V: (Answering telephone) Hello?
Mom: Are you sitting down? I have bad news.
V: What's going on? Real bad news or fake bad news?
M: Are you sitting down?
V: Fake bad news. OK. Yes, I'm sitting.
M: Your brother is smarter than you.
V: Huh?
M: He's smarter than you. You just have to accept this.
V: How is he smarter than me?
M: He got his GPA today.
V: And?
M: (Says a very admirable, magna cum laude grade point average.)
V: Oh, come on. He's a film student. All he has to do is make things pretty.
M: He said you'd say that. After all, he's smart like that. Don't worry, your father and I still love you. You're still special to us.
V: Uh, huh. Thank me for being your guinea pig.
M: What?
V: The trial run. You know, you have the first one, work out all the kinks, then have your superior child.
M: You've been a good guinea pig.
V: Thanks. Besides, it's your own fault.
M: How's that?
V: Well, if you'd wanted me to be smart, you should have pushed for me to be a lawyer or something. You know, with a lot of Latin.
M: I'm glad you're taking it so well.
V: Don't worry, if it starts to bother me, I'll consult my wiser brother. The Tommy Lama.
M: Call me later?
V: If I remember. Don't blame me if I don't. You know how it is. Remembering things is tough on my feeble little brain.
M: I love you.
V: But just remember this - I was always a smart kid! I was a marathoner! Tom's a collegiate sprinter!

(Later)
Tom: (Answering telephone) Hey sister.
V: Hey brother. Thanks a lot.
T: What?
V: I spent 25 years cultivating my reputation as a smart person. It only takes you four little years to shatter that.
T: (Laughing) Mom and Dad told you, huh?
V: Congratuations. You suck.
T: Ha. I love you too.