i've been on a music donwload frenzy.

my computer will start to dislike me very soon. which means i will have to start going through my songs and deleting ones i don't listen to. or at least burn them to cd first.

but it's so hard to choose. even if i've listened to it only once, i hate the feeling of deleting a song. it's like i'm saying the song isn't good enough. :(

frustration.

i don't like to let people see when i'm getting stressed. people have enough going on, they don't need to see a whiny victoria bitching about the choices she's made. but every once in awhile, i just snap. and in order to get my thoughts out this time, i'm just going to pound the keys a bit with the hope that i'll feel better.

the urge to scream was prompted by my editor at the f tonight. i called to see if i could come in at 8:30 instead of 7 (i wanted to make sure someone was at the s.a. open forum--not to mention that i was interested in attending for my own personal interest), and i got a runaround answer that could be simplified to "we want you here at 7." fine, whatever. keeping in mind the number of times i have come in early, switched around my schedule, showed up on a friday night for what was supposed to be a "busy night" but was actually just one or two phone calls and four hours spent staring at a blank computer screen. the one time i ask if i can come in late and they tell me no. they should know that i have been busting my ass for them and i wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

i just feel like i'm running from obligation to obligation and have no time to relax or sleep or clean my room or watch television or go to a movie. all of the things i'm doing are things i've always wanted to do--and, don't get me wrong, i'm happy to be doing them--but having them all weighing down on me at once is pushing me to my breaking point. and they don't all fit together--missing a meeting i should cover for defender because i have to be at the f, calling in sick to work because i have to cover a story, not being able to focus on my senior sem because i have defender, not being able to get an assignment done because i've got work followed by f followed by story ideas for defender...

and that's not even including the opportunity to see my friends--i feel like i'm constantly running in or out the door, saying hello to my housemates as i rush off to the next thing. within the span of sunday night-monday night, i talked to lars on the phone more than i saw or talked to beth or michelle--and it's entirely my fault. i need to have time to spend with my favorite people. but to whom do i say, "no, i can't do that, i need time for myself"? the f is counting on me. the defender counts on me. my grade for senior sem is riding on what i do. and my body is constantly screaming at me for not sleeping enough, not eating enough (or not eating well enough), my room is in desperate need of cleaning, there are dishes and downstairs to clean, i have things in my car that i brought back from spring break with me that are still in the trunk...

i have to tackle things one item at a time. it's the way it works best. but it's hard right now to do that--as i work on one thing, i get calls or emails or reminders of the other things i need to do. and i'm constantly yawning or rubbing my eyes because i'm tired. and i find whatever phone is available and stare at it, wanting to call my friends and talk to them about how they are doing.

i know it's just a little slump--part of the cycle. but seeing the days fly by and graduation race closer makes me feel all that much more desperate. the little kid in me wants someone to give me a hug and tell me that i don't have to worry about all of this. and that graduation isn't going to be here before i know it. and that i won't look back on the last year of my college career, wishing i'd done less and had time to live a little more.

alright, enough whining. have to get to the f. don't mind me, i'll be perfectly fine in no time.

i was wondering if anyone would contact the defender about it...

we received an ad from planned parenthood, ran it last week and will run it this week. i knew that people would probably have something to say about the fact that we are accepting an advertisement from an organization like that, particularly because we're at a catholic college that refuses to discuss making condoms available to students. ultimately, however, i guess i just felt that it was important. it's not like planned parenthood deals strictly with abortions, afterall. in many respects, i think st. michael's hides from these issues way more than it should--using the "we're a catholic college" bit instead of really dealing with issues that should be dealt with.

abortion is a heady topic--one that i don't necessarily have a concrete opinion of--and i know that running the ad will make and apparently has made some people uncomfortable. however, who am i to say that we refuse to run an advertisement for an organization that offers help to women in a variety of manners?

i feel like my superhero alter ego right now would be Issue Girl. dealing with all of these important decisions and whatnot...it messes with my head a bit.

3:30 on a defender monday...not bad, considering that i had to conduct interviews, organize and sort notes, and write a story...i'm actually quite pleased, to be honest. rachel and paul get gold stars for all of their help. yay!

it felt so good to be able to work on a story for once...paul laughed at how giddy i was. i loved being on the phone with people and leaving messages and being able to get things confirmed and ask tough questions!

highlight of the night was the last phone call i made. keep in mind that i did feel really bad for having to call at midnight, but it needed to be done.

*phone rings*
person called (hereafter referred to as p.c.): *picks up phone* you are not seriously calling me at this time of night, are you?
me: yes i am.
p.c.: what the fuck do you want?
me: i want a statement. want to make one?
p.c.: jesus christ...

hey, i got the statement. and next time, maybe he'll think twice when he doesn't return my voicemails. :):):)

so...st. patrick's day has come to a close...while many may feel that an 11 p.m. ending time is way too early, keep in mind that the day began almost 16 hours ago...

it feels like it's at least 2 a.m. i was determined to have a good time, and i did. going to rira's at 9 in the morning was an interesting experience, but i'm glad we went there instead of what ales you...i liked the rira's crowd and it's larger and more comfortable. the irish ambiance further helped. had my long island (naturally) and was good. the rest of the day was spent on campus...

stood by meg's house around 11:30 or noon watching erica, sean, meg and the like playing drinking wiffleball (you reach a base, you have to drink the beer placed there), dropkick murphys blaring through josh & nick's living room windows. we bounced about, singing along to "barroom heroes", wearing our green and drinking our various beverages. some graduated members of that group were back for the weekend. it felt good to know that the defender was ahead of schedule and be stress-free and goofy for a day.

the day was an opportunity for random pdrunken photo ops, a chance to see people i haven't had a chance to visit with for awhile, and time to have fun. becca partied like a rock star and, to the best of my knowledge, avoided christening a jacques...it was good to be able to have a free day on both of our schedules and hang out...we stopped by our old house during the afternoon and sat on the porch...i perched in my old spot (resting on the railing with my back on the wall and my foot against the crosspost) while becca sat perpendicular to me, and there was an odd sense of displacement--i settled into my little place like i'd never left, stretching out my legs and again loving the fact that the crosspost's location is just right for me to rest my feet on and fully strech out my legs--but at the same time, almost a year has gone by and so much has changed. i was glad to have becca there for the experience.

on our way back from downtown, we stopped at the bevy and we had a discussion about goldschlager--the last (and only) time i'd ever had it was during my senior year of high school, visiting josh at elmira, and i remembered that i'd loved it--and i said i needed to have it again before i graduated. less than two hours later, jeremy led me into his house and told me that i needed to have a drink and pulled out a bottle of goldschlager. so i had my shot and was content.

i'm interested in knowing if the st. patrick's day revelry here is anything like at other colleges. i talked to lars tonight before he headed out to go drinking, and he asked me why we were having such an early night. after i explained that we were at the bars at 9 a.m., he was floored and asked about the day, asking, "is this just an irish thing or something?" but considering that the uvm kids were nowhere to be found this morning and the bar scene, other than the unruly students of the catholic institution i attend (ah, my heathens, how i love thee), was dead, i had to reply that, at least around this area, it appears to be a st. mike's thing. is it?

now, all the stands between me and my bed is ten defender proofs that need to be edited. technically i should read over the section from lolita more carefully, but i know enough of it to get by in class tomorrow. and, considering the long, random day, the last thing i want to focus on right now is forty-year-old humbert humbert having sex with a twelve-year-old girl. c'est la vie.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!

ah, how i love the 50% irish blood running through my veins.

it started at rira's at 9 a.m. and is continuing throughout the day. have a good one... :)

C.N.G. is invading our territory today.

:) why do i not mind being at work this afternoon?

just caught a gimpse of my reflection in the window--my hair is finally getting long.

rock.

saw part of the mlk talent show...while i didn't get to see the "knights of fire" gang, i did get to see the annual shaun d. dance number and angelo's annual dance tribute to female pop stars...i had tears in my eyes from the laughter

so the howie thing...shawn called me and i explained the situation to him. in the week we're looking to hold the concert, there is one, possibly two dates howie would be able to play. he's going to be in touch with howie and see if he's interested in playing, shawn mentioned that howie's been wanting to get back up in the area, so hey, that might be good. i was very honest with him--i told him that as far as money goes, we're starting from scratch, and, while we'd love to have howie play the show, if it works out scheduling-wise, it's all going to come down to money. shawn seemed cool about it, so maybe the howie camp will pleasantly surprise me. i was very happy after the phone conversation, so i should know early next week.

it would be so nice to be able to know i have someone to perform...so, so nice...but i digress.

so i'm back at the f for another friday night...t had said that it was going to be busy tonight, but j said there's not much going on...one of the biggest things we had to track down was the agate for the EHSS championship, but i've already had it faxed to us and typed it up...so i'll relax and wait for the phones to ring?

heard back from shawn--maybe this howie/benefit pairing will happen? i'm hoping...

my mother made a rather humorous remark earlier this afternoon, and i think i will apply it to future posts concerning the editorial/vickie-bashing debacle...she made a reference to mary j. blige's "no more drama," joking that whenever i walk into a room, the young & the restless song should be automatically start playing somewhere.

therefore, any future posts about this will be prefaced by "*cue Y&R theme*"

damn, i need sleep. :)

To the Saint Michael’s Campus Community,

I am writing this letter in response to the editorial published in the Defender regarding the Shaun Bryer and Mariusz Misiaszek campaign for SA President and Vice President. I am tired of the negative publicity that the Bryer/Misiaszek campaign is receiving by members of this community, specifically our campus media, and feel the need to offer a different, more justifiable opinion.

I was very disturbed by the manner in which D Executive Editor V chose to offer her negative support and questions regarding the integrity of Bryer and Misiaszek to the entire campus. These libelous words were publicized without having contacted the two candidates who have been the subject of public mockery and insult for the past month. This lack of communication gave neither Bryer nor Misiaszek an opportunity to offer explanation or defense against the accusations that V brought forth in her editorial. And so, yet again, are these two candidates left with more opposition from the campus that they wish to represent and help to make a difference for the future.

My question is this: Why do people on this campus feel the need to attack candidates who are trying to change our student government for the better? Furthermore, how can a media resource that shows such extreme bias against certain candidates be at all justifiable in their professional role as journalists on this campus? I personally feel that many inaccurate assumptions were made related to the integrity of the beliefs and goals of Bryer and Misiaszek in their campaign and, more importantly, to who they are as individual members of this campus community.

Allegations that Bryer promoted his own presidential campaign and neglected his responsibilities as SUPC Co-Chair by not justly advertising the election process to other possible candidates are erroneous. Not only did Bryer and fellow SUPC Co-chair Chris Carolan advertise the election process through email and the SA meetings, they provided a detailed outline of the entire election process on the nomination forms that the candidates picked up in the SA office prior to collecting signatures from fellow students. Perhaps if the Defender had a representative present at the SA meetings instead of a proxy, this misunderstanding could have been avoided.

With regards to the controversy surrounding Misiaszek’s resignation from his position on the e-board last month, many assumptions have been made concerning his reliability for the future. I will point out that his decision to step down from his position was a difficult one and that much contemplation was placed into his letter to the campus community. Misiaszek was looking to make a difference and felt that his association with the current e-board was not as effective as it could have been and therefore left to prepare for possible future endeavors. Misiaszek simply decided that it was time for his voice to be heard and that he no longer wished to be associated with the executive board this year. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you feel is right, especially when you are a majority of one.

I have the utmost respect for both Bryer and Misiaszek, not only as candidates for the SA executive positions, but also as two very respectable and hard-working young men who I have the honor of calling friends. I am deeply disheartened by the way that some of the members of the campus community that they both love and are working so hard for have turned so harshly against them. I myself considered running for office, but decided against it because I truly feel that both Bryer and Misiaszek have the initiative to accomplish their goals and change the Student Association. Therefore, I chose to postpone my own possible candidacy for future elections and to give Bryer and Misiaszek my full support in their campaign for the elections this year.

Finally, to the student population of Saint Michael’s, I ask that you to let your voice be heard on March 20th and 21st. As members of the student association, we all have the right to elect representatives who will be there for us and listen to our concerns and ideas. Where I believe that Bryer and Misiaszek are in fact the best candidates for the positions they seek, I can only ask that our community finally unite and elect a president and vice president who will work together for us and make a difference for our campus community.

Thank you,
A Concerned Student

if you have the guts to send something like that (from an off-campus email address, no less, thus playing upon exactly one of the points i criticized in the editorial), at least have the courage to post your name. i give the other girls props for standing behind what they had to say. this is just cowardice.

i stand behind what i wrote 100%. as the editor of the defender, i am open to any comments that students want to make about what i wrote. but don't think that throwing around accusations of me being libelous or slanderous (at least C.S., as i will call the nameless one got the terminology right and spelled my name correctly) is going to get me to take back what i said or aplogozie to anyone.

not guh--not gunna do it. not guh--not gunna do it...

and, my response to C.S. :

"Concerned Student":

I am dropping a line to encourage you to forward your campus-wide email to defender@smcvt.edu. As editor of The Defender, I enjoy seeing discussion about any content in the newspaper--editorial content or otherwise--and would like to be able to put your letter in the "Letters To The Editor" section in our next issue. All letters should be submitted by noon tomorrow. Please feel free to forward the email to the staff account.

Please keep in mind, however, that our policy states we will not run anonymous letters. Therefore, if you do send it to the newspaper, include a name and class year.

Thank you for reading The Defender.

Sincerely,
V

a quote for the evening: "Once we start worrying too often or too deeply about what certain individuals and what certain groups think about us, then we might start selling our souls for the sake of expediency. I suggest if that day ever comes, then the press has had it. -- Otis Chandler, publisher of the Los Angeles Times, 1969"

a flyer ciruclated in a table drop in alliot this morning:

THIS CONCERNS YOU...

We feel it is imperative that you know the truth. Who is V to say that the Bryer/Misiaszek campaign is quote "polished and slick"? Knowing Shaun and Mariusz on a personal level, we know that they are only in this for the good of the S.A. Unlike V, the executive editor of TD, we are voting members of the Student Association, and have never missed a meeting. Who is she to say that, "when you look past the smiles and slogan, their actions indicate otherwise"? What you see is what you get, simple as that. This being said, we believe that Mariusz's resignation from the E-board was completely justified. Circumstances being what they are, we would have resigned as well. Obviously if Shaun and Mariusz are elected as President and Vice President of the Student Association, then Mariusz would have no need to walk away again. Hopefully the S.A. will then be about important issues as opposed to petty arguments that stem from personal issues. Almost every issue is nothing but a personal attack.

Furthermore, we would like to clear up some false information that was published in TD, "two recent campaign posters showed sophmoric humor, playing off the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal and the recent Shaun Anderson S.A. scandal". First of all, the posters are funny and they bring fun into campaigning. We are college students and enjoy humor. The fact of the matter is that it's not about the posters, it's a personal attack. In regard to the latter poster, in what way is the poster a slanderous attack against the Shaun D. S.A. scandal? If V did her research, she would know that the Shaun D. scandal pertained to events that he held for Founder's Hlal, not the socials. Just thought you'd like to know the truth on that one.

And, if she read her e-mail, she would have received e-mails from Shaun regarding campaign dates, etc. In fact, Shaun handed out flyers during an S.A. meeting that the members were supposed to hang up in their dorm area. Our are on our door!

Shaun and Mariusz do have our interests at heart. Their actions make it clear that they focus on the whole student body, not just themselves. If you look past all the slanderous attacks, then maybe you'll realize that.

Sincerely,
***Names of authors--(I'm witholding them here)***

this is bloody fantastic!!!! while people on campus were concerned about what my reaction to this would be, i'm thrilled beyond belief. why, you ask? it means that the newspaper really is affecting people. and people are reading it. if people didn't read the paper this week before, they will now. and there's a dialogue that's opening up. beautiful!

i'm not angered by this at all. the only things i take slight note of is the fact that my name is spelled incorrectly (my name in all Defender features is v, but if i did use my nickname, it would be v short, not the misspelling that is printed in the flyer), and i don't like someone saying i was slanderous. opinion page. editorial. OPINION. there was nothing slanderous in the editorial whatsoever. and i'm not crazy about the fact that the letter insinuates that i called the shaun poster slanderous. i did not. i said it was a cheap joke.

so, after laughing a lot, talking with a few people, and calling home to tell my parents how fantastic this is, i naturally emailed the girls.

Re: THIS CONCERNS YOU...

I was given a copy of your letter to the student body today and thought I would drop a line to encourage you to submit a copy via email to defender@smcvt.edu for the "Letters to the Editor" section in next week's issue of The Defender. Discussion about the issues, particularly something like the S.A. election is important and I would like to see it in the newspaper.

By the way, my nickname is spelled "Vickie." Just a little FYI for you.

Thank you and hope to see the letter submitted,

V

not exactly the reaction i figured they'd be looking forward to. :)

i cannot wait to show this to paul. and a copy is certainly going up on my door.

THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!!!!

bwahahahahaha.

oh, free press story looks great! i was thrilled to see it with a huge headline and photos...looks like i know what i'm doing! got an email from buff regarding it...she closed it with "You go girl!" heehee...she's adorable. :)

WHAT A BLOODY FANTASTIC DAY!!!!!!

response to my latest editorial in The Defender has been interesting, to say the least. i've been pleased by the compliments i've been given, and i'm glad to know that colby didn't read into part of it the wrong way (he called over to me across campus while i walked to work to tell me he thought i wrote a nice piece--i made sure to tell him i wasn't trying to slam him or any other e-board members, and he said he didn't read it that way whatsoever). apparently someone is passing an editorial about my editorial around the cafeteria today--i want to be able to grab a copy of it and see what this girl has to say. i think it's great that dialogue is opening up about what i wrote--in many respects, isn't that what a newspaper is supposed to do?

my chill story ran on the front page of the living section in the f today...i'm actually pleased with it, seeing how it looks on the page. it was a struggle to write, but hey, i don't think i did too badly with it. and i'm not going to lie about it--it's neat seeing my story with a big ol' headline and photos and a jump to another page! revel...revelrevel...

note how i mentioned i might nap after my last post?

well, i most certainly did not. stayed up all night and then hopped on a plane to nyc shortly before seven a.m. i had to be searched at burlington--that whole handheld metal detector device is slightly intimidating. the national guardsmen packing heat were exceptionally intimidating.

but we hopped on the plane and flew off to new york. well, laguardia, anyway. then we hopped on a bus and rode to new york. our bus driver only almost hit a big truck once (translation: very safe ride into the city). i knew the skyline (or absence in the skyline, as the case may be) would shake me, but it was very surreal. felt like i wasn't really seeing it properly (but then again, that might have been because i was remarkably loopy due to sleep-deprivation).

trying to follow a bus' progress in the city is next to impossible. we knew we had to get to times square, so i made a decision and got us off the bus as we stopped at columbia. short subway ride got us to the square, and we walked the tiny distance to the good ol' ny times. want to talk about an intellectual orgasm for a journalism major? walk into that building, walk up to the desk, say your name, and have the front desk person ask you to just wait over there, she'll take you upstairs shortly. erica and i stood there, amazed that we were spending the morning in such an amazing place.

the whole colloquium bit was decent--we mainly sat around listening to people talk about how we, as editors, have the right to excercise editorial review when it comes to advertisements and op-ed pieces. um...yes, paging captain obvious. captain obvious, please respond... but there were good points raised, and i did learn some surprising facts about people who try to target college newspapers in the hopes of getting ridiculously controversial pieces run. and i was humbled (almost a smidge more than i would have liked) by my fellow editors and the newspapers they run. crikey...to be running a daily newspaper right now would be insane...granted they have huge staffs and only have to oversee, but still...

i only started to fall asleep once, but everything was ridiculously hazy and my body felt fuzzy the whole time. i seriously felt like i was drunk or something. odd feeling. note to self: never not sleep the night before an interview! just sitting in a room and only occasionally participating was hard.

we met the publisher, which was cool. he gave closing remarks and i was impressed by his convictions, logic and sense of humor. while some editors were walking up afterwards and asking him all these questions or asking for autographs and/or other forms of sucking up, erica and i walked up to him, introduced ourselves, shook his hand and thanked him for the opportunity to attend. he seemed surprised (i'd like to think pleasantly) that we weren't joining the masses in hanging onto his every word.

afterwards, we had a couple hours to kill before getting back to laguardia, so we went to ground zero. we didn't get on the viewing platform, but we were right there, across the street from it all. it hasn't hit me yet that i was there, that i saw the building ripped open, that i saw the space where the towers were (where the towers i always adored were), that all of the signs, flowers, flags, candles, and letters were for people who died there. well, obviously i know that they were there for that purpose, but knowing that i was at a site where thousands of people had lost their lives exactly six months ago...odd. humbling. surreal. but i'm glad i was there, especially making my first trip back on that day. i took pictures of it all--for three reasons. 1) photo of the week material for defender 2) so i had a record of my own of what i saw and 3) so i didn't have to process it all. seeing the photographs will be just as hard as being there.

i wanted to see the tribute of light...we walked right by the structures with the lights set up, but, as it was daylight, well...you do the math. we were riding on the train out to queens at dusk, and the skyline was breathtakingly beautiful. the sky around the city was turning into an inky indigo color, but the sky seen between the buildings and in a halo above them was still turquoise, a little gold around the edges. the chrystler building was lit up, and others were just starting to become lit. it was absolutely gorgeous. i was watching it, waiting for the switch to be hit and the towers to light, but it turns out they were lit shortly after we lost view of the skyline. and, while i hoped to see it from the plane as we left, that area was directly behind the plane as we flew away. so i didn't get to see it. but, with everything else i'd seen throughout the day, that was fine. i was content.

now, i offer advice. never, ever ever ever fly twice in one day. i do not know how businesspeople can do it. i felt like i was living in a fucking airport.

always give appreciation to the subway. beautiful, beautiful thing.

do look up when you are leaving the subway. we passed a poem of sorts when leaving times square. on the beams above our heads appeared a series of signs. the put together the following: "overslept. so tired. late for work. i'll be fired. why bother? so much pain. go back home. do it again." it made me chuckle.

do be nice to people when asking for directions. everyone we spoke to was fantastic. the men and women of the NYPD earned even more of my appreciation when they were so damn nice to us, particularly on what had to have been an emotional day. and the guy at the shop gave us free postcards. ;)

do sleep the night before such an adventure.

ok, time to write a story for f.

yeah, so the whole "maybe i'll nap" concept doesn't look like it'll be happening.

in an hour, i'm supposed to have woken up. in two hours, i will be meeting up with matt & erica so we can drive to fair burlington airport. in just under four hours, i will be on the plane heading to fair gotham. in just under eight hours, i will be at the new york times. in just under thirteen hours, i will be leaving the new york times. in just under fifteen hours, i will be arriving at laguardia. in just under seventeen hours, i will be heading back to vermont.

in case you can't tell, coherency isn't exactly a strong suit right now. maybe i will nap for an hour.

sometimes i am far too pathetic. for instance, spending a good half hour trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow at the conference, thus tormenting beth and michelle with ridiculous questions and fears. an example: "see, i'm supposed to wear subtle colors. and this is subtle. but i'm worried that camel is a little too spring for this time of year. and i haven't polished these shoes."

i need to get a reality check. this is not a job interview. this is a conference. i will not be working at the new york times after graduation. i need to put aside fears about scuffed shoes, finish typing my resume, and have fun tomorrow! and keep in mind that i look good and camel is perfectly appropriate in early spring.

ah...i cannot believe how much i have to accomplish today...to think that i will be in fair gotham at this time tomorrow...

i roughly tallied my internship hours thus far and found myself somewhere in the 90 ballpack.

sweeeeeeet.

byline week for me: today (well, technically, yesterday), tomorrow (well, technically, today) and thursday (well, technically, thursday).

i'm upstairs...and all i need in life is a wee lil bit of salsa con queso and chips to go to bed...but i don't feel like i can go downstairs to get said nourishment...my bed looks so comfy...but without salsa con queso, bad things may happen and i won't be in good shape tomorrow...but i don't want to interrupt...aurgh...

so...

i'm at work.

ted asked me to come in early because i was doing an advance for the championship games tomorrow. as he put it, "we'll get you in early and get you out early."

so...

i'm still at work.

everyone but paginator guys is covering a game somewhere. so that leaves me and mike (mike the wonder intern boy) to handle the calls. i don't mind, i'm just a little on the tired side. and i had to do all the agate for the skiing championships out in alaska, and frankly, it was a bit straining on the eyes.

i'd like to ask to head home early, but i don't want to look like a pain...it's just that i'm going to be going to barre tomorrow for the division 2 game, and that means i'm leaving earlier than i normally do and, therefore, putting in more hours at work, and considering that i'm putting in extra hours tonight and i have a lot of work to do before monday...it would be nice to be able to duck out early...

i just want to be able to enjoy a friday night like all the other 21-year-olds in this damn city!!!!!!

ok, my whining is finished.

hahahahaha...john has a music video...i don't want to sound mean. obviously, much as i'm disappointed with his apparent choices now, i'm a john fan. and i'm not slamming the video...i suppose what's so interesting is seeing the first music video for someone i can't believe actually HAS a music video...it's crazy. he's just supposed to be playing shows. it's too odd to see all these transitioning shots and closeups of his face and shots of fans buying tickets and all that.

it's odd to see him getting bigger!

apparently this is payback for all the times i've cursed my desire to be a journalist. and how sweet the payback is! *knock on wood*

tonight i'm going to see tom wicker in the international commons. wicker is a pretty big name in journalism--new york times, reported from dallas about the jfk assassination--he's got amazing stories and i'm incredibly excited about being able to listen to him and perhaps speak to him afterwards. it'll be cool to speak to someone who has done so much for the field and has been a witness to some of the major events in recent american history...

monday is new york day. plane tickets have been purchased, erica and i are set to go. i'll only grumble a little about having to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. at the latest--i have no problems with being awake at 4 a.m., but it's generally because i haven't slept yet, forget waking up that early...a conference at the new york times, then a couple hours to kill in the city before heading back to laguardia for the flight back to burlington. an opportunity to be in the new york times, a chance to meet with other college journalists and make some connections (much as i hate that word because i feel like i'm a corporate shark whenever i use the word). it's a little nerve-wracking to be flying in and out of the city on the six-month anniversary...but making my first trip to the city since before 9-11 will probably be eerie, especially on that day. it looks like we'll be there for the first showing of the "towers of light", which i'm glad i'll be able to witness. well, not glad per se, but i'd like to think you know what i mean. considering that i tend to be a sentimental sap, i think being there on that day will mean a lot to me.

tuesday it looks like i'll be going along with burlington-area kids for chill--a program sponsored by burton snowboards and mitsubishi motors. basically, kids are given the chance to snowboard at bolton mountain for free and learn to ride. it sounds like a cool program, and i'll be writing a piece on it. i spoke with maggie, the head of the program, and she's thrilled that i'm covering it and matt said i could go crazy with the story. i'll ride to bolton with everyone, talk to kids, talk with the coordinators, and they even said i could give boarding a shot myself, which i'm super excited about! i'm sure i'll break myself, but hey, what the hell, it'll be fun.

things are busy, but good busy, and i feel happy that i'm accomplishing things. i called howie's management today and left a voicemail for shawn, so i'm hoping to find out if howie would be able to play at the concert. if not, one of the people from don law said she's got a bunch of artists who would work really well, so maybe we'll be able to even book one of them for a reasonable price and have a good time.

so now i just need to get my defender stuff done, work on my review to send in to ACTF, and make sure i get rest sunday night so i'm not a zombie on monday. crikey!

i just realized that i'll be in new york on the six-month anniversary of 9/11.

never, ever mess with me while john is supervising a shift!

during my user support shift from hell the other day, a professor asked for copier paper, so i went and got him some. the secretary wasn't there, i wasn't doing anything at the time, so i thought i'd be nice. however, the copier was fucking up and jamming. so i tried helping a little bit because i'm nice like that. and it was right at the end of my shift, so i thought i'd end the day on a high note. this professor wouldn't get it through his head that the copier wasn't working properly, and i told him that i wasn't overly knowledgable about the machinery because it doesn't fall under user support supervision. nonetheless, he tells me that he needs these copies and has to start class, so tells me that if i could do my best with getting the copies for him, he'd be back in about ten minutes to get them and walks away. i felt like i was about an inch tall and i was pissed off--though, admittedly, a lot of that aggression had to do with the fact that everyone and his cousin was pissing me off by that point.

i went back into the office and groaned to john about it, and he went apeshit--yet again showing why he is such a kicass boss. little did i know that he was going to make sure that didn't happen again. as he put it, "i don't think anyone who works here should have to put up with that shit, particularly you!"

ah, they look out for me.

must call child travel for plane stuff and howie's management for booking prices today before going to the f. tom wicker is going to be on campus tonight, and i hope to be able to go see him--he sounds fascinating.

random note for the day: nothing better than being curled up in bed, having a late-night phone conversation.

i know, i'm pathetic. shush.

proctor high alert, proctor high alert! an interview with andrew sutherland about his new album. go androo...

February 22, 2002
Not Wanted: '02 Graduates Seeking JobsBy LYNNLEY BROWNING

BOSTON — When the millions of students who are set to graduate from college this spring started out in the late 1990's, the stock market was on a bull run and the dot- com frenzy was in full swing. At colleges across the country, career-services offices fashioned makeshift interview booths to accommodate the companies on a hiring binge.

Fresh-faced 22-year-olds commanded signing bonuses of $10,000 or more. People with bachelor's degrees in engineering or computer science often had a dozen job offers, some with six-figure salaries. Liberal arts majors found plenty of opportunities, too, working for Internet companies and consulting and financial firms.

Those heady times are gone. With the economy still struggling, layoffs increasing and corporate America wary about the near future, students who complete their undergraduate degrees this year face the worst job market for college graduates in nearly a decade.

"It's not like people even want a job in their major — they just want a job," said Sakara A. Bey, a senior at Tufts University who is majoring in engineering psychology. "It's become a prize possession."

Amid a severe retrenchment in hiring that began last summer, said Marilyn F. Mackes, executive director of the National Association of Colleges and Employers, "the job candidate is no longer calling the shots." The association calls this year's job market the tightest for graduating seniors since 1994, when companies began hiring again — slowly — after the 1990-91 recession.

Ms. Mackes estimated that there would be 20 to 25 percent fewer jobs for students who graduate with bachelor's degrees this year, typically in May or June. That does not surprise Nathan I. Perlis, 21, a biology and Judaic studies major at Tufts, who has long planned to go to medical school. "Out of 20 friends, I have one who actually has a job," he said in December, about two months after the peak recruiting season at most colleges. "A lot aren't even looking because they know it's so hard."

At Boston University, barely 50 companies came to a two-day recruiting fair in October, compared with about 100 the previous year, said Richard A. Leger, director of career services at the university. Many companies had just instituted hiring freezes, he said, and even those that showed up were, in many cases, there simply to maintain a presence on the campus. Among the no-shows at a B.U. off-campus job fair last month in New York, he said, were Ogilvy & Mather, the advertising agency, and Zenith Media, a communications company that is part of the Zenith Optimedia Group.

Recruiters may not return soon. In January, the unemployment rate was 5.6 percent, the highest level since April 1995. The unemployment rate for college graduates who are 25 or older nudged down to 2.9 percent last month from 3.1 percent in December — the highest level since April 1993, according to the Bureau for Labor Statistics. Economists expect jobless figures to continue to rise, although at a slower pace. Layoffs have been pronounced in the financial services, consulting, manufacturing and technology industries. Particularly hard hit has been the travel industry.

"You send companies e-mail messages and they say `We're on hold,' or you never hear back," Mr. Leger said. "It's like we're the ones having to do the recruiting."

Michael J. Walsh Jr., B.U.'s director of career services for engineering students, said 34 companies pledged to come to a job fair for engineering majors earlier this month, compared with 59 companies last year. Seven of the companies agreed to come after Mr. Walsh waived the $250 participation fee for them.

Worse, only 12 companies, mostly military contractors, have signed up to recruit B.U. engineering students this spring, compared with 20 last year. While Mr. Walsh would not name companies that had dropped out, he said they included major computer and software concerns and struggling or defunct dot-coms.

The drought has spurred him to cold-call prospective employers and scan local help-wanted ads for leads.

But such efforts may not bear fruit for another six months. Philip D. Gardner, director of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute at Michigan State University, said that most of the 290 companies surveyed by the institute in October were likely to resume hiring in the summer when students are not on campus and are hard to track down.

FleetBoston Financial, the large bank based in Boston, said it planned to hire only about half as many new graduates this year, mostly as financial analysts and loan officers, according to James E. Mahoney, a spokesman. He noted, though, that last year was a record hiring year for the company. EMC, a data storage company based in Hopkinton, Mass., about 35 miles west of Boston, plans to reduce its hiring of fresh graduates this year by half, to several hundred people, said Greg Eden, a spokesman.

Not all companies are closing their doors. Gillette, which has headquarters in Boston and makes a range of personal goods besides razors, will hire 13 new graduates to start in late spring, one fewer than last year, said Stephen K. Brayton, a spokesman.

The sudden shift in the job market has led students to plan for futures they never envisioned. That may not necessarily be bad, though.

"I'm looking at Teach for America and FEMA," said Adam D. Babin, 21, an advertising major at B.U., referring to a high-school teaching program and the government's emergency-management agency. "Everyone's either going to do something unrelated to their major or move back home."

Around a dozen undergraduates interviewed at Tufts and Boston University late in December said the dwindling number of jobs was also prompting many of them to apply to graduate school in their disciplines or to law school. The Law School Admission Council, an industry organization in Newtown, Pa., said that as of Jan. 26, applications to law school from people of all ages were up 25.2 percent over last year.

But more schooling is not an attractive option to Pavan Pant, 21, an engineering and computer systems major at B.U. "A lot of kids simply don't want to go to grad school after four years in college," Mr. Pant said. He is hoping that his internship last summer at I.B.M. will lead to a job at the company but he does not yet have an offer.

Compounding their troubles, many seniors will have sizable student loans to pay off after graduation. David S. Stein, a clinical psychology major at Tufts with $20,000 in student loans, said he hoped to land an $18,000-a-year job at a home for troubled children and families in Needham, Mass. But if he gets that job, he said, he will have to live with his parents, ask them for money and take out more loans.

Other students said they were scrambling for part-time internships that might become full-time paying jobs. Jean M. Papalia, director of career services at Tufts, said approximately 100 students participated over winter break in one- to two- week internships arranged by the university at local companies and organizations, up from 70 the previous year. The number of companies recruiting at Tufts last fall was much lower, she said, though she could not provide details.

Mr. Gardner of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute said that many engineering and computer science majors would probably receive at least one offer. But starting salaries will not be as stratospheric as in years past. The average high- end salary for computer science majors has fallen from around $65,000 to the low $50,000's, Mr. Gardner said.

Liberal arts majors are finding the job market particularly tough.

Amanda K. Bronesky, 21, a senior majoring in international relations and Spanish at Tufts, said she was crushed when EF Education, a language school company based in Cambridge, Mass., dropped out of a Tufts career fair in October. But Ms. Bronesky said she hoped to land an internship, paid or unpaid, at Explorica, an educational exchange company in Boston. Her backup plan is to live with her parents in Denver, and work as a waitress.

"Before the economy got bad, jobs were just given to students," said Ms. Bey, the Tufts senior, whose plan is to apply to graduate programs in engineering psychology. "Now the companies are saying, `Come and find me.' "

oh goody.

argh. looking for flights from burlington to new york. i can't really consider driving because i have to be down there by 11 a.m., but it's hard to find a flight that fits into such a tight schedule. looks like the only one that works is over $300. i don't want to have to take a lot from the budget to pay for it, but i suppose if that's my only real expense...(plus the return flight would perhaps be late enough for me to slip up to the top of the empire state building--i've never been to new york without stopping there and i don't really want to break the tradition...hmm.)

new york in six days. new york times. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"no such thing" is being played at EQX. it's official, the boy is making it if he's even reached vermont.

good lord.

people are being morons this afternoon at work--people calling in for help but refuse to listen to the help i try to give them. i'm not just saying all of this stuff to hear myself talk...i'm trying to give people tips for next time. so shut up and listen to me!

tonight i learn how to wire stories into the f from remote so i can cover boys' championship games on saturday. whee!

clinton is cool. i hope we can meet up in d.c.

that is all. now i read for my various classes. oy.

I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?

i ate a fortune cookie this evening that had three fortunes inside. not one, not two, but three. i am very pleased by my fortuntes:

- you will be happy be receipt of good news.
- stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
- a cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.

happy happy...revel, revelrevel.

What Sex Toy Are You?

words cannot describe how exhausted i am.

oy.

seems we're not alone in feeling frustrated/disappointed with the lupo's show...quite a few long-time fans appear to be dealing with conflicting emotions about john's success.

ok, off to burlington.

i got tonight off--ted said there was nothing on the schedule, so i was able to relax at home and visit with my parents...good times.

three things of note:

- heard back from clint. we're going to give this whole meeting up thing another shot when i'm in d.c.

- i will be going to a colloquim held in the newsroom of the new york times. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- i miss you too joey! :)

my mother taped the west wing last night. i will now enjoy my hour of washington revelry.

my entire body ACHES. but what a trip it was...

we talked to lars monday night and set up how we'd be getting in touch when we got to providence. he was going to call us while we were on the road and direct us to somewhere where we could meet. he was going to get his ticket for john and his friend pete was thinking about coming as well. so everything is all set and i'm very excited to make the trip, see the show and have fun.

we didn't hear from him until around 6:30 because he got out of work late. normally, not much of a problem. however, since we'd arrived in providence around 5:15, michelle and i had spent an hour and twenty minutes driving all around the city. no rhyme or reason to where we went, just a random selection of streets. we stopped at "the best local market"--eastSIIIIIIDE marketplace--and finally wound up at a wendy's. we met up with lars around 7:30ish at the providence place mall and headed to pete's house before the show.

lars hadn't bought his ticket. pete was still undecided about the show. and when i called lupo's to see if there were still tickets available, it was sold out. but lars said he knew someone down there who might be able to let him in, so we all piled in the car and drove down.

of all the luck, pete knew someone who could let him in, but lars couldn't. so, after a bit of "well, err...what should we do?" deliberations, they said they were going to hang out in town and would meet us around 12:30.

john was disappointing. severely disappointing. i don't like him with the band and i don't like feeling like he's becoming a rock star. michelle and i stood there for maybe two songs and decided that we'd try to catch the guys. the show wasn't good and we felt bad about leaving them, so we figured we could all just hang out. so we left lupo's (where it's clearly marked no re-entry) and ran to where the car had been parked--and now was no longer there.

so we don't know where the guys are, we can't get back into the show, and we are two college women in downtown providence alone at night. this was a concern. we walked down towards PPAC and found a bar called mama's and were trying to look inside to see if they were there and the bouncers were trying to convince us to come inside and told us that there was no way we'd be able to find the guys because there are a million bars right around that area (funny, we didn't see a million other bars...). we got away quickly and wound up going to the met cafe. paid our $5 cover, walked in and watched a set with a really unknown band. we were the only people there who weren't friends with the band members. but it's warm and dry in there (because, naturally, it was raining a bit outside) and we had something to do to kill time until meeting up with lars and pete.

but the guitarist of the band freaks out after two songs and walks offstage, yelling that it's pointless, why should they bother, rockstar angst angst angst rage rage rage. so they end the set and we have to leave.

now we're down $5 each, we still have an hour to kill and we don't know where to go. so we walk back to lupo's and explain to the bouncer that we're aware of the no re-entry policy, but we've come down from vermont, our ride isn't due back until the end of the set, we just witnessed the breakup of a band and we haven't gotten a break ALL NIGHT. would he please just let us back in?

after grumbling about how he should punish us for listening to bad music, he let us back in and we chilled at the bar for the rest of the set with mcclane, a guy who works for abercrombie and is on the lookout for new music. michelle started to talk to him by asking for a cigarette and we wound up talking to him for the rest of the show. awesome guy--funny, hot and a sweetheart to two girls he's just met. we wound up giving him our email addresses and told him to drop us a line and we'll fill him in on more bands he'd like. amusement...

the show gets out at midnight, and we wait outside for a bit until it begins to rain. then we're huddled at the door to lupo's and we see lars and pete and proceed to tell them all about our adventure. lars' face was priceless--"you LEFT john mayer!??!?! what happened!?"

wound up going to a bar, drinking and talking about sports for awhile before heading back to pete's. good times.

the rest of the night was spent in drunken revelry, with some grand theft auto 3 thrown into the mix. we were all ridiculous--i wound up taking a shot of this fantastic german peppermint schnapps--and normally i have major problems with shots. but it went down beautifully and was really good (note to self: find this stuff). pete has the most adorable dog ever and it was fun to just relax and talk and have fun with everyone.

yes, it was very good to see lars. :)

we woke up around 9 this morning, after saying goodbyes, michelle and i drove back to quincy and then i drove back to vermont. i'm relaxing for a bit before i have to drive back to burlington. i'm exhausted and they SURE AS HELL BETTER APPRECIATE THIS!!!!!!! i think i'm crashing at school tonight and driving home tomorrow morning.

so all-in-all opinion of the rhode island road trip? despite all of the turmoil, i had a wonderful time. i don't know how michelle and i managed to keep our sanity and sense of humor, but we did. we wound up just laughing through it all, which was a relief. if she hadn't been there, i would have lost it numerous times! what a team, i tell you...fine holiday fun.

i like oatmeal.

hola from quincy land...

in fine "vickie visits" tradition, the past couple of days have been fantastic. michelle and i left st. mike's sunday and drove down to fair haven to say hello to my parental units, then drove to quincy. we busted out all of the classics (some truly classic--billy joel--and some not-so-classic--color me badd, anyone?--but old school janet definitely dominated) and spent the hours singing, laughing, and MAKING SURE NO ONE PASSED ME IN THE RIGHT-HAND LANE!

we spent last night hanging out at jess'--she's one of those people i'd love to be able to spend more time with. she's fantastic and so much fun--and also there to engage in some nice, serious discussion, then following it up with her recitations of slam poetry...it was a delightful evening.

went on the great quincy bar search tonight--went to four different places before we could actually get a drink at uno's...would have been able to go to the first bar if they accepted out-of-state licenses...grrrrrrrrrrrrr...

but it's been great fun. it's nice to be able to relax and have a good time...and michelle's fam has adopted the"you can do it yourself" rule for me, which makes me very, very happy. i'm a part of the family, and it feels great. :)

tomorrow will be a good time as well. we're heading down to providence and meeting up with lars before the show...his friend pete might witness all that is mayer as well...then staying at pete's house tomorrow night before we all head to our respective homes wednesday morning.

i have several wishes for the evening:

- i hope john's live show with a full band is as good as his solo shows...

- i hope everyone enjoys the show

- i hope michelle has a good time and knows how happy i am that she was up for a little rhode island adventure (yet another reason why she's one of the best friends in the world)

- i hope everyone has a great evening. :)

when i count down from ten
you'll feel the lead in your lids
you've no need to resist,
and wake up refreshed
hah!
--jeff buckley, haven't you heard?

john mayer sold out at higher ground. so instead of simply seeing him down the street from our school, we're driving 4.5 hours to see him! logical, eh?

actually, it works out really well. we're leaving tomorrow to see my parents, then continuing down to michelle's. spending time there, seeing some of michelle's friends and visiting with the fam (yay!), then heading to providence on tuesday and seeing the show and hanging out with lars. we won't be super rushed, and i wasn't overly keen on the idea of seeing john twice in two days anyway. i just thought it worked out well so it was something we should try. but i'm happier with how it appears to be working. :)

i am so impressed...joey created a blog! i am exceptionally impressed. :) now people will be able to see what crackheads we actually are...

to thank the sports department for everything we've done since patrick has been off galavanting at the olympics (still bitter i wasn't given the opportunity to go--hehehe), the managing editor of my fine place of non-paying employment paid for us all to get dinner tonight, so we ordered from bourbon st. grill. i'd always wanted to try the stuff there, so i was psyched. i ordered my cajun chicken sandwich and crawford asked me how spicy i wanted it.

"how spicy does it get?"

"1 to 10. 1 is tame, 10 is eyes bulge out of the sockets tongue is on fire."

now i like spicy stuff. and i figured that there's no way it can really be ridiculously spicy, so i went with a 7. i thought it would be safe but still spicy enough to give me a kick.

i took a bite and a half of this thing and pretty much downed my pepsi. then went to fill my bottle with water. tongue is still on fire and my face feels all flushed.

i think a 4 would have been more than enough for me, let alone a 7. so now i'm eating the roll and the lettuce (but only the spots without any spicy sauce on it). if i actually had any taste buds left, i'd be sure that the sandwich is quite good and i highly recommend it.

work has been going remarkably well the past couple of days (trust me, i knocked on wood after typing that). everyone's in good spirits, i feel like i'm not constantly waiting for myself to mess up and people have been really great on the phones. carlton down at the herald is great--i like it when i talk to someone again and they remember who i am and are really friendly.

met jj cioffi at the rice/cvu game today (yes, the game that just about everyone agrees rice should have won, joey, including the cvu players) and he seemed pretty nice. it's always rather odd meeting these people--i've watched jj since i was a little kid and feel like i know the guy even thought i obviously don't--but he was nice enough to me, so i guess it was cool. and i got to take a look at the gutterson fieldhouse rink from one of the press boxes, which was cool--hey, little things make me happy, so shut up. ;)

i technically have four more hours of work before i'm finished (but we've already heard from most of the high school games and i think all we'll be waiting on is hockey--which crawford's covering--and the mayflower semis down south, so maybe--hopefully--i'll get out early) and then it's relax until john mayer on monday. i spoke to my father while my mouth was on fire and he told me he and my mother were going to visit on monday around 7 p.m. and take me out to dinner. since, as i said, my mouth was on fire, i responded with "ok, sounds great, looking forward to it." my parents then laughed about how their daughter is a moron. i responded with "dude, my mouth is on fire--do you think i have any coherent thoughts right now?!?!?"

you can always judge how much work i have to do by the amount of blogging i do...

on behalf of all journalists and journalists-in-training, i need to say that this is absolutely wretched.

this goes to show that not even journalists are invincible. talking to my mother on the phone, she made sure to talk about how i should learn from this.

ah yes, only a few months til i'm out there too...not pakistan, but out there nonetheless...

i love the fact that, in the midst of all this "scandal" at our school, people try to paint the defender (and, at times, yours truly) as the villain in all this. because we strive to reach the standards of "real news" we're constantly blasted for not reporting, we are criticized. hmm...this presents a dilemma. do we cover the real news or do we stick with fluff? we're criticized either way...

i'm not upset by any means. in fact, i'm actually proud, in my own backwards way. we've managed to shed light on things no one really expected us to be able to shed light on. people are talking about the defender and are getting pissed off about it, but that means it's affecting them. people are paying attention.

not too shabby.

"what is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?--it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. but we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."

yesterday turned into the "v rebellion day," although i did not intend for it to be quite as complete as it was. i woke up around 1 and spent almost the entire day at home with a body that felt like lead and no desire to do much of anything. i called all of my professors and left voicemails, and they called back to tell me i sounded horrible and should rest. so i did.

and, even though i felt rather stupid afterwards, it felt nice to call someone simply to say hello and say that i was alone in my house, sick, bored, and wanting to talk. :)

i'm currently racing through "on the road." i don't know why i didn't read it sooner--it's absolutely brilliant. there was one passage where sal and dean are rushing from virginia to new york to virginia again and everything's going at a fever pitch. while i was reading it, i was trying to race through the text, make some ramen (hey, it was 12:30 at night and i was hungry) and do 12 things at once while reading, and the pace i was doing everything at fit so well with the pace of the book at that point--it was just awesome. kerouac's style is what i aspire to and think i can reach if i keep trying, but then he throws this imagery into the mix and has such an eloquent control of words and i'm left with my jaw hanging open (quite literally). absolutely gorgeous. i'm going to read this again sometime when i can just settle down and soak it all in.

break begins for me after literary seductions tomorrow. i feel like it's already begun--we're watching film clips, it's not like it'll be a strenuous class--and all i have to do is get through the f and relax before the mini-roadtrip with michelle. this weekend we're planning the trip and we're also planning our european adventure after graduation. i'm especially excited about the idea of europe right now, with my whole kerouac-ian frame of mind...

but speaking of europe...when we get back from break, the eric boy will be off to live in scotland. today is the last day i'll be working with him here at fair user support...i'm obviously very happy for him about scotland, but he's made work all the more enjoyable lately--we're getting along famously and he's fun to have in the office. work will be much duller without him around. but i think everyone knew he'd go back to scotland at some point--i first met him after he came back from studying over there and you can just see him brighten up at the prospect of living there. it's going to be good for him.

at 1:46 a.m., i despise all of my professors for the workload they have piled on me. i curse the gods for making me feel sick, and i prepare to rebel tomorrow.

i sent an email clint's way to see if he's at all interested in meeting up when i'm in D.C. for ACTF...i figured it might be fun to try the whole "let's meet up" thing one more time--so this time we wouldn't just be playing phone tag all week! we'll see if i even hear anything back, but hey, worth a shot, right?

yet another example of how i have too much spare time on my hands while working at user support sometimes...

so.

paper is finished--i don't think there were any shockingly glaring errors anywhere--i tried so hard to get everything done, but i desperately need break. i feel like i'm on self-destruct mode with the pace i've been going at lately. yet i find it funny that i'm looking forward to a schedule of working at home during the day and working at the free press at night...?!??!

but i have two or three days of fun and relaxation. i get to see one of my favorite singers two days in a row, enjoying a mini-roadtrip with joey. :) it will be lots o' fun and i'm very much looking forward to it.

it's very nice to know that i have at least two weekends where i don't have to worry about the defender...ah...bliss, i tell you...

paper's not done yet, i must finish tomorrow. i've been running around all day doing journalistic stuff and i think i just need a few hours of rest so i can focus, crank out the rest of the paper, save it to disk and run it to the printer.

note on my computer when i came home: (BONZACK HAS A HUGE PROBLEM BECAUSE THIS EDITORIAL ISN’T GETTING WRITTEN BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY DROOLING OVER MY EASTERN GIANT OPERATION…) LOVE YOU SMOOTHIE- NIGHT, Princess Joey :P

i'm working on the editorial to end editorials for father mike and michelle. :)

paul was playing my secretary this evening...lars called the lab and paul answered it with something along the lines of "v's office"...i could get used to that kind of greeting on the phone. forget "hello, defender." :)

paper will be lovely, just need to sleep so i can finish making it lovely...aurgh.

i'm sitting here trying to write my editorial, and i'm going nuts. i've had two pretty decent editorials, so i feel like i can't falter now. only with the previous two, there was actually something i was interested in saying. this week, i'm not feeling overly impassioned about much of anything. and i do have an issue i'm trying to discuss, but it's just not coming out! the words are on the tip of my tongue, but they just refuse to go onto the page.

blearg. is it break yet?

speaking of break, the plans for the "vickie & michelle only slightly stalk john mayer" tour are in development. we will see him at higher ground on the 25th and head down to lupo's for the show on the 26th. i'm going to write a review of the higher ground show for the defender, which is good because i'll finally be able to write something for the paper and i'll also be practicing the review writing process...and then going to lupo's will be fun because it'll be a new place to check out and lars said we have to meet up.

yay...

i'm liking the new design on howie's site...sure as hell beats the really odd bubble/circle scheme howie was sporting recently. and the orange makes me happy.

i don't know exactly what it is that's changed. tonight i put on my long blue dress, last worn my sophomore year, to go to a formal/dress-to-impress/whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-it event. last time i wore this dress, i had a blast--dancing, socializing, just having a kickass time. but tonight was just another example of getting all dressed up with the hopes of having an amazing time and instead leaving disgusted and wishing i'd had more to drink. grr.

covered the high school gymnastics championship this evening over at uvm. definitely an...odd experience. but i covered it, and ted said i did a good job with the story, so hey, whatever. i've got full clearance to enjoy my fun miniroadtrip over break--yahoo...fun times. now i just have to find out how much tickets are at lupo's...

holy shit. the day before st. patty's day, remy zero is playing there. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW BADLY I WANT TO SEE REMY ZERO.

this must be looked into.

"i always say that after graduation i'm going to live in a box on the mean streets of burlington. you're welcome to join me if you wish."

"but we don't have any boxes!!!"

nothing like graduation talk...

i have some of the most hilarious professors imaginable. i don't know what the hell that was in my literary seductions class today--all i know is that it wound up being a discussion about english teachers training their students to read the way the professors want them to and then an opportunity for dogs and whales to be drawn on the blackboard by a professor. i was laughing so hard by the end of class but wondered afterwards, "what the hell was THAT?"

tgif. participating in happy hour this evening. mmm...my darling long island iced tea, how i've missed you...although i've also grown particularly fond of sour drinks. midori sour and amaretto sour are both now ranking high on my list of favorite beverages...

i'm glad i wore the red sneakers. :)

valentine's day didn't turn out so badly afterall.

valentine's day. bah humbug. ;) i wore black today, but, for those who are paying attention, i wore my red sneakers. i'm not completely bitter, just mostly. ;)

pat brought eclairs into work today and they are sitting

right
next
to
me, looking tasty. i'm not going to overindulge, even if it is v-day.

i signed my first official autograph today. rick printed out the press release and asked for my autograph because when i'm all famous and living in new york or cali, he wants to have my signature from back in the day. i laughed and signed it: to rick--my first autograph! don't you feel special? v.

it amused me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Which drink are you?

that is too perfect for words.

i just went for a walk around the academic buildings to check out some labs, and found myself standing in the portico right outside cheray. i stopped for a moment because the cold air felt great and helped wake me up a bit (three hours sitting at a computer waiting for phones to ring gets rather monotonous), and as i looked at the academic quad, it hit me that i'm graduating in exactly three months. and, while it's been on my mind constantly over the course of this year, it hit me that it feels (in some respects) like yesterday that i looked at the academic quad thinking that i would be spending four years on this campus. and how i couldn't imagine being here that long. the brick buildings were foreign to me and, because of that, they were intimidating. and i wondered who worked in the offices, who attended the classes and how things would turn out for me here.

now i realize that in approximately 90 days, i'm going to have to leave and find myself in a new environment of imposing buildings, unknown offices and people i've never met.

three months, and i don't have job prospects (yet), i have no idea of where i want to live, and the career choice i think i want to go into (theatre criticism) is one where there isn't really a big market unless i can crack into a paper in a city with a thriving theatre scene. or i can just do regular journalism, but i'm so exhausted with it (with d and f--i know i don't want to do sports) that it's not nearly as appealing as it used to be. maybe i just need a new scene and whatnot to get the thrill back, but because i've been editing, i haven't had a chance to really report anything for the past year and i wonder how many good stories i could have written in that span of time, instead of sitting in front of a computer fixing typos and lining boxes up in quark.

during a random little argument with my father last semester, he made a comment about how i'm too sensitive and that if i'm going to be a journalist, i need to develop a thicker skin. i shrugged it off at first because i knew he didn't mean i wasn't cut out to be a reporter, he was just mad. but the thought is in my head now, and i wonder if he was right. do i have what it takes to fight to get an interview? can i get into a story enough to spend hours researching a story? do i have what it takes?

i used to say yes without blinking, but now i'm not so sure. i know i've said it before, but i feel like i'm 21 going on 45, an old, jaded veteran of journalism. i need to get back into it again--find the reason i wanted to get into journalism in the first place. because right now, i'm just going from task to task, going through the motions to be done with my day so i can start it up again. i didn't even feel a big rush when i saw my byline in the f the second time--the first time, i admit, i really did, i thought that was snazzy.

what i think i need is to have one week where i just don't do anything with it. no defender, no f, no work. just a chance to relax, write whatever i want to write or not write if that's what i want to do. not have to answer questions for section editors, not have to meet a deadline for a story, not have to go to class.

break would be the obvious choice for such a time, but it's already looking rather hairy. it's right when basketball playoffs start up, ted wants me in the sportsroom as much as possible, i have to make money at home, and i have to plan for defender. and i really should be in the f because it'll help cut down on my hours i have to work for the magic 140--and, if i get those hours done early, as soon as i finish the necessary internship hours, t told me i can be completely done with the f so i can enjoy the last weeks of college.

so i think i'm going to compromise. i'm going to take a couple of days during break and be stupid and have fun. john mayer is going to be at higher ground on the 25th, then at lupo's in providence on the 26th--a monday and tuesday. so what i'm going to try to do is go to both shows--take off tuesday for a trip down to providence to catch the second show and, if things work out, try to meet up with lars? come back for work at the f wednesday, then work at home in the mornings and the f at night thursday friday and saturday. come back and relax on sunday, resume classes the following monday. i think that might be enough to give me a little sanity break but still help me get necessary work accomplished.

i was telling my mother while we chatted on the phone today, and she told me she thought it was a wonderful idea. i don't know what it is, but she has been so amusing as of late. she never would have viewed that favorably, but lately? it's a transformation. after the awards ceremony at ACTF, she told me to "go celebrate, drink a little and kiss a boy." the other day, she told me to "go party." and today? she's saying she approves of my thoughts of running around in a car to see a singer two nights in a row and driving hours because it'll be good for me?

ok, random stream-of-consciousness is over...

my exceptionally unscientific oscar predictions:

Best Picture: In the Bedroom, A Beautiful Mind, The Lord of the Rings, Gosford Park, Moulin Rouge
i'm going to go with LotR here. oscar voters love epics, and with 13 nominations, LotR has a lot of steam behind it. A Beautiful Mind might be close, but looking at the track record of voting, if it's a long movie with lots of extras, landscape shots and drama, oscar is likely. :) and because it was a kick-ass movie
Best Actor: Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind), Sean Penn (I Am Sam), Will Smith (Ali), Denzel Washington (Training Day), Tom Wilkinson (In the Bedroom)
russell crowe, no doubt. he's been winning everything, his performance has been given rave reviews by critics and the public alike, and voters love to be able to give back-to-backs.
Best Actress: Halle Berry (Monster's Ball), Judi Dench (Iris), Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge), Sissy Spacek (In the Bedroom), Renée Zellweger (Bridget Jones's Diary)
sissy spacek. while i haven't seen in the bedroom, so many people are so certain she'll win that i'm going to go along with their "expert" opinions. but part of me wishes it would go to either nicole or renee because i absolutely loved both their movies and their performances in said movies.
Best Supporting Actor: Jim Broadbent (Iris), Ethan Hawke (Training Day), Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast), Ian McKellen (The Lord of the Rings), Jon Voight (Ali)
where the hell did ethan hawke come from? he swooped in to steal hayden christensen's nomination (yes, i'm bitter). as far as i'm concerned, anyone but ethan can win. a lot of people are saying jim broadbent (i really want to see iris--note to self), but i'd like to see ian mckellen continue a LotR sweep. i'm going to go with mckellen on this one.
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind), Helen Mirren (Gosford Park), Maggie Smith (Gosford Park), Marisa Tomei (In the Bedroom), Kate Winslet (Iris)
they'll probably follow the golden globes with this one and give it to jennifer connelly. that's my prediction. but i'd like to see kate winslet get it because i've always liked her.
Best Director: Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind), Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down), Robert Altman (Gosford Park), Peter Jackson (The Lord of the Rings), David Lynch (Mulholland Drive)
peter jackson. i will be angry if anyone but peter jackson gets this award. the man deserves it, so give it to him.
Best Original Screenplay: Amélie, Gosford Park, Memento, Monster's Ball, Royal Tenenbaums,
i expect amelie will get it because everyone has gone crazy over this movie this year. i'd like to see the royal tenebaums get it, though.
Best Adapted Screenplay: A Beautiful Mind, Ghost World, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings, Shrek
going with my LotR gut instinct here, although they might give it to a beautiful mind. but with all of the tolkien controversy with the adaptation and whatnot, i think it'll go to LotR.
Best Foreign-Language Film: Amélie (France), Elling (Norway), Lagaan (India), No Man's Land (Bosnia & Herzegovina), Son of the Bride (Argentina)
amelie. like any of the others stand a chance.
Best Animated Film: Shrek, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Monsters, Inc.
shrek, hands down. everyone seemed to be able to get a kick out of it. mature, cute, silly, it's definitely going to win.

so there you have it, i'm going to stick by these and we'll see how i do once oscar time rolls around. damn, i almost make it sound like i know what i'm talking about, huh? :)

oooh, academy award noms when i wake up!

best supporting actor, hayden christensen for life as a house

i will post my oscar predictions once i have knowledge of nominations...ah, dear awards season...

i am absolutely livid.

i should have been out of defender by 11 at the latest tonight. instead? 2 a.m. a couple of notes:

- changes made by paul or myself should be made before an editor leaves for the night.
- text should be justified - one of the first rules of layout.
- large holes on pages should be filled with content. not my responsibility.
- FRANK ZAPPA IS DEAD. therefore, he cannot be playing at higher ground on wednesday night. a tribute band, however, can and will play there wednesday night.
- if you list an event, please specify where and when it is being held.
- if you use a source, attribute said source.
- if one does not have the correct information for the security log, do not leave it as is and not inform editors of this. it is called false information.
- check the spelling of names, PLEASE. if you spell someone's name three different ways in one story, assume TWO OF THOSE SPELLINGS ARE INCORRECT.
- spellcheck.
- do not write "today" in a story. newsprint lives forever, so they say. so write the date.
- do not make me stay in the lab until 2 a.m. when i don't need to be there. is that so much to ask???

wednesday's class will be tons o' fun. but at least i have a fun new decoration for the lab--the zappa incident. i added to the proof, "SPECIAL GUESTS: jerry garcia and jim morrison. ONE NIGHT ONLY."

could you imagine if the zappa thing had gone to print?!?!? crikey...

ok, now i sleep because i have to be back there at 9 finishing everything. AURGH...

jesse gets the gold star for the day, even though he's off in boston, he's still a wonderful big brother.

so, yeah. don't know exactly what to say about today. it's been interesting. defender people scored points for being cool and understanding (paul on the phone with bethy, who answered my phone: "is she alright?" in his paul concerned voice), i scored points for speaking my mind, and as far as the outcome? we'll just wait and see. in many respects, it's a foolish situation anyway, but i'm a foolish girl and i'll just take it as it comes. and keep in mind some of the choices that were made.

c'est la vie. back to my editorial. i think we're going to be out early tonight (knock on wood).

utter confusion.

vh1 had a segment during one of its shows today talking about tim and jeff buckley. michelle called me downstairs and i squealed.

now i'm in defender, trying to get all this stuff done as quickly as humanly possible so i can visit later.

i picked up a copy of the sunday free press so i could get a clipping for my portfolio...it's neat to see my story in there--but the one thing i've learned thus far in my internship is that i have no real desire to be a sportswriter. everyone in my department is cool and i enjoy it enough, but i don't get the thrill of writing about sports that i had last year when i was sports editor of the defender. i was sitting at champlain, refs were tossing their jackets right by where i was sitting, the champlain people were tossing key rings onto my deskspace and i just wasn't into the game at all. granted, my mind was elsewhere, but i digress.

michelle, meg, lars and lars' two friends came down to visit me at the free press yesterday evening and save me from a really boring day for a few minutes. we wound up wandering around the little bookstore right by disc go round (i'm sorry, "downtown discs") because it was warm in there. lars asked if any of us have read marcel proust. i laughed. yes, yes i have. about 15 lines of it, anyway...

weekend assignment for literary seductions is to read gatsby. niiiiiiice.

audiogalaxy is finally working on my computer, i'm currently getting tim buckley.

mormans rule.

if you want to play a fun game next time the olympics roll around, take a drink everytime you see a new flag during the parade of nations. sure to be a fun time.

lars is coming to smc tomorrow, and i'm going to be stuck at the champlain college basketball game and then the free press.

AURGH!!!!!!

at least i definitely know i'll be able to see him sunday...and hopefully maybe a little tomorrow, depending on when he arrives...

liz mentioned josh clayton-felt on her blog the other day, so i decided to check out his music...thank you for another musical tip, liz! amazing music...i downloaded as much as i could last night and fully plan on buying "spirit touches ground" when it is released (feb. 12--BUY IT!). pity he's no longer with us. right now, "dragonfly" is my favorite track, but they are all astounding. i haven't heard an artist i fell in love with immediately in a good long while...

defender is frustrating the hell out of me. i don't have enough time for it all, i feel like whatever i do just isn't good enough, and if paul tries to "just remind" me of something one more time, i will have an overwhelming urge to tell him that i want to "just remind" him that i don't want to do it anymore. AURGH!

met with buff today for a press release. amusement. now i clean my room because it looks like a bomb hit it.

i think i just might be able to go.

"what's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere, like your life just figured out how to get good, like, that second."
--my so-called life

DEADLINE IS NEAR: ATCA Midwest Young Critics Seminar - Cincinnati, Ohio - March 7-10, 2002

The deadline is almost here for writers interested in the ATCA-sponsored seminar in Cincinnati for young theater critics. Anyone planning to attend the March 7-10, 2002, program needs to contact the coordinators by Monday, Feb. 4. Other than modest out-of-pocket expenses, the seminar is free.

Coordinators Jackie Demaline (Cincinnati Enquirer) and Rick Pender (Cincinnati CityBeat) expect the seminar to appeal to critics with less than seven years of experience who live within driving distance of Cincinnati - Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia and Western Pennsylvania. Others are welcome if they are willing to fly to Cincinnati at their own expense (the Greater Cincinnati-Northern Kentucky International Airport, CVG, is principally served by Delta Airlines). Participants need not be ATCA members: If you know of young critics who would benefit from the seminar, please urge them to contact Pender or Demaline.

Pender and Demaline, both ATCA members and critics with many years of experience, will be joined by Larry Bommer (Chicago Reader, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Free Press) as mentors. Participants will be asked to submit 6-8 previous reviews in advance of the weekend to familiarize mentors with their writing. During the seminar, participants will see at least three plays, write about them, share their writing with mentors (in one-on-one sessions) and fellow participants, and have time for discussion of other critical and professional issues.

Cincinnati has a thriving theater scene. On March 7-10, the centerpiece of our viewing will be two plays by Carter Lewis - the world premiere of Men on the Take (the Rosenthal New Play Prize winner at the Cincinnati Playhouse) and the local premiere of Women who Steal (Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati). One or two additional performances will be chosen from productions of Othello (Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival), She Loves Me (University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music), Ten Little Indians (Cincinnati Playhouse), Woman in Mind (Ovation Theatre Company) and a ballet of Dracula (Cincinnati Ballet).

The Crown Plaza Hotel, located on Sixth Street in the heart of downtown Cincinnati, has graciously provided rooms at no expense for seminar participants. Some meals will be provided; participants are asked to bring approximately $100 for several meals in moderately-priced restaurants.

Participants should plan to arrive by 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 7; seminar activities will conclude by 1:00 p.m. on Sunday, March 10. Participants wishing to see a matinee at one of several theaters on Sunday afternoon will have that option.

mary sent me notice of this--i want to go. i already contacted rick and jackie, left messages about it. i don't know if it's at all possible--i can't really swing airfare and spending money--but i really, really, really want to.

listening to: rainy day, guster (from my unofficial "life as a house" soundtrack)

user support discussion topic of the day: whether dinosaur spagettios taste better than regular spagettios. after eric figured out how to heat the dinos, we found that they do, in fact, taste better.

sophisticated college discussion at its finest...

the first defender came out very, very well. it's sparked a great deal of discussion, that's for sure...

hey, you wanted real news...

i don't know if it's just that i'm too tired to really give a damn or what, but today has been one of those days where i feel completely invincible. i'm enjoying work, laughing at the calls i have to try to respond to, i'm awake (for the time being) and i'm happy.

and every dream, every, is just a dream after all
and everything stands so still when you dance
everything spins so fast
and the night's in a paper cup
when you want it to last
- heather nova

i've decided to give up on the notion of sleep. at least, no sleep until sunrise. it's been too long since i was a vampire, and, although i've found it's almost like riding a bicycle, my schedule seems to be telling me that there's no reason to sleep while it's dark outside.

first defender is at the printer--shouldn't be any problems (knock on wood). i think the naysayers who bashed the defender for not publishing real news are going to be very surprised. and frankly, i'm looking forward to the response to my editorial. you want us covering the news, you've got it, buddy. :)

today is going to be a busy day. i'm working here until 5, then working f-style from 7 to 11. at some point, i need to write a 2-page response paper about proust's swann's way for literary seductions, but i haven't even really opened up the book yet. this will be an example of bullshit at its finest. and i already told paul to stop by the sports department tonight to make sure i'm awake. i thought we decided that there would be no more 5 a.m. defender mondays...

let another semester of defender officially begin...

all i've wanted to do for the last day and a half is sleep. this does not mix well with defender production days.

i'm currently a zombie, hopefully the paper will be a success.

that is all.

ACTF was another fun, much-needed week. it was great to get away from everything for a few days--defender, classes, free press, all of it. i was able to spend as much time as i wanted doing what i love to do--write, see theatre, meet hilarious people and just have fun. i didn't have responsibilities. i could stay up all night drinking or talking or writing in my journal and it didn't affect me or my work negatively.

it's not Real Life, and that's why i love it. everyone does crazy, irrational things and the justification is simply, "hey, it's ACTF. why not?"

during the past two regional festivals, i've been nothing but happy with who i am. here, i struggle with relationships and never feel like i have enough time for everything i want to do. i'm still, much as i try otherwise, shy. i can't walk up to a complete stranger and start a conversation, but there, i can.

i'm such a wise-ass there. i'm assertive and i make acquaintances relatively easily. it's interesting to see what people who meet me there think of me--it's a chance to see how the others perceive me and if i'm happy with how they perceive me. during a conversation with lars last night, he told me that i'm a big ray of sunshine and someone that people just want to know because i make things seem better somehow. it was one of the nicest compliments i've ever received.

coming back from the festival is hard, because getting back into the swing of things is a pain in the ass. i'm exhausted, i know i have a million things to do and the people i've been spending time with are now states away from me. it's somewhat depressing to know that i only get five days out of the year to live in that somewhat-warped version of reality.

but at the same point, if it was any more than that, the novelty would wear off. i can't stay up all night and write forever while having conversations about theatre or anything with random people because i'd get tired, the writing would get boring and the people would start to piss me off eventually. the thing about ACTF is to remember how i felt during those days and try to apply it to the rest of my life as much as possible. trying to bridge the gap, i suppose.

now that i've waxed philosophical, the basis summary of the week: a blast. met a ton of cool people (personal favorite is bobby, who, by the end of my time at the stonehill party last night, was proclaiming, "I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!" reminded me of joe o'leary--great guy. going to be a great actor.), wrote and wrote (both the critics' workshop and in my much-neglected journal--it felt so good to have a chance to jot down my thoughts), saw people from last year and got to know st. mike's people better this year (while we've always been friends, i now adore christine--i got back from defender tonight and had a note from her on my desk--such a sweetheart). we st. mike's people have such a good reputation at the festival--by the end of the week, if i told anyone i was from st. mike's, they would start going off on how nice and fun and supportive and alltogether kickass we are. made me happy.

i was able to spend more time with lars over the last few days, which was great. he's a great guy. :) he's going to try to get up here this weekend because meg wants him to come along to a rave in montreal--what i would give to not be working--and he told me that he's got to get the time off at work, but that he wants to come up here. i hope he can.

i'm going back to washington in april--won the workshop again. i honestly didn't think i would--all three of us had different qualities to bring to the workshop, and there were no guarantees. i'm proud of baz--she worked her arse off in the workshop, and it showed. i learned things about writing from her that i don't think she realizes. and the other guy? he and suzanne definitely opened my eyes to see that the stereotypical "theat-AH" people are still out there and they are still just as blindly snobbish as they've ever been. might be harsh words, but i think they are very accurate.

the best congratulations came from kirk this morning as i walked back to my room. jonathan and joe were laughing at me, kirk noticed me and said, "hey vic, congratulations!!!" jon and joe started laughing hysterically while i thanked kirk and hit them.

but now, the lack of sleep from the past couple of days (hour and a half the night before last, last night and today i slept from 7:15 am to 8:00 a.m., 9-11 a.m. (car ride home) and 4:45-6:45--paul ordered me to go home from defender and nap) and the normal routine of my life is making me tired. time for bed. classes tomorrow.

hahahaha--you thought i'd go through ACTF without finding a computer to blog with...but NO! here i am, coming at you live from keene state.

the festival is great fun. the people are cool, the weather is wretched at the moment (rainy and icy and alltogether nasty), but the festival is fun. yes, james dean is back, yes, i'm resorting right back to how i was last year. :) it's certainly been interesting to talk to him--i don't know what it is about him, but it's just so much fun to play this game and see what comes of it. and he's incredibly hot. not gonna lie about it.

i don't have much time for anything else right now--getting ready to head over to the wright theater for a show--i must get my critic hat on...

it feels so good to be back. :):):) i can't believe it's already friday...