ok, forget discussions of how much i <3 the library of fucking congress. i abhor the library of congress.

after a long, frustrating morning, i trapse over to the loc during my lunch break, figuring i can pick up my books, head back to the building and have twenty minutes to down my salad (it's not like i'm trying to eat a five-course meal here, afterall) before heading back to work.

i pick up my books and check to make sure i don't have to do anything else before heading to the door. security stops me and says i need to get the books charged.

now i've been patient. i've been understanding. at this point, i'm pissed off.

"where do i go to charge out the books?"

down the hall to this random door. fine. i go through said door and get a look from the woman there that says, "what the hell are you doing here?" i ask to charge the books. she sends me through another door to another woman who obviously doesn't want me there. she asks what i want. i ask to charge the books. she starts to but stops, saying i don't have an account. she sends me through another door and down a hallway to a guy so i can set up an account. he doesn't want me there. i'm doing everything in my power to not scream. i get my damn account, charge my damn books, and get back to work (without eating) just in the nick of time.

AND when i get to the elevator, the damn "senators only" light is on, so i have to walk up the four flights of stairs so senators can get on on floor two and get off on floor three.

I AM PISSED.

yes, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday is continuing into today. but i will conquer these days, despite the bullshit and the fact that i'm not feeling the fact that i'm still freezing and now extremely hungry...NEAH!

i do not <3 the library of congress anymore. while i appreciate all that it offers the nation (and, since my office is just down the street, all it offers me), i went through an ordeal trying to figure out how to make the system work for me last night.

after work, i went over to the adams building (since the website said jefferson closes at 5:30 on mondays) and presented my printout sheets for the three books i wanted. the very nice gentleman working the book request desk informed me that all of the ones i wanted were in jefferson, which (contrary to the website) closes at 9:30. so i filled out the requests and he called them over for me so they'd start looking for the books while i walked over to the other building (keep in mind that i'm from vermont. walking through the tunnel from one library building to another boggles my mind). i got to the reading room in jefferson (which is absolutely GORGEOUS) and walked up to the desk to say i was waiting for my books. the people at the desk vaguely gestured to the opposite side of the desk, murmuring something about how my books would be there when they were found.

while i waited, i was roped into conversation with an older guy who wound up talking about the bullshit of the red tape that comes with so much of washington bureaucratic systems and how it all comes down to race. needless to say, i did not want to particpate in this discussion, but there was no where else i could really wait for my books, so i listened with half an ear and, when the time came, found a way to escape.

walking up to the desk again, i asked the people to explain how the system works--how long i can take out the books and whatnot. and then i find out about the stupid system they have. i had to wait for the books to arrive so i could fill out another request slip for each book, place slip in book and put the books on a shelve, where they would be processed the next morning, at which point i could take them out of the reading room. since i was there at 6:30, an hour and a half past the limit for same-day requests, i had to wait. so i had to wait until 7:10 for them to find my books, then fill out three slips of paper, shelve the books again, and leave empty-handed. and i get to walk back to the l.o.c. during my lunch hour so i can actually pick up the books and bring them home.

it's a good thing this library has almost anything i could want, because otherwise, i'd be a whole lot more angry than i was last night. it was the perfect end to a perfectly long, frustrating day--filled with phones ringing off the hooks and tension. when i got home, i went running (which my body did not want to do, but i convinced myself--and was partially right--that running would clear my head and remove some of the tension in my body. true enough, i was exhausted after a mile and a half) and then came home to make dinner and confirm flight info with my father for my trip home for thanksgiving. while making dinner, i managed to lightly cut my finger. this is not a problem normally. however when one is cutting a slice of lemon (read: citric acid), this is not fun.

but i digress. today is shaping up decently enough, i suppose--it's really starting to feel like fall, so i'm happy about that. i'm sitting here in a sweater, shivering--but that's a combination of this building being cold (a lot of marble and high ceilings makes for drafty hallways) and the fact that my mother's probably right about my having an iron deficiency. i finally had to go outside and stand in the sunshine for a few minutes because when i looked down at my hands, the fingertips, besides feeling like icicles, were bone white. i don't think that's a really good thing--time to start taking the vitamins again.

in other news...one of my roommates got her first byline in the national journal today! she is certainly deserving of a revel...revelrevel...

i <3 the library of congress. i'm going to stop over there after work this afternoon, i do believe. and i'm going to, if all things go according to plan, pick up at least "alias grace", "someone who'll watch over me" AND lee blessing's "a walk in the woods."

*squeal of delight* this is like christmas! all the things i've been wanting to read without having to either search everywhere or pay an arm and a leg for my own copies! life is good.

how does one spend one's day when working in the office? prompted by donnie darko, engaging in a deeply philosphical discussion about the sexuality of the smurfs. prompted by this quote, which i have been using as an away message all day:

First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants.

care to add your own two cents on the matter? add a comment, show you care.

hi, have i been living under a rock?!?!?

david gray will release his fifth studio album, a new day at midnight on october 5th

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

naturally i spent last night enjoying all that is the emmy awards. after all, dear "west wing"ers were up for a wonderful 21 nominations, so i had to see how many they picked up.

obviously i wanted janel to win for supporting actress, but i was very pleased to see stockard channing pick up the emmy. john spencer's win was wonderful, as was, obviously, allison janey's (see? you're press secretary, you get mad props). we won't talk about how i think martin sheen was ROBBED! but the academy made up for it by giving the show best drama. and i was happy to see jennifer aniston get her lead comedy emmy for "friends" (although i have to say, while i appreciate brad pitt--i am female, after all), is it just me or does he currently resemble leonardo dicaprio's "hi, i'm apparently trying to look like a sleezy frenchman--no offense to the french, but still).

the weekend was entertaining. another friday night on the town--happy hour at the bottom line followed by relaxation at patrick's and dancing at adam's mill. collapsed into my bed around 4 a.m.--woke up the next morning and realized that i feel old--i used to be able to do that without problem constantly--what happened?

saturday was relaxing--chloe and i made a blocbuster run and decided on donnie darko--a brilliantly interesting film that i thoroughly enjoyed. i recommend it if you like indie films--and if you like jake gyllenhaal (which i can now say i really do). i enjoyed the opportunity to just spend some time doing nothing--all i really needed to worry about was going for my runs (i'm up to running two miles now--my legs are only slightly pissed off at me and i'm a happy camper) and figuring out what i wanted to watch. while i've typically been exploring each weekend, i enjoyed not for a change.

hillary is shorter than i thought she would be.

i was talking to chloe on our way to front page last night (where, since she knew one of the bartenders, we got our cranberry vodkas in pint glasses--score!) about the tori concert, and she expressed interest in going as well. apparently fairfax is only about a half hour's drive from my apartment and she said she could drive--yeah yeah! the concert's over a month and a half away and i don't even have tickets yet, but i'm still sitting here, giddy just thinking about it...

so another friday workday comes to a close...and i prepare for another friday evening out on the town. i figure i'm fully justified in having a good time this weekend, as my parents will be in town next weekend. not that i won't have a good time having my parents here, because obviously i'm looking forward to it, but i just won't be going out (thus saving money) and whatnot--ok, i can feel the hole i'm digging growing deeper the more i try to justify what i wrote so yeah. bye. :)

i knew it would happen...

i do everything i can to get howie to play burlington again while living in vermont. three weeks after moving to washington d.c., i learn that howie will be playing higher ground in november.

but i get to see him supporting tori..

tori tour dates (try saying that five times fast)...

november 12th, i will finally have my first live tori experience. not to mention the amusing/shocking/terrifying/depressing/hysterical experience of witnessing howie day performing in a venue other than the small club/coffeehouse scene i've grown to know and love...

i'm realizing how quickly the next couple of months are going to go by. my parents are visiting next weekend to bring the rest of my belongings (wow, i'll actually feel moved in!) and enjoy some d.c. fun times...i'll be going to vermont a couple of weeks after that. michelle and beth visit over veterans' day weekend for the 203 reunion/jack johnson experience, then i'm home for thanksgiving and i'll be home again for christmas. it's strange to think about it that way...but good!

inspired by my "west wing" experience today, i visited the 2002 emmy website to see who was nominated from my show...this makes me so happy to see:

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
Alias • ABC • Touchstone Television
Victor Garber as CIA Agent Jack D. Bristow

Six Feet Under • HBO • The Greenblatt/Janollari Studios and Actual Size, Inc., in association with HBO Original Programming
Freddy Rodriguez as Federico Diaz

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Dulé Hill as Charlie Young

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
John Spencer as Leo McGarry

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Bradley Whitford as Josh Lyman

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Richard Schiff as Toby Ziegler

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Judging Amy • CBS • Barbara Hall/Joseph Stern Productions for 20th Century Fox Television in association with CBS Worldwide, Inc.
Tyne Daly as Maxine Gray

Six Feet Under • HBO • The Greenblatt/Janollari Studios and Actual Size, Inc., in association with HBO Original Programming
Lauren Ambrose as Claire Fisher

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Mary-Louise Parker as Amy Gardner

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Stockard Channing as Abigail Bartlet

The West Wing • NBC • John Wells Productions in association with Warner Bros. Televison
Janel Moloney as Donna Moss

look at that domination! lovely...

go averi!

i was just told that i look just like donna on "the west wing."

see? the new season hasn't even started yet and i'm getting signs!

if you know me, if you even REMOTELY know me, you know that i don't need to say another word about this. just laugh and "revel...revelrevel" with me.

son of a monkey's uncle--i just wrote an entry and it didn't go through.

alright, so i need some commenting love, people. and here's a little incentive:

columbus day weekend. lovin vermont style when i return to the green mountain state for a little visit. i fly out of baltimore friday night, so i'll be around saturday, sunday and early monday. a possible trip to burlington on sunday for some muddy waters, church street and waterfront action. who's game?

so i got one of these emails awhile ago from someonelikesyou.com. didn't do anything with it because you have to type in the addresses of other people and i'm not going to submit myself to passing along the chain of "ooh, someone likes you!" when i'm primarily trying to guess who sent it to me, not necessarily that i'm interested in someone else (nor would i use someonelikesyou.com as a way of confessing a crush), because that's probably how i got this, anyway--someone thought i was being a wiseass and sending something in, etc. etc. etc.

but if you know anyone between the ages of 19 and 23 who has four vowels in their first name and does happen to have a crush on me, please encourage them to contact me via some other form, because i will not be participating in this one. ;)

i had a discussion with paul near the end of last semester, discussing the transition from student to professional, where he told me that it's actually less work to be a professional than a student. you leave your work at the office, you don't have a million different responsibilities and different obligations, etc.

i acknowledge that this is true in many respects. i do get to leave my work at the office, i do get to have a few hours each night to do whatever it is that i want to do.

but i'll say this: this whole 9-5 (or in my case, 9-6) thing is kicking my ass! i'm amazed by how tiring it is and how i feel as if there really aren't enough hours in the day for everything i might like to do. let's take my 9-6 day (twice a week it's actually 8-5): i wake up around 6, get ready, eat some breakfast and walk out the door by 8, take the metro into the city and walk a couple of blocks to work. work until 6 with my hour lunch break, then walk back to the metro station and head home. a run follows (whether around my neighborhood or in the fitness room in my apartment building's sister buidling), then dinner followed by relaxation. i've been here for two and a half weeks and they've gone by pretty quickly because you get into the grind and just go go go...by the end of the week, i'm worn out! i know it's just a process of getting into the routine, but it's hard when you're first starting such a different schedule. after all, i've always been a night owl and have never needed a signficiant amount of sleep (although i've always enjoyed oversleeping from time to time), and now 11 rolls around and i'm getting ready to head to bed.

!?!??!?

but it's another monday, a new week. the weekend was pretty decent: got out of work around 4:30 and headed down to red river grill for a drink with a bunch of coworkers. then five of us headed somewhere in adams morgan, where we stayed for awhile before moving to the front page. met up with carrie and kelly (carrie's friend from undergrad) and tried to meet up with a group of carrie's friends at a place in dupont, but that kind of fell through, so we then went to the lucky bar, where we stayed for about five minutes before going to the citron cafe (a latin club slightly on the swanky side). i never barhopped before coming here, and it's an interesting experience. i know that, right now, i'd love the opportunity to just be able to sit down with some good friends and share some laughs over drinks or meet someone interesting. let's face it, i've always preferred taking it a little easy to being the wild and crazy type...but i know that doing all this now will (hopefully) pay off and i'll be able to have those chats down the road somewhere...

i decided to spend my saturday recharging the batteries and stayed in and relaxed by myself and had a nice evening of it. i had picked up a dvd at blockbuster when grocery shopping, so that night i curled up in my room and watched "the cat's meow", which i had wanted to see when it was in theaters, but couldn't find a place around home where it played. i recommend it--pretty decent film.

it was nice to relax and not run out and do anything--i have to keep in mind that there's no way i should feel as if i have to do something every weekend night. if i do, not only will i be exhausted, i will also have no money and will depress myself because i will feel compelled to be Out and With People and feel like there is something wrong if i'm not out. so i'm a fan of, unless there's something wildly exciting or somone asks me to hang out with them, spending one weekend night out and spending one weekend night relaxing and doing whatever.

i think it works out well...or at least i hope it does!

this morning is stressful...not a good start to the week!!!

SCORPIO:
Monday, September 16

You may not yet be entirely sure of the best approach to a domestic, real estate or family matter, or to a long-range goal. This is why they say patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. And this is why your horoscope says sit tight!

man killed by metro train

yeah, he jumped.

and the some of the cookies i brought into work today for the group birthday party were crushed in the commute. *pout*

is anyone else intrigued by what they're hearing about the movie "igby goes down"? i really want to see this movie when it comes out.

friday the thirteenth has always been a lucky day for me, but it started out with a less-than-stellar hour-and-a-half commute to work because someone either fell into or jumpted into the path of an oncoming subway train at union station.

NEAH!

but in better news, i'm in the middle of a little game of phone tag, which makes me happy...

if there was one thing i didn't expect to hear last night, it was "this little light of mine."

the boss let us out an hour early last night, thanking us for a job well done, so i hurried home, attempted to go for my run (although my body really wasn't feeling it at the time, so it was just an abbreviated version of my normal route), took a shower and headed back to the capitol for the candlelight vigil that had been announced at the reflecting pool. my candlelight vigil experience last year was so memorable that i wanted to be able to experience another one--albeit one that i knew would not be comparable to the previous year. more like apples and oranges.

it was a beautiful night, as the skies were clear and washington is gracefully easing from summer into autumn. i walked from union station to the west side of the capitol building, talking with a guy who was heading to the vigil as well. when i arrived at the reflecting pool, those gathered had formed a ring around the pool and had begun to light their candles. the sun was setting, so the washington monumen and lincoln memorial were illuminated by lights, white against the lilac, pink and orange sky, the candles glimmering in front (i brought my camera, so hopefully my shots will come out). there was a large group and i settled down on the steps in front of a statue so i could observe the crowd.

it started off formally enough: two military bugalists led the crowd in "america the beautiful", then walked away from each other and gave a chillingly beautiful rendition of "taps" before walking away. at that point, the vigil took a freeform turn. people started singing "god bless america," "amazing grace," the national anthem, and whatnot. because of the size of the group and the distance from one side of the pool to the other, an unintentional round of each song was the result--but it was a nice touch. it was difficult to keep the candles lit because of the breeze, but people tried and many were able to. if a candle went out, nearby flames were offered to relight it. news cameras roamed the group, capturing the expected images of hands holding candles and faces illuminated by the light. i stayed at my perch for about twenty minutes before moving about myself. i moved to a group standing in front of a backdrop of the stark white capitol against the night sky and took some pictures of the impressive sight. then i tried to relight my candle with a lighter. i was having difficulty and a cameraman was watching me try, so he lit the candle for me while i cupped my hand around it to protect the flame.

"i want this shot," he said with a smile. strange to go from covering the news to being covered--i prefer covering it, thank you very much.

and as i was leaving, someone started singing "this little light of mine." so i stopped and sang along before i headed home.

i was interested in seeing how this vigil would compare to "our" vigil, and i found it comforting in an entirely new way. at the st. michael's vigil, i knew everyone--or at least, knew of everyone--and was surrounded by close friends, sharing out shock and grief. being able to raise money for the red cross was an amazing process and increidbly uplifting. at this service, i didn't know anyone, but we had all come together to share what we did have in common--a need to remember. while there were many more people at this one, the sense of comradery was still there, but more of a dogged comradery--naturally it was not as raw as last year.

i'm certainly glad i was there. it was a surreal end to a surreal day.

it doesn't feel like it's been a year since i wrote this. yet at the same time, it feels like it happened eons ago. while any anniversary is accompanied by that paradox, today is an extreme example of it.

i know we'll all be innundated by images and thoughts and commentaries today, but it's time for my mini-commentary (it's my blog, so just deal with it). looking back now, i don't believe i ever discussed here where i was or what i was doing and whatnot. baz called at 10:20 and woke me up, telling me that something had happened at the world trade center. still half-asleep, i didn't get it. "hun, that happened back in the 90s. bomb...it was a tragedy, but it was awhile ago."

"no, a plane hit the trade center. turn on your tv."

"fine, i'll call you back."

i went downstairs in what i thought was my empty townhouse and turned on the tv to nbc, absolutely amazed/horrified/shocked by what i was seeing. katie and matt were trying to figure out what had happened, i was trying to follow them figuring it out. i went outside and spoke with soo, and when i came back inside, the second tower had collapsed (the first had already fallen). i spent the rest of the day glued to the television, just like everyone else in the country, leaving to attend a service in the chapel.

i didn't cry much or anything--i didn't know anyone who would have been in danger. the only time i remember crying was when i thought they would resume the draft, because i was worried that my brother would be drafted and something would happen to him. but i don't even believe that was on the first day--i think it was the day after. the lack of planes flying overhead was a jolt--i had grown so accustomed to the background sound of the jet engines that i hadn't noticed them until they were silenced and an eerie quiet filled the air.

and here we are, a year later. back then, i was just beginning my senior year of college. i didn't know where i would be in a year or what i would be doing--figuring out how to handle the first issue of the defender was enough of a pressing issue for me. i was surrounded by a community of friends at st. michael's, sharing the unbelievable experience with all of them and communicating with my family at home.

i didn't realize until today how today is not only the anniversary of a horrific moment in our lives, but a marker from which we can see how each of us have changed in the past year. i feel so much older now. i went from a college student in vermont to someone who is working for the very government we turned to on that day. i watched the television and saw news reports from washington--and on this september 11, i'm in washington. surreal...

i'm carrying on business as normal in the office, presently watching the pentagon memorial service on c-span. walking out of union station this morning, i took a small american flag from one of the numerous people passing them out, so the flag is currently displayed on my desk. all of the flags that are in front of the fountain in front of the station were at half mast while many people were wearing red white and blue. i personally struggled with what to wear today--much as it sounds utterly shallow--and fought my initial impulse to wear black, deciding instead to wear something lighter and cheerier in color, but still professional and tasteful enough to be respectful, considering what so many were observing. i wasn't the only one who struggled with this--i've spoken to several people who went through the same thing (which was a relief, as i felt incredibly superficial while having this internal debate).

there's a candlelight vigil at the capitol reflecting pool this evening that i plan to attend, then i'll come home, possibly run (depending on the time) and reflect, then watch the rebroadcast of "9/11" on cbs (i was only able to see bits and pieces of it the first time it aired because i had defender responsibilities to take care of). other than that, i think it's important to think and reflect on things, but also carry on as normally as possible--otherwise, we're still being attacked, in a sense.

but i hope everyone out there is safe and remembering the day in their own special ways...my parents were a little worried about me being here today, but i can say with confidence that i'm in one of the safest places in the country right now and nothing will happen today, so fear not. just take care.

the timing could not have been better.

yesterday was difficult. i hadn't slept much the night before, i was frustrated by my apparent lack of common sense--one of those inevitable days where things just don't quite work out the way they should. add to that the fact that i've had a little time to be in this new environment and try to start settling in, only to realize that there's no way i can really settle in quite yet: i still don't have things of my own in my room (as they won't be here for another couple of weeks), i don't have a comfort level at my job yet, i'm still placing faces with names and don't have anyone here that i feel completely comfortable yet (how can i? i've only been here a week and a half and have been busy running all over the place). so some homesickness and, yes, some self-pitying crept into my spirits over the course of the day. i made a couple of phone calls on my way from work to union station so i could feel connected to people i care about and planned on calling home after i went running so i could just talk to my parents and cry for a bit. nothing particularly shocking, you see, just something that was due.

so i get home and go running right away (it was gorgeous--it's slowly starting to feel a little cooler in the evenings and i was witness to a technicolor sunset, one that cast rose and amber tones onto the limestone and granite buildings in my neighborhood--lovely), running the farthest since i've been here and feeling better about it--maybe i'll touch base with my inner runner again after all--and actually ran into chloe, who was also out for a run, in my travels. i'd been planning on picking up the mail when i got in, but she beat me to it. when i returned to the apartment, i had three deliveries waiting for me on my desk.

thank you thank you thank you. becca sent me her own special form of care package ("dude, you've got a package! details inside..."), while beth sent an incredibly sweet card that made me feel as if the card makers had the two of us in mind when creating it--so appropriate it's almost frightening! meanwhile, i had a note from the fuck yeah tour waiting for me, as well as some of the munchies to stock up my supplies in the kitchen. to have love and votes of confidence from back home arrive on just the day that i needed them most--it could not have been a better series of surprises. thank you!

i was riding into work yesterday when an attractive guy, probably mid- to later-twenties sat next to me. as i sat there, i instinctively glanced at his left hand. no ring, i thought to myself with a smile. then i realized that, without thinking, i had checked to see if someone i found attractive was married. and i felt incredibly, shockingly old.

random moments.

oh! before i forget: veterans' day weekend. d.c. jack johnson at 9:30 club, 203 reunion--i'm all about it (aboot it), so let's plan for it! very, very excited me.

you're having a rough day, it feels like you've got a cloud over your head, and then, all of a sudden, there's this bright ray of perfect-wave-surfing-palm-tree sunshine that breaks up the gray.

fun times this weekend.

friday night's happy hour turned into friday night's debauchery. went to buffalo billiards with a bunch of people from work for the "welcome to the group vickie and dan" happy hour. it was nice to be able to see how people from the office interact outside of the office...then erica, her roommate carrie and i went to lucky's bar for an event held by carrie's law school (or something along those lines). after a little bit of time there, we moved on to dan's cafe in adams morgan to meet up wtih the office group again. dan's cafe is home to the flask and bucket special. for twelve dollars, one gets a glass of the alcohol of one's choice, a chaser, two glasses and a small bucket of ice. while i did not partake in said special (yet--after such a long, emotionally draining week, i had a few drinks at happy hour and realized i would be on my way to a bad drunken stupor instead of a good one, so i made sure to remain only buzzed), i did witness it and know that i will partake at some point in the future. then we all headed to patrick's for a party there, where fun times were had. while heading back to respective apartments, e & c & i experienced the "big slice" at pizza mart--for three dollars, you get a slice of pizza that must be three times larger than any other slice of pizza i have ever seen. we're talking mammoth, gigantic, colossal proportions here. and when you're buzzing, it is tastier than any pizza i've had in a good long while (although i will say that i don't know if it quite hit the spot like manhattan's pizza in burlington after a knock-you-on-your-ass long island iced tea).

walking around the streets of adams morgan was amazing--the area was pulsing with life. people pouring out of bars, clubs, restaurants onto the sidewalks, blowing away the steam from the pizza slices that precariously balanced on thin paper plates and squares of aluminum foil. cars attempting to dodge the people who moved out into the street, honking horns that blended in with the bass pumping from the bars--it was an amazing explosion for each of my senses. if i ever get to the point where i take something like that for granted, i need to leave immediately.

i woke up pretty early on saturday and went for a run, then relaxed for awhile before heading out to find dccd, a music store i had read about online. this place rules--the underground, badass, shades of "high fidelity" place i've been searching for. it's a bit of a hike to get to from the metro (i thought it was closer to dupont, but it's actually in adams morgan), but so worth it. good prices, good selections. different bands i'd heard of but could never find much information about--wilco, spoon, finch, etc.--and they've got it there. and there are stations set up where you can sit down, relax and listen to one of five cds they have at that particular station, so i listened to "rush of blood to the head"--coldplay takes the next step, fucking brilliant--and the latest wilco--i've got to get it at some point soon. howie's album was available to listen to at one of the stations--i couldn't help but laugh.

wound up going to eastern market shortly thereafter to experience everything available there on the weekends--fell in love with that as well. there's a market area that sells produce, meat, breads, flowers--you name it--inside during the week, but during the weekends, vendors open up shops all around the outside of the market. you'd think it's your typical farmer's market type deal, but there's something about the atmosphere that gives it a special feel. i got such a kick out of being able to look through the vegetables and fruits...moving on to the craft stalls across the street to see what special little trinkets are available...

relaxed at home saturday night for most of the time...chloe, nicole and i went to bethesda and hit up ben & jerry's (aw...vermont!), but it was nice to just relax and watch television and not have to do anything.

and then there was sunday. around 1 maybe, i get voicemail from the fuck yeah tour (meg, christine, the guy, jesus kleist) with the announcement that they're on their way to d.c. yeah yeah! they arrived at casa victoria, relaxed for a bit, then we headed out to do the sightseeing thing (the mall and surrounding monuments). got back to my metro and raced to chipotle, praying it was still open (score--it's open til 10, even on sundays) and i introduced them to my new favorite mexican-type food. after searching for a grocery store that was still open, christine and i left everyone else at the apartment, hopped on bikes and rode farther up the street, searching for the market the guy from clyde's said would be our best bet to buy beer. after passing two closed liquor stores and riding uphill (hello, watery legs), we wound up at a 24-hour cvs and learned that there was nowhere in the area that would sell this late on sunday. but at least it was an adventure...spent the rest of the night playing some card games with the beer the tour still had in mary jane (and a little rum for me) and all fell asleep in my room watching "the family guy" (i got a special episode played for me: the episode where he becomes a lobbyist for the tobacco industry on capitol hill).

i will admit that i had a brief relapse of sorts (put two and two together and you'll know what i'm talking about), but it was only for the night and i am right back on track. not overly thrilled with myself in that respect, but what are you going to do?

you can tell when i'm missing the internet, when i have to blog about my entire weekend--but it was a very good time and it was wonderful to have some st. michael's life in the area--i had a great time but also realized how much i miss everyone. hearing about who the gang ran into during their road trip and how everyone's doing--it was comforting, but also made me realize that people are starting their new lives in different places--and i want to be able to at least know how they are all doing.

so yeah, that's where i'm at right now. another day, another week, another set of adventures just around the bend. i'm hoping the gang stops by the office around my lunch break so i can see them before they head off, but regardless, it was great to be able to have my first houseguests and show someone a bit of my area of the city (as much of it as i happen to know, that is). it was just great to have some friends around that i'm not still in the process of getting to know. a comfort that came at a great time.

revel...revelrevel.

can't you see that i want to be there with open arms?
it's empty tonight, and i'm all alone
get me through this one

do you notice i'm gone?
"where do you run to, so far away?"

i want you to know that i miss you
i miss you so
i want you to know that i miss you
i miss you so

i'm writing again
these letters to you, aren't much i know
but I'm not sleeping, and you're not here
the thought stops my heart

do you notice i'm gone?
"where do you run to, so far away?"

i want you to know that i miss you
i miss you so
- finch, letters to you

i like that song. and i like the prospects of this evening: happy hour at buffalo billiards followed by other forms of drunken debauchery, it seems...bwahahaha...

i'm checking out eastern market this weekend, exploring, hopefully making a trip to the kennedy center and trying to find independent music stores...revelrevel...

SCORPIO:
Friday, September 6

You know how you said you wanted new contacts, new excitement, new affiliations and new intrigue? Well, thanks to the New Moon, you are about to receive these in spades. Better yet, some of these chills, thrills, excitement and activities will really appeal, and may turn out to be lasting and profitable.

groovy.

Man with 16 guns arrested in D.C.

whoo hoo!!!!!!! now if it had been 20, i might have been concerned.

i am driving up 85 in the
kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
four more exits to my apartment but
i am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

cause i wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am i living it right?
am i living it right?
am i living it right?
why georgia, why?

i rent a room and i fill the spaces with
wooden places to make it feel like home
but all i feel is alone
it might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul

either way i wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am i living it right?
am i living it right?
am i living it right?
why georgia, why?

so what, so i've got a smile on
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
don't believe me
when i say i've got it down

everybody is just a stranger but
that's the danger in going my own way
i guess it's the price i have to pay
still "everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask myself

if i am living it right
am i living it right?
am i living it right?
why georgia, why?

it amazes me how much a song i've listened to regularly for almost two years now is just not resonating with me on such a completely different level. i listen to it every day.

greetings from d.c...no, i have not fallen off the face of the planet or been mugged or gotten lost on the metro. i am, for the time being, simply without internet access at home (the horror of horrors for me, one would think, but i'm handling it remarkably well, i'd like to think). today is my first day at work and i'm getting used to things and figuring out what the routine is--and growing accustomed to my "professional" wardrobe (i'll admit it, i still almost do a doubletake when i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or a reflection). a few thoughts about the past days:

- roommates are cool, room is cool, apartment is cool.
- the cheesecake factory: the second coming of carbur's. the menu has ADVERTISEMENTS IN IT.
- like the legions of other d.c.-area types, i'm running every other day. stop laughing.
- i have everything i could possibly need as far as resources within a walking distance of my place. this is very odd to me, but i like it. a lot.
- dupont circle: fuuuun on a saturday night.

i'm enjoying myself well enough, but it's hard to be away from everyone. my cell phone doesn't work in my apartment (not yet, anyway, and not to mention that i can't find my phone charger--grrrr) and, after i do something or see something or come home, i expect my family to be around or my friends to be a short distance away. it takes a moment for me to realize that they're not--and it's very bittersweet. i've always thought that life is supposed to completely consume you--there's always supposed to be something going on, some adventure or, at least, some burden to deal with. i'm already realizing that this isn't always the case--there's downtime and times where you don't have things pressing on you.

now me? i like keeping busy (i know, surprise surprise) and knowing that i have things to do because that way i'm constantly stimulated. and involved with people and interacting. so i think that i'm going to be looking for things to do in the coming weeks--maybe a weekend job that's fun or volunteer work--i don't know, just something. but then again, i don't know exactly what's coming up for me--meeting new people and whatnot--so i can't do that right away.

yet i feel like there's this big ol' city in front of me, filled with all of these people, and i'm wondering how on earth i'm going to track down some of those people to call my own. it's not as if it's like college, when we were all together in this little community and we couldn't NOT get to know each other because we were falling all over each other. here i feel as if i'm supposed to do something to find people...but i'm not sure of exactly what. so, for right now, i'm going to just keep what i'm doing and hope that i'm doing it right. what else can i really do? after all, i've only been here a few days...

so yeah...d.c. is a bit intimidating, a bit frightening, but exhilerating as well. this morning i packed my lunch, grabbed my carryall bag and bought a copy of the post to read while i rode into the city on the metro. it was my first experience as a full-fledged commuter. definitely a change of pace and made me realize (as if i hadn't already, but you know what i mean) that i'm officially a city-dweller. how crazy is this?!?

i'm taking a break from the packing process (well, i'm just about finished with packing, it's more of the loading up the car process, but i digress) to quickly fill you in on the latest example of bostonian debauchery--as well as my preparations for leaving (which occurs in a few hours--yeah, i doubt i'm sleeping tonight too).

but before d.c., boston: once again, averi kicked some concert arse with their performance at the house of blues. i actually love the venue--kind of rustic/laidback/intimate/casual--michelle called it "almost divey, but not really," which i think fits it really well. the basement and main floors of the building serve as dining space while the second and third floors are performance space (second floor has the stage, third is dressing room area). the band packed in a good crowd and delivered a fantastic performance. they played every track off of "direction of motion" (if not all ten, then nine of the ten), as well as two new songs (i love "she waits"), the "with or without you" cover, "garden of eden" and "despondent" and chad performed a solo acoustic song. the band was obviously having a blast--just watching the look of joy wash over their faces as the crowd sang along and cheered was wonderful.

it was a great night--definitely worth the trip. it was great to see the band perform once more before i leave (while i hope i can see them again soon, who knows, right?), it was good to be able to talk to chad a little bit and it was wonderful to be able to have one last boston adventure with my concert-going partner in crime michelle. from wandering harvard square (i want to go back sometime, i was intrigued by the area) to hoping against hope that we didn't miss the last t and all the laughs along the way, i had a great, great time.

after waking up far too early and making the trip back to vermont, today has been rough--putting it mildly. it's a lot easier to think about moving when there's more than 24 hours before said move. besides feeling like i don't have everything done and the apprehension of "what if they all hate me?", there's the horrible process of saying goodbyes. not that seeing people is horrible, obviously, but i suck at goodbyes. comes with the overdramatic sap character trait. needless to say, i've been crying all day. but it's not entirely my fault! everyone's been incredibly sweet. said goodbye to michelle this morning, was listening to the radio and i heard "ghost" for the first time (on the radio, that is). the whole "wow, everything's changing so quickly" thought popped into my head and boom--i cried. mike had asked me to stop into work, so when i did, becky gave me a scrapbook she had made for me. it was covered with winnie-the-pooh (a.a. milne style, not disney--score) fabric and has a gorgeous maya angelou quote on it and has colored pencils, a glue stick--the works--inside. everyone signed it and wished me well--i cried. met up with becca and baz to hang out for a bit and say so long for now--cried in the car. got to bethy's, talked and watched a bit of the vma's before saying goodbye--cried at her house and in the car. got a couple of emails that meant a lot to me--cried.

i am such a sap.

but hey, it's an adventure, and i think i'm ready for this. despite my apparent failure to stop the waterworks, i'm excited about what tomorrow brings. this is going to be a fun year--nothing i've ever experienced, that's for sure! so here goes...

i don't know what exactly the status is for internet at my apartment--we either have AOL now or will be getting it shortly, but the short and long is that i don't know when i'll update here next--as soon as i can, i will say that. until then, cell phone calls will have to suffice...a day without blogging? this feels so wrong...anyway, until next time...wish me luck.

and the colors are much brighter now
it's like they really want to tell the truth
we give our testimony to the end of the summer
it's the end of the summer,
you can spin the light to gold.
- dar williams (thanks beth)

alright. i've got clothing. i've got shoes. i've got glasses (!!!!!!!!!!!) and contacts. i've got everything i need (i think) to look the part of a capitol hill staffer. and look pretty good, i think! i've also got a new license and a haircut. the fam is going out to dinner tonight (last time we'll all be together for a meal for awhile), then mom and i are packing and watching "broadcast news" tonight. tomorrow--boston baby boston! phone calls will be made to see who's coming, who's not (and will be missed, but it's understandable) and what the timeframe will be. i'm looking to be home early thursday afternoon--bethy and becca, i want to visit!

by the way, i can't help it...howie appears to have bounced back from the ym photo shoot debacle (sorry, but he looked horrible) to looking pretty damn good for the ghost video shoot (for example, here and here, off the official site), if i do say so myself...i know i get teased for it, but there's something about him...

averi tickets: check.
final purchases for moving: tomorrow.
license: tomorrow.
haircut: hopefully tomorrow (the whole aunt taking care of it bit didn't exactly pan out...but it was good to see the fam nonetheless).
packing: tomorrow.

i hope to be just about finished with all packing by the time i go to sleep tomorrow. no pressure or anything.

"feel much better" is pretty decent, but not as stellar as "brace yourself". it's nice to have new howie music to listen to, as the last original song that he has performed with any sense of consistency is (i believe) "after you" (one of my favorite howie songs, i'll admit).

last night i was treated to a delightful surprise--the opportunity to hear a tape of a blast from the past...my friend mike (graduated the year before i did) had written the most adorable song ever called "dead rock & roll stars." this song just rules and i haven't heard it in well over a year--probably closer to a year and a half. but michelle had a tape with it, so she, beth and i sat in the car and rocked out to the song. the tape also included the famous becky song (i'd heard so much about it but never heard the actual song), which was priceless. it was wonderful to hear mike music--but, by taking me back to the days of being an honorary linnehan resident and whatnot sophomore year, it also succeeded in making me miss college. i still can't believe that, for the first time in sixteen years, everyone else is going back to school and i'm not.

oh, and since my last night at work had to end with a bang...it's between 8 and 9 last night, we're all working, and a man runs into the lobby. "call 911, i just hit someone." yep, a woman was crossing 22A in this dark little area, apparently going towards the store next to us, when she was hit by a car. ouch ouch ouch. apparently she's got some pretty major injuries. so while those who knew cpr and whatnot ran out to offer assistance, four of us were left to keep the place running. the most frustrating thing is knowing that something serious is happening just beyond your view, but having to tell people to focus on getting the tasks at hand done...

today i get random last-minute shopping done, make my trip to the dmv for a new license and then visit family (and get haircut). it's going to be a crazy day. plus i'm trying to ignore the fact that the new coldplay album (rush of blood to the head) comes out tomorrow and i know that i can get it for $12, but i need to hold off on it for a bit. it's being added to my "need to buy" list (now joining the ranks of rufus wainwright's "poses", the "vanilla sky" soundtrack and counting crows "hard candy").

i'm impressed.

after working my final shift and visiting beth and michelle, i came home to check email, when i finally succumbed to all of the hype i've been hearing about the new songs howie played at copley. so i downloaded "brace yourself" and am downloading "feel much better" as we speak.

thoughts about "brace yourself"? i absolutely love this song. very different than what i'd expect--while there is the trademark howie sound, it's more mature while being pretty simple...i don't know, i just adore it. looking forward to hearing the second song...

"Brace Yourself"

So you think
You can hold the world up by a string
With all that you have
And I will hold every part of you if I could

And I’m oh...
And I’m on again
Brace yourself
And all that you have
And oh, I’m in love again
Brace yourself
Yeah...

So you feel everything and everything should be
All that you wanted
Stay with me
I’m in no condition to be
Alone

And I’m oh...
And I’m on again
Brace yourself
And all that you have
And oh, I’m in love again
Brace yourself
Yeah...

On and on
So it’s just your false alarm
Maybe I’ll hold my breath
And you’ll be gone
All that you have... yeah...
All that you wanted...

Love
I’m in love again
Brace yourself with all that you have
Oh I’m in love again
Brace yourself... yeah...
Brace yourself... yeah...
Brace yourself with all that you have
Yeah...

All that you wanted... oh...

the one luxury i will have to fight in d.c. is the live music scene, i am quickly discovering. a sampling of upcoming performances:

9/3 - guster & mayer at dar (somehow i think my first day of work is a little soon to be hitting the concert scene)
9/22 - bright eyes at 9:30
9/27 - OAR at the mcdonough center
10/3 - ryan adams at 9:30
10/10 - dashboard confessional at 9:30
10/17 - BADLY DRAWN BOY at 9:30
10/25 - melissa ferrick at 9:30
10/26 - soulive at 9:30
10/27 - counting crows at the charles e. smith center
11/7 - something corporate at the nation
11/9 - jack johnson at 9:30
11/26 and 11/27 - matt nathanson (!!!!) and OAR at 9:30

this is going to get very, very ugly. i have a feeling that i will love the 9:30 club.

looking forward to tomorrow and the coming days. tomorrow is my last shift at work (REVEL REVELFUCKINGREVEL), and i'm hoping to be able to see michelle (stop by work, crackhead!). on monday, i'm buying the last of my necessities and then heading to my aunt's with my mother so we can see the family (aunt, cousins, grandmother, uncle) and, as an added bonus, my aunt's giving me a haircut (mom quote: "so you have a business sexy look going on."). tuesday i finish packing and doing all that fun stuff, then wednesday, if all goes the way i hope, trip to massachusetts to see michelle and attend averi concert that night. come home early thursday, figure out what i'm forgetting and pack some of the stuff that mom and dad will be bringing when they drive down, then leave for washington early early friday morning.

wow...everything's speeding by so quickly...but what's excellent is that i should be able to get everything done and still be able to see everyone and spend some time with them before i leave, which is crucial to me. it should all work out beautifully.

i have returned from the great apartment search and can inform my readership (all three or four of you) that i do have a place to call my own when i move to washington on august 30 (yes, a week from friday), which i will share with two roommates and am very excited about. revel...revelrevel.

i don't know about you, but i'm going to be living it up in the greater boston area one more time when averi rocks the hob cambridge. care to join me for one last night (at least for a little while) of new england drunken debauchery?

more tomorrow--all this trapsing around has exhausted me and i need to start sorting/packing in the a.m. now i reward myself with a viewing of "empire records" and the inevitable continuation of a rousing game of phone tag. ;)

i stumbled across some oscar wilde quotes tonight and have decided that i must read his work. he tickles me.

choice quotes that strike a chord with me:

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
- The Importance of Being Earnest

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Lady Windermere's Fan

The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.

The central problem in Hamlet is whether the critics are mad or only pretending to be mad.

One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead.

And...one of my favorites...

The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts, but is also the return of art to life.

alright--i admit that i'm a bit out of the loop when it comes to musical trends right now. i've been listening to my mp3s, cds and whatnot, pretty much ignoring mtv and even eqx--something i need to work on, i'll acknowledge (the eqx part, that is). so i've never seen mayer's "no such thing" on trl, never seen him on anything other than vh1 or mtv2 and am quite happy not seeing him on big-time-mainstream-this-is-cool-music mtv. so i cannot quite understand how he wound up being popular enough so quickly to wind up with a vma nomination. i don't understand how it happened that, when my father and i went to d.c. for my interview, i found "no such thing" or "your body is a wonderland" on the radio four separate times (and that was just on the way back). and i don't understand how i can come across something like this. i just find it too funny...

updates of sorts: while it all depends on tuesday (doesn't everything lately?), i think i'm going to be able to see averi at hob. revelrevel...i start my job by 9/3 by the latest. revelrevel...

i'm gaining an appreciation for orlando bloom and all the asthetic delight he provides...and i discovered today that, nearly two months ago, my uncle sent me a tape of "empire records," the envelope containing which i came across while going through some newspapers and whatnot stored away. this brings me great joy.

my mother and i went professional shopping today--professional clothing shopping, that is. i'm very pleased to report that not only do i now have a professional wardrobe (who would have thought THAT would happen--i'm blue-jeans-and-t-shirt-at-all-times-girl), i have a professional wardrobe that i really LIKE. and am excited about wearing. and didn't spend a million and a half dollars on. and i have new glasses coming to me soon--love love love them...revelrevel.

things are going extremely well--i'm working hard at getting everything set and things seem to be coming together (as well as can be expected, anyway, there are some things that are, at this moment, somewhat out of my control). i'm a happy girl.

averi is playing at uvm on august 31.

any and all st. michael's or burlington area people--if this show is open to the public--ATTEND IT! and think of me, shedding a bittersweet tear because averi's in burlington and i can't be there for it.

lament, lament, lament.

for the past few days, i've been excited about moving, but that excitement has been overshadowed by the typical victoria "what ifs". what if i don't find a place? what if i don't meet people i'll get along with? what if i flounder in a new city? what if i fail? yadda yadda yadda. i've been in tears a great deal of the time because of that fear--spending all of my time walking around with my stomach in knots as i freak out that i'm not going to have anything work out.

so i'm at work this afternoon, pouring a soda, when this odd feeling of calm comes over me. because i suddenly realize that i am going to find a kickass roommate or roommates. i'm going to find a great place. perhaps it won't be ready for me to move into as soon as i get to the city, but that's ok, because i have a place to stay. but i'm going to find something wonderful and i am going to have an amazing time.

i've been telling myself that for days, but only today did i finally realize that i believe it. and it's going to be great because i feel great and i'm excited. finally.

my parents and i are traveling down to the area monday after work and spending tuesday going around to the different places i've contacted. perhaps i'll find something wonderful. perhaps i'll figure out what questions to ask for when i do the great search on my own. either way, i'm happy we're going. and i'm happy i'm moving. and i'm excited!!!

i have a feeling that, for the majority of the time between now and when i get to d.c., this will chronicle the moving/attempt-at-moving process.

all of my spare time as of late has been spent thinking about/looking for/contacting people about apartments. crikey! but i've been assured that i'll find a place, be able to pay for it and, worst case scenario, have a couch and/or floor available for me in d.c. so it's all good.

i'm going to pull this off, dammit! ;)

Here on this day, don't turn away, fed up with just saying I might
Now out on a limb, there's no giving in, and we're not gonna take it this time
Well here upon this day, I won't turn away
I'm fed up with just saying I might
Now out on a limb, there's no giving in, and I'm not gonna take it this time
Out there in the clear, wrapped around by a blistering degree
I'm on top of the world, and serene
Wide-awake, wide-awake, are we? Are we?

Now what in the hell, what am I supposed to do?
Just turn around and regret it or press on and make it through
See life is a lesson, one big fucking session
And it's right there in front of you!
--Authority Zero

i'm moving to washington, d.c. for a year.

just kidding...i'm actually deciding tomorrow morning (technically, later today). considering that i must be at work at 11:30, i'll know by 11.

today was one of those "????" days. where nothing makes sense and the only thing one can do is walk (somewhat blindly) through the day and its events, confident that resolution (and sleep) await oneself at the other end of that day. completely random--work was odd, the people at work were odd, waiting for the phone call was odd, my emotions and physical state of nerves were odd...one of those days that i don't really want to experience again at any point in the near future, let's put it that way.

everyone's favorite boston-based band (averi, naturally) plays at the elbow room tomorrow night (again, technically, later today) down in n.y.c. it's funny--every time i hear of the elbow room, i think of how that's the club in "coyote ugly" where violet was supposed to perform, but since she didn't, kevin had to give up his prized comic book...but, as frequently happens, i digress. the point is, think rockstar thoughts for them in the p.m. hours. depending on the whole job thing and the resulting schedule (particularly, if i do take the job, when i have to be in d.c.), i'm hoping to be able to catch the show at hob cambridge on the 28th. it'll serve well as either a "hey, screw d.c." function or a "last blast (for at least a wee bit) in boston"...who's game?

i heard about the job.

i got it.

by early afternoon tomorrow, i'll know if i'm taking it or not.

that is all until i know for sure. i've been a bundle of nerves for two days, especially since i heard. so right now i'll just say i'm very happy they offered it.

yesterday began right where the day before left off. wasn't a happy camper. and i didn't hear about the job, which made me exceptionally nervous/bitchy for a large portion of the day.

however, things brightened up (as they always seem to do). i had the opportunity to enjoy my laptop's dvd drive with a viewing of "the royal tennenbaums" and actually made dinner for myself and my mother (even more impressive: it was edible--exceptionally tasty even). while getting some ingredients at the store, i found copies of EW and YM (i felt like i was regressing to seventh grade by looking for the latter), where i laughed myself silly at the stories found inside about my two favorite singer/songwriter types. mayer's spread in EW gives a full-page black-and-white photo of him in all of his brooding rock star glory (guitar in one hand and all--while i laugh at how he looks all smoldering-like, i'll admit that it is a very flattering photograph). YM's photo devoted to howie is hysterical. if it wasn't YM, i'd buy the magazine just for that page (i still get flashbacks to junior high and how YM was the bible of the bethany world that i always aspired to--not overly pleasant). color photo of howie wearing the designer jeans, button down shirt and scarf, a come-hither look on his face. it is absolutely hysterical. i can practically hear the 14-year-olds swooning already. "ooooh, hoooooowie is sooooo hoooootttt!"

ha!!!

today is a good day already. i should (once again, should) hear about d.c. i get to finish resumes and send them out before work.

it has been a long, rather unpleasant day. typified by the event that just occurred: settled down with a small glass that contained a splash of much-deserved red grape juice. managed to spill what was a small amount of liquid all over my new, white dmb tour shirt (granted, i didn't plan on wearing it out anyway, but still).

just need to sleep. hopefully find out about job in d.c. tomorrow, as well as send out resumes.

grr.

EW gets hip to 'Square' John Mayer. The 24-year-old singer-songwriter talks about his old-soul musical tastes, his word-of-mouth success, and, yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt

oh, and amusing tidbits from a recent mayer interview for msm:
(i apologize for the lack of serious, insightful posts as of late...been busy, been tired)

I would like to do a me and Dela tour a la Dave and Tim, but I don't know when it's going to happen. I think sometimes I miss the reality of the situation and that is I made a pop record. So, I have to tour on a pop record.

I don't care if its in front of five-hundred thousand people, I have the coolest fans in the world. I don't have fans who push other fans, I don't have fans who are elite. My fans have nothing to prove. Whether they're fourteen or eight it doesn't matter. If I were a nineteen year old fan who personally saw me two years ago, I would be happy. I think most people are, but again, its not a big deal. Selling out is meant to be inflammatory. It's meant to piss someone off or me off as much as possible. Again, doesn't affect me at all. It's a disappointment. Some people can make that re-adjustment and some can't. The people who can't will have wonderful memories of when they saw me in front of one-hundred twenty people and thats great.

Previously, I had stated New York City, but now I want to live in LA.

I listened to "Room For Squares" July 5th for the first time since January. When I heard it, I was like this record is corny! It's cool because it's corny and it makes no apologies for melody

I hope to sell out in everyone's mind completely, because that would mean that they didn't see it coming at all.

the complete interview can be found here and was conducted by the ever-dedicated and impressive richard young (who deserves infinite praise for everything he does for mayer fans!) it's definitely worth reading in its entirety--provides a lot of insight, which helps the fans who are trying to make that re-adjustment...

also, i don't think i ever mentioned that howie was on kilborn the other night...how odd is this becoming?

there is a slight possibility that i will taking a trip to burlington tomorrow to catch a show at the playhouse (if tickets aren't sold out, i hope to be able to take my parents to see 'godspell'). if i do make this journey, a trip to pure pop is required, as i hope to get my hands on a limited-edition sampler that should be there...i hope i hope.

i need to get myself some new music...the new counting crows, new coldplay (can't wait for it to come out--i finally heard 'in my place' while we came back from d.c.--i was beside myself with joy), possibly the vines' albulm (has anyone listened to this and, if so, is it worth picking up? enlighten me...) as well as the things i keep saying i need to get already, most notably rufus wainwright's 'poses'.

alas, i realize now just how special a high-speed internet connection was while i was in college--i miss audiogalaxy...

update on The Job: they called today and asked for references. they won't make a decision until at least wednesday. i'll keep you posted...

Which Ani DiFranco Album Are
You?
Brought to you by Tracie

You are revelling/reckoning! You've been through a lot, and all of that has made you a stronger person. You're kind, sensitive, loving... you've got a dark side though, and you've probably done a few things you aren't proud of, but hey, you've learned from your mistakes. Which is a lesson most people don't bother to learn.

on our drive from waterford to cambridge, liza mentioned a website that deals strictly with journalism jobs. today provided the first opportunity i've had to visit this site, and let me say this: why didn't the smc profs fill us in on this gem? thank you thank you thank you liza...

i'm in the middle of a series of very important, mature decisions (stop laughing). the first was my decision to go to washington for the capitol hill interview. as i wait for the phone call deciding my fate in that department (supposed to know by the end of the week), i am making other important decisions. for example: i fully plan on moving in the near future. either d.c. or boston. i have spent the past few days pouring over classified sections in d.c. papers for apartments and whatnot, and now i'm searching online for jobs and apartments in both areas.

i bought a chair today, which was another important decision. alright, so it sounds like no big deal, but it actually is. it is the first object i've bought for "my place," wherever that place winds up being. i'm focusing on my apartment, my job, my whatever. and it's scary as hell, but i'm incredibly excited.

so today, my day off, is spent looking for jobs, apartments, running to staples to make more copies of my clips and all that fun stuff. hopefully i will fit in some running and an evening viewing of "gosford park." and an attempt to adjust to the feeling of suddenly growing up.

this installment of "where in the world is victoria?" found her in saratoga springs at the dmb show.

dont burn the pig
warehouse
grey street
proudest monkey
satellite
don’t drink the water
one sweet world
if i had it all
kit kat jam
#41
i did it
raven
loving wings
where are you going
so right
ants marching

encore:
dancing nancies
two step

while a good time was had by all, becca's face upon the realization that dave was playing "dancing nancies" (the one song she wanted to hear--a song he hasn't performed in ages) made it all worthwhile.

can comment more later...as i must sleep now and prepare for my trip to washington in the morning. this whole traveling thing is getting quite ridiculous.

oh yeah, i'm home from the o'neill.

where are all my commenters at? show me some love, people...

modern technology, for all of its benefits, can truly kick my ass sometimes. take the computer i'm currently sitting at, for example. i'm in the script office as i write this, having used this computer on and off for two week now. but it hates me. don't know why--i didn't do anything to the little bastard...but the other day, as i attempted to write daniel my wise-ass email, it kept putting the email in the outbox when i attempted to send it. wouldn't actually send. so i tried a different technique--same result. finally, i emailed him from my other account with a short explanation of how the computer was trying to outwit me

as i look in my sent items now, it says there were two messages sent to daniel's address. add that to the one from the other account, and i look like a dumbass.

then, yesteday afternoon, i was sending an email to chad. wrote the message, clicked send--and aol crashed. so i had to retype it and add an emplanation of why he could possibly receive two emails from me, both with the same basic message.

i have an easy enough time looking like an idiot on my own...i don't need the computer helping me along!

one flight down there's a song on low and your mind just picked up on the sound now you know you're wrong because it drifts like smoke and it's been there playing all along now you know now you know the reeds and brass have been weaving leading into a single note in this place where your arms unfold here at last you see your ancient face now you know now you know the cadence rolls in broken plays it over and then goes one flight down there's a song on low and it's been there playing all along now you know now you know -- norah jones

Damn, J-Lo! You are...83% dateable! Attractive and confident, witty and charming, a healthy ambrosia-based diet... you're wanted in the 48 contiguous states, you slayer. Call me. Seduce me. Make me a man (or woman.) Not only do you know how to turn a guy's (or girl's) engines on, but you also know how to oil, lube and rotate it. You put the "elation" back into "relationship," and the "night" back into "one-night stand."

Your inner child is The Happy Little Bastard (NSFC). He is the perfect well-diapered machine-- greased up with a sense of wonderment about the world. With your little guy sitting in your inner-sidecar there's nowhere you can't go. Tender situations don't upset you, you are calm, cool and collected. Your parents treated you well and you don't have any presiding phobias or issues. Everything is fine and great.

Don't be surprised if one day the person in the bell tower shooting at nuns and regular people is, in fact, you.

Rob Lowe to leave 'West Wing' over salary

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

i don't know why my posts have turned into nothing but links lately--perhaps the tiring schedule is making me lazy during my free time. things continue to go well in fair waterford...i interviewed lee today (!!!!!!!!), intellegent, funny guy that made for an entertaining interview--one that will, i hope, turn into a good story. it's part of our cumulative assignment--we have to interview someone at the conference who interests us, drafting the interview into a 750-word story. so i asked lee, who was very gracious.

yippie-ki-yi-yippie-i-oh-a (an allusion to "billy k", not a defeated descent into country music outbursts. fear not)...

anyone up for a short trip to montreal in august? bwahahaha...

the word on the street is that she was coming home from one of the pavillion mayer shows.

oh, how could i forget to mention the all-company party?

so after "pro bono publico" saturday night, a party was held for everyone at the conference beneath the tree at the edith (this amazing little outdoor space i love). i figured i'd make an appearance, see what was going down, probably head back to conn early. ha! the booze was flowing, the bodies were dancing, and everyone was donning the candy necklaces provided. so i joined into the festivities and danced the night away. i had to say goodbye to jim, one of our critics who was only here for a week--*tear*--and then found some people i knew on the dancefloor. the theme turned into a tribute to the 1980s in all its electronic glory. we rocked out. during the one slow song of the evening--extreme's "more than words"--we were told to find a partner and act like we were at an eighth grade dance. everyone took it to the extreme--arms straight out, barely touching each other, nervous faces and gigles. it was hilarious, and my "date", justin--kept me laughing the entire time. good times...

around quarter to three, four of us headed down to the beach--my first trip there since arriving. we walked down the path and left our shoes on a bench before rolling up our jeans and wading into the surprisingly warm water. i let the water reach my ankles and then stood there, digging my toes into the wet sand and feeling the tug of the current as it lapped at my legs. justing, sarah rob and i formed a line looking out at the blackness, where we couldn't tell where sky ended and water began. no one spoke--all just looked at the sky, the water, the beach, thinking whatever. it was one of those moments of contentment that you know you're always going to remember.

after that, we piled onto one of the lifeguard's chairs, laughing as we each sat down and discovered the condensation on the seat. much laughter ensued.

after awhile, sarah and i headed back to conn, arriving in our respective rooms around quarter after four. fun, fun night, but i yelled at my alarm clock a few hours later when it woke me up at seven...

the goodspeed experience. hmm...well...interesting, to say the least.

first of all, the opera house and the area is absolutely gorgeous. the house evokes the thought of a riverboat (somewhat) and is right by the road on the banks of a river. boats everywhere, small-town feel to the area...you can just fall in love with it when you arrive. which i did.

we then went to the shear library, which is a musical theater library a little down the road. we were told that it is the largest collection of musical theater research and documentation in the country--possibly the world. there's everything--playbills, photographs, recordings, scripts, documentation about productions, some props and costumes...very impressive.

what failed to impress me, however, was the lecture we were given by the executive director of the theater. it started out as a welcome and overview, but yeah, it turned into a lecture. this guy does NOT like critics, we quickly learned. he started telling us to "not be mean" (thank you captain obvious) and, when asked about what he thought the role of a critic was, said, "honestly, i have no idea." started talking about how we were consumer reports and all that, how critics tend to lack training and lack sensitivity. "you have to know that no one sets out to make a bad show." really? ohmigod, my understanding of theater has been so wrong all this time! i thought they WANTED to make bad shows! he then went on to talk about how critics can destroy people, individual people have different responses to theater, everyone works so hard, yadda yadda yadda.

ok, first of all, we all know this. we've discussed it during our sessions, we all have thought about it well before this point. it's not as if we walked off the street and said, "hey, i want to be a critic." we acknowledge that there are bad critics out there--there are a lot of them--but we're taking the steps to become good critics. hence spending two weeks in connecticut learning about it and working on it. and who is he to say anything? just because he's executive director of a company, he has the credentials to talk about theater and we don't? he doesn't know anything about us, what backgrounds we come from. and the fact that he started telling us how tired the cast is and how the lead actor's voice is shot doesn't get me geared up for a great night of theater. if you're apologizing to a group of critics before the show even starts, perhaps you need to take a step back and think about your production.

anyway, i must review the show by tomorrow at noon, so i plan on working on that this afternoon. i'm also looking forward to finding the athletic facilities here at conn. so i can do some excercising (we have access to the excercise room--yippee!). that and i want to relax for awhile. maybe take some pictures of the o'neill when i go back for dinner. yippee!

i realize that i never mentioned whether or not i was able to see daniel when i arrived. so here's a quick rundown before i dash back to conn to get ready for "babes in arms" at the goodspeed tonight (yay!):

i arrived here shortly before noon and walked up to the white house, where the critics' office is located. walking in, i saw dan (director dan, not daniel), who welcomed me and were all nice and whatnot. almost immediately, dan asked, "have you seen daniel yet? he was hoping he'd get to see you before he left, he's been asking all morning if you've arrived!" so i smile and feel all special and whatnot. then i met helene, who, upon being told i was victoria, said, "hello victoria! have you seen daniel yet? he wants to be able to see you." then i met sarah, the administrative assistant, who says hello and immediately says, "you're victoria? have you seen daniel yet?"

yay...and since it was lunchtime, dan led me to the mansion to get some food, telling me that daniel would probably swing by there, so that was the best place for me to be. we went in, got something to eat, sat down and were talking (helene and liza came as well), when helene looked over my shoulder and smiled. "there he is!"

i turned around to see the crazy guy, who got a huge grin on his face. we staged one of those really dopey reunion reactions and ran up and gave each other hugs. he was leaving in less than an hour and said it was about time i'd shown up, so we all had lunch together and had an enjoyable time. then he stole me away for a little while and we got to catch up on things, giving each other the usual hard time we always give each other. it was d.c. all over again.

i was able to give him a copy of one of our d.c. group shots, and we reminisced about the experience and he told me a bit about what the first session was like, and then i walked him to the car and he went off to the airport to head to d.c. (playwrighting workshop at the kennedy center--*sob*). when i went to my "mailbox" shortly after, i came across a slip of paper he and mark had left for me--each writing me a note on one side. his? typical daniel:

"vickie--

do you like me? (check one)
__yes
__no
__maybe"

then has all of the "you rock (spelled: U RAWK!)" and good luck wishes and whatnot. and, since i had barely arrived on the grounds and was all nervous about being here, it made me feel that much better about the experience to come.

so that's the daniel story. i sent him a wiseass email answering his question and throwing the question back at him, so i'm anticipating an equally wiseass response at some point. happiness.

oh, and since i didn't get to comment on this before i left, let me say this: averi was fantastic. :)

did you actually think i'd go without updating? honestly...

i'm currently at conn. college, enjoying my brief hours of free time before dinner back at the o'neill (which liza and i have dubbed the one ill theater) and a show tonight--i have no idea of what i'm seeing, all i know is that i have to write a review about it tonight and probably stay up far too late. it amazes me how relative everything becomes at this type of workshop--last night, i was estatic because i was going to be able to get five hours of sleep. i'm looking forward to sleeping in sometime in august (ack--how horrible is that to say?).

so--it's my fifth day, and i've settled into the routine with relatively few problems. my actf experiences have actually set me ahead of some of my fellow critics--i'm accustomed (relatively speaking, obviously) to the schedule: workshops in the day, show at night, review writing after the show. hell, i've been doing that twice a year for two years now. the others, on the other hand, are exhausted (not like i'm not tired, but you know what i mean) and are complaining about the grind--albeit not too loudly. meanwhile, i'm sitting here wondering where the boot camp part of "boot camp for critics" is coming in. rhiannon said she had experienced the same feelings, so i guess that for all of the disadvantages actfers have in this environment (being significantly younger than one's contemporaries, for instance), it balances out.

i'm having an extremely enjoyable experience. while i'm used to the place now, i've retained my bit of awe--the people we're working with and the things we're seeing are extraordinary. on monday, we went to the monte cristo cottage--gene's boyhood summer home and the only real home he ever knew. it was the setting for "long day's journey into night," so that alone was a neat experience--trying to imagine eugene as a child there, maryella wandering the halls and whatnot. what made the event unforgettable was reading the stage directions at the beginning of the play. we all sat in a back room and took turns reading sections out loud--and realizing that the objects described were the same as the objects around us. of course it was set up that way by the o'neill people (the house is a museum now), but nevertheless, reading about the rocking chair with the leather bottom and realizing that i was sitting in it was trippy (i made everyone laugh by rocking in it and making it creak when we came to the point at which it was mentioned).

the talent here--directors, playwrights, actors, critics, technicians--is impressive, but it's not as if people are walking around saying, "why, hello lee blessing! how is the award-winning playwright doing this morning?" it's like, "hi, lee, how's it goin'?" i was walking out of the white house yesterday afternoon when he passed by (i hadn't been introduced, so i couldn't be like, "hey, what's up, lee?" but i have said hello in passing), so i smiled and he commented on my red sneakers, telling me that he liked them. i said thanks and kept walking, then paused for a moment. lee blessing likes my shoes! lee blessing knows i have these shoes! how the hell did this happen?

i've seen three readings, two staged and one cold--the cold reading has been my favorite as of yet. i completely lost myself in the words--it's a brilliant play and i'm looking forward to seeing how it develops in the future. and of course i'm keeping all of my playbills so that i can have a list of the people i saw here--they bring in some incredible people.

i'm still giddy about the fact that i saw daphne rubin-vega perform twice. mimi from the original "rent". !!!! and that i was at the company hour during which we were addressed by a.r. gurney. so cool...

much as i want to keep going on about the experience, it'll have to wait. i must return to the dorm, take care of my sunburn (only a light shade of lobster, but to be expected--all of our sessions are outside and there's not an incredible amount of shade) and relax before dinner.

revel. revelrevel.

so i've finally figured out my schedule for the next couple of weeks:

i leave in the morning for boston with becca, spending the night at michelle's and seeing averi at paradise, returning to vermont saturday. sunday i head to connecticut for the o'neill, where i will be until the 27th, at which point i return to vermont. the time at home is short-lived, however, as i head to saratoga springs to see dmb at spac on the 29th and then hit the open road again, this time with my father, for a trip to d.c. because i have my interview with patrick's people on the 31st, after which we return to vermont and my future could be completely up in the air.

oy. so really i won't be readily available to anyone or anything until august 1, but, knowing me, i'll find a computer with internet access between now and then.

alright, maybe this is something that my fellow recent smc grads will understand. i hope, anyway...

i watched the final real world: chicago tonight. and, triggered by something becca had mentioned, i was surprisingly emotional watching it. not that the real worlders have such an emotional control of my heartstrings or anything, but this particular season was the last of many i enjoyed in college. this was spring semester of senior year. sometimes i'd go over to becca's to watch the show (particularly after my internship was over), other times i'd enjoy it with bethy and michelle at home. regardless of the exact details of each episode, the fact remains that it was a part of my final months of school. and when the last original episode ended tonight, so did one of the last things that i can associate with college. and facing that was actually pretty rough.

granted, i can be extraordinarily sensitive--a complete sap at times. but i definitely cried after the show. what a dope am i...

we had a corporation visit today--we knew it was coming, so it wasn't a surprise or anything, but i was still a bit nervous. i was in charge of the shift last night and making sure everything looked decent, so i knew i had a big responsibility, in addition to working dt while rory was there today. so i did my best to step it up a notch. and we did a great job. i was psyched.

so psyched, in fact, that i went running when i got home. it was a good start--not an incredible distance, by any means, but the important thing is that i went. and i'm going tomorrow. and i'm going to keep going. my muscles are tired, i know i'll be a bit sore tomorrow, but i feel absolutely incredible and i want to keep this going.

and the latest in the o'neill saga: i had information saying i could get to ct. after three on saturday. so that's what i've been shooting for. that's what i told rhiannon and daniel. now i'm being told i have to be there before four on sunday. well, after three on saturday IS before four on sunday, technically...and i certainly did not appreciate the cold nature of the email i received. yet i doubt they would relate to my argument that i need to be there so i can see a friend before she leaves and party like a rock star that night with an adorable guy...

AURGH.

today was an example of the "best of times, worst of times" rollercoaster of emotions. only starting with the worst. feeling drained of all energy and sense of reason, i was losing it emotionally at work (i'd have lost it physically as well, but i had no real ability to lose anything physically today--no energy). i was just a wreck for no reason at all. it is a rare occasion when i am such a jumble of emotions.

but i got through it and made it home, where i had email from paul awaiting me (i had emailed him asking him to be a reference, besides just wanting to say hello and see how he was doing), and his cheerful words brought my ego up a few points (which says quite a bit, as it was in near-record-lows all day). feeling somewhat energized and motivated, i am now engaging on a search for my old soccer cleats, as i have every intention of working my 11-7 shift and, on the way home, stopping by the high school to do some running on the soccer field. i've been all about this general health upgrade and feel that it's time to take it to the next level.

after i finished my last soccer game in high school, i never imagined i'd be eagerly anticipating the idea of running ucla's and hill sprints...

at work today, i was struck by the haze in the air...turns out it's not haze. it's actually smoke. debi commented on how the moon was orange--but i pointed out to her that it was actually the sun--visible clearly through all the smoke. is this like how the smog in l.a. is, i wonder?

how could i have missed something like this? he has been a legend to me since i can remember...

my blog turned up here?

came home from work to a message on the table to call rhiannon so, naturally, i did. had a chance to talk to her and daniel (turns out all three of the other dc crew are at first session). the o'neill sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. i'm already incredibly impressed by the people who are there.

so my plan is to get to waterford early saturday afternoon, which means i'll get to spend at least a few hours with rhiannon. daniel doesn't leave until sunday, so i'll get to see him regardless, but there are plans to party like rock stars saturday night. and then two weeks of theater...it's going to be a blast.

attempting to describe a band to someone is a thoroughly daunting task, might i add. daniel asked what kind of sound averi had and, by the time i was finished trying to describe it (rather poorly, i think), he thought i was describing a "hippie jam band." averi? hmm...not so much. but it's not like i can say, "well, they sound like...averi," or just say, "they're good." i'm sending rhiannon a copy of my averi cd, so daniel can hear them then and realize just how un-hippie-jam-band-esque they are.

it was so good to hear both of their voices tonight...i've missed the dc gang.

"let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together."
"i've got some real estate here in my bag."
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and mrs. wagner pies
and we walked off to look for america

"kathy," i said as we boarded a greyhound in pittsburgh
"michigan seems like a dream to me now"
it took me four days to hitchhike from saginaw
i've gone to look for america

laughing on the bus
playing games with the faces
she said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
i said "be careful his bowtie is really a camera"

"toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat"
"we smoked the last one an hour ago"
so i looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
and the moon rose over an open field

"kathy, i'm lost," i said, though i knew she was sleeping
i'm empty and aching and i don't know why
counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike
they've all gone to look for america
all gone to look for america
all gone to look for america

tickets: purchased.
outfit: purchased.
sandals: purchased.
research: conducted.
FP resume: almost done (tomorrow morning).
sleep: now.

i should, with all luck, have in my posession, within seven to ten days, my very own, brand-spanking-new, 7.1-pound, black-and-silver-case, dvd-included laptop computer.

happy, happy me.

so, a quick update. dave matthews band tickets are being purchased tonight. the rest of my outfit for The Big Job Interview will be purchased tonight. the much-lusted-after and much-needed pair of sandals (to replace the ones that died) will be purchased tonight. i figure the sandals are, besides being lusted after and much-needed, well-deserved after the day i worked today and considering that i'm pulling overtime this week. the fact that i still fit into a children's size sandal (therefore saving me at least ten dollars) doesn't hurt either.

so, all in all, a very happy victoria.

furthermore, i request and recommend that people participate in this, courtesy of the averi mailing list:

Beginning July 3rd @ 6 p.m. CST (that means 7 p.m. if you're somewhere 'round Boston like us) Averi will be participating in a Jim Beam/Rolling Stone Band Search contest in which they were pre-selected out of hundreds of bands for, and will be up against four or five other bands in this round. There's a couple different rounds of this, but your vote would be greatly appreciated (there's all sorts of prizes and opportunities if we take this thing), and you can only cast your vote ONCE.
Here's the link
The voting ends July 10th at 6 p.m. CST.
(if you go the link above prior to the contest start time, you will not be able to find info on Averi just yet, simply wait til 6 p.m. CST on July 3 to rock it)

&$)@*$_(@_%*@_*(%^@^?!?!??!?!

at least james franco is also on the list--i approve of that.

found a mayer interview.

I tend to think that, after hearing Room for Squares, that just me and acoustic guitar is a little boring sometimes.

if that's boring, i'll take boring any day.

check out the interview...he talks about rufus (*sigh*), and provides the funniest, somewhat disturbing mayer quote i've ever seen or heard.

Interviewer: And Rufus is someone else you want more people to listen to?
John: Yes, but then also at the same time, I'm like…
Matt [Johnson, drummer]: Don't listen to…if you're only going to buy one record, I mean, you've gotta buy John Mayer's record, not Rufus's record.
John: If you like ejaculating into books, then I guess Rufus Wainwright is a little more [for your taste] and if you like, kind of ejaculating on yourself…
Matt: Your record.
John: Right.
Interviewer: That's going to be the big quote in like, 14 font.
John: 'I'm going to ejaculate…' 14? 72, motherfucker! (Menacing voice) 'I ejaculate into books and return them late. John Mayer.'
Interviewer: Something new to ponder.
John: That's a lyric. That's a lyric. I'm going to make that a lyric.

i'm frightened even thinking about how this will show up in the search engines and who finds my site through the key words of "ejaculation" or "motherfucker"...c'est la vie. :)