Poor Lieutenant Dan

To: CSI: NY writers
From: V
Subject: "Killer Outfit"

Sirs and Madams -

This evening, I happened across a repeat of your February 16 episode, "'Til Death Do We Part." A recently converted "CSI" franchise viewer, I decided to dust off my deduction skills and watch the episode, which focused, per usual, on two separate fatalities.

In the most intriguing, a bride collapsed as she approached the alter to marry her betrothed. She simply appeared to faint and, subsequently, die. Cease to be. Kick the bucket. Head to that big bridal shop in the sky.

Whodunnit investigation insues.

You had me going for awhile, esteemed writers. I was convinced that the maid of honor and groom had used the wedding dress for a pre-ceremony dalliance. Then I thought that the father had wanted to stall the autopsy so as to reduce the chance of his involvement in the murder being discovered. I thought you were mixing things up a bit, and I was into the plot.

Shortly before a commercial break, I jokingly commented to my flatmate that the episode premise was strikingly similar to a horror story I read as a youngster. "There's no way they'd actually go there, though," I said confidently, explaining that it dealt with a girl preparing for a big school dance. She died in her dress because it had been sold to a consignment shop after being stolen off a corpse shortly before burial. She was killed by formaldehyde poisoning, a result of surface contact.

"But they wouldn't take an urban legend included in 'Scariest Stories You've Ever Heard,'" I laughed.

Sirs? Madams? Still with me here? Because apparently I am not the only reader of "Brenda's New Dress," a story included in "SSYEH, Part II."

As a fellow writer, I implore you to please utilize plot devices not available to chldren at the age of nine. Get creative here, folks! I know it can be tiring, cranking out idea after idea. But the old embalming-fluid-in-the-dress-lining trick?

You're better than this. Or, at least, Gary Sinise deserves something better than that.

Most sincerely,
V