three quick notes.
1. i'll be looking forward to a package from california ... i ordered gregory page's "unhappy hour" album (in a howie day-esque example of finding someone i like through someone else i like, i became addicted to mraz's cover of "don't look back" and tracked down some original gp mp3s) and was able to tell mr. page himself how much i enjoy his music ... revelrevel ...
2. friday. who's up for some fun? i'm thinking either burlington debauchery or roadtrip to see averi. becca, preference? anyone else is more than welcome - comments? call me with preference, as i currently don't have internet at home.
3. wednesday. new year's. i'm covering first night til the end of fireworks and then who knows? something might be in the mix, but who will be around and who wants to celebrate 2k4?
12.29.2003
12.26.2003
almost forgot.
rather redundant, but nevertheless ...
1. what was your biggest accomplishment this year?
overcame some rather large obstacles. became a Writer.
2. what was your biggest disappointment?
the year didn't have the fairytale-like last few months i might have half-hoped for ...
3. what do you hope the new year brings?
a full-time job. good times. laughs. hugs. love. music. happiness.
4. will you be making any new year's resolutions? if yes, what will they be?
i do intend to make a few resolutions this year, but i'd prefer not to share them with anyone. no offense.
5. what are your plans for new year's eve?
i'm covering first night, then leaving the first hours of 2004 open for whatever may happen. what can i say? it'll be mostly work, but i'm hoping to be able to enjoy it with friends. if all goes well, my real kick-back start to the year will be the 2nd.
while it has included a number of great moments, i must say that 2003 has included far too many moments of tears, fears and frustration. therefore, i am ready to say "2003, peace the fuck eight," and welcome a new year and, hopefully, a little more of the optimism that aggravates me on many occasions - but i now miss a great deal.
rather redundant, but nevertheless ...
1. what was your biggest accomplishment this year?
overcame some rather large obstacles. became a Writer.
2. what was your biggest disappointment?
the year didn't have the fairytale-like last few months i might have half-hoped for ...
3. what do you hope the new year brings?
a full-time job. good times. laughs. hugs. love. music. happiness.
4. will you be making any new year's resolutions? if yes, what will they be?
i do intend to make a few resolutions this year, but i'd prefer not to share them with anyone. no offense.
5. what are your plans for new year's eve?
i'm covering first night, then leaving the first hours of 2004 open for whatever may happen. what can i say? it'll be mostly work, but i'm hoping to be able to enjoy it with friends. if all goes well, my real kick-back start to the year will be the 2nd.
while it has included a number of great moments, i must say that 2003 has included far too many moments of tears, fears and frustration. therefore, i am ready to say "2003, peace the fuck eight," and welcome a new year and, hopefully, a little more of the optimism that aggravates me on many occasions - but i now miss a great deal.
holiday revelry and sofa melodrama
who needs a couch? not me, apparently ... while i've safely returned to vermont following the giving and receiving of christmas joy, i am still smarting from a few moments of frustration and discontent.
but i'll discuss shortly. i will say now that i have an hour and seven minutes until i find out if i'll be visiting new york in march - one of the gifts for my mother is for my father and i to try to score tickets to "the producers" with nathan lane and matthew broderick. so i'm trying to score tickets for the march 18 production. keep fingers crossed ...
christmas was grand. my family thoroughly enjoyed my gifts and seemed genuinely shocked to receive them, which brought me great joy. my father was most excited, i believe. there's a gentleman who comes into the store every morning - delightful older gentleman who carves absolutely gorgeous birds and sells them ... my father has always wanted one, but since they are quite expensive, he never asked the gentleman to make him one ... my mother, brother and i pooled together and asked the gentleman to make one, which he did. it's gorgeous - an american widgeon duck about 16 inches long ... it looks lifelike, covered with blue and grey feathers ... my father was in shock.
for my mother, i tried to remedy a situation from a decade earlier. when i was 12 or so, a moment of clumsiness resulted in a broken water pitcher my mother had been given by her grandmother. confessing my klutziness was one of the hardest things i've ever done - and it was the first time i ever saw my mother cry.
so this year, i went to the blue plate and painted a pitcher for her. and in it, i placed a note explaining why i decided to do it and explained that it wasn't an antique like the original had been, but it was an antique in training (in 100 years, it will be!). she almost cried when she read it. i was glowing with delight.
despite the fact that i was looking forward to the giving more than the receiving, i was given wonderful gifts. a quick rundown of some of the highlights: old albums and album frames from my brother (and a gift certificate to newbury, which was used today for rilo kiley's "take offs and landings" and matthew jay's "draw"), the "two towers" extended dvd, clothing, music (my mother heeded my observation about the quality of the "love, actually" soundtrack and bought it for me), the "have you scene it?" dvd game, a vespa (more shortly), bedding, books and, my favorite gift, a quill pen and inkpot set.
first the vespa. it had been a running joke in my family all year that, considering all the crap i've received from my jobs this year, i need a vespa (think rocco's disgruntled employees on "the restaurant"). so when i saw that i had a gift labeled "to vickie, from rocco," i laughed and said, "well, it's obviously too small for a vespa." i figured it was kitchen stuff for the apartment. i open it to see a toy vespa and a blonde girl with a vespa helmet. my parents started cracking up and i laughed so hard i cried. it was perfect.
but the quill was wonderful. a few years ago, my mother made a comment about how she would buy me a quill when i was a real writer. i completely forgot about it until yesterday, when i unwrapped the set. and she looked at me, as i gazed down at it, and said, "i told you i'd get it for you when you were a writer, and here you are."
perfect.
spent the day watching "lotr" and drooling over orlando in the extra footage, then went and visited my great uncle in the hospital in lynn. after visiting family today and lunch from baja fresh (which is no chipotle, but i was so excited to see something even remotely resembling it, i practically ran to the counter), we went to drop my brother off at his apartment and, i thought, pick up my couch.
which leads us to the couch debacle. shortly before leaving, my brother made a comment about how he would like to keep the couch. which led my parents to saying he could keep it. which left me down a couch - not to mention down a couch that i absolutely love.
i overreacted, i admit, but frankly, i was pissed. i bought the damn thing and it was time for it to come home. my brother currently has it in his bedroom because his apartment already has three others - meanwhile my living room currently has two chairs and desperately needs something to spread out and relax on. and i was getting grief for getting upset about the whole thing.
which led me to the realization that i just generally envy my brother right now. i've always said i want to live in boston. he lives just outside boston and goes to school in the city. i want a roommate. he has four. i want my couch. he has it - plus too others. add a few other little things and it's just clear that my brother's life seems pretty damn cool, while i'm trying to find a place back in vermont, hoping hoping hoping for a full-time reporting job and whatnot.
as we left his apartment and hit the highway, i cast a longing look back at the familiar, much-loved skyline and wished i could hop out of the car and live my days there ...
but nevertheless. gotta work my way to it. and, now, i have to find myself something that will work as a couch.
grr.
and, to top it all off, i finally stopped by the remy zero site to see what the guys have been up to. i'm probably the last to know, but i finally learn that my dear remy zero is no more.
*tear*
i'll be playing "villa elaine" tomorrow in remembrance.
but i can end my rants on a good note. i've heard a lot lately about rilo kiley and decided to pick up an album at newbury, as i said earlier (and, i should note, i was so happy to see averi sold there ... i heart newbury). the album will take a prominent place in my music collection ... i'm loving it. my san diego-longing soul was being run through the ringer as i repeated "pictures of success" over and over on my drive home this evening, as i listened to jenny sing, "they say california is a recipe for a black hole and i say i've got my best shoes on and i'm ready to go ..." as she repeated "i'm ready to go" time and time again, i was singing along at the top of my lungs and ready to hop on a plane and head to the sunshine, palm trees and pacific.
i want to go on a vacation in the coming months. i know i'm going to go to d.c. soon, one way or the other. but part of me really wants to get to the left coast - finally. anyone up for playing the role of potential traveling companion?
i'm ready to go ...
who needs a couch? not me, apparently ... while i've safely returned to vermont following the giving and receiving of christmas joy, i am still smarting from a few moments of frustration and discontent.
but i'll discuss shortly. i will say now that i have an hour and seven minutes until i find out if i'll be visiting new york in march - one of the gifts for my mother is for my father and i to try to score tickets to "the producers" with nathan lane and matthew broderick. so i'm trying to score tickets for the march 18 production. keep fingers crossed ...
christmas was grand. my family thoroughly enjoyed my gifts and seemed genuinely shocked to receive them, which brought me great joy. my father was most excited, i believe. there's a gentleman who comes into the store every morning - delightful older gentleman who carves absolutely gorgeous birds and sells them ... my father has always wanted one, but since they are quite expensive, he never asked the gentleman to make him one ... my mother, brother and i pooled together and asked the gentleman to make one, which he did. it's gorgeous - an american widgeon duck about 16 inches long ... it looks lifelike, covered with blue and grey feathers ... my father was in shock.
for my mother, i tried to remedy a situation from a decade earlier. when i was 12 or so, a moment of clumsiness resulted in a broken water pitcher my mother had been given by her grandmother. confessing my klutziness was one of the hardest things i've ever done - and it was the first time i ever saw my mother cry.
so this year, i went to the blue plate and painted a pitcher for her. and in it, i placed a note explaining why i decided to do it and explained that it wasn't an antique like the original had been, but it was an antique in training (in 100 years, it will be!). she almost cried when she read it. i was glowing with delight.
despite the fact that i was looking forward to the giving more than the receiving, i was given wonderful gifts. a quick rundown of some of the highlights: old albums and album frames from my brother (and a gift certificate to newbury, which was used today for rilo kiley's "take offs and landings" and matthew jay's "draw"), the "two towers" extended dvd, clothing, music (my mother heeded my observation about the quality of the "love, actually" soundtrack and bought it for me), the "have you scene it?" dvd game, a vespa (more shortly), bedding, books and, my favorite gift, a quill pen and inkpot set.
first the vespa. it had been a running joke in my family all year that, considering all the crap i've received from my jobs this year, i need a vespa (think rocco's disgruntled employees on "the restaurant"). so when i saw that i had a gift labeled "to vickie, from rocco," i laughed and said, "well, it's obviously too small for a vespa." i figured it was kitchen stuff for the apartment. i open it to see a toy vespa and a blonde girl with a vespa helmet. my parents started cracking up and i laughed so hard i cried. it was perfect.
but the quill was wonderful. a few years ago, my mother made a comment about how she would buy me a quill when i was a real writer. i completely forgot about it until yesterday, when i unwrapped the set. and she looked at me, as i gazed down at it, and said, "i told you i'd get it for you when you were a writer, and here you are."
perfect.
spent the day watching "lotr" and drooling over orlando in the extra footage, then went and visited my great uncle in the hospital in lynn. after visiting family today and lunch from baja fresh (which is no chipotle, but i was so excited to see something even remotely resembling it, i practically ran to the counter), we went to drop my brother off at his apartment and, i thought, pick up my couch.
which leads us to the couch debacle. shortly before leaving, my brother made a comment about how he would like to keep the couch. which led my parents to saying he could keep it. which left me down a couch - not to mention down a couch that i absolutely love.
i overreacted, i admit, but frankly, i was pissed. i bought the damn thing and it was time for it to come home. my brother currently has it in his bedroom because his apartment already has three others - meanwhile my living room currently has two chairs and desperately needs something to spread out and relax on. and i was getting grief for getting upset about the whole thing.
which led me to the realization that i just generally envy my brother right now. i've always said i want to live in boston. he lives just outside boston and goes to school in the city. i want a roommate. he has four. i want my couch. he has it - plus too others. add a few other little things and it's just clear that my brother's life seems pretty damn cool, while i'm trying to find a place back in vermont, hoping hoping hoping for a full-time reporting job and whatnot.
as we left his apartment and hit the highway, i cast a longing look back at the familiar, much-loved skyline and wished i could hop out of the car and live my days there ...
but nevertheless. gotta work my way to it. and, now, i have to find myself something that will work as a couch.
grr.
and, to top it all off, i finally stopped by the remy zero site to see what the guys have been up to. i'm probably the last to know, but i finally learn that my dear remy zero is no more.
*tear*
i'll be playing "villa elaine" tomorrow in remembrance.
but i can end my rants on a good note. i've heard a lot lately about rilo kiley and decided to pick up an album at newbury, as i said earlier (and, i should note, i was so happy to see averi sold there ... i heart newbury). the album will take a prominent place in my music collection ... i'm loving it. my san diego-longing soul was being run through the ringer as i repeated "pictures of success" over and over on my drive home this evening, as i listened to jenny sing, "they say california is a recipe for a black hole and i say i've got my best shoes on and i'm ready to go ..." as she repeated "i'm ready to go" time and time again, i was singing along at the top of my lungs and ready to hop on a plane and head to the sunshine, palm trees and pacific.
i want to go on a vacation in the coming months. i know i'm going to go to d.c. soon, one way or the other. but part of me really wants to get to the left coast - finally. anyone up for playing the role of potential traveling companion?
i'm ready to go ...
12.24.2003
holiday wishes, further contemplation and whatnot
happy holidays, boys and girls - i hope christmas is grand for those who celebrate it, may i wish a happy hanukah to those who celebrate that (and those who, according to my mother, may celebrate it as well), and a happy festivus to the rest of us.
this is the first year in awhile for which i truly am more looking forward to giving than receiving. each year, i enjoy the reactions people have from gifts i've selected for them, but this year i think i raised the vickie level of giving to a new level. not necessarily because i bought more or spent more or whatnot - although i will say that i did (hey, i'm making up for a year here - it's an ongoing process) - but it's really just because i made sure each gift i purchased was special in its own particular way. i'm most excited about my parents - i worry about jinxing it all, so i'll describe what i did in a post-christmas post (that was probably as weird to type as it must have been to read).
speaking of posting ... i have a policy of never deleting posts (i'm determined to keep a record of my feelings at the time in which i write - trust me, there are many an embarrassing post i wish i would delete, but never do), but i should comment on the one i made last week. it wasn't really fair of me - i was having a wretched few days and just felt like venting however i could. and this proved to be the forum for that. what it all comes down to is that i blog for myself - or, rather, i always have and was starting to lose track of that. i began writing for others - and that's not beneficial to anyone. so i'm going to keep posting (as if there was any doubt, really, about whether i could not blog, right?), but revert to posting for myself. as of the next post, that is.
so my apologies for being a bitch - it wasn't fair of me to do and i acknowledge that (see, ultimately i always wind up acknowledging when i'm wrong - sometimes it just takes awhile).
anyhoo. i'm preparing to send out more holiday wishes, as well as address info for those interested in where i'm now going to be spending my days and nights (a.k.a. the apartment). if you want to receive word, comment and let me know - i'll get it to you asap.
so merry christmas, happy holidays, enjoy some much-deserved time off. i'm sending love to you all, currently from a little spot in proctor, tomorrow from massachusetts. good times.
p.s. sign that friends know me ever so well - in my christmas gift from beth, she included not one, not two, but three new flavors of lip gloss - my gloss-addicted soul rejoices. mike & ike (two flavors) and "boys are smelly" lip jelly. rock on ...
happy holidays, boys and girls - i hope christmas is grand for those who celebrate it, may i wish a happy hanukah to those who celebrate that (and those who, according to my mother, may celebrate it as well), and a happy festivus to the rest of us.
this is the first year in awhile for which i truly am more looking forward to giving than receiving. each year, i enjoy the reactions people have from gifts i've selected for them, but this year i think i raised the vickie level of giving to a new level. not necessarily because i bought more or spent more or whatnot - although i will say that i did (hey, i'm making up for a year here - it's an ongoing process) - but it's really just because i made sure each gift i purchased was special in its own particular way. i'm most excited about my parents - i worry about jinxing it all, so i'll describe what i did in a post-christmas post (that was probably as weird to type as it must have been to read).
speaking of posting ... i have a policy of never deleting posts (i'm determined to keep a record of my feelings at the time in which i write - trust me, there are many an embarrassing post i wish i would delete, but never do), but i should comment on the one i made last week. it wasn't really fair of me - i was having a wretched few days and just felt like venting however i could. and this proved to be the forum for that. what it all comes down to is that i blog for myself - or, rather, i always have and was starting to lose track of that. i began writing for others - and that's not beneficial to anyone. so i'm going to keep posting (as if there was any doubt, really, about whether i could not blog, right?), but revert to posting for myself. as of the next post, that is.
so my apologies for being a bitch - it wasn't fair of me to do and i acknowledge that (see, ultimately i always wind up acknowledging when i'm wrong - sometimes it just takes awhile).
anyhoo. i'm preparing to send out more holiday wishes, as well as address info for those interested in where i'm now going to be spending my days and nights (a.k.a. the apartment). if you want to receive word, comment and let me know - i'll get it to you asap.
so merry christmas, happy holidays, enjoy some much-deserved time off. i'm sending love to you all, currently from a little spot in proctor, tomorrow from massachusetts. good times.
p.s. sign that friends know me ever so well - in my christmas gift from beth, she included not one, not two, but three new flavors of lip gloss - my gloss-addicted soul rejoices. mike & ike (two flavors) and "boys are smelly" lip jelly. rock on ...
12.23.2003
the weather and the barren city streets at this late hour...
+ what did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?: realized the best thing i could do to improve a situation was to walk away.
+ did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next
year?: i don't generally make new year's resolutions since i'm so wretchedly bad at keeping them. i did make one that i did not keep, but i think i made up for it with some mid-year resolutions that i did follow through on and then some.
+ did anyone close to you give birth?: not that i'm aware of ...
+ did anyone close to you die?: someone who once was close to me did. justin (who, by the way, is included in people magazine's tribute to soldiers killed in the line of duy).
+ what places did you visit?: vermont, dc, vermont, dc - over and over again. vegas, albany, northampton, arlington, boston, new hampshire, saratoga. quasi-resolution for 2004: expand horizons more - more traveling. who's game?
+ what would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?: self-respect.
+ what date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory?: 1-7-03 and 11-10-03.
+ what was your biggest achievement of the year?: staff writer.
+ what was your biggest failure?: don't go there ...
+ did you suffer illness or injury?: yes.
+ what was the best thing you bought?: an apartment (well, ok, didn't buy it, but you know what i mean). or the numerous tickets for amazing concerts.
+ whose behavior merited celebration?: ??? me, i guess?
+ whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: at different points: mine, old friends and john mayer.
+ where did most of your money go?: music, artwork and old navy.
+ what did you get really, really, really excited about?: the anticipation of seeing mraz in concert for the first time (repeat seven or eight times, as i was always prevented), then seeing mraz in concert in october. friends visiting my lil spot in dc. roaming the national mall. cherry blossoms. howie day live. tori amos live. averi live. feeling safe.
+ what song[s] will always remind you of 2003?: mraz - 0% interest and the remedy. howie day - sunday morning song (live). counting crows - long december.
+ compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier and sadder at the same time.
ii. thinner or fatter? --
iii. richer or poorer? poorer. much. but happier about it.
+ what do you wish you'd done more of: not put my smiley face on all the time around people and not taken far more than my fair share of bullshit.
+ what do you wish you'd done less of?: see above. try to figure out why everything happens.
+ how will you be spending the holidays?: going to southern vermont tomorrow evening for a couple of hours, then heading to massachusetts. spending christmas at my grandmother's, stopping by t's apartment so we can pick up my loveseat, then eventually bringing it up to my apartment. blowing kisses to boston and singing along with the radio. i think i'm back late friday.
+ how will you be spending new years?: up until midnight, i'll be trapsing around burlington, covering first night. at and after midnight is still up in the air. hopefully with friends and feeling the love.
+ did you fall in love in 2003?: in the strictest of senses, no. but i added several people to my list of loved ones.
+ how many one night stands?: good god, far too many to count. lost track by march.
+ what was your favorite TV program?: reality television claims another victim. and the west wing, obviously.
+ do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: not "hate," per se ... i'm a lover not a hater.
+ do you like anyone now that you hated this time last year?: nope.
+ what was the best book you read?: the da vinci code.
+ what was your greatest musical discovery?: mraz. damien rice. ryan adams. bleu. maroon 5.
+ what did you want and get?: dc friends.
+ what did you want and not get?: too much.
+ what was your favorite film of this year?: many of you would expect me to say "lotr." it's up there, but so is "bend it like beckham."
+ what did you do on your birthday?: worked, went to burlington to fill out job stuff. bought myself presents because i could, finished the night with shenandoah shakespeare, catching up with college friends and a content drive home.
+ what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: a full-time job. and the peace of knowing everything i went through was for a reason.
+ how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?: it matured. i learned to love dressier clothes.
+ what kept you sane?: music, certain friends, writing, theater.
+ which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: i fancy mraz.
+ what political issue stirred you the most?: iraq.
+ who did you miss?: friends back in vermont. paul, chloe, kevin.
+ who was the best new person you met?: paul!
+ tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: don't always look ahead. you miss what you have at present.
+ quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "it's when you cry just a little, but you laugh in the middle, that you've made it."
--------------------
a lovely end to a lovely year of journaling. thank you, jason.
--------------------
1/23/04 - gavin degraw, michael tolcher and virginia coalition at uvm
1/30/04 - melissa ferrick at higher ground
2/5/04 - matt nathanson at higher ground
2/11/04 - o.a.r at memorial auditorium
2/27/04 - bright eyes and others at higher ground
3/20/04 - jon stewart at the orpheum
4/17/04 - damien rice at avalon
----------------------
finally, from one year ago:
december 23, 2002
twas the day before the night before christmas
and all through the office
the people were fleeing
save this congressional novice
finishing up her last day
taking calls like she should
vickie realized she'd be home
in just a few hours, yes, she would
this morning she packed up her suitcase
squeezed in her presents with care
with the hope that when she arrived in albany
her bags would also be there
the senator offered her wishes
of holiday cheer
and she sent them right back to him
the lovely old dear
who had given her two weeks
to relax and to play
and enjoy some time in new england
without docking her pay
so now she just waits
for the office to close
then to grab all her luggage
and head to the airport to doze
for a couple of hours
til her airplane arrives
and she looks for a window seat
and the plane takes off and it flies
to albany airport
where she'll see her fam
then hop in the car
get home and BAM!
it'll be christmas as normal
with her family about
just know that she wants to
jump around, scream and shout
"merry christmas to you!
for it's time for great joy
holiday wishes to all of you,
blog readers, each girl and each boy.
may your holidays be lovely
may you want for naught.
and may you realize
all the blessings you've got."
so with that thought she prepares
for her journey away
and cannot wait to see you
in the upcoming days!
+ what did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?: realized the best thing i could do to improve a situation was to walk away.
+ did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next
year?: i don't generally make new year's resolutions since i'm so wretchedly bad at keeping them. i did make one that i did not keep, but i think i made up for it with some mid-year resolutions that i did follow through on and then some.
+ did anyone close to you give birth?: not that i'm aware of ...
+ did anyone close to you die?: someone who once was close to me did. justin (who, by the way, is included in people magazine's tribute to soldiers killed in the line of duy).
+ what places did you visit?: vermont, dc, vermont, dc - over and over again. vegas, albany, northampton, arlington, boston, new hampshire, saratoga. quasi-resolution for 2004: expand horizons more - more traveling. who's game?
+ what would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?: self-respect.
+ what date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory?: 1-7-03 and 11-10-03.
+ what was your biggest achievement of the year?: staff writer.
+ what was your biggest failure?: don't go there ...
+ did you suffer illness or injury?: yes.
+ what was the best thing you bought?: an apartment (well, ok, didn't buy it, but you know what i mean). or the numerous tickets for amazing concerts.
+ whose behavior merited celebration?: ??? me, i guess?
+ whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: at different points: mine, old friends and john mayer.
+ where did most of your money go?: music, artwork and old navy.
+ what did you get really, really, really excited about?: the anticipation of seeing mraz in concert for the first time (repeat seven or eight times, as i was always prevented), then seeing mraz in concert in october. friends visiting my lil spot in dc. roaming the national mall. cherry blossoms. howie day live. tori amos live. averi live. feeling safe.
+ what song[s] will always remind you of 2003?: mraz - 0% interest and the remedy. howie day - sunday morning song (live). counting crows - long december.
+ compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier and sadder at the same time.
ii. thinner or fatter? --
iii. richer or poorer? poorer. much. but happier about it.
+ what do you wish you'd done more of: not put my smiley face on all the time around people and not taken far more than my fair share of bullshit.
+ what do you wish you'd done less of?: see above. try to figure out why everything happens.
+ how will you be spending the holidays?: going to southern vermont tomorrow evening for a couple of hours, then heading to massachusetts. spending christmas at my grandmother's, stopping by t's apartment so we can pick up my loveseat, then eventually bringing it up to my apartment. blowing kisses to boston and singing along with the radio. i think i'm back late friday.
+ how will you be spending new years?: up until midnight, i'll be trapsing around burlington, covering first night. at and after midnight is still up in the air. hopefully with friends and feeling the love.
+ did you fall in love in 2003?: in the strictest of senses, no. but i added several people to my list of loved ones.
+ how many one night stands?: good god, far too many to count. lost track by march.
+ what was your favorite TV program?: reality television claims another victim. and the west wing, obviously.
+ do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: not "hate," per se ... i'm a lover not a hater.
+ do you like anyone now that you hated this time last year?: nope.
+ what was the best book you read?: the da vinci code.
+ what was your greatest musical discovery?: mraz. damien rice. ryan adams. bleu. maroon 5.
+ what did you want and get?: dc friends.
+ what did you want and not get?: too much.
+ what was your favorite film of this year?: many of you would expect me to say "lotr." it's up there, but so is "bend it like beckham."
+ what did you do on your birthday?: worked, went to burlington to fill out job stuff. bought myself presents because i could, finished the night with shenandoah shakespeare, catching up with college friends and a content drive home.
+ what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: a full-time job. and the peace of knowing everything i went through was for a reason.
+ how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?: it matured. i learned to love dressier clothes.
+ what kept you sane?: music, certain friends, writing, theater.
+ which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: i fancy mraz.
+ what political issue stirred you the most?: iraq.
+ who did you miss?: friends back in vermont. paul, chloe, kevin.
+ who was the best new person you met?: paul!
+ tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: don't always look ahead. you miss what you have at present.
+ quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "it's when you cry just a little, but you laugh in the middle, that you've made it."
--------------------
a lovely end to a lovely year of journaling. thank you, jason.
--------------------
1/23/04 - gavin degraw, michael tolcher and virginia coalition at uvm
1/30/04 - melissa ferrick at higher ground
2/5/04 - matt nathanson at higher ground
2/11/04 - o.a.r at memorial auditorium
2/27/04 - bright eyes and others at higher ground
3/20/04 - jon stewart at the orpheum
4/17/04 - damien rice at avalon
----------------------
finally, from one year ago:
december 23, 2002
twas the day before the night before christmas
and all through the office
the people were fleeing
save this congressional novice
finishing up her last day
taking calls like she should
vickie realized she'd be home
in just a few hours, yes, she would
this morning she packed up her suitcase
squeezed in her presents with care
with the hope that when she arrived in albany
her bags would also be there
the senator offered her wishes
of holiday cheer
and she sent them right back to him
the lovely old dear
who had given her two weeks
to relax and to play
and enjoy some time in new england
without docking her pay
so now she just waits
for the office to close
then to grab all her luggage
and head to the airport to doze
for a couple of hours
til her airplane arrives
and she looks for a window seat
and the plane takes off and it flies
to albany airport
where she'll see her fam
then hop in the car
get home and BAM!
it'll be christmas as normal
with her family about
just know that she wants to
jump around, scream and shout
"merry christmas to you!
for it's time for great joy
holiday wishes to all of you,
blog readers, each girl and each boy.
may your holidays be lovely
may you want for naught.
and may you realize
all the blessings you've got."
so with that thought she prepares
for her journey away
and cannot wait to see you
in the upcoming days!
12.19.2003
this concludes our broadcast day.
i had a whole long post that was just deleted when the mraz desktop notification thing took me to the mraz news site. wankers.
anyway. i should begin with today's recipient of the "revelrevel gold star award" -- chris! after a ridiculous day at work and before i begin to work on my column, which i don't really feel the energy to do because my brain is fried, i came home, hopped onto the computer and checked some email. since i never receive email at the address listed here, i haven't checked it in eons. but i had an email waiting for me from last saturday. chris, who had seen my comment about not finding the "shy that way" mp3, dropped me a line to provide the link to the mp3. which i'm listening to right now and which i love. therefore, chris brought some sunshine into an otherwise overcast day filled with snow.
you rule. thank you so much. drop me another line sometime, please!
in other news. i'm contemplating giving up the regular posting for a little while. a blogger sabbatical, if you will. i'll still be writing, obviously, and may post future rambles a little later, but i'm not sure the continuation of my daily posting is the best of ideas right now.
why, you ask? well, it's complicated, yet remarkably simple. i have no idea of who reads, i have no idea of who tries to catch up on my exploits and misadventures anymore. i love the random notes from people who have stumbled across this - it makes me so happy to get the little notes from people saying they connected with something i said or thought.
but lately i've been feeling as if i've been abducted to this planet of workaholics and i've had no contact with the rest of the human race. i'm trying to send my message back to earth and very well could be remembered by people back home, but i have no way of knowing.
confused yet? i'll try to explain a little better. let's think for a moment of person a. p.a. could be someone i know/respect/adore - a friend whose opinion, insight and perspective has been and continues to be important to me. let's say p.a. used to read frequently. but i also heard from p.a. on a more personal level from time to time. now, p.a. could very well be attempting to keep in touch with my life by reading. but i have no idea. p.a. reads the blog, maybe once a week, once every couple of weeks. he/she sees what i've written about, assumes he/she knows what's going down in my life and promises him/herself that he/she will drop me a line or give me a call sometime very soon. but schedules get hectic, days turn into weeks and i still have no idea that p.a. is even out there anymore.
meanwhile, as i said, p.a. thinks he/she knows what's going on with me. well, i'll be honest: of course i don't write about everything going on in my head. not here, anyway. there are things about me that i'm more than willing to share with a friend, even someone i am just getting to know, but i'm not going to share these things with anyone who happens to find this while searching for something about "big fucking boots" or the latest information about jonathan brandis' hanging.
i've spent so much time lately focusing on keeping a smile on, rocking the positivity, showing everyone around me that i'm capable of becoming a part of what i've always wanted to be a part of. with nothing certain, nothing concrete on which i could place my trust and hopes, i've been left focusing on what i need to do and trying to convince myself of my ability and strengths as much as i've tried convincing everyone else.
frankly, i'm tired. it's hard to do on your own. i feel as if everything i do lately is work-related. i talk about work when i'm not working, i think about work when i'm not talking about work, i'm even dreaming about work when i'm not even consciously thinking about work. i want some time to not be the girl working her arse off for a position. i want to be able to enjoy a day off and not think about what i should be doing. i want to curl up with a book, a cd, a movie and just lose myself in the moment. i want to bask in the warmth of a friend's smile or curl up in a hug and not have to feel as if everything has to be wonderful. i want to be able to honestly answer a heart-felt inquiry about my life - but in order to do so, i need to be able to have time to think about how things are and how i'm doing.
but most of all, i need to just feel connected. and i'm not really sure that this is helping that right now. because you may read (and you very well may not read) what's happening and think it's all good because you know. but i don't know what's happening on the other end. and i don't feel like it's fair to share bits of myself without reservation when what i want right now is to get the same in return.
i'm still thinking about the options. i haven't made a decision. and i'm sure it doesn't really matter to you one way or the other. but i'd like to think that, for some of you, it does matter. and if it's selfish of me to ask your thoughts, so be it. and if i stop posting regularly and i wind up feeling even less connected, that's a sign of something too.
but i guess i just want to see how things can improve. so, for the time being, i leave it in your hands. if you want to know what's going on in my life, ask me. write. call. leave a comment here if you must. if you don't - well, thanks for reading. check back from time to time to see if i've changed my mind.
for now, though, take care.
cheers,
victoria
i had a whole long post that was just deleted when the mraz desktop notification thing took me to the mraz news site. wankers.
anyway. i should begin with today's recipient of the "revelrevel gold star award" -- chris! after a ridiculous day at work and before i begin to work on my column, which i don't really feel the energy to do because my brain is fried, i came home, hopped onto the computer and checked some email. since i never receive email at the address listed here, i haven't checked it in eons. but i had an email waiting for me from last saturday. chris, who had seen my comment about not finding the "shy that way" mp3, dropped me a line to provide the link to the mp3. which i'm listening to right now and which i love. therefore, chris brought some sunshine into an otherwise overcast day filled with snow.
you rule. thank you so much. drop me another line sometime, please!
in other news. i'm contemplating giving up the regular posting for a little while. a blogger sabbatical, if you will. i'll still be writing, obviously, and may post future rambles a little later, but i'm not sure the continuation of my daily posting is the best of ideas right now.
why, you ask? well, it's complicated, yet remarkably simple. i have no idea of who reads, i have no idea of who tries to catch up on my exploits and misadventures anymore. i love the random notes from people who have stumbled across this - it makes me so happy to get the little notes from people saying they connected with something i said or thought.
but lately i've been feeling as if i've been abducted to this planet of workaholics and i've had no contact with the rest of the human race. i'm trying to send my message back to earth and very well could be remembered by people back home, but i have no way of knowing.
confused yet? i'll try to explain a little better. let's think for a moment of person a. p.a. could be someone i know/respect/adore - a friend whose opinion, insight and perspective has been and continues to be important to me. let's say p.a. used to read frequently. but i also heard from p.a. on a more personal level from time to time. now, p.a. could very well be attempting to keep in touch with my life by reading. but i have no idea. p.a. reads the blog, maybe once a week, once every couple of weeks. he/she sees what i've written about, assumes he/she knows what's going down in my life and promises him/herself that he/she will drop me a line or give me a call sometime very soon. but schedules get hectic, days turn into weeks and i still have no idea that p.a. is even out there anymore.
meanwhile, as i said, p.a. thinks he/she knows what's going on with me. well, i'll be honest: of course i don't write about everything going on in my head. not here, anyway. there are things about me that i'm more than willing to share with a friend, even someone i am just getting to know, but i'm not going to share these things with anyone who happens to find this while searching for something about "big fucking boots" or the latest information about jonathan brandis' hanging.
i've spent so much time lately focusing on keeping a smile on, rocking the positivity, showing everyone around me that i'm capable of becoming a part of what i've always wanted to be a part of. with nothing certain, nothing concrete on which i could place my trust and hopes, i've been left focusing on what i need to do and trying to convince myself of my ability and strengths as much as i've tried convincing everyone else.
frankly, i'm tired. it's hard to do on your own. i feel as if everything i do lately is work-related. i talk about work when i'm not working, i think about work when i'm not talking about work, i'm even dreaming about work when i'm not even consciously thinking about work. i want some time to not be the girl working her arse off for a position. i want to be able to enjoy a day off and not think about what i should be doing. i want to curl up with a book, a cd, a movie and just lose myself in the moment. i want to bask in the warmth of a friend's smile or curl up in a hug and not have to feel as if everything has to be wonderful. i want to be able to honestly answer a heart-felt inquiry about my life - but in order to do so, i need to be able to have time to think about how things are and how i'm doing.
but most of all, i need to just feel connected. and i'm not really sure that this is helping that right now. because you may read (and you very well may not read) what's happening and think it's all good because you know. but i don't know what's happening on the other end. and i don't feel like it's fair to share bits of myself without reservation when what i want right now is to get the same in return.
i'm still thinking about the options. i haven't made a decision. and i'm sure it doesn't really matter to you one way or the other. but i'd like to think that, for some of you, it does matter. and if it's selfish of me to ask your thoughts, so be it. and if i stop posting regularly and i wind up feeling even less connected, that's a sign of something too.
but i guess i just want to see how things can improve. so, for the time being, i leave it in your hands. if you want to know what's going on in my life, ask me. write. call. leave a comment here if you must. if you don't - well, thanks for reading. check back from time to time to see if i've changed my mind.
for now, though, take care.
cheers,
victoria
clarifaction and other quick rambles.
i would like to be very clear one something of extreme importance. it has come to my attention that at least one of the 3,340,294 - er, i meant three - of you who follow my little attempts at english was confused by my apparent issues with "spiderman 2." i would like to state for the record that "spiderman 2" would be a lovely title. lacking creativity, blut lovely. my issue was the fact that the movie was titled "2." just the number. no spiderman, no nothing. just 2. "2"=ego not even a buff tobey will warrant.
few quick lines of gibberish before i head to bed for a short winter's nap. burlington received another snowstorm last night. maybe a little less than eight inches. while i watched a movie ("two weeks notice" - cute and fluffy and i still love hugh grant) and dozed, the snow fell from the sky, rapidly descening in what seemed like flakes the size of cotton balls. i was further boggled by the fact that i saw and heard a lightning/thunder combo. in december. in the middle of a snowstorm. it was a first for me. that, combined with my dozy state, let to a thoroughly out of it me when the phone rang shortly thereafter ...
but that's not the task at hand. i need mailing adresses (addresses? i'm 23 years old and i still, for whatever reason, can't spell that word to save my life). christmas has snuck up on me so quickly that i have just started my turning-over-a-new-leaf project of writing holiday cards. i'd like to be able to send them. email me at hotmail with the addy so i can send you holiday love. you might get them a little late (well, ok, you will), but just think - it's my way of making sure the post-holiday blues are brightened.
alright, time for bed. it's been a laborously annoying day and i want it to end. but, in good news, at least i was able to paint. which means part 2 of the 2003 "my family will freak when they see their gifts" present-finding process is complete.
and then i need to finish up a few others ... why do i procrastinate EVERY YEAR?!?!?!
p.s. my left fingers are nice and sore (in the good way) because someone found a half hour to play guitar today ...
i would like to be very clear one something of extreme importance. it has come to my attention that at least one of the 3,340,294 - er, i meant three - of you who follow my little attempts at english was confused by my apparent issues with "spiderman 2." i would like to state for the record that "spiderman 2" would be a lovely title. lacking creativity, blut lovely. my issue was the fact that the movie was titled "2." just the number. no spiderman, no nothing. just 2. "2"=ego not even a buff tobey will warrant.
few quick lines of gibberish before i head to bed for a short winter's nap. burlington received another snowstorm last night. maybe a little less than eight inches. while i watched a movie ("two weeks notice" - cute and fluffy and i still love hugh grant) and dozed, the snow fell from the sky, rapidly descening in what seemed like flakes the size of cotton balls. i was further boggled by the fact that i saw and heard a lightning/thunder combo. in december. in the middle of a snowstorm. it was a first for me. that, combined with my dozy state, let to a thoroughly out of it me when the phone rang shortly thereafter ...
but that's not the task at hand. i need mailing adresses (addresses? i'm 23 years old and i still, for whatever reason, can't spell that word to save my life). christmas has snuck up on me so quickly that i have just started my turning-over-a-new-leaf project of writing holiday cards. i'd like to be able to send them. email me at hotmail with the addy so i can send you holiday love. you might get them a little late (well, ok, you will), but just think - it's my way of making sure the post-holiday blues are brightened.
alright, time for bed. it's been a laborously annoying day and i want it to end. but, in good news, at least i was able to paint. which means part 2 of the 2003 "my family will freak when they see their gifts" present-finding process is complete.
and then i need to finish up a few others ... why do i procrastinate EVERY YEAR?!?!?!
p.s. my left fingers are nice and sore (in the good way) because someone found a half hour to play guitar today ...
12.17.2003
tickled.
my sevendays astrological forecast (side note: i really want to have my star chart assembled at some point. where in burlington would one go to have this done and how much would such a thing cost me?):
the coming year will be a favorable time to double your committment to rowdy fun. i encourage you to attend more parties than usual and always be on the lookout for how you can energize social occasions with acts of joyous abandon. you'll be wise to infuse even your intimate encounters with boisterous amusements. therefore, scorpio, please consider doing more handstands on barstools in 2004. try dancing on tabletops with only some of your clothes on, slurping right out of punch bowls, starting food fights and knocking over lamps while spontaneously making love. if i were going to get you a symbolic holiday gift this year, it might be a chandelier, conveying to you my hope that you will bring back the lost art of swinging on chandeliers.
amen. works for me.
i'm tired. too much to do today. will paint. will possibly go to the gym (possibly tomorrow instead?). will organize life. will prepare for story tomorrow. will prepare for concert for column tomorrow night. will try to avoid the nasty snow/sleet/rain mixture coming down from the heavens.
bah.
my sevendays astrological forecast (side note: i really want to have my star chart assembled at some point. where in burlington would one go to have this done and how much would such a thing cost me?):
the coming year will be a favorable time to double your committment to rowdy fun. i encourage you to attend more parties than usual and always be on the lookout for how you can energize social occasions with acts of joyous abandon. you'll be wise to infuse even your intimate encounters with boisterous amusements. therefore, scorpio, please consider doing more handstands on barstools in 2004. try dancing on tabletops with only some of your clothes on, slurping right out of punch bowls, starting food fights and knocking over lamps while spontaneously making love. if i were going to get you a symbolic holiday gift this year, it might be a chandelier, conveying to you my hope that you will bring back the lost art of swinging on chandeliers.
amen. works for me.
i'm tired. too much to do today. will paint. will possibly go to the gym (possibly tomorrow instead?). will organize life. will prepare for story tomorrow. will prepare for concert for column tomorrow night. will try to avoid the nasty snow/sleet/rain mixture coming down from the heavens.
bah.
no review. instead a parcel of love letters.
a., k. and i wished each other a happy "lord of the rings" day at midnight. six minutes later, the screen dimmed and we were able to watch "return of the king" with about another 250 to 300 diehards.
i'm not revealing anything about the movie, as i hate when people do that to me, particularly when i haven't had an opportunity to even think about watching it yet. but i will say that i saw previews for the following:
- hidalgo (another viggo on horseback. commentary from my friends - "so basically it's seabiscuit in the desert?")
- the punisher (tagline: "it's not revenge. it's punishment." lame.)
- spiderman 2 (title is actually just "2" at the moment. looked good for a spiderman flick - i'll probably see it. but they need to give it something reasonable for a title. "2" is annoying.)
- the third harry potter (! june 4, baby! sirius doesn't look like i expected - the kids freaked me out, seeing how grown up they've become - i don't know what the deal with the frog chorus is. but i'm psyched.)
- the butterfly effect (ashton kutcher is a man conflicted. a man conflicted who jumps back and forth through his life to change it for the better. eh, whatever. let's focus on the truth of it. ashton kutcher is a man seen on numerous occasions without his shirt on, which means people will flock to see it.)
anyway. my letters. well, i suppose they'd actually be more appropriate for postcards or something, but whatever. i went to sleep at 5 a.m. and woke up at 9:30 a.m. deal with it.
dear peter jackson -
you're bloody brilliant. loved loved loved the film. thank you.
kisses.
vickie
my dear orlando -
it's been like this for two years now, each time i start to write you off, i wind up seeing you in the theater and the inner teenybopper swoons. never thought i'd be so smitten by an actor sporting longer blonde hair than mine usually is. you were wonderful. again.
love,
victoria
ps. drop kate b. call me. ;-)
dear sean -
how the hell did you manage to bring some of "rudy" into "lord of the rings?" it was grand. you were grand. delightful job.
xoxoxo
vickie
dear sir ian -
would you be interested in assuming the role of a surrogate grandfather? if so, please contact me.
most respectfully,
victoria
dear liv, cate and miranda -
you were amazing in the trilogy. miranda, you, in particular, rock. but i must know: how did you get into a film with such amazing male co-stars? please have your people talk to my people. as soon as i get some.
much obliged,
vickie
a., k. and i wished each other a happy "lord of the rings" day at midnight. six minutes later, the screen dimmed and we were able to watch "return of the king" with about another 250 to 300 diehards.
i'm not revealing anything about the movie, as i hate when people do that to me, particularly when i haven't had an opportunity to even think about watching it yet. but i will say that i saw previews for the following:
- hidalgo (another viggo on horseback. commentary from my friends - "so basically it's seabiscuit in the desert?")
- the punisher (tagline: "it's not revenge. it's punishment." lame.)
- spiderman 2 (title is actually just "2" at the moment. looked good for a spiderman flick - i'll probably see it. but they need to give it something reasonable for a title. "2" is annoying.)
- the third harry potter (! june 4, baby! sirius doesn't look like i expected - the kids freaked me out, seeing how grown up they've become - i don't know what the deal with the frog chorus is. but i'm psyched.)
- the butterfly effect (ashton kutcher is a man conflicted. a man conflicted who jumps back and forth through his life to change it for the better. eh, whatever. let's focus on the truth of it. ashton kutcher is a man seen on numerous occasions without his shirt on, which means people will flock to see it.)
anyway. my letters. well, i suppose they'd actually be more appropriate for postcards or something, but whatever. i went to sleep at 5 a.m. and woke up at 9:30 a.m. deal with it.
dear peter jackson -
you're bloody brilliant. loved loved loved the film. thank you.
kisses.
vickie
my dear orlando -
it's been like this for two years now, each time i start to write you off, i wind up seeing you in the theater and the inner teenybopper swoons. never thought i'd be so smitten by an actor sporting longer blonde hair than mine usually is. you were wonderful. again.
love,
victoria
ps. drop kate b. call me. ;-)
dear sean -
how the hell did you manage to bring some of "rudy" into "lord of the rings?" it was grand. you were grand. delightful job.
xoxoxo
vickie
dear sir ian -
would you be interested in assuming the role of a surrogate grandfather? if so, please contact me.
most respectfully,
victoria
dear liv, cate and miranda -
you were amazing in the trilogy. miranda, you, in particular, rock. but i must know: how did you get into a film with such amazing male co-stars? please have your people talk to my people. as soon as i get some.
much obliged,
vickie
12.16.2003
fringe benefits.
one of the times that i love my job. i'm trying to see if i can get clearance from one of the area movie theaters showing "lotr" at midnight so i can cover the atmosphere for a story. which means i would also get to see the movie.
if i don't tonight, it looks like i'll probably go tomorrow and cover first normal showings.
hurrah!
but fear not, i am sure i will be more than up for multiple viewings ... let me know and i'll be there with you to see the end of frodo's quest.
revelrevelrevel ... i'm such a dork.
in other entertainment news, i picked up two cds today. presents for myself to cheer myself up about the job situation at present. ryan adams' "love is hell part 2" and maroon 5 "songs about jane." i'd been meaning to check out m5 anyway and finally (because i'm in a little mp3 bubble and am frustrated by all the non-vickie music i hear when i turn on the radio these days) found out last night that m5 does "harder to breathe," a song i love. i kept referring to it as "the song that i know justin timberlake doesn't do, but the voice sounds ridiculously similar to his, but i know the buzz would never play jt so it's got to be someone else."
i'll keep you posted on what i think of both, but i assume i'll enjoy both. i've enjoyed the past two ra albums i've purchased (rock n roll and love is hell part 1), and m5 seems like something i've always wanted to hear more of. i'm surprised i haven't yet ...
one of the times that i love my job. i'm trying to see if i can get clearance from one of the area movie theaters showing "lotr" at midnight so i can cover the atmosphere for a story. which means i would also get to see the movie.
if i don't tonight, it looks like i'll probably go tomorrow and cover first normal showings.
hurrah!
but fear not, i am sure i will be more than up for multiple viewings ... let me know and i'll be there with you to see the end of frodo's quest.
revelrevelrevel ... i'm such a dork.
in other entertainment news, i picked up two cds today. presents for myself to cheer myself up about the job situation at present. ryan adams' "love is hell part 2" and maroon 5 "songs about jane." i'd been meaning to check out m5 anyway and finally (because i'm in a little mp3 bubble and am frustrated by all the non-vickie music i hear when i turn on the radio these days) found out last night that m5 does "harder to breathe," a song i love. i kept referring to it as "the song that i know justin timberlake doesn't do, but the voice sounds ridiculously similar to his, but i know the buzz would never play jt so it's got to be someone else."
i'll keep you posted on what i think of both, but i assume i'll enjoy both. i've enjoyed the past two ra albums i've purchased (rock n roll and love is hell part 1), and m5 seems like something i've always wanted to hear more of. i'm surprised i haven't yet ...
12.15.2003
flashes of nostalgia.
it's funny. the things you miss and the moments when you miss them. this evening, as i sit here waiting to finetune my snow story, i started thinking about all the things i want to do tonight and the lack of time i have to really do any of them. i want to paint (tomorrow evening). i want to go to the gym (tomorrow morning so i don't get to work ridiculously early again?). i want to get a universal remote so i can finally get at least a little bit of reception on my tv (possibly tonight, if i can unearth my car without losing feeling in my hands). i want to buy a new sweater (tonight as well?) and a three-hole punch so i can organize and store away the printed out digicol-ed copies of my articles. i have a stack of printed pages about four-fifths of an inch thick full of stories. always good to have clips - in multiple forms.
i want to decorate my apartment (who knows when). i want to laugh and smile with people in my living room - not just on the phone. i want to come home and hear music or a television already on.
thinking about the television gave me the first flash of nostalgia today. i remembered walking back into the apartment at the end of a long day and hearing the daily dose of "the simpsons" coming through the door just before mine. on a few occasions (not nearly as many as should have been, i realize now), i would knock on the door, settle on a corner of the bed and chat, recreating the moments from my day and learning of tidbits from a newsroom miles and states away from where i am now.
it made me think of the other good things i miss - watching "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" in the living room, sprawled out on a couch, laughing with a roommate about the trials and tribulations of the people on screen, my cell phone periodically ringing with color commentary from vermont. sitting in my room during a mass cd-burning session, listening to the opening notes of "she says" come from my much-neglected guitar. laughing about sock-sharing offers. drooling en masse over finding ashton kutcher's clone at lucky bar. it's on the house at chipotle. pint glass vodka cran's. tirelessly trying to put the perfect amount of hot pepper on a jumbo slice after a night of debauchery. hugs and cheesecake factory. spring sunshine warming the granite on which i sprawled out for mid-afternoon dozes. the wonders of trader joe's (sorry, citymarket doesn't compare there) and weekly walks up wisconsin, almost all the way to tenleytown. the matisse room at the national gallery. the dark wood inside the folger.
even things about my job come back and make me smile. just the little things, though - an officer holding the door for me with a smile as i carried eight flags down the hall. seeing the faces of visitors light up as they walked into the rotunda. talking with a friend and having her ask me how i'm doing and actually want to know - and care about my reply. taking a few moments during errands to walk out of the basement capitol entrance and look out over the mall, seeing the faces of visitors look up at the building with wonder, capturing an endless number of images on their cameras. being able to lead my family or friends onto the minisubway and walk them through the building, speaking matter-of-factly about the fact that abraham lincoln's desk was here, john quincy adams was there - hey tom, look. franklin pierce was here. school props, yo.
it's not necessarily that i miss washington - i'm much happier, healthier and connected here. but i miss moments of it - moments that i don't think i realized were special until i was gone. and i miss the people that made those moments happen.
i guess that's really what it comes down to. i know i've been busy, i know my emails haven't been nearly as frequent as i might like, but those people are in my mind constantly. and i hope sometime soon to be able to take a mini-vacation, head down south and make a few more memories, now that i'm wiser and ready to appreciate them more.
amazing how thinking about a universal remote can lead to such sappiness, eh?
in other news, lord of the rings. return of the king. i plan on trying to buy tickets to see if this weekend. who's with me? either saturday or sunday - i'm down with either. adam's giddy at the next desk about going tomorrow night and his excitement filled me with excitement.
it's funny. the things you miss and the moments when you miss them. this evening, as i sit here waiting to finetune my snow story, i started thinking about all the things i want to do tonight and the lack of time i have to really do any of them. i want to paint (tomorrow evening). i want to go to the gym (tomorrow morning so i don't get to work ridiculously early again?). i want to get a universal remote so i can finally get at least a little bit of reception on my tv (possibly tonight, if i can unearth my car without losing feeling in my hands). i want to buy a new sweater (tonight as well?) and a three-hole punch so i can organize and store away the printed out digicol-ed copies of my articles. i have a stack of printed pages about four-fifths of an inch thick full of stories. always good to have clips - in multiple forms.
i want to decorate my apartment (who knows when). i want to laugh and smile with people in my living room - not just on the phone. i want to come home and hear music or a television already on.
thinking about the television gave me the first flash of nostalgia today. i remembered walking back into the apartment at the end of a long day and hearing the daily dose of "the simpsons" coming through the door just before mine. on a few occasions (not nearly as many as should have been, i realize now), i would knock on the door, settle on a corner of the bed and chat, recreating the moments from my day and learning of tidbits from a newsroom miles and states away from where i am now.
it made me think of the other good things i miss - watching "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" in the living room, sprawled out on a couch, laughing with a roommate about the trials and tribulations of the people on screen, my cell phone periodically ringing with color commentary from vermont. sitting in my room during a mass cd-burning session, listening to the opening notes of "she says" come from my much-neglected guitar. laughing about sock-sharing offers. drooling en masse over finding ashton kutcher's clone at lucky bar. it's on the house at chipotle. pint glass vodka cran's. tirelessly trying to put the perfect amount of hot pepper on a jumbo slice after a night of debauchery. hugs and cheesecake factory. spring sunshine warming the granite on which i sprawled out for mid-afternoon dozes. the wonders of trader joe's (sorry, citymarket doesn't compare there) and weekly walks up wisconsin, almost all the way to tenleytown. the matisse room at the national gallery. the dark wood inside the folger.
even things about my job come back and make me smile. just the little things, though - an officer holding the door for me with a smile as i carried eight flags down the hall. seeing the faces of visitors light up as they walked into the rotunda. talking with a friend and having her ask me how i'm doing and actually want to know - and care about my reply. taking a few moments during errands to walk out of the basement capitol entrance and look out over the mall, seeing the faces of visitors look up at the building with wonder, capturing an endless number of images on their cameras. being able to lead my family or friends onto the minisubway and walk them through the building, speaking matter-of-factly about the fact that abraham lincoln's desk was here, john quincy adams was there - hey tom, look. franklin pierce was here. school props, yo.
it's not necessarily that i miss washington - i'm much happier, healthier and connected here. but i miss moments of it - moments that i don't think i realized were special until i was gone. and i miss the people that made those moments happen.
i guess that's really what it comes down to. i know i've been busy, i know my emails haven't been nearly as frequent as i might like, but those people are in my mind constantly. and i hope sometime soon to be able to take a mini-vacation, head down south and make a few more memories, now that i'm wiser and ready to appreciate them more.
amazing how thinking about a universal remote can lead to such sappiness, eh?
in other news, lord of the rings. return of the king. i plan on trying to buy tickets to see if this weekend. who's with me? either saturday or sunday - i'm down with either. adam's giddy at the next desk about going tomorrow night and his excitement filled me with excitement.
12.14.2003
your favorite intrepid snowbunny reporter.
i am cold. chilled, shivering, it's-frickin-freezing-mr.-bigglesworth cold. as the dreaded white stuff began to fall from the sky this evening, i bundled up as best i could in my work gear and hit the streets (i know how that sounded, looking at it now, but found it too amusing to edit. get your minds out of the gutter - i haven't reached that point yet). i was in search of people moving their cars because of the parking ban. why a ban? because just as the snow went away and i greeted my friendly neighborhood grass, there's another 12 to 24 inches on the way.
i found people, i talked with people, i became covered with snow (my black knit cap was completely white when i shuffled back into the office). good times. san diego, baby. now, please.
anyhoo. yes it's sunday and yes i'm at work. i was called in after my contact-with-the-human-world-starved soul was informed of hussein's capture by my trusty newssource elizabeth (i currently have no cable or whatnot and had planned on buying a remote today so i could hook up the antenna. postponed until tomorrow. that and painting). while learning of both hussein's arrest and jimmy fallon's john mayer spoof during "weekly update" last night (I MUST FIND VIDEO AND SOUND FILES), work called to see if i wanted to come in to help cover the iraq situation. did i? i was in as quickly as i could.
good times. overtimes.
i wrote some little sappy bit last night that i forgot to bring in, i'll have to do so tomorrow. i liked it enough to share.
but for now, i thaw, drying and warming while my fingers return to their normal flesh color (even with really warm gloves, they were lobster red when i came back. i want palm trees). and i leave you with yet another random survey i found. i figure i didn't do the friday five (as it dealt with winter and what i like about winter - and wait, there's not much at the moment ...), so i'd provide this little stupid insight into my mixed-up files ...
hey, i don't have to worry about being wet or cold anymore, as i ... well .. am. maybe i'll see if there's a patch of snow near my apartment where i can make a snow angel.
until tomorrow. - the snowbunny.
band pin: my mraz “i love sex” pin has disappeared. i found this amusing considering that i have a live show where he laments the loss of his “i love sex” pin. no, i did not intentially lose it so we could one day cry together over our mutual losses.
bookstore: in this area, crow books. i tend to find that the random books i like/want are available there more frequently than your traditional borders or b&n.
brand of toilet paper: does it really matter as long as it’s on hand?
chewing gum: trident. original flavor.
day-dream topic: great american novel.
e-mail provider: many. although my smc and yahoo accounts have filled with a ridiculous amount of spam, which leaves me with my spam-free hotmail.
fast food joint: hahahaha. i’ll say chipotle, even though it doesn’t really count (but that doesn’t make me miss it any less). up here, probably wendy’s.
friend that you rarely get a chance to talk to: many.
grocery store: whatever is closest at the time? i’m not fussy. but probably hannaford’s. i like places that don’t require random cards for specials.
hair style for the opposite gender: tousled and, it appears lately, rock-star-esque.
hair style for your gender: whatever floats your boat.
half-hour sitcom: have I mentioned my lack of television as of late? i’d say “real world” right now - it’s more like a sitcom than real life, anyway.
hideout: mi casa. or muddy’s. or the newsroom.
highlighter color: as in marker? orange.
highway: life is a highway, i’m gonna drive it all night long ...
joint to crack: knuckles and spine. but I hate doing it.
mathematical symbol: pi
mexican food: chicken or vegetable fajitas. mmm ...
mode of conversation: candid.
negative influence: procrastination and caffeine.
obsession: the arts, music (and musicians), writing, coffee, apples.
person to dance with: who’s around?
place to be when it?s really hot: waterfront or anywhere where I can sip a frozen drink.
radio station: 102.7. i don’t get it up here. *tear*
record shop: pure pop. dccd while i was down south.
salutation: yo, hola, hiya.
screen resolution size: i’m not picky.
side dish: broccoli, sugar peas.
store you go into that knowing you won’t buy anything: lately i haven’t had anywhere where i haven’t bought anything. it’s sad. probably a&f, even though i rarely go in there.
thing to do when it's raining: read, write, if it’s warm i’ll go for a walk.
type of computer mouse: one that works. i’m a fan of the mice with the little scroll ball in the center.
vending machine food: 3 musketeers.
writing utensil: blue ball point pen. preferrably one with a rubber grip so my poor lil hand doesn’t ache.
i am cold. chilled, shivering, it's-frickin-freezing-mr.-bigglesworth cold. as the dreaded white stuff began to fall from the sky this evening, i bundled up as best i could in my work gear and hit the streets (i know how that sounded, looking at it now, but found it too amusing to edit. get your minds out of the gutter - i haven't reached that point yet). i was in search of people moving their cars because of the parking ban. why a ban? because just as the snow went away and i greeted my friendly neighborhood grass, there's another 12 to 24 inches on the way.
i found people, i talked with people, i became covered with snow (my black knit cap was completely white when i shuffled back into the office). good times. san diego, baby. now, please.
anyhoo. yes it's sunday and yes i'm at work. i was called in after my contact-with-the-human-world-starved soul was informed of hussein's capture by my trusty newssource elizabeth (i currently have no cable or whatnot and had planned on buying a remote today so i could hook up the antenna. postponed until tomorrow. that and painting). while learning of both hussein's arrest and jimmy fallon's john mayer spoof during "weekly update" last night (I MUST FIND VIDEO AND SOUND FILES), work called to see if i wanted to come in to help cover the iraq situation. did i? i was in as quickly as i could.
good times. overtimes.
i wrote some little sappy bit last night that i forgot to bring in, i'll have to do so tomorrow. i liked it enough to share.
but for now, i thaw, drying and warming while my fingers return to their normal flesh color (even with really warm gloves, they were lobster red when i came back. i want palm trees). and i leave you with yet another random survey i found. i figure i didn't do the friday five (as it dealt with winter and what i like about winter - and wait, there's not much at the moment ...), so i'd provide this little stupid insight into my mixed-up files ...
hey, i don't have to worry about being wet or cold anymore, as i ... well .. am. maybe i'll see if there's a patch of snow near my apartment where i can make a snow angel.
until tomorrow. - the snowbunny.
band pin: my mraz “i love sex” pin has disappeared. i found this amusing considering that i have a live show where he laments the loss of his “i love sex” pin. no, i did not intentially lose it so we could one day cry together over our mutual losses.
bookstore: in this area, crow books. i tend to find that the random books i like/want are available there more frequently than your traditional borders or b&n.
brand of toilet paper: does it really matter as long as it’s on hand?
chewing gum: trident. original flavor.
day-dream topic: great american novel.
e-mail provider: many. although my smc and yahoo accounts have filled with a ridiculous amount of spam, which leaves me with my spam-free hotmail.
fast food joint: hahahaha. i’ll say chipotle, even though it doesn’t really count (but that doesn’t make me miss it any less). up here, probably wendy’s.
friend that you rarely get a chance to talk to: many.
grocery store: whatever is closest at the time? i’m not fussy. but probably hannaford’s. i like places that don’t require random cards for specials.
hair style for the opposite gender: tousled and, it appears lately, rock-star-esque.
hair style for your gender: whatever floats your boat.
half-hour sitcom: have I mentioned my lack of television as of late? i’d say “real world” right now - it’s more like a sitcom than real life, anyway.
hideout: mi casa. or muddy’s. or the newsroom.
highlighter color: as in marker? orange.
highway: life is a highway, i’m gonna drive it all night long ...
joint to crack: knuckles and spine. but I hate doing it.
mathematical symbol: pi
mexican food: chicken or vegetable fajitas. mmm ...
mode of conversation: candid.
negative influence: procrastination and caffeine.
obsession: the arts, music (and musicians), writing, coffee, apples.
person to dance with: who’s around?
place to be when it?s really hot: waterfront or anywhere where I can sip a frozen drink.
radio station: 102.7. i don’t get it up here. *tear*
record shop: pure pop. dccd while i was down south.
salutation: yo, hola, hiya.
screen resolution size: i’m not picky.
side dish: broccoli, sugar peas.
store you go into that knowing you won’t buy anything: lately i haven’t had anywhere where i haven’t bought anything. it’s sad. probably a&f, even though i rarely go in there.
thing to do when it's raining: read, write, if it’s warm i’ll go for a walk.
type of computer mouse: one that works. i’m a fan of the mice with the little scroll ball in the center.
vending machine food: 3 musketeers.
writing utensil: blue ball point pen. preferrably one with a rubber grip so my poor lil hand doesn’t ache.
12.13.2003
pieces of the puzzle
it's the little things that keep me sane during the stress of figuring out this whole situation (or, i should say, waiting to hear about how things are figured out).
an example. a co-worker stopped by my desk as i was putting the finishing touches on my column and caught up on how everything's been. the important thing to remember, i was told, was that it's not me that's at issue. it's just that things are screwy at the moment.
i chuckled and said that i was trying to keep that in mind, that it's hopefully not a question of my ability--
"no, it's definitely not. it's not you at all. you've definitely proven yourself."
hearing that from someone else (other than the voice in my head telling me to keep things positive) did a world of good. as in words can't even begin to describe.
anyway. off to christmas shop. painting will be happening tomorrow. today is all about the rest of my christmas list, perhaps some apartment beautification and a much needed trip to the gym.
i'm in training, yo.
much love.
it's the little things that keep me sane during the stress of figuring out this whole situation (or, i should say, waiting to hear about how things are figured out).
an example. a co-worker stopped by my desk as i was putting the finishing touches on my column and caught up on how everything's been. the important thing to remember, i was told, was that it's not me that's at issue. it's just that things are screwy at the moment.
i chuckled and said that i was trying to keep that in mind, that it's hopefully not a question of my ability--
"no, it's definitely not. it's not you at all. you've definitely proven yourself."
hearing that from someone else (other than the voice in my head telling me to keep things positive) did a world of good. as in words can't even begin to describe.
anyway. off to christmas shop. painting will be happening tomorrow. today is all about the rest of my christmas list, perhaps some apartment beautification and a much needed trip to the gym.
i'm in training, yo.
much love.
nightmares and deamscapes
like many, i tend to go through cycles when i dream. i'll have a span of time during which i can't remember a thing about my dreams upon waking. then i'll dream so vividly that i can't tell where dream ends and reality begins.
lately i've been experiencing the latter. i had my ridiculously vivid job nightmare tuesday night (see earlier rant). i can recall snippets of my dreams wednesday and thursday night (thursday included the fun "five more minutes - i'm working on a story").
i dreamt of summer last night. it was july and i had traveled to this camp of sorts with friends for a concert. we thought it was being held outside, but it turns out that averi was playing inside this cabin-like theater. so we went in and rocked out with the best of them (good because there were only about 20 attendees present). i knew all of the people there, but most of them didn't recognize me because my hair was so different. so i was able to do what i wanted - talk with those i wanted to talk to and not deal with people i didn't feel like dealing with. it was grand. however, i did hear people discuss me - in particular confirming my suspicions about someone else's opinion of me. surprisingly, i shook it off relatively easily and just enjoyed myself, opinions be damned.
after the show, people went off to the swimming hole to cool off and i wound up wandering about a bit, finally settling at a picnic bench. it was so warm and bright - the sun made my eyes water and i was searching everywhere for a pair of sunglasses - and just a perfect summer day. as i finally gave up on sunglasses and leaned back to soak up the warmth of the sun with my eyes closed, thinking about what i'd heard at the concert. i heard footsteps behind me and ignored them until i sensed someone sit beside me.
long conversation ensues.
it was odd - added to the mix at different points were happy meal toys (the singing heads from "the haunted manion"), singing along to jason mraz tunes at the top of our lungs and a huge, battlefield-sized parking lot.
i know why some of the elements came together. i had listened to averi on my drive back to burlington yesterday and had read chad's rant about winter on the website (which, in many important respects, i have to give a big ol' "hells yeah!"). that coupled with my discussion with beth the evening before about how san diego's looking damn good this time of year (as is st. martin) probably contributed to the summer bit. while at st. michael's last night for the play, people i knew didn't recognize me with my hair. i had just seen the happy meal toy that morning. i had been thinking about woodstock '99 a few days previous, talking to someone about the huge lots of cars parked outside the actual festival.
but others i have no idea. it was just incredibly random ... but i didn't want to wake up when the alarm went off. i returned to the dreamland in five-minute intervals for about the next hour and a half.
hmm.
anyhoo. i'm working on my column - good times. the newsroom is mine, and i'm typing away on this computer, my laptop next to me so i can enjoy some music. i'm trying to feel inspired, so i'm listening to my "one ill theater mix" from almost a year and a half ago ... could it be that long already? can it be that the howie track i just listened to was heard live from the front row at paradise two and a half YEARS ago?
while it was grand to be able to see a show at smc and see familiar faces, it was almost a little sad to sit in mccarthy and see people i didn't know. not necessarily just because it made me feel incredibly old (i know, archaic at 23 - good god), but because even thought i didn't know many of the people, i could fit them into their pegs almost immediately.
during college, we all worked so hard to just be ourselves - whatever selves they may be. we were determined to find out who we were as individuals. yet, as i sat there looking at the audience, i could see the latest lucas - the latest billy - the latest andrew c. it was as if the years had changed and the faces were different, but the roles were still present and ready to be filled - if they weren't filled already.
it was bizarre - i felt as if i was casting the adaptation of my college years.
anyhoo. i must stop procrastinating and return to the wonderful world of theater criticism and column-writing. good times indeed. then it's christmas shopping (or, rather, christmas painting ...).
music: howie day - "sorry so sorry" - paradise 6.18.01
like many, i tend to go through cycles when i dream. i'll have a span of time during which i can't remember a thing about my dreams upon waking. then i'll dream so vividly that i can't tell where dream ends and reality begins.
lately i've been experiencing the latter. i had my ridiculously vivid job nightmare tuesday night (see earlier rant). i can recall snippets of my dreams wednesday and thursday night (thursday included the fun "five more minutes - i'm working on a story").
i dreamt of summer last night. it was july and i had traveled to this camp of sorts with friends for a concert. we thought it was being held outside, but it turns out that averi was playing inside this cabin-like theater. so we went in and rocked out with the best of them (good because there were only about 20 attendees present). i knew all of the people there, but most of them didn't recognize me because my hair was so different. so i was able to do what i wanted - talk with those i wanted to talk to and not deal with people i didn't feel like dealing with. it was grand. however, i did hear people discuss me - in particular confirming my suspicions about someone else's opinion of me. surprisingly, i shook it off relatively easily and just enjoyed myself, opinions be damned.
after the show, people went off to the swimming hole to cool off and i wound up wandering about a bit, finally settling at a picnic bench. it was so warm and bright - the sun made my eyes water and i was searching everywhere for a pair of sunglasses - and just a perfect summer day. as i finally gave up on sunglasses and leaned back to soak up the warmth of the sun with my eyes closed, thinking about what i'd heard at the concert. i heard footsteps behind me and ignored them until i sensed someone sit beside me.
long conversation ensues.
it was odd - added to the mix at different points were happy meal toys (the singing heads from "the haunted manion"), singing along to jason mraz tunes at the top of our lungs and a huge, battlefield-sized parking lot.
i know why some of the elements came together. i had listened to averi on my drive back to burlington yesterday and had read chad's rant about winter on the website (which, in many important respects, i have to give a big ol' "hells yeah!"). that coupled with my discussion with beth the evening before about how san diego's looking damn good this time of year (as is st. martin) probably contributed to the summer bit. while at st. michael's last night for the play, people i knew didn't recognize me with my hair. i had just seen the happy meal toy that morning. i had been thinking about woodstock '99 a few days previous, talking to someone about the huge lots of cars parked outside the actual festival.
but others i have no idea. it was just incredibly random ... but i didn't want to wake up when the alarm went off. i returned to the dreamland in five-minute intervals for about the next hour and a half.
hmm.
anyhoo. i'm working on my column - good times. the newsroom is mine, and i'm typing away on this computer, my laptop next to me so i can enjoy some music. i'm trying to feel inspired, so i'm listening to my "one ill theater mix" from almost a year and a half ago ... could it be that long already? can it be that the howie track i just listened to was heard live from the front row at paradise two and a half YEARS ago?
while it was grand to be able to see a show at smc and see familiar faces, it was almost a little sad to sit in mccarthy and see people i didn't know. not necessarily just because it made me feel incredibly old (i know, archaic at 23 - good god), but because even thought i didn't know many of the people, i could fit them into their pegs almost immediately.
during college, we all worked so hard to just be ourselves - whatever selves they may be. we were determined to find out who we were as individuals. yet, as i sat there looking at the audience, i could see the latest lucas - the latest billy - the latest andrew c. it was as if the years had changed and the faces were different, but the roles were still present and ready to be filled - if they weren't filled already.
it was bizarre - i felt as if i was casting the adaptation of my college years.
anyhoo. i must stop procrastinating and return to the wonderful world of theater criticism and column-writing. good times indeed. then it's christmas shopping (or, rather, christmas painting ...).
music: howie day - "sorry so sorry" - paradise 6.18.01
12.12.2003
karma police ...
hahahaha - sucka!
anyhoo. a bit of dashed off madness before i hop back into the car to head to burlington. good times, good times. show tonight, column to write.
people at work (well, today's work, anyway) were calling me gwenyth. grrr. i gave it a fun spin, deciding that it meant i'm destined to love a rock star. oh, and win an oscar.
i can deal with that.
crazy ... feel like there's never enough time in the day lately. want to hang out ... want to relax ... want to read and write ...
it's been an intense few days, to say the least and i'm trying to keep my mind clear, eyes bright and outlook optimistic.
rockin the positivity ...
xoxoxox - vickie
ps. new mraz journal goodness at the website.
hahahaha - sucka!
anyhoo. a bit of dashed off madness before i hop back into the car to head to burlington. good times, good times. show tonight, column to write.
people at work (well, today's work, anyway) were calling me gwenyth. grrr. i gave it a fun spin, deciding that it meant i'm destined to love a rock star. oh, and win an oscar.
i can deal with that.
crazy ... feel like there's never enough time in the day lately. want to hang out ... want to relax ... want to read and write ...
it's been an intense few days, to say the least and i'm trying to keep my mind clear, eyes bright and outlook optimistic.
rockin the positivity ...
xoxoxox - vickie
ps. new mraz journal goodness at the website.
12.11.2003
add these to my simple holiday wishlist.
- someone to greet me when i come home at the end of a day.
- new music.
- a warm(er) day, one that does not come accompanied by rain.
- calluses on my left fingers from playing guitar.
- time enough in the day to start my novel.
- a really good concert. preferrably mraz, howie and/or averi.
- hugs. lots of them.- chipotle
- a walk around boston, ideally during a somewhat warm winter day when snow is lightly falling. even more ideally with a final destination at paradise for a concert.
- a day or two to spend with my brother, catching up, having fun and enjoying some grasshopper.
- oh yeah. and a permanent job.
- someone to greet me when i come home at the end of a day.
- new music.
- a warm(er) day, one that does not come accompanied by rain.
- calluses on my left fingers from playing guitar.
- time enough in the day to start my novel.
- a really good concert. preferrably mraz, howie and/or averi.
- hugs. lots of them.- chipotle
- a walk around boston, ideally during a somewhat warm winter day when snow is lightly falling. even more ideally with a final destination at paradise for a concert.
- a day or two to spend with my brother, catching up, having fun and enjoying some grasshopper.
- oh yeah. and a permanent job.
"the toughest kind of story you can write"
it was a bad weekend for early twenty-somethings in burlington. first, a student from champlain apparently became disoriented when leaving a party saturday night. his body was found, partially frozen, sunday in a snowdrift (if you go to the story, check out the very end - shameless plug).
and then, early monday morning, a recent smc grad fell down a set of stairs and died of a brain stem injury. which resulted in my first ever "death story," with all the fun (sarcasm: yes) trimmings.
i was not yet a regular defender staff writer when the girls died, nor would i have been in a position or emotional state to cover it anyway. when lexi died, i was most definitely not capable of covering it, even if i was a staff editor by that point. i offered photos and whatnot, but i didn't go near the writing aspect.
so this was my first time trying to investigate a death and (and this was the hard part) talk to loved ones about her life. yikes. i went to the apartment, i went to where she worked and i called her family and close friends. you want to talk about difficult phone calls - there you go.
but i'm pleased with how the story came out. people were kind enough to share their insights with me, even in an incredibly difficult time. that meant i was able to report on not only her death, but her life.
and i'm actually quite flattered today, as i received a phone call from an old acquaintance who, it turns out, is connected to the family. i was told that upon hearing that i was writing the article, the acquaintance knew it would be handled in a tasteful, caring manner.
thank you for that.
but it made for quite the bleak day, as i had an exceptionally disheartening day myself yesterday. it's sad when you focus on blocking out what's going on with you by turning to your work - which is covering a young woman's death.
needless to say, by the time i left the office, i was more than ready to burn off frustration at the gym.
what can i say? it's been a glum few days.
but i'm tough. i'll get through and i'll show everyone a thing or two. take that, bee-atches.
but even tough gals need a comforting voice and some laughter when things are dreary. for that, i thank you, you cwazy wabbit. you rock the casbah.
in other news. i meant to post about this days ago, but things got hectic. does anyone else find it somewhat disturbing that the theme song for gore's dean endorsement was "we can"? as in, the theme song from "legally blonde 2"? i'm not sure if this has been howie d.'s theme throughout his campaign (as i generally follow the campaign through print media instead of television - that is, when i'm not inadvertantly making people contribute to his fundraising campaign - bwahahaha), but i was laughing hysterically watching the news of the endoresement on tuesday. i kept waiting to see reese witherspoon teeter through the camera angle in pink heels ...
in other political news (see? and y'all thought my year on the hill would go to waste), the new york times analysis of dean's "one-way ticket" statement is hysterical. i meant to post this as well. go here and be amused.
ok, back to work. people holding the daily meeting are threatening to haze me, so i must watch out ...
wait - you can't really haze someone unless you want to initiate them. so, right now, it appears that hazing won't be happening ...
it was a bad weekend for early twenty-somethings in burlington. first, a student from champlain apparently became disoriented when leaving a party saturday night. his body was found, partially frozen, sunday in a snowdrift (if you go to the story, check out the very end - shameless plug).
and then, early monday morning, a recent smc grad fell down a set of stairs and died of a brain stem injury. which resulted in my first ever "death story," with all the fun (sarcasm: yes) trimmings.
i was not yet a regular defender staff writer when the girls died, nor would i have been in a position or emotional state to cover it anyway. when lexi died, i was most definitely not capable of covering it, even if i was a staff editor by that point. i offered photos and whatnot, but i didn't go near the writing aspect.
so this was my first time trying to investigate a death and (and this was the hard part) talk to loved ones about her life. yikes. i went to the apartment, i went to where she worked and i called her family and close friends. you want to talk about difficult phone calls - there you go.
but i'm pleased with how the story came out. people were kind enough to share their insights with me, even in an incredibly difficult time. that meant i was able to report on not only her death, but her life.
and i'm actually quite flattered today, as i received a phone call from an old acquaintance who, it turns out, is connected to the family. i was told that upon hearing that i was writing the article, the acquaintance knew it would be handled in a tasteful, caring manner.
thank you for that.
but it made for quite the bleak day, as i had an exceptionally disheartening day myself yesterday. it's sad when you focus on blocking out what's going on with you by turning to your work - which is covering a young woman's death.
needless to say, by the time i left the office, i was more than ready to burn off frustration at the gym.
what can i say? it's been a glum few days.
but i'm tough. i'll get through and i'll show everyone a thing or two. take that, bee-atches.
but even tough gals need a comforting voice and some laughter when things are dreary. for that, i thank you, you cwazy wabbit. you rock the casbah.
in other news. i meant to post about this days ago, but things got hectic. does anyone else find it somewhat disturbing that the theme song for gore's dean endorsement was "we can"? as in, the theme song from "legally blonde 2"? i'm not sure if this has been howie d.'s theme throughout his campaign (as i generally follow the campaign through print media instead of television - that is, when i'm not inadvertantly making people contribute to his fundraising campaign - bwahahaha), but i was laughing hysterically watching the news of the endoresement on tuesday. i kept waiting to see reese witherspoon teeter through the camera angle in pink heels ...
in other political news (see? and y'all thought my year on the hill would go to waste), the new york times analysis of dean's "one-way ticket" statement is hysterical. i meant to post this as well. go here and be amused.
ok, back to work. people holding the daily meeting are threatening to haze me, so i must watch out ...
wait - you can't really haze someone unless you want to initiate them. so, right now, it appears that hazing won't be happening ...
12.10.2003
to whom it may concern -
simple resolution to unnecessary stress. include me in what's going on. if you don't want me to do this the way i do it best, tell me. if you don't think i'm right for the position all the time, quit making me feel as if i have to work my ass off constantly to come up with something to show you i am right for it. you're not telling me anything right now about where my position will be - if it'll be here at all. you're making me nervous, you're keeping me on edge and all i want is to be able to settle into a seat somewhere, knowing what i'll be doing and what you feel i do best. i know what i think i do best and i've made that quite clear. right now i'm just nervous all the time because i worry that i won't get the spot i want - and i worry that i won't get a spot at all. without a sense of comfort, i can't do as well as i could. i'm trying. i'm doing what i've been trained to do and you all come up with these little observations or suggestions that actually go against what i've been taught. but that's for me to do deal with because i'm just a writer. adapt for your audience. i know this. all i want is to have an audience for which i can write. i don't care anymore what forum that writing is. i just want to keep doing it. do you know that i dreamt last night that i didn't get a spot at all? it was the worst nightmare i've had in ages. i woke up in bed and had to think for a good solid two minutes about whether or not it had really happened.
i know you're not going to be enthusiastic and beaming all the time. you never really have because that's who you are. and i like that at times. no false pretense and melodramatic bullshit.
but you can tell me when i do well, you know. no word is good word as far as praise goes - that's pretty basic. but i'm new at this - in this forum, anyway. and i'm getting stressed and frustrated on a daily basis because i want to create from a blank screen the best work ever. and it takes a lot for me to realize i can't do that on a daily basis - sometimes you just have to grind the work out and let it go.
but you're making me feel as if everything i'm presenting is ground work. and i let the event/story speak for itself, thank you. it's called objectivity. i'm the youngest person in here working on a daily basis and i'm working my arse off to show that i belong with the older gang.
you can at least let me know when i'm on the right track. if not, just tell me i'm way off course and i'll figure out what to do then.
----
sorry. pent-up frustration i didn't even know was there until i needed to temporarily snap. now, just a few minutes later, i don't even know what i wrote - i just let the fingers do the work and allowed the random incoherent jibberish flow from my head onto the page (well, screen). this is called "venting," boys and girls.
while i'm incredibly happy to have this opportunity, this "well, we'll let you know what we decide" mentality is starting to wear thin on my already sensitive spirit. i was supposed to know by last week by the latest. it's now wednesday of next week - still no word.
and i'm juggling a bunch of different things all at once. i'm not set in any one area - i know i'm technically a long-term temp, but come on! it's as if i'm struggling to prove myself in one area, but i have these obligations in the other and i'm trying to prove myself there as well.
don't get me wrong - i know i'm damn lucky to be able to complain about such a predicament, but i've been working so hard to keep the smile on my face and drive going when i just want to be able to take a couple days and do nothing. go on a trip - visit some friends. sleep all day or curl up with a movie.
but i'm working here monday - thursday. friday i'm in fair haven during the day, generally i cover an event that night and try to write as much as i can for saturday, which i spend finishing the writing. sunday i have off, but i'm generally trying to do things for the apartment and i'm so aware that it's my Day Off that i want to do something productive with it.
AURGH.
before work this morning, i signed up for membership at a gym. sorry, beth - i have registered your opinion (heehee), but it's much-needed today - i'll be able to get out some aggression when i go there after work. i wonder if there's a punching bag ... that would be nice today.
bah. leave love - i'm in need.
simple resolution to unnecessary stress. include me in what's going on. if you don't want me to do this the way i do it best, tell me. if you don't think i'm right for the position all the time, quit making me feel as if i have to work my ass off constantly to come up with something to show you i am right for it. you're not telling me anything right now about where my position will be - if it'll be here at all. you're making me nervous, you're keeping me on edge and all i want is to be able to settle into a seat somewhere, knowing what i'll be doing and what you feel i do best. i know what i think i do best and i've made that quite clear. right now i'm just nervous all the time because i worry that i won't get the spot i want - and i worry that i won't get a spot at all. without a sense of comfort, i can't do as well as i could. i'm trying. i'm doing what i've been trained to do and you all come up with these little observations or suggestions that actually go against what i've been taught. but that's for me to do deal with because i'm just a writer. adapt for your audience. i know this. all i want is to have an audience for which i can write. i don't care anymore what forum that writing is. i just want to keep doing it. do you know that i dreamt last night that i didn't get a spot at all? it was the worst nightmare i've had in ages. i woke up in bed and had to think for a good solid two minutes about whether or not it had really happened.
i know you're not going to be enthusiastic and beaming all the time. you never really have because that's who you are. and i like that at times. no false pretense and melodramatic bullshit.
but you can tell me when i do well, you know. no word is good word as far as praise goes - that's pretty basic. but i'm new at this - in this forum, anyway. and i'm getting stressed and frustrated on a daily basis because i want to create from a blank screen the best work ever. and it takes a lot for me to realize i can't do that on a daily basis - sometimes you just have to grind the work out and let it go.
but you're making me feel as if everything i'm presenting is ground work. and i let the event/story speak for itself, thank you. it's called objectivity. i'm the youngest person in here working on a daily basis and i'm working my arse off to show that i belong with the older gang.
you can at least let me know when i'm on the right track. if not, just tell me i'm way off course and i'll figure out what to do then.
----
sorry. pent-up frustration i didn't even know was there until i needed to temporarily snap. now, just a few minutes later, i don't even know what i wrote - i just let the fingers do the work and allowed the random incoherent jibberish flow from my head onto the page (well, screen). this is called "venting," boys and girls.
while i'm incredibly happy to have this opportunity, this "well, we'll let you know what we decide" mentality is starting to wear thin on my already sensitive spirit. i was supposed to know by last week by the latest. it's now wednesday of next week - still no word.
and i'm juggling a bunch of different things all at once. i'm not set in any one area - i know i'm technically a long-term temp, but come on! it's as if i'm struggling to prove myself in one area, but i have these obligations in the other and i'm trying to prove myself there as well.
don't get me wrong - i know i'm damn lucky to be able to complain about such a predicament, but i've been working so hard to keep the smile on my face and drive going when i just want to be able to take a couple days and do nothing. go on a trip - visit some friends. sleep all day or curl up with a movie.
but i'm working here monday - thursday. friday i'm in fair haven during the day, generally i cover an event that night and try to write as much as i can for saturday, which i spend finishing the writing. sunday i have off, but i'm generally trying to do things for the apartment and i'm so aware that it's my Day Off that i want to do something productive with it.
AURGH.
before work this morning, i signed up for membership at a gym. sorry, beth - i have registered your opinion (heehee), but it's much-needed today - i'll be able to get out some aggression when i go there after work. i wonder if there's a punching bag ... that would be nice today.
bah. leave love - i'm in need.
12.09.2003
a tragic tale of woe
as opposed to a tragic tale of laughter, obviously. although, now that i think about it, i really did a remarkable amount of laughing at my own expense yesterday.
but i digress.
yesterday i spent not one, not two, not three, not even four hours fixing the mess i had made of my hair.
four and a half bloody hours at a salon getting the maroon corrected into something somewhat natural-looking.
i cried three times, although making sure the salon stylist wasn't around while doing so.
i have a seemingly permanent kink in my neck from resting with my head in a sink. while i think having your hair shampooed at a salon is one of the greatest feelings in the world, even that got old real quick. anyone want to give me a neckrub?
but the important information. that which you are dying (get it? dye-ing? HA! i kill me!) to know. what is it like now?
well, after four and a half hours, four or five different colors and the loss of three inches, my hair looks quite nice, i'm happy to say. not ideal, by any means, but not maroon and i've been paid quite a few compliments today (granted, they all also saw the hair yesterday, so anything would be an improvement).
i'm never - and i mean it this time - going to use at-home hair color EVER AGAIN.
but, during one instance last night in which i told my tragic tale (over speakerphone to my aunt, uncle and parents in the rainy, yet much warmer, land of utah), i found that i was not the only stupid person with welch blood in her veins yesterday.
i think my aunt topped me (and i have permission to tell this tale for my online readers - that's how foolish she is. i love it.). at least i didn't cause myself to bleed.
my aunt did. how, you ask? by poking a hole in her hand (albeit a small hole) with the corner of an ice cube. why, you ask? because there were several cubes stuck together and she decided to "judo chop" them apart. unfortunately, the ice cube mass won.
she got back at them, though. she took the insulting ice cubes, placed them in the sink and ran warm water over them, laughing as they slowly melted away.
a cruel and unusual punishment in the ice cube world. she's a savage, i tell you.
there's nothing quite like having an absolutely kickass interview and knowing that you showed that you're a good reporter. especially when other people are around and you show them that you have better questions than they do.
nah nah nah-nah nah ...
as opposed to a tragic tale of laughter, obviously. although, now that i think about it, i really did a remarkable amount of laughing at my own expense yesterday.
but i digress.
yesterday i spent not one, not two, not three, not even four hours fixing the mess i had made of my hair.
four and a half bloody hours at a salon getting the maroon corrected into something somewhat natural-looking.
i cried three times, although making sure the salon stylist wasn't around while doing so.
i have a seemingly permanent kink in my neck from resting with my head in a sink. while i think having your hair shampooed at a salon is one of the greatest feelings in the world, even that got old real quick. anyone want to give me a neckrub?
but the important information. that which you are dying (get it? dye-ing? HA! i kill me!) to know. what is it like now?
well, after four and a half hours, four or five different colors and the loss of three inches, my hair looks quite nice, i'm happy to say. not ideal, by any means, but not maroon and i've been paid quite a few compliments today (granted, they all also saw the hair yesterday, so anything would be an improvement).
i'm never - and i mean it this time - going to use at-home hair color EVER AGAIN.
but, during one instance last night in which i told my tragic tale (over speakerphone to my aunt, uncle and parents in the rainy, yet much warmer, land of utah), i found that i was not the only stupid person with welch blood in her veins yesterday.
i think my aunt topped me (and i have permission to tell this tale for my online readers - that's how foolish she is. i love it.). at least i didn't cause myself to bleed.
my aunt did. how, you ask? by poking a hole in her hand (albeit a small hole) with the corner of an ice cube. why, you ask? because there were several cubes stuck together and she decided to "judo chop" them apart. unfortunately, the ice cube mass won.
she got back at them, though. she took the insulting ice cubes, placed them in the sink and ran warm water over them, laughing as they slowly melted away.
a cruel and unusual punishment in the ice cube world. she's a savage, i tell you.
there's nothing quite like having an absolutely kickass interview and knowing that you showed that you're a good reporter. especially when other people are around and you show them that you have better questions than they do.
nah nah nah-nah nah ...
12.08.2003
winter wonderland of death
since there was no friday five this weekend, i wasn't going to do any form of question & answer. however, i figured i'd better keep the tradition up so i don't forget. so i found an old one i never answered ...
1. if you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
i think my personal hell would be an eternity of one cd. not necessarily because i'd have to listen to that one selection, but because i'd be forced to give up the others (think the record-burning scene in "the virgin suicides"). i think ... hmm ... it would probably wind up being a cd i have horribly neglected in the past months. "grace" by jeff buckley. a close runner up being mraz's live at java joe's and the beatles "sgt. pepper."
2. if you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
i couldn't possibly choose ... but i guess i would say "footlight parade" (for a bit of the old and some good ol' song and dance) and "the dead poets' society" (the greatest classic of our time).
3. if you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
i'll go with the three i have had the strongest reaction to upon my initial reading. "circle of friends," "jude the obscure," and "jane eyre."
4. if you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
in no particular order:
- water
- sangria
- chipotle
- apples
5. if you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
i'm starting to feel that this wasn't the best one to select (i didn't see this question ...) ok, here goes. hate me if you wish. again, in no particular order ...
- beth.
- paul.
- becca.
- mom/dad (i count them as one because when i talk with one on the phone, our conversation always winds up including the third person anyway).
- my brother.
that said. ok. i titled this post with a comment made by a radio dj saturday afternoon - made me laugh and seemed incredibly appropriate. my fair burlington is currently hiding beneath at least a foot of snow - probably closer to 18 inches.
whenever summer rolls around and i'm talking with people about living in vermont, i wind up mentioning that i could never live in a place without seasonal change. i need the winter to curl up and be cozy, as well as so i can appreciate the spring and summer when it returns with green leaves and multi-colored colorbursts of flowers.
whenever the first snowfall arrives, i wonder what i was on to make such a statement. i can say with confidence that right now i would welcome a land of perpetually balmy breezes. wildfires, wildschmires, give me the warmth of a pacific sun. san diego sounds increasingly lovely right now ...
i say this half in jest ... all things considered, it's really not all that bad. it's certainly lovely and i felt incredibly quaint walking down church street yesterday evening, passing by children proudly perched at the top of massive snowbanks, their parents feet below, snapping photographs. feeling cozy in my new winter hat, gloves, and multicolored scarf, i walked up the street, on a mission for a new pair of winter boots (i haven't had officially dubbed winter boots in years, might i add. but the snow didn't seem to like my sambas. or perhaps it was the other way around. whatever the case may be, my feet had been soaked and cold for much of the weekend and i was determined to remedy such a situation). taking a short break to stock up on wall art for the apartment (three standard-paper-sized vintage french poster cards - one said "revel." revelrevel ...), i found a pair of cozy, fake-fur-lined boots that, as i wear them now, i can say with glee that they are 1) warm and comfortable and 2) decidedly non-bootish by appearance. go me.
now i can look at this and think that it wasn't that bad. i am, afterall, warm and comfortable, sporting some stylin' new winter gear (chloe, i thought of you and last year's scarf discussion during my odessey-like search for just the right scarf and hat), my car unearthed by my trusty shovel and now waiting for me in my work parking space.
however, as i sat in my living room gazing out at the damned white stuff continuing to fall from the sky a couple of hours earlier, i had a somewhat different opinion. particularly as i realized i had 1) no gloves 2) no boots and 3) a car buried beneath probably 14 inches of snow, a small greenish white lump in the small parking lot at the house.
i cursed mother nature numerous times as i tried digging out the car, my shovel threatening to slip in my grip, socks around my hands to protect me at least a little from the cold. back starting to tense, i wished i was anywhere but where i was (palm trees popped into my mind, as did the thought of my parents in utah, where it was currently a balmy, rainy 45 degrees. bastards.).
nevertheless. i made it out and did all i needed to do. with a mug of hot tea (cinnamon apple spice) and a dvd (legally blonde 2 - i felt a need to see elle's take on washington to see how one blonde's opinion varied from another's) and the first hop sing dinner of my second burlington-area residency (some things never change - thank god), i realized i had made the first storm of the winter of 2003 (well, i suppose it's technically the second winter of 2003, isn't it? you know what i mean) exactly what it always should be - my bitch.
i should add, however, that it did get back at me, although via exceptionally sneaky means. i got bored and decided to play with my hair.
i know. bad idea. but i never learn. for some reason i remain forever convinced that good can come out of playing with my hair. what can i say? whatever i can do to prevent my cutting it.
it was supposed to be light auburn. i had contemplated giving carribean carmel another try, but thought back to my return visit to dc and the expresso-colored hair i was sporting then and thought wiser.
instead, i'm now sporting a head of maroon hair. i could say something pretty like burgandy or whatnot, but not really. it's really maroon.
now i am thankful for my high school expereinces, but i'm not so crazy about proctor high to sport one of its school colors. so as i sit here at work, i'm sporting a lovely hat (i jokingly told people i'm following young, hip style trends - then i told them i had intentionally gone punk with my hair), waiting for 4 p.m. so i can go have the situation corrected by the professionals. i'm going to have lovely hair one way or the other, dammit.
so, in summary, a few lessons learned from the weekend:
- snow = lovely when it's minimal. crap when it accumulates over six inches.
- california = my heart's desire at the moment. i want sunshine and a palm tree.
- hair = funny.
- victoria = conqueror of evil winter demons.
since there was no friday five this weekend, i wasn't going to do any form of question & answer. however, i figured i'd better keep the tradition up so i don't forget. so i found an old one i never answered ...
1. if you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?
i think my personal hell would be an eternity of one cd. not necessarily because i'd have to listen to that one selection, but because i'd be forced to give up the others (think the record-burning scene in "the virgin suicides"). i think ... hmm ... it would probably wind up being a cd i have horribly neglected in the past months. "grace" by jeff buckley. a close runner up being mraz's live at java joe's and the beatles "sgt. pepper."
2. if you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?
i couldn't possibly choose ... but i guess i would say "footlight parade" (for a bit of the old and some good ol' song and dance) and "the dead poets' society" (the greatest classic of our time).
3. if you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?
i'll go with the three i have had the strongest reaction to upon my initial reading. "circle of friends," "jude the obscure," and "jane eyre."
4. if you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?
in no particular order:
- water
- sangria
- chipotle
- apples
5. if you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?
i'm starting to feel that this wasn't the best one to select (i didn't see this question ...) ok, here goes. hate me if you wish. again, in no particular order ...
- beth.
- paul.
- becca.
- mom/dad (i count them as one because when i talk with one on the phone, our conversation always winds up including the third person anyway).
- my brother.
that said. ok. i titled this post with a comment made by a radio dj saturday afternoon - made me laugh and seemed incredibly appropriate. my fair burlington is currently hiding beneath at least a foot of snow - probably closer to 18 inches.
whenever summer rolls around and i'm talking with people about living in vermont, i wind up mentioning that i could never live in a place without seasonal change. i need the winter to curl up and be cozy, as well as so i can appreciate the spring and summer when it returns with green leaves and multi-colored colorbursts of flowers.
whenever the first snowfall arrives, i wonder what i was on to make such a statement. i can say with confidence that right now i would welcome a land of perpetually balmy breezes. wildfires, wildschmires, give me the warmth of a pacific sun. san diego sounds increasingly lovely right now ...
i say this half in jest ... all things considered, it's really not all that bad. it's certainly lovely and i felt incredibly quaint walking down church street yesterday evening, passing by children proudly perched at the top of massive snowbanks, their parents feet below, snapping photographs. feeling cozy in my new winter hat, gloves, and multicolored scarf, i walked up the street, on a mission for a new pair of winter boots (i haven't had officially dubbed winter boots in years, might i add. but the snow didn't seem to like my sambas. or perhaps it was the other way around. whatever the case may be, my feet had been soaked and cold for much of the weekend and i was determined to remedy such a situation). taking a short break to stock up on wall art for the apartment (three standard-paper-sized vintage french poster cards - one said "revel." revelrevel ...), i found a pair of cozy, fake-fur-lined boots that, as i wear them now, i can say with glee that they are 1) warm and comfortable and 2) decidedly non-bootish by appearance. go me.
now i can look at this and think that it wasn't that bad. i am, afterall, warm and comfortable, sporting some stylin' new winter gear (chloe, i thought of you and last year's scarf discussion during my odessey-like search for just the right scarf and hat), my car unearthed by my trusty shovel and now waiting for me in my work parking space.
however, as i sat in my living room gazing out at the damned white stuff continuing to fall from the sky a couple of hours earlier, i had a somewhat different opinion. particularly as i realized i had 1) no gloves 2) no boots and 3) a car buried beneath probably 14 inches of snow, a small greenish white lump in the small parking lot at the house.
i cursed mother nature numerous times as i tried digging out the car, my shovel threatening to slip in my grip, socks around my hands to protect me at least a little from the cold. back starting to tense, i wished i was anywhere but where i was (palm trees popped into my mind, as did the thought of my parents in utah, where it was currently a balmy, rainy 45 degrees. bastards.).
nevertheless. i made it out and did all i needed to do. with a mug of hot tea (cinnamon apple spice) and a dvd (legally blonde 2 - i felt a need to see elle's take on washington to see how one blonde's opinion varied from another's) and the first hop sing dinner of my second burlington-area residency (some things never change - thank god), i realized i had made the first storm of the winter of 2003 (well, i suppose it's technically the second winter of 2003, isn't it? you know what i mean) exactly what it always should be - my bitch.
i should add, however, that it did get back at me, although via exceptionally sneaky means. i got bored and decided to play with my hair.
i know. bad idea. but i never learn. for some reason i remain forever convinced that good can come out of playing with my hair. what can i say? whatever i can do to prevent my cutting it.
it was supposed to be light auburn. i had contemplated giving carribean carmel another try, but thought back to my return visit to dc and the expresso-colored hair i was sporting then and thought wiser.
instead, i'm now sporting a head of maroon hair. i could say something pretty like burgandy or whatnot, but not really. it's really maroon.
now i am thankful for my high school expereinces, but i'm not so crazy about proctor high to sport one of its school colors. so as i sit here at work, i'm sporting a lovely hat (i jokingly told people i'm following young, hip style trends - then i told them i had intentionally gone punk with my hair), waiting for 4 p.m. so i can go have the situation corrected by the professionals. i'm going to have lovely hair one way or the other, dammit.
so, in summary, a few lessons learned from the weekend:
- snow = lovely when it's minimal. crap when it accumulates over six inches.
- california = my heart's desire at the moment. i want sunshine and a palm tree.
- hair = funny.
- victoria = conqueror of evil winter demons.
12.05.2003
i'm going to burn in hell
OR ...
i want to drink with the hobbits!
i know i'm being selfish for saying this, but i was actually relieved to hear that mraz did not receive a grammy nomination. granted, much of my rationale is based on the fact that i still cling to the hope of seeing him perform in an intimate setting sometime soon - without the teenage, squealing girls rushing the stage.
but i have a reasonable justification for it as well. i just don't think "wfmrtc" is grammy-calibar material. it's good. hell, i've been listening to it constantly for over a year now - obviously i love it. but do i think it's his best showcase? definitely not. do i think it would be best for him, career-wise, to win a grammy for the effort? nope. do i think mayer deserved a grammy for his effort? absolutely not. look what happened to him ... i don't want mraz going down the same path.
so i may be burning in hell for saying it, but i'm glad. wait an album or two, really show your worth and then, by all means, walk out of the awards ceremony with a truckload of grammy awards.
in other news ... i'm also a huge movie dork at the moment, as i'm realizing how close i am to finally seeing "return of the king." while i can't wait to see it, i can't believe a year has already gone by ... good lord. while at beth's this evening, i watched a primetime special on the movie ... beth's right - when i can identify peter jackson's favorite childhood movie before he does, i need to cut down on the research.
but there was a sequence in which the reporter hung out with the hobbits for some drink and merriment ... i want to drink with the hobbits! is that really so much to ask?
i was talking about the apartment tonight and made reference to it as "home." this brought me joy. i love the place ... while i'm in proctor tonight, i spent the past two nights in my quirky apartment and it was grand. i'm slowly moving up everything and the place is starting to sound less echoey and feel more like a home. waking up this morning, i looked out from my bed to one of my bedroom windows, where i saw big fluffy flakes of snow falling. to be able to curl up under the warm covers and sleep for another half hour without the dread of a 90-minute (in good weather, more like 2 hours in bad) commute made me drift back to snoozing with a smile on my face.
OR ...
i want to drink with the hobbits!
i know i'm being selfish for saying this, but i was actually relieved to hear that mraz did not receive a grammy nomination. granted, much of my rationale is based on the fact that i still cling to the hope of seeing him perform in an intimate setting sometime soon - without the teenage, squealing girls rushing the stage.
but i have a reasonable justification for it as well. i just don't think "wfmrtc" is grammy-calibar material. it's good. hell, i've been listening to it constantly for over a year now - obviously i love it. but do i think it's his best showcase? definitely not. do i think it would be best for him, career-wise, to win a grammy for the effort? nope. do i think mayer deserved a grammy for his effort? absolutely not. look what happened to him ... i don't want mraz going down the same path.
so i may be burning in hell for saying it, but i'm glad. wait an album or two, really show your worth and then, by all means, walk out of the awards ceremony with a truckload of grammy awards.
in other news ... i'm also a huge movie dork at the moment, as i'm realizing how close i am to finally seeing "return of the king." while i can't wait to see it, i can't believe a year has already gone by ... good lord. while at beth's this evening, i watched a primetime special on the movie ... beth's right - when i can identify peter jackson's favorite childhood movie before he does, i need to cut down on the research.
but there was a sequence in which the reporter hung out with the hobbits for some drink and merriment ... i want to drink with the hobbits! is that really so much to ask?
i was talking about the apartment tonight and made reference to it as "home." this brought me joy. i love the place ... while i'm in proctor tonight, i spent the past two nights in my quirky apartment and it was grand. i'm slowly moving up everything and the place is starting to sound less echoey and feel more like a home. waking up this morning, i looked out from my bed to one of my bedroom windows, where i saw big fluffy flakes of snow falling. to be able to curl up under the warm covers and sleep for another half hour without the dread of a 90-minute (in good weather, more like 2 hours in bad) commute made me drift back to snoozing with a smile on my face.
12.02.2003
this blog is possessed.
i don't know if it's still showing up, but a post i had lost ages ago has been popping up here ... my first attempt at describing miranda's birthday party. i don't know where it went or why it's back, but it can go away again please ...
with it, i found a survey i started answering by never finished. it was showing up here, with a few of my answers and the rest from the website on which i found it ... here's my completed version. enjoy.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: i won't say i blacked out, but i'll certainly admit that things have been dim on a few occasions.
* Missed school because it was raining: rain, no. snow? i was lazy and bed was warm. but voluntarily missing class doesn't really count as "missing," does it? i believe "skipped" is the proper term.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: remember my policy of crossing out stupid questions? it goes back into effect as of ... now.
* Been hurt emotionally: of course.
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes. despite looking the part of an 18-year-old, i'm actually 47. sorry.
* Had an imaginary friend: not an imaginary friend, but when i was little, i used to direct plays or films with imaginary characters. i could be wherever and create some form of performance in my mind. sometimes i'd even be one of the imaginary actresses. i haven't thought about that in years.
* Cried during a Movie: dammit, it was so sad, the way poseidon was saying goodbye to ariel, allowing her to follow her heart to prince eric. i'd probably still cry today.
* Had a crush on a teacher: i think i followed mr. bliss around whenever i could when i was in third grade because i thought he was wonderful, but as far as honest-to-goodness crushes go - i can't recall any right now. well, except for professor case, obviously (good god, i can barely type that without shuddering).
* Ever thought an animated character was hot?:
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: merry merry christmas and the no more games remix album. the others were all on cd. step one-one-one ...
* Been on stage: indeed.
* Cut your hair: grrr.
----------------FavORITES------------------
* Shampoo: herbal essences.
* Color: blues, purples greens, black. dashes of orange and yellow also bring me joy.
* Day/Night: either the middle of the night or just after sunset.
* Summer/Winter: summer
* Lace or satin: satin, i suppose.
* Fave cartoon Characters: mojo jojo. bubbles. piglet. shoe. quite a few, actually.
* Fave Food: mexican, chinese, etc.
* Fave Ad:
* Fave Movie: ne'er could choose just one.
* Fave Ice Cream: vanilla, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, coffee
* Fave Subject: favorite subjects in school were journalism, english and theater.
* Fave 'normal' Drink: coffee - iced in hot times, hot in cold times. french vanilla please. also a fan of hot cider. with a cinammon stick.
* Fave online person: my online sugar daddy (this question would have been crossed out, but i wanted to pretend, albeit briefly, that a sugar daddy existed).
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: nice warm red sweater, black pants, amazon woman books - er, meant boots.
* Hair is: pulled back, but strands are still tickling my face. WILL NOT CUT.
* I'm feeling: warm. much preferred to freezing in the middle of nowhere about two hours ago.
* Eating : nada.
* Drinking: for some reason, i was craving ginger ale earlier. i think this is a first for me. but regardless, now i'm enjoying canada dry (which is really false advertising, as i read here that it is bottled in plano, texas).
* Thinkin about: a story i'm workin on (would it have been too much for the writer of this survey to add a "g" to "thinkin"?)
* Listening to: newsroom chatter.
* Talkin to: will be "talkin" to one of my editors shortly.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: i don't believe so. *thinking* hope.
* Wore a skirt: big negative.
* Met someone New: a few new people. comes with the territory - you know, interviewing people and all.
* Cleaned your room: which one? my new room is too empty to clean (new room!!! hurrah!)
* Done laundry: late last night.
* Drove a car: indeed. frequently.
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Yourself: let's just say more than before.
* Your friends: most of the time.
* Santa Claus: my youth was shatted at age 10 when i read the truth in BOP magazine.
* Tooth Fairy: sure. i just need another set of teeth to lose so i can bring in the dough.
* Destiny/Fate: i didn't for awhile, but now i do to some extent. i believe it plays a part, but you have to make it happen.
* Angels: i'd like to.
* Ghosts: i'd like to.
* UFOs: that would be fun.
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
* Like anyone?: don't i always?
* Who's the loudest: hmm ... i know a lot of loud people now. you have to be to work here, to an extent.
* Who's the shyest: still me.
* Who's the weirdest: probably still me. ;-)
* Who do you go to for advice: beth, rentals, paul.
* Who do you cry to: see above.
* When you cried the most: late spring 2003.
* Whats the best feeling in the world: being competely tucked away in a pair of arms during a great, sqeeze-me-tight hug.
* Worst feeling: unwanted solitude.
* First grade teacher's name: i had two. ms. someone-i-can't-remember and mrs. stoddard.
* last word(s) you said: "in that case, why did the moron mention fucking wetlands?"
* last song you sang: howie day "end of our days"
* last person you hugged: my father.
* last time you said 'I love you' verbally and meant it: this morning, to my father. if we're talking love love, i don't remember.
* last time on the net: uh ... now ...
* last time you cried: a few days ago.
* what's in your cd player: howie day "stop all the world now."
* what color socks are you wearing: white. which is why i'm wearing these stupid boots.
* what's under your bed: under proctor bed - shoes, bags, a couple boxes. under burlington bed - nada.
* what time did you wake up today: 6:15. then slept until 7. bwahahaha.
----------- ++Future++ --------------
* where do you want to go: all over the world. united kingdom, ireland, australia and california in particular.
* what is your career going to be: journalism/novelist/critic
* where are you going to live: who knows? i plan stints in burlington and boston ... other than that, i'll go where life takes me.
* how many kids do you want: do you think i'd subject a young, impressionable mind to me? i can't imagine that right now.
* what kind of car will you have: one that doesn't die twice in one night.
------------ ++Randomness++ -------------
* current taste: ginger ale.
* current smell: cocoa butter lotion.
* current desktop picture: nothing on my work machine (must change this), mraz's "that guy" polaroid on my laptop.
* current book: need a new one. you should read "the da vinci code."
* current time: 5:32 p.m.
* current hate: i'm not really hating much right now. perhaps that there aren't any truly kickass concerts in the area coming up.
* story behind your username: believe it or not, i'm making no references to mary magdalene (the number of people who think i'm uber religious girl with such a screenname amuses me to no end). magdalena is a nod to the david gray song, 281 was a mostly random number partially inspired by my high school softball jersey number.
* last CD that you bought: ani difranco. "so much shouting, so much laughter."
* favorite place to be: in a theater or club during a concert, laughing with a friend, in the middle of a hug, wrapped up in blankets.
* least favorite place: in a car skidding on ice and slush. on the metro early in the morning when someone's jumped onto the tracks.
* time you wake up in the morning: generally around 6 a.m. this will soon be changing. revelrevel ...
* if you could play any instrument: guitar. always and forever. mainly because i haven't fucking learned it yet.
* favorite color: did we forget already?
* do you believe in an afterlife?: not sure. i swear i saw lexi twice junior year.
* how tall are you?: 5'5 3/4". i used to say 5'6, but i was very firmly told that i am, in fact, NOT 5'6.
* current favorite phrase: crikey, uber, wicked, "but i digress," revelrevel, nevertheless.
* favorite season: autumn. i'll miss you, my dear fall ...
* favorite day: it always used to be thursday. i'm still partial to it, but sunday holds a nice place in my heart now as well, if only because that's when my column comes out.
* type in a line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "yo."
there we go ... the complete vickie version.
i'm staying up here tonight. first night in the apartment ... whoo hoo. call my cell and revel with me.
i don't know if it's still showing up, but a post i had lost ages ago has been popping up here ... my first attempt at describing miranda's birthday party. i don't know where it went or why it's back, but it can go away again please ...
with it, i found a survey i started answering by never finished. it was showing up here, with a few of my answers and the rest from the website on which i found it ... here's my completed version. enjoy.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: i won't say i blacked out, but i'll certainly admit that things have been dim on a few occasions.
* Missed school because it was raining: rain, no. snow? i was lazy and bed was warm. but voluntarily missing class doesn't really count as "missing," does it? i believe "skipped" is the proper term.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: remember my policy of crossing out stupid questions? it goes back into effect as of ... now.
* Been hurt emotionally: of course.
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes. despite looking the part of an 18-year-old, i'm actually 47. sorry.
* Had an imaginary friend: not an imaginary friend, but when i was little, i used to direct plays or films with imaginary characters. i could be wherever and create some form of performance in my mind. sometimes i'd even be one of the imaginary actresses. i haven't thought about that in years.
* Cried during a Movie: dammit, it was so sad, the way poseidon was saying goodbye to ariel, allowing her to follow her heart to prince eric. i'd probably still cry today.
* Had a crush on a teacher: i think i followed mr. bliss around whenever i could when i was in third grade because i thought he was wonderful, but as far as honest-to-goodness crushes go - i can't recall any right now. well, except for professor case, obviously (good god, i can barely type that without shuddering).
* Ever thought an animated character was hot?:
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: merry merry christmas and the no more games remix album. the others were all on cd. step one-one-one ...
* Been on stage: indeed.
* Cut your hair: grrr.
----------------FavORITES------------------
* Shampoo: herbal essences.
* Color: blues, purples greens, black. dashes of orange and yellow also bring me joy.
* Day/Night: either the middle of the night or just after sunset.
* Summer/Winter: summer
* Lace or satin: satin, i suppose.
* Fave cartoon Characters: mojo jojo. bubbles. piglet. shoe. quite a few, actually.
* Fave Food: mexican, chinese, etc.
* Fave Ad:
* Fave Movie: ne'er could choose just one.
* Fave Ice Cream: vanilla, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, coffee
* Fave Subject: favorite subjects in school were journalism, english and theater.
* Fave 'normal' Drink: coffee - iced in hot times, hot in cold times. french vanilla please. also a fan of hot cider. with a cinammon stick.
* Fave online person: my online sugar daddy (this question would have been crossed out, but i wanted to pretend, albeit briefly, that a sugar daddy existed).
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: nice warm red sweater, black pants, amazon woman books - er, meant boots.
* Hair is: pulled back, but strands are still tickling my face. WILL NOT CUT.
* I'm feeling: warm. much preferred to freezing in the middle of nowhere about two hours ago.
* Eating : nada.
* Drinking: for some reason, i was craving ginger ale earlier. i think this is a first for me. but regardless, now i'm enjoying canada dry (which is really false advertising, as i read here that it is bottled in plano, texas).
* Thinkin about: a story i'm workin on (would it have been too much for the writer of this survey to add a "g" to "thinkin"?)
* Listening to: newsroom chatter.
* Talkin to: will be "talkin" to one of my editors shortly.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: i don't believe so. *thinking* hope.
* Wore a skirt: big negative.
* Met someone New: a few new people. comes with the territory - you know, interviewing people and all.
* Cleaned your room: which one? my new room is too empty to clean (new room!!! hurrah!)
* Done laundry: late last night.
* Drove a car: indeed. frequently.
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Yourself: let's just say more than before.
* Your friends: most of the time.
* Santa Claus: my youth was shatted at age 10 when i read the truth in BOP magazine.
* Tooth Fairy: sure. i just need another set of teeth to lose so i can bring in the dough.
* Destiny/Fate: i didn't for awhile, but now i do to some extent. i believe it plays a part, but you have to make it happen.
* Angels: i'd like to.
* Ghosts: i'd like to.
* UFOs: that would be fun.
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
* Like anyone?: don't i always?
* Who's the loudest: hmm ... i know a lot of loud people now. you have to be to work here, to an extent.
* Who's the shyest: still me.
* Who's the weirdest: probably still me. ;-)
* Who do you go to for advice: beth, rentals, paul.
* Who do you cry to: see above.
* When you cried the most: late spring 2003.
* Whats the best feeling in the world: being competely tucked away in a pair of arms during a great, sqeeze-me-tight hug.
* Worst feeling: unwanted solitude.
* First grade teacher's name: i had two. ms. someone-i-can't-remember and mrs. stoddard.
* last word(s) you said: "in that case, why did the moron mention fucking wetlands?"
* last song you sang: howie day "end of our days"
* last person you hugged: my father.
* last time you said 'I love you' verbally and meant it: this morning, to my father. if we're talking love love, i don't remember.
* last time on the net: uh ... now ...
* last time you cried: a few days ago.
* what's in your cd player: howie day "stop all the world now."
* what color socks are you wearing: white. which is why i'm wearing these stupid boots.
* what's under your bed: under proctor bed - shoes, bags, a couple boxes. under burlington bed - nada.
* what time did you wake up today: 6:15. then slept until 7. bwahahaha.
----------- ++Future++ --------------
* where do you want to go: all over the world. united kingdom, ireland, australia and california in particular.
* what is your career going to be: journalism/novelist/critic
* where are you going to live: who knows? i plan stints in burlington and boston ... other than that, i'll go where life takes me.
* how many kids do you want: do you think i'd subject a young, impressionable mind to me? i can't imagine that right now.
* what kind of car will you have: one that doesn't die twice in one night.
------------ ++Randomness++ -------------
* current taste: ginger ale.
* current smell: cocoa butter lotion.
* current desktop picture: nothing on my work machine (must change this), mraz's "that guy" polaroid on my laptop.
* current book: need a new one. you should read "the da vinci code."
* current time: 5:32 p.m.
* current hate: i'm not really hating much right now. perhaps that there aren't any truly kickass concerts in the area coming up.
* story behind your username: believe it or not, i'm making no references to mary magdalene (the number of people who think i'm uber religious girl with such a screenname amuses me to no end). magdalena is a nod to the david gray song, 281 was a mostly random number partially inspired by my high school softball jersey number.
* last CD that you bought: ani difranco. "so much shouting, so much laughter."
* favorite place to be: in a theater or club during a concert, laughing with a friend, in the middle of a hug, wrapped up in blankets.
* least favorite place: in a car skidding on ice and slush. on the metro early in the morning when someone's jumped onto the tracks.
* time you wake up in the morning: generally around 6 a.m. this will soon be changing. revelrevel ...
* if you could play any instrument: guitar. always and forever. mainly because i haven't fucking learned it yet.
* favorite color: did we forget already?
* do you believe in an afterlife?: not sure. i swear i saw lexi twice junior year.
* how tall are you?: 5'5 3/4". i used to say 5'6, but i was very firmly told that i am, in fact, NOT 5'6.
* current favorite phrase: crikey, uber, wicked, "but i digress," revelrevel, nevertheless.
* favorite season: autumn. i'll miss you, my dear fall ...
* favorite day: it always used to be thursday. i'm still partial to it, but sunday holds a nice place in my heart now as well, if only because that's when my column comes out.
* type in a line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "yo."
there we go ... the complete vickie version.
i'm staying up here tonight. first night in the apartment ... whoo hoo. call my cell and revel with me.
hey! lookee here!
sure, it's not an expose or a big crime story, but it's still a front page story and "top news" online!
driving up to work today was ridiculous. driving between proctor and middlebury, i bid a fond farewell to the grass hidden beneath inches of snow. i figured i would see something other than the white stuff again in ... say ... april.
nearly spinning out twice added to my sense of forboding.
sure, it's not an expose or a big crime story, but it's still a front page story and "top news" online!
driving up to work today was ridiculous. driving between proctor and middlebury, i bid a fond farewell to the grass hidden beneath inches of snow. i figured i would see something other than the white stuff again in ... say ... april.
nearly spinning out twice added to my sense of forboding.
12.01.2003
damn you, man ...
the ultimate kicker. i am pleased to have unleashed some creative juices with what i thought, upon a slightly later viewing, was something rather insightful. or deep. or just plain odd, which works for me too. i smile about a slightly successful attempt in the whole writing game.
and then it's a one-two punch. one - major typo in the post. not just your typical speiling error (hehehe), but one that, with a single mistyped letter, creates a completely absurd situation. and, naturally, is commented on by my dear friend elizabeth, thus continuing my "do i want to hug her or slap her?" debate (hahaha). :-)
and then the knockout punch. after all that, i dejectedly turn to some form of delight. i check out my normal online haunts. email? nope. new averi tour dates? nope. mraz? four new journal entries full of his typical wit and admirable ramblings.
Bill Withers rules. Tonight I’m listening to his savvy hits in the back of the bus, vibrating along, humming a song and looking forward to tomorrow. I’ve been looking out the window a lot more recently. Traveling at night you don’t get to see much of the world your driving by. I’ve been napping more so I can stay up or wake up for sunrises. I like the earth in the morning after it’s had a night to cool off in the darkness. Before the sun actually takes to the sky there’s a pleasant period when it seems the world is lighting itself up, anxious to get spinning again. Sometimes it feels like it’s our convoy that’s turning the world around on a conveyor, like we’re on a gigantic treadmill, like all anyone has to do is sit still and we’ll pull them closer.
aurgh. just as i start to feel as if i'm making some progress, as if the words are coming easier and with more style and grace, here comes mr. mraz, ready to show me how writers REALLY do it. beat any potential ego into submission.
and yet how i love these occasional beatings. i start thinking that maybe he's too far gone into teen idolatry - that maybe the 12- and 13-year-olds can have him and i'll go find some other underground voice to call my favorite. and then i see some phrase he comes up with. or the expression on his face right before singing the national anthem on thanksgiving day.
and i know i'll just keep listening to the music, tune out the pre-pubescent screams and work my arse off to try sounding half as good on the page as he does.
oh, one other thing. the other day i found the most shocking, bittersweet, amusing of all possible things. i was packing and looked in my closet for something (i can't even recall what it was i was looking for now), when i found a box. more of a time capsule, really. 1993-1994. my own teen idolotry years. we're talking about a treasure trove here, my friends. a stack of BOP and BIG BOPPER magazines. jonathan brandis centerfolds carefully preserved (in some cases, with the tape folded down because i couldn't bear to tear it off and risk damaging the poster). pages of my rider strong photo album scrapbook (including "15 ways to celebrate rider's 15th birthday!!!"). two of the BOP surveys i didn't actually send in, one of which includes the following words in my responses (in no particular order):
- 4-eva
- c-ya
- 2 be
and the ultimate in early '90s note-writing slang ...
u're.
how can i be a writer with this in my background????
but then i found the most unexpected thing ever, something that, considering recent events, was a bit creepy.
a version of the fan letter i sent jb when i was 13 years old. complete with vickie-at-13 handwriting and attempts at humor and earnestness.
i had completely forgotten that i'd kept a copy of it, but reading it a decade later, i could remember writing it, sitting pretty much in the same place i was reading it now. agonizing over what to say and hoping upon hope that i received something in response.
it was hilarious to find - and my laughing description of it (including my reading it out loud) for beth brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
but it was poignant as well. i remember it so clearly now that i came across such a blatant reminder, but to think i'd pretty much forgotten about it for most of a decade ...
almost makes me wonder which of the things i view as important now will i view that way when i'm, say, 33?
the ultimate kicker. i am pleased to have unleashed some creative juices with what i thought, upon a slightly later viewing, was something rather insightful. or deep. or just plain odd, which works for me too. i smile about a slightly successful attempt in the whole writing game.
and then it's a one-two punch. one - major typo in the post. not just your typical speiling error (hehehe), but one that, with a single mistyped letter, creates a completely absurd situation. and, naturally, is commented on by my dear friend elizabeth, thus continuing my "do i want to hug her or slap her?" debate (hahaha). :-)
and then the knockout punch. after all that, i dejectedly turn to some form of delight. i check out my normal online haunts. email? nope. new averi tour dates? nope. mraz? four new journal entries full of his typical wit and admirable ramblings.
Bill Withers rules. Tonight I’m listening to his savvy hits in the back of the bus, vibrating along, humming a song and looking forward to tomorrow. I’ve been looking out the window a lot more recently. Traveling at night you don’t get to see much of the world your driving by. I’ve been napping more so I can stay up or wake up for sunrises. I like the earth in the morning after it’s had a night to cool off in the darkness. Before the sun actually takes to the sky there’s a pleasant period when it seems the world is lighting itself up, anxious to get spinning again. Sometimes it feels like it’s our convoy that’s turning the world around on a conveyor, like we’re on a gigantic treadmill, like all anyone has to do is sit still and we’ll pull them closer.
aurgh. just as i start to feel as if i'm making some progress, as if the words are coming easier and with more style and grace, here comes mr. mraz, ready to show me how writers REALLY do it. beat any potential ego into submission.
and yet how i love these occasional beatings. i start thinking that maybe he's too far gone into teen idolatry - that maybe the 12- and 13-year-olds can have him and i'll go find some other underground voice to call my favorite. and then i see some phrase he comes up with. or the expression on his face right before singing the national anthem on thanksgiving day.
and i know i'll just keep listening to the music, tune out the pre-pubescent screams and work my arse off to try sounding half as good on the page as he does.
oh, one other thing. the other day i found the most shocking, bittersweet, amusing of all possible things. i was packing and looked in my closet for something (i can't even recall what it was i was looking for now), when i found a box. more of a time capsule, really. 1993-1994. my own teen idolotry years. we're talking about a treasure trove here, my friends. a stack of BOP and BIG BOPPER magazines. jonathan brandis centerfolds carefully preserved (in some cases, with the tape folded down because i couldn't bear to tear it off and risk damaging the poster). pages of my rider strong photo album scrapbook (including "15 ways to celebrate rider's 15th birthday!!!"). two of the BOP surveys i didn't actually send in, one of which includes the following words in my responses (in no particular order):
- 4-eva
- c-ya
- 2 be
and the ultimate in early '90s note-writing slang ...
u're.
how can i be a writer with this in my background????
but then i found the most unexpected thing ever, something that, considering recent events, was a bit creepy.
a version of the fan letter i sent jb when i was 13 years old. complete with vickie-at-13 handwriting and attempts at humor and earnestness.
i had completely forgotten that i'd kept a copy of it, but reading it a decade later, i could remember writing it, sitting pretty much in the same place i was reading it now. agonizing over what to say and hoping upon hope that i received something in response.
it was hilarious to find - and my laughing description of it (including my reading it out loud) for beth brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
but it was poignant as well. i remember it so clearly now that i came across such a blatant reminder, but to think i'd pretty much forgotten about it for most of a decade ...
almost makes me wonder which of the things i view as important now will i view that way when i'm, say, 33?
and a happy, happy 21st birthday to miranda!
it's official. we do not seek out these kinds of adventures - the adventures simply find us. and they never cease to be hilarious.
ok, so this evening promised an "intimate evening with averi" at the night spot on killington. my trusty partner in crime and i pile into faithful red and make the short trip up the mountain (where, for the record, there's already natural snow accumulating - ACK) and pull into the parking lot, where the marquee says something about celebrating miranda's 21st birthday live. and, in smaller letters, "with averi."
beth sees it before i do.
"vickie, i think it's a birthday party. look at the sign."
"i don't want to look at the sign."
"look at it!"
"i don't want to!!! no!"
anyway. we are already starting to laugh about the direction in which the evening seems to be taking a turn, but we go in anyway. the place is virtually deserted, save a whole lot of party decorations (balloons and the like) and one man, who greets us with, "hi! are you here for the party?"
oh shit. of course i, being full of my natural grace and wit, reply with, "uh ... not really ... we're here for the concert?"
"oh," he replies, looking somewhat puzzled. "they're down there."
now, we are a little on the early side. but did i mention there being virtually no one there? we can see the guys setting up on the stage in the distance, but at this point, the awkwardness of the situation is proving too strange (hilarious) to endure. after some contemplation, we decide to not 1) further crash the party and 2) face potential embarrassment (particularly in my case), so we cut our losses and leave, making a dash for the car, jumping in and bursting into hysterical laughter.
now don't think that this would be our normal course of action. in fact, were some variables, well, varied, we would have hung around and celebrated miranda's 21st with the best of them. but the fact that it was that band - a band where we knew the people - made it feel strange to even consider. i suppose such logic really shows how backwards we can be, as one would think that we'd be more inclined to stick around, right?
nope.
so instead we found new plans for the night, including copious birthday songs in honor of our new mysterious friend miranda - who, if nothing else, has great taste in music. hey, my birthday's in less than two weeks - anyone want to arrange it so they play my 23rd ... hahaha.
i don't know how we find these situations, but they're funny as hell and i love that we have the ability to find the humor. in spades ...
ok, stupid survey time. why do i actually fill these out? i have no idea but find myself unable to not (i swear i'm just narcissistic):
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: kind of sort of not really. if not, came damn close. not something i'm proud of ...
* Missed school because it was raining: rain, no. snow? i was lazy and bed was warm.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: remember my policy of crossing out stupid questions? it goes back into effect as of ... now.
* Been hurt emotionally: of course.
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes. despite looking the part of an 18-year-old, i'm actually 47. sorry.
* Had an imaginary friend: not an imaginary friend, but when i was little, i used to direct plays or films with imaginary characters. i could be wherever and create some form of performance in my mind. sometimes i'd even be one of the imaginary actresses. i haven't thought about that in years.
* Cried during a Movie: dammit, it was so sad, the way poseidon was saying goodbye to ariel, allowing her to follow her heart to prince eric. i'd probably still cry today.
* Had a crush on a teacher: i think i followed mr. bliss around whenever i could when i was in third grade because i thought he was wonderful, but as far as honest-to-goodness crushes go - i can't recall any right now. well, except for professor case, obviously (good god, i can barely type that without shuddering).
*Ever thought an animated character was hot?:
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: merry merry christmas and the no more games remix album. the others were all on cd. step one-one-one ...
* Been on stage: indeed.
* Cut your hair: grrr.
----------------FavORITES------------------
* Shampoo: herbal essences.
* Color: blues, greens, black. dashes of orange and yellow also bring me joy.
* Day/Night: either the middle of the night or just after sunset.
* Summer/Winter: summer
* Lace or satin: satin, i suppose.
* Fave cartoon Characters: mojo jojo. bubbles. piglet. shoe. quite a few, actually.
* Fave Food: mexican, chinese, etc.
*Fave Ad:
* Fave Movie: could ne'er chose just one.
* Fave Ice Cream: vanilla, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, coffee
* Fave Subject: favorite subjects in school were journalism, english and theater.
* Fave 'normal' Drink: iced coffee. french vanilla please.
* Fave online person: my online sugar daddy (this question would have been crossed out, but i wanted to pretend, albeit briefly, that a sugar daddy existed).
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: green hooded sweater, jeans.
* Hair is: disheveled.
* I'm feeling: sleepy and laugh-sore.
* Eating : i'm also feeling very full at the moment.
* Drinking: i do need some water, now that you mention it ...
* Thinkin about: my bed.
* Listening to: the television. some nestle commercial at the moment.
* Talkin to: myself? everyone's in bed.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: yes, but it was because i was trying not to cough during the play.
* Wore a skirt: hells no, you want my legs to freeze off altogether?
* Met someone New: where's miranda?
* Cleaned your room: in desperate need of it.
* Done laundry: had no time.
* Drove a car: red was livin laarge tonight.
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Yourself: let's just say more than before.
* Your friends: most of the time.
* Santa Claus: the concept of santa claus is a tad disturbing but slightly comforting
* Tooth Fairy: i wish i could still lose teeth. i like dollars
* Destiny/Fate: sometimes i can't help but think so
* Angels: nah
* Ghosts: ask chutniemango
* UFOs: maybe
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
* Like anyone?: yes
* Who's the loudest: me
* Who's the shyest: klouman
* Who's the weirdest: vinitz
* Who do you go to for advice: katie, erin, adam (when he is not being a loser)
* Who do you cry to: i don't cry that much
* When you cried the most: march 2003
* Whats the best feeling in the world: getting your hair washed before it's cut
* Worst feeling: deceit
* First grade teacher's name: miss boisture. i think she got married though.
* last word(s) you said: that was over 4 hours ago. no idea
* last song you sang: i tend to break out into song a lot.. i don't remember
* last person you hugged: wayne.
* last time you said 'I love you' verbally and meant it: don't remember
* last time on the net: ALL THE EFFING TIME LOLOL
* last time you cried: been a long time
* what's in your cd player: burned cds of images
* what color socks are you wearing: white boring ones because i hate socks
* what's under your bed: boxes of photos and various junk
* what time did you wake up today: 8:30am for class. just took a nap from 4:30-7:40pm
----------- ++Future++ --------------
* where do you want to go: i like boston
* what is your career going to be: photography / art direction
* where are you going to live: this is what i put in last year: "i don't know. i like new york city but if i end up loving london, who knows?" funny. i like boston a lot and i'll probably stay here for at least a year. curious about the pacific northwest and northen california
* how many kids do you want: more than one so the kid isn't all fucked up
* what kind of car will you have: smart cars need to come to america
------------ ++Randomness++ -------------
* current taste: gross post-nap mouth
* current smell: no
* current desktop picture: bowling photobooth pictures
* current book: the wanting seed by anthony burgess. i suck at reading
* current time: 8:17pm
* current hate: i can't stop overanalyzing
* story behind your username: it's from a pippi longstocking chapter entitled "pippi finds a spink."
* last CD that you bought: it's been sooo long. i think REM's "document"
* favorite place to be: on a mountain snowboarding, in the grass sleeping, on a beach, in my bed, up a tree, on my bike
* least favorite place: providence or worcester. tottenham court road in london at rush hour. attentive knows
* time you wake up in the morning: noonish when i don't have class until 1. 8:30 when i have class at 9. the weekends could be anywhere from 11am to 5pm
* if you could play any instrument: same answer as last year. the hammered dulcimer is intense. this guy was playing one at the common a couple weeks ago and it was fucking incredible
* favorite color: REPEAT QUESTION. earth tones plz
* do you believe in an afterlife?: no clue
* how tall are you?: 5'4"
* current favorite phrase: "ZING" / "that's the best shit ever" / "that's amazing" / "eff that noise"
* favorite season: autumn. except when it snows, lkie this morning
* favorite day: saturday holds the most possibility
* type in a line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "sp1nk (8:05:56 PM): k"
and now, concert-less for the evening (*tear* hahaha), i'm going to curl up in my bed, turn on some music and let the sounds guide me to dreamland.
and make up for the hour and a half of sleep i got last night ... bwahaha.
it's official. we do not seek out these kinds of adventures - the adventures simply find us. and they never cease to be hilarious.
ok, so this evening promised an "intimate evening with averi" at the night spot on killington. my trusty partner in crime and i pile into faithful red and make the short trip up the mountain (where, for the record, there's already natural snow accumulating - ACK) and pull into the parking lot, where the marquee says something about celebrating miranda's 21st birthday live. and, in smaller letters, "with averi."
beth sees it before i do.
"vickie, i think it's a birthday party. look at the sign."
"i don't want to look at the sign."
"look at it!"
"i don't want to!!! no!"
anyway. we are already starting to laugh about the direction in which the evening seems to be taking a turn, but we go in anyway. the place is virtually deserted, save a whole lot of party decorations (balloons and the like) and one man, who greets us with, "hi! are you here for the party?"
oh shit. of course i, being full of my natural grace and wit, reply with, "uh ... not really ... we're here for the concert?"
"oh," he replies, looking somewhat puzzled. "they're down there."
now, we are a little on the early side. but did i mention there being virtually no one there? we can see the guys setting up on the stage in the distance, but at this point, the awkwardness of the situation is proving too strange (hilarious) to endure. after some contemplation, we decide to not 1) further crash the party and 2) face potential embarrassment (particularly in my case), so we cut our losses and leave, making a dash for the car, jumping in and bursting into hysterical laughter.
now don't think that this would be our normal course of action. in fact, were some variables, well, varied, we would have hung around and celebrated miranda's 21st with the best of them. but the fact that it was that band - a band where we knew the people - made it feel strange to even consider. i suppose such logic really shows how backwards we can be, as one would think that we'd be more inclined to stick around, right?
nope.
so instead we found new plans for the night, including copious birthday songs in honor of our new mysterious friend miranda - who, if nothing else, has great taste in music. hey, my birthday's in less than two weeks - anyone want to arrange it so they play my 23rd ... hahaha.
i don't know how we find these situations, but they're funny as hell and i love that we have the ability to find the humor. in spades ...
ok, stupid survey time. why do i actually fill these out? i have no idea but find myself unable to not (i swear i'm just narcissistic):
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: kind of sort of not really. if not, came damn close. not something i'm proud of ...
* Missed school because it was raining: rain, no. snow? i was lazy and bed was warm.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: remember my policy of crossing out stupid questions? it goes back into effect as of ... now.
* Been hurt emotionally: of course.
* Kept a secret from everyone: yes. despite looking the part of an 18-year-old, i'm actually 47. sorry.
* Had an imaginary friend: not an imaginary friend, but when i was little, i used to direct plays or films with imaginary characters. i could be wherever and create some form of performance in my mind. sometimes i'd even be one of the imaginary actresses. i haven't thought about that in years.
* Cried during a Movie: dammit, it was so sad, the way poseidon was saying goodbye to ariel, allowing her to follow her heart to prince eric. i'd probably still cry today.
* Had a crush on a teacher: i think i followed mr. bliss around whenever i could when i was in third grade because i thought he was wonderful, but as far as honest-to-goodness crushes go - i can't recall any right now. well, except for professor case, obviously (good god, i can barely type that without shuddering).
*
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: merry merry christmas and the no more games remix album. the others were all on cd. step one-one-one ...
* Been on stage: indeed.
* Cut your hair: grrr.
----------------FavORITES------------------
* Shampoo: herbal essences.
* Color: blues, greens, black. dashes of orange and yellow also bring me joy.
* Day/Night: either the middle of the night or just after sunset.
* Summer/Winter: summer
* Lace or satin: satin, i suppose.
* Fave cartoon Characters: mojo jojo. bubbles. piglet. shoe. quite a few, actually.
* Fave Food: mexican, chinese, etc.
*
* Fave Movie: could ne'er chose just one.
* Fave Ice Cream: vanilla, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, coffee
* Fave Subject: favorite subjects in school were journalism, english and theater.
* Fave 'normal' Drink: iced coffee. french vanilla please.
* Fave online person: my online sugar daddy (this question would have been crossed out, but i wanted to pretend, albeit briefly, that a sugar daddy existed).
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
* Wearing: green hooded sweater, jeans.
* Hair is: disheveled.
* I'm feeling: sleepy and laugh-sore.
* Eating : i'm also feeling very full at the moment.
* Drinking: i do need some water, now that you mention it ...
* Thinkin about: my bed.
* Listening to: the television. some nestle commercial at the moment.
* Talkin to: myself? everyone's in bed.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: yes, but it was because i was trying not to cough during the play.
* Wore a skirt: hells no, you want my legs to freeze off altogether?
* Met someone New: where's miranda?
* Cleaned your room: in desperate need of it.
* Done laundry: had no time.
* Drove a car: red was livin laarge tonight.
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
* Yourself: let's just say more than before.
* Your friends: most of the time.
* Santa Claus: the concept of santa claus is a tad disturbing but slightly comforting
* Tooth Fairy: i wish i could still lose teeth. i like dollars
* Destiny/Fate: sometimes i can't help but think so
* Angels: nah
* Ghosts: ask chutniemango
* UFOs: maybe
-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
* Like anyone?: yes
* Who's the loudest: me
* Who's the shyest: klouman
* Who's the weirdest: vinitz
* Who do you go to for advice: katie, erin, adam (when he is not being a loser)
* Who do you cry to: i don't cry that much
* When you cried the most: march 2003
* Whats the best feeling in the world: getting your hair washed before it's cut
* Worst feeling: deceit
* First grade teacher's name: miss boisture. i think she got married though.
* last word(s) you said: that was over 4 hours ago. no idea
* last song you sang: i tend to break out into song a lot.. i don't remember
* last person you hugged: wayne.
* last time you said 'I love you' verbally and meant it: don't remember
* last time on the net: ALL THE EFFING TIME LOLOL
* last time you cried: been a long time
* what's in your cd player: burned cds of images
* what color socks are you wearing: white boring ones because i hate socks
* what's under your bed: boxes of photos and various junk
* what time did you wake up today: 8:30am for class. just took a nap from 4:30-7:40pm
----------- ++Future++ --------------
* where do you want to go: i like boston
* what is your career going to be: photography / art direction
* where are you going to live: this is what i put in last year: "i don't know. i like new york city but if i end up loving london, who knows?" funny. i like boston a lot and i'll probably stay here for at least a year. curious about the pacific northwest and northen california
* how many kids do you want: more than one so the kid isn't all fucked up
* what kind of car will you have: smart cars need to come to america
------------ ++Randomness++ -------------
* current taste: gross post-nap mouth
* current smell: no
* current desktop picture: bowling photobooth pictures
* current book: the wanting seed by anthony burgess. i suck at reading
* current time: 8:17pm
* current hate: i can't stop overanalyzing
* story behind your username: it's from a pippi longstocking chapter entitled "pippi finds a spink."
* last CD that you bought: it's been sooo long. i think REM's "document"
* favorite place to be: on a mountain snowboarding, in the grass sleeping, on a beach, in my bed, up a tree, on my bike
* least favorite place: providence or worcester. tottenham court road in london at rush hour. attentive knows
* time you wake up in the morning: noonish when i don't have class until 1. 8:30 when i have class at 9. the weekends could be anywhere from 11am to 5pm
* if you could play any instrument: same answer as last year. the hammered dulcimer is intense. this guy was playing one at the common a couple weeks ago and it was fucking incredible
* favorite color: REPEAT QUESTION. earth tones plz
* do you believe in an afterlife?: no clue
* how tall are you?: 5'4"
* current favorite phrase: "ZING" / "that's the best shit ever" / "that's amazing" / "eff that noise"
* favorite season: autumn. except when it snows, lkie this morning
* favorite day: saturday holds the most possibility
* type in a line from the last thing you wrote to someone: "sp1nk (8:05:56 PM): k"
and now, concert-less for the evening (*tear* hahaha), i'm going to curl up in my bed, turn on some music and let the sounds guide me to dreamland.
and make up for the hour and a half of sleep i got last night ... bwahaha.
just give me a -scape ...
seascape, lakescape, anything with a large body of water and i'm suddenly a much happier version of myself.
the cutting, blustery wind coming off the lake today nearly blew me over on several occasions as i teetered down main street in my ridiculously uncomfortable books this morning. never fails that the one time i'm going to do serious walking is the time i wear the most uncomfortable footwear.
while the wind was threatening to level me, it was creating gorgeously savage waves on the lake, spread about before me at the bottom of the hill. a deep slate blue, the water was speckled with foamy waves cresting and breaking over and over again. from a distance, it looked as though the water was speckled with chunks of ice.
a few days before, the lake provided yet another dramatic setting for my random musings. while making the trip from burlington back home, the sky ahead of me was a pale pearl pink, the mountains providing jagged black contrast. to my left, the clouds were a smoldering purple, meeting the pink sky to create a misty lavender.
but the lake was what truly captured my attention. the exact same shade of pink, it was impossible to tell where sky ended and lake began. instead, it looked as if the sky had dripped down in front of the mountains, pooling at the base of trees and rock. with the slight haze coming off the water hiding any wave motion, it appeared still as can be, as if nothing in the landscape was moving, save my small car and the occasional pair of headlights that came in the opposite direction.
but with the light the way it was and the haze over everything, the color of everything else around me seemed to try to compete. the grass, trapped in that kind-of-green-kind-of-brown stage, practically glowed against the stark tree trunks. power lines traced the road i was on, the dark lines criscrossing the pink and purple. the occasional traffic light burst with neon light, the white headlights dazzling my eyes as they raced past.
life was coming at me, surrounding me, looking more as if it were on a television screen with off-kilter color levels.
anyhoo. i begin the great victoria apartment move-in after work this evening. i'm trying to take advantage of my parents' offers to help while they're still in the eastern time zone (they're going to utah for ten days come thursday), so the big things - things i can't drag upstairs on my own - are being loaded in today. some medium- to large-sized items follow tomorrow and then i'm on my own to pack and move everything else. moving will be more of a process than the one-time event style i prefer, but there's not much to be done about it. so instead, i'll just revel in the fact that i'm FINALLY MOVING.
hurrah!!!!
i've started reading reviews as much as possible lately. the way i look at it, i need to read to learn and improve my own work.
but i came across a piece i'm really not at all impressed with this afternoon. i was shocked to see that it was written by roger ebert, someone i associate with being a good critic (all things considered, that is - i don't know if i can ever really be crazy about someone who can pass judgment with a thumbs up or down - a bit too "gladiator" for my taste). now, i know everyone has an off day, but if you're writing about a movie you intend to give four stars to, the review should reflect that.
now take a look at this. he proves his point, i suppose, but what's up with that last, rambling graf? there's no reason for it to be there ... i figured he had beaten those tendencies out of him long ago ...
seascape, lakescape, anything with a large body of water and i'm suddenly a much happier version of myself.
the cutting, blustery wind coming off the lake today nearly blew me over on several occasions as i teetered down main street in my ridiculously uncomfortable books this morning. never fails that the one time i'm going to do serious walking is the time i wear the most uncomfortable footwear.
while the wind was threatening to level me, it was creating gorgeously savage waves on the lake, spread about before me at the bottom of the hill. a deep slate blue, the water was speckled with foamy waves cresting and breaking over and over again. from a distance, it looked as though the water was speckled with chunks of ice.
a few days before, the lake provided yet another dramatic setting for my random musings. while making the trip from burlington back home, the sky ahead of me was a pale pearl pink, the mountains providing jagged black contrast. to my left, the clouds were a smoldering purple, meeting the pink sky to create a misty lavender.
but the lake was what truly captured my attention. the exact same shade of pink, it was impossible to tell where sky ended and lake began. instead, it looked as if the sky had dripped down in front of the mountains, pooling at the base of trees and rock. with the slight haze coming off the water hiding any wave motion, it appeared still as can be, as if nothing in the landscape was moving, save my small car and the occasional pair of headlights that came in the opposite direction.
but with the light the way it was and the haze over everything, the color of everything else around me seemed to try to compete. the grass, trapped in that kind-of-green-kind-of-brown stage, practically glowed against the stark tree trunks. power lines traced the road i was on, the dark lines criscrossing the pink and purple. the occasional traffic light burst with neon light, the white headlights dazzling my eyes as they raced past.
life was coming at me, surrounding me, looking more as if it were on a television screen with off-kilter color levels.
anyhoo. i begin the great victoria apartment move-in after work this evening. i'm trying to take advantage of my parents' offers to help while they're still in the eastern time zone (they're going to utah for ten days come thursday), so the big things - things i can't drag upstairs on my own - are being loaded in today. some medium- to large-sized items follow tomorrow and then i'm on my own to pack and move everything else. moving will be more of a process than the one-time event style i prefer, but there's not much to be done about it. so instead, i'll just revel in the fact that i'm FINALLY MOVING.
hurrah!!!!
i've started reading reviews as much as possible lately. the way i look at it, i need to read to learn and improve my own work.
but i came across a piece i'm really not at all impressed with this afternoon. i was shocked to see that it was written by roger ebert, someone i associate with being a good critic (all things considered, that is - i don't know if i can ever really be crazy about someone who can pass judgment with a thumbs up or down - a bit too "gladiator" for my taste). now, i know everyone has an off day, but if you're writing about a movie you intend to give four stars to, the review should reflect that.
now take a look at this. he proves his point, i suppose, but what's up with that last, rambling graf? there's no reason for it to be there ... i figured he had beaten those tendencies out of him long ago ...
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