revamp
status check - better (thank god)
background ambiance - ringing phonescleansing my mind of any stress and clutter process begins.

fuck the stress. fuck the anxiety. fuck worrying about it when i know it'll get done. fuck getting myself worked up. i've never been good at being stressed. when i do it, when i let the stress hit me, i shatter into a million pieces. so i adapt. instead of being stressed, i generally (the past few days being the exception) turn stress into fuel to work. item one. focus, attack, vanquish. turn to item two. think about it - what is being stressed going to accomplish? it'll leave me with an ulcer or drinking problem by 30. no thanks.

i've been going crazy the last couple of days, trying to focus all of my attention on accomplishing things. apartment? been working on it. stories for work? getting those done, albeit rather sad ones (in an emotional way, not in a quality level manner of speaking). wake up, make calls. check apartments, head to work. file my copy, race home, say hi, to go sleep. let the cycle continue.

but i'm not going to let that continue. time to relax and enjoy the coming summer, dammit! to get a kick out of the little things, like a new journal entry (how could i not mention it) or the fact that i'm reviewing a play tonight. to prepare to clean out of the monstrosity that is my car so i can take to the road this weekend and enjoy city, song and sun. to trust my cohabitants when i'm assured that everything will get done and i'm stressing in a manner completely out of character. of course it will.

so there you have it. i'm chilled. i'm relaxed. it's all good. and, although i really did not need to see a polaroid of jason mraz's right retina, thanks to it, i can say i've laughed heartily today. what more does a girl need?