sometimes i am far too pathetic. for instance, spending a good half hour trying to figure out what to wear tomorrow at the conference, thus tormenting beth and michelle with ridiculous questions and fears. an example: "see, i'm supposed to wear subtle colors. and this is subtle. but i'm worried that camel is a little too spring for this time of year. and i haven't polished these shoes."

i need to get a reality check. this is not a job interview. this is a conference. i will not be working at the new york times after graduation. i need to put aside fears about scuffed shoes, finish typing my resume, and have fun tomorrow! and keep in mind that i look good and camel is perfectly appropriate in early spring.

ah...i cannot believe how much i have to accomplish today...to think that i will be in fair gotham at this time tomorrow...

i roughly tallied my internship hours thus far and found myself somewhere in the 90 ballpack.

sweeeeeeet.

byline week for me: today (well, technically, yesterday), tomorrow (well, technically, today) and thursday (well, technically, thursday).

i'm upstairs...and all i need in life is a wee lil bit of salsa con queso and chips to go to bed...but i don't feel like i can go downstairs to get said nourishment...my bed looks so comfy...but without salsa con queso, bad things may happen and i won't be in good shape tomorrow...but i don't want to interrupt...aurgh...

so...

i'm at work.

ted asked me to come in early because i was doing an advance for the championship games tomorrow. as he put it, "we'll get you in early and get you out early."

so...

i'm still at work.

everyone but paginator guys is covering a game somewhere. so that leaves me and mike (mike the wonder intern boy) to handle the calls. i don't mind, i'm just a little on the tired side. and i had to do all the agate for the skiing championships out in alaska, and frankly, it was a bit straining on the eyes.

i'd like to ask to head home early, but i don't want to look like a pain...it's just that i'm going to be going to barre tomorrow for the division 2 game, and that means i'm leaving earlier than i normally do and, therefore, putting in more hours at work, and considering that i'm putting in extra hours tonight and i have a lot of work to do before monday...it would be nice to be able to duck out early...

i just want to be able to enjoy a friday night like all the other 21-year-olds in this damn city!!!!!!

ok, my whining is finished.

hahahahaha...john has a music video...i don't want to sound mean. obviously, much as i'm disappointed with his apparent choices now, i'm a john fan. and i'm not slamming the video...i suppose what's so interesting is seeing the first music video for someone i can't believe actually HAS a music video...it's crazy. he's just supposed to be playing shows. it's too odd to see all these transitioning shots and closeups of his face and shots of fans buying tickets and all that.

it's odd to see him getting bigger!

apparently this is payback for all the times i've cursed my desire to be a journalist. and how sweet the payback is! *knock on wood*

tonight i'm going to see tom wicker in the international commons. wicker is a pretty big name in journalism--new york times, reported from dallas about the jfk assassination--he's got amazing stories and i'm incredibly excited about being able to listen to him and perhaps speak to him afterwards. it'll be cool to speak to someone who has done so much for the field and has been a witness to some of the major events in recent american history...

monday is new york day. plane tickets have been purchased, erica and i are set to go. i'll only grumble a little about having to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. at the latest--i have no problems with being awake at 4 a.m., but it's generally because i haven't slept yet, forget waking up that early...a conference at the new york times, then a couple hours to kill in the city before heading back to laguardia for the flight back to burlington. an opportunity to be in the new york times, a chance to meet with other college journalists and make some connections (much as i hate that word because i feel like i'm a corporate shark whenever i use the word). it's a little nerve-wracking to be flying in and out of the city on the six-month anniversary...but making my first trip to the city since before 9-11 will probably be eerie, especially on that day. it looks like we'll be there for the first showing of the "towers of light", which i'm glad i'll be able to witness. well, not glad per se, but i'd like to think you know what i mean. considering that i tend to be a sentimental sap, i think being there on that day will mean a lot to me.

tuesday it looks like i'll be going along with burlington-area kids for chill--a program sponsored by burton snowboards and mitsubishi motors. basically, kids are given the chance to snowboard at bolton mountain for free and learn to ride. it sounds like a cool program, and i'll be writing a piece on it. i spoke with maggie, the head of the program, and she's thrilled that i'm covering it and matt said i could go crazy with the story. i'll ride to bolton with everyone, talk to kids, talk with the coordinators, and they even said i could give boarding a shot myself, which i'm super excited about! i'm sure i'll break myself, but hey, what the hell, it'll be fun.

things are busy, but good busy, and i feel happy that i'm accomplishing things. i called howie's management today and left a voicemail for shawn, so i'm hoping to find out if howie would be able to play at the concert. if not, one of the people from don law said she's got a bunch of artists who would work really well, so maybe we'll be able to even book one of them for a reasonable price and have a good time.

so now i just need to get my defender stuff done, work on my review to send in to ACTF, and make sure i get rest sunday night so i'm not a zombie on monday. crikey!

i just realized that i'll be in new york on the six-month anniversary of 9/11.

never, ever mess with me while john is supervising a shift!

during my user support shift from hell the other day, a professor asked for copier paper, so i went and got him some. the secretary wasn't there, i wasn't doing anything at the time, so i thought i'd be nice. however, the copier was fucking up and jamming. so i tried helping a little bit because i'm nice like that. and it was right at the end of my shift, so i thought i'd end the day on a high note. this professor wouldn't get it through his head that the copier wasn't working properly, and i told him that i wasn't overly knowledgable about the machinery because it doesn't fall under user support supervision. nonetheless, he tells me that he needs these copies and has to start class, so tells me that if i could do my best with getting the copies for him, he'd be back in about ten minutes to get them and walks away. i felt like i was about an inch tall and i was pissed off--though, admittedly, a lot of that aggression had to do with the fact that everyone and his cousin was pissing me off by that point.

i went back into the office and groaned to john about it, and he went apeshit--yet again showing why he is such a kicass boss. little did i know that he was going to make sure that didn't happen again. as he put it, "i don't think anyone who works here should have to put up with that shit, particularly you!"

ah, they look out for me.

must call child travel for plane stuff and howie's management for booking prices today before going to the f. tom wicker is going to be on campus tonight, and i hope to be able to go see him--he sounds fascinating.

random note for the day: nothing better than being curled up in bed, having a late-night phone conversation.

i know, i'm pathetic. shush.

proctor high alert, proctor high alert! an interview with andrew sutherland about his new album. go androo...

February 22, 2002
Not Wanted: '02 Graduates Seeking JobsBy LYNNLEY BROWNING

BOSTON — When the millions of students who are set to graduate from college this spring started out in the late 1990's, the stock market was on a bull run and the dot- com frenzy was in full swing. At colleges across the country, career-services offices fashioned makeshift interview booths to accommodate the companies on a hiring binge.

Fresh-faced 22-year-olds commanded signing bonuses of $10,000 or more. People with bachelor's degrees in engineering or computer science often had a dozen job offers, some with six-figure salaries. Liberal arts majors found plenty of opportunities, too, working for Internet companies and consulting and financial firms.

Those heady times are gone. With the economy still struggling, layoffs increasing and corporate America wary about the near future, students who complete their undergraduate degrees this year face the worst job market for college graduates in nearly a decade.

"It's not like people even want a job in their major — they just want a job," said Sakara A. Bey, a senior at Tufts University who is majoring in engineering psychology. "It's become a prize possession."

Amid a severe retrenchment in hiring that began last summer, said Marilyn F. Mackes, executive director of the National Association of Colleges and Employers, "the job candidate is no longer calling the shots." The association calls this year's job market the tightest for graduating seniors since 1994, when companies began hiring again — slowly — after the 1990-91 recession.

Ms. Mackes estimated that there would be 20 to 25 percent fewer jobs for students who graduate with bachelor's degrees this year, typically in May or June. That does not surprise Nathan I. Perlis, 21, a biology and Judaic studies major at Tufts, who has long planned to go to medical school. "Out of 20 friends, I have one who actually has a job," he said in December, about two months after the peak recruiting season at most colleges. "A lot aren't even looking because they know it's so hard."

At Boston University, barely 50 companies came to a two-day recruiting fair in October, compared with about 100 the previous year, said Richard A. Leger, director of career services at the university. Many companies had just instituted hiring freezes, he said, and even those that showed up were, in many cases, there simply to maintain a presence on the campus. Among the no-shows at a B.U. off-campus job fair last month in New York, he said, were Ogilvy & Mather, the advertising agency, and Zenith Media, a communications company that is part of the Zenith Optimedia Group.

Recruiters may not return soon. In January, the unemployment rate was 5.6 percent, the highest level since April 1995. The unemployment rate for college graduates who are 25 or older nudged down to 2.9 percent last month from 3.1 percent in December — the highest level since April 1993, according to the Bureau for Labor Statistics. Economists expect jobless figures to continue to rise, although at a slower pace. Layoffs have been pronounced in the financial services, consulting, manufacturing and technology industries. Particularly hard hit has been the travel industry.

"You send companies e-mail messages and they say `We're on hold,' or you never hear back," Mr. Leger said. "It's like we're the ones having to do the recruiting."

Michael J. Walsh Jr., B.U.'s director of career services for engineering students, said 34 companies pledged to come to a job fair for engineering majors earlier this month, compared with 59 companies last year. Seven of the companies agreed to come after Mr. Walsh waived the $250 participation fee for them.

Worse, only 12 companies, mostly military contractors, have signed up to recruit B.U. engineering students this spring, compared with 20 last year. While Mr. Walsh would not name companies that had dropped out, he said they included major computer and software concerns and struggling or defunct dot-coms.

The drought has spurred him to cold-call prospective employers and scan local help-wanted ads for leads.

But such efforts may not bear fruit for another six months. Philip D. Gardner, director of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute at Michigan State University, said that most of the 290 companies surveyed by the institute in October were likely to resume hiring in the summer when students are not on campus and are hard to track down.

FleetBoston Financial, the large bank based in Boston, said it planned to hire only about half as many new graduates this year, mostly as financial analysts and loan officers, according to James E. Mahoney, a spokesman. He noted, though, that last year was a record hiring year for the company. EMC, a data storage company based in Hopkinton, Mass., about 35 miles west of Boston, plans to reduce its hiring of fresh graduates this year by half, to several hundred people, said Greg Eden, a spokesman.

Not all companies are closing their doors. Gillette, which has headquarters in Boston and makes a range of personal goods besides razors, will hire 13 new graduates to start in late spring, one fewer than last year, said Stephen K. Brayton, a spokesman.

The sudden shift in the job market has led students to plan for futures they never envisioned. That may not necessarily be bad, though.

"I'm looking at Teach for America and FEMA," said Adam D. Babin, 21, an advertising major at B.U., referring to a high-school teaching program and the government's emergency-management agency. "Everyone's either going to do something unrelated to their major or move back home."

Around a dozen undergraduates interviewed at Tufts and Boston University late in December said the dwindling number of jobs was also prompting many of them to apply to graduate school in their disciplines or to law school. The Law School Admission Council, an industry organization in Newtown, Pa., said that as of Jan. 26, applications to law school from people of all ages were up 25.2 percent over last year.

But more schooling is not an attractive option to Pavan Pant, 21, an engineering and computer systems major at B.U. "A lot of kids simply don't want to go to grad school after four years in college," Mr. Pant said. He is hoping that his internship last summer at I.B.M. will lead to a job at the company but he does not yet have an offer.

Compounding their troubles, many seniors will have sizable student loans to pay off after graduation. David S. Stein, a clinical psychology major at Tufts with $20,000 in student loans, said he hoped to land an $18,000-a-year job at a home for troubled children and families in Needham, Mass. But if he gets that job, he said, he will have to live with his parents, ask them for money and take out more loans.

Other students said they were scrambling for part-time internships that might become full-time paying jobs. Jean M. Papalia, director of career services at Tufts, said approximately 100 students participated over winter break in one- to two- week internships arranged by the university at local companies and organizations, up from 70 the previous year. The number of companies recruiting at Tufts last fall was much lower, she said, though she could not provide details.

Mr. Gardner of the Collegiate Employment Research Institute said that many engineering and computer science majors would probably receive at least one offer. But starting salaries will not be as stratospheric as in years past. The average high- end salary for computer science majors has fallen from around $65,000 to the low $50,000's, Mr. Gardner said.

Liberal arts majors are finding the job market particularly tough.

Amanda K. Bronesky, 21, a senior majoring in international relations and Spanish at Tufts, said she was crushed when EF Education, a language school company based in Cambridge, Mass., dropped out of a Tufts career fair in October. But Ms. Bronesky said she hoped to land an internship, paid or unpaid, at Explorica, an educational exchange company in Boston. Her backup plan is to live with her parents in Denver, and work as a waitress.

"Before the economy got bad, jobs were just given to students," said Ms. Bey, the Tufts senior, whose plan is to apply to graduate programs in engineering psychology. "Now the companies are saying, `Come and find me.' "

oh goody.

argh. looking for flights from burlington to new york. i can't really consider driving because i have to be down there by 11 a.m., but it's hard to find a flight that fits into such a tight schedule. looks like the only one that works is over $300. i don't want to have to take a lot from the budget to pay for it, but i suppose if that's my only real expense...(plus the return flight would perhaps be late enough for me to slip up to the top of the empire state building--i've never been to new york without stopping there and i don't really want to break the tradition...hmm.)

new york in six days. new york times. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"no such thing" is being played at EQX. it's official, the boy is making it if he's even reached vermont.

good lord.

people are being morons this afternoon at work--people calling in for help but refuse to listen to the help i try to give them. i'm not just saying all of this stuff to hear myself talk...i'm trying to give people tips for next time. so shut up and listen to me!

tonight i learn how to wire stories into the f from remote so i can cover boys' championship games on saturday. whee!

clinton is cool. i hope we can meet up in d.c.

that is all. now i read for my various classes. oy.

I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?

i ate a fortune cookie this evening that had three fortunes inside. not one, not two, but three. i am very pleased by my fortuntes:

- you will be happy be receipt of good news.
- stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.
- a cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.

happy happy...revel, revelrevel.

What Sex Toy Are You?

words cannot describe how exhausted i am.

oy.

seems we're not alone in feeling frustrated/disappointed with the lupo's show...quite a few long-time fans appear to be dealing with conflicting emotions about john's success.

ok, off to burlington.