it's funny how the day always looms ahead, so full of time and so full of things to get done in that vast expanse of time. wake up, go through the early (too often too early) morning routine, get out the door so i make it to work on time, make the familiar walk to the metro with the familiar unfamiliar faces of those who make the same walk each morning, read on the ride in, look for the familiar people positioned at their "stations" along my walk to work (dredlock man asking for a dime in his barry white-esque baritone, prophet lady standing just before the street--will she greet all of the pedestrians this morning or will she chastise them for their coffees, cigarettes and cell phones?), greet the security officers at my office building, head into the office, plunge into the waiting pile of papers, messages, projects. then, all of a sudden it's lunch, an hour of peace spent refueling, reading, talking perhaps with someone i've met up with. halfway through with the day, there are still hours of work to go, hours that suddenly fly by in a flurry of the same papers, phone calls, perhaps an IM conversation or a few emails dashed off. and then it's the trip home, nestled on a metro seat with the comfort of the book shielding my body from the rush-hour crush of sardine-packed people in the subway car. hurried walk against the brisk evening breeze back to the apartment, where i'm greeted by fidel in the same manner each evening ("good evening, my dear, happy ____ --fill in the blank with appropriate day of the week--how are you?" "great, thanks! see you later." "yes, dear, see you tomorrow, have a great night.") work the office-chair kinks in my back with luxuriously blissful stretching while i warm up in my room before heading down to the gym to work out some of the excess energy/frustration/excitement the day provided while watching bravo on the flatscreen television in front of me--the opportunity to zone out in the realm of entertainment and actors--the first opportunity i've had to not think all day. just be, relax, enjoy. give myself small challenges (well, small by the standards of the buff weightlifters who take on the weight machines, anyway) with the various pieces of machinery, discovering delightedly that i need to add another weight to the resistance, seeing previously hidden muscles start to emerge. return to my apartment feeling the delightfully contradicting sensations of muscles tired and energized, my mind centered and at peace. dinner, some phone conversations, television, more phone conversations, catching up on the day's events with my roommate, then the nightly ritual of unwinding with my book, a mug of hot cinammon tea, a "christmas cookie" candle burning as i relax in bed and prepare to drift off to sleep. a pattern, a routine that brings comfort and peace. and thus the vast and looming day is complete, another to begin when the alarm goes off the next morning...

ok, i felt like doing a bit of stream-of-consciousness writing there, which i haven't done for awhile. it's been a hectic day and i thought some time spent just letting my fingers move over the keys would provide a little spring of tranquility in the hectic pace of the morning. it did, thankfully! i don't know why i wound up writing about my typical routine--it just sort of happened, i guess. looking back on it now, i feel this need to clarify that it's not as boring and mundane as it sounds! there are often bits to jazz it up--whether meeting up with someone for lunch, going to a happy hour after work, etc.--but all things considered, it's a pretty typical presentation of the life of vickie (although i didn't make reference to the writing that i tend to do every day)...

as i said, a busy, hectic day today. but it's been going well and i don't feel as if i'm struggling to keep up with the workload, as was the case yesterday afternoon. but that was also due to the fact that i was trying to get my scheduling work done while organizing tours, waiting for return phone calls while communicating as best as i could via IM with my father (who is a much-improved computer user, but still somewhat illiterate when it comes to IM). it was as if a big stress snowball was rolling down the side of a swiss alps mountain, gaining momentum and size as it prepared to bowl me over and i had no possible way to escape.

regardless, i sit here today feeling much more in control of my workflow, not overly stressed yet still having enough to do in my four hours of afternoon office time after lunch to not rest on my laurels and look up random websites online. i'm also looking forward to a relaxing, enjoyable, somewhat impromptu trip to vermont for the weekend. i had mentioned to my parents two nights ago that chloe would be in colorado this weekend (actually leaves tomorrow) and that i would probably be chilling and relaxing by myself for most of the weekend, as almost all of my friends have valentines to spend the long, romantic holiday weekend with, and my father mentioned a few minutes later, quite out of the blue, "why don't we fly you home? it would be fun!" after being unable to find a flight back to bwi on monday, however, the plan seemed futile--until i was given permission to take a half day on tuesday and fly back to bwi tuesday morning. i'm looking forward to being able to have some time to unwind and see the homestate again. normally, there's such a rush to do everything when i'm home--see people and wish them the best on whatever holiday happens to have brought me home--i don't generally chill and do whatever, so it's nice to come home for no particular reason and just be for awhile. i'm thinking about making a day trip to burlington on sunday, as the family is working during the morning and early afternoon, and, if the defender staff will be working, i might be able to poke my head in and say hi, which would be a great deal of fun. it would be nice to have a little infusion of journalistic routine in my system, if only a taste. not to mention i would look forward to (in a masochistic sort of way) seeing how much the campus has changed already. so if you're a smc type and you'll be around, drop me a line and perhaps we can see about meeting up...

i feel like the past couple of days have been a montage of high-speed moving shots one would see in a hollywood film. everything's racing by, next to, behind me, moving with a rapid, somewhat jerky pace while the camera focuses on me, at my desk, or in the subway or in my apartment, moving at normal pace with a zen-like calm evident. it's rather bizarre...

i tell you, to quote wilco..."i just can't find the time to write my mind the way i want it to read..." - wilco