When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

You have to know when to quote, how and why. The situation, of course, dictates the genre, the show, even the character.

When savvy women of a certain disposition realize one of their inner circle of female friends is experiencing man trouble, it's clear. "Sex and the City."

STAT.

Now, given the proper circumstances and proximity, the course of action is obvious and executed quickly. Brunch. Mimosas or Bloody Marys, depending on the particular taste of those involved. A small group of women - ideally four or five - sitting together to eat a little, talk a lot and basically commiserate and remind the woman of the unfortunate hour that she is incredible/a goddess/better than the guy/going to wind up stronger in the end.

Also applicable: apartment convention with pizza or ice cream or alcohol (always sipped, never greedily consumed. More of an accessory than anything else).

It all winds up feeling very much like the show. Because dammit, you are among a group of independent, talented, vivacious women who deserve to be dazzled and loved. And because all the women involved can quote episodes effortlessly.

(Besides, if lovable, yet kind of crazy characters such as Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, even Samantha can wind up happy in the end, you know your odds in real life are awfully good.)

Sometimes, however, the situation arises in which proximity works against the group of goddesses. That is, close proximity isn't an option. And because a bruised ego or broken heart still warrants remedy when it's miles away, plan C comes into effect.

I started out a day hoping to be able to relay to friends that "I believe him to be very cute." I ended that day thinking to myself about how this perpetual Big-like-character (because let's face it, every woman has one) "wasn't a crush. He was a crash."

I didn't feel I had any particular right to be upset about it, as it was just a screwy kind of crush that had finally reached a turning point. Unfortunately, a turn away kind of point, but a point nonetheless. And, as I'd managed to narrowly escape making a jackass of myself in front of The Personal Big, I'd been quite fortunate. Nothing was given away. Ego still intact.

Right?

So there was no real need to walk down to the corner store to buy Ben & Jerry's, the course of action I was contemplating before I channeled my focus into cleaning - nay, significantly redecorating - my bedroom, writing, singing at the top of my lungs to music and otherwise trying to forget TPB entirely.

This is where the power of female friendship comes into play.

Realizing that the fact that not feeling as if I deserved to be upset sure as hell didn't change the fact that I was - I just wasn't owning up to the fact that I was - the e-comments came quickly. And branched off, so that we all ended up reminding each other of our general awesomeness.

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

"What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life?"

"i will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, i'll always think of him fondly. as an asshole."

"you have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better."

So. That said. Imagine that you're preparing to leave your laptop for a bit, having thought about it and determining that you're fine. You're imagining yourself seen in a slow-motion shot as you narrate over your movements, and you're laughing and alternately cursing Sarah Jessica Parker. You have to smile.

Because "you girls are the loves of her life, a guy is lucky to come in fourth."

Absurdity of a silent, now broken crush be damned. Because you knew this was coming and you know you've friends who get it. Friends who love you and a friend waiting in the kitchen, purse in hand, to head down to the corner store.

Because, while you don't realize it right at that moment, there's a pint of Chubby Hubby waiting to be picked up, laughed over, and brought home.