what an interesting few days.

i'll focus on today, since i'm tired and don't want to focus on things that make no sense. easter dinner at becca's, with bec, irene, baz and lucas. i had called lars to let him know that i'd be in the 300s when he was leaving, so shortly after we began eating, he and pete stopped by. irene invited them in and offered them some food -- they jumped at the chance to have turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, rolls, the whole nine yards.

so it was a hilarious dinner party -- very interesting mix of people, but a great time. becca was recording snippets on her camcorder, we were laughing and i was sitting there wondering how this group had assembled, but amused and entertained by it. i've never been a huge fan of easter celebrations (well, since i was a little kid with the egg hunt every easter morning), this was definitely one of the best i've had in a good while.

i've got spare time now that the internship is finished -- i'm already amazed that there is time for me to just relax. i've played guitar the past two days, and while my fingers are already cursing me, it makes me very happy.

oh, and i finally bought josh clayton-felt's "spirit touches ground" yesterday during a stop at pure pop. revel...revelrevel.

it's not even 11 and i feel so drained...might have something to do with not falling asleep til after 5 this morning...but i digress.

alright, the most fucked up weekend is about to get even more interesting.

wish me luck...

sign i'm working as an editor/paginatior too much--i realize that the template for my blog would look a lot better if there was a text inset in the boxes so the text doesn't run right up to the edge...therefore giving the page more space and not straining the eye...

good lord, i need help. ;)

"life as a house" tonight. i'm impressed with what hayden did with the role. yes, yes, i am impressed indeed.

tonight i received my own official f coffee mug. i suppose it's rather like retiring from a job and getting the gold watch or whatever they give these days. only since i was (am...nope, was) a volunteer intern, i got a mug. which was pretty sweet.

yes, that is exactly what i'm saying...tonight was my last night at the f. it was actually quite sad...getting handshakes and goodbyes from everyone and being told i have letters of recommendation whenever i want them...and realizing that i won't be in the sports room all the time anymore...i suppose that's why i rarely quit things--i wrap my life around whatever i'm doing and can't imagine NOT doing it anymore. but i told mike to make sure they call me when they want things covered. i don't want to be finished permanently there.

i will have houseguests this weekend.

that is all.

break!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, so here's my deal. i'm having difficulty writing this story. my head isn't very clear and i'm tired.

so i'm going to be smart for once. i'm going to sleep now, wake up early and write this damn thing. that way my head will be on straight and i know that i'll be thinking about what i want to write while i fall asleep, so i'll be able to hammer this out before LS, have paul look it over, and give it to matt.

i work better on a major crunch of a deadline anyway.

i want to go home and go to sleep!!!!!!

upcoming music

soulive - april 23
martin sexton!!!!! - may 30

the good news: the only day of the year i will say i love the federal government. (read: i got my federal income tax check today!!!! i'm the money...the skies are sunny...)
the bad news: it's after 1 a.m., i'm still at defender, and two section editors aren't done with their sections yet.

the good news: i think we have a band for the benefit concert.
the bad news: i think i'm going to have to kill a member of the defender staff.
and i didn't do overly well on my oscar picks.

damn you, opie!!!!

ok, here we go. my official, slightly revised, but uninfluenced oscar predictions for this evening:

best actor - denzel washington, training day
best actress - nicole kidman, moulin rouge (i know, i'm going for the upset!)
best supporting actor - ian mckellen, lord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring
best supporting actress - jennifer connelly, a beautiful mind
best director - peter jackson, lotr
best film - lotr

i'm gunning for some upsets, but i think it'll be pretty accurate. i really think nicole will pull it out, and i think russell crowe shot himself in the foot with best actor, allowing denzel to sneak in for a much-deserved win.

i'm already starting to run back and forth...heehee

the day of the oscars has arrived!!!!

yippee...i know i'm going to be running between the defender lab and the tv in the classroom over.

i feel like my head has been ripped open. hurts so badly.

all i want out of life right now is to leave work, go home, and make myself chicken noodle soup. cns has never sounded so good before.

in odd coincidences that really make no sense...

driving back from my trip to the printer this morning, i drove past the 300s field and noticed a couple of birds that were startled off the road by my oncoming car. for some reason, i thought about when fabio was hit by a bird while riding a rollercoaster. i have no idea how the thought popped in my head, but there it was.

at the f tonight, i was searching the entertainment wire and found a "celebrity birthday, did you know..." type of thing. and the three-year anniversary of fabio being hit in the face by the bird on the rollercoaster is this weekend.

??????

my thoughts exactly.

that said, i've downloaded a bunch of martin sexton. for some reason, i had it in my head that i didn't like martin sexton. but now i think i was thinking of someone else (maybe mason jennings?). i want to find lyrics to "caught in the rain." if you have them or can find them, let me know.

that is all.

hahahahahahahahahaha

new, GQ john seen in full force.

but in the april issue of "interview" magazine, apparently the john boy is interviewed by sir elton himself...i've got to find this magazine. it will be an odd experience, but i suspect i'll be laughing my ass off.

i thought i'd never see old john again, but the mayer boy surprised me tonight.

watched the re-run of "late world with zach" on vh1. first of all, if he can have a show, why can't i? i was not impressed with zach at all. stupid moronic man--or, at least, that's his on-screen image. i wasn't impressed. sorry.

but john? fantastic. they showed bits before and after the commercial break--john being an ass, singing a bit of "no such thing" before breaking into a five for fighting impersonation, covering "superman." john in his goofy wonderfulness (shut up about the grammar, i'll describe it how i want. no editing tonight!)

and when he actually performed "nst," it was a healthy-looking, happy john in front of the band. none of the button-down shirt with odd-looking jeans bit--just john in a tshirt and normal jeans, smiling, looking into the camera at times, but just generally having fun with the song. for the first time in a good long while, he didn't look tired, didn't look sick, didn't sound like his voice was fading. i had a grin on my face the whole time. it was the "your body is a tacostand" john from last year.

i thought he'd been lost for good. glad i stayed up to see that there are still traces of the old john behind the whole "rock star with a band and big tourbus" image we've been fed lately.

i've been on a music donwload frenzy.

my computer will start to dislike me very soon. which means i will have to start going through my songs and deleting ones i don't listen to. or at least burn them to cd first.

but it's so hard to choose. even if i've listened to it only once, i hate the feeling of deleting a song. it's like i'm saying the song isn't good enough. :(

frustration.

i don't like to let people see when i'm getting stressed. people have enough going on, they don't need to see a whiny victoria bitching about the choices she's made. but every once in awhile, i just snap. and in order to get my thoughts out this time, i'm just going to pound the keys a bit with the hope that i'll feel better.

the urge to scream was prompted by my editor at the f tonight. i called to see if i could come in at 8:30 instead of 7 (i wanted to make sure someone was at the s.a. open forum--not to mention that i was interested in attending for my own personal interest), and i got a runaround answer that could be simplified to "we want you here at 7." fine, whatever. keeping in mind the number of times i have come in early, switched around my schedule, showed up on a friday night for what was supposed to be a "busy night" but was actually just one or two phone calls and four hours spent staring at a blank computer screen. the one time i ask if i can come in late and they tell me no. they should know that i have been busting my ass for them and i wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

i just feel like i'm running from obligation to obligation and have no time to relax or sleep or clean my room or watch television or go to a movie. all of the things i'm doing are things i've always wanted to do--and, don't get me wrong, i'm happy to be doing them--but having them all weighing down on me at once is pushing me to my breaking point. and they don't all fit together--missing a meeting i should cover for defender because i have to be at the f, calling in sick to work because i have to cover a story, not being able to focus on my senior sem because i have defender, not being able to get an assignment done because i've got work followed by f followed by story ideas for defender...

and that's not even including the opportunity to see my friends--i feel like i'm constantly running in or out the door, saying hello to my housemates as i rush off to the next thing. within the span of sunday night-monday night, i talked to lars on the phone more than i saw or talked to beth or michelle--and it's entirely my fault. i need to have time to spend with my favorite people. but to whom do i say, "no, i can't do that, i need time for myself"? the f is counting on me. the defender counts on me. my grade for senior sem is riding on what i do. and my body is constantly screaming at me for not sleeping enough, not eating enough (or not eating well enough), my room is in desperate need of cleaning, there are dishes and downstairs to clean, i have things in my car that i brought back from spring break with me that are still in the trunk...

i have to tackle things one item at a time. it's the way it works best. but it's hard right now to do that--as i work on one thing, i get calls or emails or reminders of the other things i need to do. and i'm constantly yawning or rubbing my eyes because i'm tired. and i find whatever phone is available and stare at it, wanting to call my friends and talk to them about how they are doing.

i know it's just a little slump--part of the cycle. but seeing the days fly by and graduation race closer makes me feel all that much more desperate. the little kid in me wants someone to give me a hug and tell me that i don't have to worry about all of this. and that graduation isn't going to be here before i know it. and that i won't look back on the last year of my college career, wishing i'd done less and had time to live a little more.

alright, enough whining. have to get to the f. don't mind me, i'll be perfectly fine in no time.

i was wondering if anyone would contact the defender about it...

we received an ad from planned parenthood, ran it last week and will run it this week. i knew that people would probably have something to say about the fact that we are accepting an advertisement from an organization like that, particularly because we're at a catholic college that refuses to discuss making condoms available to students. ultimately, however, i guess i just felt that it was important. it's not like planned parenthood deals strictly with abortions, afterall. in many respects, i think st. michael's hides from these issues way more than it should--using the "we're a catholic college" bit instead of really dealing with issues that should be dealt with.

abortion is a heady topic--one that i don't necessarily have a concrete opinion of--and i know that running the ad will make and apparently has made some people uncomfortable. however, who am i to say that we refuse to run an advertisement for an organization that offers help to women in a variety of manners?

i feel like my superhero alter ego right now would be Issue Girl. dealing with all of these important decisions and whatnot...it messes with my head a bit.

3:30 on a defender monday...not bad, considering that i had to conduct interviews, organize and sort notes, and write a story...i'm actually quite pleased, to be honest. rachel and paul get gold stars for all of their help. yay!

it felt so good to be able to work on a story for once...paul laughed at how giddy i was. i loved being on the phone with people and leaving messages and being able to get things confirmed and ask tough questions!

highlight of the night was the last phone call i made. keep in mind that i did feel really bad for having to call at midnight, but it needed to be done.

*phone rings*
person called (hereafter referred to as p.c.): *picks up phone* you are not seriously calling me at this time of night, are you?
me: yes i am.
p.c.: what the fuck do you want?
me: i want a statement. want to make one?
p.c.: jesus christ...

hey, i got the statement. and next time, maybe he'll think twice when he doesn't return my voicemails. :):):)

so...st. patrick's day has come to a close...while many may feel that an 11 p.m. ending time is way too early, keep in mind that the day began almost 16 hours ago...

it feels like it's at least 2 a.m. i was determined to have a good time, and i did. going to rira's at 9 in the morning was an interesting experience, but i'm glad we went there instead of what ales you...i liked the rira's crowd and it's larger and more comfortable. the irish ambiance further helped. had my long island (naturally) and was good. the rest of the day was spent on campus...

stood by meg's house around 11:30 or noon watching erica, sean, meg and the like playing drinking wiffleball (you reach a base, you have to drink the beer placed there), dropkick murphys blaring through josh & nick's living room windows. we bounced about, singing along to "barroom heroes", wearing our green and drinking our various beverages. some graduated members of that group were back for the weekend. it felt good to know that the defender was ahead of schedule and be stress-free and goofy for a day.

the day was an opportunity for random pdrunken photo ops, a chance to see people i haven't had a chance to visit with for awhile, and time to have fun. becca partied like a rock star and, to the best of my knowledge, avoided christening a jacques...it was good to be able to have a free day on both of our schedules and hang out...we stopped by our old house during the afternoon and sat on the porch...i perched in my old spot (resting on the railing with my back on the wall and my foot against the crosspost) while becca sat perpendicular to me, and there was an odd sense of displacement--i settled into my little place like i'd never left, stretching out my legs and again loving the fact that the crosspost's location is just right for me to rest my feet on and fully strech out my legs--but at the same time, almost a year has gone by and so much has changed. i was glad to have becca there for the experience.

on our way back from downtown, we stopped at the bevy and we had a discussion about goldschlager--the last (and only) time i'd ever had it was during my senior year of high school, visiting josh at elmira, and i remembered that i'd loved it--and i said i needed to have it again before i graduated. less than two hours later, jeremy led me into his house and told me that i needed to have a drink and pulled out a bottle of goldschlager. so i had my shot and was content.

i'm interested in knowing if the st. patrick's day revelry here is anything like at other colleges. i talked to lars tonight before he headed out to go drinking, and he asked me why we were having such an early night. after i explained that we were at the bars at 9 a.m., he was floored and asked about the day, asking, "is this just an irish thing or something?" but considering that the uvm kids were nowhere to be found this morning and the bar scene, other than the unruly students of the catholic institution i attend (ah, my heathens, how i love thee), was dead, i had to reply that, at least around this area, it appears to be a st. mike's thing. is it?

now, all the stands between me and my bed is ten defender proofs that need to be edited. technically i should read over the section from lolita more carefully, but i know enough of it to get by in class tomorrow. and, considering the long, random day, the last thing i want to focus on right now is forty-year-old humbert humbert having sex with a twelve-year-old girl. c'est la vie.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!

ah, how i love the 50% irish blood running through my veins.

it started at rira's at 9 a.m. and is continuing throughout the day. have a good one... :)

C.N.G. is invading our territory today.

:) why do i not mind being at work this afternoon?

just caught a gimpse of my reflection in the window--my hair is finally getting long.

rock.

saw part of the mlk talent show...while i didn't get to see the "knights of fire" gang, i did get to see the annual shaun d. dance number and angelo's annual dance tribute to female pop stars...i had tears in my eyes from the laughter

so the howie thing...shawn called me and i explained the situation to him. in the week we're looking to hold the concert, there is one, possibly two dates howie would be able to play. he's going to be in touch with howie and see if he's interested in playing, shawn mentioned that howie's been wanting to get back up in the area, so hey, that might be good. i was very honest with him--i told him that as far as money goes, we're starting from scratch, and, while we'd love to have howie play the show, if it works out scheduling-wise, it's all going to come down to money. shawn seemed cool about it, so maybe the howie camp will pleasantly surprise me. i was very happy after the phone conversation, so i should know early next week.

it would be so nice to be able to know i have someone to perform...so, so nice...but i digress.

so i'm back at the f for another friday night...t had said that it was going to be busy tonight, but j said there's not much going on...one of the biggest things we had to track down was the agate for the EHSS championship, but i've already had it faxed to us and typed it up...so i'll relax and wait for the phones to ring?

heard back from shawn--maybe this howie/benefit pairing will happen? i'm hoping...

my mother made a rather humorous remark earlier this afternoon, and i think i will apply it to future posts concerning the editorial/vickie-bashing debacle...she made a reference to mary j. blige's "no more drama," joking that whenever i walk into a room, the young & the restless song should be automatically start playing somewhere.

therefore, any future posts about this will be prefaced by "*cue Y&R theme*"

damn, i need sleep. :)

To the Saint Michael’s Campus Community,

I am writing this letter in response to the editorial published in the Defender regarding the Shaun Bryer and Mariusz Misiaszek campaign for SA President and Vice President. I am tired of the negative publicity that the Bryer/Misiaszek campaign is receiving by members of this community, specifically our campus media, and feel the need to offer a different, more justifiable opinion.

I was very disturbed by the manner in which D Executive Editor V chose to offer her negative support and questions regarding the integrity of Bryer and Misiaszek to the entire campus. These libelous words were publicized without having contacted the two candidates who have been the subject of public mockery and insult for the past month. This lack of communication gave neither Bryer nor Misiaszek an opportunity to offer explanation or defense against the accusations that V brought forth in her editorial. And so, yet again, are these two candidates left with more opposition from the campus that they wish to represent and help to make a difference for the future.

My question is this: Why do people on this campus feel the need to attack candidates who are trying to change our student government for the better? Furthermore, how can a media resource that shows such extreme bias against certain candidates be at all justifiable in their professional role as journalists on this campus? I personally feel that many inaccurate assumptions were made related to the integrity of the beliefs and goals of Bryer and Misiaszek in their campaign and, more importantly, to who they are as individual members of this campus community.

Allegations that Bryer promoted his own presidential campaign and neglected his responsibilities as SUPC Co-Chair by not justly advertising the election process to other possible candidates are erroneous. Not only did Bryer and fellow SUPC Co-chair Chris Carolan advertise the election process through email and the SA meetings, they provided a detailed outline of the entire election process on the nomination forms that the candidates picked up in the SA office prior to collecting signatures from fellow students. Perhaps if the Defender had a representative present at the SA meetings instead of a proxy, this misunderstanding could have been avoided.

With regards to the controversy surrounding Misiaszek’s resignation from his position on the e-board last month, many assumptions have been made concerning his reliability for the future. I will point out that his decision to step down from his position was a difficult one and that much contemplation was placed into his letter to the campus community. Misiaszek was looking to make a difference and felt that his association with the current e-board was not as effective as it could have been and therefore left to prepare for possible future endeavors. Misiaszek simply decided that it was time for his voice to be heard and that he no longer wished to be associated with the executive board this year. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you feel is right, especially when you are a majority of one.

I have the utmost respect for both Bryer and Misiaszek, not only as candidates for the SA executive positions, but also as two very respectable and hard-working young men who I have the honor of calling friends. I am deeply disheartened by the way that some of the members of the campus community that they both love and are working so hard for have turned so harshly against them. I myself considered running for office, but decided against it because I truly feel that both Bryer and Misiaszek have the initiative to accomplish their goals and change the Student Association. Therefore, I chose to postpone my own possible candidacy for future elections and to give Bryer and Misiaszek my full support in their campaign for the elections this year.

Finally, to the student population of Saint Michael’s, I ask that you to let your voice be heard on March 20th and 21st. As members of the student association, we all have the right to elect representatives who will be there for us and listen to our concerns and ideas. Where I believe that Bryer and Misiaszek are in fact the best candidates for the positions they seek, I can only ask that our community finally unite and elect a president and vice president who will work together for us and make a difference for our campus community.

Thank you,
A Concerned Student

if you have the guts to send something like that (from an off-campus email address, no less, thus playing upon exactly one of the points i criticized in the editorial), at least have the courage to post your name. i give the other girls props for standing behind what they had to say. this is just cowardice.

i stand behind what i wrote 100%. as the editor of the defender, i am open to any comments that students want to make about what i wrote. but don't think that throwing around accusations of me being libelous or slanderous (at least C.S., as i will call the nameless one got the terminology right and spelled my name correctly) is going to get me to take back what i said or aplogozie to anyone.

not guh--not gunna do it. not guh--not gunna do it...

and, my response to C.S. :

"Concerned Student":

I am dropping a line to encourage you to forward your campus-wide email to defender@smcvt.edu. As editor of The Defender, I enjoy seeing discussion about any content in the newspaper--editorial content or otherwise--and would like to be able to put your letter in the "Letters To The Editor" section in our next issue. All letters should be submitted by noon tomorrow. Please feel free to forward the email to the staff account.

Please keep in mind, however, that our policy states we will not run anonymous letters. Therefore, if you do send it to the newspaper, include a name and class year.

Thank you for reading The Defender.

Sincerely,
V

a quote for the evening: "Once we start worrying too often or too deeply about what certain individuals and what certain groups think about us, then we might start selling our souls for the sake of expediency. I suggest if that day ever comes, then the press has had it. -- Otis Chandler, publisher of the Los Angeles Times, 1969"

a flyer ciruclated in a table drop in alliot this morning:

THIS CONCERNS YOU...

We feel it is imperative that you know the truth. Who is V to say that the Bryer/Misiaszek campaign is quote "polished and slick"? Knowing Shaun and Mariusz on a personal level, we know that they are only in this for the good of the S.A. Unlike V, the executive editor of TD, we are voting members of the Student Association, and have never missed a meeting. Who is she to say that, "when you look past the smiles and slogan, their actions indicate otherwise"? What you see is what you get, simple as that. This being said, we believe that Mariusz's resignation from the E-board was completely justified. Circumstances being what they are, we would have resigned as well. Obviously if Shaun and Mariusz are elected as President and Vice President of the Student Association, then Mariusz would have no need to walk away again. Hopefully the S.A. will then be about important issues as opposed to petty arguments that stem from personal issues. Almost every issue is nothing but a personal attack.

Furthermore, we would like to clear up some false information that was published in TD, "two recent campaign posters showed sophmoric humor, playing off the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal and the recent Shaun Anderson S.A. scandal". First of all, the posters are funny and they bring fun into campaigning. We are college students and enjoy humor. The fact of the matter is that it's not about the posters, it's a personal attack. In regard to the latter poster, in what way is the poster a slanderous attack against the Shaun D. S.A. scandal? If V did her research, she would know that the Shaun D. scandal pertained to events that he held for Founder's Hlal, not the socials. Just thought you'd like to know the truth on that one.

And, if she read her e-mail, she would have received e-mails from Shaun regarding campaign dates, etc. In fact, Shaun handed out flyers during an S.A. meeting that the members were supposed to hang up in their dorm area. Our are on our door!

Shaun and Mariusz do have our interests at heart. Their actions make it clear that they focus on the whole student body, not just themselves. If you look past all the slanderous attacks, then maybe you'll realize that.

Sincerely,
***Names of authors--(I'm witholding them here)***

this is bloody fantastic!!!! while people on campus were concerned about what my reaction to this would be, i'm thrilled beyond belief. why, you ask? it means that the newspaper really is affecting people. and people are reading it. if people didn't read the paper this week before, they will now. and there's a dialogue that's opening up. beautiful!

i'm not angered by this at all. the only things i take slight note of is the fact that my name is spelled incorrectly (my name in all Defender features is v, but if i did use my nickname, it would be v short, not the misspelling that is printed in the flyer), and i don't like someone saying i was slanderous. opinion page. editorial. OPINION. there was nothing slanderous in the editorial whatsoever. and i'm not crazy about the fact that the letter insinuates that i called the shaun poster slanderous. i did not. i said it was a cheap joke.

so, after laughing a lot, talking with a few people, and calling home to tell my parents how fantastic this is, i naturally emailed the girls.

Re: THIS CONCERNS YOU...

I was given a copy of your letter to the student body today and thought I would drop a line to encourage you to submit a copy via email to defender@smcvt.edu for the "Letters to the Editor" section in next week's issue of The Defender. Discussion about the issues, particularly something like the S.A. election is important and I would like to see it in the newspaper.

By the way, my nickname is spelled "Vickie." Just a little FYI for you.

Thank you and hope to see the letter submitted,

V

not exactly the reaction i figured they'd be looking forward to. :)

i cannot wait to show this to paul. and a copy is certainly going up on my door.

THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!!!!

bwahahahahaha.

oh, free press story looks great! i was thrilled to see it with a huge headline and photos...looks like i know what i'm doing! got an email from buff regarding it...she closed it with "You go girl!" heehee...she's adorable. :)

WHAT A BLOODY FANTASTIC DAY!!!!!!

response to my latest editorial in The Defender has been interesting, to say the least. i've been pleased by the compliments i've been given, and i'm glad to know that colby didn't read into part of it the wrong way (he called over to me across campus while i walked to work to tell me he thought i wrote a nice piece--i made sure to tell him i wasn't trying to slam him or any other e-board members, and he said he didn't read it that way whatsoever). apparently someone is passing an editorial about my editorial around the cafeteria today--i want to be able to grab a copy of it and see what this girl has to say. i think it's great that dialogue is opening up about what i wrote--in many respects, isn't that what a newspaper is supposed to do?

my chill story ran on the front page of the living section in the f today...i'm actually pleased with it, seeing how it looks on the page. it was a struggle to write, but hey, i don't think i did too badly with it. and i'm not going to lie about it--it's neat seeing my story with a big ol' headline and photos and a jump to another page! revel...revelrevel...

note how i mentioned i might nap after my last post?

well, i most certainly did not. stayed up all night and then hopped on a plane to nyc shortly before seven a.m. i had to be searched at burlington--that whole handheld metal detector device is slightly intimidating. the national guardsmen packing heat were exceptionally intimidating.

but we hopped on the plane and flew off to new york. well, laguardia, anyway. then we hopped on a bus and rode to new york. our bus driver only almost hit a big truck once (translation: very safe ride into the city). i knew the skyline (or absence in the skyline, as the case may be) would shake me, but it was very surreal. felt like i wasn't really seeing it properly (but then again, that might have been because i was remarkably loopy due to sleep-deprivation).

trying to follow a bus' progress in the city is next to impossible. we knew we had to get to times square, so i made a decision and got us off the bus as we stopped at columbia. short subway ride got us to the square, and we walked the tiny distance to the good ol' ny times. want to talk about an intellectual orgasm for a journalism major? walk into that building, walk up to the desk, say your name, and have the front desk person ask you to just wait over there, she'll take you upstairs shortly. erica and i stood there, amazed that we were spending the morning in such an amazing place.

the whole colloquium bit was decent--we mainly sat around listening to people talk about how we, as editors, have the right to excercise editorial review when it comes to advertisements and op-ed pieces. um...yes, paging captain obvious. captain obvious, please respond... but there were good points raised, and i did learn some surprising facts about people who try to target college newspapers in the hopes of getting ridiculously controversial pieces run. and i was humbled (almost a smidge more than i would have liked) by my fellow editors and the newspapers they run. crikey...to be running a daily newspaper right now would be insane...granted they have huge staffs and only have to oversee, but still...

i only started to fall asleep once, but everything was ridiculously hazy and my body felt fuzzy the whole time. i seriously felt like i was drunk or something. odd feeling. note to self: never not sleep the night before an interview! just sitting in a room and only occasionally participating was hard.

we met the publisher, which was cool. he gave closing remarks and i was impressed by his convictions, logic and sense of humor. while some editors were walking up afterwards and asking him all these questions or asking for autographs and/or other forms of sucking up, erica and i walked up to him, introduced ourselves, shook his hand and thanked him for the opportunity to attend. he seemed surprised (i'd like to think pleasantly) that we weren't joining the masses in hanging onto his every word.

afterwards, we had a couple hours to kill before getting back to laguardia, so we went to ground zero. we didn't get on the viewing platform, but we were right there, across the street from it all. it hasn't hit me yet that i was there, that i saw the building ripped open, that i saw the space where the towers were (where the towers i always adored were), that all of the signs, flowers, flags, candles, and letters were for people who died there. well, obviously i know that they were there for that purpose, but knowing that i was at a site where thousands of people had lost their lives exactly six months ago...odd. humbling. surreal. but i'm glad i was there, especially making my first trip back on that day. i took pictures of it all--for three reasons. 1) photo of the week material for defender 2) so i had a record of my own of what i saw and 3) so i didn't have to process it all. seeing the photographs will be just as hard as being there.

i wanted to see the tribute of light...we walked right by the structures with the lights set up, but, as it was daylight, well...you do the math. we were riding on the train out to queens at dusk, and the skyline was breathtakingly beautiful. the sky around the city was turning into an inky indigo color, but the sky seen between the buildings and in a halo above them was still turquoise, a little gold around the edges. the chrystler building was lit up, and others were just starting to become lit. it was absolutely gorgeous. i was watching it, waiting for the switch to be hit and the towers to light, but it turns out they were lit shortly after we lost view of the skyline. and, while i hoped to see it from the plane as we left, that area was directly behind the plane as we flew away. so i didn't get to see it. but, with everything else i'd seen throughout the day, that was fine. i was content.

now, i offer advice. never, ever ever ever fly twice in one day. i do not know how businesspeople can do it. i felt like i was living in a fucking airport.

always give appreciation to the subway. beautiful, beautiful thing.

do look up when you are leaving the subway. we passed a poem of sorts when leaving times square. on the beams above our heads appeared a series of signs. the put together the following: "overslept. so tired. late for work. i'll be fired. why bother? so much pain. go back home. do it again." it made me chuckle.

do be nice to people when asking for directions. everyone we spoke to was fantastic. the men and women of the NYPD earned even more of my appreciation when they were so damn nice to us, particularly on what had to have been an emotional day. and the guy at the shop gave us free postcards. ;)

do sleep the night before such an adventure.

ok, time to write a story for f.

yeah, so the whole "maybe i'll nap" concept doesn't look like it'll be happening.

in an hour, i'm supposed to have woken up. in two hours, i will be meeting up with matt & erica so we can drive to fair burlington airport. in just under four hours, i will be on the plane heading to fair gotham. in just under eight hours, i will be at the new york times. in just under thirteen hours, i will be leaving the new york times. in just under fifteen hours, i will be arriving at laguardia. in just under seventeen hours, i will be heading back to vermont.

in case you can't tell, coherency isn't exactly a strong suit right now. maybe i will nap for an hour.

sometimes i am far too pathetic. for instance, spending a good half hour trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow at the conference, thus tormenting beth and michelle with ridiculous questions and fears. an example: "see, i'm supposed to wear subtle colors. and this is subtle. but i'm worried that camel is a little too spring for this time of year. and i haven't polished these shoes."

i need to get a reality check. this is not a job interview. this is a conference. i will not be working at the new york times after graduation. i need to put aside fears about scuffed shoes, finish typing my resume, and have fun tomorrow! and keep in mind that i look good and camel is perfectly appropriate in early spring.

ah...i cannot believe how much i have to accomplish today...to think that i will be in fair gotham at this time tomorrow...

i roughly tallied my internship hours thus far and found myself somewhere in the 90 ballpack.

sweeeeeeet.

byline week for me: today (well, technically, yesterday), tomorrow (well, technically, today) and thursday (well, technically, thursday).

i'm upstairs...and all i need in life is a wee lil bit of salsa con queso and chips to go to bed...but i don't feel like i can go downstairs to get said nourishment...my bed looks so comfy...but without salsa con queso, bad things may happen and i won't be in good shape tomorrow...but i don't want to interrupt...aurgh...

so...

i'm at work.

ted asked me to come in early because i was doing an advance for the championship games tomorrow. as he put it, "we'll get you in early and get you out early."

so...

i'm still at work.

everyone but paginator guys is covering a game somewhere. so that leaves me and mike (mike the wonder intern boy) to handle the calls. i don't mind, i'm just a little on the tired side. and i had to do all the agate for the skiing championships out in alaska, and frankly, it was a bit straining on the eyes.

i'd like to ask to head home early, but i don't want to look like a pain...it's just that i'm going to be going to barre tomorrow for the division 2 game, and that means i'm leaving earlier than i normally do and, therefore, putting in more hours at work, and considering that i'm putting in extra hours tonight and i have a lot of work to do before monday...it would be nice to be able to duck out early...

i just want to be able to enjoy a friday night like all the other 21-year-olds in this damn city!!!!!!

ok, my whining is finished.

hahahahaha...john has a music video...i don't want to sound mean. obviously, much as i'm disappointed with his apparent choices now, i'm a john fan. and i'm not slamming the video...i suppose what's so interesting is seeing the first music video for someone i can't believe actually HAS a music video...it's crazy. he's just supposed to be playing shows. it's too odd to see all these transitioning shots and closeups of his face and shots of fans buying tickets and all that.

it's odd to see him getting bigger!

apparently this is payback for all the times i've cursed my desire to be a journalist. and how sweet the payback is! *knock on wood*

tonight i'm going to see tom wicker in the international commons. wicker is a pretty big name in journalism--new york times, reported from dallas about the jfk assassination--he's got amazing stories and i'm incredibly excited about being able to listen to him and perhaps speak to him afterwards. it'll be cool to speak to someone who has done so much for the field and has been a witness to some of the major events in recent american history...

monday is new york day. plane tickets have been purchased, erica and i are set to go. i'll only grumble a little about having to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. at the latest--i have no problems with being awake at 4 a.m., but it's generally because i haven't slept yet, forget waking up that early...a conference at the new york times, then a couple hours to kill in the city before heading back to laguardia for the flight back to burlington. an opportunity to be in the new york times, a chance to meet with other college journalists and make some connections (much as i hate that word because i feel like i'm a corporate shark whenever i use the word). it's a little nerve-wracking to be flying in and out of the city on the six-month anniversary...but making my first trip to the city since before 9-11 will probably be eerie, especially on that day. it looks like we'll be there for the first showing of the "towers of light", which i'm glad i'll be able to witness. well, not glad per se, but i'd like to think you know what i mean. considering that i tend to be a sentimental sap, i think being there on that day will mean a lot to me.

tuesday it looks like i'll be going along with burlington-area kids for chill--a program sponsored by burton snowboards and mitsubishi motors. basically, kids are given the chance to snowboard at bolton mountain for free and learn to ride. it sounds like a cool program, and i'll be writing a piece on it. i spoke with maggie, the head of the program, and she's thrilled that i'm covering it and matt said i could go crazy with the story. i'll ride to bolton with everyone, talk to kids, talk with the coordinators, and they even said i could give boarding a shot myself, which i'm super excited about! i'm sure i'll break myself, but hey, what the hell, it'll be fun.

things are busy, but good busy, and i feel happy that i'm accomplishing things. i called howie's management today and left a voicemail for shawn, so i'm hoping to find out if howie would be able to play at the concert. if not, one of the people from don law said she's got a bunch of artists who would work really well, so maybe we'll be able to even book one of them for a reasonable price and have a good time.

so now i just need to get my defender stuff done, work on my review to send in to ACTF, and make sure i get rest sunday night so i'm not a zombie on monday. crikey!

i just realized that i'll be in new york on the six-month anniversary of 9/11.

never, ever mess with me while john is supervising a shift!

during my user support shift from hell the other day, a professor asked for copier paper, so i went and got him some. the secretary wasn't there, i wasn't doing anything at the time, so i thought i'd be nice. however, the copier was fucking up and jamming. so i tried helping a little bit because i'm nice like that. and it was right at the end of my shift, so i thought i'd end the day on a high note. this professor wouldn't get it through his head that the copier wasn't working properly, and i told him that i wasn't overly knowledgable about the machinery because it doesn't fall under user support supervision. nonetheless, he tells me that he needs these copies and has to start class, so tells me that if i could do my best with getting the copies for him, he'd be back in about ten minutes to get them and walks away. i felt like i was about an inch tall and i was pissed off--though, admittedly, a lot of that aggression had to do with the fact that everyone and his cousin was pissing me off by that point.

i went back into the office and groaned to john about it, and he went apeshit--yet again showing why he is such a kicass boss. little did i know that he was going to make sure that didn't happen again. as he put it, "i don't think anyone who works here should have to put up with that shit, particularly you!"

ah, they look out for me.

must call child travel for plane stuff and howie's management for booking prices today before going to the f. tom wicker is going to be on campus tonight, and i hope to be able to go see him--he sounds fascinating.

random note for the day: nothing better than being curled up in bed, having a late-night phone conversation.

i know, i'm pathetic. shush.

proctor high alert, proctor high alert! an interview with andrew sutherland about his new album. go androo...

February 22, 2002
Not Wanted: '02 Graduates Seeking JobsBy LYNNLEY BROWNING

BOSTON — When the millions of students who are set to graduate from college this spring started out in the late 1990's, the stock market was on a bull run and the dot- com frenzy was in full swing. At colleges across the country, career-services offices fashioned makeshift interview booths to accommodate the companies on a hiring binge.

Fresh-faced 22-year-olds commanded signing bonuses of $10,000 or more. People with bachelor's degrees in engineering or computer science often had a dozen job offers, some with six-figure salaries. Liberal arts majors found plenty of opportunities, too, working for Internet companies and consulting and financial firms.

Those heady times are gone. With the economy still struggling, layoffs increasing and corporate America wary about the near future, students who complete their undergraduate degrees this year face the worst job market for college graduates in nearly a decade.

"It's not like people even want a job in their major — they just want a job," said Sakara A. Bey, a senior at Tufts University who is majoring in engineering psychology. "It's become a prize possession."

Amid a severe retrenchment in hiring that began last summer, said Marilyn F. Mackes, executive director of the National Association of Colleges and Employers, "the job candidate is no longer calling the shots." The association calls this year's job market the tightest for graduating seniors since 1994, when companies began hiring again — slowly — after the 1990-91 recession.

Ms. Mackes estimated that there would be 20 to 25 percent fewer jobs for students who graduate with bachelor's degrees this year, typically in May or June. That does not surprise Nathan I. Perlis, 21, a biology and Judaic studies major at Tufts, who has long planned to go to medical school. "Out of 20 friends, I have one who actually has a job," he said in December, about two months after the peak recruiting season at most colleges. "A lot aren't even looking because they know it's so hard."

At Boston University, barely 50 companies came to a two-day recruiting fair in October, compared with about 100 the previous year, said Richard A. Leger, director of career services at the university. Many companies had just instituted hiring freezes, he said, and even those that showed up were, in many cases, there simply to maintain a presence on the campus. Among the no-shows at a B.U. off-campus job fair last month in New York, he said, were Ogilvy & Mather, the advertising agency, and Zenith Media, a communications company that is part of the Zenith Optimedia Group.

Recruiters may not return soon. In January, the unemployment rate was 5.6 percent, the highest level since April 1995. The unemployment rate for college graduates who are 25 or older nudged down to 2.9 percent last month from 3.1 percent in December — the highest level since April 1993, according to the Bureau for Labor Statistics. Economists expect jobless figures to continue to rise, although at a slower pace. Layoffs have been pronounced in the financial services, consulting, manufacturing and technology industries. Particularly hard hit has been the travel industry.

"You send companies e-mail messages and they say `We're on hold,' or you never hear back," Mr. Leger said. "It's like we're the ones having to do the recruiting."

Michael J. Walsh Jr., B.U.'s director of career services for engineering students, said 34 companies pledged to come to a job fair for engineering majors earlier this month, compared with 59 companies last year. Seven of the companies agreed to come after Mr. Walsh waived the $250 participation fee for them.

Worse, only 12 companies, mostly military contractors, have signed up to recruit B.U. engineering students this spring, compared with 20 last year. While Mr. Walsh would not name companies that had dropped out, he said they included major computer and software concerns and struggling or defunct dot-coms.

The drought has spurred him to cold-call prospective employers and scan local help-wanted ads for leads.

But such efforts may not bear fruit for another six months. Philip D. Gardner, director of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute at Michigan State University, said that most of the 290 companies surveyed by the institute in October were likely to resume hiring in the summer when students are not on campus and are hard to track down.

FleetBoston Financial, the large bank based in Boston, said it planned to hire only about half as many new graduates this year, mostly as financial analysts and loan officers, according to James E. Mahoney, a spokesman. He noted, though, that last year was a record hiring year for the company. EMC, a data storage company based in Hopkinton, Mass., about 35 miles west of Boston, plans to reduce its hiring of fresh graduates this year by half, to several hundred people, said Greg Eden, a spokesman.

Not all companies are closing their doors. Gillette, which has headquarters in Boston and makes a range of personal goods besides razors, will hire 13 new graduates to start in late spring, one fewer than last year, said Stephen K. Brayton, a spokesman.

The sudden shift in the job market has led students to plan for futures they never envisioned. That may not necessarily be bad, though.

"I'm looking at Teach for America and FEMA," said Adam D. Babin, 21, an advertising major at B.U., referring to a high-school teaching program and the government's emergency-management agency. "Everyone's either going to do something unrelated to their major or move back home."

Around a dozen undergraduates interviewed at Tufts and Boston University late in December said the dwindling number of jobs was also prompting many of them to apply to graduate school in their disciplines or to law school. The Law School Admission Council, an industry organization in Newtown, Pa., said that as of Jan. 26, applications to law school from people of all ages were up 25.2 percent over last year.

But more schooling is not an attractive option to Pavan Pant, 21, an engineering and computer systems major at B.U. "A lot of kids simply don't want to go to grad school after four years in college," Mr. Pant said. He is hoping that his internship last summer at I.B.M. will lead to a job at the company but he does not yet have an offer.

Compounding their troubles, many seniors will have sizable student loans to pay off after graduation. David S. Stein, a clinical psychology major at Tufts with $20,000 in student loans, said he hoped to land an $18,000-a-year job at a home for troubled children and families in Needham, Mass. But if he gets that job, he said, he will have to live with his parents, ask them for money and take out more loans.

Other students said they were scrambling for part-time internships that might become full-time paying jobs. Jean M. Papalia, director of career services at Tufts, said approximately 100 students participated over winter break in one- to two- week internships arranged by the university at local companies and organizations, up from 70 the previous year. The number of companies recruiting at Tufts last fall was much lower, she said, though she could not provide details.

Mr. Gardner of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute said that many engineering and computer science majors would probably receive at least one offer. But starting salaries will not be as stratospheric as in years past. The average high- end salary for computer science majors has fallen from around $65,000 to the low $50,000's, Mr. Gardner said.

Liberal arts majors are finding the job market particularly tough.

Amanda K. Bronesky, 21, a senior majoring in international relations and Spanish at Tufts, said she was crushed when EF Education, a language school company based in Cambridge, Mass., dropped out of a Tufts career fair in October. But Ms. Bronesky said she hoped to land an internship, paid or unpaid, at Explorica, an educational exchange company in Boston. Her backup plan is to live with her parents in Denver, and work as a waitress.

"Before the economy got bad, jobs were just given to students," said Ms. Bey, the Tufts senior, whose plan is to apply to graduate programs in engineering psychology. "Now the companies are saying, `Come and find me.' "

oh goody.

argh. looking for flights from burlington to new york. i can't really consider driving because i have to be down there by 11 a.m., but it's hard to find a flight that fits into such a tight schedule. looks like the only one that works is over $300. i don't want to have to take a lot from the budget to pay for it, but i suppose if that's my only real expense...(plus the return flight would perhaps be late enough for me to slip up to the top of the empire state building--i've never been to new york without stopping there and i don't really want to break the tradition...hmm.)

new york in six days. new york times. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"no such thing" is being played at EQX. it's official, the boy is making it if he's even reached vermont.

good lord.

people are being morons this afternoon at work--people calling in for help but refuse to listen to the help i try to give them. i'm not just saying all of this stuff to hear myself talk...i'm trying to give people tips for next time. so shut up and listen to me!

tonight i learn how to wire stories into the f from remote so i can cover boys' championship games on saturday. whee!

clinton is cool. i hope we can meet up in d.c.

that is all. now i read for my various classes. oy.

I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?

i ate a fortune cookie this evening that had three fortunes inside. not one, not two, but three. i am very pleased by my fortuntes:

- you will be happy be receipt of good news.
- stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
- a cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.

happy happy...revel, revelrevel.

What Sex Toy Are You?

words cannot describe how exhausted i am.

oy.

seems we're not alone in feeling frustrated/disappointed with the lupo's show...quite a few long-time fans appear to be dealing with conflicting emotions about john's success.

ok, off to burlington.