flashes of nostalgia.

it's funny. the things you miss and the moments when you miss them. this evening, as i sit here waiting to finetune my snow story, i started thinking about all the things i want to do tonight and the lack of time i have to really do any of them. i want to paint (tomorrow evening). i want to go to the gym (tomorrow morning so i don't get to work ridiculously early again?). i want to get a universal remote so i can finally get at least a little bit of reception on my tv (possibly tonight, if i can unearth my car without losing feeling in my hands). i want to buy a new sweater (tonight as well?) and a three-hole punch so i can organize and store away the printed out digicol-ed copies of my articles. i have a stack of printed pages about four-fifths of an inch thick full of stories. always good to have clips - in multiple forms.

i want to decorate my apartment (who knows when). i want to laugh and smile with people in my living room - not just on the phone. i want to come home and hear music or a television already on.

thinking about the television gave me the first flash of nostalgia today. i remembered walking back into the apartment at the end of a long day and hearing the daily dose of "the simpsons" coming through the door just before mine. on a few occasions (not nearly as many as should have been, i realize now), i would knock on the door, settle on a corner of the bed and chat, recreating the moments from my day and learning of tidbits from a newsroom miles and states away from where i am now.

it made me think of the other good things i miss - watching "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" in the living room, sprawled out on a couch, laughing with a roommate about the trials and tribulations of the people on screen, my cell phone periodically ringing with color commentary from vermont. sitting in my room during a mass cd-burning session, listening to the opening notes of "she says" come from my much-neglected guitar. laughing about sock-sharing offers. drooling en masse over finding ashton kutcher's clone at lucky bar. it's on the house at chipotle. pint glass vodka cran's. tirelessly trying to put the perfect amount of hot pepper on a jumbo slice after a night of debauchery. hugs and cheesecake factory. spring sunshine warming the granite on which i sprawled out for mid-afternoon dozes. the wonders of trader joe's (sorry, citymarket doesn't compare there) and weekly walks up wisconsin, almost all the way to tenleytown. the matisse room at the national gallery. the dark wood inside the folger.

even things about my job come back and make me smile. just the little things, though - an officer holding the door for me with a smile as i carried eight flags down the hall. seeing the faces of visitors light up as they walked into the rotunda. talking with a friend and having her ask me how i'm doing and actually want to know - and care about my reply. taking a few moments during errands to walk out of the basement capitol entrance and look out over the mall, seeing the faces of visitors look up at the building with wonder, capturing an endless number of images on their cameras. being able to lead my family or friends onto the minisubway and walk them through the building, speaking matter-of-factly about the fact that abraham lincoln's desk was here, john quincy adams was there - hey tom, look. franklin pierce was here. school props, yo.

it's not necessarily that i miss washington - i'm much happier, healthier and connected here. but i miss moments of it - moments that i don't think i realized were special until i was gone. and i miss the people that made those moments happen.

i guess that's really what it comes down to. i know i've been busy, i know my emails haven't been nearly as frequent as i might like, but those people are in my mind constantly. and i hope sometime soon to be able to take a mini-vacation, head down south and make a few more memories, now that i'm wiser and ready to appreciate them more.

amazing how thinking about a universal remote can lead to such sappiness, eh?

in other news, lord of the rings. return of the king. i plan on trying to buy tickets to see if this weekend. who's with me? either saturday or sunday - i'm down with either. adam's giddy at the next desk about going tomorrow night and his excitement filled me with excitement.