nice moment.

tonight is my night off - much needed relaxation. i've spent the evening curled up with a movie (finally watching "sidewalks of new york" - i like, by the way - a nice change of pace) and doing nothing. ah ... but anyway. i took a break from the movie to stand outside and clear my mind.

but instead, i stood on my porch and felt the breeze. spring-y (forecasts be damned, this is spring) and surprisingly blustery. for some reason, i decided to close my eyes and let the breeze blow over ...

... and i was suddenly convinced that, were i to open my eyes and look off to the left, i'd see the policeman statue. were i to open my eyes and look ahead, i'd see the side of the apartment building across the street. the park would be off to the side, small fountain lit up, chesstables waiting for a midnight game, benches sprinkled with fellow late-night wanderers not quite ready to turn in for the evening. perhaps a small group would walk past, on their way home from a meetup for drinks or heading out for a night in dupont or adams morgan. the last time spring beckoned, i was hundreds of miles south. perhaps on a friday night right around a year ago, i had navigated the metro with paul and chloe, taking the red line and walking toward a new place to check out, a new vodka cran to taste, another slice from pizza mart to devour (with too much hot pepper, per ususal).

i was looking forward to spring at this point a year ago, anticipating cherry blossoms and visits from family and friends while wondering how to alleviate the stress weighing down on several areas. the stress was absurd - obviously not something i miss - but there were more good things going on than i was willing to admit. i think a large portion of my discontent was simply because i was (well, admittedly, still am) young and thought things had to be completely perfect in order to be right.

i know that things often take on a rosy sheen when you look back on them from a different place. i'm preparing for the arrival of another spring somewhere else. but knowing that i still have some of the best parts of dc included in my life, knowing that some of the best parts of my future are right around the bend and knowing that i'm content with things at the moment (a huge realization for me at any point, as i generally refuse to accept contentment as anything less than resignation - also a huge realization for myself), i can enjoy the sensation of experiecing a truly happy memory of a moment that must have made me smile a year ago.

i smiled when i opened my eyes and was surprised to see my back door in front of me. and felt startled when i rested my hand on a wooden porch beam, instead of the small cement wall.

that's the great thing about trying new things and being in different places. dc is still with me, even as i'm miles away. and i'm glad i have it with me.

i just look forward to seeing those small things - the tiny details that make up the best of memories - with my own eyes, sometime soon. it just makes me wonder where future springs will find me - what memories i'll smile upon in the future.