so there's this contest at mlb.com where you write a short little ditty with the best excuses to miss work and attend opening day at various ballparks. so, naturally, i entered. i thought i'd post my entry, as i found it amusing. keep in mind, i'm going for the orioles opening day game and wrote that i'm a federal employee on the hill:

I've got a Presidential Order to attend the Orioles game on the 31st. It was really crazy, the way it happened -- I'm minding my business, sitting at my desk, when there's this rush into my office -- a flurry of dark suits, walkie talkies and other Secret Service-type of action. And suddenly, there he is, standing in front of me -- our Commander in Chief. So naturally I stand and pay him the proper respect, but he's got more pressing things on his mind than courtesy. "Vickie," he says in his accent, "you know we're in Code Orange now for National Security?"

"Yes, Mr. President," I reply politely.

"Well, I need you to show that things in Code Orange time are still safe for Americans. That the people of this country can still exist normally. I need you to help me. I need YOU to attend the Orioles Opening Day game. I need YOU in Orioles Orange during this Code Orange time."

"Yes, Mr. President," I said with courage. "That's a sacrifice I will make for my country. So be it."