never change
status check - amused
background ambiance - wind howling around my lair - er, apartment

it's funny, those people you know/knew/perhaps will know again one day. i've found that they generally fit into one of two categories.

the first: you hear something or see something. either from or about someone you've known. but you feel the person is so different from what you knew that you get angry. or you want to cry. because the person was important to you, for whatever reason. and someone who has meant something to you should not be relegated to the appendix of your life. there should be something tangible left to look on. nor should you be relegated. you should not have to wonder what the other is doing. how the other is doing. and either not get an answer or really not want to know the answer. you should not have to come across a reference and sneer because you question the intentions. the person you knew is not the person who remains.

to you, i say goodbye. i have spent far too much time focusing on you, losing out in this situation. you think not of me, i shall think not of you.

fortunately, i was reminded today of another group.

just as before, you hear something or see something and laugh because while the details have changed, the fundamentals remain. the outlook, the use of an expression or style are just as they were whenever the person last flashed into your life. you feel your awareness of the past enhances your enjoyment of the present.

i was grinning tonight, as i saw the familiar style and flair of someone i used to know. it was if i was suddenly back in a room, hidden away from the rest of the world, early in the morning. flipping through sheets of papers, surveying the results of another night's labor. always reading one first, wondering where in the reading order i fell.

he's still brilliant, still a pain in the ass in the best way. because he's so bright and talented. he served as my gilbert blythe two years ago, pushing me through his skill to produce the best work i could. and he made it look so damn easy.

but i digress. i suppose the point of my rambling tonight is that i'm happy to have read of him. i hope someday we can get back in touch. but i thank him. after spending far too much time lately upsetting myself with thoughts of people who are now shades of those i once knew, seeing that someone still resembles what i remember was a welcome treat.

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in other news, i was also able to forget my own musing for a bit to help someone else. i speak to my brother quite regularly, generally quick calls from one to see how the other's doing, chatting or laughing about something. but he called tonight after having a frustrating few days. and wanted to talk to me to see if i understood anything going through his mind - or if i could make him feel better about it all. the fact that he sought that from me was the greatest feeling. well, second to hearing him say that i helped.

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and now i provide the laughter for the evening. please visit the following links.

Victoria Beckham Disappointed That Nobody Claims To Have Had Affair With Her

David Beckham Affair Sparks Increase In Cheating Teenage Boyfriends