this is a prime example of mayerism at its best. although i feel extremely weirded out by the fact that he's included in rolling stone's 2002 people of the year issue (considering i rushed out to buy rolling stone's 2001 people of the year issue because it was the review for "room for squares" was the first time he was featured in the magazine--look at what's happened in exactly a year...)

John Mayer

The singer-songwriter explains how to gently deface a hotel room

You're talking to me at the very end of a page," says John Mayer. "One foot is still playing songs off of Room for Squares, the other is really in the next thing." Exhausted after nearly two full years of touring behind Room, his platinum breakthrough, Mayer reflects on his place in the musical landscape.

Describe your year in five words.

Long, colorful, juxtaposed, eggs Benedict and crowds.

What do you mean, "juxtaposed"?

It's like, if my life were a role-playing game, I'd have a bunch of magic points and not a whole bunch of hit points. Wait . . . oh, my God, I can't believe I'm making a Dungeons and Dragons reference in Rolling Stone. I think this may discount my standing as a Person of the Year. Anyway, juxtaposed: It's certain elements of my life being maintained and other parts of my life not being maintained. When I get off the road in December, I'm going to rejoin my life in 1999, the last time that I had a semblance of a domestic life. So I may have complete strangers come over and ejaculate on my comforter, just to remind me of living in hotels.

Did you destroy anything this year?

I promised I'd break a hotel-room lamp this year, but I haven't done it.

How are you going to do it?

Respectfully. I'll probably lay it down, shed a tear and put a towel over it. That's how singer-songwriters trash hotel rooms.

What's your favorite record this year?

Coldplay. It's good times 10 million.

The best show you saw?

Elton John in Richmond, Virginia. Proving to the world that if he wasn't an icon until that night he played, he was after. I love the guy to pieces.

And he loves you, too, right? Does he ever give you advice?

Elton calls at times that are almost divine, like an angel just appearing in your life. He said to me, and I will never forget it, "Welcome to the world of bullshit. You have arrived, my darling."

What's the coolest thing that happened to you this year?

I was going to Berklee College of Music in 1997. My mom and dad would give me $250 a month to spend, but I started overdrawing from the bank, so I was below broke. My dad sent me a check for $250 and wrote, "John, remember me when you go platinum." I held onto that note through everything. Two days ago, he got his platinum plaque with that very piece of paper inside the glass.