there's a reason why they didn't call it "yankee land"

status check - peachy
background ambiance - the postal service - nothing better

someone at n+1 has come up with a brilliant suggestion. here here, i say ...

No more electoral college; no more red, blue, swing; no more U.S.A. I don’t mean to sound alarmist but this thing isn’t working. I propose 7 new states carved from the existing Republic. They can maintain a loose alliance, though without the obligation to support each other in foreign entanglements. Global dominance can now be ceded to the EU—it hasn’t gone that well for us anyway. The borders of our new states should be porous. After age 18 adults have the option of crossing the border to pursue their happiness as their political and cultural leanings compel them (how it is right now more or less, minus a failed experiment called the federal government). So, the new states:

Red Sox Nation
Composite states: Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland (including Washington, D.C.), Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Wisconsin
Capital: Boston
Form of government: Social democracy
First head of state: Howard Dean
Sox fans enjoy state-provided healthcare, free higher education, the option of gay marriage, abortion on demand, without apology, and continue to serve as the world’s leading providers of financial and media services. Budget caps are imposed on the Yankees of New York. The sanest of the new states (despite its sometimes shrill executive), Sox Nation boasts no standing armed forces of its own but controls the former American nuclear arsenal by remote control. Also, Pedro still throws pitches at people’s heads.

Nirvanistan
Composite states: California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington
Capital: Seattle
Form of government: Narco-syndicalism
First head of state: Arnold Schwartzenegger
Free of the burdens of national political ambitions, Arnold legalizes marijuana, and the cash crop revitalizes Pacifica’s economy, as the new dealers synergize with Silicon Alley to sell their grass globally.

CRINGE (Christian Republic in God’s Embrace)
Composite states: Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, and all those other currently red ones in the South and the middle, plus Alaska.
Capital: Austin
Form of government: Democratic theocracy (everybody votes for God)
First head of state: God, as told to George W. Bush
We been praying a lot and working hard. Just us folks down here, believe in God, and don’t have sex if we ain’t married. Laying off the booze, dried out the whole Republic. Damn that moonshine. Devil’s concoction. Overturned that Dred Scott decision, we did. Got ourselves a culture of life and an ownership society in these parts. How can you have a culture or a society anyway if nobody’s alive and nobody owns nothin’? Got ourselves a damn big Army too. It’s very lethal. Gonna do some drillin’ in Alaska. No harm done, just a little pinch. Need some more jobs. Workin’ on that. Real hard. Amen. (Sponsored by the people of Saudi Arabia.)

Florida
Composite state: Florida
Capital: Tallahassee
Form of government: Gerontocracy
First head of state: Bob Graham
Populated by retirees from Sox Nation and CRINGE, Florida is a welfare state offering a free medicinal prescription drug benefit subsidized by its neighbors to the North.

SWEAT (Southwestern Esteemed Aged Territory)
Composite states: Arizona, New Mexico
Capital: Phoenix
Form of government: Straighttalkocracy
First head of state: John McCain
Much like Florida, but with more of a cowboy aesthetic. And free drugs.

Nevada
Composite state: Nevada
Capital: Las Vegas
Form of government: Casino
First head of state: Donald Trump
Gambling, hookers.

--Christian Lorentzen

i'm realizing just how lovely it can be when you get re-hooked on an album you haven't listened to in a bit. "give up" has been spinning throughout my travels all day and i couldn't be more pleased.

and on a jenny-lewis-can-i-be-her-for-just-one-day-please note ... a mp3-ed recording of the somerville show is posted on rilokiley.net. (go to multimedia). i downloaded it last night and felt like i was right back in the somerville theater, singing along to "a better son/daughter" at the top of my lungs with a smile on my face ...

thanks to the red sox, i won't be able to be particularly productive this evening - again ... but it will be worth it if the idiots continue to cowboy up. go sox!