Damn, J-Lo! You are...83% dateable! Attractive and confident, witty and charming, a healthy ambrosia-based diet... you're wanted in the 48 contiguous states, you slayer. Call me. Seduce me. Make me a man (or woman.) Not only do you know how to turn a guy's (or girl's) engines on, but you also know how to oil, lube and rotate it. You put the "elation" back into "relationship," and the "night" back into "one-night stand."

Your inner child is The Happy Little Bastard (NSFC). He is the perfect well-diapered machine-- greased up with a sense of wonderment about the world. With your little guy sitting in your inner-sidecar there's nowhere you can't go. Tender situations don't upset you, you are calm, cool and collected. Your parents treated you well and you don't have any presiding phobias or issues. Everything is fine and great.

Don't be surprised if one day the person in the bell tower shooting at nuns and regular people is, in fact, you.