12.28.2001

hola from quincy-land...just got back from pat mcgee band at avalon...for a place that doesn't look like much from outside, it shapes up very nicely inside...it was definitely a wake-up call for the girl who loves paradise...gorgeous venue.

that said, i missed paradise during the show. there were so many people, and while i enjoyed the music, i couldn't feel the connection that i find in a smaller place. paradise is perfect for pmb--a fact the band obviously realized during the show, as pat kept talking about "last time at paradise", etc. etc.

but the band was on tonight--great set. shorter set than last time, but that was to be expected...they raffled off a guitar again--the last three digits of my ticket were 192. 188 won. the girl in front of me in line won the guitar and got to rock out onstage with the band. BITTER!!!!!!

but the days here have been great. last night i went with michelle, crystal and jess to flannigan's, then we went to the pony room. drunken revelry commenced. then today michelle and i went into boston to meet up with drew at fanuel hall--we went to lunch at the green dragon. i found it neat to be setting up the details of where we'd meet by saying "we're meeting at the statue of sam adamns.." where i've grown up, we meet at houses. in college, maybe church street or whatever. but meeting n such an historic place, going to lunch at a "hotbed for the british during the revolutionary war"--it was neat. :) and it was fantastically wonderful to meet up with drew--fun times were had by all.

will write more later, when i'm home. now i go to watch sense and sensibility. kareoke tomorrow night--it's gonna get ugly. ;) then home saturday. back to normal life...

12.23.2001

Beth3161: and they interviewed the current boy bands about the effect New Kids had on them
magdalena281: LOL. nick carter: "i wanted to BE joey joe!"
Beth3161: LOL
Beth3161: joey joe talked about how difficult it was to grow up in the spotlight
Beth3161: and all the fun and girls they had
magdalena281: to think, what they were doing while we stared at their posters...we were so duped!
Beth3161: the funniest part was when they were like...little girls would offer their bubble gum and buttons to meet the band...the 18+ category offered every sexual favor imaginable and would take off their clothes
magdalena281: it's still so impossible for me to wrap my brain around...i can't imagine them saying that! it's like i have a 11-year-old teeny bopper girl forcefield around them!
alright, i prepare for my trip to the greater boston area. i finally set up voicemail for my cell phone, i emailed peeps, i wrapped gifts (one to go), i think i almost have everything done. now i'm trying to figure out what i need to do...

i can't wait to get down to massachusetts. for one of the the first times, i'm realizing that there are friends all around where i'll be. i'll be in beverly, michelle is in quincy, drew in lynn, amanda in peobody, megan in franklin, christine in...where is christine? around there somewhere.

it's odd though, because beverly, danvers, lynn, etc...i've known these places all my life. i've been going there for years, was born there, etc. but it's always been where my family is. now it's where my family and friends are. it makes the prospect of going there to visit all the better. i am exceptionally excited.
february 25.

higher ground.

john mayer.

i am so glad i went online before heading to work...now i have something to smile about!!!!!!!!!!

12.22.2001

a random snippet of information brightened an otherwise dismal day. and not like the information directly affects me, but i thought it was neat. confused yet? read on...

first, my day. started with me at work at 9 a.m. yeah. i'm tired, i'm cranky, i'm just all sorts of not in a good mood. the day dragged on forever, i was stuck in a drive thru window with frozen fingers and obnoxious customers (while the holiday season brings out some of the sweetest people, it also brings out some of the snobbiest people in the world--particularly through drive-thru), and it just generally sucked.

now i'm sitting at home trying to motivate myself enough to do some excercizing before i crawl into bed to sleep for a bit before my 9 a.m. shift tomorrow. and then, after all that, i have to be in at 6 AM on christmas eve so i can be out by 2 so we can drive to my aunt's before going to my grandmother's. AND, because my brother's driving down to alix's, that means i have to be in with my parents, who are OPENING. which means 5 AM, in fair haven, probably curled up in a ball somewhere sleeping for an hour and cursing my existance i refer to as a life.

bad mood? yes.

my plans for immediately following christmas appear to be changing. we'll see. whatever winds up happening, it'll be nice to get away, if only for a day or so.

but the good random un-vickie-relevant news? hayden was nominated for a golden globe for "life as a house." i thought it was neat for him to be honored, particularly considering the company he's keeping in the category...plus the fact that he's my latest eye candy...hehehehehehe. i plan on seeing LAAH, as well as "lord of the rings"--which can't be seen in rutland until at least january because of the lack of an agreement between the film company and distributor. so i think i might try to get uncle tom to go see it with me when i go down to mass. or i'll see LAAH, i don't particularly care. i want to see both eventually.

now i need to excercise and sleep. i couldn't sleep last night and had a ridiculously fucked up dream i never want to experience again. very...graphic.

12.21.2001

the grade fairy was good to me--i need to make sure to slip her a $20 next time for this miracle!

4.0 for the semester--first collegiate straight a semester...now a response to each grade for each class:

defender: paul is bribing me with an a because he knows that if my gpa suffered, i would have a perfectly good reason to say that i won't come back. perhaps it had something to do with all the work we did this semester, but i think it also has to do with the fear of a vickie-less defender semester. bribery...ah, nothing like the ethical journalism i know and love...obviously i'm kidding. i thought it was neat of paul to do. made my day...

chief patterns 1: alirght, my attendance in kirk's class this semester was probably worse than it was last semester. and when defender wrapped up last semester, kirk shook my hand and said he was looking forward to me actually being in class. um...yeah. plus the fact that i wrote my research paper pretty much in one day...i've come to two trains of thought on this. the first? my paper wasn't great, but the fact that i even attempted to take on aristotle using "america's sweethearts" and "raiders of the lost ark" as sources earned me points. second? the fact that i wrote ten pages for my final and put a lot of effort into it. or the fact that kirk and i get along well and i did the play. i guess i won't fight it. but i plan on emailing him to laugh about my paper. :)

liz class: i knew i'd do well. bethy told me before the class even started and i knew i was doing well all semester.

overall? shocked, but happy. i joke about it, but i did work hard this semester.

also got a new scholarship...bonus! thank you class of 1983.

alright, must go work out and then email peeps.

12.20.2001

i was curled up in bed, unable to sleep. so i figured i'd check email and then go back to bed. which naturally meant i'd drop a line here, since i haven't in a bit.

i've been working working working. i've also decided that i'm an idiot and have selected the worst possible time of year to start working out. for whatever reason, i'm determined to get in shape now. during the holidays. when cookies, fudge, chocolate, cookies, fudge are being offered to me on what seems like a ten-minute cycle. i've been good. i've been working out and whatnot. but i don't know how much longer i can say no to peanut butter fudge...

christmas is rapidly approaching, i'm happy about it. it'll be good to see family, it'll be good to see smc friends while i'm "at home" in massachusetts. i hope to see drew, i'm staying at michelle's for a few days, and we're going to see pmb at avalon on the 27th. i finally bought the tickets today--so now it's official! while i have to work a lot over this break to make money (and thus be able to continue working on defender--note to self: talk to paul about defender), it'll be nice to have a chance to get away and actually act like a 21-year-old college student for once. :)

but it's been nice to be home. i'm getting along with everyone--my father is incredibly excited about christmas--for some reason, it seems more so than in previous years--and it's infectious. i think he's happy that both of his kids are home for a bit (although tom won't be with us for the actual holiday--he's going down to alyx's place--the trade off of holidays--we get her for thanksgiving, they get him for christmas) and that things are brighter than they have been in years past. it makes me all the happier to be home for the holidays--although every once in awhile, i get these ridiculously overly-sentimental pangs of "this is the last time i'll spend christmas 'at home'--next year i have to be out there in the world somewhere". what do you expect from the girl who STILL cries (as i recently discovered) watching the little mermaid, for christ's sake? my mother and i have had a chance to spend time together--the other day we went for a walk around town--it was absolutely gorgeous outside, warm, sunny, and snow everywhere--and talk and relax. besides my constant growls at my father for his working too much and my moaning about how muscles i didn't even know i had aching, it's been really nice.

but i know once january rolls around, i'll be ready to go back. i'm always ready to. much as i crave getting the hugs from my family, i need to be away just as much. that's one of the reasons why i'm looking forward to boston. a chance to get away for a few days, see my joey girl, have fun, and be free for a little bit.

in other news...it's crazy to think that it's already been a year since lexi passed away...i think about her constantly, obviously, but i try not to think about it too much and get overly sentimental. afterall, i know that if she was able to be around me when i did focus on it too much, she'd slap me upside the head and tell me to wise up. but it's been hard. particularly this year, because as we go through all of the "this is the last time we're doing this at st. mike's...", i feel like she should be there with us. hell, she definitely should. and thinking that it's been a full year she's been gone...i just miss her. how could you not miss someone who forgets to come back to school for the spring semester? honestly! so today, i told my family to be careful driving, went to work, visited becca and came home. and when i went upstairs and was by myself, i pulled out the ani difranco ticket i keep in my wallet and looked at it for a few minutes. lexi had ordered it for me, so it has her last name on it. and that was enough.

12.15.2001

99 average in creative non-fiction writing...yeah baby!

i found a box of some of my things that my mom had put in my room--it has a couple of notes with andrew from high school...sweet 16 birthday cards...AND my online journal that i kept sophomore year. i was laughing my ass off reading some of the stuff...then i came across this.

february 14, 2000

happy valentine's day!!

today has been a good day. well, ignoring the fact that it's snowing, yet again, which means that whenever i walk into a building, i'm covered with wee lil snowflakes, obviously....

... i ended up calling c. over, and he came and chatted with me, and i will say that besides my jesse (my big bro, smc style), c. is the second best guy i know here...

... one of the things that has been depressing me had been that i felt like i was disconnected from everything. and when i talked to my mom, she said the classic line--'but vickie, everyone feels that way too, you're not the only one.' and i said the classic daughter line--'first of all, mom, they don't. second, that doesn't make me feel any better.'

but c. understood how i was feeling and he made me feel like i wasn't totally out of the loop. it's just so nice to hear that you're not alone, even if there's not much to say. plus it felt really nice to have someone around, just spending time with me, even when we were just singing along with my sinatra cd while he threw around my little piglet. i just didn't feel alone for once. plus when he was leaving, he said that we'd chat again soon because he was there for me and now he knew i was there for him too.

i told him that i felt stupid for leaving the voicemail, and what he said in response was one of the nicest things i've heard in ages. he gave me this look and asked, 'why?' and i shrugged my shoulders and said that i didn't know. i just did. and he looked back at me and asked, 'do you still feel stupid?' and i thought about it and smiled. 'no, i really don't.' and he smiled and said that he was glad because i should know that he's there for me no matter what. and that felt really great to hear.


i thought the timing of me finding that little gem was interesting.

alright, time to get stuff organized. i left my speaker cable at school, now all i want in the world is a set of headphones...
i'm home...we got about four or five inches of snow last night in burlington--made it fun for me to drive home at 8 a.m., but red held up like a trooper and made me proud.

i'm exhausted today--after driving home, i went christmas shopping with my father, and now he's napping upstairs, my mom is napping downstairs, and i'm planning on napping at some point in the near future.

oh! i got my journal yesterday--if anyone wants to participate, you know how to reach me...

12.14.2001

it's official--jamie's no longer affiliated with howie day.

:-(
i just wrote my resume.

ACK!!!!

and i bit the bullet tonight and did something i probably shouldn't have--but i feel a lot better about it (aboot it?) now...so fuck it. it's all good.

talking with megan tonight about ACTF made me all sorts of excited!!!! and talking to kirk about it when i handed in my final (my final final of the fall semester!!!!!) was humorous--he was talking about the drew/vickie team, saying that the "intellectual power" that will be present will be astounding...to which i replied, "yeah, drew's wicked smart." no one can say i'm not modest. :)

alright, need to wake up early to bring resume over to mike so i can get my internship. the application process is funny--mike already told me i've got it, ted already told me i've got it, we're going through all this just so we can do the paperwork. i know mike is going to laugh at my cover letter--"high level of professionalism? you've WORKED with crawford, you know better!"

it's just scary to be doing this whole resume thing--collecting everything i've done and whatnot--making me realize the real world is just around the corner...

12.12.2001

i saw harry potter tonight. very fun movie. and i didn't remember that the trailer for star wars was debuted with it! michelle was laughing at me as i gazed up at the screen. i was in heaven, and it was just a bloody trailer!

oh yes, since we left the theatre, our british accents have been back. yahoo!!!!
i learned my pirate name today: mad morgan read.

flashback to high school...gio romeo--scury man and rickets boy...arr...

and it's official--i'm drew's scene partner for ACTF!!! funfunfunfunfun... :)

blearg. need sleep. tired me, so tired i almost refused a hot chocolate. silly wabbit!

12.11.2001

liz stuff done. down to my kirk take-home, then i'm home free!

must run to bookstore to sell back book and buy present.

12.10.2001

paper is finished. whether good or bad, i worked my ass off, so fuck it.

now i shower, finish liz stuff for tomorrow, then tonight? red square. :):):)
all-nighter update 2:

on page 10. beginning to talk about movies. already talked about the contender, preparing for america's sweethearts, raiders of the lost ark and mighty aphrodite. i think i'm going to jote down notes and then wake up at 9 to try to finish. have all day to work on it.

and the scary thing is? so far, it actually seems to make sense.

12.09.2001

all-nighter update 1:

now that i actually have research supporting what i am attempting to say, i am, in classic vickie form, starting from scratch.
the great all-nighter officially begins
one of the new topics of discussion is how similar "ghost" is to remy zero's "twister"--i was skeptical, but wow. the guitar is almost exactly the same.
well well well...it's interesting to see how many people seem to have issues with howie lately...

check out buzzing or the board and see what i mean...
one tequila

two tequila

theee tequila

floor

12.07.2001

you do the math: three (3) long island iced teas consumed within about an hour and a half.

yet i'm completely fine by a third of the way through "the wiz".

?????

the show was good. the acting was great, the costumes were great. i was psyched for all of the cast and crew to have so many people there (for christ's sake, i'm a theatre person, how can i not be psyched about a full house???), yet i'll admit it smarted a bit. the wiz was good, but so was arcadia. i wish the smc campus was more receptive to a show that makes you actually think for once.

but for the wiz peeps: i'm proud of you all. you made me a happy girl.

now...good girl? aw, fuck it. cast party. :):):)
this is my weekend:

friday:
--happy hour at what ales you
--the wiz
--??? seriously doubt i'll work on my paper, but if i'm a good girl...

saturday:
--paper
--collect donations before the wiz
--paper
--paper
--paper
--wiz cast party

sunday:
--attend graduation?
--paper
--paper
--defender dinner
--paper
--paper

oh, how fun. shoot me now.

12.06.2001

i had a delightful evening tonight.

bethy and i went downtown to see phil's play--"the eight: reindeer monologues." after getting off to a late start, we finally figured out where the show was being performed and went in. the "no admittance under 14" had transformed to "no admittance under 21." what does this mean? it means the bar is open for business! we ordered long island iced teas.

now i'm becoming the long island iced tea conissour (sp?) in my short time being legal--even i was amazed watching the creation of this drink. normally, the alcohol involved will fill approximately 1/3 to 1/2 (on a really strong one) of the glass. this bartender literally filled the glass 3/4 of the way with alcohol, then the lemon juice, then a splash of pepsi. i was amazed. this drink was STRONG. i almost didn't think i'd be able to drink it, and i drink these things like water all the time.

but like the champs we are, bethy and i rallied and consumed the demon drinks while watching the show. let me say--theatre + alcohol = one very satisfied victoria. and the show was really good. very dark--started off funny, but went really dark by the end. everyone did an excellent job (although some of the monologues ran a bit long--*cough* DANCER *cough*), and my phil-dog represented beautifully. the show was about an hour and a half without intermission, and at the end, bethy and i quickly decided that we needed to walk around downtown before even thinking about driving home (did i mention that this was the mother of all long island iced teas???).

church street was beautiful--no clouds, just stars, and while chillier than during the day, the night was beautifully warm--is it really december??? so we wandered about and finally went to manhattan's for what seemed to be the greatest pizza ever. it was nice to be able to talk and relax and have fun for awhile--get away from the pressures of finishing up classes and all that bullshit.

and home by 11 to do work. how great is that???

happy vickie.
i've been telling myself that i wouldn't let him bother me when i actually saw him.

this morning he came into work to get some stuff taken care of for graduation, and i felt an odd detachment. i didn't really care that he was there, and i was ready for him to leave.

i don't really like feeling that way.
i'll be shallow for a moment. i'm not going to lie about it.

i am looking forward to when star wars episode II comes out. why? two words: hayden christensen.

nothing like a james dean clone-type person to make me anticipate a movie. :)

12.05.2001

seeing my brother with his bandmates in front of "their favorite store" makes me miss the boy all the much more (he's second from the left--lead singer...aw yeah...)

12.04.2001

i will get to be a part of the 1000 journals project afterall.

i'm actually extremely excited about this! i love the entire premise--hell, i always like things like these. i have no idea how the idea originated, but i think it's fucking brilliant. i can't wait to get working on it!

got my senior pictures taken. some look ok. some look shitty. i think i know which one's going into the hilltop, so whatever.

howie was supposed to be here today. :(
the final newspaper has been put to bed. trip to the printer tomorrow and i am done for over a month!!!!

*crowd goes wild at this amazing feat*

12.03.2001

no grippo this week. next week.

i completely understand that people had work to do and didn't have time to go. obviously that's fine. but it's hard--i was supposed to see grippo tonight. howie was supposed to play here tomorrow night. i find out howie's not playing, and i'm really disappointed. i had been looking forward to it for a long time. so howie's not playing, and i focus on the fact that i'm finishing the newspaper, i'm going to see grippo and relax, then completely finish the newspaper. screw howie, i wouldn't have really had time to see him anyway because i'm doing stuff tonight. and then no one wants to see grippo.

add onto that the whole making a fool out of myself and feeling like i had my heart TRAMPLED ON last week (and i don't need to hear i deserve better, because at this point, i deserve SOMETHING. and it's quite obvious to me that SOMETHING is not going to find me and i'm going to be old and become a librarian. so even if i deserve better, having said heart crushed sucks. so what if i am better off without him--it would feel nice to finally have something work out and cheer me up, rather than have me go through my days feeling like when i have a crush on someone, i'm not happy because it means i'm going to have to try to do something about it and make a jackass of myself and feel awful. because it's a huge deal for me to put my heart out there, and while it might not seem like a big deal to everyone else, it really is to me)

so instead of being disappointed by one show, i'm disappointed by two. both of which are made that much more disappointing by the dreary existance i call my life.

and i have still have to do my fucking research paper.

now i finish editing pages. thank god it's the last fucking issue.

p.s. no offense to any librarians out there in my readers. you're great. i just don't want to be one of you.
aurgh. why can't i just be happy this past week?
dmb's "everyday" video brightened my day. as did getting flowers! drew got poinsettas for me and my housemates and left them for us in our rooms. how sweet was that? i'm thrilled that i've been able to find such a great friend. :)

now i get work done because i think i'm still going to go downtown to see grippo tonight. i'm going to be stuck waiting for everyone to finish their pages anyway, i want to go, and editing will seem that much nicer with a drink or two in me.

oh, and i heard back from shawn about the show tomorrow--it's off (like i figured). i had a fantastically harsh letter ready to send if i didn't hear from anyone--then he was nice, so i have a letter i can't even send. dammit! shawn says he's going to try to get howie here next semester. he'd better...
i knew it would take a lot to top the staff photo from last semester (we had a 'virtual vacation' theme--we were all photoshoped onto a deserted island--looked great), but i think we managed to top it this semester.

hehehehehehe

12.02.2001

not a happy camper. :-(
happy birthday to jen-kelly-one-word-one-space! everyone in my house is now officially legal. :)

last night was fun. cortni came up, and we went to the shaun d. extravaganza for 15 minutes (i got all dressed up and everything), then returned to go downtown at midnight. in jen's honor, i went all out--my pleather "rock star" pants, red "disco" shirt, and michelle's new million-inch boots...i was told that i was a sexy bitch--but trying to walk in those fucking boots was next to impossible. by the end of the night, i felt like i was going to break my ankles...but i digress.

went to rasputin's at midnight with jen, kevin, emilee, brendan, michelle and cortni, were there for enough time for one drink, then went to rira's for the rest of the evening--stayed there until michelle heard a waitress say "they have to LEAVE" a little after 2. was fun times...

now i have to finish my stuff for defender (oh wait, i actually have to START my stuff for defender...). bleargh.

12.01.2001

today is world AIDS day.

all posts today will be information, links, etc. pertaining to AIDS awareness. please take a moment to think about the number of people who are living with this in their everyday lives and do what you can to help, learn, or simply reflect.

first, the 411 on AIDS.

today i'm linking and thinking.