decorum

status check - amused
background ambiance - muffled shouts

when i first entered the post-collegiate professional world, everything around me was covered with a glossy sheen. i strode up a cobblestone hill to work each day, clutching a coffee or a copy of the post, staring at the gleaming dome of marble on its pedastol directly in front of me.

i was in a city clearly designed and intended to impress. and impress it most certainly did.

the hallways of my office building had ceilings so high you felt dwarfed and cold marble floors that echoed the click of my shiny high heels. at 8:30 a.m., two days a week (my early days), i took a deep breath, adjusted the volume levels on the tv and opened the door with a inviting, calm smile.

everything was designed to appear polished and impressive - which meant i designed myself accordingly. i was chatty and polite; serious and understanding. i walked the line between being compassionate and practical; i kept the space tidy and the tour pace brisk.

i sat in that office, the first face beyond the front door. god forbid a vistor walk in and hear me curse, see me gesture or appear annoyed. i enjoyed, in some bizarre way, the challenge of seeming put together at all times.

say what you will about my personal life during the later months there - i'll say little beyond what i already have. but no one can deny that i had my game face on during the workday.

the transition to my new (relatively speaking) professional place has been full of unique expereinces, but the decorum shift remains the biggest surprise. i enjoy the fact that "sexy" is jargon and swearing is part of the norm. i roll my eyes and smile when i hear someone shout across the space - and i laugh at the profanity that flows from everyone's mouths from time to time (and most definitely from my own).

in the old space, an unofficial job description was to add to the gloss - to do everything i could to help people and, through that, reflect the positivity of the office. yet in my new, the unofficial job description is to strip that gloss away and get to the core of a situation.

it's been well over a year since making that switch, but the basic shift of fundamentals still catches me from time to time. it makes me smile and feel grateful to have spent time on both sides of the balance.