V: Know what's sad?
B: What's sad?
V: So last night, I'm getting ready to go to sleep, but I realize I kind of want to talk to him. And say, "How am I? Funny, that you ask, really. Desired, apparently. Yes, someone thinks I'm fabulous and told me so. And he isn't you. Even thought I've wanted you to tell me that for how long now??? The answer, if you're too stupid to pick up on it, is: longer than I care to admit. Is there anything you'd like to tell me?" But what I'd really say is something more along the lines of "Um, hi. Just wanted to say hi because I was, uh, thinking of you just now, how you doing?"
B: [laughing] Oh...that's harsh.
V: No. Harsh is reminding myself that I'd just get voicemail. "Hi, you're an idiot, why do you suck? Mmmkay, call me back. Bye."