r.i.p. bob

surfer bob: 2001-2003

surfer bob, known to friends as "bob" or "the funny surfer dude in the back of v's car," died tragically sometime saturday in the driveway of the v's family's vermont home. he had recently celebrated his second birthday.

bob's life began in a toy factory, where he and his thousands of siblings (oddly enough, all named "surfer bob") lived in harmony until they were separated, scattered across the united states and, presumably, canada. bob endured a brief, traumatizing stay in a burlington, vt. novelty shop, where he was constantly threatened by boxing nuns and teased by surfer girls. the one positive aspect of the experience was his chance meeting with kala, the hula girl who stole his heart. the two embarked on a torrid love affair until the august day when v came into his life, whisking him away from the boxing nuns (and a tearful kala), giving him a new life and a new home - a space of honor on the back of the backseat of her saturn coupe (named red). it was at that spot that bob happily surfed away the remainder of his days.

during his lifetime, bob traveled through at least ten states and the district of columbia. particularly fond of massachusetts and vermont, he looked forward to road trips and surfed in the parking lots of numerous large venues, enjoying concerts of artists including the dave matthews band, averi, counting crows, john mayer and howie day. his favorite noteworthy locations included the john hancock tower (he shared with v a love for skylines), the campus of st. michael's college and the eastside marketplace in providence, rhode island. always a fan of good music (particularly the beach boys), particularly music of the live persuasion, he would be happiest bobbing along with the tunes of jason mraz, howie day, averi, and jack johnson.

following v's move from chevy chase, maryland, back to vermont, the strain of readjusting and relocating grew to be too much for bob. alas, as the welch family moved v's items out of her car, bob spied the opportunity to descreetly jump to his death. pretending to have been knocked over by a random box or other large item, bob jumped and fell to the asphalt below. there he floated between life and death, murmuring in his half-conscious state until he heard the near-sonic boom - something he had heard thousands of times before, but from inside the car. shortly before his final plastic-coated breath, he realized the engine meant the massive tires were bound to follow. the last thing he saw was the mountain of black rubber moving toward him.

bob is survived by his owner, v. and her immediate family and close friends. he will be remembered fondly by many members of the st. michael's college community and two of the cats that reside next to v's friend elizabeth's residence - the cats having made close friends with bob one summer evening in 2003. he is predeceased by his beloved kala, who lost her life in late 2002 from desmemberment incured during an unfortunate run-in with a curious three-year-old in st. albans, vt.

may we all take a moment to think of bob, now surfing in a land of perpetual sunsets and incredible waves, while kala waits for him by the tiki torch on shore.

god speed, bob.

and in other related news ...

the search now begins for what will replace bob on the back of my car. i think i know what it is going to be - i just need to see if i can pick it up tomorrow. this'll be equally quality ...