I don't recall ever going out of my way to watch a shuttle launch on television before.

We crowded around the televisions in the main room, where we watched the first flames and the sudden upward thrust. I realized I was holding my breath, waiting for something to go wrong and forcing myself not to gasp upon seeing the fuel tanks break away from the shuttle itself.

Amazing that, in 2005, decades after the first trips to space, I was surprised to see the Discovery actually make it into space.

But, of course, there was good reason to be skeptical.

so i left the museum and, on the metro ride back towards my neighborhood, checked my messages, only to discover that my father had called to ask about what had happened to "the space shuttle." unaware of the fact that columbia was in orbit, i figured there had been a launch delay or something, so i called him at work and told him i didn't know, but i'd find out when i got home--just had to run some errands and whatnot. so i stopped at tenleytown, took my own sweet time grocery shopping (i found that i have two additional grocery stores that aren't super far away from my place--yeah, larger selection!!!), walked home, stopped at panera to get myself a bowl of mesa bean & vegetable soup (mmmm...), then ambled into the apartment, turned on the tv, and realized what had happened.

whoa.

besides my initial shock about the events that had transpired, i found myself comparing this experience to the experience i had as a young child learning of the challenger explosion. i don't remember a lot of that day--i was five, afterall--but i do remember watching the explosion on television and talking to my parents about what had happened. but i remember knowing that something like that had never happened before and hoping that it would never happen again.

when i discovered that it was columbia that had exploded this time, i instantly realized that i had seen columbia in person--back in junior high when my family vacationed in florida. my brother, who had been a huge nascar fan, was being treated to a trip to the daytona 500 by my father. since mom and i were letting the men of the family be all macho-like and watch cars race around a circle track (can you tell i've never been a nascar fan myself?), we decided to spend the day at the kennedy space center. so we drove down, took a tour and, as luck would have it, were able to see a shuttle on the launch pad, as it would be taking off on a space mission two days later. the shuttle was columbia.

so i spent much of the afternoon watching the television coverage, then took a break from that to work out (but wound up watching the coverage while i cross-trained in the gym) and then ate dinner while watching the coverage...