out past the fountain ...

status check - perpetually annoyed
background ambiance - s.o., s.o.

out past the fountain, a left at the station, i start my day in the usual way ...

how about i turn around, turn right at the station, pass the fountain again and just call it a day?

one of the advantages to livejournal is the friends-only or private options to posts. i could post more - vent, bitch, scream, bash whoever i want - without having to wonder who would come across said ranting at any point down the road.

but here, i'll just be quasi-cryptic. my tolerance level is shot. so annoyed. it's not even anything in particular right now. which is the problem. i want something exciting to come up - something exciting to me. but it wouldn't matter, even if it did, because i couldn't do anything about it anyway.

i haven't been sleeping well. my schedule is wearing on me and i just wind up waking up annoyed that the rest of the world is preparing to put in the required early hours and then enjoy the nighttime. i'm tired and cranky and look forward to the weekends and the misadventures they may hold. but then i get annoyed when they don't live up to my expectations.

i have a tendancy of falling into ruts - part of that whole lack of patience thing. i'm convinced that by staying the course, i'm falling to the wayside. and then i get whiny and moody and lament about how things will never change - but by being whiny and moody, i'm doing little to alleviate the situation. i know i need to be a bright, sharp version of myself - i just don't feel as if i'm going to accomplish anything right now by doing so. i'm tired.

ack. it's just a long week. and it's only wednesday. but i do have things to look forward to. in a few days, i will be able to relax in the sunshine and perhaps toss a frisbee to friends. we'll be sandwiched between the skyline and water and i'll be ready to enjoy dancing to music and singing along. the warm days will strive to brighten my mood and remind me that i'm still young and - at least i think so - fun.

there are a couple of holes where important things should be in my life - i know what one of them is, i just don't know what else is missing.