Exercise in memory #1

status check - Contemplative
background ambiance - DMB, "Warehouse"

1999
I think Josh was surprised when I offered to move to the main stage alone, thus letting him enjoy the end of Everclear's set. Considering the travesty my sense of navigation had already proven to be, the fact that I was willing to get lost again, just for the sake of seeing a set in its entirety, demonstrated how determined I was to finally see the band. He laughingly refused to let me wander by myself and agreed to attend the set with me.

We walked from the west stage as Everclear finished with "Local God." I sang along to the words, thrilled that the song had actually made it into the setlist. As the guitar riffs faded behind us, the sound of cheers ahead grew and, after passing the overpriced concourse booths, I saw a huge swell of people moving to the tie-dye backdrop stage.

We moved to the house left side of the crowd, walking along the series of wall petitions set up to keep us in and non-ticketholders out. Scattered groups of weary-but-drunk spectators were perched at the top of the walls - Josh thought that taking a similar approach would be our best bet for seeing anything. I agreed and we climbed a metal lattice of pipes until we were sitting on a thick, sun-warmed iron rod. Perfect timing, as the band was just taking the stage.

I watched a small figure, clad in a blue shirt, come onto the stage and started cheering along the other 150,000 or so gathered. Josh smirked at the rapt expression on my face, but I ignored his attempts at cynicism. That he was actually there to hear it all was victory enough for me - didn't need to convert him to a fan.

Hearing the violin fill the outdoor space for the first time was the key moment - I'd spent so much time hearing that raw sound piped through CD player and computer speakers over the previous year that I almost couldn't believe it was being generated live in front of me. Dave rambled and scat-spoke through most of the set, the indescipherable one-sided conversation demonstrating just how much he was feeling the Woodstock spirit. I focused on following his figure on the stage, ignoring the large projection screen to the side. I'd spent enough time seeing him on monitors - it seemed cheap to rely on television cameras when I was actually there.

Still a relative newcomer to the band, I waited anxiously to see if they'd perform "Watchtower." Naturally they did, but I was surprised to discover that I enjoyed the performance of "Ants Marching" all the more. I clasped my hands on the hot metal supporting me as I bobbed my head and sang along - and I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that Josh was actually nodding in time to the beat as well. Although he later denied any such perceived appreciation for the music.

2001
The summer sun was starting to fade, allowing weak breezes to infiltrate the parking lot. My head ached - too much activity, too much travel during the hours that led me here. I was sure the swigs of Sour Apple Pucker consumed from the backseat of the car during the drive over hadn't helped matters. Too sweet, too sticky, too hot for June and the warm car hood on which the four of us sat.

It was be pointless to give in to the aches right now, as there was nowhere I'd be able to go and little I could do for them anyway.

As the temperature slowly dropped, we entered the stadium and found our seats. My head cleared and I laughed as I looked over the crowd, amazed that a full Foxboro Stadium could ever seem like a small crowd. Compared to Woodstock, however, it was.

The stage was flanked by futuristic Grecian columns, tubes of fabric that tapered in their centers. Michelle and I laughed when we both commented that the first thing we thought of were the absurd "funnels" that hung from our college cafeteria ceiling. As the sky flushed in shades of purple and blue, the band took the stage and lights flashed over the columns, the stage, and the band. They started with "Rapunzel" and led into "When the World Ends" - my two favorite songs off "Everyday." Michelle laughed as I grinned and began to dance along.

If I focused on the stage, I'd only follow the movement of the light show - I'd become hooked on examining the technical side of performances over the course of the previous year - so I allowed myself to watch the projection screens - laughing at Carter's infectious grin, smiling at Stefan's intense head bobs and cheering at Dave's crooked smile. I sang along with the fans around us - all seemingly more interested in letting the music serve as the soundtrack to the experience, rather than keeping their eyes on the stage.

Except for the guys who kept yelling, "PLAY SPOON!"

We ran into a friend from college in the concourse, and he raised his hands, both clutching full, foamy cups of beer, when he saw us. "HEY!!!!" He hugged us both - spilled beer on us both, but the cool liquid felt good with the summer night heat.

2002
I stared at the temperature gauge and urged it to go down. We were parked, for all intensive purposes, in the turning lane, waiting to drive down the winding road the led to the venue parking lots. My car, which had performed so brilliantly during most of the two-hour drive, seemed perilously close to overheating.

We all rolled down the windows and did what we could to cool things, but at that point, there's little to be done. A late July afternoon in upstate New York, surrounded by other, equally broiling cars. I cursed the car for not having air conditioning - then promptly apologized when the temperature gauge crept up a bit more.

We finally pulled into the entranceway and crept past the parks and picnic tables. The venue was hidden behind a good mile of recreation areas and clusters of trees - while it was a pretty drive and fine at a slow speed going in, it was going to be a bitch when we'd try to leave.

Flashing lights in the opposite lane behind me - we all turned to watch a police car escort a large, purple tour bus with tinted windows - the four of us squealed and playfully waved at the musicians we assumed were inside. Even Becca got into it, despite her reservations about the band. She'd come with us for the experience of it - and with the hopes of hearing the one Dave song she genuinely enjoyed, "Dancing Nancies." I'd spent much of the day hoping she'd be able to hear it - despite the fact that the band hadn't performed it for over a year.

After finding a parking spot and louging in the sunshine with sandwiches and drinks, we headed into the venue to find a spot on the gently inclining hill. I hadn't seen anything like this venue before - a structure at the bottom of the hill held seats, but the hill cut into the side of the building, forcing a large hole in the near wall that allowed spectators outside the actual building a view of the stage below. We were among the lawn people.

Michelle, Beth, Becca and I spread out on blankets and chatted before the show began and crowds around us stood to dance to the evening's music. I rediscovered my love for "Warehouse" early in the set and cheered loudly to the Ben & Jerry's reference before "One Sweet World." Beth and Michelle seemed into the music, but Becca's face dropped slightly each time a new song other than "Nancies" began.

After singing along to "Ants Marching," Becca said she was OK with the fact that "Nancies" wouldn't be played. I grimaced, feeling disappointed that she wasn't feeling the same sense of exhileration I was.

When the band took the stage again for the encore, Dave tuned his guitar and began plucking out notes. Becca's eyes flickered toward the stage in surprise before all four of us instinctively shrieked. He was teasing "Nancies" - Becca's face shone as she stared with delight at the projection screen, mouthing along the words.

As we waited to crawl out of the venue (car still over-heating), she said she was pretty impressed with DMB after all.

-------------------
I realized this morning, upon seeing announced DMB dates, that I haven't seen the band in nearly three years. Doesn't feel like it was that long ago, but hey, the calendar doesn't lie...

Who's up for going to a show? Boston and SPAC are both on weekends, and I'm up for it...

Click, click, click...

status check - Decent
background ambiance - Nothing of particular note

I just yawned and relished the opportunity to do so. Don't think I'll have time to do so again until maybe next Monday.

During the misadventured jaunt in Boston this weekend, Michelle and I rode in a car back to her flat. I was outlining the upcoming week. Every day through Friday is jam-bloody-packed. Ridiculously so. Once I make it to Friday, I'm golden.

Just need to make it there with most of my sanity in check.

"How are you feeling about that?" she asked me.

"Much like I'm at the top of a roller coaster hill," I replied. "Actually, no. I'm not quite at the top yet. The gears are making that slow clicking sound and my stomach's already starting to drop, even though the car is still moving up."

Consider this the final click before the plunge.

Streak. Broken

status check - annoyed
background ambiance - Clint acceptance speech

DAMN YOU, EASTWOOD!!!

Little gold men

status check - Self-loathing
background ambiance - Oscars

I was keeping track of my thoughts on the Oscars, until I realized I was 2-for-2 on the night and I was going to ruin my streak shortly. I decided to quit while I was ahead.

But quick notes:

- I fell in love with Chris Rock's hosting the second he started with "Sit yo asses DOWN!" (8:34 p.m. EST)
- Screens on the ceiling and the floor. Gratuitous, much?
- "Aviator" is kicking ass!
- Renee. Eat. You'll feel better. Trust me.
- The back of the house awarding? Beyond lame.
- NO MORE BEYONCE.
- I'm a big fan of the three-piece suit/tuxedo as a general rule (it's all about the vest, I'm a sucker for 'em). But put Orlando Bloom in a three-piece tuxedo and I'm down for the count. I focused on him, rather than Kirsten Dunst and her version of my haircut. Beth commentary: "Your hair is cuter. But yeah, they're sleeping together."
- Counting Crows = love. Beth on Adam Duritz: "He looks better from way back, like when we saw him at SPAC."
- "Sideways" wins its one award at 9:44. "Siderman 2" at 9:46.
- Michelle, you and I both know Jake is fine any damn way he wants his hair to be. Don't deny it.
- Did I mention no more Beyonce?

C'est la vie

status check - Bemused
background ambiance - Academy Awards pre-show

Had I been smart, I would have looked at the calendar, thought back three years and realized something would get screwed up with any attempt to go to a show.

Feb. 26, 2002 - The Providence John Mayer Debacle
Feb. 26, 2005 - The Boston "We have tickets oh wait no we still don't afterall" Averi Debacle.

Long story short? Wound up making an impromptu trip to Boston, thinking we'd scored tickets after all. Found out we didn't right about the time I saw the skyline.

Whoops!

But now? Oscars. I'm a junkie for them every year - this year's no different. Pre-show analysis? Don't dig Hillary's gown. Love Kirsten's. Laura Linney - NO TAUPE ON OSCAR NIGHT! Remember Jennifer Connelly!

And the annual Oscar predictions?

Best Picture - Million Dollar Baby
Best Director - SCORCESE! Finally!
Best Actor - Jamie Foxx
Best Actress - Hillary Swank
Best Supporting Actress - Cate Blanchett
Best Supporting Actor - Morgan Freeman

For Your Consideration

status check - Amused
background ambiance - Tristan Prettyman, "November"

It's the weekend and I'm officially in relaxation mode. On the horizon - writing, shopping and otherwise luxuriating before the chaos that begins on Monday.

But I leave you with this to mull over on the weekend, so you have something to tide yourselves over until I report back with the latest from the frozen north.

Whale-hunting in landlocked Utah

p.s. I'm on the lookout for plays to read. Suggestions from the theatrically-minded portion of the readership?

Propsects

status check - Pleased
background ambiance - The Charlatans, "Impossible"

Amazing how much easier it is to get through the mundane when you have things to look forward to. All the more so when it's great music.

Coming up:
3.3 - Martin Sexton (I've wanted to see him for years)
3.4 - Averi/Tides
3.17 - Ryan Montbleau (always a good time)
3.20 - Catie Curtis
3.23 - Cary Brothers (I still can't believe he's the opener for VC)
4.12 - Tori Amos (How can she try to top previous Tori shows? Solo. With Matt Nathanson opening. Solo. Swoon.)
4.14 - Ben Lee (first time seeing him since the car hood encore)

Made In England

status check - Decent
background ambiance - The Charlatans, "Impossible"

I rediscovered the Charlatans recently, after I found my copy of the Arcadia soundtrack.

My college theater department decided to produce the play during my senior year - after experiencing most of the backstage roles for several years, I was able to experience the process onstage. I played Chloe, the 18-year-old "old enough to vote on her back." British accent and all.

During the rehearsal process, my director asked the cast to make a list of music we listened to or thought of while getting into our characters and learning our lines. Ultimately, we each submitted a song or two for a compliation that became the house music and our soundtrack.

I'd started listening to the Charlatans right around the same time, and I'd become hooked on "The Blonde Waltz." I came to associate it with the character and, thus, added it to the soundtrack.

But I'd never been able to actually find the album on which it appeared.

Sometime between now and then, I forgot about it. Didn't even think about it until I popped in the Arcadia disc to rock out to "Shameless." The song came on and I was in disbelief about having let such a good song slip my mind.

Thanks to the wonders of Ebay (and my flatmate, who uses Ebay like it's her job), a small parcel from California arrived last night. I tore open the envelope and gleefully trilled over the "Made in England" sticker on back. "Us and Us Only"! It arrived!

And it's been worth the wait. The Charlatans have this quasi-Elliott Smith, quasi-Bob Dylan, quasi-Travis sound that just makes me happy.

In that British alternarock mellow and melancholy bittersweet way.

The whole world is like a postcard / Easy lost and easy to reach / And if this is where you're going / I will surely leave

Turn the dial

status check - Tired (but caffeinated - huzzah!)
background ambiance - Phish, "Down With Disease"

Don't expect much brilliance, wit or candor today - the day began at 6 a.m., I'm not a morning person and I consider consciousness to be a significant achievement.

That said. I've driven more in the last three days than...well, than I've driven in a long time without a trip to Boston involved.

I don't generally listen to the radio much these days - most of my favorites don't appear regularly (if ever) on the radio stations around here, so I just happily sing along to my CDs during travels. But, in my half-awake state early (eeeeeearly) this morning, I forgot to bring additional CDs with me for the day's travels. I only had one in the car. No matter how much I may enjoy an album, listening to it non-stop for a long period of time gets old. So I decided to give radio a shot. Random notes from this radio foray:

Kudos to one of the stations for busting out some Spin Doctors. I still can't listen to "Bigger Than My Body" without laughing, but I realized today that I don't mind the lyrics as much as I'd thought. It's just the falsetto in the chorus that really irks me. The Point's "Hot Lunch Special" was presented with a magic theme (and included Ben Folds Five, John Fogerty, Badly Drawn Boy and the Beatles! Hurrah!) and the female DJ has a lovely Irish accent. I was reminded that I do in fact like two (2) Phish songs, having forgotten about "Down With Disease."

As I made my way south (I wound up awfully close to SoVo), I was able to tune into my favorite Vermont radio station (EQX) and smile at the seemingly always brilliant playlist. I made a mental note to tune into the webcast upon returning north, to actually listen to a Vermont station instead of San Diego (for once).

But the most amusing discovery? "Coin-Operated Boy." I've listened to the Dresden Dolls before, but had somehow completely missed this song. But I was laughing out loud while cresting the hills during the trip back north...I loved it.

But, then again, might just be the fact that I'm exhausted and anything can make me laugh at this point. Who knows. I'll let you be the judge.

this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.

Sigh

status check - Decent
background ambiance - Silence

Yesterday evening's excursion reminded me of one very crucial life truth.

There's no way you can be anything but relaxed when someone's washing your hair.

Get lost.

status check - Pleased
background ambiance - Ryan Montbleau, "Variety"

They told me to get lost, so I did.

For the past several hours, I've been driving. I ignored any highway signs and instead took to the backroads and byways I usually ignore for the sake of time. The point of it, I think, was to spend time wandering and exploring - looking down each sidestreet and past every possible landmark so they become as engrained in my mind as the usual places.

I decided to see how far roads actually go and what I'd find along the way. I've decided that I don't like reaching the dead ends - I prefer to imagine that the pavement carries on until they reach oceans, Canada or craggy mountains unwilling to allow their continuance.

Granted, craggy mountains aren't really New England's style, but my imagination's allowed to go a little crazy with something like that.

I really did succeed in getting lost a couple of times - as I wound up winding along a couple of rivers with absolutely no idea of where I was. Turned out that the twists and bends led me in a huge half circle, so that I wound up driving back into town at the end of a loop that surprised me.

It's interesting, the things you don't pay attention to most of the time. You're so focused on where you're going, what you need to do, that it's only when you've nothing to do that your eyes really open. So doing nothing winds up being incredibly productive.

Or insightful, anyway - which always winds up helping you out in the long run.

In other news. Snowdays are meant to be spent curled up underneath blankets with hot tea. Particularly when everyone else in the apartment (residents and teachers-on-vacation visitors) gets to have the day off. Getting into professional mode sucks when everyone else is in pajama mode.

Is it bad that I'd thought Hunter S. Thompson had already killed himself?

Now for something completely different...

status check - Thoroughly amused
background ambiance - Tristan Prettyman, "Toxic"

***Important concert news! See bottom.***

When I stopped at home to pick up my cell phone, I certainly wasn't expecting the voicemail that awaited...

I participated in an open casting call kind of thing while in D.C. nearly two years ago. I'd heard back shortly thereafter, and they'd said they were interested in me, but I'd have to hand over a hefty bit of change to do all the things they wanted me to do. Since it was kind of a fluke thing to even audition, I asked them to keep me posted and thanked them for their time.

So today I receive this message, completely out of the blue and they wanted me to come in for a screen test.

I've yet to call, but I'll have fun with it when I do. Sorry, guys, I moved to Vermont, but if you want to get someone up here, I'll do the screen test right away...

As I told my friends back then, I was laughing about how I'd changed my role in entertainment history from a "never was" to a "couldabeen."

But the call certainly made me smile.

In other news. Capitol Steps. Go see them. My flatmates and I were laughing and cheering from our spots in the front row at the Flynn last night - me particularly once a certain elected official made a cameo.

"The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. Just gone."

And, THIS JUST IN! Ooh, this is a good one. Vermont scores a coup!

Mark your calendars. March 23. Cary Brothers at Higher Ground. No Boston dates announced (at this moment anyway) - New England's spots are only Burlington and Connecticut.

This'll be a fabulous show. Hit up the show and crash at Casa de Racca!

And, finally...YANKEESREDSOXTICKETS!!!!!

TGIFBRFMT

status check - Less than an hour to go
background ambiance - Marah, "East"

Now the traffic in the flashing shadows of the final glow
Are just a rush of burning chariots driven by the ancient lure of home.
And with my hands tucked deep down in my pockets
I see my own breadth in the light
Of the east that holds and soothes me
As I spin west into friday night...

Thank God It's Friday But Really For Me Thursday.
In case you were wondering.

Timing is everything.

status check - Surprised
background ambiance - Ryan Montbleau, "Honeymoon Eyes"

Random.

I received a couple of unexpected emails earlier this week and realized I had a couple people of my own that I wanted to at least attempt to get in touch with after a bit of an absence.

I held off on doing so, however - as the week's been a somewhat chaotic web of odd situations, encounters and the like. But I kept the people in mind.

This evening, I checked my old college email (also known as the black hole of spam) for the first time in weeks. Amid career spams, Dave Matthews Band spams, Howie Day spams and the like, I noticed a forward from one of the two people I'd thought of earlier in the week.

The forward was sent less than a week ago.

I took it as a sign and finally dashed off quick emails to both, complete with the ever-so-necessary "Hey, I was thinking of you the other day..." beginning.

I hope they at least put a smile on the faces of their intended readers.

Christmas Coal in February

status check - Frustrated
background ambiance - Averi, "Hide Away"

Biting my tongue.

Late Night

status check - Hyper
background ambiance - Silence

Thinking about it after the fact...odd how you get dispatched to something and you realize that you're going in when any sane person would be getting out.

Driving down the highway, I looked out onto the fields and hills to the side, looking for the burst of orange and white that would tell me I was getting close...

And then reaching my destination, quieting my nerves and walking up the road...a vehicle was approaching, so I hurried off the road and onto what looked like a thin layer of snow...

...and realized I'd jumped into a thick, deep pile of snowy slush. The realization came the moment my feet kept going through the snow and squished into the wet mass below. Up past the ankles, up over and into the boots.

Ever graceful and poised, what do I do? Simple. I try jumping out of the slush - into more slush. Repeat previous steps three times until I make it back to the road.

Fun? Oh, you betcha...

In other news. I randomly (very randomly, actually) started humming Laundry's "Rock and Roll Stars" song this evening. And realize I couldn't remember anything but the chorus. Anyone who's heard that song remember the lyrics? I keep thinking of "Keith Moon is getting high with Bob Marley...(forget who) is riding up on his Harley." And "Sid Vicious is (forget what), breakin' all my stuff, Jim Morrison's in the corner, just tryin' to get drunk."

Clutch Hours

status check - Laughing
background ambiance - TV (Catching up on "Scrubs" - Viva la Tivo!)

You can feel it approach, the moment you start to wonder if you have a fever.

It's late at night, of course, so there's no one awake to assure you that the apartment's just warmer than usual. You're sitting on the couch, feeling your forehead with an equally flushed hand (because for whatever reason, you think you'll be able to tell) and you start to worry that you're getting sick.

There's nothing you can do about it, other than worry.

And the clutch hours have arrived. You retreat to your bedroom, where you toss and turn, unable to sleep but completely unwilling to open your window to let the cold in. It'll be too cold and you'll wind up feeling worse.

Not being able to do anything about this makes you start thinking about other things, none of which you can control. Before long, you're convinced that you're going to have a bad week. A band month. A bad series of years until, before you know it, you're middle-aged in a place by yourself with no one around to tell you if you have a fever or if the apartment's just too warm.

Somewhere in the midst of this self-doubt, as you clutch a pillow, you drift to fitful sleep.

And then you wake up in the morning, smile at the sunshine coming through your window and the drip-drop sound of the snow melting outside. You're feeling energized and bound out of bed, into the living room for a morning batch of pilates that leaves you feeling stretched out and relaxed.

With several hours before your atypical work week begins, you realize you can catch up on the episodes of "Scrubs" you haven't seen yet - and you burst into laughter upon seeing Zach Braff barechested, doing the Sprinkler in shiny green Hammer pants.

Then you remember the previous night's apprehension and stop for a moment to ponder.

Huh.

Ooh! Zach's wearing a Flava Flav clock around his neck! Hilarious!

Guess the apartment was just too warm last night.

Great Minds...

Great Minds...
Originally uploaded by alternacoustic.

I bought my flatmates a card for Valentine's Day, since I saw it and thought it was perfect. I gave it to them this evening.

Beth opened it, saw the cover and instantly smirked. Without looking inside, she marched off to her room and returned with a red envelope with my name on it. I looked inside and burst into laughter.

As you can see from our television display...

Song of the Year?!

status check - shocked
background ambiance - tv - grammy awards

Two years later and my surprise/shock is about the same.

I didn't get the "Your Body Is A Wonderland" nod - certainly don't get the "Daughters" craze. He even said he didn't think it should have been a single!

My jaw's still dropped.