we are a weird people

status check - sleepy
background ambiance - typical

there's something surreal and fascinating about forced objectivity. in a normal situation, i would have been flipping out from about 8 p.m. on last night, but i instead found myself in a surreal sort of alternative world - watching everything go on through a reporter's eyes. while i spent the first hours of the red sox reign frantically writing down everything that was happening around me, the reality of what was going on failed to sink in. i couldn't let it, after all. i had a job to do.

i was faced with the same situation a week earlier, as i covered everyone's reaction watching and, later, celebrating the red sox win over new york. it was downright eerie, how calm i felt about the whole thing. the next day, i chatted with a colleague about it, who told me that it's the sign of a journalist. your mind is processing the fact that something big is happening, but your emotions are checked until after the job is done.

the red sox win was a huge moment for millions of people and i have a feeling that for many, where they were and what they were doing when the sox officially broke the curse will be engraved in their memory for years to come. while i didn't have the opportunity to enjoy a huge outburst of energy i've been building up for years, i feel like i've got something just as valuable to show for it - i can snip out the articles i've written along the way that show precisely how things were when the moments came - when the sox beat the yankees, when the sox swept the cardinals.

after an absurdly long work-day and work-night, i got home and was completely unable to do anything other than stare at sportscenter's continuous loop of baseball footage. the tears i'd seen others shed after the game started to come on several occasions, particularly while hearing joe castiglione's call of the final out. but they never really came - i have a feeling they won't until saturday's victory parade.

which leads to my realization that i am an idiot. i'm going to be at the parade on saturday, which means i'll be exhausted beyond belief, probably to the point of lunacy. i'm reviewing a show tomorrow night, which means i have to forgo the otherwise rational idea of heading to boston immediately after i get out of work at 8. instead, i'm pondering writing the review, hopping in the car and heading to the city - or to my grandmother's place on the north shore. there are many variables still in the air - my father is considering going and we might work out something so we make the trip (as we've said for as long as i can recall that we'd go to the red sox victory celebration together).

but it doesn't matter. so what if i'm tired - i'll be alert and going wild as the parade winds by wherever i am to watch it. i'll be with at least several million of my closest fellow lunatics. most importantly, i'll be there for the red sox victory parade - the craziest, most passionate sports celebration in history.

as for now, however, i'm just flat-out tired. went to bed around 3:30, woke up late and set out to buy my red sox hat (to replace the hat that i lost at the kennedy center shortly before boston's post-season resurgance). ran into my old boss, who was clad in his red sox finest. laughed with him over the game. but now, in dire need of coffee, i've got the eyes glazing over and the yawns coming fast and frequently.

but i'm smiling like a fool.