i think it says a great deal about our culture when you log onto e! online one morning and find that the news of "survivor"'s jenna posing for playboy is posted higher than the fact that an actor featured on "jag" died of a drug overdose believed to be suicide.

ok, so i'm back in d.c. after a weekend in vermont - good times were had by all. if the weekend is any indication of the way the v.s.b.t. is going to be, i'm going to be back in kickarse condition in no time. the positivity and determination (at a higher practical level, i should clarify - the determination has been there for awhile now) continued through yesterday and i'm feeling focused and optimistic today. it's all about taking on each day as it comes.

a week from today, i'll be heading out to vegas - it has not hit me whatsoever, to be honest. there's so much at the moment that just seems so random - the upcoming weeks, my current state, how things are going - that being in sin city, the land of distorted reality, is going to be an incredibly interesting experience. i'm looking forward to it, though. it's a great place to focus on my on-going process of reclaiming my sense of self - one of the biggest things i've been lacking is my willingness and desire to be a jackarse and silly. why should i have any reservations about being silly in las vegas?!?!? i'm already demonstrating an eagerness and will to be a goofball. my aunt's big thing whenever she goes to vegas is that she makes absolutely sure anyone who's there as well has a hat available when we're out in the sun. you know, the whole sunstroke thing. so i'm going all out - who's rocking the straw cowboy hat? it's me ... it's me ... so unlike the girl who's been hanging out down here, but shades of the "aw hell, have fun with it!" vickie of the "i love rock & roll" shirts and whatnot ...

it's just time to be happy, dammit. the thing is, though, i admit there are things i'm going to miss while i'm away from dc - hanging out with chlo, spending time with my saving grace down here (i'm going to miss you, paul!!! we must hang out before i leave), chipotle (haha), adams morgan ... haha. but i need to do this to be able to be back on my game, and this will make me happier. so bring it on, i say! just have to get through this week of work, enjoy the weekend, and i'm leavin on a jet plane tuesday ...