To be filed under either "You Know You're Tired When" or "Um, Yeah, Go With It":

"I learned relatively recently that there's Newfoundland blood running through these veins. Apparently my people were a whaling people...yes. Exactly. If you're ever in a dingy on the open seas and a whale comes along, fear not. As long as I'm there with a plastic knife, we'll be good to go."

The above quote is all me. Apparently, I really have lost my mind.