status check - a little tired
background ambiance - typical
year in review, compiled during the last tuesday of 2004.
most memorable experience i can't really remember: graham colton's headlining set at metronome, may 10. averi opened, with dennis replacing the out-of-commission michael. it gets fuzzy (hilariously so) once beth and i went to the bar, ordered a round of kamakazi shots and started talking to dennis.
surreal moment 1: on oct. 27, i watched the red sox win the world series in a dining hall at the university of vermont. i was one of three reporters covering burlington's reaction if the sox pulled off the sweep. when foulke recorded the second strike of the final out, each of the 20-odd people in the room groaned - it was so close but we couldn't quite believe they'd pull it off. after the toss to first base, everyone screamed and hugged - i watched the team rush the field and then bolted out the door for the victory celebration on the green. "dirty water" was piped into the night from a dorm window, revelers swarmed the green among the cops in riot gear. twice as many people stood pressed against every window, curious as to what would unfold but afraid to come out. it didn't start to dawn on me that they actually WON until much later that night, but i was able to call my dad and yell, "how 'bout dem red sox?" and hear him cheer.
surreal moment 2: hopping into my car at midnight with my father to drive from burlington to beverly on oct. 30. we arrived at my grandmother's around 4, i tossed and turned until 5:30 - we were at the train station among other baseball fans around 6:30. we stormed the trains and met up with my brother in front of the museum of science, where we stood for several hours on the curb until the duck boat rolling rally approached. any fatigue was forgotten when the motorcade of area police officers approached with flashing lights; the confetti bursts cleared just in time to see johnny damon sticking his head out of the front of the first boat with a grin, wave and flash of the victory sign. the photos taken that day remain among my favorite taken in 2004; i didn't process what i'd seen until the photos came back.*
it had finally sunk in: on dec. 2, bronson arroyo (the one red sox autographed i'd actually sought in 2004) brought the trophy to NoVo. after standing in the snow with beth and chuck for three feet-numbing hours, we enjoyed being there, but acknowledged that the disbelief had dissipated at some point during the stretch of november. but it was still neat to see.
loyal to a fault: the living room, middle earth music hall (2), nectar's, paradise, metronome, the roxy, avalon, pickel barrel. nine averi shows and two vows "never to let myself be disappointed by a performance again." "for better or worse" rings true.
"alternacoustic": pete thurston. gregory page. tristan prettyman (whom i wound up seeing four times in a series of lucky breaks). ryan montbleau (seen live twice). tides (andrew's band - seen twice and prepped as my next favorite boston band). finally see damien rice, ben folds, rilo kiley, rufus wainwright in concert. the last dispatch. the rise and fall of gavin degraw (witnessed over the course of three shows during the year), lost with the guitarist. saw again: jason mraz, guster, ani difranco, matt nathanson (2), howie day (3, including the second-dual-day day).
"ah, my people" moments: standing in a theater packed with people who knew every bit of rilo kiley's musical canon, singing along to "a better son/daughter." reading "elliott smith and the big nothing," full of its references to music i actually care about.
casa de racca: june move to the new place with two flatmates. never realized what a selling point color on the walls could be.
happy birthday: surprise! bush's re-election confirmed on my birthday. i postpone birthday celebrations in order to properly mourn; the weekend celebration at the pickel barrel is less-than-spectacular. i cut my losses and think of when i'll turn 25.
and i thought the bridges were burned: my first trip back to dc since moving is an absolute delight. as i walked down the familiar perilous sidewalks of capitol hill, the sense of relief i experience surprised even me. seeing my byline on the wall of front pages at the newseum served as delicious icing on the cake.
"stop the presses": full-time journalism job. got what i wished for.
dirty water: i make many trips; i start to make many plans.
greedy american period-abuser: i start my novel. for real, this time.
*since i couldn't sleep last night, i watched the NESN red sox year in review my uncle gave me for christmas. as i watched footage of the rolling rally, it still didn't feel like i was there, among the 3.2 million crazy people flooding the streets and river shores. huh.
12.28.2004
12.23.2004
t-minus
status check - distracted
background ambiance - elliott smith (finally bought "from a basement ...")
no matter how quickly "the day before ___" races by, that last two hour block never ceases to drag by.
my day has been a blur of running around, acting professional, showing off savvy and meeting deadlines. the time has passed quickly, aided by the consumption of several cups of coffee (buzzhehehehebuzz). but the moment 8 p.m. hit - BAM!
time
proceded
to
stand
still
despite my best efforts for distraction - gleefully cheering the news that the sox reached an agreement with JV, rereading gaiety information, listening to "from a basement on the hill," searching myspace like it was my job - the past 55 minutes have felt longer than the rest of the day.
just let it be my holiday mini-break weekend already ...
background ambiance - elliott smith (finally bought "from a basement ...")
no matter how quickly "the day before ___" races by, that last two hour block never ceases to drag by.
my day has been a blur of running around, acting professional, showing off savvy and meeting deadlines. the time has passed quickly, aided by the consumption of several cups of coffee (buzzhehehehebuzz). but the moment 8 p.m. hit - BAM!
time
proceded
to
stand
still
despite my best efforts for distraction - gleefully cheering the news that the sox reached an agreement with JV, rereading gaiety information, listening to "from a basement on the hill," searching myspace like it was my job - the past 55 minutes have felt longer than the rest of the day.
just let it be my holiday mini-break weekend already ...
12.21.2004
dozy
status check - absurdly sleepy
background ambiance - scanners
it's so warm that i just want to curl up and close my eyes ... just go to sleep ... rest for just a few minutes ...
background ambiance - scanners
it's so warm that i just want to curl up and close my eyes ... just go to sleep ... rest for just a few minutes ...
roasted, toasted
status check - sweltering
background ambiance - scanners
how you feelin - hot hot hot ...
i suppose it's better than the alternative. i could be shivering, bundled beneath layer upon layer of clothing.
instead, i'm sitting at my designated location, which is conveniently positioned directly below an air vent. due to some quirk in the heating system, my little work space has been transformed into a tropical sauna.
think of vegas - in august - without the luxury of a dry heat - while dressed for december in new england.
as i gulp down water and push up my sleeves, i remind myself that i'm much happier with it being too hot than it being too cold. could be worse - we could not have heat at all.
but it would just be more tolerable with a frozen margarita to enjoy - or something likewise blended and served in a frosted glass.
but instead, i sit here, feeling the continuous stream of hot air beat down upon my head. realizing my face has become flushed to the point of matching my bright pink ribbed turtleneck (see? winter = turtlenecks and sweaters, friends). actually looking forward to those first few seconds when i burst out into the cold after the day has come to a close. anticipating those first icy gulps of air and those first clouds of steam when i exhale.
and wondering if i can find some appropriate hot weather music to listen to as i count down those final hours.
background ambiance - scanners
how you feelin - hot hot hot ...
i suppose it's better than the alternative. i could be shivering, bundled beneath layer upon layer of clothing.
instead, i'm sitting at my designated location, which is conveniently positioned directly below an air vent. due to some quirk in the heating system, my little work space has been transformed into a tropical sauna.
think of vegas - in august - without the luxury of a dry heat - while dressed for december in new england.
as i gulp down water and push up my sleeves, i remind myself that i'm much happier with it being too hot than it being too cold. could be worse - we could not have heat at all.
but it would just be more tolerable with a frozen margarita to enjoy - or something likewise blended and served in a frosted glass.
but instead, i sit here, feeling the continuous stream of hot air beat down upon my head. realizing my face has become flushed to the point of matching my bright pink ribbed turtleneck (see? winter = turtlenecks and sweaters, friends). actually looking forward to those first few seconds when i burst out into the cold after the day has come to a close. anticipating those first icy gulps of air and those first clouds of steam when i exhale.
and wondering if i can find some appropriate hot weather music to listen to as i count down those final hours.
12.20.2004
because
status check - peachy
background ambiance -
survey follows. but first, since i was asked today, the latest in v's currents:
currently reading: reading two books at one right now. "requiem for a dream" and "elliott smith and the big nothing."
currently listening to: i've been listening to a lot of ryan montbleau lately. "begin" has continued to dominate my car stereo. rilo kiley's "the execution of all things," of course, plus my NEMO compilation - featuring syd, adam ezra group, world/inferno friendship society and the like.
currently looking forward to: a holiday weekend. boston. seeing my family's reactions to the gifts i've selected. spring and/or california in february. whatever concert i find myself at next. getting sleep tonight. etc. etc. etc.
[ one ] grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says: "Standard Code for Information Inter-"
[ two ] stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? VYO playbill tacked to the wall
[ three ] what is the last thing you watched on TV? uh ... some infomerical was on last night as i prepared to go to sleep."
[ four ] Without looking at the clock, guess what time it is: 3:31 p.m.
[ five ] now look at the clock. what is the actual time? 3:47 p.m.
[ six ] With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? people talking on the phone. police scanners (2). typing. conversations.
[ seven ] When did you last step outside? what were you doing? about an hour ago. my computer was being worked on, so i went to get a cup of coffee.
[ eight ] Before you came to this website, what did you look at? damn you, myspace.
[ nine ] What are you wearing? black pants. black 3/4 sleeve buttondown with thin pink and blue stripes. black boots. black necklace. trend?
[ ten ] Did you dream last night? nope. the first time in about a week i didn't.
[ eleven ] When did you last laugh? about a half hour ago - watching dennis' averi video.
[ twelve ] What is on the walls of the room you are in? office stuff. some shelves, with phone books, AP stylebooks and newspapers. some printed pictures, previously mentioned playbill. a couple of press tags, concert tickets. phone list. a hand-written reminder that "we are not a mulling people."
[ thirteen ] Seen anything weird lately? i see weird things every day.
[ fourteen ] What was the last film you saw? bend it like beckham. i was frightened by how much of it i can quote.
[ fifteen ] If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? tickets to cali.
[ sixteen ] Tell me something about you that I don't know: i'll put ketchup on almost anything.
[ seventeen ] if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? bye bye bush.
[ eighteen ] Do you like to dance? yep. hey, you didn't ask if i was good at it ...
[ nineteen ] George Bush: can go back to the abyss of hell he sprang from.
[ twenty ] Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? molly, abigail, perhaps elizabeth so i can call her eliz.
[ twenty-one ] imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? andrew.
background ambiance -
survey follows. but first, since i was asked today, the latest in v's currents:
currently reading: reading two books at one right now. "requiem for a dream" and "elliott smith and the big nothing."
currently listening to: i've been listening to a lot of ryan montbleau lately. "begin" has continued to dominate my car stereo. rilo kiley's "the execution of all things," of course, plus my NEMO compilation - featuring syd, adam ezra group, world/inferno friendship society and the like.
currently looking forward to: a holiday weekend. boston. seeing my family's reactions to the gifts i've selected. spring and/or california in february. whatever concert i find myself at next. getting sleep tonight. etc. etc. etc.
[ one ] grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says: "Standard Code for Information Inter-"
[ two ] stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? VYO playbill tacked to the wall
[ three ] what is the last thing you watched on TV? uh ... some infomerical was on last night as i prepared to go to sleep."
[ four ] Without looking at the clock, guess what time it is: 3:31 p.m.
[ five ] now look at the clock. what is the actual time? 3:47 p.m.
[ six ] With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? people talking on the phone. police scanners (2). typing. conversations.
[ seven ] When did you last step outside? what were you doing? about an hour ago. my computer was being worked on, so i went to get a cup of coffee.
[ eight ] Before you came to this website, what did you look at? damn you, myspace.
[ nine ] What are you wearing? black pants. black 3/4 sleeve buttondown with thin pink and blue stripes. black boots. black necklace. trend?
[ ten ] Did you dream last night? nope. the first time in about a week i didn't.
[ eleven ] When did you last laugh? about a half hour ago - watching dennis' averi video.
[ twelve ] What is on the walls of the room you are in? office stuff. some shelves, with phone books, AP stylebooks and newspapers. some printed pictures, previously mentioned playbill. a couple of press tags, concert tickets. phone list. a hand-written reminder that "we are not a mulling people."
[ thirteen ] Seen anything weird lately? i see weird things every day.
[ fourteen ] What was the last film you saw? bend it like beckham. i was frightened by how much of it i can quote.
[ fifteen ] If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? tickets to cali.
[ sixteen ] Tell me something about you that I don't know: i'll put ketchup on almost anything.
[ seventeen ] if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? bye bye bush.
[ eighteen ] Do you like to dance? yep. hey, you didn't ask if i was good at it ...
[ nineteen ] George Bush: can go back to the abyss of hell he sprang from.
[ twenty ] Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? molly, abigail, perhaps elizabeth so i can call her eliz.
[ twenty-one ] imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? andrew.
...
status check - contemplative
background ambiance - rilo kiley, "with arms outstretched"
i'm not a big fan of ghost stories - not as much as i was when i was young. back then, i would read "scariest stories you've never heard" volumes 1-265, however many there were. christopher pike young adult novels with the ghost of a teenager for a narrator and the like. i devoured them, loving the idea of ghosts and being scared.
as i grew older, the natural sketpicism grew and i eventually dismissed the idea of lingering spirits and sleeping with the bedroom door open so as to shed light inside my room (i was never scared of the dark, but if something supernatural was in the room with me, i wanted to be able to see it clearly).
every once in awhile, however, you hear about something that makes you stop and ponder. or, perhaps, you have something happen to you where the timing is so on that you have to think, "well, maybe ..."
i had one of those situations occur four years ago today. christmas break of junior year and i was back at the vacation job (mcdonald's, represent). during the evening, i was out in the back area making salads, when i happened to look up front to see if they needed my help. i was amazed to see that lexi, a good friend since early freshman year, was at the front counter.
surprised, my face broke into a grin and i started to head to the counter to say hi. i looked down, then looked up and saw that the woman there looked nothing at all like lexi - must have been my mind playing tricks on me. i went back to my salad-making, briefly thinking about how random it was that i would think lexi would be stopping into the store when she lived nowhere near there.
this occurred shortly after i'd decided to take out my tongue piercing. after a few years of it, i had randomly decided that i didn't want it anymore ... but spent much of the time thinking about the day lexi, becca and lucas went with me to get it. after my shift that night, i went home, took out the barbell and went to sleep - i woke up the next day and the hole had, as i'd hoped, healed overnight.
two completely random things, nothing that would normally have stood out (besides the fact that i no longer had the barbell to play with - which was in and of itself a hard thing to get used to). but, as it turned out, just around the time i thought i saw lexi at the store, she died. right around the time i first decided to get rid of the piercing she had gone with me to get, she was involved with a car accident.
the news didn't reach me until the next day, when my store managers told me that the rest of my shift was covered and i needed to go to my friend's house, which was within walking distance from the store. grumbling at the thought of a missed afternoon of work, i walked up to her front door, rang the doorbell, and saw the red eyes and tears inside.
so it's been four years and lexi continues to be in my thoughts from time to time. i'll remember laughing until i cried as she sprawled on the floor doing the worm. i might listen to some tori amos and remember her exasperated participation in an audio letter i made for a friend back home who thought tori was "lesbian music" - "LESBIAN? tori's MARRIED!" when i'm frustrated, i might recall our last conversation, as i ranted about not having enough time for all the responsibilities i had - "vic, it sucks. i know how it feels. there's no way to make it feel better right now, but i understand and i know it's horrible." and i'll remember how that little bit of honesty - void of any of the sugar-coating and optimism others had tried - worked perfectly.
i miss my friend, but i just smile. because that's what lexi made me do in life. and i smiled when i thought i saw her that day four years ago.
and, for one day - or in one instance, at least - i'll believe in the idea of ghosts or presences and imagine she's smiling back at my grin.
background ambiance - rilo kiley, "with arms outstretched"
i'm not a big fan of ghost stories - not as much as i was when i was young. back then, i would read "scariest stories you've never heard" volumes 1-265, however many there were. christopher pike young adult novels with the ghost of a teenager for a narrator and the like. i devoured them, loving the idea of ghosts and being scared.
as i grew older, the natural sketpicism grew and i eventually dismissed the idea of lingering spirits and sleeping with the bedroom door open so as to shed light inside my room (i was never scared of the dark, but if something supernatural was in the room with me, i wanted to be able to see it clearly).
every once in awhile, however, you hear about something that makes you stop and ponder. or, perhaps, you have something happen to you where the timing is so on that you have to think, "well, maybe ..."
i had one of those situations occur four years ago today. christmas break of junior year and i was back at the vacation job (mcdonald's, represent). during the evening, i was out in the back area making salads, when i happened to look up front to see if they needed my help. i was amazed to see that lexi, a good friend since early freshman year, was at the front counter.
surprised, my face broke into a grin and i started to head to the counter to say hi. i looked down, then looked up and saw that the woman there looked nothing at all like lexi - must have been my mind playing tricks on me. i went back to my salad-making, briefly thinking about how random it was that i would think lexi would be stopping into the store when she lived nowhere near there.
this occurred shortly after i'd decided to take out my tongue piercing. after a few years of it, i had randomly decided that i didn't want it anymore ... but spent much of the time thinking about the day lexi, becca and lucas went with me to get it. after my shift that night, i went home, took out the barbell and went to sleep - i woke up the next day and the hole had, as i'd hoped, healed overnight.
two completely random things, nothing that would normally have stood out (besides the fact that i no longer had the barbell to play with - which was in and of itself a hard thing to get used to). but, as it turned out, just around the time i thought i saw lexi at the store, she died. right around the time i first decided to get rid of the piercing she had gone with me to get, she was involved with a car accident.
the news didn't reach me until the next day, when my store managers told me that the rest of my shift was covered and i needed to go to my friend's house, which was within walking distance from the store. grumbling at the thought of a missed afternoon of work, i walked up to her front door, rang the doorbell, and saw the red eyes and tears inside.
so it's been four years and lexi continues to be in my thoughts from time to time. i'll remember laughing until i cried as she sprawled on the floor doing the worm. i might listen to some tori amos and remember her exasperated participation in an audio letter i made for a friend back home who thought tori was "lesbian music" - "LESBIAN? tori's MARRIED!" when i'm frustrated, i might recall our last conversation, as i ranted about not having enough time for all the responsibilities i had - "vic, it sucks. i know how it feels. there's no way to make it feel better right now, but i understand and i know it's horrible." and i'll remember how that little bit of honesty - void of any of the sugar-coating and optimism others had tried - worked perfectly.
i miss my friend, but i just smile. because that's what lexi made me do in life. and i smiled when i thought i saw her that day four years ago.
and, for one day - or in one instance, at least - i'll believe in the idea of ghosts or presences and imagine she's smiling back at my grin.
12.19.2004
ISO: a little bing crosby to finish things off
status check - exhausted
background ambiance - television
christmas 2004. i've managed to outdo myself without doing myself in. the holiday should be a success.
i'm a habitual last-minute holiday participant. while i annually know precisely what to get for those on my christmas list, the holiday sneaks up on me each year, leaving me breathlessly running from store to store to pick up the items.
i wasn't going to let it happen again this year. as i write this, with nearly a week until the holiday, i have every item (save one being purchased tomorrow) either home (and fabulously wrapped) or en route via mail (with wrapping paper, ribbons and labels ready).
and i'm exhausted as a result.
but the holiday will be grand, i predict. i'm thrilled to see my loved ones' faces when they peel back the layers of paper and tissue to see what i've carefully selected. i think i've done well.
after my parents finally accepted our acceptance of the santa situation, my mother started a habit of labeling gifts with clever hints as to what waits inside. the year i received a dvd of "say anything" (still one of the best movies provided by the 1980s), the label read "from: lloyd." last year's toy-sized vespa (because i'd jokingly said i wanted one) was from rocco (courtesy of "the restaurant").
i always enjoy making similar labels, but i worry if i'm taking the fun out of the game by making it too difficult. it's a fine line, really. you want to give the person a fighting chance to guest it, but you don't want to make it overly obvious.
this makes the label-writing more of a mind-racking experience than one might otherwise think. but i've come up with a collection of gifts with labels of various degrees of difficulty. some they'll get right away, others might make them scratch their heads. others they'll have no chance at. i almost wonder if i should put a number on each label, to distinguish the difficulty level of the label. 1 - easy. 2 - ponder it a bit. 3 - don't even think about it, just open up and laugh after the fact.
nevertheless, i'm looking forward to witnessing the brain teasing and being likewise forced to think early on a saturday morning. the one time i'll allow thought without coffee that early in the morning.
as i wrapped and decorated the gifts yesterday with my flatmates, we decided christmas music was necessary. as my mother owns all the holiday cds i've ever listened to in the past, we turned our cable to the digital music channels (such slaves for technology). we bobbed our heads to bon jovi, sang along to "jingle bell rock" - i even stared at the television for three minutes while the eurythmics performed "winter wonderland."
festive, in a somewhat alarming sort of way.
but i'll save the rest of my holiday music for the christmas eve drive to SoVo and, later that day, massachusetts. christmas is the drive, harmonizing to my mother's radio accompaniment to "rockin' around the christmas tree" and bing crosby's "christmas in killarny."
as for now, four more days of waiting for the holiday goodness.
background ambiance - television
christmas 2004. i've managed to outdo myself without doing myself in. the holiday should be a success.
i'm a habitual last-minute holiday participant. while i annually know precisely what to get for those on my christmas list, the holiday sneaks up on me each year, leaving me breathlessly running from store to store to pick up the items.
i wasn't going to let it happen again this year. as i write this, with nearly a week until the holiday, i have every item (save one being purchased tomorrow) either home (and fabulously wrapped) or en route via mail (with wrapping paper, ribbons and labels ready).
and i'm exhausted as a result.
but the holiday will be grand, i predict. i'm thrilled to see my loved ones' faces when they peel back the layers of paper and tissue to see what i've carefully selected. i think i've done well.
after my parents finally accepted our acceptance of the santa situation, my mother started a habit of labeling gifts with clever hints as to what waits inside. the year i received a dvd of "say anything" (still one of the best movies provided by the 1980s), the label read "from: lloyd." last year's toy-sized vespa (because i'd jokingly said i wanted one) was from rocco (courtesy of "the restaurant").
i always enjoy making similar labels, but i worry if i'm taking the fun out of the game by making it too difficult. it's a fine line, really. you want to give the person a fighting chance to guest it, but you don't want to make it overly obvious.
this makes the label-writing more of a mind-racking experience than one might otherwise think. but i've come up with a collection of gifts with labels of various degrees of difficulty. some they'll get right away, others might make them scratch their heads. others they'll have no chance at. i almost wonder if i should put a number on each label, to distinguish the difficulty level of the label. 1 - easy. 2 - ponder it a bit. 3 - don't even think about it, just open up and laugh after the fact.
nevertheless, i'm looking forward to witnessing the brain teasing and being likewise forced to think early on a saturday morning. the one time i'll allow thought without coffee that early in the morning.
as i wrapped and decorated the gifts yesterday with my flatmates, we decided christmas music was necessary. as my mother owns all the holiday cds i've ever listened to in the past, we turned our cable to the digital music channels (such slaves for technology). we bobbed our heads to bon jovi, sang along to "jingle bell rock" - i even stared at the television for three minutes while the eurythmics performed "winter wonderland."
festive, in a somewhat alarming sort of way.
but i'll save the rest of my holiday music for the christmas eve drive to SoVo and, later that day, massachusetts. christmas is the drive, harmonizing to my mother's radio accompaniment to "rockin' around the christmas tree" and bing crosby's "christmas in killarny."
as for now, four more days of waiting for the holiday goodness.
12.18.2004
wow.
status check - shocked
background ambiance - christmas music
well, it was certainly interesting to receive this year's averi christmas card.
thing have really changed, huh?
at least i loved the photo ... yay for stu!
background ambiance - christmas music
well, it was certainly interesting to receive this year's averi christmas card.
thing have really changed, huh?
at least i loved the photo ... yay for stu!
just being
status check - happy
background ambiance - silence, although i've got "beautiful, beautiful" stuck in my head
i like to keep busy. i like to be doing things, going places, seeing sights. it's been well established, through my crazy roadtrips and decisions to "just check it out," whatever it may be.
sometimes, however, a friday evening rolls around and i realize i don't want to do anything. i just want to curl up in jeans and a sweatshirt and do whatever requires the least bit of energy and thought.
such nights can be pretty hit or miss. depends on how the stars align, if you're doing nothing alone or if you have partners in non-existant crime.
tonight, however, has worked out well. i arrived home, with my "aw, screw it, i'm lazy tonight" chinese takeout and spent the evening laughing and going through memories posted online. some my own, most decidely not - which made it all the funnier. beth and i inadvertantly wandered into a web of links and blogs, straying from averi to howie to mraz to ewan to some terrifyingly hilarious music by a band i sincerely hope remains forever hidden in obscurity.
we wound up back here, reading posts from years gone by - years that feel much more distant than the calendar might claim. it was funny to see how 2001 conjures images of sophomore year of college ... all the more so when we were reminded that it was actually senior year.
beth commented on the fact that i used to write much more about my day-to-day activities back then, instead of the broader commentaries (such as they are) that i compose now. a valid observation, i quickly realized. the end of 2001 marked my last comprehensive year in review - it was almost disappointing to see that follow-ups weren't included. i was shocked to realize i did not promptly capture various phone calls in dc - including most the voicemail from burlington in early september 2002 and my disastrous drunk dial the following november (let it be stated: we drunk dialed everyone my age in my phone book, including timme - i still don't know how we got that number - and chad. this also marks the last time i actually spoke with chad on the telephone).
the concerts - those have been consistent. i can follow my growing knowledge of howie day shows, averi shows, john shows, et al. i can once again race back to the horrible feeling of illness that swept over me the first time i tried to see mraz, when i left iota convinced i'd be passed out on the sidewalk before reaching the metro. i made references to wishing i could speak again to people i've subsequently reconnected with - i described connections with people i'm likely never to see or speak to again.
but i haven't done much of it lately. i've been writing about my politics, my online findings, whatever ... but what ever happened to the days of multiple posts during an attempt at an all-nighter? my vows of "never write a paper for so-and-so again," followed by vows to "never write a paper for so-and-so again, take 2"? sure, some elements have changed - definitely no longer the college girl, instead a *cough* professional, but i can maintain some of that spirit and daily insight, right?
maybe it's just that i subconsciously believe that i'll remember more things now that i'm out of the rush of college and early adulthood (as i'm now supposedly in early-mid-adulthood). or perhaps it's simply that i haven't done anything i consider spectacular enough to document for the ages. i don't believe either argument. i know things have already slipped my memory (i just hope something jogs it back into my mind), and i've done some fascinating things since.
and i've just had my random, logic-defying thoughts, both in waking and sleeping worlds.
i had two vivid dreams tuesday night - one involved a flood. it focused predominantly on the return to my flooded car after the waters receded. i remember walking ten miles to get to the car, at which point i stood by it, furious that it wasn't likely to work and that i wouldn't be able to get to any of the places i needed to go. logic at its finest: after walking ten miles, i believed i couldn't get anywhere.
in the other, i was a student - my age, just in school. perhaps grad, but the details weren't too clear. i was at a school lounge, listening to some live music by a singer-songwriter, when i realized i had five minutes to get to class for an exam. i felt no need to leave, however, until the musician suddenly exclaimed, "shit! i have five minutes before an exam!" we were in the same class, and we raced to the classroom, our binders pressed against our chests so the notebook paper wouldn't fly onto the hallway floor. we got into class just as the professor was beginning to hand out the exams, and we took seats in the same row, one student between us. i flipped over the exam booklet and realized i needed to know everything there was to know about thailand - and i knew nothing. the musican and i each looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions, turned back and began to bullshit through each of the exams. i woke up just as i wrote that thailand's year of independence was 1962. (for the record, the following day i looked up thailand in the cia world factbook. thailand independence: 1238 - traditional founding date - never colonized. newest constitution signed by king phumpiphon on 11 october 1997.)
dream analysis gurus of the e-world, lend me your expertise.
i used to mention things like that. i haven't in ages.
can it be that i need to focus on ME more? many would laugh out loud and say that's not possible - touche, i say to you, sirs and madams. but let's face it, i'm a writer. you write what you know, you know what you learn, you learn what you remember. which means i should be able to take from my learnings four years ago as well as those four months ago.
to think, i wind up having a grand philosophical rant and debate with myself - one i should have more often - on a night when i decide to just be for a bit.
note to self: be more often.
background ambiance - silence, although i've got "beautiful, beautiful" stuck in my head
i like to keep busy. i like to be doing things, going places, seeing sights. it's been well established, through my crazy roadtrips and decisions to "just check it out," whatever it may be.
sometimes, however, a friday evening rolls around and i realize i don't want to do anything. i just want to curl up in jeans and a sweatshirt and do whatever requires the least bit of energy and thought.
such nights can be pretty hit or miss. depends on how the stars align, if you're doing nothing alone or if you have partners in non-existant crime.
tonight, however, has worked out well. i arrived home, with my "aw, screw it, i'm lazy tonight" chinese takeout and spent the evening laughing and going through memories posted online. some my own, most decidely not - which made it all the funnier. beth and i inadvertantly wandered into a web of links and blogs, straying from averi to howie to mraz to ewan to some terrifyingly hilarious music by a band i sincerely hope remains forever hidden in obscurity.
we wound up back here, reading posts from years gone by - years that feel much more distant than the calendar might claim. it was funny to see how 2001 conjures images of sophomore year of college ... all the more so when we were reminded that it was actually senior year.
beth commented on the fact that i used to write much more about my day-to-day activities back then, instead of the broader commentaries (such as they are) that i compose now. a valid observation, i quickly realized. the end of 2001 marked my last comprehensive year in review - it was almost disappointing to see that follow-ups weren't included. i was shocked to realize i did not promptly capture various phone calls in dc - including most the voicemail from burlington in early september 2002 and my disastrous drunk dial the following november (let it be stated: we drunk dialed everyone my age in my phone book, including timme - i still don't know how we got that number - and chad. this also marks the last time i actually spoke with chad on the telephone).
the concerts - those have been consistent. i can follow my growing knowledge of howie day shows, averi shows, john shows, et al. i can once again race back to the horrible feeling of illness that swept over me the first time i tried to see mraz, when i left iota convinced i'd be passed out on the sidewalk before reaching the metro. i made references to wishing i could speak again to people i've subsequently reconnected with - i described connections with people i'm likely never to see or speak to again.
but i haven't done much of it lately. i've been writing about my politics, my online findings, whatever ... but what ever happened to the days of multiple posts during an attempt at an all-nighter? my vows of "never write a paper for so-and-so again," followed by vows to "never write a paper for so-and-so again, take 2"? sure, some elements have changed - definitely no longer the college girl, instead a *cough* professional, but i can maintain some of that spirit and daily insight, right?
maybe it's just that i subconsciously believe that i'll remember more things now that i'm out of the rush of college and early adulthood (as i'm now supposedly in early-mid-adulthood). or perhaps it's simply that i haven't done anything i consider spectacular enough to document for the ages. i don't believe either argument. i know things have already slipped my memory (i just hope something jogs it back into my mind), and i've done some fascinating things since.
and i've just had my random, logic-defying thoughts, both in waking and sleeping worlds.
i had two vivid dreams tuesday night - one involved a flood. it focused predominantly on the return to my flooded car after the waters receded. i remember walking ten miles to get to the car, at which point i stood by it, furious that it wasn't likely to work and that i wouldn't be able to get to any of the places i needed to go. logic at its finest: after walking ten miles, i believed i couldn't get anywhere.
in the other, i was a student - my age, just in school. perhaps grad, but the details weren't too clear. i was at a school lounge, listening to some live music by a singer-songwriter, when i realized i had five minutes to get to class for an exam. i felt no need to leave, however, until the musician suddenly exclaimed, "shit! i have five minutes before an exam!" we were in the same class, and we raced to the classroom, our binders pressed against our chests so the notebook paper wouldn't fly onto the hallway floor. we got into class just as the professor was beginning to hand out the exams, and we took seats in the same row, one student between us. i flipped over the exam booklet and realized i needed to know everything there was to know about thailand - and i knew nothing. the musican and i each looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions, turned back and began to bullshit through each of the exams. i woke up just as i wrote that thailand's year of independence was 1962. (for the record, the following day i looked up thailand in the cia world factbook. thailand independence: 1238 - traditional founding date - never colonized. newest constitution signed by king phumpiphon on 11 october 1997.)
dream analysis gurus of the e-world, lend me your expertise.
i used to mention things like that. i haven't in ages.
can it be that i need to focus on ME more? many would laugh out loud and say that's not possible - touche, i say to you, sirs and madams. but let's face it, i'm a writer. you write what you know, you know what you learn, you learn what you remember. which means i should be able to take from my learnings four years ago as well as those four months ago.
to think, i wind up having a grand philosophical rant and debate with myself - one i should have more often - on a night when i decide to just be for a bit.
note to self: be more often.
12.17.2004
huzzah!
status check - elated
background ambiance - typical
from today's boston globe buisness section:
The Massachusetts Land Court heard arguments that it should stop a developer from demolishing the defunct Gaiety Theatre, near Chinatown. The Gaiety's owner, Kensington Investment Co., recently was issued a demolition permit. But a Gaiety neighbor, the Glass Slipper strip club, asserted it would be harmed by the theater's demolition. According to the Glass Slipper, the city zoning code allows the demolition of theaters in the theater district only under special circumstances. But, Kensington's lawyers claimed the Glass Slipper failed to demonstrate that it would be harmed by the demolition. Kensington wants to replace the Gaiety and the Glass Slipper with an apartment building. Judge Keith C. Long said he would issue a ruling next week after Kensington agreed not to take any action until then.
i've never loved a strip club so much in my life.
background ambiance - typical
from today's boston globe buisness section:
The Massachusetts Land Court heard arguments that it should stop a developer from demolishing the defunct Gaiety Theatre, near Chinatown. The Gaiety's owner, Kensington Investment Co., recently was issued a demolition permit. But a Gaiety neighbor, the Glass Slipper strip club, asserted it would be harmed by the theater's demolition. According to the Glass Slipper, the city zoning code allows the demolition of theaters in the theater district only under special circumstances. But, Kensington's lawyers claimed the Glass Slipper failed to demonstrate that it would be harmed by the demolition. Kensington wants to replace the Gaiety and the Glass Slipper with an apartment building. Judge Keith C. Long said he would issue a ruling next week after Kensington agreed not to take any action until then.
i've never loved a strip club so much in my life.
12.16.2004
the gaiety's dying
status check - disheartened
background ambiance - letterman
from my myspace rants today (and there were several):
the gaiety theatre may come down tomorrow.
the phoenix reports that a last minute injunction hearing was scheduled for 10 a.m. today. no information about the decision is yet available, but things didn't look good.
if justice keith c. long of massachusetts land court rules against the injunction, friday would mark the first day kensington place developers could tear down the theater, located on washington street in chinatown. boston's inspectional services department granted kensington a demolition permit on dec. 10.
since learning about the gaiety a few months ago, i have tried to maintain my faith in boston's logic and sense of tradition - all the while preparing myself for news of this nature. i'd walked by the building time and time again during my travels and had no idea that a theater was inside - thanks largely to kensington's successful attempts to let the building fall to ruin.
loathsome kudos would also go to the boston redevelopment authority and boston zoning commission, who have contorted city statues so as to allow the theater to reach this point. the BZC specificially bars anyone from demolishing a theater in the midtown cultural district (unless the building is deemed unsafe). questions over whether the gaiety building is still considered a theater remain unanswered, particularly since the demolition permit describes the legal use as a theater.
i've made a point to return to the gaiety since learning of what was inside - that it could be destroyed has infuriated me for months. the reckless disregard for a theater space is unforgivable - particularly when one learns of the shoddy care and treatment kensington developers have given the building for over 20 years. look at photos of the space - it could be saved and it would be gorgeous. not just another highrise of luxury apartments and a few token "affordable" housing units (and a highrise that does not conform to statutes, no less).
i'd recommend checking out the "friends of the gaiety" web site. a few photos from the exterior are available in boston galleries at my photo site (password DA36).
i'm going to be furious if i go back to boston in a week and a half and there's no gaiety to look upon. but i wonder if it would be worse to have demolition already started when i see it next or just know it's days away?
background ambiance - letterman
from my myspace rants today (and there were several):
the gaiety theatre may come down tomorrow.
the phoenix reports that a last minute injunction hearing was scheduled for 10 a.m. today. no information about the decision is yet available, but things didn't look good.
if justice keith c. long of massachusetts land court rules against the injunction, friday would mark the first day kensington place developers could tear down the theater, located on washington street in chinatown. boston's inspectional services department granted kensington a demolition permit on dec. 10.
since learning about the gaiety a few months ago, i have tried to maintain my faith in boston's logic and sense of tradition - all the while preparing myself for news of this nature. i'd walked by the building time and time again during my travels and had no idea that a theater was inside - thanks largely to kensington's successful attempts to let the building fall to ruin.
loathsome kudos would also go to the boston redevelopment authority and boston zoning commission, who have contorted city statues so as to allow the theater to reach this point. the BZC specificially bars anyone from demolishing a theater in the midtown cultural district (unless the building is deemed unsafe). questions over whether the gaiety building is still considered a theater remain unanswered, particularly since the demolition permit describes the legal use as a theater.
i've made a point to return to the gaiety since learning of what was inside - that it could be destroyed has infuriated me for months. the reckless disregard for a theater space is unforgivable - particularly when one learns of the shoddy care and treatment kensington developers have given the building for over 20 years. look at photos of the space - it could be saved and it would be gorgeous. not just another highrise of luxury apartments and a few token "affordable" housing units (and a highrise that does not conform to statutes, no less).
i'd recommend checking out the "friends of the gaiety" web site. a few photos from the exterior are available in boston galleries at my photo site (password DA36).
i'm going to be furious if i go back to boston in a week and a half and there's no gaiety to look upon. but i wonder if it would be worse to have demolition already started when i see it next or just know it's days away?
12.15.2004
can't resist
status check - weak
background ambiance - typical
sometimes
you
just
can't
not
do
it
.
damn surveys. and i've been so good about them for so long. nevertheless. stolen. steal accordingly.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. victoria
2. vickie
3. vix
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. insects that buzz. mostly hornets/bees/etc, but i've been known to freak out at the sound of a particularly large fly. i'm terrified of being stung.
2. being strangled. i'm better than i used to be, but a couple years ago, people i trusted couldn't even come near my neck with their hands. i'd cringe.
3. not necessarily "scare," but i can be easily startled by people/things jumping out at me unexpectedly. i scream every time.
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. my friends/family
2. music/theater
3. writing
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. lip gloss/balm
2. music
3. my cell phone (i know, i hate me for it, too)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. dark jeans
2. burnt orange sweater (burnt as in the color, not the sweater)
3. black boots
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE OR SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. a good laugh/sense of humor.
2. opinions - all the better if some happen to line up with mine, but i like being able to discuss things.
3. musical knowledge and/or ability. this is crucial.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. writing.
2. talking/hanging out.
3. driving.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. a trip to california ...
2. a city to call my own.
3. a backrub. something fierce.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. a & e reporter/critic
2. published author
3. rockstar (well, no, but still. it would be funny.)
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. california!
2. london!
3. new zealand!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. to put stamps on the passport (scratch that. to HAVE a passport).
2. to have a novel published.
3. to live in boston.
background ambiance - typical
sometimes
you
just
can't
not
do
it
.
damn surveys. and i've been so good about them for so long. nevertheless. stolen. steal accordingly.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. victoria
2. vickie
3. vix
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. insects that buzz. mostly hornets/bees/etc, but i've been known to freak out at the sound of a particularly large fly. i'm terrified of being stung.
2. being strangled. i'm better than i used to be, but a couple years ago, people i trusted couldn't even come near my neck with their hands. i'd cringe.
3. not necessarily "scare," but i can be easily startled by people/things jumping out at me unexpectedly. i scream every time.
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. my friends/family
2. music/theater
3. writing
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. lip gloss/balm
2. music
3. my cell phone (i know, i hate me for it, too)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. dark jeans
2. burnt orange sweater (burnt as in the color, not the sweater)
3. black boots
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE OR SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. a good laugh/sense of humor.
2. opinions - all the better if some happen to line up with mine, but i like being able to discuss things.
3. musical knowledge and/or ability. this is crucial.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. writing.
2. talking/hanging out.
3. driving.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. a trip to california ...
2. a city to call my own.
3. a backrub. something fierce.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. a & e reporter/critic
2. published author
3. rockstar (well, no, but still. it would be funny.)
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. california!
2. london!
3. new zealand!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. to put stamps on the passport (scratch that. to HAVE a passport).
2. to have a novel published.
3. to live in boston.
12.14.2004
q&a
status check - cold
background ambiance - typical
posted this on the myspace, but figured i'd open it up over here as well. i received a myspace bulletin with this whole "get to know you" thing - much like a survey without all the specific questions. the point of it was that people could ask you three questions about yourself - silly, serious, random, etc. - and you have to answer them completely honestly.
i know i could be setting myself up for disaster, but what the hell, bring it. i invite you to comment here and post three questions. i'll reply on here - and i promise to be completely truthful.
if you don't - hey, works for me - nothing i have to share beyond that i normally would. win-win situation for me. but i'd like it better if you did (this includes both those who "know me" and those i've never had the opportunity to meet).
background ambiance - typical
posted this on the myspace, but figured i'd open it up over here as well. i received a myspace bulletin with this whole "get to know you" thing - much like a survey without all the specific questions. the point of it was that people could ask you three questions about yourself - silly, serious, random, etc. - and you have to answer them completely honestly.
i know i could be setting myself up for disaster, but what the hell, bring it. i invite you to comment here and post three questions. i'll reply on here - and i promise to be completely truthful.
if you don't - hey, works for me - nothing i have to share beyond that i normally would. win-win situation for me. but i'd like it better if you did (this includes both those who "know me" and those i've never had the opportunity to meet).
12.13.2004
some stories ...
status check - happy
background ambiance - typical
... don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. delicious ambiguity ...
- gilda radner
i bought a small, square book on saturday that features that quote on the cover. a white book, with 100 white, lined pages, the radner quote printed on front in black typewriter print.
i thought it was perfectly suited to holding my first novel inside.
yes, i know i went on this whole tangent about not blogging anymore, focusing on the myspace posts and whatnot. but i find i mainly write about politics over there, and there's a whole lot more to me than just that ... besides. i love my blogger account. so i'm back again (well, back to doing both, anyway).
things are well. despite the fact that it appears pedro's heading to new york (have fun with that 10-win season with the mets, buddy), despite the snow, despite the cold that continues to pester me, things are going well and i'm pretty content. or, at least, as content as i ever am. it's always just for the time being with me.
the novel is coming along well. i'm a little nervous now that i just wrote that, as i'll get screwed over by some form of e-attack again, but hey. i'll face the potential of disaster. do what you will on the computer, demons - i've got it all backed up on paper! take that, suckas.
winter is making a slow, lethargic arrival, tormenting us with snow bursts and flurries that clear up by the afternoon. we all know it will finally descend upon us, blanketing everything in white for months at a time, but i'm actually enjoying this half-assed attempt at the season. i'd be perfectly happy if it stayed this way through april - keep it at 38, with clear skies and tiny snow showers. i could catch the snowflakes on my tongue and not have to worry about freezing. my idea of a heavenly new england.
during one of saturday's snow squalls, i treked to nectar's to catch an opening set by the adam ezra group - a band i'd apparently heard of years before but never quite remembered. i'll remember now, as the band put on a fun show surprisingly reminiscent of dispatch and virgina coalition. my percussion-happy spirit was satsified with two percussionists - during my favorite moment, adam strapped on a djembe and started jamming with them.
adam had a warm voice that suited the funky happy vibe quite well - and he performed barefoot, which i think is just the coolest thing. he also served as another example of how someone who's a good singer can be a great performer by pairing vocals with an instrument.
give me a musician over a singer anyday - yes, nail those vocals, but do it while playing something. guitar, keyboard, whatever. don't just stand there and grip the microphone.
i'm stumbling toward christmas with a sense of disbelief - it hasn't hit me that it's less than two weeks away. fortunately, i'm ahead of the game this year - just need a few odds and ends and a whole lot of wrapping and ribbon. then i'll be done and ready to bop my way down to massachusetts to revel in holiday goodness with the family types.
IMing with my brother today, he commented on how everyone in our four-member family unit seems happy - wherever they are, whatever they're doing. i thought about it for a moment and laughed. sure, there are things we'd each like to change, but he was right.
my response?
"weird, isn't it?"
background ambiance - typical
... don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. delicious ambiguity ...
- gilda radner
i bought a small, square book on saturday that features that quote on the cover. a white book, with 100 white, lined pages, the radner quote printed on front in black typewriter print.
i thought it was perfectly suited to holding my first novel inside.
yes, i know i went on this whole tangent about not blogging anymore, focusing on the myspace posts and whatnot. but i find i mainly write about politics over there, and there's a whole lot more to me than just that ... besides. i love my blogger account. so i'm back again (well, back to doing both, anyway).
things are well. despite the fact that it appears pedro's heading to new york (have fun with that 10-win season with the mets, buddy), despite the snow, despite the cold that continues to pester me, things are going well and i'm pretty content. or, at least, as content as i ever am. it's always just for the time being with me.
the novel is coming along well. i'm a little nervous now that i just wrote that, as i'll get screwed over by some form of e-attack again, but hey. i'll face the potential of disaster. do what you will on the computer, demons - i've got it all backed up on paper! take that, suckas.
winter is making a slow, lethargic arrival, tormenting us with snow bursts and flurries that clear up by the afternoon. we all know it will finally descend upon us, blanketing everything in white for months at a time, but i'm actually enjoying this half-assed attempt at the season. i'd be perfectly happy if it stayed this way through april - keep it at 38, with clear skies and tiny snow showers. i could catch the snowflakes on my tongue and not have to worry about freezing. my idea of a heavenly new england.
during one of saturday's snow squalls, i treked to nectar's to catch an opening set by the adam ezra group - a band i'd apparently heard of years before but never quite remembered. i'll remember now, as the band put on a fun show surprisingly reminiscent of dispatch and virgina coalition. my percussion-happy spirit was satsified with two percussionists - during my favorite moment, adam strapped on a djembe and started jamming with them.
adam had a warm voice that suited the funky happy vibe quite well - and he performed barefoot, which i think is just the coolest thing. he also served as another example of how someone who's a good singer can be a great performer by pairing vocals with an instrument.
give me a musician over a singer anyday - yes, nail those vocals, but do it while playing something. guitar, keyboard, whatever. don't just stand there and grip the microphone.
i'm stumbling toward christmas with a sense of disbelief - it hasn't hit me that it's less than two weeks away. fortunately, i'm ahead of the game this year - just need a few odds and ends and a whole lot of wrapping and ribbon. then i'll be done and ready to bop my way down to massachusetts to revel in holiday goodness with the family types.
IMing with my brother today, he commented on how everyone in our four-member family unit seems happy - wherever they are, whatever they're doing. i thought about it for a moment and laughed. sure, there are things we'd each like to change, but he was right.
my response?
"weird, isn't it?"
12.06.2004
temporary hiatus
status check - just groovy
background ambiance - silence
somehow, while attempting to post earlier this evening, the combination of blogger and bloggerbot made my computer start doing all sorts of crazy things and, finally, commit some form of e-self-mutilation. among the casualty of said implosion: all of my recent videos, any of the photos i hadn't already published online and, most agonizingly, a large chunk of the novel i started writing this week.
the videos made me sad, the photos made me angry, the novel made me want to cry. fortunately i have the crux of the words either still fresh in my mind or written down in fragmented pieces in notebooks. it shouldn't screw me over too much - and hey, things were going too easily on that front. back to sweating out the words through the classic use of pen and paper. viva la technology. bah.
i am, however, taking it somewhat as an omen. coupled with the fact that myspace has been luring me away as of late, i'm going to lay off blogspot for a bit. i'm sure i'll post at some point soon (i can't walk away from four years worth of posting here or at madderrain, after all), but most of my rambles will be primarily published over at my profile there (easily accessible here). i'm actually finding that forum more enjoyable right now anyway - you can get a sense of who i am a bit more and it's easier to interact. or, at least, i'm finding that people over there tend to interact more. which is nice to experience - much as this writing is for myself, it's also nice to get feedback on it from time to time.
i'm still figuring out what i'm going to do on the notebook nightlife front - i have a ton of information just waiting to be posted there. i will drop a line here to announce what i do with it.
i've got a number of things coming up - the novel's being penned and i'm determined not to stop until i've got at least a complete work of drivel finished; i may have a new blog venture on the horizon, but with a co-author (operative word: may); i'm writing about myself, politics, pop culture and everything else you've come to expect at revelry over at myspace. i'm actually pleased with some of the things i've been coming up with lately.
so head on over, say hi, drop a line ... and, as always, feel free to drop a line here saying hi or you can send me email. i'd love to be able to chat.
talk to you soon - be good. xoxoxo.
background ambiance - silence
somehow, while attempting to post earlier this evening, the combination of blogger and bloggerbot made my computer start doing all sorts of crazy things and, finally, commit some form of e-self-mutilation. among the casualty of said implosion: all of my recent videos, any of the photos i hadn't already published online and, most agonizingly, a large chunk of the novel i started writing this week.
the videos made me sad, the photos made me angry, the novel made me want to cry. fortunately i have the crux of the words either still fresh in my mind or written down in fragmented pieces in notebooks. it shouldn't screw me over too much - and hey, things were going too easily on that front. back to sweating out the words through the classic use of pen and paper. viva la technology. bah.
i am, however, taking it somewhat as an omen. coupled with the fact that myspace has been luring me away as of late, i'm going to lay off blogspot for a bit. i'm sure i'll post at some point soon (i can't walk away from four years worth of posting here or at madderrain, after all), but most of my rambles will be primarily published over at my profile there (easily accessible here). i'm actually finding that forum more enjoyable right now anyway - you can get a sense of who i am a bit more and it's easier to interact. or, at least, i'm finding that people over there tend to interact more. which is nice to experience - much as this writing is for myself, it's also nice to get feedback on it from time to time.
i'm still figuring out what i'm going to do on the notebook nightlife front - i have a ton of information just waiting to be posted there. i will drop a line here to announce what i do with it.
i've got a number of things coming up - the novel's being penned and i'm determined not to stop until i've got at least a complete work of drivel finished; i may have a new blog venture on the horizon, but with a co-author (operative word: may); i'm writing about myself, politics, pop culture and everything else you've come to expect at revelry over at myspace. i'm actually pleased with some of the things i've been coming up with lately.
so head on over, say hi, drop a line ... and, as always, feel free to drop a line here saying hi or you can send me email. i'd love to be able to chat.
talk to you soon - be good. xoxoxo.
11.29.2004
canned or dry, we neva die.
status check - sleepy
background ambiance - strong bad email
because she knows i can never find enough ways to procrastinate and otherwise waste time, michelle introduced me to the addictive, wiley ways of strong bad email at homestarrunner this weekend. which means i'm going to be going through all of the amusing goodness for the next several days. damn you - i mean, thank you - michelle.
thought i'd post something that i wrote over on the addictionspace this evening. one might think such a double-post serves as an attempt to make sure as many readers as possible could view my take on the war in iraq and explanation as to how i developed my anti-war philosophy. i would say to one that one should keep on thinking that, even after i admit that the post wound up taking a completely different tone than i'd expected when i wanted to comment on the fact that i'm seeing ani difranco at the flynn tomorrow night. i tapped into thoughts i hadn't thought in a good long while - thus feeling so happy about the writing process.
there's something about the coming show that just leaves me awed and nostalgic at the same time. the awe is the easy part to recognize, as she's the goddess of all that is righteous and i never cease to feel disappointed in myself for not playing my guitar (which is in need of a new name, by the way) more often than i do. i see her tearing up the place with her 5-foot-nothing frame and i realize the guitar is nearly half the size she is. if she can do it, there's no reason why i shouldn't get off my ass, turn off the strong bad email and get back to playing (ok - learning to play). per tradition, i'll spend the several days following the show playing my little heart out and my little fingers raw. hopefully i'll stick with it this time.
but the nostalgia is prompted a bit by ani, a bit by this time of year. the first time i saw ani, i didn't know much about her, other than the fact that lexi thought she was a goddess. lexi, then my hall-mate, invited me along to the ani show at memorial aud and i thought that was the coolest thing. so i went, was amazed and wound up talking with lexi more than i had before.
so you take ani and the realization that december's coming up and i get a little sentimental and sad, thinking of my fabulous, india-bound friend. i've been doing it a lot lately - thinking of her. the realization that it'll be three years on december 20th doesn't really register. it feels like it's been longer. she's already taken on this sepia-toned image in my mind - she's always been there, but she's also always been gone and i've always missed her.
anyway, ani. the myspace post. which officially makes this my "let's think back on people we knew until something stupid/tragic happened and they were taken away" post for the year. harsh-sounding? not intended. but somewhat fitting, you've got to admit.
------------------
an additional 420 vermont national guard soldiers are likely to be deployed in january and february, thus adding to the number of green mountain boys and girls who are putting themselves in harm's way so as to placate the chimp in charge who nestles in the oval office.
truth be told, i give credit to those put aside their own personal thoughts to follow through on what they signed up for - which turns out to be a war without purpose or solution. granted, i give even more credit to those possibly facing court-martials for refusing to go into a particularly dangerous mission, but that's neither here nor there. the fact of the matter is that there's no way in hell i could possibly even attempt to do what the troops overseas are doing on a daily basis.
i've always been about as far from a militaristic type as one could imagine - a reality that amazes me, considering the family genes. both of my grandfathers served, and my father desperately wanted to go to vietnam.
i kid you not - he wanted to go. he tried to enlist several times, but couldn't get in because his vision wasn't up to snuff. i grew up with stories of how he wanted to be a soldier. how he and his friend both enlisted - and he actually passed through the tests that one time - but when he showed up at the buses to head off to training, they said his vision was really just too poor to go. he watched his friend leave in the bus and felt lost and uncertain about what he would do if he couldn't be a soldier.
turns out, he would start a career, meet a wife and have a couple of kids, all the while reading his war books and watching his war movies. "M*A*S*H" was a household staple, as was "tour of duty."
but his daughter? i used to laugh when army recruiters came to my high school to talk about a potential future in the military. i finally told one particularly persistent recruiter that the reality of the matter is "that you just don't want me representing or protecting the united states. first roll call of boot camp? the sergent would get in my face, i'd start crying, you'd send me home. but let's say i advanced and was on active duty. you'd actually trust ME with a GUN? let's just cut our losses here and now."
that military placement test you take as a sophomore? i drew pictures with the dots. and, oddly enough, placed in the high percentiles in mechanics because of it. which perpetuated things.
a few of my classmates went into the service following graduation - which meant a large chunk of my class enlisted (hey, you graduate with 32 others, anything three people do that's the same is pretty remarkable). i figured i'd see them at some reunion a decade down the line, with wives they met during their service years and little army brat children.
and then justin died in an ambush in tal afar and any possible "ok, i'm really stretching here but maybe i'll think about not completely disagreeing" thoughts i could have had about the war's justification flew out the window. we had our reunion, but it was at his funeral. think "the big chill" without the sex, alcohol or witty banter.
my republican father knows talking to his democrat daughter about politics will result in a long debate. but he knows it's better not to talk to me about the war. it's one thing to have idealized, romantic notions about a war like those he reads about in his books. it's another to try justifying a war with no cause, no end in sight, and nothing but broken bodies strewn along the way.
appropriate considering i'm seeing the kickass righteous babe tomorrow night:
and i must admit
today my inner pessimist
seems to have got the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool-aid and manifest destiny
and we memorize all the president's names
like little trained monkeys
and then we're spit into the world
so many spinny-eyed t.v. junkies
incapable of unravelling the military industrial mystery
preemptively pacified with history book history
and i've been around the world now
and i can see this about america
the mind control is steep here, man
the myopia is deep here
and behold
those that try to expose the reality
who really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discrete
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all she wrote
background ambiance - strong bad email
because she knows i can never find enough ways to procrastinate and otherwise waste time, michelle introduced me to the addictive, wiley ways of strong bad email at homestarrunner this weekend. which means i'm going to be going through all of the amusing goodness for the next several days. damn you - i mean, thank you - michelle.
thought i'd post something that i wrote over on the addictionspace this evening. one might think such a double-post serves as an attempt to make sure as many readers as possible could view my take on the war in iraq and explanation as to how i developed my anti-war philosophy. i would say to one that one should keep on thinking that, even after i admit that the post wound up taking a completely different tone than i'd expected when i wanted to comment on the fact that i'm seeing ani difranco at the flynn tomorrow night. i tapped into thoughts i hadn't thought in a good long while - thus feeling so happy about the writing process.
there's something about the coming show that just leaves me awed and nostalgic at the same time. the awe is the easy part to recognize, as she's the goddess of all that is righteous and i never cease to feel disappointed in myself for not playing my guitar (which is in need of a new name, by the way) more often than i do. i see her tearing up the place with her 5-foot-nothing frame and i realize the guitar is nearly half the size she is. if she can do it, there's no reason why i shouldn't get off my ass, turn off the strong bad email and get back to playing (ok - learning to play). per tradition, i'll spend the several days following the show playing my little heart out and my little fingers raw. hopefully i'll stick with it this time.
but the nostalgia is prompted a bit by ani, a bit by this time of year. the first time i saw ani, i didn't know much about her, other than the fact that lexi thought she was a goddess. lexi, then my hall-mate, invited me along to the ani show at memorial aud and i thought that was the coolest thing. so i went, was amazed and wound up talking with lexi more than i had before.
so you take ani and the realization that december's coming up and i get a little sentimental and sad, thinking of my fabulous, india-bound friend. i've been doing it a lot lately - thinking of her. the realization that it'll be three years on december 20th doesn't really register. it feels like it's been longer. she's already taken on this sepia-toned image in my mind - she's always been there, but she's also always been gone and i've always missed her.
anyway, ani. the myspace post. which officially makes this my "let's think back on people we knew until something stupid/tragic happened and they were taken away" post for the year. harsh-sounding? not intended. but somewhat fitting, you've got to admit.
------------------
an additional 420 vermont national guard soldiers are likely to be deployed in january and february, thus adding to the number of green mountain boys and girls who are putting themselves in harm's way so as to placate the chimp in charge who nestles in the oval office.
truth be told, i give credit to those put aside their own personal thoughts to follow through on what they signed up for - which turns out to be a war without purpose or solution. granted, i give even more credit to those possibly facing court-martials for refusing to go into a particularly dangerous mission, but that's neither here nor there. the fact of the matter is that there's no way in hell i could possibly even attempt to do what the troops overseas are doing on a daily basis.
i've always been about as far from a militaristic type as one could imagine - a reality that amazes me, considering the family genes. both of my grandfathers served, and my father desperately wanted to go to vietnam.
i kid you not - he wanted to go. he tried to enlist several times, but couldn't get in because his vision wasn't up to snuff. i grew up with stories of how he wanted to be a soldier. how he and his friend both enlisted - and he actually passed through the tests that one time - but when he showed up at the buses to head off to training, they said his vision was really just too poor to go. he watched his friend leave in the bus and felt lost and uncertain about what he would do if he couldn't be a soldier.
turns out, he would start a career, meet a wife and have a couple of kids, all the while reading his war books and watching his war movies. "M*A*S*H" was a household staple, as was "tour of duty."
but his daughter? i used to laugh when army recruiters came to my high school to talk about a potential future in the military. i finally told one particularly persistent recruiter that the reality of the matter is "that you just don't want me representing or protecting the united states. first roll call of boot camp? the sergent would get in my face, i'd start crying, you'd send me home. but let's say i advanced and was on active duty. you'd actually trust ME with a GUN? let's just cut our losses here and now."
that military placement test you take as a sophomore? i drew pictures with the dots. and, oddly enough, placed in the high percentiles in mechanics because of it. which perpetuated things.
a few of my classmates went into the service following graduation - which meant a large chunk of my class enlisted (hey, you graduate with 32 others, anything three people do that's the same is pretty remarkable). i figured i'd see them at some reunion a decade down the line, with wives they met during their service years and little army brat children.
and then justin died in an ambush in tal afar and any possible "ok, i'm really stretching here but maybe i'll think about not completely disagreeing" thoughts i could have had about the war's justification flew out the window. we had our reunion, but it was at his funeral. think "the big chill" without the sex, alcohol or witty banter.
my republican father knows talking to his democrat daughter about politics will result in a long debate. but he knows it's better not to talk to me about the war. it's one thing to have idealized, romantic notions about a war like those he reads about in his books. it's another to try justifying a war with no cause, no end in sight, and nothing but broken bodies strewn along the way.
appropriate considering i'm seeing the kickass righteous babe tomorrow night:
and i must admit
today my inner pessimist
seems to have got the best of me
we start out sugared up on kool-aid and manifest destiny
and we memorize all the president's names
like little trained monkeys
and then we're spit into the world
so many spinny-eyed t.v. junkies
incapable of unravelling the military industrial mystery
preemptively pacified with history book history
and i've been around the world now
and i can see this about america
the mind control is steep here, man
the myopia is deep here
and behold
those that try to expose the reality
who really try to realize democracy
are shot with rubber bullets and gassed off the streets
while the global power brokers are kept clean and discrete
behind a wall
behind a moat
and that is all
that's all she wrote
11.28.2004
alert! alert! (OR peanut butter jelly, bread and butter)
status check - good
background ambiance - tv (desperate housewives - whee!)
have you seen this pink blur? be warned - this monstrosity is the embodiment of concert spoilage. a fan of the lousy slightly stoopid, this otherwise lame-but-oblivious person became the target my disdain during ss's set, as michelle and i tried to escape the wretched "we're dispatch on seriously drowsy medication" sounds that filled the orpheum last night.
why this pink-clad, trucker-hat-high-and-backwards fellow? because he was among the rowdy minions who made the staff decide to not allow out-of-state licenses without a second form of ID at the drink station - not to mention the decision to forbid a duplicate ID in any attempt to purchase. so, since i don't live in boston yet and i lost my original ID, i wasn't even able to try drinking the music out of my head. yet this guy, who looked all of 17 and probably had a lovely new fake ID? he walked by me with his overflowing cup of alcoholic goodness - and my 24-year-old-competely-legal-for-three-years self wound up directing all my faux-rage at him.
so, without even a cup of beer (which i would have happily consumed, i didn't like slightly stoopid so much), i instead stood with michelle in the lobby, watching staff kick out drunk, stoned, rowdy or oblivious people out of the orpheum during the stupid set. which actually proved far more amusing than one might think. i couldn't believe the crowd there last night ... it really seemed as if every truly obnoxious person i've ever known was cloned and handed tickets. but perhaps i should have expected it? the gramatical atrosity of slightly stoopid's name alone turned me off - i imagine that's part of the appeal for the "oh damn we're too late for the grateful dead" crowd.
why am i starting off the post on such a sour note? so i can get my good-natured bitching out of the way early. the fact of the matter is that i had a fabulous time during my return to the orpheum last night. i walked in excited to see tristan perform (again - it's been funny to realize how frequently she's performed in this area lately - thanks, t!), walked out with a mini-crush on garrett (g. love).
i went to the show to see tristan. well, truth be told, i went to the show because michelle bought me the ticket as a birthday present - i didn't know until yesterday afternoon whether we were seeing t&g or ari hest at the paradise (it was a surprise. note to michelle: good selection and thank you again!). but upon being told that the orpheum was the "venue has an e in the name, you've been there in the past 12 months and we can get there either by driving or by taking the t to a green line stop" she referred to, i was psyched to see tristan again before she returns to the west coast.
and she was fabulous - again. the set was short (as to be expected, as she was the first act of the night), but she included "guest check," "love love love," and "evaporated." not to mention a brand new song that i really dug. the slightly stoopid crowd was absurdly rude, shouting throughout her set, but she made sure to playfully threaten to kick their asses, so we were whooping for her from our seats in the balcony.
and after the whole lobby hangout episode, we went back to our seats to be thoroughly impressed by g. love. i was shocked - i'd seen g. love perform five years ago and wasn't overly crazy about the performance (funny anecdote: we actually left g. love's woodstock set so we could be sure to get over to the other stage and see lit perform. hmm. g. love's still around ... can't say the same for lit). but the set was a crazy kind of fabulous. i'd recommend anyone catch a live show - the music that doesn't come off overly well on an album just needs a space to fill, while g. love brings a legs-pumping-body-dancing-with-attitude charm to his performance. i was singing along to songs i didn't even think i remembered and falling for the funk/blues/r&b/hip-hop flavor presented.
the evening's expectations were beyond fulfilled by the time garrett invited tristan onstage to perform "beautiful, beautiful." singing along and cheering accompanied said song.
as we walked away from the theater after stopping by to say hi to tristan, i danced around a bit and realized the show was a great cap to a delightful day. after arriving in southie, michelle and i headed into the city and wandered the common, tremont, boylston, washington street and the north end. admittedly, we were limping our way to the orpheum by the time doors opened, as we were both wearing shoes not suited for distance walking (my feet still ache), but we laughed, chatted and took photographs throughout it all. not just fine holiday fun. grand holiday fun.
walking through the city, i again vowed to get there sooner rather than later. after the alcohol fiasco, i added a side vow: to go to a show there after moving and acquiring a massachusetts driver's license. i'm going to order a beer and take a big ol' swig of it right in front of the table. and laugh.
11.24.2004
pre-sleep
status check - tired
background ambiance - television
a couple quick posts can be found on my myspace account, but the past few days have been busy with rushing about from here to there to back again. i'll be hitting the roads again tomorrow night, so as to eat turkey and treats with my family come thursday.* after returning to burlington, i'll work that dangling friday shift, sleep and then hit the roads again - an encore performance of victoria in boston (due to popular demand).
as for now ... paul - "dream brother: the lives and music of jeff and tim buckley" is the book to which you referred. i recommend it - i found it insightful and interesting.
background ambiance - television
a couple quick posts can be found on my myspace account, but the past few days have been busy with rushing about from here to there to back again. i'll be hitting the roads again tomorrow night, so as to eat turkey and treats with my family come thursday.* after returning to burlington, i'll work that dangling friday shift, sleep and then hit the roads again - an encore performance of victoria in boston (due to popular demand).
as for now ... paul - "dream brother: the lives and music of jeff and tim buckley" is the book to which you referred. i recommend it - i found it insightful and interesting.
11.22.2004
to boston and back - photography
status check - tired
background ambiance - silence
in desperate need of sleep, but i will provide tales and anecdotes from the weekend tomorrow. look for a tristan interview piece in notebook nightlife by the end of tomorrow or tuesday at the latest.
as an added bonus, the first in several batches of digital photography is now available here. photos from the paradise saturday night and from the ira allen chapel friday night will be available by tomorrow night. for guest logins: user name - alternacoustic. password - DA36.
11.20.2004
lovely.
status check - happy
background ambiance - howie day, after you (thank you, digicam!)
there's nothing quite like the feeling of walking out of an interview you were super nervous about and realizing just how much fun you wound up having.
tristan was a delight - an interview piece and reviews of both her set and howie's will be on notebook nightlife early next week (probably monday).
quick summary? both were incredible. best tristan set i've yet attended, definitely the best howie set i've witnessed in a loooong time. i can't really compare tonight's set to the old days - they're apples and oranges in my mind. but he was outstanding, even managed to fit "moose cock" into the set.
lovely - cont.
now that takes skill, my friends.
and i've got video of a couple tristan songs and bits of howie's set - including "after you," the inclusion of which made me grin like a fool. no buckley tease, but i was more than content.
oh. someone actually hollered for "#41." michelle and beth, i thought of you both and laughed myself silly.
"'bunnies?' you play 'bunnies.'"
alright, sleep now. i plan to leave for boston in less than seven hours.
11.18.2004
admission
status check - sheepish, yet proud
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, the art teacher
OK! fine! i admit it! i watch it!
and know what? i'm not going to hide anymore. i will embrace the fact that i take advantage of the opportunity to catch glimpses of the album production process. i think it's a neat (albeit slightly egotistical) thing to do for those outside the process.
and dammit - it's funny at times. the frequently changing cam title alone makes me chuckle. afterhourscam, karmakamelcam, kirkcam(eron), camchowda. they're stupid and amusing, a bit over the top, but they make me smile and that's ok.
so yes. from time to time, i do watch the mrazcam. no, i don't spend every waking hour in front of it. no, i don't make screen copies. but i do watch it sometimes. OK? are you happy? LAUGH ALL YOU WANT!
xoxo - v.
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, the art teacher
OK! fine! i admit it! i watch it!
and know what? i'm not going to hide anymore. i will embrace the fact that i take advantage of the opportunity to catch glimpses of the album production process. i think it's a neat (albeit slightly egotistical) thing to do for those outside the process.
and dammit - it's funny at times. the frequently changing cam title alone makes me chuckle. afterhourscam, karmakamelcam, kirkcam(eron), camchowda. they're stupid and amusing, a bit over the top, but they make me smile and that's ok.
so yes. from time to time, i do watch the mrazcam. no, i don't spend every waking hour in front of it. no, i don't make screen copies. but i do watch it sometimes. OK? are you happy? LAUGH ALL YOU WANT!
xoxo - v.
11.17.2004
my chat with turk.
status check - amused
background ambiance - typical
copied from my myspace blog. i should note that you ought to sign up for the addictive little e-space, as i find myself addicted to it as of late and posting more there than i have here. for that, non-myspace types, i apologize. but go check it out! you can read my rantings about baseball, music AND politics!
anyway. back to turk.
my chat with turk.
Current mood: amused
or, rather, jeff, turk's representative at 916-CALL-TURK. cool fellow, manning the phones over at NBC to take calls from "scrubs" fans like myself who figured "aw, why not? i'll try calling the number."
for those not aware, part of last week's episode included turk freaking over getting the 916-CALL-TURK phone number. and, because the show is brilliant like that, when you actually call the number, you get either a voicemail left by turk (donald faison, a crush of mine since the "clueless" days, i admit) or someone who picks up and fields the call.
my new friend jeff informed me that cast members are often the ones picking up, but they were on set when i called, so he's picking up and chatting with folks.
little quirky things like this raise the show even higher in my esteem. silly? of course. but funny? most certainly. and, as an added bonus, i was able to forget about feeling so lousy today. see? "scrubs" does have medicinal benefits.
background ambiance - typical
copied from my myspace blog. i should note that you ought to sign up for the addictive little e-space, as i find myself addicted to it as of late and posting more there than i have here. for that, non-myspace types, i apologize. but go check it out! you can read my rantings about baseball, music AND politics!
anyway. back to turk.
my chat with turk.
Current mood: amused
or, rather, jeff, turk's representative at 916-CALL-TURK. cool fellow, manning the phones over at NBC to take calls from "scrubs" fans like myself who figured "aw, why not? i'll try calling the number."
for those not aware, part of last week's episode included turk freaking over getting the 916-CALL-TURK phone number. and, because the show is brilliant like that, when you actually call the number, you get either a voicemail left by turk (donald faison, a crush of mine since the "clueless" days, i admit) or someone who picks up and fields the call.
my new friend jeff informed me that cast members are often the ones picking up, but they were on set when i called, so he's picking up and chatting with folks.
little quirky things like this raise the show even higher in my esteem. silly? of course. but funny? most certainly. and, as an added bonus, i was able to forget about feeling so lousy today. see? "scrubs" does have medicinal benefits.
11.16.2004
i kinda dig the three-person crowds
status check - contemplative
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, want two (thanks, paul)
one of the best musical experiences ever, pulled out of my archives (pre-revelry archives - the madderrain era, circa march 2001):
... it was small, and i felt badly enough about that, and to make things worse, it was his birthday. i felt like a tool. but then i realized that those who were there really enjoyed his music and it was a great opportunity to hear him play and see his live show ... he was packing up when a group of four wandered in and jokingly asked if he'd play a song since they missed the show. matt pulled out his guitar and we (10 of us, i'd say) circled up in couches and chairs and he played for awhile longer. i requested "maid", and he did an amazing rendition of it. i'd say i preferred the second set because he sounded fantastic unplugged and completely accoustic. there's something about someone who can just sit down, strum a guitar, and sing that amazes me...even more so when there isn't anything electric (mics, amps, what have you) around. he also played "wings" for michelle because she missed it during the first set, which i thought was awesome.
i went searching for my thoughts on my first matt nathanson show after reading the latest mraz journal entry. per usual, a deftly worded run-through of several thought processes and events. but one particular chunk of the entry grabbed my attention - a comtemplative query about the nature of performance.
jason writes:
when you go to a show and you crowd into a room full of people who share the same idea of excitement and love for the music which you are about to see, you get that much more of a lift. you get to actually feel something. whereas, if you go to a show and only three people are in the audience, it's harder to find the energy to dance and make noise and participate in the show. it's how a musician gets high. it's what makes the show fun for you and your friends. it's what makes positive postive and negative negative, too much of one thing: a collective energy.
i give jason credit here. he brings up a very good point, and from the unique perspective of the performer. but while i think the idea of collective energy from a packed crowd is great - in theory - the actual experience of a shared musical moment emerges in those three- -- or ten- -- person shows more often than any crazy crowd.
why? call me cynical, but the packed houses aren't there for a shared sense of excitement and love for the music. they're there for the singles and the sex appeal. they're people who have perhaps listened to all of the major label release disc and think the music sounds kind of catchy. they're the ones who talk through an oldie but goodie so you get to the mtv hit. they're also the ones who stand outside a tour bus and scream for you to sign their sneakers, but hey.
the larger the show gets, the more ideas and expectations clash against each other to wreck the vibe. someone wants to hear the old stuff. someone wants to hear the tracks off the major album. someone else wants to hear the songs you've barely written.
the best shows i've attended have been the smaller ones - the ones where people go out of their way to make sure to see someone's set because they connected with the performer's sound in some special way. seeing people stop en route to the snack bar to listen to howie day's sets back in 2000. sitting in a ring nearby the fireplace to listen to matt's unplugged set. sitting in a room with the 20 other people who braved a snowstorm to hear an unknown john mayer play "not myself" hunched over his guitar.
have you ever been totally into a set and then realize the huge crowd around you is busy waiting for the next musician to come on? you just deflate a bit inside. because the crowd doesn't get it and the musician a mile away onstage doesn't know that someone out there really DID get it.
those are the shows that really get me. the ones where i feel like i'm right up there in the room with the musician - and he can sense my presence as much as i can sense his. there's a collective energy there too - but one with a face.
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, want two (thanks, paul)
one of the best musical experiences ever, pulled out of my archives (pre-revelry archives - the madderrain era, circa march 2001):
... it was small, and i felt badly enough about that, and to make things worse, it was his birthday. i felt like a tool. but then i realized that those who were there really enjoyed his music and it was a great opportunity to hear him play and see his live show ... he was packing up when a group of four wandered in and jokingly asked if he'd play a song since they missed the show. matt pulled out his guitar and we (10 of us, i'd say) circled up in couches and chairs and he played for awhile longer. i requested "maid", and he did an amazing rendition of it. i'd say i preferred the second set because he sounded fantastic unplugged and completely accoustic. there's something about someone who can just sit down, strum a guitar, and sing that amazes me...even more so when there isn't anything electric (mics, amps, what have you) around. he also played "wings" for michelle because she missed it during the first set, which i thought was awesome.
i went searching for my thoughts on my first matt nathanson show after reading the latest mraz journal entry. per usual, a deftly worded run-through of several thought processes and events. but one particular chunk of the entry grabbed my attention - a comtemplative query about the nature of performance.
jason writes:
when you go to a show and you crowd into a room full of people who share the same idea of excitement and love for the music which you are about to see, you get that much more of a lift. you get to actually feel something. whereas, if you go to a show and only three people are in the audience, it's harder to find the energy to dance and make noise and participate in the show. it's how a musician gets high. it's what makes the show fun for you and your friends. it's what makes positive postive and negative negative, too much of one thing: a collective energy.
i give jason credit here. he brings up a very good point, and from the unique perspective of the performer. but while i think the idea of collective energy from a packed crowd is great - in theory - the actual experience of a shared musical moment emerges in those three- -- or ten- -- person shows more often than any crazy crowd.
why? call me cynical, but the packed houses aren't there for a shared sense of excitement and love for the music. they're there for the singles and the sex appeal. they're people who have perhaps listened to all of the major label release disc and think the music sounds kind of catchy. they're the ones who talk through an oldie but goodie so you get to the mtv hit. they're also the ones who stand outside a tour bus and scream for you to sign their sneakers, but hey.
the larger the show gets, the more ideas and expectations clash against each other to wreck the vibe. someone wants to hear the old stuff. someone wants to hear the tracks off the major album. someone else wants to hear the songs you've barely written.
the best shows i've attended have been the smaller ones - the ones where people go out of their way to make sure to see someone's set because they connected with the performer's sound in some special way. seeing people stop en route to the snack bar to listen to howie day's sets back in 2000. sitting in a ring nearby the fireplace to listen to matt's unplugged set. sitting in a room with the 20 other people who braved a snowstorm to hear an unknown john mayer play "not myself" hunched over his guitar.
have you ever been totally into a set and then realize the huge crowd around you is busy waiting for the next musician to come on? you just deflate a bit inside. because the crowd doesn't get it and the musician a mile away onstage doesn't know that someone out there really DID get it.
those are the shows that really get me. the ones where i feel like i'm right up there in the room with the musician - and he can sense my presence as much as i can sense his. there's a collective energy there too - but one with a face.
11.15.2004
status check - sappy
background ambiance - tv news
the really good days always creep up on you.
you have a lot of decent days - nothing horrible, but nothing too spectacular. they're the norm and you're pretty content to have your inconsequential grumbles.
you have the clearly labeled "big days" - a trip, a show you've been looking forward to. some of them meet your expectations, while others, for whatever reason, fall short. but those are the days that are supposed to be great, the date circled on your calendar - either physically or, more often, simply set apart from the others in your mind.
then you have days like today, when nothing particularly out of the ordinary happens. but there are all the little pices of your day that come together to form sense of ordinary spectacle. you go shopping with your mother and get her to finally buy some things for herself. you find the perfect winter coat. you bicker and laugh as you try to fit a piece of lumber into the back of your car and you hear her giggle uncontrolably as the board hits you in the head as you get ready to drive home (there's an explanation, i swear). you burn her a mix cd of songs she really wants and laugh as you find the bay city rollers song she wants. you take some neat photos of a beautiful sunset on your new digital camera. you drive home, smiling and singing along to the mix you made for yourself, and you walk in to find your roommates wearing smiles that match your own. warm brownies and good television. more laughter.
nothing amazing happened, nothing that should set the day apart from any other. but realizing how well it all turned out - and realizing that you were happy and carefree throughout it all - you don't want to let the day end because it was all beautiful, in that ordinarily gorgeous way.
you wind up writing about it before bed, inexplicably crying because you realize how out-of-the-ordinary the day about to end was. and the people who really mean something to you - whether they were a part of this day or not - are more amazing than you feel you deserve.
you're just happy to have them.
11.11.2004
checking in
status check - worn out
background ambiance - "the daily show" (tivo!)
for someone with a particular interest in writing, i've had the damndest time with that whole communication concept as of late.
my apologies. blame myspace, as i've gotten hooked on it. again. but really? it's just a blah week and i don't feel like recording my sense of general disinterest so as to be remembered for the rest of time.
background ambiance - "the daily show" (tivo!)
for someone with a particular interest in writing, i've had the damndest time with that whole communication concept as of late.
my apologies. blame myspace, as i've gotten hooked on it. again. but really? it's just a blah week and i don't feel like recording my sense of general disinterest so as to be remembered for the rest of time.
11.10.2004
enlightened obsession
status check - tired, frustrated
background ambiance - typical
from rob brezsny's free will astrology ...
Scorpio -
According to philosopher George Santayana, "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." Let's make sure that doesn't become an apt description of you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. I have no problem with you redoubling your already-intensive efforts. In fact, I encourage you to take your dogged, concentrated approach to new levels that are unprecedented even for you. Just make sure that you never get sidetracked by fantasies of revenge or other irrelevant diversions. Stay hyper-focused on your worthy, noble goals. Show all of us the meaning of enlightened obsession.
background ambiance - typical
from rob brezsny's free will astrology ...
Scorpio -
According to philosopher George Santayana, "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." Let's make sure that doesn't become an apt description of you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. I have no problem with you redoubling your already-intensive efforts. In fact, I encourage you to take your dogged, concentrated approach to new levels that are unprecedented even for you. Just make sure that you never get sidetracked by fantasies of revenge or other irrelevant diversions. Stay hyper-focused on your worthy, noble goals. Show all of us the meaning of enlightened obsession.
11.09.2004
11.08.2004
a muck of a monday
status check - disheartened
background ambiance - typical
burlington's first snowfall is descending with a styrofoam swirl. these aren't snowflakes, instead small pellets of hard frozen fluff. they're so odd and hard on the outside that individual balls don't even feel cold when you try to squeeze them beween your fingers. i'm trying to imagine it's a cruel hollywood prank being played on already stressed vermonters - the snow's not real and it's not ready to be here through april. it's soundstage snow, not nature's.
i'd take foam snow over the real thing anyday.
i'm not ready for winter, not ready for cold, not ready for much of anything. i'm just tired and annoyed.
it's hard not to start feeling alone and melancholy when the skies are dreary and the wind is brisk. i feel colder, rougher around the edges and i have a lower tolerance level than normal. i don't want to let anyone in and i certainly don't want to start looking forward to something that will, like everything else, wind up blowing up in my face.
i see it in everyone else - people seem steelier and sharper just at the time i want someone to rub my back and let me get out a good cry. perhaps if i cry, i'll be able to wake up.
background ambiance - typical
burlington's first snowfall is descending with a styrofoam swirl. these aren't snowflakes, instead small pellets of hard frozen fluff. they're so odd and hard on the outside that individual balls don't even feel cold when you try to squeeze them beween your fingers. i'm trying to imagine it's a cruel hollywood prank being played on already stressed vermonters - the snow's not real and it's not ready to be here through april. it's soundstage snow, not nature's.
i'd take foam snow over the real thing anyday.
i'm not ready for winter, not ready for cold, not ready for much of anything. i'm just tired and annoyed.
it's hard not to start feeling alone and melancholy when the skies are dreary and the wind is brisk. i feel colder, rougher around the edges and i have a lower tolerance level than normal. i don't want to let anyone in and i certainly don't want to start looking forward to something that will, like everything else, wind up blowing up in my face.
i see it in everyone else - people seem steelier and sharper just at the time i want someone to rub my back and let me get out a good cry. perhaps if i cry, i'll be able to wake up.
11.07.2004
a resignation
status check - cold
background ambiance - television
there's that moment when you dig out your wool peacoat and put it on for the first time each season - when you resign yourself to the fact that winter's coming, whether you like it or not. all you can do is bundle up outdoors, curl up indoors, and wait for spring to save you.
background ambiance - television
there's that moment when you dig out your wool peacoat and put it on for the first time each season - when you resign yourself to the fact that winter's coming, whether you like it or not. all you can do is bundle up outdoors, curl up indoors, and wait for spring to save you.
well, that was interesting
status check - disappointed
background ambiance - silence
ok, let me clarify. for the record, if you will. i admit wholeheartedly that i was checking out michael as he stood over at the table. but i wasn't doing so with the thoughts his grandmother must have thought were going through my mind. i was noticing how much better he's looking now - and how relieved and happy i was to see him happy. it certainly did not warrant telling him about said checkout and pointing me out in my small group of friends!
that bit of hilarious birthday embarrassment aside, let me say this.
averi, i'm done. have a nice career.
it's a disenchanting moment
when you can finally say
it's just another sad example
of the basic rock & roll cliche
background ambiance - silence
ok, let me clarify. for the record, if you will. i admit wholeheartedly that i was checking out michael as he stood over at the table. but i wasn't doing so with the thoughts his grandmother must have thought were going through my mind. i was noticing how much better he's looking now - and how relieved and happy i was to see him happy. it certainly did not warrant telling him about said checkout and pointing me out in my small group of friends!
that bit of hilarious birthday embarrassment aside, let me say this.
averi, i'm done. have a nice career.
it's a disenchanting moment
when you can finally say
it's just another sad example
of the basic rock & roll cliche
11.04.2004
what's all this aboot?
status check - amused beyond belief
background ambiance - typical
i fucking LOVE THIS.
marry an american
background ambiance - typical
i fucking LOVE THIS.
marry an american
notebook nightlife update
status check - peachy
background ambiance - live howie day - madrigals/new year's prayer/sweet
notebook nightlife has been updated with links to theater reviews published in the paper, some from a bit ago, two more recently. i've got several concerts lined up that will be reviewed for it in the coming weeks, as well as a scheduled interview with tristan prettyman when she's in burlington in two weeks. and since i'll have my digital camera shortly, i'll be able to add photos to the pieces. stop on over and check out the reviews if you haven't seen them in their print form - there's a link in the index on the right.
background ambiance - live howie day - madrigals/new year's prayer/sweet
notebook nightlife has been updated with links to theater reviews published in the paper, some from a bit ago, two more recently. i've got several concerts lined up that will be reviewed for it in the coming weeks, as well as a scheduled interview with tristan prettyman when she's in burlington in two weeks. and since i'll have my digital camera shortly, i'll be able to add photos to the pieces. stop on over and check out the reviews if you haven't seen them in their print form - there's a link in the index on the right.
11.03.2004
saying thanks
status check - good
background ambiance - phone call
i sent my parents flowers today.
normally, one might think the situation should be reversed. it's my birthday, so shouldn't i be getting the flower arrangements and accompanying card?
i say no. about a month ago, my mom joked around about birthdays, remarking, "you know some children send their mothers flowers on the child's birthday so as to say thank you."
she forgot about the comment, but i remembered, as i liked the idea. so today, my parents received a display of variously-shaded pink flowers in an old-fashioned sodashop glass. a "cherry" red-rose topped it off, as did two bent straws. it looks like a strawberry ice cream soda. inside the card, i added "thanks for that whole having me thing."
they loved it, which made me happy. after all, they're the ones who should really be celebrated today - hell, they've put up with having this crazy girl in their lives for 24 years.
that is one heck of an accomplishment.
so yes. the election put a rather somber tone on the day, but it wasn't a complete loss. i awoke to a message from my brother, reminding me that i'm old. i walked into the living room to find a message on the computer from my flatmate, reminding me that i'm old. spoke to my parents on the telephone and they reminded me that i'm old. add a birthday lunch to the mix and i'm happy but ready to break a hip or something.
and hey, not everyone gets a protest of anarchists ready to overthrow the bush regime on their special day. take that.
but thanks to those who remembered and sent messages and the like. especially to beth, julie, michelle, tom, parentals and becca. you're most fabulous.
background ambiance - phone call
i sent my parents flowers today.
normally, one might think the situation should be reversed. it's my birthday, so shouldn't i be getting the flower arrangements and accompanying card?
i say no. about a month ago, my mom joked around about birthdays, remarking, "you know some children send their mothers flowers on the child's birthday so as to say thank you."
she forgot about the comment, but i remembered, as i liked the idea. so today, my parents received a display of variously-shaded pink flowers in an old-fashioned sodashop glass. a "cherry" red-rose topped it off, as did two bent straws. it looks like a strawberry ice cream soda. inside the card, i added "thanks for that whole having me thing."
they loved it, which made me happy. after all, they're the ones who should really be celebrated today - hell, they've put up with having this crazy girl in their lives for 24 years.
that is one heck of an accomplishment.
so yes. the election put a rather somber tone on the day, but it wasn't a complete loss. i awoke to a message from my brother, reminding me that i'm old. i walked into the living room to find a message on the computer from my flatmate, reminding me that i'm old. spoke to my parents on the telephone and they reminded me that i'm old. add a birthday lunch to the mix and i'm happy but ready to break a hip or something.
and hey, not everyone gets a protest of anarchists ready to overthrow the bush regime on their special day. take that.
but thanks to those who remembered and sent messages and the like. especially to beth, julie, michelle, tom, parentals and becca. you're most fabulous.
the speeches - read between the lines
status check - old
background ambiance - television
first, john kerry
I wish that I could just wrap you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you individually all across this nation.
by "all across this nation," i mean those that mattered - i.e. california, massachuetts (my peeps, represent!), new york, jersey, and ohio - or at least the ohio voters who cast ballots for me. and those who voted for me even though i never stepped foot inside your measly, skimpy-electoral-vote-touting states.
I will always be particularly grateful to the colleague that you just heard from who became my partner, my very close friend, an extraordinary leader, John Edwards.
dude, sorry about that whole being unemployed thing. that's gonna blow. whoops.
They braved the hot days of summer and the cold days of the fall and the winter to knock on doors because they were determined to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans.
the hot days, the cold days - every day except november 2.
The time will come, the election will come when your work and your ballots will change the world. And it's worth fighting for.
gore/kerry 2008, bee-atches!
and now, bush:
America has spoken
and i say this: i hate you, california.
and I'm humbled by the trust and the confidence of my fellow citizens.
i can't believe they actually fell for that whole wolf thing.
I will need your support and I will work to earn it
and if that doesn't work, i will blow new england off the continent. dumbass yankee liberals.
and God bless America.
like, for real. you all actually bought the wolves thing? no joke? PUPPETS! ALL MINE!!!
*****
seriously. i live in a nation of morons.
background ambiance - television
first, john kerry
I wish that I could just wrap you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you individually all across this nation.
by "all across this nation," i mean those that mattered - i.e. california, massachuetts (my peeps, represent!), new york, jersey, and ohio - or at least the ohio voters who cast ballots for me. and those who voted for me even though i never stepped foot inside your measly, skimpy-electoral-vote-touting states.
I will always be particularly grateful to the colleague that you just heard from who became my partner, my very close friend, an extraordinary leader, John Edwards.
dude, sorry about that whole being unemployed thing. that's gonna blow. whoops.
They braved the hot days of summer and the cold days of the fall and the winter to knock on doors because they were determined to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans.
the hot days, the cold days - every day except november 2.
The time will come, the election will come when your work and your ballots will change the world. And it's worth fighting for.
gore/kerry 2008, bee-atches!
and now, bush:
America has spoken
and i say this: i hate you, california.
and I'm humbled by the trust and the confidence of my fellow citizens.
i can't believe they actually fell for that whole wolf thing.
I will need your support and I will work to earn it
and if that doesn't work, i will blow new england off the continent. dumbass yankee liberals.
and God bless America.
like, for real. you all actually bought the wolves thing? no joke? PUPPETS! ALL MINE!!!
*****
seriously. i live in a nation of morons.
11.02.2004
one down, one to go
status check - pleased
background ambiance - johnny damon on letterman
i've been in a huge picture-taking phase as of late. after two years of taking virtually no photographs, i've gone wild with the camera and film, with various trips, visitors and adventures to document for the ages.
and for the past couple of weeks, as my family began asking what i wanted for my birthday and christmas, i've been saying that i only want two things: contributions to the "vickie goes to san diego in february" fund and a digital camera with which to document previously mentioned trip to san diego.
this evening, i picked out and ordered the lovely digital camera my parents and grandmother are giving me for my birthday ... which only leaves that whole contribution thing come christmas.
i'm going, dammit!
background ambiance - johnny damon on letterman
i've been in a huge picture-taking phase as of late. after two years of taking virtually no photographs, i've gone wild with the camera and film, with various trips, visitors and adventures to document for the ages.
and for the past couple of weeks, as my family began asking what i wanted for my birthday and christmas, i've been saying that i only want two things: contributions to the "vickie goes to san diego in february" fund and a digital camera with which to document previously mentioned trip to san diego.
this evening, i picked out and ordered the lovely digital camera my parents and grandmother are giving me for my birthday ... which only leaves that whole contribution thing come christmas.
i'm going, dammit!
11.01.2004
nanomo
status check - ambitious
background ambiance - typical
i'm participating in national novel writing month (nanomo) and will have a novel finished by dec. 1.
i'll write nothing more about it here until it is finished.
in other news, i have a new theory that i must further test out. it's somewhat exasperating, but i think i might be onto something. hmm ...
background ambiance - typical
i'm participating in national novel writing month (nanomo) and will have a novel finished by dec. 1.
i'll write nothing more about it here until it is finished.
in other news, i have a new theory that i must further test out. it's somewhat exasperating, but i think i might be onto something. hmm ...
10.31.2004
dinosaurs and duckboats
status check - beyond tired
background ambiance - live rilo kiley - pictures of success
shortly before noon yesterday, orange-vested state police gathered at the corner of storrow and the o'brien highway to block traffic, indicating to the line of ecstatic fans across the four-lane highway to breathlessly flood across to the median. explosions of red, white and blue tickertape temporarily concealed the view, dancing away to reveal the first in a caravan of duckboats, accompanied by "we are the champions" coursing through the loudspeakers. johnny damon appropriately led off, leaning out the front of his boat with a huge grin and victory hand gesture, his hair slightly mussed by two hours' parading and the persistent (yet ignored by all present) drizzle. the fat-lady-costumed woman across the street was singing, the trophy was hoisted and i was in the front row, feet away from my favorites. david ortiz was grinning, pokey smiled at my camera after i bellowed his name. i rationed my first roll of film perfectly, letting the camera rewind as we all took to the street and ran to the river by the museum of science to await the team's second pass, by water this time.
my father grinned as i bought him a yankee hater hat to celebrate this, our official "fool day." my brother got into the festive spirit and wore an smile as wide as anyone else's and i realized that these few fleeting moments of reckless enthusiasm were worth the midnight drive, the brief catnap and the desperate race to the open doors of a train at the beverly depot. even worth standing at our two-plus hour perch directly across the street from the museum's t-rex. the smiles on the faces of everyone present, captured both in my mind and on the fantastic roll of photos, confirmed the hopes i'd had while preparing for the adventure. 3.2 million people were grinning like idiots.
"this is one of those days we're going to want to tell your kids about," my dad said later, as we stood in line outside north station, waiting for the train back to beverly and the drive back to vermont.
he was right.
background ambiance - live rilo kiley - pictures of success
shortly before noon yesterday, orange-vested state police gathered at the corner of storrow and the o'brien highway to block traffic, indicating to the line of ecstatic fans across the four-lane highway to breathlessly flood across to the median. explosions of red, white and blue tickertape temporarily concealed the view, dancing away to reveal the first in a caravan of duckboats, accompanied by "we are the champions" coursing through the loudspeakers. johnny damon appropriately led off, leaning out the front of his boat with a huge grin and victory hand gesture, his hair slightly mussed by two hours' parading and the persistent (yet ignored by all present) drizzle. the fat-lady-costumed woman across the street was singing, the trophy was hoisted and i was in the front row, feet away from my favorites. david ortiz was grinning, pokey smiled at my camera after i bellowed his name. i rationed my first roll of film perfectly, letting the camera rewind as we all took to the street and ran to the river by the museum of science to await the team's second pass, by water this time.
my father grinned as i bought him a yankee hater hat to celebrate this, our official "fool day." my brother got into the festive spirit and wore an smile as wide as anyone else's and i realized that these few fleeting moments of reckless enthusiasm were worth the midnight drive, the brief catnap and the desperate race to the open doors of a train at the beverly depot. even worth standing at our two-plus hour perch directly across the street from the museum's t-rex. the smiles on the faces of everyone present, captured both in my mind and on the fantastic roll of photos, confirmed the hopes i'd had while preparing for the adventure. 3.2 million people were grinning like idiots.
"this is one of those days we're going to want to tell your kids about," my dad said later, as we stood in line outside north station, waiting for the train back to beverly and the drive back to vermont.
he was right.
10.29.2004
planes, trains and automobiles - or, the last two
status check - tired/excited
background ambiance - dave matthews band - rapunzel
so ... a whirlwind weekend approaches. tonight, i get a much-needed stoppard fix with "rosencrantz and gilderstern are dead," write a review, then hop in the car and head to massachusetts. my father and i are following through on our years-old pact to attend the inevitable red sox victory celebration together, so we'll be in boston bright and ungodly early tomorrow morning. i'm going to be on the lookout for vermonters so i can (perhaps) add a local element to wire story we'll run. i'm on the lookout for signs and vermont-gear.
through my preparation for this adventure, i found myself initiated into an exclusive society of red-vermont-hoodied people. there are five of us that we know of. i found it funny. and hell, i'll be warm while waiting for the parade, i'll have red gear on and i might catch the attention of fellow vermonters. score.
the sox are expected to be in vermont (burlington, in fact) next week to celebrate with all of us up in this area. i'm hoping against hope that it winds up happening on wednesday - thus making my 24th birthday the coolest ever. we'll see what happens - and i'll be sure to post the info once i know.
but as for now, i prepare for the kickass boston celebration - ignoring my less-than-fabulous memories of the last dispatch and how that crowd was less than favorable. this is the red sox we're talking about here. of course it'll be a great time.
background ambiance - dave matthews band - rapunzel
so ... a whirlwind weekend approaches. tonight, i get a much-needed stoppard fix with "rosencrantz and gilderstern are dead," write a review, then hop in the car and head to massachusetts. my father and i are following through on our years-old pact to attend the inevitable red sox victory celebration together, so we'll be in boston bright and ungodly early tomorrow morning. i'm going to be on the lookout for vermonters so i can (perhaps) add a local element to wire story we'll run. i'm on the lookout for signs and vermont-gear.
through my preparation for this adventure, i found myself initiated into an exclusive society of red-vermont-hoodied people. there are five of us that we know of. i found it funny. and hell, i'll be warm while waiting for the parade, i'll have red gear on and i might catch the attention of fellow vermonters. score.
the sox are expected to be in vermont (burlington, in fact) next week to celebrate with all of us up in this area. i'm hoping against hope that it winds up happening on wednesday - thus making my 24th birthday the coolest ever. we'll see what happens - and i'll be sure to post the info once i know.
but as for now, i prepare for the kickass boston celebration - ignoring my less-than-fabulous memories of the last dispatch and how that crowd was less than favorable. this is the red sox we're talking about here. of course it'll be a great time.
10.28.2004
here they are
status check - still dumbfounded
background ambiance - the standells
since everyone's looking for them ... here are your lyrics.
congratulations - see you at the parade!
I'm wanna tell you a story
I'm wanna tell you about my town
I'm gonna tell you a big fat story, baby
Aww, it's all about my town
Yeah, down by the river
Down by the banks of the river Charles
Aw, that's what's happenin' baby
That's where you'll find me
Along with lovers, buggers and thieves
Aw, but they're cool people
Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
Oh, you're the number one place
Frustrated women
(I mean they're frustrated)
Have to be in by twelve o'clock
(oh, that's a shame)
But I'm wishin' and a hopin', oh
That just once those doors weren't locked
I like to save time for my baby to walk around
Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh yeah)
'Cause I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh, yeah)
Well I love that dirty water
(I love it, baby)
I love that dirty water
(I love Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Have you heard about the Strangler)
I love that dirty water
(I'm the man, I'm the man)
I love that dirty water
(Owww!)
I love that dirty water
(a come on, a come on)
I love that dirty water
(come on)
I love that dirty water
(I'm in love with Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Aww yeah)
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water
background ambiance - the standells
since everyone's looking for them ... here are your lyrics.
congratulations - see you at the parade!
I'm wanna tell you a story
I'm wanna tell you about my town
I'm gonna tell you a big fat story, baby
Aww, it's all about my town
Yeah, down by the river
Down by the banks of the river Charles
Aw, that's what's happenin' baby
That's where you'll find me
Along with lovers, buggers and thieves
Aw, but they're cool people
Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
Oh, you're the number one place
Frustrated women
(I mean they're frustrated)
Have to be in by twelve o'clock
(oh, that's a shame)
But I'm wishin' and a hopin', oh
That just once those doors weren't locked
I like to save time for my baby to walk around
Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh yeah)
'Cause I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh, yeah)
Well I love that dirty water
(I love it, baby)
I love that dirty water
(I love Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Have you heard about the Strangler)
I love that dirty water
(I'm the man, I'm the man)
I love that dirty water
(Owww!)
I love that dirty water
(a come on, a come on)
I love that dirty water
(come on)
I love that dirty water
(I'm in love with Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Aww yeah)
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water
we are a weird people
status check - sleepy
background ambiance - typical
there's something surreal and fascinating about forced objectivity. in a normal situation, i would have been flipping out from about 8 p.m. on last night, but i instead found myself in a surreal sort of alternative world - watching everything go on through a reporter's eyes. while i spent the first hours of the red sox reign frantically writing down everything that was happening around me, the reality of what was going on failed to sink in. i couldn't let it, after all. i had a job to do.
i was faced with the same situation a week earlier, as i covered everyone's reaction watching and, later, celebrating the red sox win over new york. it was downright eerie, how calm i felt about the whole thing. the next day, i chatted with a colleague about it, who told me that it's the sign of a journalist. your mind is processing the fact that something big is happening, but your emotions are checked until after the job is done.
the red sox win was a huge moment for millions of people and i have a feeling that for many, where they were and what they were doing when the sox officially broke the curse will be engraved in their memory for years to come. while i didn't have the opportunity to enjoy a huge outburst of energy i've been building up for years, i feel like i've got something just as valuable to show for it - i can snip out the articles i've written along the way that show precisely how things were when the moments came - when the sox beat the yankees, when the sox swept the cardinals.
after an absurdly long work-day and work-night, i got home and was completely unable to do anything other than stare at sportscenter's continuous loop of baseball footage. the tears i'd seen others shed after the game started to come on several occasions, particularly while hearing joe castiglione's call of the final out. but they never really came - i have a feeling they won't until saturday's victory parade.
which leads to my realization that i am an idiot. i'm going to be at the parade on saturday, which means i'll be exhausted beyond belief, probably to the point of lunacy. i'm reviewing a show tomorrow night, which means i have to forgo the otherwise rational idea of heading to boston immediately after i get out of work at 8. instead, i'm pondering writing the review, hopping in the car and heading to the city - or to my grandmother's place on the north shore. there are many variables still in the air - my father is considering going and we might work out something so we make the trip (as we've said for as long as i can recall that we'd go to the red sox victory celebration together).
but it doesn't matter. so what if i'm tired - i'll be alert and going wild as the parade winds by wherever i am to watch it. i'll be with at least several million of my closest fellow lunatics. most importantly, i'll be there for the red sox victory parade - the craziest, most passionate sports celebration in history.
as for now, however, i'm just flat-out tired. went to bed around 3:30, woke up late and set out to buy my red sox hat (to replace the hat that i lost at the kennedy center shortly before boston's post-season resurgance). ran into my old boss, who was clad in his red sox finest. laughed with him over the game. but now, in dire need of coffee, i've got the eyes glazing over and the yawns coming fast and frequently.
but i'm smiling like a fool.
background ambiance - typical
there's something surreal and fascinating about forced objectivity. in a normal situation, i would have been flipping out from about 8 p.m. on last night, but i instead found myself in a surreal sort of alternative world - watching everything go on through a reporter's eyes. while i spent the first hours of the red sox reign frantically writing down everything that was happening around me, the reality of what was going on failed to sink in. i couldn't let it, after all. i had a job to do.
i was faced with the same situation a week earlier, as i covered everyone's reaction watching and, later, celebrating the red sox win over new york. it was downright eerie, how calm i felt about the whole thing. the next day, i chatted with a colleague about it, who told me that it's the sign of a journalist. your mind is processing the fact that something big is happening, but your emotions are checked until after the job is done.
the red sox win was a huge moment for millions of people and i have a feeling that for many, where they were and what they were doing when the sox officially broke the curse will be engraved in their memory for years to come. while i didn't have the opportunity to enjoy a huge outburst of energy i've been building up for years, i feel like i've got something just as valuable to show for it - i can snip out the articles i've written along the way that show precisely how things were when the moments came - when the sox beat the yankees, when the sox swept the cardinals.
after an absurdly long work-day and work-night, i got home and was completely unable to do anything other than stare at sportscenter's continuous loop of baseball footage. the tears i'd seen others shed after the game started to come on several occasions, particularly while hearing joe castiglione's call of the final out. but they never really came - i have a feeling they won't until saturday's victory parade.
which leads to my realization that i am an idiot. i'm going to be at the parade on saturday, which means i'll be exhausted beyond belief, probably to the point of lunacy. i'm reviewing a show tomorrow night, which means i have to forgo the otherwise rational idea of heading to boston immediately after i get out of work at 8. instead, i'm pondering writing the review, hopping in the car and heading to the city - or to my grandmother's place on the north shore. there are many variables still in the air - my father is considering going and we might work out something so we make the trip (as we've said for as long as i can recall that we'd go to the red sox victory celebration together).
but it doesn't matter. so what if i'm tired - i'll be alert and going wild as the parade winds by wherever i am to watch it. i'll be with at least several million of my closest fellow lunatics. most importantly, i'll be there for the red sox victory parade - the craziest, most passionate sports celebration in history.
as for now, however, i'm just flat-out tired. went to bed around 3:30, woke up late and set out to buy my red sox hat (to replace the hat that i lost at the kennedy center shortly before boston's post-season resurgance). ran into my old boss, who was clad in his red sox finest. laughed with him over the game. but now, in dire need of coffee, i've got the eyes glazing over and the yawns coming fast and frequently.
but i'm smiling like a fool.
curse - reversed.
status check - in shock
background ambiance - tv (sportscenter)
i know it may seem foolish. overdramatic. sappy.
i don't care.
the one team i have loved my entire life just won the world series. the one team that is NEVER supposed to win.
i'm alternately elated and dumbfounded. it doesn't seem like it actually happened - that i was actually covering the burlington celebration that followed. that i was able to call my father and yell "how bout dem red sox?"
it's the first time the sox have won a world series in my life and either of my parent's lives. the first time in my grandmother's life. my other three grandparents lived and died without a series win.
i'm almost afraid to go to sleep because i fear that i'll wake up and realize tonight was just a dream.
i don't think boston will have ever looked quite as beautiful as it will when i see it this weekend.
background ambiance - tv (sportscenter)
i know it may seem foolish. overdramatic. sappy.
i don't care.
the one team i have loved my entire life just won the world series. the one team that is NEVER supposed to win.
i'm alternately elated and dumbfounded. it doesn't seem like it actually happened - that i was actually covering the burlington celebration that followed. that i was able to call my father and yell "how bout dem red sox?"
it's the first time the sox have won a world series in my life and either of my parent's lives. the first time in my grandmother's life. my other three grandparents lived and died without a series win.
i'm almost afraid to go to sleep because i fear that i'll wake up and realize tonight was just a dream.
i don't think boston will have ever looked quite as beautiful as it will when i see it this weekend.
10.27.2004
top of 6
status check - so nervous
background ambiance - keyboard clicking, baseball chatting
this morning, i woke up with a headache. i've been jittery and nervous all day. it's been a full 180 from my calm composure of the last four gamedays.
the scene around town? an eerie kind of calm. it feels as if every red sox fan is holding his or her breath, afraid to blow the whole house of post-season cards away. i can only wonder how it will be at that moment of collective release.
it's only gotten worse after the game started. the headache's gone - a bunch of tylenol works wonders. but it's starting to look like maybe ...
i can't even finish the thought. i just have to keep on watching.
come on, guys!
background ambiance - keyboard clicking, baseball chatting
this morning, i woke up with a headache. i've been jittery and nervous all day. it's been a full 180 from my calm composure of the last four gamedays.
the scene around town? an eerie kind of calm. it feels as if every red sox fan is holding his or her breath, afraid to blow the whole house of post-season cards away. i can only wonder how it will be at that moment of collective release.
it's only gotten worse after the game started. the headache's gone - a bunch of tylenol works wonders. but it's starting to look like maybe ...
i can't even finish the thought. i just have to keep on watching.
come on, guys!
reverse the curse
status check - nervous
background ambiance - everyone's talking red sox
this just makes me grin like a fool.
go sox!
background ambiance - everyone's talking red sox
this just makes me grin like a fool.
go sox!
10.26.2004
c'mon ...
status check - so pleased
background ambiance - post-game coverage
one.
more.
game.
c'mon guys ... let me feel like i can buy another red sox hat and not jinx things. let me feel like i should be making a trip to boston this weekend.
because i will if you keep up your end of the bargain. i want to celebrate.
i think i figured out the perfect potential halloween costume. the funny thing is that there are only three small items i would need to buy.
but i'd love to not need a costume come sunday ... i'd rather be reveling ...
background ambiance - post-game coverage
one.
more.
game.
c'mon guys ... let me feel like i can buy another red sox hat and not jinx things. let me feel like i should be making a trip to boston this weekend.
because i will if you keep up your end of the bargain. i want to celebrate.
i think i figured out the perfect potential halloween costume. the funny thing is that there are only three small items i would need to buy.
but i'd love to not need a costume come sunday ... i'd rather be reveling ...
10.25.2004
YIPPEE!
status check - thrilled!
background ambiance - who cares?
the whole trizzy p uvm thing?
opening for howie day!
background ambiance - who cares?
the whole trizzy p uvm thing?
opening for howie day!
in.
status check - anxious
background ambiance - typical afternoon
it's in.
it's done.
there's nothing else i can do to change things or better my odds.
which means, naturally, that i'm going to be thinking about the damn thing for about three weeks - going nuts the entire time.
why did i never get that whole "wait and see" thing down? was there some lesson i missed along the way that taught everyone else to be patient and trust in that which they've already done? if so, i most certainly was missing in action for it.
but it's done and in -- that alone says something. i was able to pull it together and send it out - every necessary piece included.
so now i wait.
and, yes, agonize.
background ambiance - typical afternoon
it's in.
it's done.
there's nothing else i can do to change things or better my odds.
which means, naturally, that i'm going to be thinking about the damn thing for about three weeks - going nuts the entire time.
why did i never get that whole "wait and see" thing down? was there some lesson i missed along the way that taught everyone else to be patient and trust in that which they've already done? if so, i most certainly was missing in action for it.
but it's done and in -- that alone says something. i was able to pull it together and send it out - every necessary piece included.
so now i wait.
and, yes, agonize.
the trizzy p connection
status check - delightedly surprised!
background ambiance - silence
whoa! i go from never seeing tristan live to being able to see her three times within three and a half months!
tristan prettyman - nov. 19 - university of vermont - burlington
now will certain other musicians from the same area as ms. p please take note and get their californian butts out here? hmmm????
background ambiance - silence
whoa! i go from never seeing tristan live to being able to see her three times within three and a half months!
tristan prettyman - nov. 19 - university of vermont - burlington
now will certain other musicians from the same area as ms. p please take note and get their californian butts out here? hmmm????
10.24.2004
grown-up kids
status check - good
background ambiance - sox game
sometimes you need to be able to see yourself through the eyes of someone else to realize how you should see yourself more often than you do.
spent the day showing burlington to my 11-year-old cousin chloe (not to be confused with either my dc roommate or "arcadia" character, both of the same name), while also spending some good-natured teasing time with my parents. they brought her up for the afternoon to give her the chance to hang out with me and experience a different scene than her typical way-southern vermont environment.
it was a delightful experience for all involved. chloe clearly loved hanging out with the grown-ups, and we (i include myself in the grown-up group quite loosely) got a kick out of playing around more than usual. we didn't do anything particularly spectacular - just wandered, really - but everyone was in high spirits and peppered the experience with jokes and stories.
what really touched me about the experience, however, was looking through the sunday paper while savoring ben & jerry's goodness at the scoop shop. i was showing my story to the folks when chloe asked if she could have the copy. later, she asked for a picture of me and said she wanted to cut out the story, mount it on paper, add the picture and show it to her friends and have it in her room.
i was touched - it was just a story about a superintendent, but she seemed so excited to see her cousin's story in the paper. and she later took my arm and told me that i'm the coolest cousin ever and that she can't wait to see me again soon. i promised her that we'd get to hang out again soon and that we'd figure out a way to get her back up to burlington to spend some more cousin time together.
i flashed back to being her age at various family reunions, fascinated by my older cousins who just seemed so mature and with it. i loved it when they'd hang out with me at these functions, playing around or asking about my life.
i never thought i'd wind up ranking in that category in someone else's eyes - let alone a young lady who's turned into quite the cool girl. i can't believe how quickly she's grown up - i can't even imagine how i'll deal with such a sensation when it's a child of my own (and i can't believe i just said that).
it was just a delightful end to the weekend - i had just wrapped up the surreal, anticlimactic experience of an alumni reunion weekend and, thankfully, was able to enjoy the surreal, unexpected experience of a family reunion afternoon.
tomorrow - sending in the fellowship application. think good thoughts.
tonight - revel in the fact that boston's up 2-0 in the world series. go sox - you're making me proud! safe travels to st. louis ...
background ambiance - sox game
sometimes you need to be able to see yourself through the eyes of someone else to realize how you should see yourself more often than you do.
spent the day showing burlington to my 11-year-old cousin chloe (not to be confused with either my dc roommate or "arcadia" character, both of the same name), while also spending some good-natured teasing time with my parents. they brought her up for the afternoon to give her the chance to hang out with me and experience a different scene than her typical way-southern vermont environment.
it was a delightful experience for all involved. chloe clearly loved hanging out with the grown-ups, and we (i include myself in the grown-up group quite loosely) got a kick out of playing around more than usual. we didn't do anything particularly spectacular - just wandered, really - but everyone was in high spirits and peppered the experience with jokes and stories.
what really touched me about the experience, however, was looking through the sunday paper while savoring ben & jerry's goodness at the scoop shop. i was showing my story to the folks when chloe asked if she could have the copy. later, she asked for a picture of me and said she wanted to cut out the story, mount it on paper, add the picture and show it to her friends and have it in her room.
i was touched - it was just a story about a superintendent, but she seemed so excited to see her cousin's story in the paper. and she later took my arm and told me that i'm the coolest cousin ever and that she can't wait to see me again soon. i promised her that we'd get to hang out again soon and that we'd figure out a way to get her back up to burlington to spend some more cousin time together.
i flashed back to being her age at various family reunions, fascinated by my older cousins who just seemed so mature and with it. i loved it when they'd hang out with me at these functions, playing around or asking about my life.
i never thought i'd wind up ranking in that category in someone else's eyes - let alone a young lady who's turned into quite the cool girl. i can't believe how quickly she's grown up - i can't even imagine how i'll deal with such a sensation when it's a child of my own (and i can't believe i just said that).
it was just a delightful end to the weekend - i had just wrapped up the surreal, anticlimactic experience of an alumni reunion weekend and, thankfully, was able to enjoy the surreal, unexpected experience of a family reunion afternoon.
tomorrow - sending in the fellowship application. think good thoughts.
tonight - revel in the fact that boston's up 2-0 in the world series. go sox - you're making me proud! safe travels to st. louis ...
10.22.2004
i want candy
status check - slightly shallowly smitten
background ambiance - work
eye candy kind of crushes are the best of the bunch.
while a crush is in the eye candy stage, you don't have to think about anything. you see crush. crush looks great. you drool. crush leaves plane of vision. you resume your previously scheduled activities.
you don't worry about anything else, you don't spend hours of your life thinking about him. you just see him when you see him and don't think about him the rest of the time (with the exception being those few post-run-in moments when you wind up cryptically writing about him). stress-free, and no need to get to KNOW the person, no extensive conversation. that would ruin the fabulous relationship you have already established (that being the entirely selfish drooler/droolee relationship). when you have a perfect illusion, you don't want reality to come in and fracture the whole thing.
i know, i'm oversimplifying. E.C. (eye candy) could be - hell, seems to be - a fantastic person. incredibly cool, actually. but A) i'm shy, B) he seems quiet. and i've done the whole "get to know your eye candy" thing before. it was fun - and a hell of an ego boost - to spend time with this previous eye candy, but it wound up doing a hell of a number on the image i'd created in my mind.
so, for now, i'm just going to sit back and enjoy this view. and giggle to myself. because let's face it, no crush (no matter now shallow and self-serving) comes without at least a silent case of giggles.
background ambiance - work
eye candy kind of crushes are the best of the bunch.
while a crush is in the eye candy stage, you don't have to think about anything. you see crush. crush looks great. you drool. crush leaves plane of vision. you resume your previously scheduled activities.
you don't worry about anything else, you don't spend hours of your life thinking about him. you just see him when you see him and don't think about him the rest of the time (with the exception being those few post-run-in moments when you wind up cryptically writing about him). stress-free, and no need to get to KNOW the person, no extensive conversation. that would ruin the fabulous relationship you have already established (that being the entirely selfish drooler/droolee relationship). when you have a perfect illusion, you don't want reality to come in and fracture the whole thing.
i know, i'm oversimplifying. E.C. (eye candy) could be - hell, seems to be - a fantastic person. incredibly cool, actually. but A) i'm shy, B) he seems quiet. and i've done the whole "get to know your eye candy" thing before. it was fun - and a hell of an ego boost - to spend time with this previous eye candy, but it wound up doing a hell of a number on the image i'd created in my mind.
so, for now, i'm just going to sit back and enjoy this view. and giggle to myself. because let's face it, no crush (no matter now shallow and self-serving) comes without at least a silent case of giggles.
10.21.2004
oy. or ugh. either way, i need a hug.
status check - bone-weary tired
background ambiance - rilo kiley - "with arms outstretched"
this morning, i sat in a seat among people i'd never normally be around* - teachers, teachers and more teachers - to listen to my former boss give a keynote address. i thought it would be funny and tricksy of me to go with one of my teacher friends and actually take advantage of that "open to the public" caveat they always stick on at the end of event announcements - but never expect to have to put into effect.
turns out my former bossman proved even tricksier. because as i'm sitting there, playing teacher girl and whatnot, he starts talking about the game last night and specifically mentions that he's not sure if anyone read (insert my nickname and last name)'s story in the paper today, but ...
it was like dozing off in a class and jolting awake because the professor calls on you to answer a question. just freakishly unexpected. why the hell would my name come up at a teachers' convention? becca laughed that she's never seen my face that red in all the years she's known me.
had to call him on it after he spoke - it was great to be able to say hello and laugh with the fellow. i know i'm biased (as one will often be after working oneself silly for someone else), but the bossman (who will always be referred to as the bossman, even when it's been decades since i worked for him)is simply the best.
but now ... so tired. want to sleep. until next tuesday. three hours left ... i can make it.
i think.
background ambiance - rilo kiley - "with arms outstretched"
this morning, i sat in a seat among people i'd never normally be around* - teachers, teachers and more teachers - to listen to my former boss give a keynote address. i thought it would be funny and tricksy of me to go with one of my teacher friends and actually take advantage of that "open to the public" caveat they always stick on at the end of event announcements - but never expect to have to put into effect.
turns out my former bossman proved even tricksier. because as i'm sitting there, playing teacher girl and whatnot, he starts talking about the game last night and specifically mentions that he's not sure if anyone read (insert my nickname and last name)'s story in the paper today, but ...
it was like dozing off in a class and jolting awake because the professor calls on you to answer a question. just freakishly unexpected. why the hell would my name come up at a teachers' convention? becca laughed that she's never seen my face that red in all the years she's known me.
had to call him on it after he spoke - it was great to be able to say hello and laugh with the fellow. i know i'm biased (as one will often be after working oneself silly for someone else), but the bossman (who will always be referred to as the bossman, even when it's been decades since i worked for him)is simply the best.
but now ... so tired. want to sleep. until next tuesday. three hours left ... i can make it.
i think.
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