i'm about to spontaneously combust.

too much...too much...i feel like i'm starting to flounder a bit. up to my eyes in defender stuff...i feel like i can't get anything done the right way and each time one task appears to be nearing completion, i look at the list of what i still need to do and it has quadrupled. so i walk about with my mind racing and, if i look at it all at once, i feel like i shouldn't be alloting myself the time to breathe, sleep or eat.

i thought i was getting a grasp on this whole editor thing, but it's so hard. i can't please anyone, everyone's coming up to me with problem after problem, i have to juggle it all, and i feel like i'm dropping everything. i'm supposed to be the one who has it all together, and i feel like the cracks are starting to show.

arcadia tonight. first rehearsal with everyone in the cast, first rehearsal with our new bernard (collin). it should be good. it'll be a good opportunity to break away from my fucked up reality for a few hours...

have to work on the ad situation for the pages sometime today, then rehearsal, then work tomorrow. then relax and perhaps even party a wee lil bit tomorrow night before defender sunday.

i just want ONE DAY OFF...

in other news, howie's site got a makeover...i like the concept behind it...color scheme is rather painful, general design things need some work (jesus christ, i am an editor, aren't i?). he actually updated the road journal (now "road news"), which was a pleasant surprise. special kudos to the "madrigals" theme to the site, especially for the "flash" photo under "music."

no time. must work. must not have a nervous breakdown.