i kinda dig the three-person crowds

status check - contemplative
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, want two (thanks, paul)

one of the best musical experiences ever, pulled out of my archives (pre-revelry archives - the madderrain era, circa march 2001):

... it was small, and i felt badly enough about that, and to make things worse, it was his birthday. i felt like a tool. but then i realized that those who were there really enjoyed his music and it was a great opportunity to hear him play and see his live show ... he was packing up when a group of four wandered in and jokingly asked if he'd play a song since they missed the show. matt pulled out his guitar and we (10 of us, i'd say) circled up in couches and chairs and he played for awhile longer. i requested "maid", and he did an amazing rendition of it. i'd say i preferred the second set because he sounded fantastic unplugged and completely accoustic. there's something about someone who can just sit down, strum a guitar, and sing that amazes me...even more so when there isn't anything electric (mics, amps, what have you) around. he also played "wings" for michelle because she missed it during the first set, which i thought was awesome.

i went searching for my thoughts on my first matt nathanson show after reading the latest mraz journal entry. per usual, a deftly worded run-through of several thought processes and events. but one particular chunk of the entry grabbed my attention - a comtemplative query about the nature of performance.

jason writes:
when you go to a show and you crowd into a room full of people who share the same idea of excitement and love for the music which you are about to see, you get that much more of a lift. you get to actually feel something. whereas, if you go to a show and only three people are in the audience, it's harder to find the energy to dance and make noise and participate in the show. it's how a musician gets high. it's what makes the show fun for you and your friends. it's what makes positive postive and negative negative, too much of one thing: a collective energy.

i give jason credit here. he brings up a very good point, and from the unique perspective of the performer. but while i think the idea of collective energy from a packed crowd is great - in theory - the actual experience of a shared musical moment emerges in those three- -- or ten- -- person shows more often than any crazy crowd.

why? call me cynical, but the packed houses aren't there for a shared sense of excitement and love for the music. they're there for the singles and the sex appeal. they're people who have perhaps listened to all of the major label release disc and think the music sounds kind of catchy. they're the ones who talk through an oldie but goodie so you get to the mtv hit. they're also the ones who stand outside a tour bus and scream for you to sign their sneakers, but hey.

the larger the show gets, the more ideas and expectations clash against each other to wreck the vibe. someone wants to hear the old stuff. someone wants to hear the tracks off the major album. someone else wants to hear the songs you've barely written.

the best shows i've attended have been the smaller ones - the ones where people go out of their way to make sure to see someone's set because they connected with the performer's sound in some special way. seeing people stop en route to the snack bar to listen to howie day's sets back in 2000. sitting in a ring nearby the fireplace to listen to matt's unplugged set. sitting in a room with the 20 other people who braved a snowstorm to hear an unknown john mayer play "not myself" hunched over his guitar.

have you ever been totally into a set and then realize the huge crowd around you is busy waiting for the next musician to come on? you just deflate a bit inside. because the crowd doesn't get it and the musician a mile away onstage doesn't know that someone out there really DID get it.

those are the shows that really get me. the ones where i feel like i'm right up there in the room with the musician - and he can sense my presence as much as i can sense his. there's a collective energy there too - but one with a face.