surreal

status check - dazed, sleepy
background ambiance - "the west wing" season premiere

can't sleep. should sleep, but it's not happening yet. i'll kick myself for this in the morning, but hey. spent my wide-awake hours watching last season's season finale and this season's season premiere of "the west wing." the josh/donna thing is going to get drawn out to an absurd degree, but let's face it. we know i'm hooked on it and i'll be following it the whole way. the reference to the vermont delegation cracked me up and made me feel like i was back on my former "hey, it's the weekly sign i'm supposed to be an extra on the show" track. who knows.

like most in this so-called red sox nation (a monkier i'm still not crazy about), i still can't believe the team's going to the series, but more so, i can't believe how calm i felt watching the game. i spent six of these games talking to the television, shouting and yelling - afraid to look for parts of the games, unable to look away for other parts. and maybe it was just that i was in work mode tonight or something, but it was just happening and i felt completely certain that it would work out the way i hoped. i was quiet throughout the game, letting whichever person i was speaking to get loud and crazy enough for the both of us.

i was five the last time boston played in the world series. i don't remember much about it, although i remember just knowing that they were going to win. how could they not? they were my red sox and they had my favorite player in the entire world - bill buckner.

yep, billy b was my boy. funny to think of now.

but here i am, 18 years later, waiting for the inevitable explosion of giddiness that will occur when it really dawns on me what happened tonight. perhaps i'm being overly romantic about my particular circumstances with this game seven, but i'm just so glad i was able to write about it. i'll be clipping out this story and making sure to save it - so years from now, i can look at it and remember how it was, where i was, how i felt when that last out was recorded. sure, the story is about other people, but i was able to write about those people with my voice - so it's kind of like i was writing about myself.

simply a side of myself no one else was able to see during the game. and i like knowing that. it's a good feeling.