the making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. you gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. there are a lot of rules.
while i've always loved making mixes, the above quote, as well as the rest of "high fidelity", shaped the compilation cd creating process for me. i used to make mixes all the time, but haven't in eons, mostly due to the fact that i lack a burner on my laptop in d.c. but since i'm here and have access to my trusty desktop computer, which has diligently created many a mix for yours truly, i decided to get back into it and make myself the july 2003 mix (or, considering that i had so much fun playing around with what tracks to put on it, july 2003 mix vol. 1). i'm quite pleased with the results, although i was sticking strictly with mp3s, which limited some of my choices for selections (as you can see, there is no mraz on the tracklisting, perhaps the biggest flaw with an otherwise stellar compilation, if i do say so myself).
what did i decide to put on it, you ask? well let me tell you:
1. howie day - daysay - beer song (live)
2. averi - garden of eden
3. rufus wainwright - moulin rouge
4. tori amos - cornflake girl (live in denver - 10.11.99)
5. dave matthews band - #41
6. janis joplin - me and bobby mcgee
7. natalie merchant - son of a preacher man (live at lilith fair)
8. jane horrocks & ewan mcgregor - you're just in love
9. god street wine - when the melody plays
10. blues traveler - canadian rose
11. ani difranco - not a pretty girl
12. andrew sutherland - untitled (or, at least, i don't know the title - instrumental)
13. beatles - instant karma
14. ani difranco - when doves cry (live prince cover)
15. remy zero - twister
16. guster - barrel of a gun
17. simon & garfunkel - the sound of silence
18. howie day - fake plastic trees (live radiohead cover - 4.15.00)
i am currently in the process of searching for a blank cd so i can burn this baby and have it for my musical enjoyment while i trapse around the area in my car ... hurrah!
while on my search for a blank cd, however, i stumbled across a fantastic compilation my brother has in his possession - yet another example of how tom manages to impress me with random gems of music. a tori compilation his ex-girlfriend made for him back in the day that i NEED to copy. check this out:
1. precious things
2. happy phantom
3. tear in your hand
4. take to the sky
5. pretty good year
6. the waitress
7. cornflake girl
8. honey
9. mr. zebra
10. blood roses
11. caught a light sneeze
12. samauri
13. raspberry swirl
14. hotel
15. bachelorette
16. concertina
17. riot proof
18. here in my hand
are you as impressed as i am? i thought so! beth, i am going to certainly make you a copy of this treasure.
hmm ... what else to report? oh yeah! add to my list from last night of random realizations - i meant to add that i came across a setlist from an averi show, but i have no recollection of taking said setlist ... i don't remember if i was given the setlist (for some reason, i'm thinking michelle gave it to me since i couldn't be at a show, but i don't recall for sure) or if i acquired it at a show i attended ... for anyone particularly averi savvy, does this setlist sound familiar?
tendencies of a hypochondriac
numb
flutter (stu solo)
more than what i need
waiting for a ghost
the time it takes to disappear
this liminal life (album ending)
she waits
????? it's written on back of a piece of paper that lists "what they're saying about averi" - including such quotes like, "these four talented young musicians display a penchant for strong songwriting, superb musicianship and great vocals" - metronome magazine (obviously from before the band grew to five members), "averi is the future of pop in new england (and likely beyond)" - bostonherald.com, "a musical mind or someone simply looking for entertainment would both agree on the talent of these four musicians" - the suffolk journal, "a major contributor to [the] enjoyment of averi's performance was definitely the skill that went into everything, making their music seem so polished and clean without being typical" - the crusader (holy cross), "[averi's latest cd] brings you back to the early 90s when boston rock meant something" - fat city magazine and "averi's music just gets you in smile-happy mood ... a rare found collaboration of instruments" - the suffolk journal. (i put these in here primarily, i admit, to encourage anyone who happens to stumble across this blog to check the band out or further urge anyone who's simply heard of the band to listen to some tracks or hit up a show!!! plug, plug, plug ...) i was obviously delighted to come across said setlist, but i was thoroughly befuddled ...
anyone with access to the rutland herald tomorrow might have the opportunity to laugh heartily at my expense, as i ran into a.j., the herald's photographer (and guy who used to tease me constantly when he covered my high school sports and other events) while checking out the sidewalk sales in rutland early this afternoon. i became his "model" and he took a plethora of photographs, so i'm frightened to see if i make it into the pages. i mentioned to him that i'd just come from dropping off resumes at the newspaper (as in about fifteen minutes prior to our encounter) and he picked on me constantly and wound up encouraging to buy two more shirts than i'd intended. damn the pressure!!! it was great, though - i love random t shirts and wound up coming across a booth with a ton of random ones, each going for one or two dollars each. so i picked up a green shirt emblazoned with "portland parks & rec girls softball", a franklin pierce baseball t (primarily so i could wear it and tease my brother, who went to franklin pierce before deciding to transfer to emerson) as well as a huge field hockey shirt (this was an a.j. encouraged purchase - he said it would make a great nightshirt and said i HAD to get it once i exclaimed with delight that it was #13, my old soccer number and favorite number in the world) and a red pinkerton soccer jersey (the other a.j. purchase, but i knew i had to have it because it was A) bright red B) a soccer jersey and C) emblazoned with pinkerton, which made me think of weezer, so i instantly loved it. i know, music whore, music whore, not to mention the second connection i made with it - weezer makes me think of "if you want to destory my sweater" which makes me think of ... well, you know. pathetic am i!!!!).
so it has been a day of resume submitting, shopping and cd burning, as well as some more resume writing - i'm feeling so productive - i know, scary, right?
i've also come to terms with the addiction i'd forgotten to comment on - add to the list of gum and lip gloss dunkin donuts french vanilla iced coffee. it's become sick, really - i can't not indulge in it! so today, when i stopped at the dunkies next to sofas & more (i do not go to the one by bowlerama anymore, as it's always bitter and nasty, not to mention i always get grief from the people there for not wanting cream in it - i'm making things easier for them, so why question it???) as i always do, they asked if i wanted my french vanilla (i told you it was sick!) and i said yes, but upon viewing the size selection and prices, i decided to just full out accept my addiction and buy one of the summer sipper cups filled with my french vanilla goodness, as it was only an extra thirty cents or something like that. now if you've seen these beasts, you know why i'm commenting on it. it probably holds ... hmm ... let me check.
*running over to sipper cup to check size*
*gasping at the realization of just how big it is*
*returning to computer*
it holds 34 ounces. 34 ounces of black french vanilla iced coffee. you'd think i'd be bouncing off the walls after consuming that much caffeine, yes? oh, no - calm, cool as a cucumber, i contentedly consumed and catered to my coffee craving. i felt like one of the people you see at various sporting events, like i should have had one of the helmets on my head with the two straws running up to two cans of beer or something. only mine would be coffee. caffeine IV drip, anyone? bring it on, i say ...
so yes, i'm addicted to that as well. yet another example of how i continue to demonstrate my addictive personality. although i will say i've been spoiled, thanks to beth and chuck - while the dunkies iced coffee (at this particular branch, anyway) proves to satisfy me, it doesn't compare to the flavored iced coffees at honeydew donuts ... mmm ... but, alas, there is no honeydew near us. (for those who haven't experienced honeydew, think of the iced coffee in the same manner as one would think of chipotle when one thinks of burritos. yeah, it's that good.)
ok, i'm rambling on and blathering as i have email to write (hi paul!), blank cds to find and friends to call to see what they're up to on this friday evening (the weekend - hurrah!). so, with that, i bid you adieu and leave you with this week's friday five ...
1. if your life were a movie, what would the title be?
the great american movie (inspired by the great american novel)
2. what songs would be on the soundtrack?
ok, first, let me laugh, as this makes me think of the girl outside t's pub last friday ("my soundtrack would have lots of sublime, some janis, some random rap shit ..."). now that i've gotten that out of my system, i'd say that it would have to be a massive soundtrack (at least a double-disc album like "forrest gump" but probably more like a boxed set!). among the track listing, you would find some classic rock (van morrison's "moondance", aerosmith's "dream on", billy joel, simon & garfunkel, the beatles, the rolling stones, janis, tim buckley, cat stevens, moody blues, the doors, zepplin and the like) and then a wide, WIDE range of more modern music, from dr. dre (yes, i admit that i bought both dre's "the chronic" and snoop doggy dogg's "doggystyle" when i was in sixth grade - laugh all you want, i know you did it too) to new kids on the block to sublime to garth brooks. throw in some korn and limp bizkit to represent my "angry rock girl" phase during sophomore year of college; blink 182's "dammit"; ani; reel big fish step lively and edna's goldfish (my ska/"hey, i know the band, they crashed at my house" phase); lit, bush, rusted root and everclear to represent the woodstock '99 experience; obviously howie, john mayer, matt nathanson, glen phillips and david gray ("say hello, wave goodbye"); dmb, pmb, virginia coalition; jason mraz should go without saying; tori tori and some more tori (particularly a live track of gold dust from the fairfax show); averi, jess klein, dispatch, melissa ferrick, counting crows, live, etc. then selections from "rent", "les mis", "phantom" and "once upon a mattress", various selections from the arcadia soundtrack and selections from leap memories and some jeff buckley and josh clayton-felt to pay homage to my love of dead singer-songwriters (it sounds horrible to word it that way, but nonetheless) ... also add a track or two from andrew sutherland (ideally, he'd record the "it's vickie" song strictly for the soundtrack), the police, rancid, sublime, ben harper's "steal my kisses", green day, eve 6, grippo and soulive ... the list goes on and on. like i said, it would be the world's hugest soundtrack. i can map my life by the music i listened to at the time - so many memories are triggered by the opening notes of a song.
3. would it be a live-action film or animated? why?
definitely live-action - so it could really put the audience in the places i've been and the way i've seen things through my eyes. not to mention so howie, john, averi, dmb and matt nathanson could be in it. ;-) and so orlando bloom could be cast as the love interest.
4. casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc.?
hmm ... well, if i couldn't get everyone to play themselves ...
me: i'd like to think i would, but i'm not a good enough actress. ;-) so i think the people who bear at least a little resemblance to my physically and would be able to balance the serious side and the admittedly perky off-my-rocker side could be kate hudson or claire danes. donna from "the west wing" would be really amusing as well.
family: dad - robin williams (in his serious manner, obviously, as my dad's not at all zany like comedic robin can be). mom - anette benning, only blonde. tom - hahahaha. this could be fun. um ... the role of tom would be played by jamie kennedy.
friends: i've got to spend more time thinking about that one. will add later after i go through the list of young actors/actresses.
5. describe the movie preview/trailer
voiceover of my character as you see a closeup of a hand writing in a journal: "life is just reality, altered." it would include a sequence of shots from various times in my life - sports, college (including drinking, altercations and times of hugs and laughter, a kiss on the cheek goodbye outside a townhouse one warm spring night), leading up to graduation. then voiceover continues. "so what is my reality?" my character looks up, into camera.
that's all i can think of for right now ... this was a great set of questions, though, so i know i'll be thinking about this and will surely add to it later on!
7.25.2003
now this poses an interesting question ... let's say this particular ailment befalls you. do you suffer in quiet agony, making sure no one knows it's happening ... or do you seek treatment, knowing the odds are good you are likely to become known as "fly boy" and have your story and predicament plastered all over the international news?
"he told his parents, but they didn't initially believe him." how exactly do you explain this to your folks? "mom, dad, gee, the oddest thing has been happening to me lately ... i know you said i'd be going through some ... changes ... around this age, but i didn't think you meant THIS!!!"
comment with your take on it ... i'm intrigued.
"he told his parents, but they didn't initially believe him." how exactly do you explain this to your folks? "mom, dad, gee, the oddest thing has been happening to me lately ... i know you said i'd be going through some ... changes ... around this age, but i didn't think you meant THIS!!!"
comment with your take on it ... i'm intrigued.
7.24.2003
today has been, among other things, a day spent creating order out of the chaos that is my life. ;-) i am pleased to report that much success was made on this front, not to mention i made a few discoveries:
- it's remarkably easy to fit $15 worth of change in a very small purse, apparently.
- i really need to come to terms with my addictions - namely sugarless trident gum and lip gloss, both of which have resulted in large collections of each. it's sad when i realize that i have ten different kinds of lip gloss stored in two bags. um ... yeah.
- things i'd previously thought of as long gone were really simply just in hiding (two pairs of sunglasses, a ring, necklace and bracelet - go me for finding them ... we'll focus on that rather than my ability to misplace them ...)
- i apparently collect boarding passes for southwest airline flights, as i wound up getting rid of the boarding passes for at least five different flights ...
- i did bring "white oleander" back to vermont with me ... amazing, as i thought i'd not simply left it in d.c., but actually returned it to the loc ... hey, extra reading material is a bonus, right?
- paul rules for the number of jason mraz cds/shows he's given to me, as i realized just how many i have (thank you paul, you rock the casbah!)
- i have far too many journals that i've started to write in and then abandoned for new ones. when they try to organize the collection of them following my death in order to publish them, they're going to have a bitch of a time figuring out the timeline ...
i'm on a mad resume-sending spree, feeling quite productive and happy about accomplishments made thus far. now i prepare to send/deliver more and await enthusiastic responses.
congratulations are in order for two of my favorite teachers! i can say that now, as they both will be shaping (corrupting) the minds of america's youth in the fall ... plymouth and bridport made the right decisions in hiring chuck and becca, respectively ... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! you're both going to be amazing and inspirational ... hurrah!
i was delighted to read the latest entry in averi's journal ... the biggest party on commonwealth indeed! chris writes, "we never had so much fun at a gig before and we’d like to thank everyone who came out that night." thank YOU, guys, it was a blast! the dancing during "this liminal life" is documented for the ages in photographs ... sure enough, you can see yours truly with my concert partners in crime, elizabeth and michelle ... good times, good times. such a fun night.
hmm ... what else to report? not a hell of a lot ... things are going well. after a couple of admittedly self-pitying days, i'm feeling positive and optimistic, convinced that karma will pay off for me as well as it has for my friends. i also had the ... interesting ... experience of sampling bernie botts every flavour beans, courtesy of ms. rebecca ... i'm going to pick up a box to torment my brother with them. bwahahaha ... it's something that must be shared with others, i believe. particularly when they don't know that they're bernie botts ... for those wondering which flavors i sampled, i'll provide the answer ... besides the typical and always tasty toasted marshmallow, banana and the like, i tasted sardine, grass, dirt and earwax. tragically (riiiiiiiight), there were no vomit beans left. weep with me. ;-)
- it's remarkably easy to fit $15 worth of change in a very small purse, apparently.
- i really need to come to terms with my addictions - namely sugarless trident gum and lip gloss, both of which have resulted in large collections of each. it's sad when i realize that i have ten different kinds of lip gloss stored in two bags. um ... yeah.
- things i'd previously thought of as long gone were really simply just in hiding (two pairs of sunglasses, a ring, necklace and bracelet - go me for finding them ... we'll focus on that rather than my ability to misplace them ...)
- i apparently collect boarding passes for southwest airline flights, as i wound up getting rid of the boarding passes for at least five different flights ...
- i did bring "white oleander" back to vermont with me ... amazing, as i thought i'd not simply left it in d.c., but actually returned it to the loc ... hey, extra reading material is a bonus, right?
- paul rules for the number of jason mraz cds/shows he's given to me, as i realized just how many i have (thank you paul, you rock the casbah!)
- i have far too many journals that i've started to write in and then abandoned for new ones. when they try to organize the collection of them following my death in order to publish them, they're going to have a bitch of a time figuring out the timeline ...
i'm on a mad resume-sending spree, feeling quite productive and happy about accomplishments made thus far. now i prepare to send/deliver more and await enthusiastic responses.
congratulations are in order for two of my favorite teachers! i can say that now, as they both will be shaping (corrupting) the minds of america's youth in the fall ... plymouth and bridport made the right decisions in hiring chuck and becca, respectively ... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! you're both going to be amazing and inspirational ... hurrah!
i was delighted to read the latest entry in averi's journal ... the biggest party on commonwealth indeed! chris writes, "we never had so much fun at a gig before and we’d like to thank everyone who came out that night." thank YOU, guys, it was a blast! the dancing during "this liminal life" is documented for the ages in photographs ... sure enough, you can see yours truly with my concert partners in crime, elizabeth and michelle ... good times, good times. such a fun night.
hmm ... what else to report? not a hell of a lot ... things are going well. after a couple of admittedly self-pitying days, i'm feeling positive and optimistic, convinced that karma will pay off for me as well as it has for my friends. i also had the ... interesting ... experience of sampling bernie botts every flavour beans, courtesy of ms. rebecca ... i'm going to pick up a box to torment my brother with them. bwahahaha ... it's something that must be shared with others, i believe. particularly when they don't know that they're bernie botts ... for those wondering which flavors i sampled, i'll provide the answer ... besides the typical and always tasty toasted marshmallow, banana and the like, i tasted sardine, grass, dirt and earwax. tragically (riiiiiiiight), there were no vomit beans left. weep with me. ;-)
7.23.2003
how pleased am i with this year's nominees for the boston music awards?!? make sure to vote for averi (club band/best live show and new rock/pop band - independent), howie (best debut album - australia and male vocalist) and john mayer (song of the year - "your body is a wonderland", male vocalist and act of the year).
yeah yeah!
yeah yeah!
ok, here's my political rant for the week:
i've never been in favor of the war/military conflict in iraq. i found it unnecessary and untimely - in my opinion, there was/is so much to focus on within our own borders that are more important/pressing than anything going on in iraq, regardless of what the president has to say about it.
as can be expected, my opinion of the iraq situation was only intensified upon hearing about justin. i spent some time yesterday digging around online for any articles about him and came up with a great deal of information that helped me catch up on what he had accomplished following graduation and in the years after and only became more angered by what i read. according to his mother, the first weeks in iraq showed him that there was nowhere he could have been more needed - the people were so appreciative of the u.s. presence and the civilian situation was so dire that he was filled with gratitude for having the opportunity to be there. in typical justin fashion, he was more focused on how he could help others than the potential risk he was facing by being there.
however, as time passed by and anti-american sentiments grew, he became frustrated and wanted to come home. people were beginning to threaten the american military on a more regular basis and the gratitude was beginning to turn into anger and resentment. and, naturally, as this was unfolding, the date at which he was going to be able to leave the army (july 18) was pushed back to august. nonetheless, he continued to do his duty until sunday, when he was ambushed and killed.
the president can say whatever he wants about weapons of mass destruction and the threat of saddam hussein, but anything he says is conveyed to the public from behind the safety of secret service officers and advisors. the odds of his ever being near the actual combat, of facing the animosity head-on, anything the actual soldiers are experiencing is virtually nonexistant. only when he is in the same town justin was in when he was killed, only when he sees what justin saw and what justin's fellow military officers see will i be able to even consider giving the president's justification for our presence in iraq credibility. i want the president to look justin's wife, mother, father, sister and nine-year-old brother in their faces and explain just why justin was there. and then i want him to do the same thing for the familiies of the other soldiers who have died in this conflict.
ok, political rant over.
i don't want to sound like i'm referring to justin as a close friend or anything like that, as the reality of the situation is that i hadn't seen him since the day after graduation five years ago. i had no idea that he had married kate, i heard no news of his serving in pakistan and afghanistan following the september 11 attacks. i've thought of him maybe a handful of times in five years.
that said, it's unfortunate to have to learn of what someone's been up to when you're reading a summary of his life alongside the description of his death. one of the realities of life is that there are people who remain in your existance while there are others who slip away into their own respective lives, careers and journeys. nevertheless, when the reality of that slaps you in the face, it's tough and more than a little surreal. afterall, i saw him everyday for the better part of six years - sitting in classes with him, cheering him on and being cheered on in return at our respective soccer games. sitting in my hotel room the night of graduation with him and three others, playing cards, jumping on the beds, taking snapshots of memories that now keep him forever at age 18 - barechested in jeans, mid-jump, a huge grin on his face as he and everyone else celebrated the end of our proctor lives and the beginning of the rest of those lives.
i've never been in favor of the war/military conflict in iraq. i found it unnecessary and untimely - in my opinion, there was/is so much to focus on within our own borders that are more important/pressing than anything going on in iraq, regardless of what the president has to say about it.
as can be expected, my opinion of the iraq situation was only intensified upon hearing about justin. i spent some time yesterday digging around online for any articles about him and came up with a great deal of information that helped me catch up on what he had accomplished following graduation and in the years after and only became more angered by what i read. according to his mother, the first weeks in iraq showed him that there was nowhere he could have been more needed - the people were so appreciative of the u.s. presence and the civilian situation was so dire that he was filled with gratitude for having the opportunity to be there. in typical justin fashion, he was more focused on how he could help others than the potential risk he was facing by being there.
however, as time passed by and anti-american sentiments grew, he became frustrated and wanted to come home. people were beginning to threaten the american military on a more regular basis and the gratitude was beginning to turn into anger and resentment. and, naturally, as this was unfolding, the date at which he was going to be able to leave the army (july 18) was pushed back to august. nonetheless, he continued to do his duty until sunday, when he was ambushed and killed.
the president can say whatever he wants about weapons of mass destruction and the threat of saddam hussein, but anything he says is conveyed to the public from behind the safety of secret service officers and advisors. the odds of his ever being near the actual combat, of facing the animosity head-on, anything the actual soldiers are experiencing is virtually nonexistant. only when he is in the same town justin was in when he was killed, only when he sees what justin saw and what justin's fellow military officers see will i be able to even consider giving the president's justification for our presence in iraq credibility. i want the president to look justin's wife, mother, father, sister and nine-year-old brother in their faces and explain just why justin was there. and then i want him to do the same thing for the familiies of the other soldiers who have died in this conflict.
ok, political rant over.
i don't want to sound like i'm referring to justin as a close friend or anything like that, as the reality of the situation is that i hadn't seen him since the day after graduation five years ago. i had no idea that he had married kate, i heard no news of his serving in pakistan and afghanistan following the september 11 attacks. i've thought of him maybe a handful of times in five years.
that said, it's unfortunate to have to learn of what someone's been up to when you're reading a summary of his life alongside the description of his death. one of the realities of life is that there are people who remain in your existance while there are others who slip away into their own respective lives, careers and journeys. nevertheless, when the reality of that slaps you in the face, it's tough and more than a little surreal. afterall, i saw him everyday for the better part of six years - sitting in classes with him, cheering him on and being cheered on in return at our respective soccer games. sitting in my hotel room the night of graduation with him and three others, playing cards, jumping on the beds, taking snapshots of memories that now keep him forever at age 18 - barechested in jeans, mid-jump, a huge grin on his face as he and everyone else celebrated the end of our proctor lives and the beginning of the rest of those lives.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | unwanted solitude
02 | lack of success in my desired field
03 | being strangled
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | elizabeth
02 | becca
03 | paul
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | writing
02 | music
03 | skylines
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | drama (in the non-theatrical sense)
02 | being viewed as less capable than i am
03 | being perceived as not telling the truth
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | how to appease people so i can focus on what i need without their bullshit
02 | the french language
03 | myself - not to mention a lot of other people as well
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | a glass of grape flavored water
02 | a book ("wintering" by kate moses)
03 | my journal (with pen)
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | drinking grape flavored water
02 | taking a break from resume work
03 | listening to "fools rush in" on the television behind me
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | travel (see the pacific, go to europe - particularly london, australia)
02 | skydive
03 | publish a novel
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | write
02 | harmonize (albeit somewhat poorly, but nonetheless)
03 | miraculously shrink to 2/3 of my normal size (just ask beth, she witnessed it last night)
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | optimistic
02 | sarcastic
03 | guarded
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | at the moment, slender
02 | "you're how old??? you don't look 22 ..."
03 | donna from "the west wing" with shorter hair
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | eat shushi (except the vegetarian kind)
02 | write dialogue
03 | play guitar (yet)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | uber
02 | what have you
03 | wicked (this increases at least fourfold after crossing the new hampshire/massachusetts border)
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | chinese
02 | chipotle (or other forms of tex-mex)
03 | lasagna
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | guitar
02 | life lessons (i know, weak cop-out answer)
03 | how to write dialogue ;-)
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | dunkin donuts french vanilla iced coffee
02 | water
03 | apple spice tea
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | mr. rogers' neighborhood
02 | gem
03 | square one
01 | unwanted solitude
02 | lack of success in my desired field
03 | being strangled
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | elizabeth
02 | becca
03 | paul
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | writing
02 | music
03 | skylines
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | drama (in the non-theatrical sense)
02 | being viewed as less capable than i am
03 | being perceived as not telling the truth
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | how to appease people so i can focus on what i need without their bullshit
02 | the french language
03 | myself - not to mention a lot of other people as well
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | a glass of grape flavored water
02 | a book ("wintering" by kate moses)
03 | my journal (with pen)
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | drinking grape flavored water
02 | taking a break from resume work
03 | listening to "fools rush in" on the television behind me
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | travel (see the pacific, go to europe - particularly london, australia)
02 | skydive
03 | publish a novel
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | write
02 | harmonize (albeit somewhat poorly, but nonetheless)
03 | miraculously shrink to 2/3 of my normal size (just ask beth, she witnessed it last night)
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | optimistic
02 | sarcastic
03 | guarded
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | at the moment, slender
02 | "you're how old??? you don't look 22 ..."
03 | donna from "the west wing" with shorter hair
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | eat shushi (except the vegetarian kind)
02 | write dialogue
03 | play guitar (yet)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | uber
02 | what have you
03 | wicked (this increases at least fourfold after crossing the new hampshire/massachusetts border)
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | chinese
02 | chipotle (or other forms of tex-mex)
03 | lasagna
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | guitar
02 | life lessons (i know, weak cop-out answer)
03 | how to write dialogue ;-)
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | dunkin donuts french vanilla iced coffee
02 | water
03 | apple spice tea
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | mr. rogers' neighborhood
02 | gem
03 | square one
7.22.2003
after an exceptionally random dream i don't really want to get into on here at this moment in time, i should have known something was up, but i didn't. well, there's no way i could have known or anything ...
nonetheless, it's another of those uncanny moments where you find that maybe you knew something was wrong even before you really knew. all i know is that i had an exceptionally unnerving dream about former high school classmates last night and i learned this evening, while preparing for the game to begin at fenway, that a different proctor class of 98er, justin garvey, was killed in iraq yesterday.
if you want to talk about a good guy, justin was, during the five years i knew him, right up there among the best of them. funny, kind, laid-back but driven to succeed in life, he got along with everyone and never seemed overly cliquely or whatnot. he was cool without being too cool - i have pictures of him from project grad on the night of our graduation, playing cards with me in our room, jumping like a little kid on the beds ... i just can't believe he's gone.
nonetheless, it's another of those uncanny moments where you find that maybe you knew something was wrong even before you really knew. all i know is that i had an exceptionally unnerving dream about former high school classmates last night and i learned this evening, while preparing for the game to begin at fenway, that a different proctor class of 98er, justin garvey, was killed in iraq yesterday.
if you want to talk about a good guy, justin was, during the five years i knew him, right up there among the best of them. funny, kind, laid-back but driven to succeed in life, he got along with everyone and never seemed overly cliquely or whatnot. he was cool without being too cool - i have pictures of him from project grad on the night of our graduation, playing cards with me in our room, jumping like a little kid on the beds ... i just can't believe he's gone.
7.21.2003
1:00 p.m.: victoria settles in front of computer to work on resumes.
1:05 p.m.: victoria is reassured of her brilliance when she is relieved to find she emailed herself her updated resume and kickass cover letter before leaving the d.c. area.
1:07 p.m.: victoria, having downloaded resume and accompanying clips to her computer, begins making the first customizations to resume and cover letter for first position she is applying for.
1:08 p.m.: power goes out.
6:09 p.m.: power resumes as victoria and her mother are walking out the door to go to dinner (as there was, well, no power to prepare food).
8:27 p.m.: returning home, victoria and mother prepare for "sex & the city".
resumes will be customized tomorrow, i suppose. talk about a frustrating day ... i was without electricity, without a car (if i'd had a car available, i would have been trapsing around burlington, which would have been ever so much more delightful), without phone capabilities (no electricity for land phone, no reception for cell phone), without the ability to listen to music and an abundance of bees that seemed to be lying in wait to try attacking me if i tried relaxing on the front lawn. everything i tried to do was met with another obstacle ... it actually wound up being quite amusing by the end to see how things could get messed up. fortunately, things improved after i had an opportunity to connect with another member of the human race when my mother came home from work at 4:45. hurrah!
the tigers had better be preparing for an asswhoopin' tomorrow evening ... yippee for fenway park festivities!!!
1:05 p.m.: victoria is reassured of her brilliance when she is relieved to find she emailed herself her updated resume and kickass cover letter before leaving the d.c. area.
1:07 p.m.: victoria, having downloaded resume and accompanying clips to her computer, begins making the first customizations to resume and cover letter for first position she is applying for.
1:08 p.m.: power goes out.
6:09 p.m.: power resumes as victoria and her mother are walking out the door to go to dinner (as there was, well, no power to prepare food).
8:27 p.m.: returning home, victoria and mother prepare for "sex & the city".
resumes will be customized tomorrow, i suppose. talk about a frustrating day ... i was without electricity, without a car (if i'd had a car available, i would have been trapsing around burlington, which would have been ever so much more delightful), without phone capabilities (no electricity for land phone, no reception for cell phone), without the ability to listen to music and an abundance of bees that seemed to be lying in wait to try attacking me if i tried relaxing on the front lawn. everything i tried to do was met with another obstacle ... it actually wound up being quite amusing by the end to see how things could get messed up. fortunately, things improved after i had an opportunity to connect with another member of the human race when my mother came home from work at 4:45. hurrah!
the tigers had better be preparing for an asswhoopin' tomorrow evening ... yippee for fenway park festivities!!!
7.20.2003
while currently experiencing the fun exhausted/wired sensation derived from overall lack of sleep, i need to post about the events of yesterday and today, as they proved to be absolutely phenomenal ...
yesterday was the great boston road trip with miss elizabeth, as we were traveling to paradise to see averi - beth's introduction to the venue and my first trip there in just under a year, not to mention my first real experience with actually driving into the city (note: probably because i don't have to do it frequently, there is something i just love about driving in or around boston. probably also because i just love boston in general, but i digress). after making storrow drive my bitch (bwahahaha), we arrived at the upper end of commonwealth and made our way to t's pub, which brought back memories of paradise concerts of the past and overall warm fuzzy feelings about the city (not to mention my glee about having the red sox game projected onto a huge screen behind me, despite the fact that the sox were losing to the blue jays while we were there and, in fact, wound up losing 4-1 - boo ... ). since our timing was impeccable, we were in the club with plenty of time to spare (we actually wound up having more time than expected, as the schedule for the night was pushed back an hour - averi was originally to go on around 10:30, but when we arrived, we found that they were going to go on at 11:30 instead and, upon discovering that, we counted our lucky stars for deciding to drive into the city instead of taking the t, the last of which left north station at 12:10. it would have been "hi averi, bye averi" if we'd ridden in from beverly). after listening to missing joe, who were pretty good and were obviously having so much fun, which was great to see in an adorable they're-living-out-their-rock-star-dreams sort of way, we met up with miss michelle and waited through a set by another random band that i wasn't impressed with (the three of us agreed that attempting to channel bono is an impossible task that no one, no matter how talented, should attempt to do - covering a u2 song is one thing, but trying to BE u2 is something else entirely) before averi (which, for the record, i should make sure everyone is aware is pronounced a-ver-e, not ah-ver-e ... if you're going to try to come off like a huge fan, know the band's name, ok?) took the stage. the guys obviously were having a great time performing for the packed and highly energetic crowd - in fact, having a great time in more ways than one. not only were they incredibly excited about the crowd energy and devotion, they also were enjoying the libations provided ... a band that takes shots onstage together sticks together, right? ;-) chad proved particularly hilarious, providing a plethora of hilarious quotes for the night, including "if elivis was here, i'd tell him his daughter's a bitch!" and "mom, your son drinks like a champ!"
while the entire set was phenomenal, probably the best i've seen them play (save, of course, my show, as that will forever be my favorite averi experience - what can i say? i'm biased.), my favorite two songs were probably "flutter" and "this liminal life". while my favorite song off of "direction of motion", "flutter" was particularly amazing because i was able to participate in and experience one of my favorite types of concert moments - when a musician or band tells the audience to feel free to sing along and the audience winds up singing so loudly that the singer/singers stop singing and just accompanies instrumentally. i always love the expression on the particular musician/musicians face/faces ... the look on chad's face as the audience sang the first four lines was so full of joy - i can't even begin to imagine what an amazing sensation it must have been for him.
and then there was "this liminal life". i can't believe i didn't like the song when i first got the album - it's one of my favorites now and always a favorite when i see them live (largely because matt has the greatest facial expressions while he plays drums on that particular song). since it's the big averi "dance song", the band invited anyone interested up on stage to dance and i wound up heading up there with michelle to rock out (after being pushed towards the stage, i wound up getting her up there with me - someone who shall remain nameless - oops, i lied - BETH - chose to remain in front of the stage) with the crowd of others who wanted to move their bodies and spill their drinks on the stage while dancing around or with various members of the band (the gold star goes to the tall guy who was grinding with and pretending to spank the ass of chad). SO MUCH FUN.
anyway, the set was tight, the band was incredible and everyone seemed to have a great time. it was wonderful to hang out with beth and michelle and be the three silly, fun girls we've been known to be from time to time (hehehehehe ... debauchery). following the performance, everyone was crowding around the merch table to congratulate/request autographs from the band and i made my way over to say hi to chad and congratulate him on a great show. he was signing tons of cds, posters and whatnot and looked up to see who was next and did a major doubletake (not quite as huge as my howie doubletake back at the paradise pmb show, but a valiant effort) upon seeing me and, to my delight, recognized me in his tipsy state and gave me a huge hug and said he was happy to see me and that he'd thought he saw me earlier but didn't know if it was me and if i'd cut my hair or not. i congratulated him quickly and wished him well before letting the rest of the crowd talk to him, but it felt great to be able to get a big hug and smile and to be able to give him props for a job well done.
after a brief return to t's pub, taking on mapquest directions (honestly, who says to take a slight left when you really want to just go straight?), storrow drive, bumper-to-bumper traffic at 3 a.m. (let's give a big hand to the big dig for making it next to impossible to get to 93 north!) and a thunderstorm, we arrived in beverly safe, sound and exhausted. but because at that point we were so tired we were wired, sleep didn't occur until around 5 ... so while i woke up at 10:30 and immediately cursed myself for sleeping in too late, i quickly realized i'd only slept for five and a half hours.
after preparing for the day and thanking my grandmother and uncle for letting up crash at their house, beth and i headed to downtown beverly to meet up for lunch with andrew, a friend of mine from high school now living in the area. i hadn't seen him for about three years, so it was a fun trip down memory lane, laughing over names and faces we hadn't thought about in years and catching up on what we've all been up to. good times ...
following that, i introduced beth to richardson's dairy, my favorite ice cream place growing up, before heading back to vermont, making a quick driveby down central street in middleton to show her the first house i ever lived in. i hadn't seen the street in years - it's amazing how it looked the same yet so incredibly different ... while i have my memories of living there, it felt like a sort of twilight zone form of reality, actually seeing the house, seeing the house across the street where my friend meghan used to live painted a completely different color, seeing flowers where there was simply grass before, my red house now gray with white trim, the small bushes my parents planted now large and plush ... then realizing i haven't lived there for, what, almost eighteen years?
aaaah - and now i sit here, reflecting on the past two days, the memories birthed during the past 48 hours and the memories dug up from the past, looking at a small pile of mementos - a concert ticket, a flyer, a bumper sticker, averi's first EP (finally bought myself a copy - about time, right?) and a random cd by a female singer/songwriter they were handing out at the show. a smile on my face while "flutter" dances in my head and my bed begins to beckon to me, offering to sweep me away to the land of dreams ...
but, before i answer the call of my bed, this week's friday five, only a little late ...
1. when was the last time you cheated?
cheated at what? a game? a test? or just overall? probably a couple of days ago, when i skipped the last part of my kickboxing routine because i was tired.
2. when was the last time you stole?
i stole my brother's green day album a couple of weeks ago - he never listens to it anyway and i think it's classic. :-)
3. when was the last time you lied?
this evening, when i tried to come off like there was no twitterpation this weekend. "no, it was just good to see them - i'm not THAT silly." they called my bluff. damn my lack of ability to keep the s.k. expression off my face (of which i was reminded many, many times last night by elizabeth and michelle).
4. when was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property?
hmm ... does my brother's hair count? if so, i accidentally vandalized it a couple of weeks ago when i was trying to shave the non-mohawked parts of his hair and wound up taking off a chunk of one of his spikes ...
5. when was the last time you hurt a loved one?
last week, getting into a foolish little fight with my parents.
yesterday was the great boston road trip with miss elizabeth, as we were traveling to paradise to see averi - beth's introduction to the venue and my first trip there in just under a year, not to mention my first real experience with actually driving into the city (note: probably because i don't have to do it frequently, there is something i just love about driving in or around boston. probably also because i just love boston in general, but i digress). after making storrow drive my bitch (bwahahaha), we arrived at the upper end of commonwealth and made our way to t's pub, which brought back memories of paradise concerts of the past and overall warm fuzzy feelings about the city (not to mention my glee about having the red sox game projected onto a huge screen behind me, despite the fact that the sox were losing to the blue jays while we were there and, in fact, wound up losing 4-1 - boo ... ). since our timing was impeccable, we were in the club with plenty of time to spare (we actually wound up having more time than expected, as the schedule for the night was pushed back an hour - averi was originally to go on around 10:30, but when we arrived, we found that they were going to go on at 11:30 instead and, upon discovering that, we counted our lucky stars for deciding to drive into the city instead of taking the t, the last of which left north station at 12:10. it would have been "hi averi, bye averi" if we'd ridden in from beverly). after listening to missing joe, who were pretty good and were obviously having so much fun, which was great to see in an adorable they're-living-out-their-rock-star-dreams sort of way, we met up with miss michelle and waited through a set by another random band that i wasn't impressed with (the three of us agreed that attempting to channel bono is an impossible task that no one, no matter how talented, should attempt to do - covering a u2 song is one thing, but trying to BE u2 is something else entirely) before averi (which, for the record, i should make sure everyone is aware is pronounced a-ver-e, not ah-ver-e ... if you're going to try to come off like a huge fan, know the band's name, ok?) took the stage. the guys obviously were having a great time performing for the packed and highly energetic crowd - in fact, having a great time in more ways than one. not only were they incredibly excited about the crowd energy and devotion, they also were enjoying the libations provided ... a band that takes shots onstage together sticks together, right? ;-) chad proved particularly hilarious, providing a plethora of hilarious quotes for the night, including "if elivis was here, i'd tell him his daughter's a bitch!" and "mom, your son drinks like a champ!"
while the entire set was phenomenal, probably the best i've seen them play (save, of course, my show, as that will forever be my favorite averi experience - what can i say? i'm biased.), my favorite two songs were probably "flutter" and "this liminal life". while my favorite song off of "direction of motion", "flutter" was particularly amazing because i was able to participate in and experience one of my favorite types of concert moments - when a musician or band tells the audience to feel free to sing along and the audience winds up singing so loudly that the singer/singers stop singing and just accompanies instrumentally. i always love the expression on the particular musician/musicians face/faces ... the look on chad's face as the audience sang the first four lines was so full of joy - i can't even begin to imagine what an amazing sensation it must have been for him.
and then there was "this liminal life". i can't believe i didn't like the song when i first got the album - it's one of my favorites now and always a favorite when i see them live (largely because matt has the greatest facial expressions while he plays drums on that particular song). since it's the big averi "dance song", the band invited anyone interested up on stage to dance and i wound up heading up there with michelle to rock out (after being pushed towards the stage, i wound up getting her up there with me - someone who shall remain nameless - oops, i lied - BETH - chose to remain in front of the stage) with the crowd of others who wanted to move their bodies and spill their drinks on the stage while dancing around or with various members of the band (the gold star goes to the tall guy who was grinding with and pretending to spank the ass of chad). SO MUCH FUN.
anyway, the set was tight, the band was incredible and everyone seemed to have a great time. it was wonderful to hang out with beth and michelle and be the three silly, fun girls we've been known to be from time to time (hehehehehe ... debauchery). following the performance, everyone was crowding around the merch table to congratulate/request autographs from the band and i made my way over to say hi to chad and congratulate him on a great show. he was signing tons of cds, posters and whatnot and looked up to see who was next and did a major doubletake (not quite as huge as my howie doubletake back at the paradise pmb show, but a valiant effort) upon seeing me and, to my delight, recognized me in his tipsy state and gave me a huge hug and said he was happy to see me and that he'd thought he saw me earlier but didn't know if it was me and if i'd cut my hair or not. i congratulated him quickly and wished him well before letting the rest of the crowd talk to him, but it felt great to be able to get a big hug and smile and to be able to give him props for a job well done.
after a brief return to t's pub, taking on mapquest directions (honestly, who says to take a slight left when you really want to just go straight?), storrow drive, bumper-to-bumper traffic at 3 a.m. (let's give a big hand to the big dig for making it next to impossible to get to 93 north!) and a thunderstorm, we arrived in beverly safe, sound and exhausted. but because at that point we were so tired we were wired, sleep didn't occur until around 5 ... so while i woke up at 10:30 and immediately cursed myself for sleeping in too late, i quickly realized i'd only slept for five and a half hours.
after preparing for the day and thanking my grandmother and uncle for letting up crash at their house, beth and i headed to downtown beverly to meet up for lunch with andrew, a friend of mine from high school now living in the area. i hadn't seen him for about three years, so it was a fun trip down memory lane, laughing over names and faces we hadn't thought about in years and catching up on what we've all been up to. good times ...
following that, i introduced beth to richardson's dairy, my favorite ice cream place growing up, before heading back to vermont, making a quick driveby down central street in middleton to show her the first house i ever lived in. i hadn't seen the street in years - it's amazing how it looked the same yet so incredibly different ... while i have my memories of living there, it felt like a sort of twilight zone form of reality, actually seeing the house, seeing the house across the street where my friend meghan used to live painted a completely different color, seeing flowers where there was simply grass before, my red house now gray with white trim, the small bushes my parents planted now large and plush ... then realizing i haven't lived there for, what, almost eighteen years?
aaaah - and now i sit here, reflecting on the past two days, the memories birthed during the past 48 hours and the memories dug up from the past, looking at a small pile of mementos - a concert ticket, a flyer, a bumper sticker, averi's first EP (finally bought myself a copy - about time, right?) and a random cd by a female singer/songwriter they were handing out at the show. a smile on my face while "flutter" dances in my head and my bed begins to beckon to me, offering to sweep me away to the land of dreams ...
but, before i answer the call of my bed, this week's friday five, only a little late ...
1. when was the last time you cheated?
cheated at what? a game? a test? or just overall? probably a couple of days ago, when i skipped the last part of my kickboxing routine because i was tired.
2. when was the last time you stole?
i stole my brother's green day album a couple of weeks ago - he never listens to it anyway and i think it's classic. :-)
3. when was the last time you lied?
this evening, when i tried to come off like there was no twitterpation this weekend. "no, it was just good to see them - i'm not THAT silly." they called my bluff. damn my lack of ability to keep the s.k. expression off my face (of which i was reminded many, many times last night by elizabeth and michelle).
4. when was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property?
hmm ... does my brother's hair count? if so, i accidentally vandalized it a couple of weeks ago when i was trying to shave the non-mohawked parts of his hair and wound up taking off a chunk of one of his spikes ...
5. when was the last time you hurt a loved one?
last week, getting into a foolish little fight with my parents.
7.17.2003
the whirlwind road trip adventure begins tomorrow! i'm psyched - the next few days should be great ... tomorrow afternoon, beth and i are heading to boston for averi, followed by a return to vermont saturday. perhaps a mini-roadtrip on sunday, followed by the just-offered opportunity to go back to boston on monday for the red sox/tigers game at fenway with my father and a couple of his coworkers ... whoo hoo!!!
7.13.2003
because it seems that all i do lately on here are surveys (a post of substance follows - just to keep y'all on your toes!):
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
* a journalism job
* orlando bloom ;-)
* a british accent
* stamps in my passport (oh wait - make that that i wish i had a passport to have stamps in)
Name Four Scents You Love:
* vanilla
* cocoa butter
* coffee
* the scents that drift out of a dressing room in a theatre (flowers, makeup, powder, perfume all mingled in together with a healthy dose of excitement)
Name Two People You Know Best:
* my family (they should count as one entity)
* beth
Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
* bikini
* tube top
* stilletto platform shoes
* dog collar jewlery (sorry, tom)
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About:
* what to do, career-wise
* where to live
* when i'm heading back to d.c.
* how much progress i'm making in the whole recovery process
Name Four Things You Did Today:
* ate breakfast
* fought unsuccessfully with a vcr
* found the world's cheesiest exercise program on the health network
* cleaned the kitchen and living room
Name Four Artists/Albums Most People Don't Know You Like:
* old school aerosmith
* the doors
* green day
* the beatles
APPEARANCE
- hair: currently in a state of discontent. blonde, kind of short, but not supershort. i tried to have it cut like kiera knightley has it in "bend it like beckham" but, because it's so thick, it didn't work out the way i hoped it would and i now have these sort of layers that i'm not crazy about. i'm contemplating having the ends bobbed so it's all relatively the same length so i can just grow it out again.
- height: i'd always thought i was at least 5'6, but i found out that i'm actually 5'5 3/4. i never thought the phantom 1/4 of an inch would be a big deal, but i was informed that i am NOT 5'6 - i am 5'5 3/4. so i'll just go with that.
- favorite feature: probably my voice.
STYLE
- clothing: depends. in my down time, i dress for comfort, but i've also started, without fully realizing it, adding a more classic slant. primarily, i think, so i didn't have to buy a ton of clothes between work, going out and down time. but i like a ton of different things and love, on occasion, to add to my silly clothing collection. i also have a plethora of concert/band tshirts because i'm a music whore. ;-)
- music: a genre i have dubbed "alternacoustic" and a variety of others. primarily singer/songwriters and alternative, but really, almost anything can go - although i'm not crazy about country or rap.
- makeup: depends on how ambitious i feel.
- body art: no ink and far fewer holes than i used to have. now it's just the ears, although i used to have my ears, cartiledge, tongue and navel.
- shoes: sneakers (black adidas sambas and old-school-looking red reeboks), sandals and swinger shoes.
LAST THING YOU...
- did: started chewing a piece of gum (yes beth, i'm addicted)
- read: my brother's livejournal.
- watched on tv: bodies in motion - the cheesiest exercise show EVER.
EITHER / OR
- club or house party: depends. generally house party, though.
- tea or coffee: coffee!!!!
- high achiever or easy-going: high achiever.
- cats or dogs: ferret. ;-) both are fine, although i don't want one in my place.
- pen or pencil: pen. blue ink.
- gloves or mittens: gloves.
- cassette or cd: cd.
- snuff or cigarettes: snuff is nasty.
- coke or pepsi: coke.
- matches or a lighter: lighter. less likely to burn myself.
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: neither.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: no one?
- hear from: a newspaper. preferrably with a job offer.
- look like: kate hudson
- be like: linda winer (theatre critic - NEWSDAY)
FAVORITE
- food: mexican.
- drink: behaving myself: french vanilla iced coffee. debauchery: vodka cranberry or midori sour.
- color: water colors (blues, greens, indigo)
- shoes: since it's summer, sandals or nothing.
- site: jasonmraz.com ;-)
- song: constantly changing. currently, "you and i both" (mraz) or "follow through" (gavin degraw).
- vegetable: broccoli.
- fruit: strawberry.
LAST TIME..
- last movie you saw: hmm ... i think that would be "death to smoochy".
- last movie you saw on the big screen: "alex & emma".
- last thing you had to drink: water
- last thing you ate: bowl of strawberry burst cheerios.
- last time you cried: a couple of days ago.
- last time you smiled: about thirty minutes ago.
- last time you laughed: last night.
- last time you danced: last night. something about oldies - can't NOT dance to them.
- last person you hugged: my mother.
- last thing you said: "i'm awake, i'm awake ..."
- last person you talked to online: over email - carolyn. over IM, left a message with andrew.
- last thing you smelled: uh ... my house? cocoa butter body lotion.
ok, so now the Post of Substance. no pressure there, right? i'm still here, i'm still doing well. actually, i'm doing really well, which proves to be both positive and negative. first, the positive. i'm happy. i feel like myself again - silly, a wise-ass, energized, etc. i don't feel the tension, both physical and emotional, that has been plaguing me. i'm also much healthier - i've gained about fifteen pounds since leaving d.c. yay ... go me. anyway. while i'm feeling the itch to work again (from the desire to move and have a sense of purpose standpoint, not necessarily from the standpoint of wanting to resume my office work), having the opportunity to take time to think things over and reevaluate has been incredibly beneficial - i needed this. furthermore, it has been amazing to be around my friends and feel like there are people around me who are really interested and invested in how i'm doing and how i'm feeling. the sense of being able to give and receive love and friendship with no questions asked is something i didn't realize i was (for the most part) missing until i had it again - and i love it. for that, my dear friends, i thank you.
anyway - quick summary. a lot of eating ;-), a lot of laughter and visits with friends. discovery of "the search for america's next top model", enhanced by wine and con queso. fourth of july weekend spent in ashland, massachusetts (chucky d's hometown) and boston, where beth, chuck and i had a great day roaming the city, posing with oversized goldfish and, in the evening, experiencing the boston pops in person (complete with leann rimes and the mormon tabernacle choir - how much more appropriate can you get???). honeydew iced coffee is better than dunkies - although the reunion between vickie and dunkies iced coffee has been great, except for the morons who work at the rutland dunkies by the bowlerama. the latest harry potter book was fantastic, "girl, interrupted" is a better book than the movie, i'm learning to cook. a quick visit to the north shore, adventures with deer (damn bambi), but i inacted my revenge with the venison burger i had at chuck's last night. god bless all-new episodes of "sex & the city" and the morons of "real world: paris" - they should have kicked donnell off of "road rules" if they booted abrahm.
what else? tomorrow begins my return to soccer exercise - can't wait to run around and kick around a soccer ball! other than that, that's the real quick summary. vermont has been good to me. ;-)
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
* a journalism job
* orlando bloom ;-)
* a british accent
* stamps in my passport (oh wait - make that that i wish i had a passport to have stamps in)
Name Four Scents You Love:
* vanilla
* cocoa butter
* coffee
* the scents that drift out of a dressing room in a theatre (flowers, makeup, powder, perfume all mingled in together with a healthy dose of excitement)
Name Two People You Know Best:
* my family (they should count as one entity)
* beth
Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
* bikini
* tube top
* stilletto platform shoes
* dog collar jewlery (sorry, tom)
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About:
* what to do, career-wise
* where to live
* when i'm heading back to d.c.
* how much progress i'm making in the whole recovery process
Name Four Things You Did Today:
* ate breakfast
* fought unsuccessfully with a vcr
* found the world's cheesiest exercise program on the health network
* cleaned the kitchen and living room
Name Four Artists/Albums Most People Don't Know You Like:
* old school aerosmith
* the doors
* green day
* the beatles
APPEARANCE
- hair: currently in a state of discontent. blonde, kind of short, but not supershort. i tried to have it cut like kiera knightley has it in "bend it like beckham" but, because it's so thick, it didn't work out the way i hoped it would and i now have these sort of layers that i'm not crazy about. i'm contemplating having the ends bobbed so it's all relatively the same length so i can just grow it out again.
- height: i'd always thought i was at least 5'6, but i found out that i'm actually 5'5 3/4. i never thought the phantom 1/4 of an inch would be a big deal, but i was informed that i am NOT 5'6 - i am 5'5 3/4. so i'll just go with that.
- favorite feature: probably my voice.
STYLE
- clothing: depends. in my down time, i dress for comfort, but i've also started, without fully realizing it, adding a more classic slant. primarily, i think, so i didn't have to buy a ton of clothes between work, going out and down time. but i like a ton of different things and love, on occasion, to add to my silly clothing collection. i also have a plethora of concert/band tshirts because i'm a music whore. ;-)
- music: a genre i have dubbed "alternacoustic" and a variety of others. primarily singer/songwriters and alternative, but really, almost anything can go - although i'm not crazy about country or rap.
- makeup: depends on how ambitious i feel.
- body art: no ink and far fewer holes than i used to have. now it's just the ears, although i used to have my ears, cartiledge, tongue and navel.
- shoes: sneakers (black adidas sambas and old-school-looking red reeboks), sandals and swinger shoes.
LAST THING YOU...
- did: started chewing a piece of gum (yes beth, i'm addicted)
- read: my brother's livejournal.
- watched on tv: bodies in motion - the cheesiest exercise show EVER.
EITHER / OR
- club or house party: depends. generally house party, though.
- tea or coffee: coffee!!!!
- high achiever or easy-going: high achiever.
- cats or dogs: ferret. ;-) both are fine, although i don't want one in my place.
- pen or pencil: pen. blue ink.
- gloves or mittens: gloves.
- cassette or cd: cd.
- snuff or cigarettes: snuff is nasty.
- coke or pepsi: coke.
- matches or a lighter: lighter. less likely to burn myself.
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: neither.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: no one?
- hear from: a newspaper. preferrably with a job offer.
- look like: kate hudson
- be like: linda winer (theatre critic - NEWSDAY)
FAVORITE
- food: mexican.
- drink: behaving myself: french vanilla iced coffee. debauchery: vodka cranberry or midori sour.
- color: water colors (blues, greens, indigo)
- shoes: since it's summer, sandals or nothing.
- site: jasonmraz.com ;-)
- song: constantly changing. currently, "you and i both" (mraz) or "follow through" (gavin degraw).
- vegetable: broccoli.
- fruit: strawberry.
LAST TIME..
- last movie you saw: hmm ... i think that would be "death to smoochy".
- last movie you saw on the big screen: "alex & emma".
- last thing you had to drink: water
- last thing you ate: bowl of strawberry burst cheerios.
- last time you cried: a couple of days ago.
- last time you smiled: about thirty minutes ago.
- last time you laughed: last night.
- last time you danced: last night. something about oldies - can't NOT dance to them.
- last person you hugged: my mother.
- last thing you said: "i'm awake, i'm awake ..."
- last person you talked to online: over email - carolyn. over IM, left a message with andrew.
- last thing you smelled: uh ... my house? cocoa butter body lotion.
ok, so now the Post of Substance. no pressure there, right? i'm still here, i'm still doing well. actually, i'm doing really well, which proves to be both positive and negative. first, the positive. i'm happy. i feel like myself again - silly, a wise-ass, energized, etc. i don't feel the tension, both physical and emotional, that has been plaguing me. i'm also much healthier - i've gained about fifteen pounds since leaving d.c. yay ... go me. anyway. while i'm feeling the itch to work again (from the desire to move and have a sense of purpose standpoint, not necessarily from the standpoint of wanting to resume my office work), having the opportunity to take time to think things over and reevaluate has been incredibly beneficial - i needed this. furthermore, it has been amazing to be around my friends and feel like there are people around me who are really interested and invested in how i'm doing and how i'm feeling. the sense of being able to give and receive love and friendship with no questions asked is something i didn't realize i was (for the most part) missing until i had it again - and i love it. for that, my dear friends, i thank you.
anyway - quick summary. a lot of eating ;-), a lot of laughter and visits with friends. discovery of "the search for america's next top model", enhanced by wine and con queso. fourth of july weekend spent in ashland, massachusetts (chucky d's hometown) and boston, where beth, chuck and i had a great day roaming the city, posing with oversized goldfish and, in the evening, experiencing the boston pops in person (complete with leann rimes and the mormon tabernacle choir - how much more appropriate can you get???). honeydew iced coffee is better than dunkies - although the reunion between vickie and dunkies iced coffee has been great, except for the morons who work at the rutland dunkies by the bowlerama. the latest harry potter book was fantastic, "girl, interrupted" is a better book than the movie, i'm learning to cook. a quick visit to the north shore, adventures with deer (damn bambi), but i inacted my revenge with the venison burger i had at chuck's last night. god bless all-new episodes of "sex & the city" and the morons of "real world: paris" - they should have kicked donnell off of "road rules" if they booted abrahm.
what else? tomorrow begins my return to soccer exercise - can't wait to run around and kick around a soccer ball! other than that, that's the real quick summary. vermont has been good to me. ;-)
6.30.2003
time for a few surveys ...
first, the friday five from this past weekend.
1. how are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
well, working, enjoying myself and, for right now, focusing on getting healthy, spending time with friends and figuring out what i'm going to do next.
2. what was your first summer job?
summer of '96. a naive 15-year-old enters the realm of ronald mcdonald and the twisted world that turns beneath the golden arches.
3. if you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
hmm ... i'm pretty content where i'm at right now.
4. what was your worst vacation ever?
i don't think i've had any really BAD vacations, to be honest ... the worst short leisure activity was third grade, when my class went on a whale watch and we were caught in a huge storm and the boat almost capsized ...
5. what was your best vacation ever?
i was in seventh grade when the fam went to florida. disney world, an orlando magic game and a trip to kennedy space center. it was awesome.
and now, stolen from my brother ...
1.) what was your fav 80's cartoon?
it was all about the smurfs. and while i have no recollection of actually watching the cartoon, i used to LOVE rainbow brite - i dressed up as her one year and had all of the dolls and books and whatnot. so i'm going to assume that i loved that as well. in the later 80s, one must give props to jem as well!
2) what did you dress up as the last time you went trick or treating?
the last time i went trick or treating, i was dressed as a little kid, pjs, pigtails, pacifier, etc. that was freshman year of college. the last time i dressed up for halloween, it was a two-night affair - one night i was little red riding hood, the second night i was a flower child.
3)if you could be an inatimate object, what would you be?
this opens up so many possibilities ... i think i'd go with a guitar.
4) when did you realize that you didn't believe in god?
i don't know what i believe when it comes to religion, so i can't say i don't necessarily believe in god or a god-like being ... but i can't say i do, either. let's just say i've decided that there are other things, tangible things i can figure out, that i can spend more of my energy figuring out.
5) would you rather die by drowing, being hanged, being beheaded, or shot in the head? why?
wow, the feel-good question of the survey ... if i was guaranteed to die, i'd want to be shot in the head from behind - that is, being completely unaware that it was going to happen. i don't want to know that i'm dying - i'd much rather die suddenly, without fear and without wasting away.
first, the friday five from this past weekend.
1. how are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
well, working, enjoying myself and, for right now, focusing on getting healthy, spending time with friends and figuring out what i'm going to do next.
2. what was your first summer job?
summer of '96. a naive 15-year-old enters the realm of ronald mcdonald and the twisted world that turns beneath the golden arches.
3. if you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
hmm ... i'm pretty content where i'm at right now.
4. what was your worst vacation ever?
i don't think i've had any really BAD vacations, to be honest ... the worst short leisure activity was third grade, when my class went on a whale watch and we were caught in a huge storm and the boat almost capsized ...
5. what was your best vacation ever?
i was in seventh grade when the fam went to florida. disney world, an orlando magic game and a trip to kennedy space center. it was awesome.
and now, stolen from my brother ...
1.) what was your fav 80's cartoon?
it was all about the smurfs. and while i have no recollection of actually watching the cartoon, i used to LOVE rainbow brite - i dressed up as her one year and had all of the dolls and books and whatnot. so i'm going to assume that i loved that as well. in the later 80s, one must give props to jem as well!
2) what did you dress up as the last time you went trick or treating?
the last time i went trick or treating, i was dressed as a little kid, pjs, pigtails, pacifier, etc. that was freshman year of college. the last time i dressed up for halloween, it was a two-night affair - one night i was little red riding hood, the second night i was a flower child.
3)if you could be an inatimate object, what would you be?
this opens up so many possibilities ... i think i'd go with a guitar.
4) when did you realize that you didn't believe in god?
i don't know what i believe when it comes to religion, so i can't say i don't necessarily believe in god or a god-like being ... but i can't say i do, either. let's just say i've decided that there are other things, tangible things i can figure out, that i can spend more of my energy figuring out.
5) would you rather die by drowing, being hanged, being beheaded, or shot in the head? why?
wow, the feel-good question of the survey ... if i was guaranteed to die, i'd want to be shot in the head from behind - that is, being completely unaware that it was going to happen. i don't want to know that i'm dying - i'd much rather die suddenly, without fear and without wasting away.
6.25.2003
well, ok, i'm almost bound for bed. but i can't pass up these damn survey things. they're like my reality tv addiction.
1. what's your favorite cheese? con queso. hehehe. ;-)
2. how long do you hold onto odd socks before giving up on finding their mate? it ultimately comes down to a basic reality - the second i get rid of the mateless sock, the mate shows up. so i hold onto them for awhile - i always wind up with a little collection of them. kind of like the island of misfit toys from the claymation rudolph tv show, if you know what i'm referencing.
3. who was your favorite musical artist when you were 15? hmm ... i can't remember ... that would have been sophomore year of high school? at that point, i believe i was in my country phase - might have been tim mcgraw or garth brooks. but at that point i was listening to all sorts of random stuff, so you can also throw weezer into the mix.
4. what shape are your fingernails in right now? ah, i wish i'd been asked before the return flight. not the greatest, i must admit.
5. two scoops: of what? how appropriate, as i initiated operation i this evening, rounding up my family and taking us to seward's - hey, it was for medicinal purposes. so as of tonight, it was strawberry frozen yogurt in frappe form.
6. what's your earliest memory? i'm not sure which came first, but my two earliest memories are the hospital room where my mother stayed after giving birth to my brother (green walls and a white streamlined phone that i was fascinated with) and lying on the rust-colored carpet in the living room of our house in middleton (massachusetts) - both of which date back to the age of two and a half.
7. when does your pet look funniest? when it's imaginary. as it is now.
8. what do you collect? memories and anecdotes, photographs, concert posters. at times, shot glasses.
9. what's better than sex? how many people do you think answer this with "chocolate"? i bet zillions do ...
10. what things are you brand-loyal to? chicken fajita burritos, man. ;-)
11. favorite dr. seuss book? while i connect with "oh the places you'll go!", i had an experience in junior high involving "the zorax" that rendered it my favorite - and i think it always will be. although i must say i've always been more of a shel silverstein girl.
12. best meal you've had lately? hmm ... i've had quite a few, courtesy of vegas ... probably dinner at either bally's or the golden nugget. buffets with endless quantities of tasty options.
13. peanut butter and ________? it was always preferrably pb and fluff. or, more appropriately, it was fluff with a hint of peanut butter. but i haven't had a pb & ___ sandwich in eons.
14. who's your favorite poet? sylvia plath.
15. where are you going on vacation this year? did i mention that i was having a lovely time in las vegas at this point a week ago? and that i'm currently vacationing (sort of) in vermont at this moment in time?
16. if you could change careers tomorrow with no strings attached, what would you be? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. make me lois lane.
17. whaddya drive? when in vt, trusty red (my green saturn sl1). when in dc, an imaginary flinstones car.
18. what's your poison? arsenic. if that's not available, vodka or midori.
19. the color of the carpet or the kind of floor in the room you are sitting in right now. wood floors painted a slate blue.
20. what's on your walls? which walls? the walls of the room i'm in right now? endless punk rock posters (i'm in my brother's room). in my vt room? not much of anything at the moment. in my dc room? various pieces of framed artwork (including some french posters and a van gogh), photographs and theatre mementos. as well as particularly meaningful cards and whatnot. basically, my memories are on my walls there.
1. what's your favorite cheese? con queso. hehehe. ;-)
2. how long do you hold onto odd socks before giving up on finding their mate? it ultimately comes down to a basic reality - the second i get rid of the mateless sock, the mate shows up. so i hold onto them for awhile - i always wind up with a little collection of them. kind of like the island of misfit toys from the claymation rudolph tv show, if you know what i'm referencing.
3. who was your favorite musical artist when you were 15? hmm ... i can't remember ... that would have been sophomore year of high school? at that point, i believe i was in my country phase - might have been tim mcgraw or garth brooks. but at that point i was listening to all sorts of random stuff, so you can also throw weezer into the mix.
4. what shape are your fingernails in right now? ah, i wish i'd been asked before the return flight. not the greatest, i must admit.
5. two scoops: of what? how appropriate, as i initiated operation i this evening, rounding up my family and taking us to seward's - hey, it was for medicinal purposes. so as of tonight, it was strawberry frozen yogurt in frappe form.
6. what's your earliest memory? i'm not sure which came first, but my two earliest memories are the hospital room where my mother stayed after giving birth to my brother (green walls and a white streamlined phone that i was fascinated with) and lying on the rust-colored carpet in the living room of our house in middleton (massachusetts) - both of which date back to the age of two and a half.
7. when does your pet look funniest? when it's imaginary. as it is now.
8. what do you collect? memories and anecdotes, photographs, concert posters. at times, shot glasses.
9. what's better than sex? how many people do you think answer this with "chocolate"? i bet zillions do ...
10. what things are you brand-loyal to? chicken fajita burritos, man. ;-)
11. favorite dr. seuss book? while i connect with "oh the places you'll go!", i had an experience in junior high involving "the zorax" that rendered it my favorite - and i think it always will be. although i must say i've always been more of a shel silverstein girl.
12. best meal you've had lately? hmm ... i've had quite a few, courtesy of vegas ... probably dinner at either bally's or the golden nugget. buffets with endless quantities of tasty options.
13. peanut butter and ________? it was always preferrably pb and fluff. or, more appropriately, it was fluff with a hint of peanut butter. but i haven't had a pb & ___ sandwich in eons.
14. who's your favorite poet? sylvia plath.
15. where are you going on vacation this year? did i mention that i was having a lovely time in las vegas at this point a week ago? and that i'm currently vacationing (sort of) in vermont at this moment in time?
16. if you could change careers tomorrow with no strings attached, what would you be? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. make me lois lane.
17. whaddya drive? when in vt, trusty red (my green saturn sl1). when in dc, an imaginary flinstones car.
18. what's your poison? arsenic. if that's not available, vodka or midori.
19. the color of the carpet or the kind of floor in the room you are sitting in right now. wood floors painted a slate blue.
20. what's on your walls? which walls? the walls of the room i'm in right now? endless punk rock posters (i'm in my brother's room). in my vt room? not much of anything at the moment. in my dc room? various pieces of framed artwork (including some french posters and a van gogh), photographs and theatre mementos. as well as particularly meaningful cards and whatnot. basically, my memories are on my walls there.
6.24.2003
.....because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.....
- jack kerouac -- "on the road"
haha - thought i disappeared, didn't you? fear not, i'm still kicking, albeit in vermont at the moment ... but kicking nonetheless. i'm now in the midst of the vickie vacation in vermont via vegas, and a surreal experience it has already been. i suppose it's to be expected, having kicked off in the most blatant example of a city of surreal reality, right?
but i'm getting ahead of myself, as normal. i suppose a good place to start is at the beginnng. so here goes ...
so last tuesday, i hopped on a jet plane and flew to sin city for approximately five days. there's something so calming about flying thousands of feet in the air, the clouds a thick blanket below while the sky above is a shade of blue that seems almost to glow, it's so rich in hue - i've tried numerous times to describe the sky when i'm in an airplane and have never been able to do it justice - one of the reasons why it's never made it on here before. but i love it, regardless. i flew from baltimore to vegas making a stop in louisville - no offense to all of the kentucky-ites out there, but i wasn't overly impressed. sorry. ;-) fortunately, it was only a brief layover before i made my way to pacific time - how much do i love being able to say that!!!
the time in vegas was a blur of activity - pretty much consisted of walking, eating, walking, gambling, eating, walking, drinking, gambling. it's always difficult to take a bunch of people, each of whom have specific things they want to see/do and make sure everyone's hopes for the time are met. since i had already been there and done just about everything i'd wanted to previously, i took a bit of a backseat, letting the more insistant members of my family get their way. the only two disappointments i found were that i didn't get to get into the guggenheim museum at the venetian for the pop art exhibit they have there and that we didn't get back to the stratosphere to do the big shot (but i'd done that last year). as far as i was concerned, i wanted to make sure 1) everyone had fun, 2) we got to the hard rock hotel and 3) we stopped at harrah's to see the bartenders there (who are famous for "cocktail"-like displays of acrobatic skill). all three goals were met, so i was happy. bonuses: 1) the double bed room we had booked at bally's for the first night turned out to be a bit different than expected. instead of two beds, we wound up with a two-room suite - seven couches and two tvs in the living room (one television was over the BAR - yes, there was a photograph taken of yours truly wearing a cowboy hat sprawled coquettishly on top of said bar, fear not) and one bed in the bedroom. all in all, we wound up with two bathrooms (huge bathtub and bidet in one - hahaha), two rooms, tons of space ... i had no problem curling up that night on one of the couches and drifting off to sleep with a view of the eiffel tower from the paris resort out my window ... 2) i found a fabulous new drink. frozen green lizard. basically similar to a frozen margarita with midori. bueno! 3) freemont street was as fabulous as i remembered. 4) lunch at the cheesecake factory one of the days we were there (haha) - i didn't realize they had one at caesar's palace!
all in all, good times. i stuck to the slot machines and broke about even - didn't gamble too much, but i did manage to score a free cocktail, which i'd always wanted to do, so that was fun. if anything, i actually might have finished a few dollars up, so that's always great.
anyway, sunday was spent crossing back across the country to the right coast of the country, at which point the vermont portion of the vickie sanity break tour began full force. as my mother puts it, i'm "going to learn how to relax and take it easy" if it kills me. which it very well might, i tell you! relaxation is a foreign concept for me - i've already felt bits of stircraziness while everyone else is at work. so i'm writing a great deal (could the great american novel begin to emerge? perhaps ...) and taking care of some other things while i focus on getting stronger and all that.
i'm still adjusting to the whole time zone thing, though, and i realize it's 11:30 and i'm exhausted, which might explain part of the incoherency of this post. but i wanted to drop a line and announce that i am still among the land of the living - paul, expect email and/or a phone call tomorrow!!! :-)
alright, my bed is calling me. ah ...
- jack kerouac -- "on the road"
haha - thought i disappeared, didn't you? fear not, i'm still kicking, albeit in vermont at the moment ... but kicking nonetheless. i'm now in the midst of the vickie vacation in vermont via vegas, and a surreal experience it has already been. i suppose it's to be expected, having kicked off in the most blatant example of a city of surreal reality, right?
but i'm getting ahead of myself, as normal. i suppose a good place to start is at the beginnng. so here goes ...
so last tuesday, i hopped on a jet plane and flew to sin city for approximately five days. there's something so calming about flying thousands of feet in the air, the clouds a thick blanket below while the sky above is a shade of blue that seems almost to glow, it's so rich in hue - i've tried numerous times to describe the sky when i'm in an airplane and have never been able to do it justice - one of the reasons why it's never made it on here before. but i love it, regardless. i flew from baltimore to vegas making a stop in louisville - no offense to all of the kentucky-ites out there, but i wasn't overly impressed. sorry. ;-) fortunately, it was only a brief layover before i made my way to pacific time - how much do i love being able to say that!!!
the time in vegas was a blur of activity - pretty much consisted of walking, eating, walking, gambling, eating, walking, drinking, gambling. it's always difficult to take a bunch of people, each of whom have specific things they want to see/do and make sure everyone's hopes for the time are met. since i had already been there and done just about everything i'd wanted to previously, i took a bit of a backseat, letting the more insistant members of my family get their way. the only two disappointments i found were that i didn't get to get into the guggenheim museum at the venetian for the pop art exhibit they have there and that we didn't get back to the stratosphere to do the big shot (but i'd done that last year). as far as i was concerned, i wanted to make sure 1) everyone had fun, 2) we got to the hard rock hotel and 3) we stopped at harrah's to see the bartenders there (who are famous for "cocktail"-like displays of acrobatic skill). all three goals were met, so i was happy. bonuses: 1) the double bed room we had booked at bally's for the first night turned out to be a bit different than expected. instead of two beds, we wound up with a two-room suite - seven couches and two tvs in the living room (one television was over the BAR - yes, there was a photograph taken of yours truly wearing a cowboy hat sprawled coquettishly on top of said bar, fear not) and one bed in the bedroom. all in all, we wound up with two bathrooms (huge bathtub and bidet in one - hahaha), two rooms, tons of space ... i had no problem curling up that night on one of the couches and drifting off to sleep with a view of the eiffel tower from the paris resort out my window ... 2) i found a fabulous new drink. frozen green lizard. basically similar to a frozen margarita with midori. bueno! 3) freemont street was as fabulous as i remembered. 4) lunch at the cheesecake factory one of the days we were there (haha) - i didn't realize they had one at caesar's palace!
all in all, good times. i stuck to the slot machines and broke about even - didn't gamble too much, but i did manage to score a free cocktail, which i'd always wanted to do, so that was fun. if anything, i actually might have finished a few dollars up, so that's always great.
anyway, sunday was spent crossing back across the country to the right coast of the country, at which point the vermont portion of the vickie sanity break tour began full force. as my mother puts it, i'm "going to learn how to relax and take it easy" if it kills me. which it very well might, i tell you! relaxation is a foreign concept for me - i've already felt bits of stircraziness while everyone else is at work. so i'm writing a great deal (could the great american novel begin to emerge? perhaps ...) and taking care of some other things while i focus on getting stronger and all that.
i'm still adjusting to the whole time zone thing, though, and i realize it's 11:30 and i'm exhausted, which might explain part of the incoherency of this post. but i wanted to drop a line and announce that i am still among the land of the living - paul, expect email and/or a phone call tomorrow!!! :-)
alright, my bed is calling me. ah ...
6.13.2003
friday the thirteenth has always been a lucky day for me, and this particular friday the thirteenth finds me in a particularly unique situation. it's my last day of formal work for a bit. i'm sending out an email to everyone at some point today to let them know and all, but i'm not exactly sure of at what point during the day i'm going to send out said email. i am also taking a tour of the white house today, as it is congressional tour coordinator appreciation day at el presidente's place - so i'm dressed to the nines and feeling uber-professional as i sit here and type. i'm looking forward to the weekend, as there are plans to hit up adams morgan this evening and potentially tomorrow evening as well. i had an enjoyable last-front-page-happy-hour-for-a-bit last night with chloe and serena - fortunately, as i was ready to go crazy after my day at work yesterday. oy.
so much to do today at work, then so much to do before tuesday - it still hasn't hit me. i suppose i should work on that, eh?
but for now, the friday five ...
1. what's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
while i've wanted to go to london for the past few years, for as long as i can remember, i've wanted to travel to l.a. i want to be able to stand in the southern california sunshine and gaze over palm trees and imagine hollywood as it was in the 50s. and i want to see the pacific ocean and know that i have traveled as far west as i possibly can - that the only thing ahead of me is water.
2. when someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
ok, i'll admit it, no. i won't blatantly lie about it and say i love it if i hate it, but i'll definitely soften my criticism because i don't want to hurt the person's feelings. but with some people, i'll be blatantly honest.
3. have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? what happened?
of course - who hasn't? there have been tons of examples of this - the most common is finding out that a friend said something about me behind my back or whatnot. i think the worst is when i've discovered that a friend said he or she thought something about me or thought i was capable of something that indicated that the person really doesn't have an understanding of who i am or what i'm about at all - that's always really hurtful.
4. if you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
hmm ... this is a good question. i think ... rivendell from lord of the rings. i recall being amazed by the beauty described in the book and then the depiction of it in the movies blew me away.
5. what's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
THE ABILITY TO WRITE DIALOGUE!!!! but i'm working on it. ;-)
so much to do today at work, then so much to do before tuesday - it still hasn't hit me. i suppose i should work on that, eh?
but for now, the friday five ...
1. what's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
while i've wanted to go to london for the past few years, for as long as i can remember, i've wanted to travel to l.a. i want to be able to stand in the southern california sunshine and gaze over palm trees and imagine hollywood as it was in the 50s. and i want to see the pacific ocean and know that i have traveled as far west as i possibly can - that the only thing ahead of me is water.
2. when someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
ok, i'll admit it, no. i won't blatantly lie about it and say i love it if i hate it, but i'll definitely soften my criticism because i don't want to hurt the person's feelings. but with some people, i'll be blatantly honest.
3. have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? what happened?
of course - who hasn't? there have been tons of examples of this - the most common is finding out that a friend said something about me behind my back or whatnot. i think the worst is when i've discovered that a friend said he or she thought something about me or thought i was capable of something that indicated that the person really doesn't have an understanding of who i am or what i'm about at all - that's always really hurtful.
4. if you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
hmm ... this is a good question. i think ... rivendell from lord of the rings. i recall being amazed by the beauty described in the book and then the depiction of it in the movies blew me away.
5. what's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
THE ABILITY TO WRITE DIALOGUE!!!! but i'm working on it. ;-)
6.12.2003
anyone passionate about journalism has to take at least a moment to pause today and pay her respects.
6.10.2003
i think it says a great deal about our culture when you log onto e! online one morning and find that the news of "survivor"'s jenna posing for playboy is posted higher than the fact that an actor featured on "jag" died of a drug overdose believed to be suicide.
ok, so i'm back in d.c. after a weekend in vermont - good times were had by all. if the weekend is any indication of the way the v.s.b.t. is going to be, i'm going to be back in kickarse condition in no time. the positivity and determination (at a higher practical level, i should clarify - the determination has been there for awhile now) continued through yesterday and i'm feeling focused and optimistic today. it's all about taking on each day as it comes.
a week from today, i'll be heading out to vegas - it has not hit me whatsoever, to be honest. there's so much at the moment that just seems so random - the upcoming weeks, my current state, how things are going - that being in sin city, the land of distorted reality, is going to be an incredibly interesting experience. i'm looking forward to it, though. it's a great place to focus on my on-going process of reclaiming my sense of self - one of the biggest things i've been lacking is my willingness and desire to be a jackarse and silly. why should i have any reservations about being silly in las vegas?!?!? i'm already demonstrating an eagerness and will to be a goofball. my aunt's big thing whenever she goes to vegas is that she makes absolutely sure anyone who's there as well has a hat available when we're out in the sun. you know, the whole sunstroke thing. so i'm going all out - who's rocking the straw cowboy hat? it's me ... it's me ... so unlike the girl who's been hanging out down here, but shades of the "aw hell, have fun with it!" vickie of the "i love rock & roll" shirts and whatnot ...
it's just time to be happy, dammit. the thing is, though, i admit there are things i'm going to miss while i'm away from dc - hanging out with chlo, spending time with my saving grace down here (i'm going to miss you, paul!!! we must hang out before i leave), chipotle (haha), adams morgan ... haha. but i need to do this to be able to be back on my game, and this will make me happier. so bring it on, i say! just have to get through this week of work, enjoy the weekend, and i'm leavin on a jet plane tuesday ...
ok, so i'm back in d.c. after a weekend in vermont - good times were had by all. if the weekend is any indication of the way the v.s.b.t. is going to be, i'm going to be back in kickarse condition in no time. the positivity and determination (at a higher practical level, i should clarify - the determination has been there for awhile now) continued through yesterday and i'm feeling focused and optimistic today. it's all about taking on each day as it comes.
a week from today, i'll be heading out to vegas - it has not hit me whatsoever, to be honest. there's so much at the moment that just seems so random - the upcoming weeks, my current state, how things are going - that being in sin city, the land of distorted reality, is going to be an incredibly interesting experience. i'm looking forward to it, though. it's a great place to focus on my on-going process of reclaiming my sense of self - one of the biggest things i've been lacking is my willingness and desire to be a jackarse and silly. why should i have any reservations about being silly in las vegas?!?!? i'm already demonstrating an eagerness and will to be a goofball. my aunt's big thing whenever she goes to vegas is that she makes absolutely sure anyone who's there as well has a hat available when we're out in the sun. you know, the whole sunstroke thing. so i'm going all out - who's rocking the straw cowboy hat? it's me ... it's me ... so unlike the girl who's been hanging out down here, but shades of the "aw hell, have fun with it!" vickie of the "i love rock & roll" shirts and whatnot ...
it's just time to be happy, dammit. the thing is, though, i admit there are things i'm going to miss while i'm away from dc - hanging out with chlo, spending time with my saving grace down here (i'm going to miss you, paul!!! we must hang out before i leave), chipotle (haha), adams morgan ... haha. but i need to do this to be able to be back on my game, and this will make me happier. so bring it on, i say! just have to get through this week of work, enjoy the weekend, and i'm leavin on a jet plane tuesday ...
6.04.2003
you know, there are times when i think it's got to be me - that there's something about me, victoria, that doesn't quite jive with the joint and everyone else has made an effort. it must be, right?
but then something will happen, something will be said, when i realize that really, perhaps it is the case that things have, for whatever reason, not been examples of my stellar social skills, but it is a two-way street. for example, someone who shall remain nameless (but can be identified by my collegiate classmates as the person of note also attended our institute of higher education) walking through, introducing someone to members of the office, pointing out that the three staffers present were all graduates of the same journalism program and making particular note of the fact that one was editor of the online publication and completely failing to mention that i was editor of the print publication. the same person walking with me and two other staffers a couple of days ago and asking me what my plans were for the fourth of july and, after i replied that i wasn't sure, making sure to specifically invite the other two staffers to his hometown for fourth festivities (saying, "well, you know the two of you are more than welcome to ..."). another staffer stopping by to say hello and chatting it up with everyone else while giving me a "hey there," before continuing the chatting it up with everyone else. and similar examples of the general sense of enjoyment people have when i walk into a room.
know what? that's ok. really. because there are a lot of things that i don't have in common with everyone else, i realize more and more. and i haven't had a chance to really show them who i am because i did spend a lot of time trying to convince them - and myself - that i did have those things in common with them and belonged where i was. but know what? the basic, underlying fact is that they want to be a part of this group, part of this population working on the hill and serving as professional political employees. whereas i am becoming more and more aware of the fact that that is nothing remotely resembling what i want to do with my time and do not enjoy it anymore. and i don't want to play the little political social games and discuss the silly little political issues and focus on the little political goals. i want to focus on making myself happy and do what makes me happy - which is not in the political realm.
i have done a damn good job doing what i was hired to do. i have expanded and assisted in other things as well, doing a good job with those things too. i've shown that i am capable of handling anything thrown my way.
i just don't want to continue to do it. which is why i'm looking at options so i don't do it anymore. and that way there can be someone here who wants to be, who will jive with the rest of the joint and i will be free to do what i want to do with people like me who want the same things i do and who i can feel like myself around, therefore enriching their lives and mine.
not to mention that i'll be physically and emotionally stronger by then so i'm prepared to give them what i have to give and what i deserve to give.
whoo hoo!
anyway, that's my little tirade for the morning. the weather continues to be dreary and london-esque - bah. vermont will be a welcome change when i travel there this weekend to celebrate my mother's birthday. not to mention the V.S.B.T. - almost there!!! i have an appointment this afternoon that i am both looking forward to and dreading at the same time ... but it's another in a series of steps that i've got to take. that i want to take while wanting to hold back at the same time. i'm such a contradiction in terms, but i just have to fight through it.
quote of the day: "another odd feather of the parallel universe is that although it is invisible from this side, once you are in it you can easily see the world you came from. sometimes the world you came from looks huge and menacing, quivering like a vast pile of jelly; at other times it is miniaturized and alluring, a-spin and shining in its orbit. either way, it can't be discounted."
i'm on my way.
but then something will happen, something will be said, when i realize that really, perhaps it is the case that things have, for whatever reason, not been examples of my stellar social skills, but it is a two-way street. for example, someone who shall remain nameless (but can be identified by my collegiate classmates as the person of note also attended our institute of higher education) walking through, introducing someone to members of the office, pointing out that the three staffers present were all graduates of the same journalism program and making particular note of the fact that one was editor of the online publication and completely failing to mention that i was editor of the print publication. the same person walking with me and two other staffers a couple of days ago and asking me what my plans were for the fourth of july and, after i replied that i wasn't sure, making sure to specifically invite the other two staffers to his hometown for fourth festivities (saying, "well, you know the two of you are more than welcome to ..."). another staffer stopping by to say hello and chatting it up with everyone else while giving me a "hey there," before continuing the chatting it up with everyone else. and similar examples of the general sense of enjoyment people have when i walk into a room.
know what? that's ok. really. because there are a lot of things that i don't have in common with everyone else, i realize more and more. and i haven't had a chance to really show them who i am because i did spend a lot of time trying to convince them - and myself - that i did have those things in common with them and belonged where i was. but know what? the basic, underlying fact is that they want to be a part of this group, part of this population working on the hill and serving as professional political employees. whereas i am becoming more and more aware of the fact that that is nothing remotely resembling what i want to do with my time and do not enjoy it anymore. and i don't want to play the little political social games and discuss the silly little political issues and focus on the little political goals. i want to focus on making myself happy and do what makes me happy - which is not in the political realm.
i have done a damn good job doing what i was hired to do. i have expanded and assisted in other things as well, doing a good job with those things too. i've shown that i am capable of handling anything thrown my way.
i just don't want to continue to do it. which is why i'm looking at options so i don't do it anymore. and that way there can be someone here who wants to be, who will jive with the rest of the joint and i will be free to do what i want to do with people like me who want the same things i do and who i can feel like myself around, therefore enriching their lives and mine.
not to mention that i'll be physically and emotionally stronger by then so i'm prepared to give them what i have to give and what i deserve to give.
whoo hoo!
anyway, that's my little tirade for the morning. the weather continues to be dreary and london-esque - bah. vermont will be a welcome change when i travel there this weekend to celebrate my mother's birthday. not to mention the V.S.B.T. - almost there!!! i have an appointment this afternoon that i am both looking forward to and dreading at the same time ... but it's another in a series of steps that i've got to take. that i want to take while wanting to hold back at the same time. i'm such a contradiction in terms, but i just have to fight through it.
quote of the day: "another odd feather of the parallel universe is that although it is invisible from this side, once you are in it you can easily see the world you came from. sometimes the world you came from looks huge and menacing, quivering like a vast pile of jelly; at other times it is miniaturized and alluring, a-spin and shining in its orbit. either way, it can't be discounted."
i'm on my way.
6.03.2003
SCORPIO: tuesday, june 3 - where do we go from here? and other tales. saturn, the supreme taskmaster, is arriving in the most adventurous sector of your solar chart for a prolonged stay. this visitation will, over time, encourage you to do the necessary to shake off the shackles, expand your range and broaden your horizons - even if it entails getting out of dodge.
"i've never met a person, i don't care what his condition, in whom i could not see possibilities. i don't care how much a man may consider himself a failure, i believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life any time he is ready and prepared to do it. whenever he develops the desire, he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. the capacity for reformation and change lies within." -- preston bradley
"to know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice." -- confucius
"we all live in suspense from day to day; in other words, you are the hero of your own story." - mary mccarthy
"only i can change my life. no one can do it for me." - carol burnett
"each person's only hope for improving his lot rests on recognizing the true nature of his or her basic personality, surrendering to it, and becoming who he or she really is." - sheldon kopp
"if you have a skeleton in your closet, take it out and dance with it." - carolyn mackenzie
"when you are looking in the mirror, you are looking at the problem. but, remember, you are also looking at the solution." - anonymous
"i'd rather be a failure at something i enjoy than a success at something i hate." - george burns
"we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are." - max depree
"my life has a superb cast but i can't figure out the plot." - ashleigh brilliant
can you tell i'm trying to psych myself up? ;-)
"i've never met a person, i don't care what his condition, in whom i could not see possibilities. i don't care how much a man may consider himself a failure, i believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life any time he is ready and prepared to do it. whenever he develops the desire, he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. the capacity for reformation and change lies within." -- preston bradley
"to know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice." -- confucius
"we all live in suspense from day to day; in other words, you are the hero of your own story." - mary mccarthy
"only i can change my life. no one can do it for me." - carol burnett
"each person's only hope for improving his lot rests on recognizing the true nature of his or her basic personality, surrendering to it, and becoming who he or she really is." - sheldon kopp
"if you have a skeleton in your closet, take it out and dance with it." - carolyn mackenzie
"when you are looking in the mirror, you are looking at the problem. but, remember, you are also looking at the solution." - anonymous
"i'd rather be a failure at something i enjoy than a success at something i hate." - george burns
"we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are." - max depree
"my life has a superb cast but i can't figure out the plot." - ashleigh brilliant
can you tell i'm trying to psych myself up? ;-)
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