random incoherencies.

i need to begin writing this week's column, so i don't wake up tomorrow morning to a blank page and an ever-so-rapidly approaching deadline. but before i do, a few general amusements ...

i haven't been so happy about a happy meal toy in ages. perhaps it was due to the incredibly ridiculous cold we suffered through today, perhaps it was due to losing power for an hour, perhaps due to my perpetually skewed little brain. whatever the reason, i came across one of the new "lilo & stitch" happy meal toys today ... it's called "rude stitch" and features the pesky little alien with his ears falling down behind him, beyond his shoulders, a big grin on his face, huge sunglasses blocking his little alien eyes. technically, you're supposed to be able to push play-dough through the little hole in his mouth so he's forming a gene simmons-style tongue that's just sticking out there for the world to see.

but i found myself thinking of a different musician ... with the ears the way they are (god i wish i could find a picture online to prove my point) and the big sunglasses and the grin, i found myself singing "did i fool ya?" all day long ... i now have one in my posession that i am calling not stitch, but lil' toca. i swear, if toca was blue, it would be him. it amused me to no end and continues to do so now. it just needs a teensie little gnomie and it would be all set.

i've found that what they say is true ... no one ever remembers the good things you say when you're a critic. they always remember the bad and they'll always bring it up. it amused me. i still knocked the play, even a few months later. as if i won't stand by my word? riiiiiight.

uncle crispy videos are splendiferous.

the cold is driving me mad, i need to be somewhere warm. my jokes about visiting cali are starting to seem more and more like a damn good idea ... earthquakes be ready, my frozen toes will welcome you over this hell any day. nowhere should be this cold. i never remember it being so cold in my past ... what gives?

and, finally, the friday five:

1. what does it say in the signature line of your emails?
depends on if i feel like deleting the sig or not. in most cases i do, so i really don't know why i even have sigs with my various email accounts. nevertheless, that's not the nature of the inquiry. sigs include (in no particular order of which account i use most frequently or anything) "she can crawl out of frame while she's hanging on the wall," "but i'm not even sure i'm a real bohemian revolutionary!" or *victoria*.

2. did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? what was it?
yes. it was "even a fool knows you cannot reach the stars, but that does not stop the wise man from trying."

3. if you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read?
i don't think i'd ever get vanity plates. anyway, even if i wanted them, i'd have to move to another state, as the vermont "writer" vanity plate is already taken, i've been informed. otherwise, perhaps ... *pondering* maybe "revel."

4. have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? what did the inscription say?
indeed i have. "you are my sunshine."

5. what would you like your epitaph to be?
hmm ... i'd like to think that others would know me well enough to come up with something appropriate ... besides, thinking of one's own epitaph is a bit creepy. that said, one then must figure out what one is referring to with "epitaph." as in tombstone? or the brief written comentary on the deceased's life?
if it's a tombstone, i hope the word "dreamer" makes an appearance.
if it's a commentary, i hope "dreamistic" comes into play. i read that in an obit a little over a year ago and loved it. i'd also hope the commentary includes that i was much loved, surrounded by laughter. successful wouldn't hurt, either. but, then again, that's as long as those words are appropriate for my life. don't sugarcoat things, tell people about the life i actually lived, know what i mean? if i wind up being a craggy old bitch, i want people to know that, dammit.