This is going to be a choppy post. Consider yourself warned. Everything wound up blurring together...

Derek worked wonders and has already uploaded to Live Archive the two Nathanson Paradise shows I attended...may I recommend downloading "Detriot Waves" from Friday night and listening to it as you read? Head on over here and go nuts. It's available right here. Consider it a soundtrack to my roundup.

My time away included the musical moments I'd been hoping for and some that managed to surprise me.

- Despite feet that ached from wearing high-heeled boots for the better part of a week, I found myself dancing without a care on Saturday night as the Ryan Montbleau Band launched a full-band rendition of "City," the previously unaccompanied spoken-word-turned-song bit that opens up "Begin." A big, big fan of the track, I never thought I'd ever hear it live, so the jump up from my seat that followed the opening words was completely justified. And not at all dorky.
- Jonah Smith prefaced a cover with the explanation that he was going to attempt a song by a musician whose work he's loved for a long time - Jeff Buckley. As I leaned forward in expectant delight, he began "Lover You Should've Come Over" and my jaw nearly hit the floor. For those familiar with the song, when the instrumentation swells on "Grace" about three-quarters of the way through the song, Smith's band cut out, leaving Jonah to create a music-box take on the melody on the high keys. Brilliant. Gorgeous. Loved it.
- Matt. I don't know how he works it. He manages to make me want to refer to him endearingly as Matty Nay, yet I have to follow up the name with "that crazy motherfucker." Two out of the three shows sold out (the two I attended). "Detroit Waves" made me misty-eyed because he's taking songs I've loved for awhile now and bringing them to a whole new level with the band. He's taken everything he's been dealt professionally over the years and he's doing it on his own, with firey determination and incredible passion whenever he's on stage. And he loves his fans more fiercly than any other performer I've known of. He IS a crazy motherfucker, but he's the first to say thank you to those who support him for making him OUR crazy motherfucker. I just feel such a sense of pride each time I leave one of his shows.
- Speechwriters LLC started off with "Blood on the Frets" and kept on flying from there. I've become absurdedly hooked on the band since the NEMO showcase a few weeks ago, and they're scheduled to be back in Boston sometime in November. And I will, surprise surprise, be there for it. Added bonus? Best merch idea ever: slap bracelets. I'm wearing one now. Ha.
- I like the Chit Chat. I was able to take in sets by both Chad, who I always enjoy being able to see, and Mister Vertigo, who I'd been trying to see for awhile now. I enjoy places where the bartender will laugh with you and people are relaxed as they chat with friends. Considering all of the Paradise "Big Show" hoopla encountered later in the week, it was nice to kick things off with a comfortable show with a small group of people, where I could either listen to the performances on stage or converse. I did both with great relish. And P Squared was in the house!

But then there were the little things that made the time so enjoyable. And that made it so hard to leave yesterday. The conversation and laughter. Running into people I know. Driving to various places and knowing how to get there. Familiarity.

During one of the evenings I found myself conscious and chatting far later than I probably should have, Michelle asked me what I thought of the night that had passed. I tried to downplay it, much to her amusement.

I was doing so for many reasons, but most of all because I didn't want to really let myself process just how much I'd enjoyed myself. Because doing so would bring with it the realization that I currently have to ration these out. It's not my normal, much as it feels more normal than anything else right now. I can't help but feel that, with variations of course, that it is supposed to be my normal.

It's probably a good thing that I was alone in the car for the trip home yesterday afternoon and evening, as I was in a foul, glowering mood that grew all the more so the farther into my journey I traveled.

I'm tired of driving away.