no review. instead a parcel of love letters.

a., k. and i wished each other a happy "lord of the rings" day at midnight. six minutes later, the screen dimmed and we were able to watch "return of the king" with about another 250 to 300 diehards.

i'm not revealing anything about the movie, as i hate when people do that to me, particularly when i haven't had an opportunity to even think about watching it yet. but i will say that i saw previews for the following:

- hidalgo (another viggo on horseback. commentary from my friends - "so basically it's seabiscuit in the desert?")
- the punisher (tagline: "it's not revenge. it's punishment." lame.)
- spiderman 2 (title is actually just "2" at the moment. looked good for a spiderman flick - i'll probably see it. but they need to give it something reasonable for a title. "2" is annoying.)
- the third harry potter (! june 4, baby! sirius doesn't look like i expected - the kids freaked me out, seeing how grown up they've become - i don't know what the deal with the frog chorus is. but i'm psyched.)
- the butterfly effect (ashton kutcher is a man conflicted. a man conflicted who jumps back and forth through his life to change it for the better. eh, whatever. let's focus on the truth of it. ashton kutcher is a man seen on numerous occasions without his shirt on, which means people will flock to see it.)

anyway. my letters. well, i suppose they'd actually be more appropriate for postcards or something, but whatever. i went to sleep at 5 a.m. and woke up at 9:30 a.m. deal with it.

dear peter jackson -
you're bloody brilliant. loved loved loved the film. thank you.
kisses.
vickie

my dear orlando -
it's been like this for two years now, each time i start to write you off, i wind up seeing you in the theater and the inner teenybopper swoons. never thought i'd be so smitten by an actor sporting longer blonde hair than mine usually is. you were wonderful. again.
love,
victoria
ps. drop kate b. call me. ;-)

dear sean -
how the hell did you manage to bring some of "rudy" into "lord of the rings?" it was grand. you were grand. delightful job.
xoxoxo
vickie

dear sir ian -
would you be interested in assuming the role of a surrogate grandfather? if so, please contact me.
most respectfully,
victoria

dear liv, cate and miranda -
you were amazing in the trilogy. miranda, you, in particular, rock. but i must know: how did you get into a film with such amazing male co-stars? please have your people talk to my people. as soon as i get some.
much obliged,
vickie