utter confusion.

vh1 had a segment during one of its shows today talking about tim and jeff buckley. michelle called me downstairs and i squealed.

now i'm in defender, trying to get all this stuff done as quickly as humanly possible so i can visit later.

i picked up a copy of the sunday free press so i could get a clipping for my portfolio...it's neat to see my story in there--but the one thing i've learned thus far in my internship is that i have no real desire to be a sportswriter. everyone in my department is cool and i enjoy it enough, but i don't get the thrill of writing about sports that i had last year when i was sports editor of the defender. i was sitting at champlain, refs were tossing their jackets right by where i was sitting, the champlain people were tossing key rings onto my deskspace and i just wasn't into the game at all. granted, my mind was elsewhere, but i digress.

michelle, meg, lars and lars' two friends came down to visit me at the free press yesterday evening and save me from a really boring day for a few minutes. we wound up wandering around the little bookstore right by disc go round (i'm sorry, "downtown discs") because it was warm in there. lars asked if any of us have read marcel proust. i laughed. yes, yes i have. about 15 lines of it, anyway...

weekend assignment for literary seductions is to read gatsby. niiiiiiice.

audiogalaxy is finally working on my computer, i'm currently getting tim buckley.

mormans rule.

if you want to play a fun game next time the olympics roll around, take a drink everytime you see a new flag during the parade of nations. sure to be a fun time.

lars is coming to smc tomorrow, and i'm going to be stuck at the champlain college basketball game and then the free press.

AURGH!!!!!!

at least i definitely know i'll be able to see him sunday...and hopefully maybe a little tomorrow, depending on when he arrives...

liz mentioned josh clayton-felt on her blog the other day, so i decided to check out his music...thank you for another musical tip, liz! amazing music...i downloaded as much as i could last night and fully plan on buying "spirit touches ground" when it is released (feb. 12--BUY IT!). pity he's no longer with us. right now, "dragonfly" is my favorite track, but they are all astounding. i haven't heard an artist i fell in love with immediately in a good long while...

defender is frustrating the hell out of me. i don't have enough time for it all, i feel like whatever i do just isn't good enough, and if paul tries to "just remind" me of something one more time, i will have an overwhelming urge to tell him that i want to "just remind" him that i don't want to do it anymore. AURGH!

met with buff today for a press release. amusement. now i clean my room because it looks like a bomb hit it.

i think i just might be able to go.

"what's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere, like your life just figured out how to get good, like, that second."
--my so-called life

DEADLINE IS NEAR: ATCA Midwest Young Critics Seminar - Cincinnati, Ohio - March 7-10, 2002

The deadline is almost here for writers interested in the ATCA-sponsored seminar in Cincinnati for young theater critics. Anyone planning to attend the March 7-10, 2002, program needs to contact the coordinators by Monday, Feb. 4. Other than modest out-of-pocket expenses, the seminar is free.

Coordinators Jackie Demaline (Cincinnati Enquirer) and Rick Pender (Cincinnati CityBeat) expect the seminar to appeal to critics with less than seven years of experience who live within driving distance of Cincinnati - Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia and Western Pennsylvania. Others are welcome if they are willing to fly to Cincinnati at their own expense (the Greater Cincinnati-Northern Kentucky International Airport, CVG, is principally served by Delta Airlines). Participants need not be ATCA members: If you know of young critics who would benefit from the seminar, please urge them to contact Pender or Demaline.

Pender and Demaline, both ATCA members and critics with many years of experience, will be joined by Larry Bommer (Chicago Reader, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Free Press) as mentors. Participants will be asked to submit 6-8 previous reviews in advance of the weekend to familiarize mentors with their writing. During the seminar, participants will see at least three plays, write about them, share their writing with mentors (in one-on-one sessions) and fellow participants, and have time for discussion of other critical and professional issues.

Cincinnati has a thriving theater scene. On March 7-10, the centerpiece of our viewing will be two plays by Carter Lewis - the world premiere of Men on the Take (the Rosenthal New Play Prize winner at the Cincinnati Playhouse) and the local premiere of Women who Steal (Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati). One or two additional performances will be chosen from productions of Othello (Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival), She Loves Me (University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music), Ten Little Indians (Cincinnati Playhouse), Woman in Mind (Ovation Theatre Company) and a ballet of Dracula (Cincinnati Ballet).

The Crown Plaza Hotel, located on Sixth Street in the heart of downtown Cincinnati, has graciously provided rooms at no expense for seminar participants. Some meals will be provided; participants are asked to bring approximately $100 for several meals in moderately-priced restaurants.

Participants should plan to arrive by 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 7; seminar activities will conclude by 1:00 p.m. on Sunday, March 10. Participants wishing to see a matinee at one of several theaters on Sunday afternoon will have that option.

mary sent me notice of this--i want to go. i already contacted rick and jackie, left messages about it. i don't know if it's at all possible--i can't really swing airfare and spending money--but i really, really, really want to.

listening to: rainy day, guster (from my unofficial "life as a house" soundtrack)

user support discussion topic of the day: whether dinosaur spagettios taste better than regular spagettios. after eric figured out how to heat the dinos, we found that they do, in fact, taste better.

sophisticated college discussion at its finest...

the first defender came out very, very well. it's sparked a great deal of discussion, that's for sure...

hey, you wanted real news...

i don't know if it's just that i'm too tired to really give a damn or what, but today has been one of those days where i feel completely invincible. i'm enjoying work, laughing at the calls i have to try to respond to, i'm awake (for the time being) and i'm happy.

and every dream, every, is just a dream after all
and everything stands so still when you dance
everything spins so fast
and the night's in a paper cup
when you want it to last
- heather nova

i've decided to give up on the notion of sleep. at least, no sleep until sunrise. it's been too long since i was a vampire, and, although i've found it's almost like riding a bicycle, my schedule seems to be telling me that there's no reason to sleep while it's dark outside.

first defender is at the printer--shouldn't be any problems (knock on wood). i think the naysayers who bashed the defender for not publishing real news are going to be very surprised. and frankly, i'm looking forward to the response to my editorial. you want us covering the news, you've got it, buddy. :)

today is going to be a busy day. i'm working here until 5, then working f-style from 7 to 11. at some point, i need to write a 2-page response paper about proust's swann's way for literary seductions, but i haven't even really opened up the book yet. this will be an example of bullshit at its finest. and i already told paul to stop by the sports department tonight to make sure i'm awake. i thought we decided that there would be no more 5 a.m. defender mondays...

let another semester of defender officially begin...

all i've wanted to do for the last day and a half is sleep. this does not mix well with defender production days.

i'm currently a zombie, hopefully the paper will be a success.

that is all.

ACTF was another fun, much-needed week. it was great to get away from everything for a few days--defender, classes, free press, all of it. i was able to spend as much time as i wanted doing what i love to do--write, see theatre, meet hilarious people and just have fun. i didn't have responsibilities. i could stay up all night drinking or talking or writing in my journal and it didn't affect me or my work negatively.

it's not Real Life, and that's why i love it. everyone does crazy, irrational things and the justification is simply, "hey, it's ACTF. why not?"

during the past two regional festivals, i've been nothing but happy with who i am. here, i struggle with relationships and never feel like i have enough time for everything i want to do. i'm still, much as i try otherwise, shy. i can't walk up to a complete stranger and start a conversation, but there, i can.

i'm such a wise-ass there. i'm assertive and i make acquaintances relatively easily. it's interesting to see what people who meet me there think of me--it's a chance to see how the others perceive me and if i'm happy with how they perceive me. during a conversation with lars last night, he told me that i'm a big ray of sunshine and someone that people just want to know because i make things seem better somehow. it was one of the nicest compliments i've ever received.

coming back from the festival is hard, because getting back into the swing of things is a pain in the ass. i'm exhausted, i know i have a million things to do and the people i've been spending time with are now states away from me. it's somewhat depressing to know that i only get five days out of the year to live in that somewhat-warped version of reality.

but at the same point, if it was any more than that, the novelty would wear off. i can't stay up all night and write forever while having conversations about theatre or anything with random people because i'd get tired, the writing would get boring and the people would start to piss me off eventually. the thing about ACTF is to remember how i felt during those days and try to apply it to the rest of my life as much as possible. trying to bridge the gap, i suppose.

now that i've waxed philosophical, the basis summary of the week: a blast. met a ton of cool people (personal favorite is bobby, who, by the end of my time at the stonehill party last night, was proclaiming, "I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!" reminded me of joe o'leary--great guy. going to be a great actor.), wrote and wrote (both the critics' workshop and in my much-neglected journal--it felt so good to have a chance to jot down my thoughts), saw people from last year and got to know st. mike's people better this year (while we've always been friends, i now adore christine--i got back from defender tonight and had a note from her on my desk--such a sweetheart). we st. mike's people have such a good reputation at the festival--by the end of the week, if i told anyone i was from st. mike's, they would start going off on how nice and fun and supportive and alltogether kickass we are. made me happy.

i was able to spend more time with lars over the last few days, which was great. he's a great guy. :) he's going to try to get up here this weekend because meg wants him to come along to a rave in montreal--what i would give to not be working--and he told me that he's got to get the time off at work, but that he wants to come up here. i hope he can.

i'm going back to washington in april--won the workshop again. i honestly didn't think i would--all three of us had different qualities to bring to the workshop, and there were no guarantees. i'm proud of baz--she worked her arse off in the workshop, and it showed. i learned things about writing from her that i don't think she realizes. and the other guy? he and suzanne definitely opened my eyes to see that the stereotypical "theat-AH" people are still out there and they are still just as blindly snobbish as they've ever been. might be harsh words, but i think they are very accurate.

the best congratulations came from kirk this morning as i walked back to my room. jonathan and joe were laughing at me, kirk noticed me and said, "hey vic, congratulations!!!" jon and joe started laughing hysterically while i thanked kirk and hit them.

but now, the lack of sleep from the past couple of days (hour and a half the night before last, last night and today i slept from 7:15 am to 8:00 a.m., 9-11 a.m. (car ride home) and 4:45-6:45--paul ordered me to go home from defender and nap) and the normal routine of my life is making me tired. time for bed. classes tomorrow.

hahahaha--you thought i'd go through ACTF without finding a computer to blog with...but NO! here i am, coming at you live from keene state.

the festival is great fun. the people are cool, the weather is wretched at the moment (rainy and icy and alltogether nasty), but the festival is fun. yes, james dean is back, yes, i'm resorting right back to how i was last year. :) it's certainly been interesting to talk to him--i don't know what it is about him, but it's just so much fun to play this game and see what comes of it. and he's incredibly hot. not gonna lie about it.

i don't have much time for anything else right now--getting ready to head over to the wright theater for a show--i must get my critic hat on...

it feels so good to be back. :):):) i can't believe it's already friday...

the annual night-before-ACTF-and-vickie's-up-all-night tradition is underway.

senior sem proposal: done.
resume: just about done.
packing: haven't even started.
other things: i'm screwed.

i hope to be in bed by 4. really, really hoping.

i'm sitting here at the f, biting my fingernails wondering how the secretariat meeting is going...this is so frustrating!!!! wishing my joey and chucky all the best of luck...

i'm also waiting to see what t thinks of my first article. it wasn't an incredibly difficult story to write, and i think i did a good job, but i'm sitting here waiting for the "OK, good, but..."

ACTF tomorrow. very excited. presented today. didn't sneer, but did have a puppy-like yelp where the scream was supposed to go. i will have a full-out scream for wednesday.

work, then finish proposal for senior sem, emailing pat about work, packing, emailing resume, finishing up stuff, then sleep at some point. hopefully i won't run into a doorframe and kick the shit out of two toes this time (not like i've done that any other time, obviously...riiiiiight.)

last night was highly amusing. and yes, i did pay the price today.

senior social. i wore my "rock star" pants. these pants are wonderful and i love them dearly, but by the end of the night, the things are fucking HOT. i willingly changed into a short black skirt before going to the after-party (and having to walk across campus to reach said party). yeah.

the quote of the night came on the walk home. i was trying to say "i'm cocked" (which right there shows you how fucked up i was, if i was actually trying to use the expression "cocked"), but it came out more like "cauuuuuuucked" (like i had a really weird boston accent thing going on). so naturally, i had to use this expression from then on. i put it up as an away message, to which bethy asked me why i wrote that i was "caaaaaaaaaked". so then i had to say, "i'm so CAKED".

salsa con queso was unsuccessful--woke up today feeling like i wanted to curl up under a rock somewhere. had too much shit to do, no physical capability to do any of it. note to self: go to bed before 4. but after meeting jacques (the original jaccques, that is) and a ton of alleve, i went to get a haircut, which is a great cure for a hangover. walk in feeling like shit, walk out feeling like a million dollars. fortunately, i had a great woman cut my hair and i didn't have to go through the whole "i don't want to talk to you but you're making idle chitchat while you cut my hair with sharp objects so i'll chat back." she was cool, a blast to talk to. gold star for her.

i'm really excited about ACTF, drew's audition is going to be tight. we present to the acting I class tomorrow. eeek!

and before i go to ACTF on tuesday, i must finish my free press story, work on the senior sem proposal, buy necessary items, work on necessary things, AND try to get some of my literary seductions reading done. oh wait, and attend various functions.

..................