one thing i make a conscious effort not to do is make assumptions about other peoples' jobs. since i don't know what goes into those jobs, i'm not really one to act like i do know what they do and how much they work and whatnot. i think it's common courtesy.

therefore, i find it highly offensive when other people talk about MY job. my job in which i DON'T get any money, i get bitched at constantly, and i find myself struggling to get everything done on time.

i will now provide explanations for defender practice, for all those who seem to inquire about what we actually do over in the bergeron lab:

- we publish nine issues. we cannot publish more than nine because we cannot possibly publish during weekends in which we are not on campus. we cannot paginate when everyone is in different states. if someone has an idea about how exactly we can conference-paginate, feel free to contact me.

- allegation: defender does not cover "real" news. truth: where was this naysayer when we covered sept. 11 and how it affected the campus? was said person asleep when we sent an editor to new york city to cover the scene at ground zero? did any other oncampus publication (student-run, that is) effectively address how the campus was affected? the answer is no. we cover events objectively. were there other reporters in the ryan parking lot while two cars were being examined by police and firefighters after they were lit on fire? was there a photographer from any other campus publication? no. we refuse to publish rumor if it is not backed by fact, we examine issues that should be covered in a respectful way, and we expect our writers to produce polished, A.P.-style work. we ask questions, we try to look at the bigger picture, and we try, with our staff that is never more than eight people, to cover the events of the entire st. michael's campus plus juggle classes and our other responsibilities.

we are constantly learning. every semester, the old staff leaves and a brand new staff arrives. we learn programs for layout, photography. we learn editing skills and continue to learn about the craft of writing. those who return learn management, design, advertising and time management. we work 20-30 hours a week (at minimun) creating, finetuning, and presenting publications each week to inform the st. michael's campus.

i invite any naysayers to try doing what we do for a week. if you can produce better work than us, feel free to criticize. in that case, hell, i'll agree with you. however, until i see anyone else lining up to do what we do each week, i can do nothing but laugh at you. i don't pretend to understand what you do in your position. i don't pretend to like you, and i refuse to play the little social games you play. so DO NOT smile and say hello to me and then bash my newspaper with your little friends. get your ass over here and give it a shot. then see how much bashing you'll do.

highlights from the evening:

- leaving laundry my own personal message curosty of nicole

- senior social was fun. i was a rock s ar.

- after-party at josh & nicks. bastard boy is named. fun times. now can't feel finger.s

i love being a senior, 21 years old, and being able tohava fun night.

"i'm caaaaaaacked."

why doi think i'll delete htis blog tomorrow?

coming to a theatre near you: VORTEX, based on VORTEX: the great american novel, the tale of a band, vortex, trying to get ahead in this crazy world by making it big at a seedy LA club--VORTEX. starring: v, hayden christensen and pairing newcomers m and e. special appearances by casey affleck, jesse bradford, and cb.

doesn't it have a nice ring to it?

more john in rolling stone action...wheeeeeeee!

when one is tired when one wakes up, all one needs to start the day off on the right note is a little gonads and strife.

yo motherfucker, wheeeeeeeeeee!

work, then parental visit, then working with drew & kirk, then f. fun fun fun.

imagine my surprise to find that someone found this lil blog by searching for "shawn radley"--and my ranting and raving about him with the howie coffeehouse debacle comes up on the search engine.

official statement: i, victoria, do not have issues with shawn radley. it was a mixup that was unfortunate, but he did get in touch with me and was nice about it. i do not think he is a moron, i have no hard feelings, and i feel quite bad that someone stumbled across an entry that was written while i was exceptionally pissed off.

although i do find it amusing, in its own sort of way...but nonetheless, sorry shawn. you're A-OK.

seth yavacone band played in alliot tonight. i was impressed.

now i work out.

that is all.

take a listen to main street east--i really like.

approximately 15 minutes to go. forget growling, my stomach is roaring. my left arm is starting to look somewhat appetizing at this point...almost home. almost to my bowl of beautiful

wonderful

nutritious

special k with berries.

soon.

internship--day two. i have my first story--i'm doing an advance on the high school state cheerleading competition. it'll be my first f byline...

i've also got a few story ideas that t gave me that i'm going to be able to check out. i feel bad that i'm missing next week because of ACTF, but t amazingly cool and was fine with it. as long as i'm around in february and march for basketball games, i'm cool. i think it means that the next few weeks of my life will be devoted to basketball.

things are going to be fine, i just need to make sure i take time to relax, as well. today's been fully booked all day (work, ACTF, f), and i have classes all tomorrow. after everything settles into place (ACTF, defender, schedule), i'll be fine. right now it's a little hectic, though, because i feel like i don't have time to get anything accomplished for anyone. i just have to look at the small picture--focus on what i need to do each hour, get that done, and move on to the next.

working at user support was surprisingly enjoyable today. i had the best day there i've had in ages. i gave eric shit, he gave me shit, i showed people remarkably simple fixes to "impossibly annoying" problems, and the four hours whizzed by.

i just have to remember to find time to eat during busy days like this. i forgot to do that today (or rather, i didn't really think about it until i sit down here at 7 p.m...), and i know there's a bowl of special k with the red berries at home with my name on it. mmm...only three more hours... ;)

scotty's road journal entries are my drug--so good to get a fix. ;)

what the hell was that?!? apparently i'm on crack today...

maloney walked up to me yesterday as i was waiting to get into the classroom for literary seductions, put his arm on my shoulder, and told me that he was watching chocolat over the weekend and there was a character in it who looked like me. curses!!! my life of relative obscurity is crumbling as i speak...the general public is learning of my feature film debut... ;) i've wanted to watch the movie anyway, but now i'm intrigued. i know, i'm a narcissistic bitch at times. ;)

after working on some ACTF things in the library, drew and i walked outside to find nick, and we began talking about our respective futures and whatnot (a topic that is contstantly lurking in the back of my mind). after having said discussion, the three of us noticed the large, fluffy snowflakes that had begun to fall, so we spent time trying to catch them on our tongues. we would crouch down, jump up, and roam about trying to capture the snowflakes, and i realized that the simple action was an incredible comfort to me. there's something so reassuring about going from such a heavy topic to a childlike, fun activity...

today i work at user support from 1 to 5, then work on the scene for ACTF with drew and kirk, then my internship from 7 to 11.

in a week, i'll be on my way to the festival!!! the ACTF regional festival was one of the best weeks of my junior year. it's a week of complete immersion in theatre--seeing two shows a day, going to workshops, seeing acting competitions (or, in this case, supporting someone in the acting competition) and, if one chooses, writing about theatre continuosly for two days. besides that, there is the opportunity to meet theatre students from across the northeast, hang out in hotel rooms, and relax (party) for five days. i'd never experienced anything like it before--and i can't wait to go back.

it didn't tape. :( and hayden didn't win.

LotR was fantastic. following the production process (well, as much as possible, obviously) and seeing what i'd read about live in front of me on the screen was a fascinating experience. kudos to those associated with the production. i've only read the first book (chuck, having discussed this with me before christmas break, put a fabulous paperback edition of all three books combined into my christmas stocking--therefore earning a gold star for the next three years), but seeing how my imagination compared to peter jackson's imagination was thrilling--both when they lined up (my image of gollum, for instance, and some of the locations) and when they varied drastically (sean bean brought a whole new dynamic to boromir i never read into--his character had redeeming qualities and dignity, which i didn't see on the page).

and beth laughed heartily while i enjoyed my second big-screen viewing of the star wars trailer. as well as during one of the questions they always show before the previews start: "which is your favorite star wars movie?" my answer: "the one with hayden christensen in it..." (for the record, i did thoroughly enjoy "return of the jedi").

i returned home, read about 65 pages of henry james (not much of a fan, not going to lie about it), created the sign up sheet for defender story meetings, and now am preparing for bed, as i have to be in sue's class at 8-fricking-15 tomorrow morning to give my 5-minute talk about writing for the paper. oh, how i joyously await that experience...

i've decided, since no official soundtrack is being released for it, i am going to make my own copy of the "life as a house" soundtrack. there is a score available, but fuck that. look at this track listing...
- guster, "what you wish for"
- gob, "that's the way"
- on, "soluble words"
- default, "live a lie"
- marilyn manson, "sweet dreams"
- default, "somewhere"
- ohgr, "water"
- limp bizkit, "rearranged"
- guster, "rainy day"
- joni mitchell, "both sides now"
- deadsy, "gramercy park"
- radiohead, "how to disappear completely"

now all i need to do is see the movie...

golden globes are on this evening. since i might be going to see lord of the rings tonight (finally!!!), i'm probably taping the awards show. ever since i was a little kid, i have loved awards show season (shallow as that might be), so i'm looking forward to it. the official (as i see it) kick off to the awards season...

...then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
the haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
with all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
let me forget about today until tomorrow...

Take the Which Radiohead Album are you? Quiz.

i went to baz's tonight for her new year's eve party. the rationale being that since we weren't able to be together for new year's for real, we could all reenact it so we are, in a sense, together when the clock strikes midnight.

i actually had a blast. bethy, drew, michelle and i went over, and it was a lot of fun. i had a chance to see people i hadn't seen yet, and i was able to reconnect with some that i hadn't talked to in awhile.

in other news, i've been playing guitar regularly, and i'm happy to say that my fingers are getting caloused again and i'm slowly teaching myself to be able to play howie's "after you."

now i sleep. first day of internship tomorrow.

"time heals all wounds."

hmm...if the situation was handled maturely, time does heal wounds. otherwise, however, you don't know me nearly as well as you think you did.

i'm determined: my senior seminar project is going to be putting on a benefit concert. and it is going to be great.

senior sem, besides it being three and a half hours long (?!?!?!) is going to be interesting. dyane and jon are already scaring me with how they keep talking about how it will be the last time we do this and the last time we do that and how the class is in one big group so we can all join together as the journalism class of 2002--i cannot believe i'm graduating...but i ran my idea by dyane and she seemed excited about it. and she kept stressing during class about how we have to love what we are going to be devoting the semester to and how we shouldn't be afraid to try something we normally wouldn't try--and this is ideal: i'm combining journalism with music, it's going to a cause (therefore providing a purpose), and it can have a great end result. baz might join forces with me for this one, which would be fantastic. it would be a great project and it would be wonderful to have someone sharing the experience with me...

i have a few ideas for bands/artists...i'm calling to find out booking prices tomorrow.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, and the books we're reading for the class? stephen king, on writing (have it in hardcover, love it) and kerouac's on the road (have it, have been meaning to read it) among a couple others.

if all goes according to plan, at least i'll be going out with a bang...

bethy and i just kicked our asses working out.

we're hardcore!!!!

alright. after finding people have found my site through this, this, AND this, i have to start wondering...wtf? is there some growing pop culture trend that i'm utterly unaware of or is it something i just shouldn't question?

in other news, i found some stuff by a band called main st. east--i like.