5.07.2003

whew!

i am taking a quick sanity break to force myself to take a breather - i don't know what it is about today, but i feel like i'm a mouse (or a hamster - those are cuter) on one of those fun wheels - i'm running running running but not getting anywhere! but at least it's making the day go by quickly, so in that respect, it's a blessing ...

tour this morning, followed by the launch of a project - i'm working on revamping the senator's tour page with updated information - hell, forget updated, i'm focusing on actually providing information, rather than the links to the various tour destinations' websites. it'll be a big help, i think - it'll make it a lot easier for constituents to have one site where all of the information is right there - plus it might save me the "hi, ok, i wanted to know what you offer for tour possibilities" calls where i have to run through the whole spiel.

so now i'm being good and settling in for the long haul of research and revising this afternoon - i want to have this whole thing done by the end of the week. add to that a trip over to the capitol to give myself a minibreak, stretch the legs and see if any flags are back yet and the various and sundry other things that pop up and my day is pretty much set. it's rather bizarre - for the past few days i have felt as if something is about to happen, something big, in my life and i'm just waiting for it to happen - rather like i'm hanging out by a cliff waiting for a breeze to push me over the edge and i'll be able to see if the ledge i'm thinking is there actually, well, is. it's an odd feeling, more than a little scary, but also exhilerating. i've been in the process of checking out job postings and whatnot to figure out what i want to do in the near and not-so-near future, and i think that's what's primarily contributing to it, to be honest. i don't know if i have any intentions of leaving the office soon - i suppose what comes from these job searches will play a major factor, obviously. i'm applying for things within the office as well as outside of it, but it's bizarre - i thought a year (or a chunk of a year) would help show me where i want (or don't want) to be, but i'm still in the same, "um...i dunno..." state i was in a year ago. everything is so open, in a lot of respects, while closed at the same time, and i'm sitting here trying to figure out what i want to do with it all. what if i try something new and i find out that i'm in an environment less positive than the one i'm in now? what if i stick with my job/situation here and i don't feel the exhileration i've been craving? what if i apply for 45 jobs and all 45 say, "hi, you suck, get out of here"? where do i want to be and what do i want to do? and, most importantly, why is it that i have absolutely no idea whatsoever?!?!?!?!

it's spring - it's been branded into my being that with spring comes change of some sort. so now that spring is wrapped around me, it's squeezing me to figure things out when the truth is that i really don't NEED to figure anything out. but i feel like i want to - which in some respects is just as important, if not more so. but is my overachieving (or, at least, overexpecting) personality demanding more than life is supposed to give? i think that's where most of my frustration generally stems from - i expect things to be Huge, Multicolored, Moulin-Rouge-like affairs and am upset when they're more realistic. how can it be that i am never satisfied by reality? and should i train myself to not be? i mean, really, the people i admire the most are those who refused to accept reality, instead shaping what they're given and demanding more more more until they get the reality they dream of - but how does that happen?

haha, deep thoughts by victoria.

did i mention that i'm journaling again? yes, the creative juices are flowing, as if you can't tell - at least that's an improvement for me, right?

ok, back to the role of tour (slave) girl.

5.03.2003

so just when i'm convinced that things are a certain way, life - as always - throws a curveball my way.

i've been emotionally drained for the past week, week and a half - really frustrated and feeling a little on the empty side at the same time. it's been an odd, paradoxical state to be in - while i feel like there are so many emotions, fears, hopes and what have you bottled up inside me so much that i feel as if it's going to burst out at any second, i have had no means or no desire to get them out of my system. it's like i want to explode but completely lack the energy or enthusiasm to do so.

the whole zen/lucas-from-"empire records"-like existance has persisted throughout the week, leaving me feeling as if i'm in some introspective rut the size of a grand canyon. i've been walking around, examining things and looking for Deeper Meaning so much that i've been completely incapable of focusing on the little things about life that make it good. in addition, it's made some of the smaller things that come with day-to-day interaction with people seem like huge things - signs about the general status of my life and whatnot (if that makes any sense). in a lot of respects, it's just been that i've been incapable of just letting things roll off my back. granted, i've never been particularly good at that (damn my angela chase-like introspection!), but it's like i somehow stepped it up to the next level. so i've been left feeling especially sensitive and vulnerable and questioning so much about Everything. you name it, i've been questioning it - both good and bad.

on thursday night, a bit of the tension bottled up inside broke through, through a couple of phone conversations and, while i felt a little better, i woke up friday morning feeling blue and resigned to feeling frustration and tension. not exactly the best mentality to have starting off a day, but i rationalized that it was better than trying to force optimism when it just wasn't going to be there.

i kept my game face on, however - i wasn't going to let everyone at work see that i wasn't in the greatest of moods - it wouldn't be professional of me. so i just tried to keep myself optimistic and whatnot until the workday ended and the curveball was thrown my way.

the first office happy hour in a couple of weeks - originally the plan was to head down to tortilla coast (on the house side by the cap. south metro), which i was psyched about because i'd never been there (i'm always down with checking out a new place). while ted, chris, janice and i were heading down, janice said that she had heard from the rest of the gang (the office technically closed at 4:30, but i had to cover phones til 5 and the others were finishing up work, so we were meeting the rest down there) that they had moved down two doors to bullfeathers so everyone could sit outside and enjoy the gorgeous warm weather. so we headed there and met up with everyone and enjoyed the really good drink specials ($2 rail drinks during happy hour? this brings me great joy - even if the service was atrocious - what waiter tells patrons that if they want to know what the drink specials are, they should go inside and check out the board? not to mention that you should never list schmirnoff ice as a happy hour special if you're out of schmirnoff ice.) and being out of work for the week. i had fully intended to stick around for a couple of rounds and then probably head home and take it easy, as i had planned on Going Out tonight when we head into adams morgan, but the conversations were amusing and we were all having fun, so i stuck around and was talking with beth, chris' girlfriend, who met up with us there.

one thing led to another and chris, beth and ted were going to head to cap lounge to get dinner, as beth's old roommate from college was a waitress there and beth said to me, "you're coming, right?" feeling really good about that, how could i say no? so the four of us settled up at bullfeathers, told everyone where we were going and that they should come along and then headed over to cap lounge, where we decided to split a pizza and whatnot. the food was good, the drinks were great and everyone else showed up, so we were all crowded around a big round table, laughing, drinking and whatnot - and it just felt good. i felt good about being there, i felt included, i just felt like things weren't as dreary as they had seemed before.

i guess i just needed an evening like last night. i stuck around until a little after nine and then headed home to crash and relax, exchanging numbers with beth with tentative plans to meet up in adams morgan with her and chris when i head in tonight.

i don't know - i guess when it all boils down to it, if i had to describe what i've been feeling as of late, it's just that i've been feeling as if everything is in a whole whirlwind around me and i've been trying to settle down one thing - anything! it's left me feeling very isolated and i've wanted to feel someone reach out and make me feel as if i'm ok, i'm fun, i'm someone that they want to be around so i feel as if dealing with everything i'm dealing with has some sort of purpose (if that makes sense). and having such an enjoyable evening last night made me feel as if i'm not totally lost out there and things can be good and fun.

i don't know - i haven't been making a whole lot of sense lately, not even in my own head - which contributes to why i haven't been all about posting lately. how is one supposed to be capable of describing things in a lucid manner to others when one is incapable of making sense to one's own self? but it all boils down to the fact that i'm aware yet again of how i can overdramatize things and i am determined to just enjoy things more and not necessarily look for the Deeper Meaning - i've just got to enjoy being 22, being where i am and having the opportunity to do whatever it is that i want to do. another goal to add to my ever-lengthening list of goals ... but hey, we know that i'm a girl who likes to have goals. ;-)

5.02.2003

ok, a post of substance is to follow later in the day, but for now ... i know it's hard to believe, but the friday five on friday!

1. name one song you hate to admit you like.
hmm ... there are a few of them ... i think i'll go with, since i heard it from a passing car while i was walking home from the store yesterday evening, "back your ass up." so many memories associated with that song (asuka!!!), plus i was rocking out to it, i admit.

2. name two songs that always make you cry.
there's a country song that came out way back in the day called "a dozen red roses" that i cannot hear without crying. this is made even worse when i would hear it in the car with my father (it deals with a young woman's wedding day and her father, who had died years before but had arranged to have a dozen red roses delivered to the woman on her wedding day - it's gorgeous). then there is "baby got back", which always makes me emotional, not necessarily to the point of tears, but it's an emotional song for me (i smile at the same time whenever i think of it - i know it's surprising as hell to those who don't know why, but trust me, there's an emotional link there). honorable mentions go to john mayer's "not myself" and tori's "gold dust".

3. name three songs that turn you on.
hmm ... van morrison's "moondance", just about any jeff buckley song and the doors' "who do you love".

4. name four songs that always make you feel good.
just about any jason mraz song (early in the mornings when i'm on my way to work and need a kick start, "the remedy" works particularly well), justin timberlake's "rock your body", howie's "after you" (the 6-18-00 live version) and dave matthews band "warehouse".

5. name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
you know i could never just name five.

4.28.2003

ok, i was set to do this on saturday and would have, therefore, only been off by one day, but blogger was proving uncooperative, thus i had to hold off until today. that said, here is the friday five on monday, followed by an actual post of substance, shockingly enough (and yes, i use the term "substance" loosely):

1. what was the last tv show you watched?
the today show this morning (i'm not even going to try to answer this like i would on friday - go with it).

2. what was the last thing you complained about?
lack of tours today. yes, i'm just as scared as you are that that complaint left my mouth. but i actually preferred having tours to look forward to - the people were always cool, it got me out of the office for awhile and it made the day go by faster. i'm bored today.

3. who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
emily - i commented on how i really liked the shirt she's wearing today - it's this very cool cranberry color and i'm a big fan of it. then we discussed our mutual appreciation for the various shades of pink and i discussed how i have finally embraced my appreciation for the color (although i tend to go for more rose-based hues, darker than cotton candy pink). yes, it was a very indepth philosophical discussion. did i mention i'm bored today?

4. what was the last thing you threw away?
gum wrapper.

5. what was the last website (besides this one) you visited?
yahoo mail to check my email.

and now for the post of substance.

good weekend all in all, gave myself the opportunity to relax and, on sunday, enjoy the absolutely gorgeous sunshiney weather (it continues to be glorious today, although a little breezy, which wouldn't be a problem in the least if i wasn't wearing a long wrap skirt, if you know what i mean). georgetown barhopping was the name of the game friday evening, where i finally found a cute guy (with an accent, no less) to flirt with and chat with a bit - of course it's my luck that the accent (new zealand) should have been an indication that said guy might be a tourist and, oh yeah, leaving the area the next day ... but nonetheless. i'm not a fan of gearing up to going out on friday nights - happy hours are great because you just leave the office and go, but for really "going out" one needs time to be able to relax. therefore, register my vote for taking it easy friday evenings and going out on saturdays.

but it was still a very fun time - new area of nightlife to check out and whatnot. there are some very chill places in georgetown to carouse (sp?) in, although i overall prefer adams morgan to gt. more life there, i suppose - more options, more people, etc.

saturday and sunday were spent doing whatever. not much to report, but my body appreciated the chance to relax and recharge the batteries as much as possible. my fascinating saturday night? chipotle, a couple of phone calls and the second harry potter movie. fun times indeed. yet i was perfectly content with it. :-)

so i think i figured out why i have been going into some rather odd philosophical tangents as of late - and i suppose i can consider this a showcase of some of my best and worst traits. first, the backstory: lately i've been thinking about why we do the things we do. professionally (why we have a certain job), personally (examining the claim that the meaning of life is the relationships we form with others) and basic human necessity (what brings happiness? what brings sorrow? what is the difference between the two?). and i've been thinking about these pretty indepth whenever the thoughts pop into my head. it makes me want to ask people why they do the things they do. why do people walk around the neighborhood where i live during the weekends - wandering from store to store looking for clothes, food, music, etc. what fuels people to go out weekend after weekend, looking for people to meet and experiences to be had? let's say someone is doing everything he or she is supposed to be doing - going to work every day, working 40 hours a week, bringing home a paycheck, etc. - what is the deeper reasoning behind these actions? why, really, are they doing it? what is the infinite payoff? if you had to break it all down to a basic, fundamental explanation, what would that explanation be?

during the end of my lunchbreak today, as i was attempting to psych out the huge yellowjacket that was lurking menacingly around the area i was soaking up sunshine in, it hit me just why these thoughts have been popping into my head. for as long as i can remember, really all of my life, i've been doing things in anticipation of the next thing. you go through elementary school each year with the promise of another year, something new, approaching late the following august. then you get into junior high and it's all about reaching the next grade and becoming that much older, that much cooler - all the while the thought of COLLEGE looming ahead (this brings, depending on the age and whether or not you're waiting to hear if you were accepted or not, both excitement and dread.). college hits and it's great because you have four years to study exactly what it is that you want to study, molding and shaping yourself into What You Are Going To Be When You Grow Up. so you're anticipating your first steps into the real world and the rest of your life.

and then there's after college. you've got your job, you've got your place to live (whether it be an apartment, a house, your family home, etc.) and you can just focus on the status quo - doing what you're doing, what all of the work before got you to. you don't have to worry about not being able to make it - you've made it. you just have to focus on your job, your relationships and whatnot. that's really just about it - enjoy yourself and be happy.

but i've always thrived on focusing on The Next Thing. it's always pushed me, fueled me, driven me forward. so to have to suddenly put the brakes on and accept the fact that i should be enjoying the status quo doesn't work for me. i still want to know what's next. i still want to figure out what's around the corner. i want to get to wherever it is i'm supposed to be going so i can reach that checkpoint and move on to the next one. i don't do stationary. i move, pulse, gogogo.

basically i feel as if i'm supposed to reverse 22 years worth of thought process. and i don't want to.

does anyone else ever feel this way or is this just yet another example of how i can be truly batty sometimes?



4.18.2003

the friday five - on friday, no less! i think this is, what, the second time it's actually worked out this way? nevertheless ...

1. who is your favorite celebrity?
favorite? hmm ... this is tricky. i mean, there are so many different kinds of celebrities - music, film, tv, basic pop culture people (honestly, what of merit has paris hilton ever done? partied - that's about it.). and then you have to think about what you mean by "favorite" - the one you'd most like to hook up with (hello, orlando bloom)? the one you most admire (i've got a lot of respect for nicole kidman right about now)? the one you love to hear about because they always crack you up (anything involving j. lo is just too cheesy to not laugh at)?

i think, all things considered, i'm going to go with three people, three that i would love to sit down and have a conversation with. and those three are, in no particular order: robin williams, billy crystal and bono.

2. who is your least favorite?
anyone who hasn't done anything substantial to gain their fame. and yes, substantial in my eyes. so anyone like anna nicole smith, paris hilton, kato kaelin - someone who just clings to their fame and don't bother accomplishing anything. more of the infamous type of celebrity.

3. have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?
it all depends on who you call a "celebrity" - a bunch of theatre types (the original mimi from rent, who was nominated for a tony; christine baranski; miguel from "passions" - haha; various musicians; senators; this year's miss universe; mr. valenty of the mpaa; john walsh; sydney pollack; sarah jessica parker; and some others that i can't think of right now, i suppose.

4. would you want to be famous? why or why not?
yes. so i can attend the functions i've always dreamt of attending (golden globes, sags, academy awards, grammys), so i can see things from that point of view, for material for my novel, for the opportunity to let others know of my thoughts, opinions and dreams and to be able to meet the people i've always followed from my non-famous perspective. i'm sure i'd get tired of it, but i'd rather be able to say that i'm tired of it than never have experienced it in the first place. oh, and also to meet orlando bloom so he can marry me and become one of my multiple future husbands. ;-)

6. if you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?
besides the obvious of the girl from "blue crush" who is supposedly dating my orlando (this switch would be for obvious reasons, eh?), i think ... ok, this is going to sound so cheesy. and she's not even regarded as a celebrity by most people - in fact, most probably don't even know who she is. but ms. winer of "newsday" - new york theatre's only female first-string theatre critic. i worked with linda last summer at the o'neill and i think she is amazing. i'd love to be her for at least a day to expereince what she experiences as a theatre critic and so i could have her incredible writing ability for just a few hours.

ok, i'm back in vt - ready to run out the door. this week has flown by - nothing but tours tours tours. but until i can properly blog about the rest of the becca adventure and the rest of my week, i'll say thank you to becca for gracing me with her presence in dc and i'm so happy to have been able to show you life a little outside of the box! lots o' love.

and paul - YEAH MRAZ IN DC!!!!!!!!!! i'm there. so incredibly i-cannot-wait-about-damn-time there.


4.13.2003

ok, time for the belated friday five!

1. what was the first band you saw in concert?
technically, the first "concert" i ever saw was sharon, lois and braham on the "elephant show" tour - yeah, skinamarinkedinkedink! but the first official CONCERT was new kids on the block when i was in fourth grade and my father drove me down to virginia so i could go to the concert with my two cousins. yeah joey joey mcintyre!

2. who is your favorite band/artist now?
*hysterical laughter* like i could possibly answer THAT!!! i will go with jason mraz and howie day for this answer.

3. what is your favorite song?
HAHAHAHAHA - ok, there are the all-time favorite songs, there are the now-favorite songs, there are the favorite songs by certain artists ... there's no way i can pick one particular song as "favorite" - it's like showing someone every flavor of jelly belly jelly beans and telling her to pick one particular bean as the best one. so i'll go with the right NOW favorite song - probably "unfold" by jason mraz.

4. if you could play one instrument, what would it be?
GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!

5. if you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
well, besides jason mraz, as he needs to meet me so he can love me already (hehehehe), it would certainly be jim morrison. as if this should surprise anyone ... ;-)
ok, now that i have reclaimed the computer (silly girl beat me over the head with the laptop and knocked me out - forget having to worry about a hangover after adams morgan debauchery when bec's around! hehehe):

- i fully admit that i embraced my touristy side - it was lots of fun! we did go up to random people and get photos of the two of us and whatnot, twas grand fun. and the shot glasses were wonderful! good times, good times ...

- of course becca was feeling it after two drinks - that's what happens when one of those drinks is a long island! ;-)

- i can't believe the guy at the brass monkey ... i leave for a couple of minutes and next thing i know, becca's being accosted by the thickest moron on the planet (thick as in moronic) ... she didn't mention the fact that this guy came over to our table and was talking to all of us for eons, or at least trying to, but just would not realize that there was no one at the table interested in talking to him ... so he finally goes away and i head over to the bar to get another trusty vodka cran, and next thing i know, the moron is BACK! dense moron ... i felt so bad!

- while i will comment more about the weekend, as well as the becca visit in general when i'm at work, i will say all parties involved are having a marvelous (to be read with an accent as "MAH-velous") time and are preparing to hit up arlington and iwo jima (another roommate gem came from her convo with becca this morning, when becca told her that we were going to arlington: r: "what are you guys up to today?" b: "we're heading out to arlington." r: "oh! i've got a friend in arlington! what are you doing out there?" b: "we're going to the cemetery." r: (pause) "oh, what's fun about that?" b explains what's in arlington. r: "oh ... i'm not really much of a history person.")
Guest Blogger: So I have decided to steal Vickie's computer and make my own entry. Let's see- the weekend started off with Vic meeting me at the airport. She went to a different gate then the one I got off so we didn't catch up for a little while (darn those people at Southwest). It was the first time I have been on the subway. Good times. the best when was my card kept getting denied so I went up to the guy and ask him what I was doing wrong. At this point Vic has already gone through the gate and can't get back. The guy was a dork and wasn't very helpful. He was like where are you going and I was like I have no idea. So from that point on I have been going through the gates before my dear tour guide Vickie.
On Sat. we went and toured the Mall. It was fantastic. We met a lot of people and took lots of pics. The guy with his dog and daughter and the family from Michigan were two favorites. We were in all ways tourists. Sorry Vickie-but you too were one of us. :) We went shopping for fun little things to bring back to the family. Vic suggested a shot glass for my mom. if you know her you would understand how funny that idea is. This woman next to us laughed. We offered her one of the shot glasses (they were really cute, vic-we may need to go back there) and she said 'What you want me to but this shot glass for you....well you are too young to have a shot glass'. I was like not really- I am 23 (ok-I am still 22 for 4 more days but it sounded better). She said that was a compliment...SURE........
So we went to Chipole- it was all that Vic said it was...After dinner we got ready to go out on our night of fun. I finally met the man of my dreams. It was surreal b/c I have had dreams about him so it was like I already knew him. He was very nice and was everything I hoped. It is wonderful to know that Vic has a friend that she can count on down here.
So we go to the bar and by VT standards it is really crowded. We were lucky to get a table. I only had two drinks but I was feeling it. I haven't party since the college expereince. I have no tolerance (boy do I miss college?). So there was this stetchy guy at the bar that kept hitting on everyone...He kept coming over. I wouldn't even look at him..so Vic and Paul had gone to the bar and they were talking. He came back over and sat next to me. He was rubbing my back and saying some of the sickest things I have ever heard....If you know me you know how traumatizing this expereince would be. He wanted to know all the positions I like and other really personal stuff. At this time everyone at the table isn't there and I just want to hide under the table (although he would have thought it was an invitation to f*** under the table). So I tell him that Paul is my "friend" and he wanted to know if all that we do is f***. Finally his friednd's come and make him leave before his parting words "Well at least you'll have a story to tell". That was the only thing he was right about the whole evening. So I can Lucas for words of wisdom. We left the bar and got pizza and headed home after a long day that I will not forget we crashed. We are off again to tour some more....I will try to blog again beforeI head home. Thanks Vic for letting me be a guest blogger....DC look out...here we come.........:):)
ok, i love my new roommate dearly. she is very sweet and very kind and fun to talk to and hang out with. so she's totally cool. that SAID ... a conversation yesterday afternoon ("r" stands for roommate, "v" obviously stands for me):

r: "hi guys! how are you?"
v: "great, but wow, we're tired!"
r: "what did you do today?"
v: "we walked the mall. like the WHOLE mall!"
r: "oh wow! what mall? tyson's corner?"
v: (slightly confused pause, then reality dawns) "oh, no, i meant the NATIONAL mall."
r: "the national mall? where's that?"
v: "um ... it's right downtown. it's where all the monuments are and where the smithsonians are ..."
r: "oh, ok! that's cool!"

um ... yeah. :-)

4.10.2003

my apologies for all-around sucking in the communications department this week - i feel like i haven't had an opportunity to be in touch with anyone as of late, for which i am extremely sorry.

it's strange - the past week has just been a blur. at this time last week, i was preparing for the family visit, which then kept me busy busy busy during the weekend and whatnot. on sunday i learned that my partner in crime here in the front office had been diagnosed with mono, so this week has been a series of open to close shifts for me. fortunately, a former intern is filling in as a temp, so i'm not doing all the work by myself, but there was also the process of showing him the staff assistant ropes, so it made for busy days, to say the least, plus some tours and a few various other random tasks, so i've been bustling about and trying to get everything taken care of. today is my first day resuming a normal schedule, so i'm looking forward to getting out at 5 and being able to get home and relax a bit in the evening. the way things had been going, it felt as if my routine was: wake up, get ready for work, eat breakfast, go to work. go through morning, go to lunch, go through afternoon, get home. by the time i get home and use up some energy exercising (or, as the case may be, use up some energy deciding not to exercise) and eat dinner, it's time to talk on the phone for maybe an hour and then get to bed early because i have to be up early the next day. not to mention that i've given tours of the capitol every day this week, which adds to the weird feel of things - giving a couple of tours a week is typical, five in five days is certainly not - and i'm just waiting for the weekend to arrive!

so it's not that things aren't going well, it's not that i'm being antisocial or anything, but i'm in this tight little coil of a tight schedule and the need for sleep (an added annoyance - i haven't been sleeping well for the past week and a half or so, grrr ...) and will be making a very big effort to restablish some ties and let everyone know that i haven't fallen off the face of the planet (bethy - expect a phone call tonight if you're around!). in the meantime, know that knowing you're all out there and sending me love is helping me get through the crazy rush - i'm thinking of you and you're helping me through the insanity, even if you don't realize it!

4.08.2003

ok, i finally found my dream job. this is the job posting that will finally lure me away from jenkin's hill:

Reporters wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter Cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success. Write to ...

yes, i am being sarcastic. but the ad is genuine, i promise you.

how smc are you? i wound up with 85% - haha!

ok, will post during the workday. thank you, becca, for the link!

4.07.2003

of course the friday five wouldn't be answered on friday - that would be too logical for moi!

1. how many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
hmm...ok, let's think about this. there's the house in massachusetts i started out in, then we moved to the country store in vt, followed by my current homebase home and now my apartment down here. so there's four - then you add the college years: my room with alison starting off college, then moving in with michelle on the same floor second semester of my first year, then 411 for two years (with a summer back in the room i lived in with michelle, but with asuka then, but that's still the same room, so it can't count as an additional room), then the room with becca during the beginning on the second smc summer, then 203 senior year. so that makes nine, if i've done my math correctly.

2. which was your favorite and why?
know the expression "apples and oranges"? this is a whole fruit basket. there's no way i could pick a favorite because each has its own special memories attached.

3. do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? why?
i hate to sound wishy washy, but both. i mean, it's always exciting to have a new location, new surroundings, new possibilities, but there's also the stress of relocating and the fear that balances the anticipation and excitement. so i find moving to be a mixture of the two.

4. what's more important, location or price?
if money was no object, obviously it would be location. however, situations as they generally are, price is often the case. now, in college, it was always location and who you were living with, because there was no difference in price. fortunately, where i am now, i've got a pretty sweet deal in both respects (although one obviously always wishes rent was never something one had to think about, but that goes without saying).

5. what features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
it's constantly changing - the constants? a big window with a windowseat where i can read in the sunshine and look out at the world, a nice kitchen that i'll feel compelled to use (and learn to use), a nice big bathtub i can soak in (with a jacuzzi feature, preferrably), a fireplace. other than that, it changes, depending on where i imagine the house/apartment/etc. being location-wise. but sunlight and warmth are the big key factors.

today has been random, to say the least. the weekend was great - i'll write more tomorrow, when i hopefully have more time - and i'm riding the waves of familial love from the weekend and the sendoff early (very, ridiculously, bloody 6 a.m. early) this morning, which counters the feelings of exhaustion (for whatever reason, i was incapable of sleeping past 7 a.m. this entire weekend - depsite trying and trying!) and the kindly reminders from my legs this afternoon that we walked all over the greater dc area this weekend ... who got her exercise and then some? it's me ... it's me ...

but i can quickly say that the cherry blossoms here truly are one of the most gorgeous things i've ever seen - they lived up to and exceeded the hype. and i can say that i am very much looking forward to the close of business today, at which point i can leave the office, head to dupont, complete a mission i've been meaning to complete, get home, make dinner and CRASH!!!!



4.03.2003

file this under "no shit sherlock ..." (from msnbc.com):

A bullet missed the unit's commander by three inches. At one point, Arnot was forced to dive to retrieve an abandoned Iraqi helmet for his own protection.

Pressed by an MSNBC anchor for reassurance that he was not in danger, Arnot replied, "Frankly, we're not safe. We could get hit by a rocket at any time."
today feels as if it is racing to sunset at warp 5 - work, calls, responsibility flying around me, attempting to push through me, and i am riding the wave until the clock hits 5, i'm allowed to race home, finish cleaning, briefly work out and then welcome my loving family for a weekend of enjoyment.

it's just getting to 5 that will be the challenge! at least i have an hour of fun in the sun to look forward to in a few minutes. ah, lunch hour - you are never more appreciated than when the weather is warm, the sun is shining and i can relax with friends outside!

4.02.2003

i like this survey. others should play this game too.

Five songs that make you happy:
1. dream life of rand mcnally - jason mraz (and any other mraz song).
2. bubbletoes - jack johnson.
3. barrel of a gun - guster.
4. lie in our graves - dmb.
5. flutter - averi.

Five songs that make you cry:
1. lilac wine - jeff buckley.
2. so long - guster
3. not myself - john mayer.
4. gold dust - tori amos.
5. stronger - britney spears (if you don't know, don't ask).

Five songs that remind you of love:
1. lilac wine - jeff buckley.
2. brace yourself - howie day.
3. yellow - coldplay.
4. last goodbye - jeff buckley.
5. tonight (not again) - jason mraz.

Five songs to hook up to:
1. she says - howie day.
2. nightswimming - rem.
3. with or without you - u2
4. say goodbye - dmb.
5. crush - dmb.

Five songs that remind you of you:
1. the blonde waltz - charlatans uk
2. gold dust - tori amos.
3. 3 x 5 - john mayer (old school live version).
4. unfold - jason mraz.
5. #41 - dmb.

Five songs to be played at your wedding:
1. moondance - van morrison.
2. comfortable (old school version) - john mayer.
3. the way you look tonight - frank sinatra.
4. tripping billies - dmb.
5. crush - dmb

Five songs to be played at your funeral:
1. shine - pmb
2. two step - dmb
3. dragonfly - josh clayton-felt
4. darkest hour - glen phillips
5. sha sha - ben kweller (let them have fun figuring out why i would want that played!!)

Five songs to dance like a maniac to:
1. you outta know - alanis.
2. wide open spaces - dixie chicks (if you don't know, don't ask).
3. anything on the justin timberlake album.
4. you can do it - by i'm not sure who
5. peace frog - the doors.

Five songs to help you sleep:
1. kristina (piano version) - howie day
2. covered in rain - john mayer
3. anything on norah jones "come away with me"
4. january rain - david gray
5. say goodbye - dmb
better late than never - the latest installment of the friday five on any day but friday (ignore the fact that i'll have another one of these to answer in two days - whoops!):

1. what was your most memorable moment from the last week?
oh good lord, this would have been so much easier to answer last friday - probably? um ... the realization that april was descending upon me at breakneck speed, the feeling that family and friends would be arriving in my little neck of the woods in a matter of days and weeks and that spring was finally looming before me, dripping with potential and the fragrance of the soon-to-be-blossoming cherry blossoms. either that or the feeling i had on the metro on my way to work on friday (which i blogged about).

2. what one person touched your life this week?
a lot of people touched my life last (which should be read as "this") week, but i think the top props should go to blythe or robyn, both of whom showed me that i have closer relationships with people at work than i realized. this brought me great joy. :)

3. how have you helped someone this week?
i hooked people up with mad tour love last (this) week.

4. what one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
i need to tame the wilderness that is my room by the time my family arrives on thursday (note: i write this on wednesday, which means i need to accomplish this, well, tonight).

5. what one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
i will make an active effort to discern between the things i can change (and improve on them) and the things i cannot change (and not let them drive me bonkers).
this is absolutely hysterical. i don't know about you, but i know i'll be following this story.

the word of the day is, quite simply, glorious. in all facets. the word has been in my mind all day - as i made the walk to the metro this morning, as i walked out of union station ("out past the fountain, a left at the station ...") and made my way up to the office. it continued throughout the morning until i was able to escape outside for my lunch hour, at which point i sat on sun-baked sandstone, ate my lunch, read my book and periodically closed my eyes, letting the sunshine spill over me without any other thought or distraction. and it was in my mind as i walked back to the office just now, past a woman in a sharp black suit with a gold shirt underneath, her just-past-shoulder-length white hair cast behind her shoulders as she leaned against the back of a bench in the shade, her eyes closed, face tilted up slightly with a content smile on her face.

she didn't see me pass by, obviously, but i felt that at that moment, we had to be sharing the same thought, as there was no other way of describing the moment: glorious.

4.01.2003

i just want things to be simple. i'm about ready to scream.
oh what a shame that your
pockets did bleed on st. valentine's
and you sat in a chair thinking:
"boy i'm such a prince!"
well life's a train that goes
from february on day by day
but it's making a stop on april first ...

- rufus wainwright, april fool's