... monday, monday ...

ok, a great deal has occurred over the past few hours. where to begin ...

i had my meeting/interview-of-sorts and it went exceptionally well. basically, they want me for freelancing in a few different ways. and when i look at it objectively, it really does seem like this could turn into my dream job - or at least necessary steps to reaching my dream job. the first couple of months might be interesting as i adapt, but i'm capable and i know i can do a great job.

so i called my current job and told my supervisor about how this situation has presented itself to me and there's really no way i can pass it up. i told her that i am more than willing to give them enough notice as they need - i want to fulfill my personal responsibilities to the office and not seem as if i'm screwing anyone over, as i'm currently in a ... well, shall we say unique, position.

she appreciated my honesty and said she can understand why i feel that i need to take advantage of this opportunity. but she has to talk to my other supervisor about it, as i signed a form before i came back up here saying i was going on medical leave with the intention of returning to the office. so we have to see about the technical stuff. so now i get to wait until monday to find out what the deal is - if they don't want me back as planned, if they do, for how long, etc. etc. etc. oy.

i understand that, but here's my thing. first of all, i'm willing to come back and work for a bit - i told the newspaper that i could start at the end of september. second, if it's emotionally and physically best for me to take advantage of this opportunity, it's stupid to demand me to either return to work or pay back the salary i've been receiving while on orders by my office to recouperate. third, i did have every intention of returning to the office, so i wasn't lying or anything. besides, i was fully ready to return to work in july - but they wouldn't let me. this opportunity has come up since that time. if i'm told they don't want me back until late august when i was planning on returning in july and an opportunity comes up in the beginning of august ...

regardless. one way or another, i am going to be a professional writer. i almost can't believe it. !!!!!!!!!! it's more than just a little frightening - i'll be leaving a steady salary and benefits to enter the realm of freelance and a "day job," most likely. but much as i know i'm giving up something solid, i feel great - i'm going to be getting my foot in the door and starting to do what it is that i really want to do. this is one of those situations you hear about when you have to go with your heart over your head - i just have to keep in mind that i've got to take some chances to get where i want to be - here's the first chance ...

now we wait for monday.