An Open Letter to the U.S. Senate

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I cannot cook.

Seriously. Despite efforts by friends, family and a flatmate who should be thoroughly exasperated by now, I have not demonstrated an ability to prepare on my own anything other than a small assortment of meals. I cannot even make rice. It turns out soupy.

Therefore, I am left questioning my role in society, particularly as the nominee for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court has stated that woman's primary function in America should be that of the housemaker. The purported "gender gap" has left me, I fear, somewhere in between that which I should be - capable of culinary excellence and an immaculate home for my husband - and that which I have been aspiring - a successful professional with a long-term, out-of-home career.

Adding insult to injury, I don't even have a husband. I am sure John Roberts would be appalled, aghast at the fact that I am an abnormality. I hang my head in shame as I write this.

You are preparing to vote on whether to appoint Judge Roberts to the highest seat in the highest court in the United States. Media reports predict a relatively easy appointment for the nominee.

I wonder what will come of myself - and others in a similar state - after Roberts assumes his position on the Court. Will we be scrutinized, held to a standard separate from our male counterparts, simply because we possess ovaries and, thus, lack the ability and intellect to hold the positions we now hold? Will we be denied our right to decide whether to procreate - despite the possibility that we could bring a lifeform into the world without the proper economic support or, I daresay, emotional capability to raise that child?

Will those who fail to find a compatible mate in college - which will therefore become known as Mating School for the "fairer" gender - be left to languish in apartments? Will our futures dim upon Graduation Day?

Or will Mrs. Supreme Court Justice-To-Be Roberts personally visit my home and teach me to cook so I can land a husband and fulfill my half of the American Dream?

As always, I am looking to you for answers,
Victoria