hello, my name is victoria, and i am a wretched human being.

saturday night is going to suck now, no matter what i do. the one thing i was looking forward to. the gods are currently laughing at me. fuckers.

i feel a need to go running today. why is it that i cannot have anything work out as of late? every decision i have to make feels like one of epic proportions. what to do about my future. what i'm going to do this year. and this concert was what i've been focusing on throughout all the bullshit. everything's been set. i've had my ticket, i know how i'm getting there, what i'm doing, etc.

and now, two days before i blissfully travel to northampton to see howie headline for the first time since last september, one little phone call screws me over and makes me feel like a bitch.

do i do what i know i SHOULD do? or do i do what i WANT to do? i spend a lot of time doing what i should do, isn't it about time i did something for myself? my mind keeps screaming at me for even considering this.

this blows.