i haven't been writing nearly as much as i think my soul needs me to. it's hard, though--i feel like, in many respects, i'm just going through the process of doing what i need to do to get by and there isn't anything exciting or pressing to write about.

but perhaps that in itself is worthy of writing about. not here where others can see it, obviously, just on paper, in my mind and heart--a chance for me to pour out what i'm feeling--or, in this case--figure out precisely what i'm feeling. in many respects, i'm being very quiet--not saying a lot, not expressing a lot--and i'm becoming quiet towards myself as well.

ever feel as if a situation is at such a place where the cards are being dealt, you look down at your hand, and you know that something's going to happen, one way or the other--if's just a matter of figuring out when precisely the right moment to play the hand is?

i'm like that right now. something's going to change.