you have new messages ...
i love random phone calls. i have a habit of saving voicemails i know i should just get rid of because i love to go back through my electronic files and hear familiar faces in unfamiliar places. i actually just went through and cleared out a ton of messages this morning, as i had to get to a particular message to find a phone number and was greeted with the news that i had "32 saved voice messages."
listening to them, figuring out which ones to delete - it's tough to do. sometimes it's that a particular message was funny. much of the time, they're concert love messages, where a friend is at a concert he/she knew i would have loved, so they call to let me at least hear a bit of it and know that he/she is thinking of me. i've heard some great concerts through the earpiece of my cell phone. radiohead, dmb, mraz, tori, ben folds ... i try to return the favor as much as i can as well. sending becca a message full of gavin's "let's get it on" to satisfy her marvin-craving soul, hearing beth's reaction to the tori-esque tones of charlotte martin and paul's response to hearing "brace yourself" from the hd avalon show makes me love technology and the way you can feel, just for a moment, as if you're right there in the moment - or at least you can hear it.
there are some messages that just cannot be deleted. i have kept a couple of concert messages, particularly those with musicians i've yet to see in person. i also have a message from september, when a certain dear friend risked being one of "those people" and asked a certain favorite musician to say hello to a certain vickie. beth, who was with me when i discovered said message had been left, knew i'd be keeping it for awhile (paul, for the record, i still don't know what you are saying at the end of the message - it never ceases to amuse me).
i had a similarly fun voicemail waiting for me this morning. as i drove back to burlington, i listened to voicemail love from rhode island left the night before during actf debauchery. i smiled as i heard jane inform me of the fact that the drinking theater darlings were thinking of me and missed me. i laughed out loud as i heard a different, familiar voice sing out "vicTORIa - uh uh uh ..." i knew immediately that my favorite amanda had joined the festivities.
after hearing the love, i decided to give it a shot - calling down to rhode island to see if people were yet conscious. fortunately, they were - hungover, but conscious. after catching up a bit, i am now looking forward to a call from tonight's festivities - i told people to drink for me and am sure that that will not be a problem for them.
now, as i prepare to run my various saturday afternoon errands and take on cleaning this place, i smile, thanks to my fellow thespian-minded types in the ocean state ... forget being able to call in cases of emergency and the practicality of cell phones. the reason why they are so handy is so people can know they're loved (or share the love) while they're miles away. keep the calls coming from your adventures, my dear readers. they never cease to bring a smile to my face.
1.31.2004
1.30.2004
striking a deal
i think mother nature tried to compromise with me this morning. i was driving on route 3, leaving proctor to travel to fair haven for the last (i hope) of such friday morning jaunts, when i looked at the mountains up ahead. the bare trees and snow were aglow with the bronze rays of the early morning sunlight - so bright that i was convinced i was actually looking at the mountain in its autumn form, trees covered with the changing leaves i look forward to every year.
while still not a morning person and groggy without my first cup of coffee, i knew my eyes were tricking me. but the most i stared, the more the mountainside looked like autumn. and, surprisingly, the warmer i felt.
finally, my mind convinced my eyes to look at the scene as it actually was - sunlight bouncing off snow and tree trunks. but i felt as if i was being offered at least some form of an apology about the wretched winter we have endured. sure, she's not going to let up on us for at least another month and a half, but at least she can offer me a glimpse of why i stick around the place. my favorite time of year.
it was a brilliant start to the day and my high spirits continued throughout the morning and afternoon, carrying me into the writing of my last column as a correspondent. and, shock of all shocks, i actually really liked what i wrote. perhaps the pendant is working after all?
the focus of my column was a particularly tricky one - a concert i attended last night at the flynn. while my opinion of the event is clear - i absolutely loved it - trying to describe a jazz concert proves remarkably difficult a task to succeed in. how do you try to paint a picture of the event with words when you state early on that scat seems all the more appropriate to capture the moment? how to you convey to someone who wasn't there the way the saxophone wailed with a raw emotion that was perfectly underscored by the upright bass (or rather, how do you do this without falling into the cliches i just fell into now)? i think i did a decent job of it - i actually came up with some descriptions i really like. i feel like maybe these little bits of the column make me appear somewhat worthy of being considered a writer.
right now, i'll take what i can get. ;-)
i think mother nature tried to compromise with me this morning. i was driving on route 3, leaving proctor to travel to fair haven for the last (i hope) of such friday morning jaunts, when i looked at the mountains up ahead. the bare trees and snow were aglow with the bronze rays of the early morning sunlight - so bright that i was convinced i was actually looking at the mountain in its autumn form, trees covered with the changing leaves i look forward to every year.
while still not a morning person and groggy without my first cup of coffee, i knew my eyes were tricking me. but the most i stared, the more the mountainside looked like autumn. and, surprisingly, the warmer i felt.
finally, my mind convinced my eyes to look at the scene as it actually was - sunlight bouncing off snow and tree trunks. but i felt as if i was being offered at least some form of an apology about the wretched winter we have endured. sure, she's not going to let up on us for at least another month and a half, but at least she can offer me a glimpse of why i stick around the place. my favorite time of year.
it was a brilliant start to the day and my high spirits continued throughout the morning and afternoon, carrying me into the writing of my last column as a correspondent. and, shock of all shocks, i actually really liked what i wrote. perhaps the pendant is working after all?
the focus of my column was a particularly tricky one - a concert i attended last night at the flynn. while my opinion of the event is clear - i absolutely loved it - trying to describe a jazz concert proves remarkably difficult a task to succeed in. how do you try to paint a picture of the event with words when you state early on that scat seems all the more appropriate to capture the moment? how to you convey to someone who wasn't there the way the saxophone wailed with a raw emotion that was perfectly underscored by the upright bass (or rather, how do you do this without falling into the cliches i just fell into now)? i think i did a decent job of it - i actually came up with some descriptions i really like. i feel like maybe these little bits of the column make me appear somewhat worthy of being considered a writer.
right now, i'll take what i can get. ;-)
it may be freezng here, but ...
at least we aren't covered with the remains of an exploding sperm whale. silver lining wherever you can find one, right?
now, besides the fact that the unfortunate natives of tainan have been forced to clean their streets, houses and other belongings of whale entrail, i'm curious about something and while i probably shouldn't ask, i'm going to anyway.
at the end of the article, the story delves into the size of the whale and it's whaley genetalia ... and it says that more than 100 residents have gone to the corpse to "experience" this super-sized element.
um ... was that translated incorrectly? is "examine" the proper word needed? because if there's a group of men who have gone to see the corpse to experience, not only do we have some taiwanese necrophelia going on, but we also have a reason why the poor thing must have exploded ...
this random, somewhat disgusting and as always irrelevant post is brought to you by victoria - grossing her readers out, one post at a time.
at least we aren't covered with the remains of an exploding sperm whale. silver lining wherever you can find one, right?
now, besides the fact that the unfortunate natives of tainan have been forced to clean their streets, houses and other belongings of whale entrail, i'm curious about something and while i probably shouldn't ask, i'm going to anyway.
at the end of the article, the story delves into the size of the whale and it's whaley genetalia ... and it says that more than 100 residents have gone to the corpse to "experience" this super-sized element.
um ... was that translated incorrectly? is "examine" the proper word needed? because if there's a group of men who have gone to see the corpse to experience, not only do we have some taiwanese necrophelia going on, but we also have a reason why the poor thing must have exploded ...
this random, somewhat disgusting and as always irrelevant post is brought to you by victoria - grossing her readers out, one post at a time.
dammit!!!
i may have to rethink my anti-editing stance. perhaps i'll save the entries somewhere for myself and then edit accordingly. too many embarrassing-if-perceived-in-a-certain-manner posts are popping up on search engines.
hmm.
must sleep. tonight's downtown entertainment - jazz at the flynn - was amazing. during intermission, the near-perfect blend of my celebrity infatuations stood in the aisle seven seats away from me. i was actually thinking about walking up and saying hello when i saw the cursed band of gold on the left hand.
i don't know what concerns me most: that someone exists in the world (and within driving distance of burlington, at that) who looks like a cross between orlando bloom and jason mraz with a hayden christensen (i know that's a blast from the past, eh?) smile thrown into the mix; that such a person is already married; or that i felt the need to look for a ring.
good god. i feel old and superficial. to bed i go.
i may have to rethink my anti-editing stance. perhaps i'll save the entries somewhere for myself and then edit accordingly. too many embarrassing-if-perceived-in-a-certain-manner posts are popping up on search engines.
hmm.
must sleep. tonight's downtown entertainment - jazz at the flynn - was amazing. during intermission, the near-perfect blend of my celebrity infatuations stood in the aisle seven seats away from me. i was actually thinking about walking up and saying hello when i saw the cursed band of gold on the left hand.
i don't know what concerns me most: that someone exists in the world (and within driving distance of burlington, at that) who looks like a cross between orlando bloom and jason mraz with a hayden christensen (i know that's a blast from the past, eh?) smile thrown into the mix; that such a person is already married; or that i felt the need to look for a ring.
good god. i feel old and superficial. to bed i go.
1.29.2004
too much of a good thing?
i think i may have begun coming to terms with the fact that i need to start exanding my musical favorites.
it's been coming on for awhile, but it really hit home this afternoon, as i went out on a business-related shopping trip (read: want new work clothes, spend money and justify it by starting a new job - forget that i already worked the job before and have clothes for it). as i found nothing that thrilled me, i turned instead to my beloved pure pop, where i knew i'd find at least one or two things of the musical variety i'd fancy.
sure enough, pick up a couple of things, all is good. and then i see it. my favorite musician, sprawled out on the street, the rooster at his head. yep, the import single for "the remedy."
now i have no reason to buy this. it's my least favorite mraz song now, it's a single that features two versions of it (studio single and live) and a live version of "tonight, not again." i have these songs. i have numerous versions of these songs. but for some damn reason, the "import" label and the amusing photo makes me say to self, "aw, screw it," and i pick it up with my other selections and head to the register.
so i buy, i run other errands, then i hop back into my car. i decide to put it in and skip the single and go to the live version of "tonight, not again." i'm listening, thinking it sounds awfully familiar, then realizing that it's the WBOS version that i already have (and actually listen to on a regular basis, as i think it's the best version i've heard anywhere).
bollocks! so i skip to the live version of "the remedy." yep, WBOS too. have it.
now, when you're able to listen to an import single for the first time and identify the live versions offered on it, it's time to start listening to other things, at least a bit more. i've come to terms with this. or he needs to put out the new album now - but that won't happen and that's not my point.
anyway. it's fortunate that i've realized this now, though, as i have started finding some new music (or new to me, i should say) that i'm getting into. for example, stereophonics' "you gotta go there to come back" has been a delight (i wish i could get to either boston or montreal to see them with howie, but they're both in the middle of the week so road trips prove tricky) and i'm getting back in touch with my belle & sebastian side. i've been hearing some names that i want to check out. for some reason i'm feeling like rocking out more lately. it's odd - i haven't been that way in ages. ryan adams' "rock n roll" has been in frequent rotation.
now i well know that mraz is going to stay at the top of my musical favorites list ... how could he not? but wow ... my all-too-engrossed-in-the-mraz-music self startled me and it's time to take a breath and look around ... see what else is out there.
i think i may have begun coming to terms with the fact that i need to start exanding my musical favorites.
it's been coming on for awhile, but it really hit home this afternoon, as i went out on a business-related shopping trip (read: want new work clothes, spend money and justify it by starting a new job - forget that i already worked the job before and have clothes for it). as i found nothing that thrilled me, i turned instead to my beloved pure pop, where i knew i'd find at least one or two things of the musical variety i'd fancy.
sure enough, pick up a couple of things, all is good. and then i see it. my favorite musician, sprawled out on the street, the rooster at his head. yep, the import single for "the remedy."
now i have no reason to buy this. it's my least favorite mraz song now, it's a single that features two versions of it (studio single and live) and a live version of "tonight, not again." i have these songs. i have numerous versions of these songs. but for some damn reason, the "import" label and the amusing photo makes me say to self, "aw, screw it," and i pick it up with my other selections and head to the register.
so i buy, i run other errands, then i hop back into my car. i decide to put it in and skip the single and go to the live version of "tonight, not again." i'm listening, thinking it sounds awfully familiar, then realizing that it's the WBOS version that i already have (and actually listen to on a regular basis, as i think it's the best version i've heard anywhere).
bollocks! so i skip to the live version of "the remedy." yep, WBOS too. have it.
now, when you're able to listen to an import single for the first time and identify the live versions offered on it, it's time to start listening to other things, at least a bit more. i've come to terms with this. or he needs to put out the new album now - but that won't happen and that's not my point.
anyway. it's fortunate that i've realized this now, though, as i have started finding some new music (or new to me, i should say) that i'm getting into. for example, stereophonics' "you gotta go there to come back" has been a delight (i wish i could get to either boston or montreal to see them with howie, but they're both in the middle of the week so road trips prove tricky) and i'm getting back in touch with my belle & sebastian side. i've been hearing some names that i want to check out. for some reason i'm feeling like rocking out more lately. it's odd - i haven't been that way in ages. ryan adams' "rock n roll" has been in frequent rotation.
now i well know that mraz is going to stay at the top of my musical favorites list ... how could he not? but wow ... my all-too-engrossed-in-the-mraz-music self startled me and it's time to take a breath and look around ... see what else is out there.
1.28.2004
never ceases to amuse ...
what a literary delight for my eyes this morning! to what do i refer? let's ponder that for a few and then come back to the logical conclusion: new journal entry.
besides the fact that i have serious issues with the manner in which he disqualified new england from the great cold contest because of the wind chill factor (how i would love to extend to mr. mraz a personal invitation to get through three days of the cold up here - then he can tell me about how the wind chill doesn't count - ha!), his writing again impresses and amuses.
I’ll start by telling you how much I enjoyed the MTV/TRL experience.
?????
I know that sounds weird to some of you
indeed ...
but allow me to explain. I did that show for the main reason that I want to be a VJ. Not a regular one that hosts a show like TRL, but a guest VJ who takes you on a journey from 1 to 20 in a classic countdown series, or what I’d enjoy the most, being one of those correspondents from the road in this year’s presidential election.
that's what i wanted my mtv job to be, bitch. back off. ;)
I’ve got my Nick Drake play-list kicking in my headphones and Hazy Jane II just came on. What a great song. If you’ve never heard it I highly recommend you rush out this weekend and pick up a copy of Bryter Layter. If you need another reason other than my seated smooth moves, the Hazey Jane inspired The Boy’s Gone. Another great Nick drake song that’s always appropriately mentioned is Saturday Sun. I think I can see it now. God bless you Nick. Rest in peace.
amen to that. i was just discussing nick drake on sunday and started listening to him for the first time in ages shortly thereafter. great minds, man ...
and, in the last bit of amusement:
I’ll leave you with my own secret special recipe for hot chocolate to enjoy during this miserable visible breath time of our lives.
MRAZ'S SECRET SPECIAL HOT CHOCOLATE
FOR MISERABLE VISIBLE BREATH TIMES
Ingredients: Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Mix
Conventional Preparation: Empty contents of envelope into a cup. Gradually stir 6 oz. (3/4 cup) hot (not boiling) water into mix.
Microwave Preparation: Empty contents of envelope into cup. In a separate microwave container, heat 6 oz. (3/4 cup) water about 1 1/2 minutes or until hot, but not boiling. Gradually stir hot water into mix.
For Best Results: Do not eat bull balls
and add a dollop of fluff to top it off. i was cracking up as i read it, recalling my first mugs of hot cocoa in well over a year, consumed saturday as we wished for spring ...
i'm off to run some errands, but when i return, i will find the link to the "morning theft" cover - i actually have to give it another try myself, as it would not let me decode the .shn to .wav last night ... wish me luck!
what a literary delight for my eyes this morning! to what do i refer? let's ponder that for a few and then come back to the logical conclusion: new journal entry.
besides the fact that i have serious issues with the manner in which he disqualified new england from the great cold contest because of the wind chill factor (how i would love to extend to mr. mraz a personal invitation to get through three days of the cold up here - then he can tell me about how the wind chill doesn't count - ha!), his writing again impresses and amuses.
I’ll start by telling you how much I enjoyed the MTV/TRL experience.
?????
I know that sounds weird to some of you
indeed ...
but allow me to explain. I did that show for the main reason that I want to be a VJ. Not a regular one that hosts a show like TRL, but a guest VJ who takes you on a journey from 1 to 20 in a classic countdown series, or what I’d enjoy the most, being one of those correspondents from the road in this year’s presidential election.
that's what i wanted my mtv job to be, bitch. back off. ;)
I’ve got my Nick Drake play-list kicking in my headphones and Hazy Jane II just came on. What a great song. If you’ve never heard it I highly recommend you rush out this weekend and pick up a copy of Bryter Layter. If you need another reason other than my seated smooth moves, the Hazey Jane inspired The Boy’s Gone. Another great Nick drake song that’s always appropriately mentioned is Saturday Sun. I think I can see it now. God bless you Nick. Rest in peace.
amen to that. i was just discussing nick drake on sunday and started listening to him for the first time in ages shortly thereafter. great minds, man ...
and, in the last bit of amusement:
I’ll leave you with my own secret special recipe for hot chocolate to enjoy during this miserable visible breath time of our lives.
MRAZ'S SECRET SPECIAL HOT CHOCOLATE
FOR MISERABLE VISIBLE BREATH TIMES
Ingredients: Swiss Miss Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Mix
Conventional Preparation: Empty contents of envelope into a cup. Gradually stir 6 oz. (3/4 cup) hot (not boiling) water into mix.
Microwave Preparation: Empty contents of envelope into cup. In a separate microwave container, heat 6 oz. (3/4 cup) water about 1 1/2 minutes or until hot, but not boiling. Gradually stir hot water into mix.
For Best Results: Do not eat bull balls
and add a dollop of fluff to top it off. i was cracking up as i read it, recalling my first mugs of hot cocoa in well over a year, consumed saturday as we wished for spring ...
i'm off to run some errands, but when i return, i will find the link to the "morning theft" cover - i actually have to give it another try myself, as it would not let me decode the .shn to .wav last night ... wish me luck!
1.27.2004
bittersweet smiles, the haunting of a dead movie star and finally settling in.
it's actf week in rhode island, which i learned when joe IMed me from the festival a few minutes ago. ah ... what memories those four letters bring back. i attended four festivals over the course of two years - two regionals and the two nationals that prompted the telling statement, "beth, i'm here at the kennedy center, i'm having a total actf moment, i love dc and i'm going to live here!"
my approach to the festivals varied, depending on what level they were. the nationals were all about work - i was determined to show that i belonged with the other seven critics from around the country and i was in constant awe of what i was witnessing, as well as what i was surrounded by. nationals my junior year was the festival that felt most like Work, as we all pretty much went together to the shows, then returned to our respective rooms to write our reviews and go to sleep, preparing for the next day. senior year's festival was equally focused, but was the most creatively stimulating and fun experience i have had (i'd say the o'neill surpassed it as far as the creative stimulation, but while i had a wonderful time, the consistent fun factor didn't come close). lounging in spencer's room with the rest of the group, drinking and writing, bouncing turns of phrase off each other while listening to mp3s of spencer's band back in chico. leaning forward in my overstuffed purple recliner to counter a point made by the challenge offered across the table, grinning while our leader watched us try to outdo each other in a good-natured competition of wit, winks and smiles. opening my hotel room door in the morning to find flowers at my feet, jenny remarking, "i think we must have had a visitor or two from your crazy critic friends" and learning later that a couple of them had decided to leave me a gift after returning from their late-night antics. introducing clint to most of the critics after "romeo & juliet" and recalling the lengthy ensuing conversations to those who'd missed out on it ... and of course, 2 a.m. damn-writers-block chinese with rhiannon as we sat on the warm concrete outside our hotel in the wonderful spring night ... sure, i goofed off, but i was stimulated and driven - and, instead of the previous year's "do i belong here???" self-doubt, knew i belonged, had something to give the group and was an active participant in everything going on. it was great, in a fun, productive sort of way.
senior year nationals was such a special time ... while i lived in dc for nearly a year and spent so much time wandering and exploring the city, i specifically avoided walking over to gw territory until the spring because i wanted to see the area - the streets by the hotel, the view of the monument from the street where we crossed it so many times, even the dopey purple foggybottom store - the way i remembered it the previous april (on a side note: as i walked around the area, it amazed me that once upon a time i wandered the streets bogged down with luggage, limping with a nearly broken toe and couldn't find the hotel to save my life.) it was dopey, but it's been well-established that dopeyness is a key personality trait of mine. it made me smile at the time and continues to now as i think back on it.
i was productive at regionals, but it was so much more about the fun. meeting everyone, lounging around in hotel rooms drinking, chatting, laughing and playing whatever games we wanted to play. treading water in the pool while catching gummy bears tossed from a second floor balcony, chatting with tim (mr. bagel) about howie day. throwing aside self-doubt to flirt with someone you never thought would be interested in you in "real life." laughing with bobby while speaking in outrageous british accents, later seeing him across a room and both of us shouting, "i love you!!!" with the best cockney we could muster in our inhebriated states. bathtubs full of beer on ice, discussions about jim morrison and rotisserie machine infomercials and last nights without sleep - yes, stairwells, too.
they were some of the best times of college and i found myself gaining confidence in areas i never thought i'd succeed. the love affair with criticism was born and i was touched to be asked to be a scene partner in an acting competition. the only time i'll ever play isben, i reckon ...
good god, i'm rambling. it's just that when i think of actf, i can't help but smile - funny how something i stumbled into randomly would come to shape my life in ways i never expected ...
i've been haunted lately by an actf memory ... it seems that reference to the clone have been popping up with increasing frequency. it's funny to think about how the mention of a name can instantly bring me back to a couple of years ago - a bundle of confusion, giddiness and hope, even though i always knew the inevitable outcome, it was so exciting at the time.
hey, it's part of my twisted history ... i asked joe to send a hello for me. i hope everyone has as good a time at this year's festival as at mine ...
and now for the present news. i finally feel as if i'm starting to settle into life in burlington post-grad. met and caught up with caleb last night for a couple of drinks, then was introduced to the wonder that is the dobra tea house this evening, courtesy of the ever-delightful john boy. dobra rocks, might i add ... a low-key, funky space where, as shown tonight, it's easy to chat away a couple of hours in what seems like the blink of an eye.
as things have been so up in the air with everything lately and i've been trying to not procrastinate with my writing (and failing miserably, might i add), it's been easy to keep myself nestled in the apartment, chatting on the phone and promising to touch base with people the next day, then the day after that, yadda yadda. next thing i knew, i'd been in burlington for over a month and had only a handful of times i'd done anything not work-related.
tonight was grand fun. thanks john. :) i finally felt like i was on my way to reclaiming burlington and doing well here ... professionally, but also having a good time doing it (i should note: i've had some great times already in burlington, but most of it involved visits from people. friends are always more than welcome to visit - hell, they're encouraged - but what i'm trying to say without much success is that this is the first time i'm awhile i've had fun around here without a visitor from elsewhere.) it's time for some burlington fun, dammit!
now, blatantly stealing from john, i'll add my own quick answers to the following inquiries (oh, like i can resist anything remotely like this? you know me better than that ...):
Ever...
... say things before you think them through? all the time. which is why i have developed my tendancy to be shy and quiet when i first meet people.
... over think and over rationalize things? that's all i do most of the time ...
... not feel as strongly about something as you think (or even Know) you ought to, but still don?t? doesn't everyone?
... help someone who doesn?t want it, but needs it none the less? yes, although it can be tricky at times.
... take one for the team, not because someone had to, but cause you wanted to? yep, not as often as i probably should, though.
... have someone notice? indeed. and how lovely that is ...
... lie by relflex? yep.
... tried so hard to do something right only to have it all go to ruin? frequently.
... had things come together when, by all rights, it shouldn?t have? luck smiles down on me far too often than i probably deserve.
... wish you could tell someone something, but couldn?t? absolutely.
... been to be a knight in shining armor? ????
... had your presence cause ore trouble the good? yes.
... observed the world instead of simply seeing it? that's what i try to do on a daily basis.
... wish you knew then what you know now? yes. how different things would probably be now ...
... put the care, wants a desires of your friends above your own? yes.
... not have the right words for a situation? for a wannabe writer, i struggle with this far too often.
... wish you could remember more of your dreams? definitely. they never cease to amuse me.
... cared too much about the wrong things? all the time.
... said or done something so spectacular that you surprise yourself? yep.
... been in love? i don't think so.
... had your heart broken? yes.
... wish you could take something back? sure.
... seen a wonderful greatness in someone, and wish they saw it too? absolutely.
... buried yourself in excuses and promises? yes.
... risk it all for a smile? on numerous occasions. and sometimes it was worth it.
... wish you could read people minds? yes, although i'd be worried about what i'd learn.
... had people have more confidence in you then you do in yourself? most of the time, this is the case.
... had people not appreciate you? yes. and, might i add, isn't it frustrating to hear those people say after the fact that they didn't appreciate you at the time? i wonder, do they think it's good to hear this? because most of the time it feels as if it's just pouring salt into my wound and an opportunity for them to feel better about themselves.
... had people look to you for strength when you knees are wobbling? yes.
... stopped to help someone for no reason but they needed it? yes.
... picked someone up when they were down? i'd like to think so. you tell me.
... wish there was 8 days in a week? that's the story of my life.
... want to just start fresh? frequently.
... relish the moment? i need to do that more often. but i'm getting better at it.
... been thankful for the good with the bad? yes. live and learn.
quick notes to end on: i'll be drifting to sleep with the newly download mraz cover of buckley's "morning theft." this, recorded live in 2000, i believe, is sure to be a grand rendition ... mraz covering buckley??? i don't know how much better a cover could get ...
and i am so pleased to see "a kiss at the end of the rainbow" from "a mighty wind" nominated for the best song oscar ... how much am i looking forward to the performance at the ceremony? (related note: my annual oscar predictions will make an appearance in the coming days ... it's a tradition, i usually do horribly, but it's tradition nonetheless.)
i've decided that crystal method's "born too slow" would be a fabulous song to wake up to in the morning. talk about getting the day off on an energetic start ...
it's actf week in rhode island, which i learned when joe IMed me from the festival a few minutes ago. ah ... what memories those four letters bring back. i attended four festivals over the course of two years - two regionals and the two nationals that prompted the telling statement, "beth, i'm here at the kennedy center, i'm having a total actf moment, i love dc and i'm going to live here!"
my approach to the festivals varied, depending on what level they were. the nationals were all about work - i was determined to show that i belonged with the other seven critics from around the country and i was in constant awe of what i was witnessing, as well as what i was surrounded by. nationals my junior year was the festival that felt most like Work, as we all pretty much went together to the shows, then returned to our respective rooms to write our reviews and go to sleep, preparing for the next day. senior year's festival was equally focused, but was the most creatively stimulating and fun experience i have had (i'd say the o'neill surpassed it as far as the creative stimulation, but while i had a wonderful time, the consistent fun factor didn't come close). lounging in spencer's room with the rest of the group, drinking and writing, bouncing turns of phrase off each other while listening to mp3s of spencer's band back in chico. leaning forward in my overstuffed purple recliner to counter a point made by the challenge offered across the table, grinning while our leader watched us try to outdo each other in a good-natured competition of wit, winks and smiles. opening my hotel room door in the morning to find flowers at my feet, jenny remarking, "i think we must have had a visitor or two from your crazy critic friends" and learning later that a couple of them had decided to leave me a gift after returning from their late-night antics. introducing clint to most of the critics after "romeo & juliet" and recalling the lengthy ensuing conversations to those who'd missed out on it ... and of course, 2 a.m. damn-writers-block chinese with rhiannon as we sat on the warm concrete outside our hotel in the wonderful spring night ... sure, i goofed off, but i was stimulated and driven - and, instead of the previous year's "do i belong here???" self-doubt, knew i belonged, had something to give the group and was an active participant in everything going on. it was great, in a fun, productive sort of way.
senior year nationals was such a special time ... while i lived in dc for nearly a year and spent so much time wandering and exploring the city, i specifically avoided walking over to gw territory until the spring because i wanted to see the area - the streets by the hotel, the view of the monument from the street where we crossed it so many times, even the dopey purple foggybottom store - the way i remembered it the previous april (on a side note: as i walked around the area, it amazed me that once upon a time i wandered the streets bogged down with luggage, limping with a nearly broken toe and couldn't find the hotel to save my life.) it was dopey, but it's been well-established that dopeyness is a key personality trait of mine. it made me smile at the time and continues to now as i think back on it.
i was productive at regionals, but it was so much more about the fun. meeting everyone, lounging around in hotel rooms drinking, chatting, laughing and playing whatever games we wanted to play. treading water in the pool while catching gummy bears tossed from a second floor balcony, chatting with tim (mr. bagel) about howie day. throwing aside self-doubt to flirt with someone you never thought would be interested in you in "real life." laughing with bobby while speaking in outrageous british accents, later seeing him across a room and both of us shouting, "i love you!!!" with the best cockney we could muster in our inhebriated states. bathtubs full of beer on ice, discussions about jim morrison and rotisserie machine infomercials and last nights without sleep - yes, stairwells, too.
they were some of the best times of college and i found myself gaining confidence in areas i never thought i'd succeed. the love affair with criticism was born and i was touched to be asked to be a scene partner in an acting competition. the only time i'll ever play isben, i reckon ...
good god, i'm rambling. it's just that when i think of actf, i can't help but smile - funny how something i stumbled into randomly would come to shape my life in ways i never expected ...
i've been haunted lately by an actf memory ... it seems that reference to the clone have been popping up with increasing frequency. it's funny to think about how the mention of a name can instantly bring me back to a couple of years ago - a bundle of confusion, giddiness and hope, even though i always knew the inevitable outcome, it was so exciting at the time.
hey, it's part of my twisted history ... i asked joe to send a hello for me. i hope everyone has as good a time at this year's festival as at mine ...
and now for the present news. i finally feel as if i'm starting to settle into life in burlington post-grad. met and caught up with caleb last night for a couple of drinks, then was introduced to the wonder that is the dobra tea house this evening, courtesy of the ever-delightful john boy. dobra rocks, might i add ... a low-key, funky space where, as shown tonight, it's easy to chat away a couple of hours in what seems like the blink of an eye.
as things have been so up in the air with everything lately and i've been trying to not procrastinate with my writing (and failing miserably, might i add), it's been easy to keep myself nestled in the apartment, chatting on the phone and promising to touch base with people the next day, then the day after that, yadda yadda. next thing i knew, i'd been in burlington for over a month and had only a handful of times i'd done anything not work-related.
tonight was grand fun. thanks john. :) i finally felt like i was on my way to reclaiming burlington and doing well here ... professionally, but also having a good time doing it (i should note: i've had some great times already in burlington, but most of it involved visits from people. friends are always more than welcome to visit - hell, they're encouraged - but what i'm trying to say without much success is that this is the first time i'm awhile i've had fun around here without a visitor from elsewhere.) it's time for some burlington fun, dammit!
now, blatantly stealing from john, i'll add my own quick answers to the following inquiries (oh, like i can resist anything remotely like this? you know me better than that ...):
Ever...
... say things before you think them through? all the time. which is why i have developed my tendancy to be shy and quiet when i first meet people.
... over think and over rationalize things? that's all i do most of the time ...
... not feel as strongly about something as you think (or even Know) you ought to, but still don?t? doesn't everyone?
... help someone who doesn?t want it, but needs it none the less? yes, although it can be tricky at times.
... take one for the team, not because someone had to, but cause you wanted to? yep, not as often as i probably should, though.
... have someone notice? indeed. and how lovely that is ...
... lie by relflex? yep.
... tried so hard to do something right only to have it all go to ruin? frequently.
... had things come together when, by all rights, it shouldn?t have? luck smiles down on me far too often than i probably deserve.
... wish you could tell someone something, but couldn?t? absolutely.
... been to be a knight in shining armor? ????
... had your presence cause ore trouble the good? yes.
... observed the world instead of simply seeing it? that's what i try to do on a daily basis.
... wish you knew then what you know now? yes. how different things would probably be now ...
... put the care, wants a desires of your friends above your own? yes.
... not have the right words for a situation? for a wannabe writer, i struggle with this far too often.
... wish you could remember more of your dreams? definitely. they never cease to amuse me.
... cared too much about the wrong things? all the time.
... said or done something so spectacular that you surprise yourself? yep.
... been in love? i don't think so.
... had your heart broken? yes.
... wish you could take something back? sure.
... seen a wonderful greatness in someone, and wish they saw it too? absolutely.
... buried yourself in excuses and promises? yes.
... risk it all for a smile? on numerous occasions. and sometimes it was worth it.
... wish you could read people minds? yes, although i'd be worried about what i'd learn.
... had people have more confidence in you then you do in yourself? most of the time, this is the case.
... had people not appreciate you? yes. and, might i add, isn't it frustrating to hear those people say after the fact that they didn't appreciate you at the time? i wonder, do they think it's good to hear this? because most of the time it feels as if it's just pouring salt into my wound and an opportunity for them to feel better about themselves.
... had people look to you for strength when you knees are wobbling? yes.
... stopped to help someone for no reason but they needed it? yes.
... picked someone up when they were down? i'd like to think so. you tell me.
... wish there was 8 days in a week? that's the story of my life.
... want to just start fresh? frequently.
... relish the moment? i need to do that more often. but i'm getting better at it.
... been thankful for the good with the bad? yes. live and learn.
quick notes to end on: i'll be drifting to sleep with the newly download mraz cover of buckley's "morning theft." this, recorded live in 2000, i believe, is sure to be a grand rendition ... mraz covering buckley??? i don't know how much better a cover could get ...
and i am so pleased to see "a kiss at the end of the rainbow" from "a mighty wind" nominated for the best song oscar ... how much am i looking forward to the performance at the ceremony? (related note: my annual oscar predictions will make an appearance in the coming days ... it's a tradition, i usually do horribly, but it's tradition nonetheless.)
i've decided that crystal method's "born too slow" would be a fabulous song to wake up to in the morning. talk about getting the day off on an energetic start ...
belated ff action and a vow
sure it's monday, but frankly, i don't give a damn. friday five action ...
at this moment, what is your favorite...
1. ...song? at this very moment, i'm quite partial to mraz's "the darkest space."
2. ...food? grasshopper's no name was divine. and one of my favorites that i just haven't had in eons is my beloved and much-missed chipotle ...
3. ...tv show? it shocks me that i can't say "the west wing." i haven't seen it in eons and i miss it terribly ... but for now? no question: "sex & the city."
4. ...scent? a tie. either my vanilla sugar body lotion or orange. i'd say something profound like the smell of flowers, the smell of the sea air or whatnot, but let's face it: it's damn cold, no one's going outside to smell the ocean and the flowers are nonexistant right now as we're trapped in the dead of winter.
5. ...quote? my eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected. - anna m. uhlich
i was out driving tonight when i promised myself to never settle for an uneventful life. i will never live a dull life with a strict, unwavering routine. i want excitement and i am determined to find it, wherever it takes me, whomever i meet.
random thought, i know, but as i made the promise to myself, it was all-consuming. i don't want to wake up in ten years and feel like i've been asleep. i'm going to live life and love life. i'm not going to just go through it for the sake of going through it.
what's the point in that?
sure it's monday, but frankly, i don't give a damn. friday five action ...
at this moment, what is your favorite...
1. ...song? at this very moment, i'm quite partial to mraz's "the darkest space."
2. ...food? grasshopper's no name was divine. and one of my favorites that i just haven't had in eons is my beloved and much-missed chipotle ...
3. ...tv show? it shocks me that i can't say "the west wing." i haven't seen it in eons and i miss it terribly ... but for now? no question: "sex & the city."
4. ...scent? a tie. either my vanilla sugar body lotion or orange. i'd say something profound like the smell of flowers, the smell of the sea air or whatnot, but let's face it: it's damn cold, no one's going outside to smell the ocean and the flowers are nonexistant right now as we're trapped in the dead of winter.
5. ...quote? my eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected. - anna m. uhlich
i was out driving tonight when i promised myself to never settle for an uneventful life. i will never live a dull life with a strict, unwavering routine. i want excitement and i am determined to find it, wherever it takes me, whomever i meet.
random thought, i know, but as i made the promise to myself, it was all-consuming. i don't want to wake up in ten years and feel like i've been asleep. i'm going to live life and love life. i'm not going to just go through it for the sake of going through it.
what's the point in that?
1.26.2004
is a hipster without the swagger really a hipster at all?
yesterday afternoon, tom and i sat in a dark green booth at grasshopper, enjoying food i've heard him rave about since he moved ot boston. sure enough, i enjoyed the closest thing to hop sing general's chicken i've had anywhere. who would have thought i'd find a dead ringer for burlington chinese chicken at a vegan restaurant in allston?
as i tried to hide the fact that i haven't used chopsticks in eons, i chatted with tom about how he found the place. he informed me that the restaurant is a hotspot for punks and hipsters, then commenting on the fact that both were represented at our booth. as the mohawk and punk gear was still in full effect across the table from me, i raised an eyebrow and asked if he was trying to refer to his beloved sister as a darkly sarcastic hipster.
his response amused me to no end (and fine, yes, it secretly pleased me). taking a moment to contemplate the best choice of words while popping a floret of broccoli into his mouth, he carefully replied. looking at my general personality, he would have to go with no because i tend to be too optimistic for strict hipsterdom. while i did dye my normally sunny blonde hair darker, it wasn't black, which also helped the argument against my being a hipster.
but, he countered, i am frequently very sarcastic and he knew i "have a tendancy to be a cynical bitch" when i want to be (i took no offense, as it was stated matter-of-factly and he's said more than once that he gets a kick out of my cynicism). and as far as my interests and preferences, they all foray into hipster territory.
thus, the final analysis: "you are someone possessing the characteristics and interests of a hipster without the pretention that comes with identifying oneself as a hipster."
as i opened my mouth to laugh, he added the kicker.
"except when it comes to music."
he then went into a quite indepth analysis of my musical taste and attitudes, based on previous conversations and particularly the chat we had just finished on the train on the way to allston. during the train ride, i filled him in on my conversation with michelle the night before, when we discussed how much mayer each of us could listen to and how we viewed him both prefame and now, he nodded in understanding, then asking me how i felt about the success of mraz and howie in comparison. as i rolled my eyes at references to "the remedy" (but, i should note, grinned like a fool when he said he really liked "you & i both"), he heard me discuss the wonder of an intimate show with people who really love the music and not the hype.
my soapbox moment came back to bite me, as he described my musical hipster pretention. but it was all good, he assured me, as he's proud of being a pretentious punk.
later in the afternoon, we waited for the bus to pick us up across from the "jim did it sign company" (love it) and bring us back to harvard square and i learned the intricate punk dance steps. my favorite is the two-step, pizza-maker combo. i suppose the fun may have been lost on those driving by, as two twenty-somethings were flailing about at a bus stop on a sunday afternoon, but we kept warm and i was loving every second of it.
as he gave me a hug and thanked me for such a fun afternoon at the alewife station, i thanked him for the perfect end to a fantastic weekend. in truth, i can't recall having three days of constant fun in ages.
there's no way i can do justice to it all, but i'll do quick summaries. friday night found beth and myself taking on the gavin degraw/vaco/michael tolcher show at uvm, where we realized how old we were and how long it's been since we attended a college (read: see and be seen) concert.
vaco is crazy and would make a great headliner. gavin would make a fine headliner as long as he let loose from the beginning of his set - and had more original material to work with. his cover of "let's get it on" will go down as the second best cover i've ever heard live (first place going to pmb/vaco/hd covering "sympathy for the devil" at paradise circa 12.28.00). for the rest of his set, he was great, although for some reason i found myself singing "i don't wanna be" with my cartman voice for the rest of the evening and much of the following morning. good times, 1 a.m. pizza/breadstick calls and the first homemade vodka/sprite drinks since college days.
after writing my column and sending it in, i headed down to massachusetts late saturday morning, greeting the boston skyline with glee when i drove around the bend on 95. i love that moment.
i do not, unfortunately, love the results of the big dig. i hate the tunnel going beneath the city ... i love massachusetts drivers. i consider myself a massachusetts driver by birth and get in touch with my flatlander roots as soon as cross the state lines. but i'm not crazy about tunnels as is, and being in a new tunnel with a whole bunch of massachusetts drivers ... not so much. especially since one of my favorite things about the drive is driving through the city ...
after arriving in quincy, i caught up with michelle and rita before michelle and i decided to try to prevent any debacles like our last trip to providence. therefore, we looked up what time the show was set to begin and found directions to the living room ... i thought we'd really covered our arses. so, with the plan to drive in, get dinner somewhere nice, then hit up the show, we got our concert-coiffed selves into the jeep and headed to rhode island ...
yeah. by the time we got there, we thought we'd be late. so we walk in - an hour before averi does, before most people did, for that matter. which gave us plenty of time to freeze ... the place was so cold. there had been some pipe issues after the deep freeze and, long story short, it was cold. you could see your breath kind of cold. but we wound up getting to enjoy a space heater that charlie, the owner/bartender, placed before us ... we had the best seats in the house.
averi wound up being the second of three bands and went on to play a ... well, it was cold, they weren't using the keyboards for whatever reason and many people there - audience, musician or otherwise - were using alcohol to warm up (hey, i was too). so we all just made the best of it and had fun being the few members of the "x averi team." the extreme fans ...
chatted with some of michelle's friends who i've met numerous times at various shows, met a couple of new people, which is always fun. said hello to a couple of the averi guys, which was nice. encouraged an averi show in burlington ... we'll see if that happens. then rocked out on the way home and just had a good time catching up with michelle ... good night, random adventures. sure we didn't get lost. and if the place was warm, the living room would actually be a fun place to kick back and relax, in a dan's cafe sort of way. but with it being so cold, would getting lost have really been that bad a thing? hmm ... ponder that ...
anyway, the next day i headed over to my brother's for our catchup time ... music shopping in harvard square (where i finally found a copy of guster's "parachute" - hurrah!) and just lounged around. i came across the pendant currently hanging from my neck ... pewter with the rune of communication. reading the information that came with it and considering the writer's block i've gotten so frustrated with lately, i figured it would be perfect. the rune of communication for the girl about to be a full-time communicator ... how can i go wrong?
all in all, a wonderful time ... three fabulous days and a weekend that gave me a much-needed ego boost ... delightful.
... thank you music, the road and massachusetts.
yesterday afternoon, tom and i sat in a dark green booth at grasshopper, enjoying food i've heard him rave about since he moved ot boston. sure enough, i enjoyed the closest thing to hop sing general's chicken i've had anywhere. who would have thought i'd find a dead ringer for burlington chinese chicken at a vegan restaurant in allston?
as i tried to hide the fact that i haven't used chopsticks in eons, i chatted with tom about how he found the place. he informed me that the restaurant is a hotspot for punks and hipsters, then commenting on the fact that both were represented at our booth. as the mohawk and punk gear was still in full effect across the table from me, i raised an eyebrow and asked if he was trying to refer to his beloved sister as a darkly sarcastic hipster.
his response amused me to no end (and fine, yes, it secretly pleased me). taking a moment to contemplate the best choice of words while popping a floret of broccoli into his mouth, he carefully replied. looking at my general personality, he would have to go with no because i tend to be too optimistic for strict hipsterdom. while i did dye my normally sunny blonde hair darker, it wasn't black, which also helped the argument against my being a hipster.
but, he countered, i am frequently very sarcastic and he knew i "have a tendancy to be a cynical bitch" when i want to be (i took no offense, as it was stated matter-of-factly and he's said more than once that he gets a kick out of my cynicism). and as far as my interests and preferences, they all foray into hipster territory.
thus, the final analysis: "you are someone possessing the characteristics and interests of a hipster without the pretention that comes with identifying oneself as a hipster."
as i opened my mouth to laugh, he added the kicker.
"except when it comes to music."
he then went into a quite indepth analysis of my musical taste and attitudes, based on previous conversations and particularly the chat we had just finished on the train on the way to allston. during the train ride, i filled him in on my conversation with michelle the night before, when we discussed how much mayer each of us could listen to and how we viewed him both prefame and now, he nodded in understanding, then asking me how i felt about the success of mraz and howie in comparison. as i rolled my eyes at references to "the remedy" (but, i should note, grinned like a fool when he said he really liked "you & i both"), he heard me discuss the wonder of an intimate show with people who really love the music and not the hype.
my soapbox moment came back to bite me, as he described my musical hipster pretention. but it was all good, he assured me, as he's proud of being a pretentious punk.
later in the afternoon, we waited for the bus to pick us up across from the "jim did it sign company" (love it) and bring us back to harvard square and i learned the intricate punk dance steps. my favorite is the two-step, pizza-maker combo. i suppose the fun may have been lost on those driving by, as two twenty-somethings were flailing about at a bus stop on a sunday afternoon, but we kept warm and i was loving every second of it.
as he gave me a hug and thanked me for such a fun afternoon at the alewife station, i thanked him for the perfect end to a fantastic weekend. in truth, i can't recall having three days of constant fun in ages.
there's no way i can do justice to it all, but i'll do quick summaries. friday night found beth and myself taking on the gavin degraw/vaco/michael tolcher show at uvm, where we realized how old we were and how long it's been since we attended a college (read: see and be seen) concert.
vaco is crazy and would make a great headliner. gavin would make a fine headliner as long as he let loose from the beginning of his set - and had more original material to work with. his cover of "let's get it on" will go down as the second best cover i've ever heard live (first place going to pmb/vaco/hd covering "sympathy for the devil" at paradise circa 12.28.00). for the rest of his set, he was great, although for some reason i found myself singing "i don't wanna be" with my cartman voice for the rest of the evening and much of the following morning. good times, 1 a.m. pizza/breadstick calls and the first homemade vodka/sprite drinks since college days.
after writing my column and sending it in, i headed down to massachusetts late saturday morning, greeting the boston skyline with glee when i drove around the bend on 95. i love that moment.
i do not, unfortunately, love the results of the big dig. i hate the tunnel going beneath the city ... i love massachusetts drivers. i consider myself a massachusetts driver by birth and get in touch with my flatlander roots as soon as cross the state lines. but i'm not crazy about tunnels as is, and being in a new tunnel with a whole bunch of massachusetts drivers ... not so much. especially since one of my favorite things about the drive is driving through the city ...
after arriving in quincy, i caught up with michelle and rita before michelle and i decided to try to prevent any debacles like our last trip to providence. therefore, we looked up what time the show was set to begin and found directions to the living room ... i thought we'd really covered our arses. so, with the plan to drive in, get dinner somewhere nice, then hit up the show, we got our concert-coiffed selves into the jeep and headed to rhode island ...
yeah. by the time we got there, we thought we'd be late. so we walk in - an hour before averi does, before most people did, for that matter. which gave us plenty of time to freeze ... the place was so cold. there had been some pipe issues after the deep freeze and, long story short, it was cold. you could see your breath kind of cold. but we wound up getting to enjoy a space heater that charlie, the owner/bartender, placed before us ... we had the best seats in the house.
averi wound up being the second of three bands and went on to play a ... well, it was cold, they weren't using the keyboards for whatever reason and many people there - audience, musician or otherwise - were using alcohol to warm up (hey, i was too). so we all just made the best of it and had fun being the few members of the "x averi team." the extreme fans ...
chatted with some of michelle's friends who i've met numerous times at various shows, met a couple of new people, which is always fun. said hello to a couple of the averi guys, which was nice. encouraged an averi show in burlington ... we'll see if that happens. then rocked out on the way home and just had a good time catching up with michelle ... good night, random adventures. sure we didn't get lost. and if the place was warm, the living room would actually be a fun place to kick back and relax, in a dan's cafe sort of way. but with it being so cold, would getting lost have really been that bad a thing? hmm ... ponder that ...
anyway, the next day i headed over to my brother's for our catchup time ... music shopping in harvard square (where i finally found a copy of guster's "parachute" - hurrah!) and just lounged around. i came across the pendant currently hanging from my neck ... pewter with the rune of communication. reading the information that came with it and considering the writer's block i've gotten so frustrated with lately, i figured it would be perfect. the rune of communication for the girl about to be a full-time communicator ... how can i go wrong?
all in all, a wonderful time ... three fabulous days and a weekend that gave me a much-needed ego boost ... delightful.
... thank you music, the road and massachusetts.
1.23.2004
they changed my traffic signs to a brighter yellow
it's ridiculous how giddy i am. it's fantastic, how giddy i am. i'm sitting in my living room, waiting for beth to arrive before we head over to uvm and i'm the same bouncing, lit-up-with-delight bundle of relief, excitement and enthusiasm i've been since three this afternoon.
i should be more mature about these kinds of things, but let's face it - i missed out on it last time. i was thrilled about the opportunity to work on the hill and move to d.c., but so much of the excitement was wrapped up in nervousness and anxiety - about where i would live, who i would (or, i should say, shouldn't) meet, how i would manage everything that comes with a first job and the realization that i didn't know the first thing about politics.
when i thought about it and became excited, i became equally tense about the unknown.
and now? i have an apartment, i have a network of people, i have a sense of familiarity associated with the job. after all, i just left the newsroom a month ago - it's not like all that much will have changed.
but i know i enjoy it. i know i get along with my co-workers and i have a comradery of sorts because they know i am capable of my responsibilities.
and i know i'm getting my foot in the door and i'm going to be able to make the first steps in the direction of whatever i'm fated to do.
the news couldn't have come on a better afternoon. a long day in fair haven had just ended and i was psyching myself up for the weekend - stress be damned, it's my time to have fun!
beth's here, gotta run.
it's ridiculous how giddy i am. it's fantastic, how giddy i am. i'm sitting in my living room, waiting for beth to arrive before we head over to uvm and i'm the same bouncing, lit-up-with-delight bundle of relief, excitement and enthusiasm i've been since three this afternoon.
i should be more mature about these kinds of things, but let's face it - i missed out on it last time. i was thrilled about the opportunity to work on the hill and move to d.c., but so much of the excitement was wrapped up in nervousness and anxiety - about where i would live, who i would (or, i should say, shouldn't) meet, how i would manage everything that comes with a first job and the realization that i didn't know the first thing about politics.
when i thought about it and became excited, i became equally tense about the unknown.
and now? i have an apartment, i have a network of people, i have a sense of familiarity associated with the job. after all, i just left the newsroom a month ago - it's not like all that much will have changed.
but i know i enjoy it. i know i get along with my co-workers and i have a comradery of sorts because they know i am capable of my responsibilities.
and i know i'm getting my foot in the door and i'm going to be able to make the first steps in the direction of whatever i'm fated to do.
the news couldn't have come on a better afternoon. a long day in fair haven had just ended and i was psyching myself up for the weekend - stress be damned, it's my time to have fun!
beth's here, gotta run.
let the weekend begin.
it is going to be a fabulous weekend. i know it with every bit of my being.
why?
BECAUSE I WILL SOON BE A FULL-TIME JOURNALIST!!!!
yes, ladies and gentlemen, it finally happened - i was offered a job.
what more do i need to say?
are we celebrating this weekend?
hells yeah we are!
XOXOXOXOXOLOVEYOUALLXOXOXOXOXOXOXO - vickie
it is going to be a fabulous weekend. i know it with every bit of my being.
why?
yes, ladies and gentlemen, it finally happened - i was offered a job.
what more do i need to say?
are we celebrating this weekend?
hells yeah we are!
XOXOXOXOXOLOVEYOUALLXOXOXOXOXOXOXO - vickie
1.22.2004
hips, hiccups and hitting the road
a pair of old women sat in a warmly decorated room, one in an armchair, the other nestled into the corner of a couch. each had a blanket tucked round her legs. a dog rested on a rug in front of the television, curled and content.
the women watched television and laughed, enjoying the last bites of black raspberry ice cream in their bowls and the company they were keeping. when the television show came to a close, the woman on the couch yawned and said, "well, i've got to head home."
they shifted from their comfortable positions and laughed upon hearing the creaking complaint from one of the women's hip and knee. the other woman's laughter quickly became a series of uncontrollable hiccups, which sent them into further hysterics. when the creaky hip woman laughed, she moved, causing the knee to creak again. the hiccupping lady was gasping because the harder she laughed, the harder and more cartoonish the hiccups sounded.
"yep," creaky joint lady said. "we're old."
it's all downhill now - the bodies and minds are slowly breaking down at 23.
tomorrow begins my weekend on the road - full of bass chords, flashing stage lights and travel. looking forward to enjoying the open road, my stack of unearthed cds (rediscovered after the great victoria car cleaning this afternoon) and the expectations that a wandering weekend whispers in my ear.
i'll blow another kiss to my beloved boston skyline. i'll see providence for the first time since the last attempt at enjoying old mayer, eastern market, "unmaking the band," and naivite. i'll see familiar faces, enjoy hugs and singalongs. i'll be able to enjoy some quality time with my brother. and i'll be able to try to feel carefree for a few brief days.
i'll relish it, trust me.
now the traffic in the flashing shadows of the final glow
are just a rush of burning chariots driven by the ancient lure of home.
and with my hands tucked deep down in my pockets
i see my own breadth in the light
of the east that holds and soothes me
as i spin west into friday night...
- marah, east
a pair of old women sat in a warmly decorated room, one in an armchair, the other nestled into the corner of a couch. each had a blanket tucked round her legs. a dog rested on a rug in front of the television, curled and content.
the women watched television and laughed, enjoying the last bites of black raspberry ice cream in their bowls and the company they were keeping. when the television show came to a close, the woman on the couch yawned and said, "well, i've got to head home."
they shifted from their comfortable positions and laughed upon hearing the creaking complaint from one of the women's hip and knee. the other woman's laughter quickly became a series of uncontrollable hiccups, which sent them into further hysterics. when the creaky hip woman laughed, she moved, causing the knee to creak again. the hiccupping lady was gasping because the harder she laughed, the harder and more cartoonish the hiccups sounded.
"yep," creaky joint lady said. "we're old."
it's all downhill now - the bodies and minds are slowly breaking down at 23.
tomorrow begins my weekend on the road - full of bass chords, flashing stage lights and travel. looking forward to enjoying the open road, my stack of unearthed cds (rediscovered after the great victoria car cleaning this afternoon) and the expectations that a wandering weekend whispers in my ear.
i'll blow another kiss to my beloved boston skyline. i'll see providence for the first time since the last attempt at enjoying old mayer, eastern market, "unmaking the band," and naivite. i'll see familiar faces, enjoy hugs and singalongs. i'll be able to enjoy some quality time with my brother. and i'll be able to try to feel carefree for a few brief days.
i'll relish it, trust me.
now the traffic in the flashing shadows of the final glow
are just a rush of burning chariots driven by the ancient lure of home.
and with my hands tucked deep down in my pockets
i see my own breadth in the light
of the east that holds and soothes me
as i spin west into friday night...
- marah, east
1.21.2004
that's the biz, kid ...
a couple of entertainment business-related observations for the day ...
went to the filming this evening, which i will be unable to write about for this week's column, i learned - after filming wrapped, that is. so, after taking nearly minute-by-minute notes on the experience, it's all going to that big notepad in the sky ...
but the experience was interesting and fun in its own hurry-up-and-wait way. there were many people there who obviously had never done anything with theater or film before, which made for amusing times. quite cute really (she writes as she realizes how condescending she sounds). we spent just over two hours clapping, screaming and clapping for the actor, who stood on stage and bowed for us (and, when he wasn't on camera, prompted more catcalls with a rather risque little tease, might i add). i enjoyed the experience - so much that i'll be going back tomorrow morning to most likely work as an extra in burlington. there is supposed to be money involved - i figure if it covers my gavin ticket, i'll be a happy camper.
speaking of money ... i was floored to see how much my favorite musicians are asking for to perform these days ... from the clear channel college entertainment site (which, might i add, features a photo of averi on its main page ...):
- averi: $1 - 2k (not bad at all)
- matt nathanson: $3 - 5 k (another reason why we <3 matt)
- pat mcgee band: $10 - 15k (pretty much what they were asking for when we tried to get them for the benefit concert)
- rufus wainwright: $15 - 20k (not too shabby)
- howie day (full band): $20 - 25k (ouch)
- guster: $30- 40 k (they've been touring for how long now - they deserve it)
- jason mraz: $50 - 75k (includes lights and sound - but i'm still justifiably floored. i'm not crazy about the whole light spectacular - i just want to see jason, ian and toca jam. no need for the other shite.)
and, of course:
- john mayer: call for pricing. because if the policy is the same as when we were band-hunting for the benefit, mayer's people don't offer a price because they accept bids. bids=lame.
mraz-related: listened to "melt with you," his contribution to the "50 first dates" soundtrack. vocals are great. song=i hate it. the background music is so 80s, so electronic, so busy that i remember why i prefer looking back on the 80s fondly to actually living through the 80s.
and anyway, how can you possibly top modern english? honestly ...
a couple of entertainment business-related observations for the day ...
went to the filming this evening, which i will be unable to write about for this week's column, i learned - after filming wrapped, that is. so, after taking nearly minute-by-minute notes on the experience, it's all going to that big notepad in the sky ...
but the experience was interesting and fun in its own hurry-up-and-wait way. there were many people there who obviously had never done anything with theater or film before, which made for amusing times. quite cute really (she writes as she realizes how condescending she sounds). we spent just over two hours clapping, screaming and clapping for the actor, who stood on stage and bowed for us (and, when he wasn't on camera, prompted more catcalls with a rather risque little tease, might i add). i enjoyed the experience - so much that i'll be going back tomorrow morning to most likely work as an extra in burlington. there is supposed to be money involved - i figure if it covers my gavin ticket, i'll be a happy camper.
speaking of money ... i was floored to see how much my favorite musicians are asking for to perform these days ... from the clear channel college entertainment site (which, might i add, features a photo of averi on its main page ...):
- averi: $1 - 2k (not bad at all)
- matt nathanson: $3 - 5 k (another reason why we <3 matt)
- pat mcgee band: $10 - 15k (pretty much what they were asking for when we tried to get them for the benefit concert)
- rufus wainwright: $15 - 20k (not too shabby)
- howie day (full band): $20 - 25k (ouch)
- guster: $30- 40 k (they've been touring for how long now - they deserve it)
- jason mraz: $50 - 75k (includes lights and sound - but i'm still justifiably floored. i'm not crazy about the whole light spectacular - i just want to see jason, ian and toca jam. no need for the other shite.)
and, of course:
- john mayer: call for pricing. because if the policy is the same as when we were band-hunting for the benefit, mayer's people don't offer a price because they accept bids. bids=lame.
mraz-related: listened to "melt with you," his contribution to the "50 first dates" soundtrack. vocals are great. song=i hate it. the background music is so 80s, so electronic, so busy that i remember why i prefer looking back on the 80s fondly to actually living through the 80s.
and anyway, how can you possibly top modern english? honestly ...
1.20.2004
the theatricality of politics
you spin me round
round baby
round round
like a record player
round round
round round
ah, the politicking on the hill ... i will certainly state on the record that i enjoyed watching the political theatrics that went on while i was in dc. watching the state of the union tonight reminded me of it. watching the right side of the house stand up and down constantly, the left only on occasion (and if so, begrudingly) ... watching el presidente puff his chest and pat his administration on the back for a job well done. making even the most questionable of actions appear, as he describes them, pure and noble ... but thank you, tk, for rolling your eyes each time the camera rolled your way. tom brady, i don't know if i can forgive you for being there.
eh, i don't feel like getting into a whole political debate this evening ... i'm just interested in hearing the former bossman's take on the whole thing ... i wonder if he's there. he wasn't last year ... not sure about this year.
really, as i see the president open and shut his mouth and i struggle to not hum the "curious george" theme song, the biggest thought going through my mind is that i wish i'd made my way over to the house chamber while i was working on the hill. that would have been neat ... really, it was the one thing i didn't see. capitol - if i close my eyes, i can still follow the hallways to my various tour spots (and provide my running tourguide commentary) and to the various places in its basement that i would need to go. my favorite, however, was walking out the door just before the flag shop, facing the national mall, hidden in the shade from the camera lenses and visiting eyes ... whenever i'd stop there, i'd stand there, smile and feel proud.
anyway. capitol - check. white house - yep, an abbreviated tour given to the congressional tour coordinators. sipped lemonade on the white house lawn - good times in a surreal sort of way. the house is gorgeous - they should resume tours, if they haven't already. and yes, the highlight was seeing jackie's portrait and seeing the staircase cagney danced on in "yankee doodle dandy" (or, at least the model for the staircase he danced on - not sure how that worked). i wandered through senate and house buildings, went to receptions on all sides, wandered the loc (my favorite place on the hill). just never went into the house chamber.
next time i visit, i'll have to hit up bernie's office. play the tourist. ha!
can it really have been almost six months since i last saw dc???
you spin me round
round baby
round round
like a record player
round round
round round
ah, the politicking on the hill ... i will certainly state on the record that i enjoyed watching the political theatrics that went on while i was in dc. watching the state of the union tonight reminded me of it. watching the right side of the house stand up and down constantly, the left only on occasion (and if so, begrudingly) ... watching el presidente puff his chest and pat his administration on the back for a job well done. making even the most questionable of actions appear, as he describes them, pure and noble ... but thank you, tk, for rolling your eyes each time the camera rolled your way. tom brady, i don't know if i can forgive you for being there.
eh, i don't feel like getting into a whole political debate this evening ... i'm just interested in hearing the former bossman's take on the whole thing ... i wonder if he's there. he wasn't last year ... not sure about this year.
really, as i see the president open and shut his mouth and i struggle to not hum the "curious george" theme song, the biggest thought going through my mind is that i wish i'd made my way over to the house chamber while i was working on the hill. that would have been neat ... really, it was the one thing i didn't see. capitol - if i close my eyes, i can still follow the hallways to my various tour spots (and provide my running tourguide commentary) and to the various places in its basement that i would need to go. my favorite, however, was walking out the door just before the flag shop, facing the national mall, hidden in the shade from the camera lenses and visiting eyes ... whenever i'd stop there, i'd stand there, smile and feel proud.
anyway. capitol - check. white house - yep, an abbreviated tour given to the congressional tour coordinators. sipped lemonade on the white house lawn - good times in a surreal sort of way. the house is gorgeous - they should resume tours, if they haven't already. and yes, the highlight was seeing jackie's portrait and seeing the staircase cagney danced on in "yankee doodle dandy" (or, at least the model for the staircase he danced on - not sure how that worked). i wandered through senate and house buildings, went to receptions on all sides, wandered the loc (my favorite place on the hill). just never went into the house chamber.
next time i visit, i'll have to hit up bernie's office. play the tourist. ha!
can it really have been almost six months since i last saw dc???
a candidate, the capitol and chords, oh my!
i was frightened to see dean's concession-speech-without-actually-conceding statement from last night. i think i would have been completely fine with it (well, fine, i would have been amused, but not frightened) had he not included the primal scream after going through a list of states. may i note that missing from the list was vermont?!?!?!
i only hope the rest of the country does not view vermonters from such a speech. just think about it ... he's pretty much forgotten vermont, so why should we have to be roped in with him? according to time (or was it newsweek?), he's just a former governor from "somewhere up north."
state of the union tonight. it's interesting to think of last year at this point ... from the archives:
let's see--where to begin? the state of the union address was well-written, i must say, and well-structured, from a strategic point of view. let's butter up the audience with mentoring and AIDS research!!! then they'll like us! but wait--where is all of this money for the war going to come from? the money for mentoring and AIDS research. but they don't mention that part...whatever. i'm not a bush fan, nor will i be a bush fan, so it's just how things are. so the highlight for me was seeing him stumble over a part of the speech and have to squint so he could read the teleprompter, which must have been rewound or something. i took pleasure in that. so sue me. ;)
there was a moment before the address, however, when nbc showed a gorgeous shot of the capitol lit up on top of the hill, and i was, as i often have been in the past, amazed by how powerful and beautiful it was. but then i realized--wait! that's right next to where i work each day! i see that all the time! it added to the surreal nature of this experience, something that was only more evident the following evening (how about that for a transition, eh?)
so after the crazy day of wednesday, i decided to take advantage of the opportunities presented to me here and made my way over to dirksen to sit in on the judiciary committee hearing. i'd been interested in seeing what the hearing experiene was like for awhile now, and the added bonus of being able to sit in on a controversial hearing was too much to pass up. so i sat in for about twenty minutes (i would have loved to have stayed longer, but it was already approaching seven and, frankly, i was exhausted and needed to get home!) and, for a few moments, couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that i was sitting in the same room as influential and powerful people i'd never dreamed of sharing space with. i mean, whether i agree with thier politics or not, whether i like their personalities or not, i still can't help but be impressed by the presence each of the senators have. and when a bunch of them are together--wow. so i was sitting there with this smile on my face as i tried to focus on looking responsible and whatnot, thinking dopey thoughts like, "i can't believe i'm listening to ted kennedy!!! i can't believe my boss is up there!!!" etc. etc.
tomorrow includes movie extra time. but standing between me and my moment as extra #137 is this article ... which can't be completed until i hear back from my medical source ... aurgh.
bollocks. i'll relax for a bit instead. perhaps i'll milk cows, drink domestic beer and go vote democrat while i procrastinate. much love to my favorite bastard in the windy city - you forgot tapping trees, making maple syrup and snowshoeing.
or perhaps not. the guitar seems more appealing. i've been working on the intro to "curbside prophet" and am making progress ... granted, it's no "watchtower," but it'll have to do.
side note: watch out paul, when you get up here to visit, i'll be all set for our dave & tim-esque guitar collaboration. hells yeah ...
relaxin the third verse ...
i was frightened to see dean's concession-speech-without-actually-conceding statement from last night. i think i would have been completely fine with it (well, fine, i would have been amused, but not frightened) had he not included the primal scream after going through a list of states. may i note that missing from the list was vermont?!?!?!
i only hope the rest of the country does not view vermonters from such a speech. just think about it ... he's pretty much forgotten vermont, so why should we have to be roped in with him? according to time (or was it newsweek?), he's just a former governor from "somewhere up north."
state of the union tonight. it's interesting to think of last year at this point ... from the archives:
let's see--where to begin? the state of the union address was well-written, i must say, and well-structured, from a strategic point of view. let's butter up the audience with mentoring and AIDS research!!! then they'll like us! but wait--where is all of this money for the war going to come from? the money for mentoring and AIDS research. but they don't mention that part...whatever. i'm not a bush fan, nor will i be a bush fan, so it's just how things are. so the highlight for me was seeing him stumble over a part of the speech and have to squint so he could read the teleprompter, which must have been rewound or something. i took pleasure in that. so sue me. ;)
there was a moment before the address, however, when nbc showed a gorgeous shot of the capitol lit up on top of the hill, and i was, as i often have been in the past, amazed by how powerful and beautiful it was. but then i realized--wait! that's right next to where i work each day! i see that all the time! it added to the surreal nature of this experience, something that was only more evident the following evening (how about that for a transition, eh?)
so after the crazy day of wednesday, i decided to take advantage of the opportunities presented to me here and made my way over to dirksen to sit in on the judiciary committee hearing. i'd been interested in seeing what the hearing experiene was like for awhile now, and the added bonus of being able to sit in on a controversial hearing was too much to pass up. so i sat in for about twenty minutes (i would have loved to have stayed longer, but it was already approaching seven and, frankly, i was exhausted and needed to get home!) and, for a few moments, couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that i was sitting in the same room as influential and powerful people i'd never dreamed of sharing space with. i mean, whether i agree with thier politics or not, whether i like their personalities or not, i still can't help but be impressed by the presence each of the senators have. and when a bunch of them are together--wow. so i was sitting there with this smile on my face as i tried to focus on looking responsible and whatnot, thinking dopey thoughts like, "i can't believe i'm listening to ted kennedy!!! i can't believe my boss is up there!!!" etc. etc.
tomorrow includes movie extra time. but standing between me and my moment as extra #137 is this article ... which can't be completed until i hear back from my medical source ... aurgh.
bollocks. i'll relax for a bit instead. perhaps i'll milk cows, drink domestic beer and go vote democrat while i procrastinate. much love to my favorite bastard in the windy city - you forgot tapping trees, making maple syrup and snowshoeing.
or perhaps not. the guitar seems more appealing. i've been working on the intro to "curbside prophet" and am making progress ... granted, it's no "watchtower," but it'll have to do.
side note: watch out paul, when you get up here to visit, i'll be all set for our dave & tim-esque guitar collaboration. hells yeah ...
relaxin the third verse ...
a pineapple princess
it's not exactly the most comfortable of positions in which to type, but i'm so tickled by my newly arrived furniture that i'm forgoing comfort temporarily. as i write this, i am sprawled across my couch, enjoying the fact that neither my head nor feet are touching either of the couch's arms. it's much larger than anticipated - which, combined with the narrow doorway between my private downstairs foyer and the rest of the apartment upstairs, made for an interesting experience for my pair of laborers. my father and tom, the family friend who provided the furniture, only needed to take off both doors, curse a little and work up an appetite for lunch to get the beast up into my living room ... in actuality, the job was much easier than we all expected. i did my part, poised in the living room with two glasses of cold water waiting for them.
so i now have a couch in the living room and a loveseat in my room. both are exceptionally comfortable, i'm pleased to say, and i know i now need to invest in slipcovers, as they have the most amusing of fabric covering them, but not exactly something that screams victoria. but for the moment, i'm a pineapple princess, the largest pieces of my furniture covered with little tiny pineapples embroidered onto a beige fabric. i feel an obligation to throw a tiki party or something. anyone up for a luau? ;)
interview in a half hour - suppose i should prepare and head over to the interview site ... still waiting to hear from one of my sources. ah, good times. love the pressure of deadline.
xoxoxox - pineapple polly
it's not exactly the most comfortable of positions in which to type, but i'm so tickled by my newly arrived furniture that i'm forgoing comfort temporarily. as i write this, i am sprawled across my couch, enjoying the fact that neither my head nor feet are touching either of the couch's arms. it's much larger than anticipated - which, combined with the narrow doorway between my private downstairs foyer and the rest of the apartment upstairs, made for an interesting experience for my pair of laborers. my father and tom, the family friend who provided the furniture, only needed to take off both doors, curse a little and work up an appetite for lunch to get the beast up into my living room ... in actuality, the job was much easier than we all expected. i did my part, poised in the living room with two glasses of cold water waiting for them.
so i now have a couch in the living room and a loveseat in my room. both are exceptionally comfortable, i'm pleased to say, and i know i now need to invest in slipcovers, as they have the most amusing of fabric covering them, but not exactly something that screams victoria. but for the moment, i'm a pineapple princess, the largest pieces of my furniture covered with little tiny pineapples embroidered onto a beige fabric. i feel an obligation to throw a tiki party or something. anyone up for a luau? ;)
interview in a half hour - suppose i should prepare and head over to the interview site ... still waiting to hear from one of my sources. ah, good times. love the pressure of deadline.
xoxoxox - pineapple polly
1.19.2004
total corruption of the mind
i used to be a nice girl, without any of the warped, evil thoughts i had battered into my brain by evil influences.
ok, i can't even type that without laughing.
anyway, i've found today has held many opportunities to foray into the thoughts and ideas that have paved my way to hell. it's been long determined that i'm already hell-bound - in fact, i'll be driving the shuttle bus between here and eternal damnation. it's all good, though - i've already got a navigator lined up for the job - it'll be a hell of a lot of fun for the rest of all time.
but today has shown just why this is my destined fate. it began while i was in the chapel. the chapel has always held amusing significance for me, as a much younger, more naive version of my freshman self walked by the chapel with a younger version of elizabeth, talking about how amusing it would be to sing "du hast" inside (i should interrupt this post to state that i am nothing but respectful of people's views on religion. i just happen to be questioning and, therefore, often sarcastic. no hate mail/comments please). flash forward to senior year, when beth and i had become friends again and wound up quietly, respectfully singing in the empty chapel one night. it was one of several instances in which we found ways to blaspheme in the chapel. we also found times to tease a devoutely religious friend about the sexual manner in which numerous biblical references could be taken and we did determine that a certain biblical statue in the chapel was demonstrating some utterly un-holy behavior.
anyway. so i'm in the chapel and i feel i have to, for beth, recognize aforementioned statue. so, upon talking to my partner in crime this evening, i inform her of this. she laughs and informs me that, while in her hometown church recently, she found herself looking at the paintings because she realizes the un-holy behavior (known as J.E.) may not be isolated to the statue in the sm chapel. sure enough, a painting seems to depict the same behavior. and she was all excited to tell me.
after laughing about this, i'm still talking to her, but am also looking through some of my old files on my laptop, coming across a weird-al-like take on "you & i both" that i had written right before falling asleep one night months ago. i had watched something ... i don't even recall what, but it featured numerous, numerous marijuana references. so as i'm falling asleep, listening to music, "you & i both" comes on and i all of a sudden have this new song floating through my half-conscious mind. i had to wake up and write it down. while beth (who i shared the song with the next day) and i have been singing these words anytime we hear the song on the radio, on mtv or, in my case, when i'm listening to cds, i hadn't actually read the lyrics in ages ... and i just started laughing. i'd post them, but it's ridiculously embarrassing ... i don't know, perhaps i will. but at the same point, i don't want to seem disrespectful, as i actually love the original song ... hey, weird al always talks about how parody is a form of respect, right?
but it contends with "look at me, i'm adam c" as my favorite parody thus far. teehee.
randomness as i start to nod off for the night ... i'll be drifting to sleep with a smile on my face, having enjoyed smiles, friends and "hey ya" during the sunshine. i'll also probably be listening to two of my new favorite songs - "great life's work" and "strange." i need to buy tickets for friday's concert. i found out that the concert saturday night will be at a divey former strip club - apparently the poles are still there. that could make for fun. ten years ago, i never would have believed i'd buy an issue of rolling stone with my former governor on the cover. i can't think of a single democratic candidate i'd enthusiastically vote for. i think i'll vote for john cusack. i want to find a new book to read (any suggestions?). i want to finally buy a white stripes album. i can't wait to stretch out on my couch tomorrow. i hope i can get my article done. for some reason, i feel extremely optimistic tonight. i hope it continues tomorrow. i'm going to visit california by the end of the summer at the latest - i'm setting something up for a reunion of sorts at that point. a random comment made me wonder about my destiny. i want to visit california before the end of the summer. i need to get to d.c. in the coming months. i can't wait for good concerts. i can't wait for good times. i can't wait for spring.
something good's coming up. don't know what it is, but i'm ready for it.
.....................................................zzz.............................................................
i used to be a nice girl, without any of the warped, evil thoughts i had battered into my brain by evil influences.
ok, i can't even type that without laughing.
anyway, i've found today has held many opportunities to foray into the thoughts and ideas that have paved my way to hell. it's been long determined that i'm already hell-bound - in fact, i'll be driving the shuttle bus between here and eternal damnation. it's all good, though - i've already got a navigator lined up for the job - it'll be a hell of a lot of fun for the rest of all time.
but today has shown just why this is my destined fate. it began while i was in the chapel. the chapel has always held amusing significance for me, as a much younger, more naive version of my freshman self walked by the chapel with a younger version of elizabeth, talking about how amusing it would be to sing "du hast" inside (i should interrupt this post to state that i am nothing but respectful of people's views on religion. i just happen to be questioning and, therefore, often sarcastic. no hate mail/comments please). flash forward to senior year, when beth and i had become friends again and wound up quietly, respectfully singing in the empty chapel one night. it was one of several instances in which we found ways to blaspheme in the chapel. we also found times to tease a devoutely religious friend about the sexual manner in which numerous biblical references could be taken and we did determine that a certain biblical statue in the chapel was demonstrating some utterly un-holy behavior.
anyway. so i'm in the chapel and i feel i have to, for beth, recognize aforementioned statue. so, upon talking to my partner in crime this evening, i inform her of this. she laughs and informs me that, while in her hometown church recently, she found herself looking at the paintings because she realizes the un-holy behavior (known as J.E.) may not be isolated to the statue in the sm chapel. sure enough, a painting seems to depict the same behavior. and she was all excited to tell me.
after laughing about this, i'm still talking to her, but am also looking through some of my old files on my laptop, coming across a weird-al-like take on "you & i both" that i had written right before falling asleep one night months ago. i had watched something ... i don't even recall what, but it featured numerous, numerous marijuana references. so as i'm falling asleep, listening to music, "you & i both" comes on and i all of a sudden have this new song floating through my half-conscious mind. i had to wake up and write it down. while beth (who i shared the song with the next day) and i have been singing these words anytime we hear the song on the radio, on mtv or, in my case, when i'm listening to cds, i hadn't actually read the lyrics in ages ... and i just started laughing. i'd post them, but it's ridiculously embarrassing ... i don't know, perhaps i will. but at the same point, i don't want to seem disrespectful, as i actually love the original song ... hey, weird al always talks about how parody is a form of respect, right?
but it contends with "look at me, i'm adam c" as my favorite parody thus far. teehee.
randomness as i start to nod off for the night ... i'll be drifting to sleep with a smile on my face, having enjoyed smiles, friends and "hey ya" during the sunshine. i'll also probably be listening to two of my new favorite songs - "great life's work" and "strange." i need to buy tickets for friday's concert. i found out that the concert saturday night will be at a divey former strip club - apparently the poles are still there. that could make for fun. ten years ago, i never would have believed i'd buy an issue of rolling stone with my former governor on the cover. i can't think of a single democratic candidate i'd enthusiastically vote for. i think i'll vote for john cusack. i want to find a new book to read (any suggestions?). i want to finally buy a white stripes album. i can't wait to stretch out on my couch tomorrow. i hope i can get my article done. for some reason, i feel extremely optimistic tonight. i hope it continues tomorrow. i'm going to visit california by the end of the summer at the latest - i'm setting something up for a reunion of sorts at that point. a random comment made me wonder about my destiny. i want to visit california before the end of the summer. i need to get to d.c. in the coming months. i can't wait for good concerts. i can't wait for good times. i can't wait for spring.
something good's coming up. don't know what it is, but i'm ready for it.
.....................................................zzz.............................................................
*embarrassed chuckle*
awhile ago, i made a point of making reference to people by first names (unless, naturally, the person in question is particularly well-known, in which case there is little chance of my being embarrassed by anything i write. afterall, it's been well-established that any embarrassing posts i make about famous people are probably proclamations of adoration in one form or another and it's not like those people will ever stumble across my blog). it stemmed from a post from senior year, in which i made reference to two of my housemates, one of which found the blog (or someone in her family? the details are fuzzy). ever since, i've been all about the first name action.
it's not worth it to go back through really old entries and edit them accordingly, but i was both amused and embarrassed to find that someone did find the same embarrassing (now, that is) post by searching for another full name that was included ... i need to remember that this little space here has come up on search engines during some funny, alarming and downright ridiculous searches - but it can also come up on others!
nevertheless. i don't know who was doing the searching, but if it's a prospective casting type, let me say that clinton is a fantastic actor who has impressed me each time i've had a chance to see him perform (although i've not had the opportunity to do so in about two years, i'm sorry to say). if it was the actor himself, well ... um? hi, how've you been? *feeling sheepish*
speaking of college ... went back to campus today, as i accompanied becca to the mlk convocation in the chapel. saw numerous familiar faces and felt the still new awkwardness of being somewhere i used to know so well but now feels incredibly different. standing in front of the chapel, i turned and faced the campus, remembering that, only a few years ago, the buildings, walkways and fellow students were my existance. it was where i spent most of four years and came to feel at home. but now, with so much that has happened since graduation, it takes a moment to understand that. and instead of feeling as if i'm home, i struggle to remember what it felt like to feel at home there.
i'm just old, i suppose. it was great to be there and see everything - i have so many fond memories of the place and am, all things considered, so glad i made the decision to grow, learn, live and love there. but i'm definitely not a college student anymore - and i've got to say that, again all things considered, i suppose i'm glad i'm not. sure, things are odd right now and i miss the old days frequently, but it's just that - i miss them. i wouldn't want them back.
with a hugely busy day tomorrow (the arrival of my couch and loveseat - hurrah!), filled with activity, interviewing and writing, i'm preparing to relax while i can ... i found a great deal on a dvd package during my shopping with becca and am preparing to enjoy "moulin rouge" - one of those movies i've always said i should get but never actually did. it's accompanying movie is "william shakespeare's romeo + juliet," one of those movies that, in retrospect, shaped my life ever so much more than i realized at the time.
it's funny, though, as i was picking up said "we worship baz luhrmann" package, i instantly flashed back to sitting in the small kennedy center room on day one or two of senior year actf, as i and maybe one other critic defended both "r+j" to the rest of the group, met with the playfully scathing look of one in particular as he discussed how much luhrmann butchered shakespeare ...
two years later, i'm still yet to be convinced. bwahaha.
awhile ago, i made a point of making reference to people by first names (unless, naturally, the person in question is particularly well-known, in which case there is little chance of my being embarrassed by anything i write. afterall, it's been well-established that any embarrassing posts i make about famous people are probably proclamations of adoration in one form or another and it's not like those people will ever stumble across my blog). it stemmed from a post from senior year, in which i made reference to two of my housemates, one of which found the blog (or someone in her family? the details are fuzzy). ever since, i've been all about the first name action.
it's not worth it to go back through really old entries and edit them accordingly, but i was both amused and embarrassed to find that someone did find the same embarrassing (now, that is) post by searching for another full name that was included ... i need to remember that this little space here has come up on search engines during some funny, alarming and downright ridiculous searches - but it can also come up on others!
nevertheless. i don't know who was doing the searching, but if it's a prospective casting type, let me say that clinton is a fantastic actor who has impressed me each time i've had a chance to see him perform (although i've not had the opportunity to do so in about two years, i'm sorry to say). if it was the actor himself, well ... um? hi, how've you been? *feeling sheepish*
speaking of college ... went back to campus today, as i accompanied becca to the mlk convocation in the chapel. saw numerous familiar faces and felt the still new awkwardness of being somewhere i used to know so well but now feels incredibly different. standing in front of the chapel, i turned and faced the campus, remembering that, only a few years ago, the buildings, walkways and fellow students were my existance. it was where i spent most of four years and came to feel at home. but now, with so much that has happened since graduation, it takes a moment to understand that. and instead of feeling as if i'm home, i struggle to remember what it felt like to feel at home there.
i'm just old, i suppose. it was great to be there and see everything - i have so many fond memories of the place and am, all things considered, so glad i made the decision to grow, learn, live and love there. but i'm definitely not a college student anymore - and i've got to say that, again all things considered, i suppose i'm glad i'm not. sure, things are odd right now and i miss the old days frequently, but it's just that - i miss them. i wouldn't want them back.
with a hugely busy day tomorrow (the arrival of my couch and loveseat - hurrah!), filled with activity, interviewing and writing, i'm preparing to relax while i can ... i found a great deal on a dvd package during my shopping with becca and am preparing to enjoy "moulin rouge" - one of those movies i've always said i should get but never actually did. it's accompanying movie is "william shakespeare's romeo + juliet," one of those movies that, in retrospect, shaped my life ever so much more than i realized at the time.
it's funny, though, as i was picking up said "we worship baz luhrmann" package, i instantly flashed back to sitting in the small kennedy center room on day one or two of senior year actf, as i and maybe one other critic defended both "r+j" to the rest of the group, met with the playfully scathing look of one in particular as he discussed how much luhrmann butchered shakespeare ...
two years later, i'm still yet to be convinced. bwahaha.
1.18.2004
oy.
i can't help but feel old and slightly disheartened when i visit the message boards these days. i remember when it people were talking about the music ... now it's "how does howie spike his hair???" "any brand names for jason's floppy hat?" "hey, look! it's john and heidi klum!"
was i ever that kind of a fan? i don't believe so ... i hope not ... it's a reality - things'll never be the way they used to. but is it bad that i really don't want howie to go on tour with barenaked ladies? am i wrong for thinking guster deserves someone less sell-out to tour with than john (and it makes me half-wonder if guster is selling out by association)? can you blame me for not wanting mraz to appear on "american dreams" - as dion, no less?
in better news, i'm focusing on musical discovery of my own. nothing like hearing music you've never heard before ... it brings me great joy.
i can't help but feel old and slightly disheartened when i visit the message boards these days. i remember when it people were talking about the music ... now it's "how does howie spike his hair???" "any brand names for jason's floppy hat?" "hey, look! it's john and heidi klum!"
was i ever that kind of a fan? i don't believe so ... i hope not ... it's a reality - things'll never be the way they used to. but is it bad that i really don't want howie to go on tour with barenaked ladies? am i wrong for thinking guster deserves someone less sell-out to tour with than john (and it makes me half-wonder if guster is selling out by association)? can you blame me for not wanting mraz to appear on "american dreams" - as dion, no less?
in better news, i'm focusing on musical discovery of my own. nothing like hearing music you've never heard before ... it brings me great joy.
rising from the ashes ...
i'm working on rebuilding my music collection, after the mishap that cost me all of my college-age mp3s. what can i say? i don't listen to half the stuff, but i just need to know it's there. in case i want to.
at the moment, i'm taking advantage of this computer (southern vt) and its high-speed internet by downloading some concerts i can then enjoy on disc while i'm up north. i'm currently working on two mraz shows (big surprise) i didn't know i could find online ... a 2000 LRC (living room concert) show and, in a major shock to me when i came across it, the 11.18.02 show at higher ground. also known as the show opening for howie day that i cursed up and down while in dc.
aurgh. sundays are a horrible day for freelancers - i've got deadlines approaching, but no one's in their offices ... selfish bastards. ;)
i'm working on rebuilding my music collection, after the mishap that cost me all of my college-age mp3s. what can i say? i don't listen to half the stuff, but i just need to know it's there. in case i want to.
at the moment, i'm taking advantage of this computer (southern vt) and its high-speed internet by downloading some concerts i can then enjoy on disc while i'm up north. i'm currently working on two mraz shows (big surprise) i didn't know i could find online ... a 2000 LRC (living room concert) show and, in a major shock to me when i came across it, the 11.18.02 show at higher ground. also known as the show opening for howie day that i cursed up and down while in dc.
aurgh. sundays are a horrible day for freelancers - i've got deadlines approaching, but no one's in their offices ... selfish bastards. ;)
1.17.2004
forgot to mention i'm insane by definition
when i was younger and would get into bitch mode, my mother would refer to me as "mopey vic." at the moment when i gave a particularly scathing or whiny remark, she'd simply look at me and say, "there she blows!"
well, mopey vic is in rare form this evening. i attribute much of it to the fact that i've been sick all day. while intending to accomplish a great number of things, i wound up writing my column, curling up in my chair, taking naps (during which my phone seemed to ring constantly - sorry to those who called, i didn't feel like moving to answer) or otherwise accomplishing next to nothing. achy head, queasy stomach ... all the fun of an annoying cold without the complete 'well yeah, i'm sick' vibe. a cold tease, if you will.
since it's incredibly difficult to be an optimistic lass when one wants to curl up and die, i spent my semi-conscious hours feeling sorry for myself. well, that's not entirely accurate. it wasn't that i was pitying myself or anything, but the frustration of my lack of forward movement hit home and hit home hard.
i've known for years that i'm meant to be a writer. while the precise details have changed over time and after introductions to various forms of writing, the important part has always remained the same. i'm supposed to write and i'm supposed to make a name for myself doing it. what can i say? i've always been ambitious, i'll always be ambitious and i don't want to ever stop that need to excell at whatever it is i'm doing.
but there's something throwing a big wrench in the plans. the writing has been incredibly difficult lately. it's all-consuming, taking from me my thoughts, my energy and my time. yet i don't feel as if i'm gaining anything in return. what do i have to show for myself right now? i'm a freelancer yet to find out if i'll get a fulltime job. i struggle on a daily basis to come up with something that begins to meet my self-imposed standards and rarely feel as if i've come up with something that makes me happy. i find it impossible to acknowledge the reality that there are times - many times, in fact - at which point you need to simply crank out a story and turn to the next. i can't settle for cranking things out. it's not my nature.
so i'm constantly pushing myself and frustrating myself to meet those standards, probably succeeding only in taking two steps back each time i try to take a single step forward. i'm basically psyching myself out. for the first time, the writing truly feels like work. and it leaves me exhausted.
i can't let the frustration get to me, as i'm still trying to prove to the powers that be that i'm someone they want around on a permanent basis. meanwhile, i'm existing in my little suspended reality, focusing so intently on the fact that i know karma is going to swing back in my favor and i'm going to get what i deserve. but what if i don't? what if it turns out that this was one big wild goose chase to get me up here and i'll be left on my arse to figure out what to do next? what will next be? and if that's the case, how will i be able to focus on the fact that it wasn't me, it was the circumstances? how do i know it's NOT me?
i guess i've always just known that this is what i would do with my life - but now i'm starting to question whether that is actually the reality of the situation. i feel as if there's something that must be coming around the corner to give me a big wake-up call one way or the other, but i'm almost scared to find out what form it will take. i'm 23 years old and i'm supposed to be able to succeed. i don't want to wake up one day, find out i'm 35 and i'm older, alone and not doing what makes me happy. i don't want to be that age and in the same place i'm in now. i want to be doing something exciting with fascinating people and the passion for work and life i've felt in the past. what am i supposed to do if it's not this? where's my big blinking neon sign giving me some form of direction? where are the friendly faces and new adventures around every bend? that's the program i signed up for ...
i guess i'm just in a holding pattern at the moment. and i don't deal well with holding patterns.
i really feel as if i want to get away for a little break - experience something new. the lack of answers professionally, the cold, the solitude ... it's all wearing on me and i want to escape. i want warmth, sunshine and the promise of, if nothing else, something previously unexperienced. california has been on my mind constantly. at least if i was there for a little vaca, i'd be a few times zones away from all the shite here ...
but, alas, must focus on practicality. bollocks. socal, do not give up on me yet - i'll get there sooner or later.
to further add to my sense of befuddlement, i learned that an old boyfriend of mine is now engaged to be married. while it's been years since i've even spoken to said former flame and i've changed so much since that point in my life, the fact that someone who was once so close to me (whether for good or bad i won't even get into) is now preparing to wed. i wasn't concerned with the particular details - hell, could have been anyone - but was struck by the sensation of feeling incredibly old.
when did all this happen? when did former housemates go and get married? when did old boyfriends get engaged? when did i start to worry that everyone i know is going to be on their own paths to happiness and i'll still be wondering where to go?
and why do i have to learn about everything less than pleasant when i'm already feeling less than one hundred percent?
oh now i will be selective, calm, cool and collective
and listening to the voice and its prospective
hoping that the choice is appropriatley respected
protective me
protective me
protective me
protective me
but i would like a little sugar in my coffee
i would like a little dream
and i'd prefer another smoke before the morning or anything else in between
bah. it's one of those days from which i must simply hide beneath the covers. i'll close my eyes, wish these 24 hours away and wake up to sunshine and a new day - a blank page.
when i was younger and would get into bitch mode, my mother would refer to me as "mopey vic." at the moment when i gave a particularly scathing or whiny remark, she'd simply look at me and say, "there she blows!"
well, mopey vic is in rare form this evening. i attribute much of it to the fact that i've been sick all day. while intending to accomplish a great number of things, i wound up writing my column, curling up in my chair, taking naps (during which my phone seemed to ring constantly - sorry to those who called, i didn't feel like moving to answer) or otherwise accomplishing next to nothing. achy head, queasy stomach ... all the fun of an annoying cold without the complete 'well yeah, i'm sick' vibe. a cold tease, if you will.
since it's incredibly difficult to be an optimistic lass when one wants to curl up and die, i spent my semi-conscious hours feeling sorry for myself. well, that's not entirely accurate. it wasn't that i was pitying myself or anything, but the frustration of my lack of forward movement hit home and hit home hard.
i've known for years that i'm meant to be a writer. while the precise details have changed over time and after introductions to various forms of writing, the important part has always remained the same. i'm supposed to write and i'm supposed to make a name for myself doing it. what can i say? i've always been ambitious, i'll always be ambitious and i don't want to ever stop that need to excell at whatever it is i'm doing.
but there's something throwing a big wrench in the plans. the writing has been incredibly difficult lately. it's all-consuming, taking from me my thoughts, my energy and my time. yet i don't feel as if i'm gaining anything in return. what do i have to show for myself right now? i'm a freelancer yet to find out if i'll get a fulltime job. i struggle on a daily basis to come up with something that begins to meet my self-imposed standards and rarely feel as if i've come up with something that makes me happy. i find it impossible to acknowledge the reality that there are times - many times, in fact - at which point you need to simply crank out a story and turn to the next. i can't settle for cranking things out. it's not my nature.
so i'm constantly pushing myself and frustrating myself to meet those standards, probably succeeding only in taking two steps back each time i try to take a single step forward. i'm basically psyching myself out. for the first time, the writing truly feels like work. and it leaves me exhausted.
i can't let the frustration get to me, as i'm still trying to prove to the powers that be that i'm someone they want around on a permanent basis. meanwhile, i'm existing in my little suspended reality, focusing so intently on the fact that i know karma is going to swing back in my favor and i'm going to get what i deserve. but what if i don't? what if it turns out that this was one big wild goose chase to get me up here and i'll be left on my arse to figure out what to do next? what will next be? and if that's the case, how will i be able to focus on the fact that it wasn't me, it was the circumstances? how do i know it's NOT me?
i guess i've always just known that this is what i would do with my life - but now i'm starting to question whether that is actually the reality of the situation. i feel as if there's something that must be coming around the corner to give me a big wake-up call one way or the other, but i'm almost scared to find out what form it will take. i'm 23 years old and i'm supposed to be able to succeed. i don't want to wake up one day, find out i'm 35 and i'm older, alone and not doing what makes me happy. i don't want to be that age and in the same place i'm in now. i want to be doing something exciting with fascinating people and the passion for work and life i've felt in the past. what am i supposed to do if it's not this? where's my big blinking neon sign giving me some form of direction? where are the friendly faces and new adventures around every bend? that's the program i signed up for ...
i guess i'm just in a holding pattern at the moment. and i don't deal well with holding patterns.
i really feel as if i want to get away for a little break - experience something new. the lack of answers professionally, the cold, the solitude ... it's all wearing on me and i want to escape. i want warmth, sunshine and the promise of, if nothing else, something previously unexperienced. california has been on my mind constantly. at least if i was there for a little vaca, i'd be a few times zones away from all the shite here ...
but, alas, must focus on practicality. bollocks. socal, do not give up on me yet - i'll get there sooner or later.
to further add to my sense of befuddlement, i learned that an old boyfriend of mine is now engaged to be married. while it's been years since i've even spoken to said former flame and i've changed so much since that point in my life, the fact that someone who was once so close to me (whether for good or bad i won't even get into) is now preparing to wed. i wasn't concerned with the particular details - hell, could have been anyone - but was struck by the sensation of feeling incredibly old.
when did all this happen? when did former housemates go and get married? when did old boyfriends get engaged? when did i start to worry that everyone i know is going to be on their own paths to happiness and i'll still be wondering where to go?
and why do i have to learn about everything less than pleasant when i'm already feeling less than one hundred percent?
oh now i will be selective, calm, cool and collective
and listening to the voice and its prospective
hoping that the choice is appropriatley respected
protective me
protective me
protective me
protective me
but i would like a little sugar in my coffee
i would like a little dream
and i'd prefer another smoke before the morning or anything else in between
bah. it's one of those days from which i must simply hide beneath the covers. i'll close my eyes, wish these 24 hours away and wake up to sunshine and a new day - a blank page.
1.16.2004
random incoherencies.
i need to begin writing this week's column, so i don't wake up tomorrow morning to a blank page and an ever-so-rapidly approaching deadline. but before i do, a few general amusements ...
i haven't been so happy about a happy meal toy in ages. perhaps it was due to the incredibly ridiculous cold we suffered through today, perhaps it was due to losing power for an hour, perhaps due to my perpetually skewed little brain. whatever the reason, i came across one of the new "lilo & stitch" happy meal toys today ... it's called "rude stitch" and features the pesky little alien with his ears falling down behind him, beyond his shoulders, a big grin on his face, huge sunglasses blocking his little alien eyes. technically, you're supposed to be able to push play-dough through the little hole in his mouth so he's forming a gene simmons-style tongue that's just sticking out there for the world to see.
but i found myself thinking of a different musician ... with the ears the way they are (god i wish i could find a picture online to prove my point) and the big sunglasses and the grin, i found myself singing "did i fool ya?" all day long ... i now have one in my posession that i am calling not stitch, but lil' toca. i swear, if toca was blue, it would be him. it amused me to no end and continues to do so now. it just needs a teensie little gnomie and it would be all set.
i've found that what they say is true ... no one ever remembers the good things you say when you're a critic. they always remember the bad and they'll always bring it up. it amused me. i still knocked the play, even a few months later. as if i won't stand by my word? riiiiiight.
uncle crispy videos are splendiferous.
the cold is driving me mad, i need to be somewhere warm. my jokes about visiting cali are starting to seem more and more like a damn good idea ... earthquakes be ready, my frozen toes will welcome you over this hell any day. nowhere should be this cold. i never remember it being so cold in my past ... what gives?
and, finally, the friday five:
1. what does it say in the signature line of your emails?
depends on if i feel like deleting the sig or not. in most cases i do, so i really don't know why i even have sigs with my various email accounts. nevertheless, that's not the nature of the inquiry. sigs include (in no particular order of which account i use most frequently or anything) "she can crawl out of frame while she's hanging on the wall," "but i'm not even sure i'm a real bohemian revolutionary!" or *victoria*.
2. did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? what was it?
yes. it was "even a fool knows you cannot reach the stars, but that does not stop the wise man from trying."
3. if you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read?
i don't think i'd ever get vanity plates. anyway, even if i wanted them, i'd have to move to another state, as the vermont "writer" vanity plate is already taken, i've been informed. otherwise, perhaps ... *pondering* maybe "revel."
4. have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? what did the inscription say?
indeed i have. "you are my sunshine."
5. what would you like your epitaph to be?
hmm ... i'd like to think that others would know me well enough to come up with something appropriate ... besides, thinking of one's own epitaph is a bit creepy. that said, one then must figure out what one is referring to with "epitaph." as in tombstone? or the brief written comentary on the deceased's life?
if it's a tombstone, i hope the word "dreamer" makes an appearance.
if it's a commentary, i hope "dreamistic" comes into play. i read that in an obit a little over a year ago and loved it. i'd also hope the commentary includes that i was much loved, surrounded by laughter. successful wouldn't hurt, either. but, then again, that's as long as those words are appropriate for my life. don't sugarcoat things, tell people about the life i actually lived, know what i mean? if i wind up being a craggy old bitch, i want people to know that, dammit.
i need to begin writing this week's column, so i don't wake up tomorrow morning to a blank page and an ever-so-rapidly approaching deadline. but before i do, a few general amusements ...
i haven't been so happy about a happy meal toy in ages. perhaps it was due to the incredibly ridiculous cold we suffered through today, perhaps it was due to losing power for an hour, perhaps due to my perpetually skewed little brain. whatever the reason, i came across one of the new "lilo & stitch" happy meal toys today ... it's called "rude stitch" and features the pesky little alien with his ears falling down behind him, beyond his shoulders, a big grin on his face, huge sunglasses blocking his little alien eyes. technically, you're supposed to be able to push play-dough through the little hole in his mouth so he's forming a gene simmons-style tongue that's just sticking out there for the world to see.
but i found myself thinking of a different musician ... with the ears the way they are (god i wish i could find a picture online to prove my point) and the big sunglasses and the grin, i found myself singing "did i fool ya?" all day long ... i now have one in my posession that i am calling not stitch, but lil' toca. i swear, if toca was blue, it would be him. it amused me to no end and continues to do so now. it just needs a teensie little gnomie and it would be all set.
i've found that what they say is true ... no one ever remembers the good things you say when you're a critic. they always remember the bad and they'll always bring it up. it amused me. i still knocked the play, even a few months later. as if i won't stand by my word? riiiiiight.
uncle crispy videos are splendiferous.
the cold is driving me mad, i need to be somewhere warm. my jokes about visiting cali are starting to seem more and more like a damn good idea ... earthquakes be ready, my frozen toes will welcome you over this hell any day. nowhere should be this cold. i never remember it being so cold in my past ... what gives?
and, finally, the friday five:
1. what does it say in the signature line of your emails?
depends on if i feel like deleting the sig or not. in most cases i do, so i really don't know why i even have sigs with my various email accounts. nevertheless, that's not the nature of the inquiry. sigs include (in no particular order of which account i use most frequently or anything) "she can crawl out of frame while she's hanging on the wall," "but i'm not even sure i'm a real bohemian revolutionary!" or *victoria*.
2. did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? what was it?
yes. it was "even a fool knows you cannot reach the stars, but that does not stop the wise man from trying."
3. if you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read?
i don't think i'd ever get vanity plates. anyway, even if i wanted them, i'd have to move to another state, as the vermont "writer" vanity plate is already taken, i've been informed. otherwise, perhaps ... *pondering* maybe "revel."
4. have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? what did the inscription say?
indeed i have. "you are my sunshine."
5. what would you like your epitaph to be?
hmm ... i'd like to think that others would know me well enough to come up with something appropriate ... besides, thinking of one's own epitaph is a bit creepy. that said, one then must figure out what one is referring to with "epitaph." as in tombstone? or the brief written comentary on the deceased's life?
if it's a tombstone, i hope the word "dreamer" makes an appearance.
if it's a commentary, i hope "dreamistic" comes into play. i read that in an obit a little over a year ago and loved it. i'd also hope the commentary includes that i was much loved, surrounded by laughter. successful wouldn't hurt, either. but, then again, that's as long as those words are appropriate for my life. don't sugarcoat things, tell people about the life i actually lived, know what i mean? if i wind up being a craggy old bitch, i want people to know that, dammit.
1.15.2004
apples and oranges of the furniture variety.
obviously, we know the heart-wrenching experience i have had regarding my college couch. i'm slowly coming to terms that it'll never again hold a spot in victoria living quarters.
that said ... turns out a friend of the family is looking to get rid of some of his furniture ... and i've been offered a couch, a loveseat AND a rocking recliner. for no cost, although i'm certainly going to give him something for it.
the three pieces will never replace my wise $40 investment of years ago, but i firmly believe that the gods are smiling upon me after the couch-napping my brother committed and karma is back in my favor.
i'll be able to spread out in the comfortable furnishings my living room requires while my old couch will continue to flourish in college living quarters. only difference is that those quarters are now in somerville instead of burlington.
speaking of the boston area ... next weekend holds much music, traveling and laughs, i hope. friday night - degraw/tolcher/vaco in burlington. saturday - road trip to the greater boston area, where i will blow my customary kiss to the skyline and figure out how the hell to get there. saturday night - averi in providence. sunday afternoon - visit somerville, hopefully grasshopper, before a return to all things burlington.
side note: see "big fish." i highly recommend it. alison lohman's resemblence to jessica lange is almost eerie, while ewan mcgregor turns his zip accent from "down with love" into a delight. beth asked if the story was logical in its progession - i'll say that it is not, but there's a logic in its lack of logic. it's worth seeing in the theater.
that said, will they just name "2" "spiderman 2" already? the "2" title in the trailer continues to piss me off.
***editor's note: please update list to the following: couch, loveseat, rocking recliner, possible recliner, desk, and wooden stand. thank you, karma gods ...***
obviously, we know the heart-wrenching experience i have had regarding my college couch. i'm slowly coming to terms that it'll never again hold a spot in victoria living quarters.
that said ... turns out a friend of the family is looking to get rid of some of his furniture ... and i've been offered a couch, a loveseat AND a rocking recliner. for no cost, although i'm certainly going to give him something for it.
the three pieces will never replace my wise $40 investment of years ago, but i firmly believe that the gods are smiling upon me after the couch-napping my brother committed and karma is back in my favor.
i'll be able to spread out in the comfortable furnishings my living room requires while my old couch will continue to flourish in college living quarters. only difference is that those quarters are now in somerville instead of burlington.
speaking of the boston area ... next weekend holds much music, traveling and laughs, i hope. friday night - degraw/tolcher/vaco in burlington. saturday - road trip to the greater boston area, where i will blow my customary kiss to the skyline and figure out how the hell to get there. saturday night - averi in providence. sunday afternoon - visit somerville, hopefully grasshopper, before a return to all things burlington.
side note: see "big fish." i highly recommend it. alison lohman's resemblence to jessica lange is almost eerie, while ewan mcgregor turns his zip accent from "down with love" into a delight. beth asked if the story was logical in its progession - i'll say that it is not, but there's a logic in its lack of logic. it's worth seeing in the theater.
that said, will they just name "2" "spiderman 2" already? the "2" title in the trailer continues to piss me off.
***editor's note: please update list to the following: couch, loveseat, rocking recliner, possible recliner, desk, and wooden stand. thank you, karma gods ...***
sweet is the sight ...
when i first heard "she says" almost four years ago (really, just under four years now), i was sure i'd heard the song before. on the radio or something, i wasn't sure where. when i asked howie if it had gotten airplay, he gave me a quizzical look and replied that he didn't believe it would have reached any radio airwaves near me.
i was sure it would be on the radio in no time - it was too good a song to stay underground.
tonight, i watched howie on letterman, performing "she says," the third single off the album and probably one of my favorite all-time songs. if i closed my eyes, i could have imagined myself back at the coffeehouse either time he performed there. or at either of the paradise shows i enjoyed - rocking out at the 12.28.00 show from the balcony, where i performed the now-infamous doubletake or looking up at him from the front row as he sang the song immediately in front of me at the 6.18.01 show - or at the ironhorse. or at the mhz studios, where i tried to focus on the music and not the blinking lights of the television cameras. or in fairfax as he opened for tori. or finally headlining again in boston, this time at avalon.
i've heard that song live so many times in so many different places - i haven't heard any song live as many times as i've heard "she says" and i love it every time.
the letterman performance was decent enough, i suppose ... pretty straightforward, lacking his typical energy, but hey ... it's a mainstream perforamance and considering all the jazz about last week's "i was supposed to be on but then i wasn't" i was happy to see he was on at all. not as good as the other performances i've seen/heard/experienced, but hey. it was "she says." on television. good god.
it's about time it reached the rest of the world, but i'm not quite sure if i'm ready to let the rest of the world share in it. they'd just better appreciate what they're hearing.
congratulations and happy birthday, howie.
when i first heard "she says" almost four years ago (really, just under four years now), i was sure i'd heard the song before. on the radio or something, i wasn't sure where. when i asked howie if it had gotten airplay, he gave me a quizzical look and replied that he didn't believe it would have reached any radio airwaves near me.
i was sure it would be on the radio in no time - it was too good a song to stay underground.
tonight, i watched howie on letterman, performing "she says," the third single off the album and probably one of my favorite all-time songs. if i closed my eyes, i could have imagined myself back at the coffeehouse either time he performed there. or at either of the paradise shows i enjoyed - rocking out at the 12.28.00 show from the balcony, where i performed the now-infamous doubletake or looking up at him from the front row as he sang the song immediately in front of me at the 6.18.01 show - or at the ironhorse. or at the mhz studios, where i tried to focus on the music and not the blinking lights of the television cameras. or in fairfax as he opened for tori. or finally headlining again in boston, this time at avalon.
i've heard that song live so many times in so many different places - i haven't heard any song live as many times as i've heard "she says" and i love it every time.
the letterman performance was decent enough, i suppose ... pretty straightforward, lacking his typical energy, but hey ... it's a mainstream perforamance and considering all the jazz about last week's "i was supposed to be on but then i wasn't" i was happy to see he was on at all. not as good as the other performances i've seen/heard/experienced, but hey. it was "she says." on television. good god.
it's about time it reached the rest of the world, but i'm not quite sure if i'm ready to let the rest of the world share in it. they'd just better appreciate what they're hearing.
congratulations and happy birthday, howie.
1.14.2004
back in the hunt.
tomorrow i will be enjoying a lovely training session of how to cover disaster, death and distruction - while it's always helpful to learn from experts about how to cover potentially tricky subjects, it's not exactly the feel-good session of the year ... but i'm looking forward to it nevertheless. armed with some resumes, i intend to storm that place and sell myself (in the prospective job way, not the prostitute way). we shall see what happens ...
i should be preparing for sleep but am instead preparing to tune up my resume and then watch letterman ... howie's performing and i find it somewhat fitting that i should watch it, as by the time his taped segment plays, it will be after midnight, therefore january 15, therefore his 23rd birthday.
i have this thing about birthdays. it takes forever for me to wind up remembering when someone has a birthday, but once i get it into my mind, i rarely forget. i still remember that my friend megean from the middleton days (i moved to vermont when i was five) celebrated her birthday on july 17. don't know why i keep that bit of unnecessary info in the abyss of my mind, but it has simply never left me.
phone numbers tend to be the same way, although not as persistent. i also remember the phone number to my middleton house. but that also is due, i believe, to the fact that it consisted of three different numbers, each of which was on the same column of the keypad. i used to love pretending to dial it as a youngster.
i meant to comment awhile ago about the fact that my musical clone was revealed to me a few days ago ... while talking to me on the phone, beth was perusing the wares on sale at amazon.com, where she came across one of those recommendation lists. you know, someone takes the time to list a whole bunch of cds, books, etc. they particularly enjoy. i think i made a couple back in college, but haven't in ages.
if i were to try to, however, the list beth came across would be a near clone. i can't remember who wrote it, but i wound up finding it by typing in "matt nathanson" into the music selection. there are two posted, one albums, the other singer-songwriter types. check it out. there were only a couple of albums that i don't love, one of which (sondre lerche) i want to listen to, but simply haven't gotten my hands on the album yet. it was rather eerie, really. check it out, be amazed.
speaking of not being able to find things ... i've been searching everywhere for the "mystery white boy" dvd. i can't find it. anyone know of any stores with it in stock?
on a final note before i turn to resume madness ... rilo kiley. 1.20.04, as in next tuesday. middlebury. i think i'm making the trip. any partners in crime?
tomorrow i will be enjoying a lovely training session of how to cover disaster, death and distruction - while it's always helpful to learn from experts about how to cover potentially tricky subjects, it's not exactly the feel-good session of the year ... but i'm looking forward to it nevertheless. armed with some resumes, i intend to storm that place and sell myself (in the prospective job way, not the prostitute way). we shall see what happens ...
i should be preparing for sleep but am instead preparing to tune up my resume and then watch letterman ... howie's performing and i find it somewhat fitting that i should watch it, as by the time his taped segment plays, it will be after midnight, therefore january 15, therefore his 23rd birthday.
i have this thing about birthdays. it takes forever for me to wind up remembering when someone has a birthday, but once i get it into my mind, i rarely forget. i still remember that my friend megean from the middleton days (i moved to vermont when i was five) celebrated her birthday on july 17. don't know why i keep that bit of unnecessary info in the abyss of my mind, but it has simply never left me.
phone numbers tend to be the same way, although not as persistent. i also remember the phone number to my middleton house. but that also is due, i believe, to the fact that it consisted of three different numbers, each of which was on the same column of the keypad. i used to love pretending to dial it as a youngster.
i meant to comment awhile ago about the fact that my musical clone was revealed to me a few days ago ... while talking to me on the phone, beth was perusing the wares on sale at amazon.com, where she came across one of those recommendation lists. you know, someone takes the time to list a whole bunch of cds, books, etc. they particularly enjoy. i think i made a couple back in college, but haven't in ages.
if i were to try to, however, the list beth came across would be a near clone. i can't remember who wrote it, but i wound up finding it by typing in "matt nathanson" into the music selection. there are two posted, one albums, the other singer-songwriter types. check it out. there were only a couple of albums that i don't love, one of which (sondre lerche) i want to listen to, but simply haven't gotten my hands on the album yet. it was rather eerie, really. check it out, be amazed.
speaking of not being able to find things ... i've been searching everywhere for the "mystery white boy" dvd. i can't find it. anyone know of any stores with it in stock?
on a final note before i turn to resume madness ... rilo kiley. 1.20.04, as in next tuesday. middlebury. i think i'm making the trip. any partners in crime?
back from the stone age ...
they said it would never happen, but i finally set up internet at the apartment. so this comes to you from the frozen north of burlington, where the temperature last night and this morning was supposed to reach the coldest lows in 23 years.
needless to say, when someone tells me it's going to be the coldest since i was two and a half months old, i heed their recommendations and stay curled up with movies, work and coffee - speaking of which, i feel a need to thank green mountain coffee roasters for their delightful gingerbread blend, which warmed both my body and spirit this morning. mmm ... java goodness ...
the next days hold a series events that will result in a lot of driving, mingling and hopefully general amusement. today is the great "paint the apartment" day, in which i have some home decorators (ok, my parents) traveling north to help me further beautify the apartment. i'm sure a trip to home depot will result in various new fun accents for the place. i'm probably heading down south this evening, as i will be attending a vermont journalism training session in rutland tomorrow. but after that, i'm back up north to attend a chi-chi reception at the flynn for my column ... then back to southern vermont because i'm working friday ... then, i believe, back up here for the rest of my column. good god, i'm tired just thinking of the driving ... but it should be fun, nevertheless.
i'm other amusement, i'm signed up to be an extra in a movie being filmed in rutland next week. the dork i am, i've always wanted to do something like that ... granted, in my ideal situation, i'd be starring in a movie, but i lack the, well, talent and experience to do so. and since my dc time came to a close without an extra stint on "the west wing," i think this could be a lot of fun. i just have to cheer as an audience member at the paramount ... why not, right? and i'm thinking i might propose to have the experience be the fodder for the following "a&tc" column. it'll be either that or the gavin degraw/michael tolcher/vaco show at uvm on the 23rd ...
they said it would never happen, but i finally set up internet at the apartment. so this comes to you from the frozen north of burlington, where the temperature last night and this morning was supposed to reach the coldest lows in 23 years.
needless to say, when someone tells me it's going to be the coldest since i was two and a half months old, i heed their recommendations and stay curled up with movies, work and coffee - speaking of which, i feel a need to thank green mountain coffee roasters for their delightful gingerbread blend, which warmed both my body and spirit this morning. mmm ... java goodness ...
the next days hold a series events that will result in a lot of driving, mingling and hopefully general amusement. today is the great "paint the apartment" day, in which i have some home decorators (ok, my parents) traveling north to help me further beautify the apartment. i'm sure a trip to home depot will result in various new fun accents for the place. i'm probably heading down south this evening, as i will be attending a vermont journalism training session in rutland tomorrow. but after that, i'm back up north to attend a chi-chi reception at the flynn for my column ... then back to southern vermont because i'm working friday ... then, i believe, back up here for the rest of my column. good god, i'm tired just thinking of the driving ... but it should be fun, nevertheless.
i'm other amusement, i'm signed up to be an extra in a movie being filmed in rutland next week. the dork i am, i've always wanted to do something like that ... granted, in my ideal situation, i'd be starring in a movie, but i lack the, well, talent and experience to do so. and since my dc time came to a close without an extra stint on "the west wing," i think this could be a lot of fun. i just have to cheer as an audience member at the paramount ... why not, right? and i'm thinking i might propose to have the experience be the fodder for the following "a&tc" column. it'll be either that or the gavin degraw/michael tolcher/vaco show at uvm on the 23rd ...
1.11.2004
i do what i can.
i may have had to get rid of all the files on my computer, but i left my father a nice little "hey, it works now, but have fun staring at this" present on the computer desktop.
i may have had to get rid of all the files on my computer, but i left my father a nice little "hey, it works now, but have fun staring at this" present on the computer desktop.
a moment of silence, please
because this stupid computer decided to crash (well, technically windows still opened, but it was impossible to do anything or open any files without starting it up in safe mode), i was forced to erase the better part of three collegiate years late this afternoon. i was, fortunately, able to save my papers and journalism stories, but the rest - videos, photos and my incredibly massive collection of mp3s - is lost forever.
but besides that major loss, i have had a fabulous, wonderful, all-arond great weekend. besides successfully hooking someone else on "sex & the city," i was able to relax, laugh and discover that i am a big fan of schmirnoff twisted drinks, particularly cranberry.
more to follow when i feel more writerly.
because this stupid computer decided to crash (well, technically windows still opened, but it was impossible to do anything or open any files without starting it up in safe mode), i was forced to erase the better part of three collegiate years late this afternoon. i was, fortunately, able to save my papers and journalism stories, but the rest - videos, photos and my incredibly massive collection of mp3s - is lost forever.
but besides that major loss, i have had a fabulous, wonderful, all-arond great weekend. besides successfully hooking someone else on "sex & the city," i was able to relax, laugh and discover that i am a big fan of schmirnoff twisted drinks, particularly cranberry.
more to follow when i feel more writerly.
1.08.2004
... if only i knew then what i know now ...
... i sure as hell would have stayed. no matter what.
from one year ago today ...
1.8.03 - what follows is my mraz tale of woe...
so i finish up my night at work, change into proper concert gear and head out to arlington so i can find iota and be there nice and early so i'm sure to get in. after arriving, i order a drink and follow that up with some dinner (a gardenburger with fries, for those who were dying to know--may i note that it was an exceptionally tasty meal) and prepare to wait a couple of hours until showtime.
when i walked in, i immediately recognized toca from the cbs morning show, but didn't see mraz right away. eventually, however, i saw him and realized that he's just as attractive as everyone says. i was prepared for a fun evening of music and, if i felt gutsy enough, conversation with him. or at least the chance to hear him play and then buy one of the live cds i've been wanting.
after eating dinner and realizing i had about an hour and a half to kill, however, it hits me. all of the people, the smoke, the music (cd music over the pa, the quasi-soundcheck mraz and the guys were doing, plus some guy playing guitar in the corner)--all of the stuff i normally love about shows--it hits me like a ton of bricks and i realize that 1) i feel incredibly sick, to the point of wanting to faint or throw up and 2) there's no way i'm going to make it until they start to take money for tickets, let alone make it through the whole show. since i'd already traveled out to arlington and had eaten dinner there and everything, this was the most wretched of realizations and i fought my quickly fading body and tried to stick it out. i walked around the little club area, searching for a spare seat where i could curl up for a bit--anything. but there was nothing for me to do except stand there and try to not fall over or leave. i tried the standing bit for about five minutes before finally accepting that i was going to lose that little game (and, while i wanted to make an impression on mraz, i didn't want it to be "hey, that's the girl who passed out at my virginia show!"), so i was sensible and left.
i didn't want to, i was cursing myself during my entire walk back to the metro, trying to psych myself up to turn back and go back in. but i was so dizzy and felt so nauseous that i knew going home was the right thing. knowing it was the right thing, however, didn't make it suck any less. and, adding insult to injury, i wasn't able to get one of the live cds because they didn't have the merch table set up when i was getting ready to leave. so i'll have to order it online, i suppose.
i think it was a combination of factors that led to my feeling so ill--but the biggest thing was that it was yet another example of how the day after the day after a very long day sucks. sunday was a ridiculously long day, with waking up at 4:30 a.m. to get to the airport and then getting back down here, and i was wired on monday, but i was dead to the world while at work yesterday. this was perpetuated by being at the club and having everything going on around me.
but it wasn't a total loss. i got to see mraz, techically. i even got to hear him during soundcheck. i know where iota is, so going there for future shows won't be a problem. and i had a tasty dinner. i was right in leaving, and i feel ok today, although i think i still need to get another good night's sleep because i'm a little tired today.
but i'm still pretty disappointed about how it panned out.
and, with that, the string of vickie-less mraz shows begins. but, in good news, thanks to that misadventure and my resultant posting on rkop, i had the opportunity to interact with a certain fellow mraz fan ...
... so it turned out to be a good thing all in all. :)
but i'll say that i was listening to my copy of the show today and i'm still bitter to have missed it.
bollocks.
... i sure as hell would have stayed. no matter what.
from one year ago today ...
1.8.03 - what follows is my mraz tale of woe...
so i finish up my night at work, change into proper concert gear and head out to arlington so i can find iota and be there nice and early so i'm sure to get in. after arriving, i order a drink and follow that up with some dinner (a gardenburger with fries, for those who were dying to know--may i note that it was an exceptionally tasty meal) and prepare to wait a couple of hours until showtime.
when i walked in, i immediately recognized toca from the cbs morning show, but didn't see mraz right away. eventually, however, i saw him and realized that he's just as attractive as everyone says. i was prepared for a fun evening of music and, if i felt gutsy enough, conversation with him. or at least the chance to hear him play and then buy one of the live cds i've been wanting.
after eating dinner and realizing i had about an hour and a half to kill, however, it hits me. all of the people, the smoke, the music (cd music over the pa, the quasi-soundcheck mraz and the guys were doing, plus some guy playing guitar in the corner)--all of the stuff i normally love about shows--it hits me like a ton of bricks and i realize that 1) i feel incredibly sick, to the point of wanting to faint or throw up and 2) there's no way i'm going to make it until they start to take money for tickets, let alone make it through the whole show. since i'd already traveled out to arlington and had eaten dinner there and everything, this was the most wretched of realizations and i fought my quickly fading body and tried to stick it out. i walked around the little club area, searching for a spare seat where i could curl up for a bit--anything. but there was nothing for me to do except stand there and try to not fall over or leave. i tried the standing bit for about five minutes before finally accepting that i was going to lose that little game (and, while i wanted to make an impression on mraz, i didn't want it to be "hey, that's the girl who passed out at my virginia show!"), so i was sensible and left.
i didn't want to, i was cursing myself during my entire walk back to the metro, trying to psych myself up to turn back and go back in. but i was so dizzy and felt so nauseous that i knew going home was the right thing. knowing it was the right thing, however, didn't make it suck any less. and, adding insult to injury, i wasn't able to get one of the live cds because they didn't have the merch table set up when i was getting ready to leave. so i'll have to order it online, i suppose.
i think it was a combination of factors that led to my feeling so ill--but the biggest thing was that it was yet another example of how the day after the day after a very long day sucks. sunday was a ridiculously long day, with waking up at 4:30 a.m. to get to the airport and then getting back down here, and i was wired on monday, but i was dead to the world while at work yesterday. this was perpetuated by being at the club and having everything going on around me.
but it wasn't a total loss. i got to see mraz, techically. i even got to hear him during soundcheck. i know where iota is, so going there for future shows won't be a problem. and i had a tasty dinner. i was right in leaving, and i feel ok today, although i think i still need to get another good night's sleep because i'm a little tired today.
but i'm still pretty disappointed about how it panned out.
and, with that, the string of vickie-less mraz shows begins. but, in good news, thanks to that misadventure and my resultant posting on rkop, i had the opportunity to interact with a certain fellow mraz fan ...
... so it turned out to be a good thing all in all. :)
but i'll say that i was listening to my copy of the show today and i'm still bitter to have missed it.
bollocks.
1.07.2004
so yesterday, so yesterday ...
ah, the random mismash of fun i can relay this frigidly cold evening in southern vermont. this is the kind of day that i love - one where i find myself laughing constantly, i feel the positive aftermath of working on my body and the successful feeling of working on ... well, my work.
the victoria definition of a great friend: one with whom you can just laugh and find the humor out of any situation, whether focused on a relevant task/topic or not. depending on how you want to view this evening, elizabeth and i were certainly focused ... whether you want to regard it as relevant or not is up to you. confused yet? well, sign up for friendster and do some searching, baby ... i think beth was right in stating that it is a good thing it wasn't around when we were in college. far too much amusement for one's scholastically-minded own good ...
i should also provide some clarification about the reason why i first became a fan of howie day. certain parties have raised claims that it was strictly because my young (19-year-old - good god, has it already almost been four years???) impressionable self was intrigued by an attractive singer-songwriter.
well, i'll admit it. the reason why i stuck around for howie's performance at the coffeehouse was because he could play guitar, sing, was attractive and - most importantly at the time - i thought he was british.
now for the new howie fan, i should provide some backstory. during howie's early touring years, he would deal with the potential awkwardness of stage banter by offering his name between songs. "hi, my name is howie day and i'm from ..." and you could fill in the blanks, pretty much. iceland, france, australia, new zealand and, the first time i fell victim, england. i had gotten to the show a little late and, after the first song i heard him sing, he said with a british accent, "hi, my name is howie day and i'm from london." so my english-accent-loving self stuck around and realized i'd fallen for the joke a few songs later when he said he was howie day and he was from new zealand.
after a great set - and after a now embarrassing exchange after i decided to talk to him about "she says" - i picked up a copy of his blue sampler and have been hooked ever since.
in conclusion, then, i admit - i started listening because i thought he was british. OK?!?! ;)
in other news - i figured it was only fair to offer a plug to check out syd's site because he made reference to - and posted in the press section - the first night review. "We just got a great review of our show in Burlington, VT on New Year's, check that out."
well, that's because it was a great show. i report what i find. and may i repeat for my readers, whoever you are, that syd was great. i highly recommend checking him out. and, for our ani fans, i should add that i discovered yesterday that one of the live cds i picked up includes an amazing cover of "both hands" that i absolutely love ...
goodness me, i'm still laughing about everything tonight. time to warm up, relax and ultimately get some sleep ...
ah, the random mismash of fun i can relay this frigidly cold evening in southern vermont. this is the kind of day that i love - one where i find myself laughing constantly, i feel the positive aftermath of working on my body and the successful feeling of working on ... well, my work.
the victoria definition of a great friend: one with whom you can just laugh and find the humor out of any situation, whether focused on a relevant task/topic or not. depending on how you want to view this evening, elizabeth and i were certainly focused ... whether you want to regard it as relevant or not is up to you. confused yet? well, sign up for friendster and do some searching, baby ... i think beth was right in stating that it is a good thing it wasn't around when we were in college. far too much amusement for one's scholastically-minded own good ...
i should also provide some clarification about the reason why i first became a fan of howie day. certain parties have raised claims that it was strictly because my young (19-year-old - good god, has it already almost been four years???) impressionable self was intrigued by an attractive singer-songwriter.
well, i'll admit it. the reason why i stuck around for howie's performance at the coffeehouse was because he could play guitar, sing, was attractive and - most importantly at the time - i thought he was british.
now for the new howie fan, i should provide some backstory. during howie's early touring years, he would deal with the potential awkwardness of stage banter by offering his name between songs. "hi, my name is howie day and i'm from ..." and you could fill in the blanks, pretty much. iceland, france, australia, new zealand and, the first time i fell victim, england. i had gotten to the show a little late and, after the first song i heard him sing, he said with a british accent, "hi, my name is howie day and i'm from london." so my english-accent-loving self stuck around and realized i'd fallen for the joke a few songs later when he said he was howie day and he was from new zealand.
after a great set - and after a now embarrassing exchange after i decided to talk to him about "she says" - i picked up a copy of his blue sampler and have been hooked ever since.
in conclusion, then, i admit - i started listening because i thought he was british. OK?!?! ;)
in other news - i figured it was only fair to offer a plug to check out syd's site because he made reference to - and posted in the press section - the first night review. "We just got a great review of our show in Burlington, VT on New Year's, check that out."
well, that's because it was a great show. i report what i find. and may i repeat for my readers, whoever you are, that syd was great. i highly recommend checking him out. and, for our ani fans, i should add that i discovered yesterday that one of the live cds i picked up includes an amazing cover of "both hands" that i absolutely love ...
goodness me, i'm still laughing about everything tonight. time to warm up, relax and ultimately get some sleep ...
carson daly, you suck.
just as a lark, i signed up for a ticket request to see howie day perform on last call. they said they would email about a week before the event to inform people of whether their requests were approved. i didn't hear anything, so i assumed a last-minute trip to nyc would not be in my cards.
however, i receive email YESTERDAY telling me that my request was approved for the taping that begins in approximately two hours from now.
and i totally would have been up for a random, fun roadtrip ...
bollocks. bastards.
just as a lark, i signed up for a ticket request to see howie day perform on last call. they said they would email about a week before the event to inform people of whether their requests were approved. i didn't hear anything, so i assumed a last-minute trip to nyc would not be in my cards.
however, i receive email YESTERDAY telling me that my request was approved for the taping that begins in approximately two hours from now.
and i totally would have been up for a random, fun roadtrip ...
bollocks. bastards.
continued admiration
admiration: \Ad`mi*ra"tion\, n. [F., fr. L. admiratio. See Admire.] 2. Wonder mingled with approbation or delight; an emotion excited by a person or thing possessed of wonderful or high excellence
rival: \Ri"val\, v. To be equal to in quality or ability.
new year, new writing to both admire and rival. i know i do this each time i see a new bit of written goodness on the site. i know i go off praising and borderline gushing and i know it must have gotten old eons ago, but i can't help it. to be able to come up with such written delights is such a gift and, dammit, i'm going to praise those gifts each time. it's my own little reminder to keep writing, keep striving and all of that goodness.
so. here i am, in proctor, enjoying my family-less house. the family is all in massachusetts, visiting loved ones and enjoying a mini-road trip. i am here, enjoying internet access, email and conducting research for the piles of stories i have waiting to be written. i've found that i'm not as strong a freelancer as i might like to be ... if i'm not in an office (newsroom, i should say), i decide to make my calls an hour later, the next day ... my procrastinating ways have started to show a bit too much for my own good. so this afternoon will be spent catching up and doing my freelancing like the best of them ...
it also means i don't have to engage in an excessive amount of physical activity, as i'm recovering from trying one item on the "victoria's list of things to do in life." i was at the gym yesterday morning, engaging in a typical get-up-get-moving mini-workout, when i saw a sign about a new class being offered. yes, it was the much-anticipated-never-tried kickboxing. so i figured it was about time i gave it a shot and got in touch with my inner kickboxer.
so i returned early yesterday afternoon, almost leaving three times before class began because i was nervous and figured everyone else would know what they were doing. but i forced myself to remain, calling my nagging doubts wretched names and waiting it out. after wrapping my hands and finding a set of boxing gloves, i began my hour-long introduction to all things kickboxing. i did my pushups and cardio. i learned the punches and kicks. i went through the intervals, where for 90 seconds, i continuously kicked a bag, worked on footwork, jumped from side to side and, finally, repeatedly punched at the instructor, who was cushioning each side cut with her hand pads.
90 seconds doesn't sound like a long time, but when you're punching at the rate of nearly two punches per second, it feels like an eternity.
after the class, i felt like a million dollars but, at the same time, wanted to curl up and die. i dragged myself home, had a nice healthy dinner and promptly sprawled out on my carpet because my favorite chair was, frankly, too far away. after relaxing and catching up with various people via phone, i curled up in bed and, after some difficulties drifting off to dreamland, slept as i feel i've never slept before. fatigue-driven deep slumber. how grand.
yet now i sit here, muscles aching that haven't ached since high school athletics, contemplating picking up a tae-bo tape so i don't rely strictly on a once-a-week class that i don't know if i'm going to return to. yet inspite of it all, i feel amazing ... it's about time i kicked my ass getting back into shape.
in other, less-aching news ... over the last couple of days, i've been fortunate enough to touch base with some people i haven't really talked to in ages. there's nothing better for my living-solo soul than to be able to laugh and chat with friendly voices from my not-so-distant past ... makes me feel as if i'm not in the hey-look-i'm-a-currently-solitary-writer haze ... which is a good thing. i had the opportunity to catch up with a friend i've known since freshman year of college on monday evening and discovered that we are both contemplating d.c. visits at approximately the same time ... i would be hoping to visit friends from my time there, he would be hoping to visit one of his close college friends (and a friend of myself as well) who has recently moved there (never fails: i leave and THEN people move there. figures.). we promised to keep each other abreast of plans if and when they develop so perhaps something could be coordinated. how much fun it would be to be able to go out on a weekend night in a group of friends and acquaintances-to-be-met ...
this month includes a much-looked-forward-to weekend as well ... as i believe i will be enjoying a great deal of concert excitement in several new england states. on friday the 23rd, i intend to enjoy virginia coalition, michael tolcher and gavin degraw at uvm. on saturday, i'll head down to massachusetts, where i'll meet up with various and sundry friends before heading to see averi at the living room in providence, rhode island. i believe i'll have the chance to catch up with my brother and (finally) enjoy some grasshopper on sunday before heading back to vermont. hurrah! music! fun! merriment!
speaking of averi, many congratulations to them on hiring a manager - best of luck with the label booking prospects ...
alright, enough procrastination. back to work.
xoxoxox - victoria
ps. i should note that last weekend envolved much merriment. my only regret is that i still don't have internet at the apartment, as one miss rebecca would have been in rare form for her second guest blog. it's amusing, as she was the one who drank like a champ and i was the one who woke up the next day with a 64-piece marching band pounding through my head ... what can i say? i'm so concerned about being a good hostess that i even take over hangovers that aren't intended for me. but don't get any ideas - i don't intend to be so selfless in the future. oy.
admiration: \Ad`mi*ra"tion\, n. [F., fr. L. admiratio. See Admire.] 2. Wonder mingled with approbation or delight; an emotion excited by a person or thing possessed of wonderful or high excellence
rival: \Ri"val\, v. To be equal to in quality or ability.
new year, new writing to both admire and rival. i know i do this each time i see a new bit of written goodness on the site. i know i go off praising and borderline gushing and i know it must have gotten old eons ago, but i can't help it. to be able to come up with such written delights is such a gift and, dammit, i'm going to praise those gifts each time. it's my own little reminder to keep writing, keep striving and all of that goodness.
so. here i am, in proctor, enjoying my family-less house. the family is all in massachusetts, visiting loved ones and enjoying a mini-road trip. i am here, enjoying internet access, email and conducting research for the piles of stories i have waiting to be written. i've found that i'm not as strong a freelancer as i might like to be ... if i'm not in an office (newsroom, i should say), i decide to make my calls an hour later, the next day ... my procrastinating ways have started to show a bit too much for my own good. so this afternoon will be spent catching up and doing my freelancing like the best of them ...
it also means i don't have to engage in an excessive amount of physical activity, as i'm recovering from trying one item on the "victoria's list of things to do in life." i was at the gym yesterday morning, engaging in a typical get-up-get-moving mini-workout, when i saw a sign about a new class being offered. yes, it was the much-anticipated-never-tried kickboxing. so i figured it was about time i gave it a shot and got in touch with my inner kickboxer.
so i returned early yesterday afternoon, almost leaving three times before class began because i was nervous and figured everyone else would know what they were doing. but i forced myself to remain, calling my nagging doubts wretched names and waiting it out. after wrapping my hands and finding a set of boxing gloves, i began my hour-long introduction to all things kickboxing. i did my pushups and cardio. i learned the punches and kicks. i went through the intervals, where for 90 seconds, i continuously kicked a bag, worked on footwork, jumped from side to side and, finally, repeatedly punched at the instructor, who was cushioning each side cut with her hand pads.
90 seconds doesn't sound like a long time, but when you're punching at the rate of nearly two punches per second, it feels like an eternity.
after the class, i felt like a million dollars but, at the same time, wanted to curl up and die. i dragged myself home, had a nice healthy dinner and promptly sprawled out on my carpet because my favorite chair was, frankly, too far away. after relaxing and catching up with various people via phone, i curled up in bed and, after some difficulties drifting off to dreamland, slept as i feel i've never slept before. fatigue-driven deep slumber. how grand.
yet now i sit here, muscles aching that haven't ached since high school athletics, contemplating picking up a tae-bo tape so i don't rely strictly on a once-a-week class that i don't know if i'm going to return to. yet inspite of it all, i feel amazing ... it's about time i kicked my ass getting back into shape.
in other, less-aching news ... over the last couple of days, i've been fortunate enough to touch base with some people i haven't really talked to in ages. there's nothing better for my living-solo soul than to be able to laugh and chat with friendly voices from my not-so-distant past ... makes me feel as if i'm not in the hey-look-i'm-a-currently-solitary-writer haze ... which is a good thing. i had the opportunity to catch up with a friend i've known since freshman year of college on monday evening and discovered that we are both contemplating d.c. visits at approximately the same time ... i would be hoping to visit friends from my time there, he would be hoping to visit one of his close college friends (and a friend of myself as well) who has recently moved there (never fails: i leave and THEN people move there. figures.). we promised to keep each other abreast of plans if and when they develop so perhaps something could be coordinated. how much fun it would be to be able to go out on a weekend night in a group of friends and acquaintances-to-be-met ...
this month includes a much-looked-forward-to weekend as well ... as i believe i will be enjoying a great deal of concert excitement in several new england states. on friday the 23rd, i intend to enjoy virginia coalition, michael tolcher and gavin degraw at uvm. on saturday, i'll head down to massachusetts, where i'll meet up with various and sundry friends before heading to see averi at the living room in providence, rhode island. i believe i'll have the chance to catch up with my brother and (finally) enjoy some grasshopper on sunday before heading back to vermont. hurrah! music! fun! merriment!
speaking of averi, many congratulations to them on hiring a manager - best of luck with the label booking prospects ...
alright, enough procrastination. back to work.
xoxoxox - victoria
ps. i should note that last weekend envolved much merriment. my only regret is that i still don't have internet at the apartment, as one miss rebecca would have been in rare form for her second guest blog. it's amusing, as she was the one who drank like a champ and i was the one who woke up the next day with a 64-piece marching band pounding through my head ... what can i say? i'm so concerned about being a good hostess that i even take over hangovers that aren't intended for me. but don't get any ideas - i don't intend to be so selfless in the future. oy.
1.05.2004
1.04.2004
oh how easily i'm amused in life
britney spears marries childhood friend - ok, i obviously know very little about this. but i do know that if you get married - in vegas - at 5:30 a.m., if you're not drunk, you're certainly on something ... and you can't be a "little stunned" that you got married. you did, after all, go through the whole ceremony and all ... bwahaha. i should note, however, that i heard bits and pieces of "in the zone" this weekend and did enjoy it - more than i expected to. it's certainly a good dance album.
friday five:
what one thing are you most looking forward to . . .
1. ...today? sex & the city at 9 p.m. about damn time. :-)
2. ...over the next week? hearing about the job situation.
3. ...this year? establishing myself as a journalist. as well as the countless good concerts and events to come. memories are to be made in 2k4, i believe ...
4. ...over the next five years? seeing where life takes me. exploring the highways and byways of my future.
5. ...for the rest of your life? happy times, laughter, friends, good music and love.
i will now look forward to "sex & the city" (side note: bought season three today -- is there anywhere around me that sells season one???) while burning to disc the 10.09.03 mraz show from northampton. good times ...
weekend recap (including what is probably the world's first hangover exchange) to follow ...
britney spears marries childhood friend - ok, i obviously know very little about this. but i do know that if you get married - in vegas - at 5:30 a.m., if you're not drunk, you're certainly on something ... and you can't be a "little stunned" that you got married. you did, after all, go through the whole ceremony and all ... bwahaha. i should note, however, that i heard bits and pieces of "in the zone" this weekend and did enjoy it - more than i expected to. it's certainly a good dance album.
friday five:
what one thing are you most looking forward to . . .
1. ...today? sex & the city at 9 p.m. about damn time. :-)
2. ...over the next week? hearing about the job situation.
3. ...this year? establishing myself as a journalist. as well as the countless good concerts and events to come. memories are to be made in 2k4, i believe ...
4. ...over the next five years? seeing where life takes me. exploring the highways and byways of my future.
5. ...for the rest of your life? happy times, laughter, friends, good music and love.
i will now look forward to "sex & the city" (side note: bought season three today -- is there anywhere around me that sells season one???) while burning to disc the 10.09.03 mraz show from northampton. good times ...
weekend recap (including what is probably the world's first hangover exchange) to follow ...
1.01.2004
whoop-de do - happy freakin' new year
so here we are, boys and girls, in the wild times of 2k4.
gosh, feels an awful lot like 2k3 ...
my bitterness is half in jest. it's just that i hate new year's eve with a passion. least favorite in my list of holidays, new year's is, to me, a day full of expectations and hopes that are never met. it's probably the biggest letdown holiday of the calendar year.
don't get me wrong - i spend just as much time as anyone else looking back at the year past and forward to the 12 months to come. i make resolutions, i try to watch the ball drop each year and freak out over dick clark's ever-preserved appearance. but it seems as if there's just so much attention cast on 24 hours out of all the hours of the year - and after 8 p.m., it just gets more and more ridiculous.
part of this year's jadedness comes from the fact that i worked. but, in many respects, i took this to be a potentially beneficial factor. after all, i'd be going around town covering things and trying to capture the sense of hope and anticipation in the air.
but instead, i just wound up feeling blah. i don't get why everyone gets so excited. i don't understand why everyone wants to spend so much time focusing on the fact that it's a minute later than it was before.
nevertheless. i spent new year's much as i've been spending a lot of time lately - on my own (insert carrie bradshaw voiceover talking about being single & fabulous - exclamation point!). because it was drizzly for a little bit, there was a definite possibility that they would cancel the fireworks, so rather than stand out in the cold for a half hour, i headed home. by the time i walked back to my car from the waterfront and made it to my house, the clock had just hit midnight and i had a lovely view of the fireworks from my back balcony. good times.
so i watched television, spoke with some friends via phone, wishing them a happy new year, send warm thoughts to all those i wasn't with for the first moments of 2004, drank a bottle of boone's farm (bwahaha) and dragged my tipsy self to bed around 1:30.
whoo hoo.
but, in good news, i found a new singer-songwriter that is fantastic (prepare yourself - here comes the first vickie music plug of 2004) - syd. he played two sets downtown yesterday and i was floored. i interviewed him for my column and he and tuck are laidback guys with an incredible thing going. i wound up picking up some bootlegs and syd's debut album (i will happily burn copies of the bootlegs for whoever's interested - he encourages it). he scores extra points for taking care of the obligatory covers with one song, a medley including "stir it up," "bubbletoes," "why georgia," "the sharp hint of new tears," "semi-charmed kind of life," "what's my age again?" and "glycerine," with a few others thrown in as well. the scary thing being that it all forms this incredibly cohesive single song. i dug it. while i've heard some of his music before, it didn't really click with me until yesterday. now i'm hooked.
and, i should note with a laugh, it's always amusing to hear updates about people from waaaay back in the day. i know life goes on and people continue to do their things when i'm no longer a part of their existances, but for some reason, i half expect them not to. it's as if once they're out of my life, they've put on perpetual pause mode or something.
and then you hear that those lives are not on pause - well, not really, anyway. always interesting ...
so here we are, boys and girls, in the wild times of 2k4.
gosh, feels an awful lot like 2k3 ...
my bitterness is half in jest. it's just that i hate new year's eve with a passion. least favorite in my list of holidays, new year's is, to me, a day full of expectations and hopes that are never met. it's probably the biggest letdown holiday of the calendar year.
don't get me wrong - i spend just as much time as anyone else looking back at the year past and forward to the 12 months to come. i make resolutions, i try to watch the ball drop each year and freak out over dick clark's ever-preserved appearance. but it seems as if there's just so much attention cast on 24 hours out of all the hours of the year - and after 8 p.m., it just gets more and more ridiculous.
part of this year's jadedness comes from the fact that i worked. but, in many respects, i took this to be a potentially beneficial factor. after all, i'd be going around town covering things and trying to capture the sense of hope and anticipation in the air.
but instead, i just wound up feeling blah. i don't get why everyone gets so excited. i don't understand why everyone wants to spend so much time focusing on the fact that it's a minute later than it was before.
nevertheless. i spent new year's much as i've been spending a lot of time lately - on my own (insert carrie bradshaw voiceover talking about being single & fabulous - exclamation point!). because it was drizzly for a little bit, there was a definite possibility that they would cancel the fireworks, so rather than stand out in the cold for a half hour, i headed home. by the time i walked back to my car from the waterfront and made it to my house, the clock had just hit midnight and i had a lovely view of the fireworks from my back balcony. good times.
so i watched television, spoke with some friends via phone, wishing them a happy new year, send warm thoughts to all those i wasn't with for the first moments of 2004, drank a bottle of boone's farm (bwahaha) and dragged my tipsy self to bed around 1:30.
whoo hoo.
but, in good news, i found a new singer-songwriter that is fantastic (prepare yourself - here comes the first vickie music plug of 2004) - syd. he played two sets downtown yesterday and i was floored. i interviewed him for my column and he and tuck are laidback guys with an incredible thing going. i wound up picking up some bootlegs and syd's debut album (i will happily burn copies of the bootlegs for whoever's interested - he encourages it). he scores extra points for taking care of the obligatory covers with one song, a medley including "stir it up," "bubbletoes," "why georgia," "the sharp hint of new tears," "semi-charmed kind of life," "what's my age again?" and "glycerine," with a few others thrown in as well. the scary thing being that it all forms this incredibly cohesive single song. i dug it. while i've heard some of his music before, it didn't really click with me until yesterday. now i'm hooked.
and, i should note with a laugh, it's always amusing to hear updates about people from waaaay back in the day. i know life goes on and people continue to do their things when i'm no longer a part of their existances, but for some reason, i half expect them not to. it's as if once they're out of my life, they've put on perpetual pause mode or something.
and then you hear that those lives are not on pause - well, not really, anyway. always interesting ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
