no grippo this week. next week.

i completely understand that people had work to do and didn't have time to go. obviously that's fine. but it's hard--i was supposed to see grippo tonight. howie was supposed to play here tomorrow night. i find out howie's not playing, and i'm really disappointed. i had been looking forward to it for a long time. so howie's not playing, and i focus on the fact that i'm finishing the newspaper, i'm going to see grippo and relax, then completely finish the newspaper. screw howie, i wouldn't have really had time to see him anyway because i'm doing stuff tonight. and then no one wants to see grippo.

add onto that the whole making a fool out of myself and feeling like i had my heart TRAMPLED ON last week (and i don't need to hear i deserve better, because at this point, i deserve SOMETHING. and it's quite obvious to me that SOMETHING is not going to find me and i'm going to be old and become a librarian. so even if i deserve better, having said heart crushed sucks. so what if i am better off without him--it would feel nice to finally have something work out and cheer me up, rather than have me go through my days feeling like when i have a crush on someone, i'm not happy because it means i'm going to have to try to do something about it and make a jackass of myself and feel awful. because it's a huge deal for me to put my heart out there, and while it might not seem like a big deal to everyone else, it really is to me)

so instead of being disappointed by one show, i'm disappointed by two. both of which are made that much more disappointing by the dreary existance i call my life.

and i have still have to do my fucking research paper.

now i finish editing pages. thank god it's the last fucking issue.

p.s. no offense to any librarians out there in my readers. you're great. i just don't want to be one of you.