9.30.2004

um ...

status check - still awake, dammit
background ambiance - silence

i wasn't happy with the review i filed when i left work at quarter to twelve. now it's quarter to two and i'm at home, staring at the bloody screen trying to get my thoughts out just right.

perfectionist? me? when it comes to my potential criticism career?

i don't know what you're talking about. nosiree.

9.29.2004

next year, man

status check - fuzzy
background ambiance - same sounds, different day

head = fuzzy. i woke up (late) this morning, thoroughly discombobulated because i could have sworn i'd heard my mother call my name. well, turns out i wasn't totally crazy. she actually was outside my bedroom window with my father, both laughing at the confused look on my face. on their way home from a minibreak in upstate new york, they decided to swing by burlington and take me out to an early lunch. and wake me up. a nice surprise, albeit a random one.

so i started out the day confused and it's continued throughout this early afternoon. i'm just plugging away, doing what i can and preparing to go to the theater tonight (hurrah!).

turns out pete didn't come out on top in "best acoustic" at the sdmas - i was 1-for-5 in terms of vix picks. whoops. but i'm pleased to have gotten that one right - mraz won "artist of the year" for the third straight year. and that's pretty badass, so i've got to say congratulations for that! and i'm happy for tristan's nod, even if i'd hoped pete would have gotten it.

it doesn't feel like wednesday. i have no idea of what day it feels like, but definitely not wednesday. maybe next thursday or something. i've given up trying to argue with the calendar and am instead thinking those fuzzy-head thoughts that make for amusing reflection later on. for example, i'm thinking about how i'd like to try to learn a new language. maybe it's time i worked on learning at least passingly fair french or spanish. i want to read 'war and peace' so i can joke about it with knowledge. i want to start really running again as soon as the stuffiness subsides. i really want to learn how to play my damn guitar already.

??? i have no clue, either.

9.28.2004

mark your calendars

status check - optimistic
background ambiance - same

ok kids. i'm cali-bound come february. while it's all winter wonder-lousy here, i'll be getting a short sun-soaked break while listening to music, laughing and enjoying a drink at java joes.

now i have to figure out how the hell do pull it off. but regardless. i'm going to make the vacation visit work.

stetson's = nectar's

status check - amused
background ambiance - same old, same old

leave it to someone at wonkette to come up with this. perfect. except the stetson's reference, as i can't get back to that fun lil' place come thursday. amend to nectar's or manhattan's, perhaps?

Debate Drinking Game and Not Drinking Game
A Wonkette operative sent along a fairly straightforward debate drinking game, which we provide for you edification and inebriation after the jump. We, however, can't wait until Thursday to start drinking, not when there are so many good reasons to start now. So many, in fact, we don't need an excuse to drink, exactly. . . So anytime:

• Anyone tells that story about Bobby Kennedy turning up the thermostat before the Kennedy-Nixon debate: Take a sip of a hot toddy.
• Doris Kearns Goodwin mentions Lyndon Johnson: Pee outside.
• Someone shows a clip of Al Gore sighing: Recount your chads.
• A Republican operative compares Kerry to a classical orator: Drink an ouzo-and-hemlock cocktail.
• A Democrat operative uses the phrase "can't run on his record": Go to Stetson's.
• A Republican operative cites Kerry's prep school debate team experience: Try on a cheerleader outfit.
• A Democrat operative says that Bush "has never lost a debate": Try to look yourself in the eye.
• Someone plays the "you're no Jack Kennedy" clip: Lose anyway.
• Someone proclaims that "the entire race may come down to this": Move to Canada.

Start drinking for real after the jump.

Drink One Sip If:
Anyone says "terrorism"
Anyone says "Halliburton"
Anyone says "flip flop"
Anyone says "Saddam Hussein"
Anyone blames "the media"
Anyone mentions their own military service
Anyone says "September 11"
One candidate interrupts another candidate

Drink Two Sips If:
Bush says "cut and run"
Kerry says "W stands for wrong"
Either candidate talks past their time limit
Kerry brings up Bush's "Mission Accomplished" moment
Bush mentions Crawford, TX
Anyone looks at the wrong camera
Anyone whips out "evidence"
Anyone says "Osama bin Laden"
Anyone mentions blogs
Anyone invokes the hurricane sympathy vote
Anyone mentions "North Korea"
Kerry mentions Bush wants to reinstate the draft
Everytime you see anyone wearing the yellow "LiveSTRONG" bracelet

Finish Your Glass If:
Anyone in the audience gets dragged out of the auditorium
Anyone in the audience gets off an unscripted question
Bush mispronounces any word or name
Anyone says "Osama bin Hidin'"
Anyone uses a sports metaphor
Anyone attempts to speak Spanish to pander to Latinos

Do a Shot If:
Bush mentions the deficit
Bush accuses Kerry of being "French on terrorism"
Kerry accuses Bush of being a pansy for avoiding Vietnam
Bush admits he made a mistake ("miscalculation" counts)
Ralph Nader shows up insisting on airtime

Finish the Bottle If:
Anyone challenges anyone to a duel
The moderator rips off his mask to reveal his true identity is Karl Rove

sniffles and smiles

status check - i've god a code
background ambiance - typical

i am the worst sick or quasi-sick person ever. seriously. i suck at it. any little thing and all of a sudden i'm wallowing on my deathbed. i admit that it's a character flaw - one that i'm working on and have gotten much better at. and i don't catch colds or suffer from illness very often. but when i do, man, it blows.

the phrase of the day, courtesy of the petester - "colds are not chill."

indeed.

but whatever. i'm determined to shake the cold doing whatever i need to. i'll drink my teas and swallow my vitamins. i'll get my rest and i'll soak up some sunshine. i'll keep busy while not overexerting myself. why? because, dammit, i've got a great few days coming up and i'm not going to sniffle my way through a single one of them.

and i'll smile at e-sunshine from my favorite friendly people. who somehow know precisely when i'm in need of a little pick-me-up and provide such warm fuzzies in their typically fabulous ways. thanks, dears.

and since i've been the recipient of positive thinking, i'll return the favor by sending some of my own - and asking you to do the same. sdmas are this evening and pete's up for an award. so, if you get a chance today, just think good pete acceptance speech or some similarly celebratory thoughts. because he's cool like that.

9.27.2004

clinched

status check - celebratory
background ambiance - NESN

red sox.
playoffs.
clinched.
hurrah!
g'night.

when worlds collide

status check - surprised
background ambiance - scanner

for whatever reason, i never thought i'd come across howie day's name while getting my daily fix of wonkette dirt and wit.

nevertheless, what do i find today? howie's name (in bold, natch) in a snippet linking to this at the new york daily news:

Sen. John Edwards' daughter Cate slipped backstage after an acoustic set by Howie Day at the Conde Nast Grey Goose party at Tao. The Vice Presidential contender's fresh-from-Princeton lass gushed over Day's performance...

at least the girl's got taste, right?

dreamlife of yours truly

status check - good, good
background ambiance - typical

soooookay.

it's one of those random days that starts off a random week. looking at my schedule for the upcoming days, i realize there's little that will fall into any of my day-to-day style. it excites me as much as it preemptively tires me. such is life.

by this time next week, i will have attended a play, a movie, two concerts and a museum. i'll have more than enough for one week's worth of notebook nightlifing, but another concert will be approaching - the one in my crazy early october lineup i'm most eagerly anticipating. viva le rilo kiley!

perhaps my sleeping self has picked up on the amount of craziness looming for my conscious self, thus sprinkling my slumber with another series of vivid dreams. over the past several nights, i've had dreams both potentially philosophical (the "i need to go home, but where is home?" actf-esque dream of the night before last, complete with the "garden state ecstacy sequence" camera trick and appearances by acquaintances past and present) and downright random (one of last night's doubleheader dream sequence, which featured a certain oddly-coiffed musician i've been listening to for years throwing a flag into the audience and injuring someone). i've woken the last two mornings wishing i could just drift back off to sleep to see where else the dreams go.

they've also made me wonder if the people featured in the dreams' cast of characters have retained the qualities that obviously made an impression at different points of my life. i wonder if they've changed or if we'd be able to pick up our last conversations where we left them. and i wonder if i want to know if i ever cross their minds.

9.24.2004

hard-to-get

status check - pleased
background ambiance - typical

i knew they'd come crawling back, begging for more. they always do.

or something.

after working myself silly this week, i'm rewarded with two (2) assignments for arts pieces next week.

bwahahaha. two cheers for tenacity!

9.23.2004

nostalgia

status check - amused
background ambiance - typical

prompted by a message board thread i came across today. and, for the sake of all involved, not posted on the original thread. i just found it funny to think about, as it will very shortly be three years since i first heard about the band ...

... remember that first show? when chad played an accoustic solo version of "daffodils"? remember when neither he nor i could remember the second verse? remember the after-party at meg's, flipcup and thank yous?
... remember "the sweater song"?
... remember phone tag and email?
... remember the house of blues show?
... remember more phone tag? the call from dan's cafe?
... remember seeing averi sign glossies for the first time? and, linked, remember ian's "excuse me, can i buy you a dasani?"
... remember the best seats at the living room?
... remember finding the hobbit hole?
... remember two weeks?
... remember the handbag? becca's birthday wish and her ensuing chattiness?
... remember walkbys and kamikazis? me neither. "oh, we never said goodbye!" "uh, yeah we did."
... remember the trip to fpb? "shit, i inadvertantly cut off the averi-mobile."
... remember hoping that voice was just a cold and the layers were just a passing phase?

ready. set. wait to go.

status check - pleased
background ambiance - daily show

ticket for tristan and company - purchased.
ticket for rilo kiley - being purchased tomorrow (courtesy of boston brother, therefore saving me ticketmaster shipping costs more than the price of the ticket itself - viva la capitalism).
ticket for tides - not necessary.

good times. reviews, singalongs and (i'm sure) misadventures - a week and a half away.

speaking of reviews, figured it's time i linked up the new space. it's new (read: one review) and i'm still figuring out quite where i want to go with this, but hey. my recently-created, soon-to-be-full-of-artsy-goodness "professional" blog is called notebook nightlife. hop on over, take a look and please don't hesitate to email me with comments on it as it begins to grow in content size. and, if you like it, spread the word and tell your friends.

funny how i can write on and on about little things, but the second i create something for the purpose of doing "what it is i want to do," i get all shy about getting it out there. occasional fear of failure much?

um, yeah. g'night.

9.22.2004

just call me cj

status check - restless
background ambiance - i've got a jazz concert at my window

remember the "west wing" episode in which cj spends the entire time trying to balance the egg on the table? and everyone else is laughing at her, telling her it won't work while she says, "no, i swear, i've seen it?"

for about an hour this afternoon, i could have sworn i was living out that episode. near exact dialogue and all.

it was creepy/cool.

damn music

status check - annoyed, but not really
background ambiance - ben lee - dirty mind

i love/hate that everything could be delightfully lined up, would make more sense for me travel-wise, but still makes me feel stupid, in my own music-loving way.

it all pertains to that first potentially-extended boston weekend in october. i know i'll be in town saturday. i know i'll be in town tuesday. should i just stay in town sunday and monday night? i'd be able to write a crazy number of reviews for my new space (more info on it once it actually has some content). perhaps i could even pitch it to work.

but i'd be able to see tides saturday night, tristan/averi/gavin sunday night, rilo kiley tuesday night. and would be eliminating the need to drive back to vermont sunday, work monday and come back for rilo kiley tuesday. and still only have one actually vacation day taken off for it all.

i'd really like to see tristan live again. i could definitely do without gavin, but whatever. and averi?

well, i wouldn't be going to see averi. for once. they'll just happen to be there too.

***UPDATE: ah, screw it. i requested monday off. boston types - who wants to spend time with me during a long weekend? and who's in for a show at the roxy sunday night? tickets should be purchased shortly ... ***

9.21.2004

ben's crazy. i like it.

status check - lovely
background ambiance - typical

after much thought and contemplation, i've decided that ben lee is just brilliantly mad.

i'll be honest, i wasn't expecting too much by the time ben came on stage. it was late on a monday night, the end of an extraordinarily long day, and there were about 30 people there. gregory douglass had played a typically strong set that, per usual, just failed to grab me for whatever reason. pony up had performed its hipster altera-pop, but i wasn't really feeling it until the last song, when they sang this hilarious ironic slam of rock stars that made me burst into laughter, cheer loudly and think of a certain person about whom the song might as well have been written.

so when ben came onstage after 11 p.m., i was prepared to apologize to beth for dragging her out to nectar's for a lathargic late-night show.

fortunately, ben performed the craziest, funniest, likeable set i've had the opportunity to attend. he looked like a little kid, with his mop of frizzy light brown hair, gray hoodie and too-long jeans. he sat on his chair, rocking back and forth so hard he nearly fell off on several occasions. he got the audience to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the stage - all i could think of was "hipster kindergarten class." he spouted off about quantum physics, zen buddhism and being brave, telling us that we had to be brave, like english soldiers. we had to put energy into it, just as he was determined to put energy into it - he was ready to swim across the english channel for each of us. he covered "champagne supernova" for a laughing singalong. he sat onstage before he moved his chair to the audience and sat with his back to me, facing the band. he knelt on the floor, signing up into the mic, he sat on the edge of the stage, he ran outside to sing the last two songs on top of lara's car hood.

he made no sense while making perfect sense and i absolutely loved it. it was random in this fabulous, earnest way that made it impossible NOT to like him. he made sure to look each of us in the eye several times, ensuring that we were in it, we were there with him. and he'd laugh and speak with this fabulously warm australian accent that i couldn't help but smile at.

the best thing about the night is that i realized, in the midst of all this mayhem, that i was loving the music. he's an extremely tight guitarist and has a knack for knowing precisely when to bring the volume up or down for dramatic effect. his voice is intense and seasoned, but he can convey optimism and childlike eagerness when it counts.

and let's face it - the bit with the car hood was absolutely brilliant.

he'll be touring the country over the next couple of months, with stops in boston and at iota in the coming weeks - you'd be a fool not to check him out.

speaking of shows ... a couple of concert announcements.

- tristan prettyman at the roxy on oct. 3. i'm hoping i have monday off so i can hit that up and transform my crazy travels to boston into one nice, long, four-day weekend. tides, tristan and rilo kiley would make for one hell of a minibreak.

***update: oh shit ... if i do somehow manage to be able to attend that show, it's tristan, gavin decouldbegood and ... uh ... averi. haha - DAMMIT!***

- averi at the pickel barrell (killington) on oct. 16. i won't be there, but figured i would let others know of it ...

the english fucking channel

status check - dazed
background ambiance - ben lee's stuck in my head

so ... ok, here goes. i've been to some random shows. i've been to some RANDOM shows.

but i think ben lee's set at nectar's takes top prize for randomness. in a hilarious, brilliant sort of way. i think.

until i can get the whole experience written up ala review for work (and thus provide a link here), i'll leave you with this bit.

with two songs left in his set, the already-certifiably insane ben lee decides that we all need to go outside for the end of the show. he stands on a car hood to play, keeps going on about how we're soldiers crossing the english channel and, once a cop car stops by the car on which he's standing, he waves and says, "soldiers! english channel!" and the cop drives on.

the best part is that i had a hilarious time at the show and discovered that i loved his music at the same time. all in all, a most random success.

9.20.2004

monday

status check - good, tired
background ambiance - typical

so tired i'm wired. the activity-filled weekend flew by in a blur of river-exploring, downtown-walking and cocktail-sipping, leaving me amazed at how quickly it went by - and drained. in that good, productive, had a fun time sort of way.

there's something about introducing where you live to someone who's never been there before - you gain a renewed sense of appreciation for those items and elements you generally take for granted. it's a nice feeling - you can sit back at the end of the visiting and realize that things here are pretty alright afterall. and your wanderlust tendancies are temporarily abated.

autumn arrived on saturday. it was a surprisingly pronounced entrance - i went to sleep in lightweight long-sleeves weather and woke up in dire need of my sweater stash. i noticed for the first time that the green tree leaves are lined in red and amber. and i felt the first need to enjoy a meal outside with a nice warm mug of beverage - hot cider, no less. i was pleased to realize my favorite season has begun, but saddened at the same time. autumn is always bittersweet, as you know the winter aches and pains will follow the crisp, rosy-cheeked delights of fall.

but it was a grand weekend to spend exploring - mother nature cooperated with our agenda beautifully. for once. and casa de racca was filled with voices and laughter - can't go wrong there. friendly faces. reunions hundreds of miles from the original meeting places. technicolor sunset over the lake and the taste of sugar on the rim of my cocktail glass - not too shabby at all. thanks for the fun times.

as for now, i'm turning my attention to the second part of my split newsday. when regular work comes to a close, i'll enjoy some live music, as well as the fact that i'll be able to write about it tomorrow and ultimately see it in print.

9.17.2004

the timing ...

status check - so amused
background ambiance - typical

... is so close to perfect. but not quite. why? i'll explain.

i'm sitting here at my desk, laughing myself silly. i think the humor is enhanced by the fact that it looks like i'll be in dc that weekend. pity we're flying back on sunday - that would be the most interesting experience ever.

averi - 10.17 - the funk box, baltimore, md. - with jordan knight.

yes. THAT jordan knight.

since i watched "bands reunited: new kids on the block" recently, i happen to know that jordan's on tour supporting his latest album, which features his new interpretations of new kids songs. if i were in the area that day (well, beyond that morning, anyway), i would go in a heartbeat.

no, seriously. i totally would.

9.16.2004

update

status check - pleased
background ambiance - howie day - annalise

happy times here. i received a second-place award for arts writing. tomorrow i get to go to the airport and welcome a paul to vermont. becca's coming up for the weekend. i'm figuring out when i'm going to visit dc. next week, i'm starting a new e-space where i will post reviews for a&e shows/cds/whatever else seems to fit. there are a ridiculous number of shows coming up that i'm looking forward to attending. i'll be visiting boston soon. i have lovely friends and i feel more comfortable with myself than i have in quite some time.

things are on the up and up. i can feel it.

how crazy am i?

status check - contemplative
background ambiance - kid lightning - ghost

so ... kid lightning's playing the lizard lounge next saturday (9.25). i'm intrigued by what i've heard on myspace and would like to attend ... but that would mean i'd go to boston next weekend, the weekend after that, AND 10.5. then take one weekend off and possibly return for howie on the 16th.

must contemplate this ...

9.15.2004

...

status check - peachy
background ambiance - television

in her writing, she made the most of every scrap of personal experience she thought she could use for liteary material ...

"i'm sarcastic, skeptical and sometimes callous because i'm still afraid, deep down, of letting myself be hurt. there's a vulnerable core in me which every egoist has ..."

- bitter fame, a life of sylvia plath

9.14.2004

hmm ...

status check - amused, annoyed
background ambiance - typical

Q Scott, does anyone in the administration or the campaign that you know of share the First Lady's view that the documents about the President's record are fake?
MR. McCLELLAN: I can speak to our view, the White House view. I mean, obviously, she was -- Mrs. Bush was expressing her view, and there have been, as you're aware, a number of continuing questions raised about those documents. And media organizations are continuing to investigate it further. And we look forward to seeing what the results of those investigations are. And those are serious issues --
Q Have you looked --
MR. McCLELLAN: No, we're not doing our own investigation to look into the authenticity. There are serious questions that have been raised and they should be looked into.
Q By?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, media organizations are already doing -- I'd say most media organizations are already -- or many media organizations are already investigating the questions that have been raised about these documents' authenticity.
Q But you're only calling for an investigation -- when you say you want it looked into, you only want it looked into by the media. You're not suggesting some type of --
MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I think I said the same thing the last few days, that it ought to be looked into.


now i think only an idiot would make the mistake of the superscripted "th" in those documents. no one who was actually trying to pass the documents off as authentic. now call me crazy and liberal, but i believe they were created by w's people. and the fact that no one official is going to investigate allegations against el presidente only makes me more of a believer.

and if i hear mcclellen say "recycled" one more time ...

in happier news, read this and this. i'm so looking forward to the oct. 5 show ...

Any idiot can play Greek for a day
and join a sorority or write a tragedy
and articulating all that pain
and maybe you'll get paid.

But it's a sin when success complains,
and your writers block- it don't mean shit.
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.
Gotta write a hit.
I think this is it.
It's a hit.

9.13.2004

p.s. vanity kills

status check - laughing
background ambiance - same

stepped outside for a moment to enjoy the lovely fall day and was walking down a side street. i've been feeling snazzy all day, as i went shopping this weekend and am sporting a new outfit that i'm quite fond of. but as i was walking, i had one moment where i realized, "hey, know what? i look good today."

straight out of a romantic comedy or something, just after the thought passes through my mind, my shoe hits a crack in the pavement and i fall to the ground - in the least graceful possible manner. arms flying, small shriek and thud included.

i limped my way back to the office, snazzy outfit no worse for the wear - but my ego bruised even more than my knee.

i never get hurt when i'm being self-depricating - i must remember that.

notes from a monday

status check - just ducky
background ambiance - typical

- if you're at all into classic hollywood and, more so, knowing what was really going on during c.h.'s heydey (as i am), i recommend "de-lovely." caught a screening last night, during which i was the youngest audience member by a good two decades at least. after you adjust to the interesting format with which the film covers the story arc, it's a good, seemingly-close-to-honest-by-hollywood-standards type of film. which means it's not pretty subject matter set against a decidely pretty series of backdrops and locations ... and hell, it has kevin kline, who just rocks my world. "emperor's club aside" (aka: "dead poets society the sequel"), i'd go to almost any movie if kevin kline's in it.

- "the compleat works of wllm shkspr [abridged]" - cute, fun play. had i been a theater major in college, that show would have made the perfect victoria senior sem.

- defamer points out a deal for "1/4life" - Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick get an ABC pilot deal for 1/4Life, a drama focused on friends living in Chicago undergoing post-college mid-20's crises; think of it as thirtysomething before receding hairlines and erectile dysfunction set in. i find it funny that i can't hear any references to "quarter-life" without feeling this ridiculous urge to defend mayer's use of it above all others. even though i know people must have used the expression before i heard it for the first time in "why georgia" all those years ago - and even though mayer sucks now.

- read "the rule of four." i picked it up yesterday (after many attempts at telling myself i shouldn't buy it until it comes out in paperback, i caved) and read it in its entirety. i don't think it can be appropriately compared to "the da vinci code," though - yes, they're both intelligent novels based on puzzles and history, but apples and oranges. both very good.

- i'm ridiculously pleased to realize a number of concerts are on the horizon. as will be a temporary relapse into spending every other weekend in boston ...

- finally, while i've said it before, i'll say it again. for your own sake, read zach braff's blog, man.

concert alert

status check - pleased
background ambiance - rachel yamagata - letter read

saturday, october 16. howie day - solo - at the orpheum.

i plan on attending and will buy my ticket within a day or two. anyone else?

9.11.2004

rock art

status check - pre-play giddiness
background ambiance - gpaltrow on "inside the actors studio"

like many burlingtonians, i spent part of my saturday hopping around the south end in an artistic manner. the annual art hop opened south end shops and galleries to the art-hungry public, with more installations, pieces and drawings than i was possibly able to view during my brief afternoon trapsing.

i did, however, make a point to stop by the indoor-skatepark-turned-gallery on the corner of battery and king. photos and posters from the higher ground days ... heavenly. it was fascinating to realize just who had made their way to hg on the way toward musical brilliance - and thoroughly distressing that i had missed so many amazing shows. modest mouse in 2000, with the shins opening? guster's 9.9.99 show? norah jones, elliott smith (several times), and others? oy. when hg opens in its new space, i'm going to frequent it much more frequently. and do some research when they put out the new schedules.

but there were a couple of posters that made me smile, as the memories of the show popped back into my mind. cherry poppin' daddies with will and collin sporting the zoot suits - fun vintage-looking poster for that one. a simple, yet bold poster for damien rice's april show (the last time i was in hg) made me think of the silence in the house while he covered "hallelujah."

those posters - that's my kind of art. don't get me wrong - i adore matisse and picasso. my van gogh print is my favorite piece of art, while i'm a sucker for vintage posters of the french persuasion. but at the top of my favorites? art posters for my favorite musicians. that's why i hold onto the posters i get, after all - and why i just went through the whole process of creating huge framed collages of the pieces i've acquired. a combination of art and the immediacy of the musical memories they conjure ... heavenly.

9.09.2004

present

status check - here
background ambiance - keyboards

sometimes i feel obligated to write at least something in this little space. afterall, if the roles are reversed and i'm looking at someone else's space, i'm the first to wish for something new from the author to read and, if i'm lucky, even enjoy. so when i go without writing, i feel like i'm being a hypocrite.

but sometimes there just isn't anything to write. nothing's going badly, but you're just plugging away at your job or doing whatever at home. you're kept busy so the day flies by and you realize you are on the home stretch and you didn't even fully realize when the sun set and night began. time is ticking right on by and you're oblivious to the entire thing, focusing on what you're supposedly supposed to be focusing on until you can say goodbye for the night and, if you're feeling ambitious, perhaps go for a run upstairs before leaving the building.

more so for the possibility that it'll make you tired and you'll sleep better than any health or physical improvement factors. you're on pacific time without ever standing on the shore of the pacific - everything, from waking up to drifting off to sleep, is about three hours off schedule. which is the smarter choice - to adapt your sleep schedule to your present time zone or adapt your time zone to your present sleep schedule?

9.08.2004

necessary procrastination

status check - decent
background ambiance - typical background for a wednesday evening

sometimes you just need to push the work away for a couple of minutes so you can come back to it clear-headed. hence the pointless appeal of surveys ...

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
actual studio albums or cds in general? if we're going studio releases, it would be jeff buckley, followed closely by dmb. but if it's live shows or just general burned cds, either howie day or jmraz. i have a crazy number of both.

2. What was the last song you listened to (voluntarily)?
beautiful, beautiful - tristan prettyman & g love. although i wouldn't say it's necessarily voluntary, as the song's more of an addiction.

3. What's on your record player right now?
i lack a record player. but i'd rather like one. my cd player (car) has my latest burned mix, which includes tracks by tprettyman (w/g love), jmraz, pthurston, guster, hday, sheblondeswede and bushwalla.

4. What song would you say sums you up...:
i've yet to hear a song that sums me up. i challenge you to write it. but closest? "pictures of success." rilo kiley.

5. What's your favorite local band?
burlington doesn't have a great local scene, so i'll go with boston. averi, followed closely (very, very closely) by tides.

6. What was the last show you attended?
hmm. averi at middle earth? yep.

7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
oh god, i couldn't answer that even if i wanted to.

8. What's the shittiest band you've ever seen in concert?
early 2002. met cafe, providence. we sought refuge from the cold after leaving mayer and his musical masterbation to try to find lars and pete. didn't find them, so we went in for this show where we were two of six fans. the only two who weren't related to the band. the band broke up seven minutes later. we were back in the cold and out ten bucks each.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
i don't generally hate anyone i listen to.

10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
at different times, i've been a one-time concert co-organizer/promoter (the organization worked out brilliantly, the promotion not so much), college radio dj and freelance live music critic. one of my college homes also served as an occasional lodging space for a couple of bands.

11. What show are you looking forward to?
rilo kiley is playing the middle east on oct. 5. i don't care what i have to do, i'm going to be there for it.

12. What is your favorite band shirt?
that i own? my old-school edna's goldfish t-shirt.
that someone else owns? the band shirt i made beth. "they play for you. they buy shots for me."

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
i'd love to chat with bono, but i don't know if i'd last a whole day. ani would be cool to meet, as would adam duritz. or rivers cuomo.
ah, hell, i just want to get out to california already and chill with pete and bushwalla. drinks at java joe's, please.

14. What musician would you like to hump for a day?
it would be hard to choose. the one time i'd be down with an orgy ...

15. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes...
jeans and leather.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
sabbath.

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
whichever's alright.

18. Blackjack or solo Michael Bolton?
i don't know blackjack. yet i'd probably be more down with blackjack than michael bolton. in fact, i'm sure of it.

19. Doesn't Primus suck?
i listened to primus briefly at some point ... they obviously left a lasting impression.

20. Name 3 flawless albums:
jeff buckley - grace
radiohead - the bends
the beatles - sgt. pepper

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
it's music dork, thank you. and i was one long before.

22. What was the greatest decade for music?
1960s.

23. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own?
between the three of us in my flat, we own ... five. i believe. ok, fine. four are mine.

24. Do you like Journey?
oh come on. of course you do - a little. you sing along when you hear it on the radio. try denying it. guilty pleasure.

25. Don't try to pretend you don't.
there are some things about which you just don't pretend. journey? definitely one of them.

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
"garden state" for the bitchin new, "good morning vietnam" for the bitchin old.

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
rage rock. early sophomore year of college. a whole lot of korn and limp bizkit going on. it wasn't pretty.

28. What's the crappiest CD/record/etc you've ever bought?
um ... this ohio band i heard was good. i can't even recall what they're called anymore.

29. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs?
cds, as i don't have a record player (hint). but i love the little pops and old sound of vinyl. try listening to the doors on a record player. heaven.

30. All totaled, how much do you spend on music a month? (including shows, records, admission to dance clubs)
depends. probably about one hundred? i'm not going to even figure in the gas money that gets me to boston. but sometimes more, sometimes less.

singin in the rain

status check - self-depricating
background ambiance - keane - bedshaped

pity that i get in a really silly mood right when i'm supposed to be sleeping.

it's raining ridiculously hard outside, but it's one of those showers that started so suddenly that you feel like you're in the midst of a huge movie set and the direction just yelled "cue rain!"

it's night and an end-of-summer storm, yet it reminded me of the april shower over two years ago, running and sliding my way across the soaked marble in front of the kennedy center, one member of a cab search party ...

9.06.2004

download time

status check - decent
background ambiance - silence

i haven't been able to stop playing g love and tristan's "beautiful, beautiful." it's addicting, in the best of ways. find and listen to it here. you can thank me after.

picked up something new and a few blasts from the past (love the used cd sales ...) during shopping today. the new tunes provided background music worthy of my ambitious, music-memorabilia-consolodation projects for the day. my mishmash of memories now looks truly bitchin.

but wanted to make special note of one purchase: rachael yamagata's happenstance. reminiscent of fiona apple, but with this kickass individuality that makes it clear that i'll be listening to this for awhile.

thank you, mister asshole

status check - annoyed
background ambiance - freaked-out silence

what a fucking lovely weekend.

on friday, someone said that i was working to scratch my way up the journalistic ladder so i could get to a higher paper. it didn't come off as a compliment. such a cold view of the work i'm trying to do made me feel horrible.

on saturday, my mother laughed off my talk of "when i get to boston" with a series of "uh-huh"s. and then everything else i tried to say for my entire visit seemed to be dismissed in an equally flippant manner. that made me feel even worse.

and tonight, just as i thought i couldn't feel more upset, some asshole decided to take out one of the window panes in our sunroom. it's 2:30 a.m., i'm wide awake typing and all of a sudden i hear a smash in the next room. glass made it from the window pane all the way across the sunroom and into the chair nestled in the opposite corner. a quick inspection outside (me freaking out all the while) reveals a large branch right outside the window. someone either decided to make it into an impromptu javelin or swing it like a baseball bat.

i have no problems with residential safety during a year in the d.c. area, yet i have someone smash my window in burlington fucking vermont.

so now i'm pissed off and freaked out. fucking fabulous.

9.04.2004

down with hermitage

status check - upset
background ambiance - crickets

i have to wonder why i even try this whole "interact with fellow humans" thing. it just really isn't worth it.

9.03.2004

recipe for a brain frying (aka productive day)

status check - exhausted
background ambiance - daily show

take an early wake up, add copious amounts of coffee. add small children. stir and let settle for an hour or two. then add local coverage, slightly larger small children and postivity! shake vigorously. mix with not enough time and many miles. add dash of traffic and tardiness. let sit for two hours. add deadline and fatigue.

garnish as desired, serve immediately.

9.02.2004

random incoherencies

status check - tired
background ambiance - television

when i was little, my grandmother used to tell me about how i was almost nicknamed tori. when i was born, my great-grandmother (the only great-grandparent left on either side and, to boot, one of the few grands of any form left by that point) told my mother that i was definitely a tori. it suited me, she said.

at the time, what the potential nickname suited was a squirmy mass of red face and blankets, as great-grams died when i was still in swaddling and booties. my mother was, for whatever reason, not enamored with the whole tori thing and had already decided on vickie for a nickname. v-i-c-k-i-e. so a vickie i became.

growing up, i always liked the idea of playing around with my nickname, coming up with as many variations upon the name that i could. the beginning of each new school year marked a new spelling, which always perplexed my teachers and classmates. i started school as vicky and switched the next year to vicki. i even tried vikki for a bit, but even i wasn't crazy about that one. so i'd alternate between the -ie, -y and -i until seventh grade, at which point i adopted vickie and just stuck with it. i have signatures in my various high school yearbooks in which classmates just wrote out my name any which way they possibly could - either to be on the safe side or to be appropriately wiseass.

as i approached college, i played around with the idea of going to tori route. well, it was actually prompted by my social circle at the time. they started calling me tori. i liked them, therefore i liked tori. while i introduced myself to people in school as tori, i seriously considered recreating myself as tori. new start, new nickname. so, from time to time, people would refer to me as tori and i liked it.

after the first months of school, though, the social circle fell apart (pretty much spontaneously combusted, actually) and i realized that the tori they'd refer to really wasn't the me i wanted to be. hell, they also called me "drew" (because at the time, i thought drew barrymore was an idiot and waste of oxygen), so i really should have picked up on the fact that any new nicknames from them was a bad idea. tori was too perky, overly trusting, even a bit overly dependent. tori sucked, vickie was much better. end of that saga.

last week, someone commented on my name and mentioned that she knew a victoria who went by rory. and i started to wonder if i could adapt to the name - if i didn't have the whole 23 years' worth of connections to the vickie thing. let's say i'd been called rory for as long as i could remember. or tori. or vix. whatever.

the point is, would it make a difference? would i be different than i am now? would i feel more outgoing or confident when it counts? would i even be a writer like i am now?

and would it be possible at this point to transform my name even if i wanted to?

it's another in the endless series of "what if"s - what if we hadn't moved to vermont when i was little, what if i'd gone to a different college. what if i'd gone out for college soccer instead of softball, what if i'd studied abroad and not gone the whole actf route junior year, what if i'd made a different decision about what to do after college. most of those what ifs fall on me - they were ultimately my decisions. but it's interesting to be able to pass the buck for once - to wonder about a decision made before i even knew what decisions were.

this is what happens when i SHOULD be writing in the notebook ...

9.01.2004

thanks, NESN

status check - amused
background ambiance - red sox game

bolting to the television during the seventh inning stretch to try to see all of the averi guys perform: blush from laughing coworkers.

seeing the bottom of michael's "3 1/2" shirt and a bit of stu (or was it chris? or matt? funny, i coudn't tell) and realizing they're standing on the grounds of fenway park: pretty damn cool.

i was excited to see the band (kind of) on television. much like i was excited to see mayer perform at the grammys and win shortly thereafter.

know what i mean?

in other news. want to write some more pages tonight. can't. why? i have to go to the first day of school tomorrow. funny, i thought i went to college and worked hard for four years so i never had to go to a first day again. hmm.

lalala

status check - delightful
background ambiance - television (i love jon stewart)

i'm not going to get a decent night's sleep until this thing's finished.