alert! alert! (OR peanut butter jelly, bread and butter)

status check - good
background ambiance - tv (desperate housewives - whee!)

have you seen this pink blur? be warned - this monstrosity is the embodiment of concert spoilage. a fan of the lousy slightly stoopid, this otherwise lame-but-oblivious person became the target my disdain during ss's set, as michelle and i tried to escape the wretched "we're dispatch on seriously drowsy medication" sounds that filled the orpheum last night.

why this pink-clad, trucker-hat-high-and-backwards fellow? because he was among the rowdy minions who made the staff decide to not allow out-of-state licenses without a second form of ID at the drink station - not to mention the decision to forbid a duplicate ID in any attempt to purchase. so, since i don't live in boston yet and i lost my original ID, i wasn't even able to try drinking the music out of my head. yet this guy, who looked all of 17 and probably had a lovely new fake ID? he walked by me with his overflowing cup of alcoholic goodness - and my 24-year-old-competely-legal-for-three-years self wound up directing all my faux-rage at him.

so, without even a cup of beer (which i would have happily consumed, i didn't like slightly stoopid so much), i instead stood with michelle in the lobby, watching staff kick out drunk, stoned, rowdy or oblivious people out of the orpheum during the stupid set. which actually proved far more amusing than one might think. i couldn't believe the crowd there last night ... it really seemed as if every truly obnoxious person i've ever known was cloned and handed tickets. but perhaps i should have expected it? the gramatical atrosity of slightly stoopid's name alone turned me off - i imagine that's part of the appeal for the "oh damn we're too late for the grateful dead" crowd.

why am i starting off the post on such a sour note? so i can get my good-natured bitching out of the way early. the fact of the matter is that i had a fabulous time during my return to the orpheum last night. i walked in excited to see tristan perform (again - it's been funny to realize how frequently she's performed in this area lately - thanks, t!), walked out with a mini-crush on garrett (g. love).

i went to the show to see tristan. well, truth be told, i went to the show because michelle bought me the ticket as a birthday present - i didn't know until yesterday afternoon whether we were seeing t&g or ari hest at the paradise (it was a surprise. note to michelle: good selection and thank you again!). but upon being told that the orpheum was the "venue has an e in the name, you've been there in the past 12 months and we can get there either by driving or by taking the t to a green line stop" she referred to, i was psyched to see tristan again before she returns to the west coast.

and she was fabulous - again. the set was short (as to be expected, as she was the first act of the night), but she included "guest check," "love love love," and "evaporated." not to mention a brand new song that i really dug. the slightly stoopid crowd was absurdly rude, shouting throughout her set, but she made sure to playfully threaten to kick their asses, so we were whooping for her from our seats in the balcony.

and after the whole lobby hangout episode, we went back to our seats to be thoroughly impressed by g. love. i was shocked - i'd seen g. love perform five years ago and wasn't overly crazy about the performance (funny anecdote: we actually left g. love's woodstock set so we could be sure to get over to the other stage and see lit perform. hmm. g. love's still around ... can't say the same for lit). but the set was a crazy kind of fabulous. i'd recommend anyone catch a live show - the music that doesn't come off overly well on an album just needs a space to fill, while g. love brings a legs-pumping-body-dancing-with-attitude charm to his performance. i was singing along to songs i didn't even think i remembered and falling for the funk/blues/r&b/hip-hop flavor presented.

the evening's expectations were beyond fulfilled by the time garrett invited tristan onstage to perform "beautiful, beautiful." singing along and cheering accompanied said song.

as we walked away from the theater after stopping by to say hi to tristan, i danced around a bit and realized the show was a great cap to a delightful day. after arriving in southie, michelle and i headed into the city and wandered the common, tremont, boylston, washington street and the north end. admittedly, we were limping our way to the orpheum by the time doors opened, as we were both wearing shoes not suited for distance walking (my feet still ache), but we laughed, chatted and took photographs throughout it all. not just fine holiday fun. grand holiday fun.

walking through the city, i again vowed to get there sooner rather than later. after the alcohol fiasco, i added a side vow: to go to a show there after moving and acquiring a massachusetts driver's license. i'm going to order a beer and take a big ol' swig of it right in front of the table. and laugh.
 

pre-sleep

status check - tired
background ambiance - television

a couple quick posts can be found on my myspace account, but the past few days have been busy with rushing about from here to there to back again. i'll be hitting the roads again tomorrow night, so as to eat turkey and treats with my family come thursday.* after returning to burlington, i'll work that dangling friday shift, sleep and then hit the roads again - an encore performance of victoria in boston (due to popular demand).

as for now ... paul - "dream brother: the lives and music of jeff and tim buckley" is the book to which you referred. i recommend it - i found it insightful and interesting.

to boston and back - photography

status check - tired
background ambiance - silence

in desperate need of sleep, but i will provide tales and anecdotes from the weekend tomorrow. look for a tristan interview piece in notebook nightlife by the end of tomorrow or tuesday at the latest.

as an added bonus, the first in several batches of digital photography is now available here. photos from the paradise saturday night and from the ira allen chapel friday night will be available by tomorrow night. for guest logins: user name - alternacoustic. password - DA36. 

lovely.

status check - happy
background ambiance - howie day, after you (thank you, digicam!)

there's nothing quite like the feeling of walking out of an interview you were super nervous about and realizing just how much fun you wound up having.

tristan was a delight - an interview piece and reviews of both her set and howie's will be on notebook nightlife early next week (probably monday).

quick summary? both were incredible. best tristan set i've yet attended, definitely the best howie set i've witnessed in a loooong time. i can't really compare tonight's set to the old days - they're apples and oranges in my mind. but he was outstanding, even managed to fit "moose cock" into the set.
 

lovely - cont.

now that takes skill, my friends.

and i've got video of a couple tristan songs and bits of howie's set - including "after you," the inclusion of which made me grin like a fool. no buckley tease, but i was more than content.

oh. someone actually hollered for "#41." michelle and beth, i thought of you both and laughed myself silly.

"'bunnies?' you play 'bunnies.'"

alright, sleep now. i plan to leave for boston in less than seven hours. 

admission

status check - sheepish, yet proud
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, the art teacher

OK! fine! i admit it! i watch it!

and know what? i'm not going to hide anymore. i will embrace the fact that i take advantage of the opportunity to catch glimpses of the album production process. i think it's a neat (albeit slightly egotistical) thing to do for those outside the process.

and dammit - it's funny at times. the frequently changing cam title alone makes me chuckle. afterhourscam, karmakamelcam, kirkcam(eron), camchowda. they're stupid and amusing, a bit over the top, but they make me smile and that's ok.

so yes. from time to time, i do watch the mrazcam. no, i don't spend every waking hour in front of it. no, i don't make screen copies. but i do watch it sometimes. OK? are you happy? LAUGH ALL YOU WANT!

xoxo - v.

my chat with turk.

status check - amused
background ambiance - typical

copied from my myspace blog. i should note that you ought to sign up for the addictive little e-space, as i find myself addicted to it as of late and posting more there than i have here. for that, non-myspace types, i apologize. but go check it out! you can read my rantings about baseball, music AND politics!

anyway. back to turk.

my chat with turk.
Current mood: amused

or, rather, jeff, turk's representative at 916-CALL-TURK. cool fellow, manning the phones over at NBC to take calls from "scrubs" fans like myself who figured "aw, why not? i'll try calling the number."

for those not aware, part of last week's episode included turk freaking over getting the 916-CALL-TURK phone number. and, because the show is brilliant like that, when you actually call the number, you get either a voicemail left by turk (donald faison, a crush of mine since the "clueless" days, i admit) or someone who picks up and fields the call.

my new friend jeff informed me that cast members are often the ones picking up, but they were on set when i called, so he's picking up and chatting with folks.

little quirky things like this raise the show even higher in my esteem. silly? of course. but funny? most certainly. and, as an added bonus, i was able to forget about feeling so lousy today. see? "scrubs" does have medicinal benefits.

i kinda dig the three-person crowds

status check - contemplative
background ambiance - rufus wainwright, want two (thanks, paul)

one of the best musical experiences ever, pulled out of my archives (pre-revelry archives - the madderrain era, circa march 2001):

... it was small, and i felt badly enough about that, and to make things worse, it was his birthday. i felt like a tool. but then i realized that those who were there really enjoyed his music and it was a great opportunity to hear him play and see his live show ... he was packing up when a group of four wandered in and jokingly asked if he'd play a song since they missed the show. matt pulled out his guitar and we (10 of us, i'd say) circled up in couches and chairs and he played for awhile longer. i requested "maid", and he did an amazing rendition of it. i'd say i preferred the second set because he sounded fantastic unplugged and completely accoustic. there's something about someone who can just sit down, strum a guitar, and sing that amazes me...even more so when there isn't anything electric (mics, amps, what have you) around. he also played "wings" for michelle because she missed it during the first set, which i thought was awesome.

i went searching for my thoughts on my first matt nathanson show after reading the latest mraz journal entry. per usual, a deftly worded run-through of several thought processes and events. but one particular chunk of the entry grabbed my attention - a comtemplative query about the nature of performance.

jason writes:
when you go to a show and you crowd into a room full of people who share the same idea of excitement and love for the music which you are about to see, you get that much more of a lift. you get to actually feel something. whereas, if you go to a show and only three people are in the audience, it's harder to find the energy to dance and make noise and participate in the show. it's how a musician gets high. it's what makes the show fun for you and your friends. it's what makes positive postive and negative negative, too much of one thing: a collective energy.

i give jason credit here. he brings up a very good point, and from the unique perspective of the performer. but while i think the idea of collective energy from a packed crowd is great - in theory - the actual experience of a shared musical moment emerges in those three- -- or ten- -- person shows more often than any crazy crowd.

why? call me cynical, but the packed houses aren't there for a shared sense of excitement and love for the music. they're there for the singles and the sex appeal. they're people who have perhaps listened to all of the major label release disc and think the music sounds kind of catchy. they're the ones who talk through an oldie but goodie so you get to the mtv hit. they're also the ones who stand outside a tour bus and scream for you to sign their sneakers, but hey.

the larger the show gets, the more ideas and expectations clash against each other to wreck the vibe. someone wants to hear the old stuff. someone wants to hear the tracks off the major album. someone else wants to hear the songs you've barely written.

the best shows i've attended have been the smaller ones - the ones where people go out of their way to make sure to see someone's set because they connected with the performer's sound in some special way. seeing people stop en route to the snack bar to listen to howie day's sets back in 2000. sitting in a ring nearby the fireplace to listen to matt's unplugged set. sitting in a room with the 20 other people who braved a snowstorm to hear an unknown john mayer play "not myself" hunched over his guitar.

have you ever been totally into a set and then realize the huge crowd around you is busy waiting for the next musician to come on? you just deflate a bit inside. because the crowd doesn't get it and the musician a mile away onstage doesn't know that someone out there really DID get it.

those are the shows that really get me. the ones where i feel like i'm right up there in the room with the musician - and he can sense my presence as much as i can sense his. there's a collective energy there too - but one with a face.

status check - sappy
background ambiance - tv news

the really good days always creep up on you.

you have a lot of decent days - nothing horrible, but nothing too spectacular. they're the norm and you're pretty content to have your inconsequential grumbles.

you have the clearly labeled "big days" - a trip, a show you've been looking forward to. some of them meet your expectations, while others, for whatever reason, fall short. but those are the days that are supposed to be great, the date circled on your calendar - either physically or, more often, simply set apart from the others in your mind.

then you have days like today, when nothing particularly out of the ordinary happens. but there are all the little pices of your day that come together to form sense of ordinary spectacle. you go shopping with your mother and get her to finally buy some things for herself. you find the perfect winter coat. you bicker and laugh as you try to fit a piece of lumber into the back of your car and you hear her giggle uncontrolably as the board hits you in the head as you get ready to drive home (there's an explanation, i swear). you burn her a mix cd of songs she really wants and laugh as you find the bay city rollers song she wants. you take some neat photos of a beautiful sunset on your new digital camera. you drive home, smiling and singing along to the mix you made for yourself, and you walk in to find your roommates wearing smiles that match your own. warm brownies and good television. more laughter.

nothing amazing happened, nothing that should set the day apart from any other. but realizing how well it all turned out - and realizing that you were happy and carefree throughout it all - you don't want to let the day end because it was all beautiful, in that ordinarily gorgeous way.

you wind up writing about it before bed, inexplicably crying because you realize how out-of-the-ordinary the day about to end was. and the people who really mean something to you - whether they were a part of this day or not - are more amazing than you feel you deserve.

you're just happy to have them. 

checking in

status check - worn out
background ambiance - "the daily show" (tivo!)

for someone with a particular interest in writing, i've had the damndest time with that whole communication concept as of late.

my apologies. blame myspace, as i've gotten hooked on it. again. but really? it's just a blah week and i don't feel like recording my sense of general disinterest so as to be remembered for the rest of time.

enlightened obsession

status check - tired, frustrated
background ambiance - typical

from rob brezsny's free will astrology ...

Scorpio -
According to philosopher George Santayana, "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." Let's make sure that doesn't become an apt description of you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. I have no problem with you redoubling your already-intensive efforts. In fact, I encourage you to take your dogged, concentrated approach to new levels that are unprecedented even for you. Just make sure that you never get sidetracked by fantasies of revenge or other irrelevant diversions. Stay hyper-focused on your worthy, noble goals. Show all of us the meaning of enlightened obsession.

well, my digital camera arrived ... 

a muck of a monday

status check - disheartened
background ambiance - typical

burlington's first snowfall is descending with a styrofoam swirl. these aren't snowflakes, instead small pellets of hard frozen fluff. they're so odd and hard on the outside that individual balls don't even feel cold when you try to squeeze them beween your fingers. i'm trying to imagine it's a cruel hollywood prank being played on already stressed vermonters - the snow's not real and it's not ready to be here through april. it's soundstage snow, not nature's.

i'd take foam snow over the real thing anyday.

i'm not ready for winter, not ready for cold, not ready for much of anything. i'm just tired and annoyed.

it's hard not to start feeling alone and melancholy when the skies are dreary and the wind is brisk. i feel colder, rougher around the edges and i have a lower tolerance level than normal. i don't want to let anyone in and i certainly don't want to start looking forward to something that will, like everything else, wind up blowing up in my face.

i see it in everyone else - people seem steelier and sharper just at the time i want someone to rub my back and let me get out a good cry. perhaps if i cry, i'll be able to wake up.

a resignation

status check - cold
background ambiance - television

there's that moment when you dig out your wool peacoat and put it on for the first time each season - when you resign yourself to the fact that winter's coming, whether you like it or not. all you can do is bundle up outdoors, curl up indoors, and wait for spring to save you.

well, that was interesting

status check - disappointed
background ambiance - silence

ok, let me clarify. for the record, if you will. i admit wholeheartedly that i was checking out michael as he stood over at the table. but i wasn't doing so with the thoughts his grandmother must have thought were going through my mind. i was noticing how much better he's looking now - and how relieved and happy i was to see him happy. it certainly did not warrant telling him about said checkout and pointing me out in my small group of friends!

that bit of hilarious birthday embarrassment aside, let me say this.

averi, i'm done. have a nice career.

it's a disenchanting moment
when you can finally say
it's just another sad example
of the basic rock & roll cliche

what's all this aboot?

status check - amused beyond belief
background ambiance - typical

i fucking LOVE THIS.

marry an american

notebook nightlife update

status check - peachy
background ambiance - live howie day - madrigals/new year's prayer/sweet

notebook nightlife has been updated with links to theater reviews published in the paper, some from a bit ago, two more recently. i've got several concerts lined up that will be reviewed for it in the coming weeks, as well as a scheduled interview with tristan prettyman when she's in burlington in two weeks. and since i'll have my digital camera shortly, i'll be able to add photos to the pieces. stop on over and check out the reviews if you haven't seen them in their print form - there's a link in the index on the right.

saying thanks

status check - good
background ambiance - phone call

i sent my parents flowers today.

normally, one might think the situation should be reversed. it's my birthday, so shouldn't i be getting the flower arrangements and accompanying card?

i say no. about a month ago, my mom joked around about birthdays, remarking, "you know some children send their mothers flowers on the child's birthday so as to say thank you."

she forgot about the comment, but i remembered, as i liked the idea. so today, my parents received a display of variously-shaded pink flowers in an old-fashioned sodashop glass. a "cherry" red-rose topped it off, as did two bent straws. it looks like a strawberry ice cream soda. inside the card, i added "thanks for that whole having me thing."

they loved it, which made me happy. after all, they're the ones who should really be celebrated today - hell, they've put up with having this crazy girl in their lives for 24 years.

that is one heck of an accomplishment.

so yes. the election put a rather somber tone on the day, but it wasn't a complete loss. i awoke to a message from my brother, reminding me that i'm old. i walked into the living room to find a message on the computer from my flatmate, reminding me that i'm old. spoke to my parents on the telephone and they reminded me that i'm old. add a birthday lunch to the mix and i'm happy but ready to break a hip or something.

and hey, not everyone gets a protest of anarchists ready to overthrow the bush regime on their special day. take that.

but thanks to those who remembered and sent messages and the like. especially to beth, julie, michelle, tom, parentals and becca. you're most fabulous.

the speeches - read between the lines

status check - old
background ambiance - television

first, john kerry

I wish that I could just wrap you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you individually all across this nation.

by "all across this nation," i mean those that mattered - i.e. california, massachuetts (my peeps, represent!), new york, jersey, and ohio - or at least the ohio voters who cast ballots for me. and those who voted for me even though i never stepped foot inside your measly, skimpy-electoral-vote-touting states.

I will always be particularly grateful to the colleague that you just heard from who became my partner, my very close friend, an extraordinary leader, John Edwards.

dude, sorry about that whole being unemployed thing. that's gonna blow. whoops.

They braved the hot days of summer and the cold days of the fall and the winter to knock on doors because they were determined to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans.

the hot days, the cold days - every day except november 2.

The time will come, the election will come when your work and your ballots will change the world. And it's worth fighting for.

gore/kerry 2008, bee-atches!

and now, bush:

America has spoken

and i say this: i hate you, california.

and I'm humbled by the trust and the confidence of my fellow citizens.

i can't believe they actually fell for that whole wolf thing.

I will need your support and I will work to earn it

and if that doesn't work, i will blow new england off the continent. dumbass yankee liberals.

and God bless America.

like, for real. you all actually bought the wolves thing? no joke? PUPPETS! ALL MINE!!!

*****

seriously. i live in a nation of morons.

one down, one to go

status check - pleased
background ambiance - johnny damon on letterman

i've been in a huge picture-taking phase as of late. after two years of taking virtually no photographs, i've gone wild with the camera and film, with various trips, visitors and adventures to document for the ages.

and for the past couple of weeks, as my family began asking what i wanted for my birthday and christmas, i've been saying that i only want two things: contributions to the "vickie goes to san diego in february" fund and a digital camera with which to document previously mentioned trip to san diego.

this evening, i picked out and ordered the lovely digital camera my parents and grandmother are giving me for my birthday ... which only leaves that whole contribution thing come christmas.

i'm going, dammit!

nanomo

status check - ambitious
background ambiance - typical

i'm participating in national novel writing month (nanomo) and will have a novel finished by dec. 1.

i'll write nothing more about it here until it is finished.

in other news, i have a new theory that i must further test out. it's somewhat exasperating, but i think i might be onto something. hmm ...

dinosaurs and duckboats

status check - beyond tired
background ambiance - live rilo kiley - pictures of success

shortly before noon yesterday, orange-vested state police gathered at the corner of storrow and the o'brien highway to block traffic, indicating to the line of ecstatic fans across the four-lane highway to breathlessly flood across to the median. explosions of red, white and blue tickertape temporarily concealed the view, dancing away to reveal the first in a caravan of duckboats, accompanied by "we are the champions" coursing through the loudspeakers. johnny damon appropriately led off, leaning out the front of his boat with a huge grin and victory hand gesture, his hair slightly mussed by two hours' parading and the persistent (yet ignored by all present) drizzle. the fat-lady-costumed woman across the street was singing, the trophy was hoisted and i was in the front row, feet away from my favorites. david ortiz was grinning, pokey smiled at my camera after i bellowed his name. i rationed my first roll of film perfectly, letting the camera rewind as we all took to the street and ran to the river by the museum of science to await the team's second pass, by water this time.

my father grinned as i bought him a yankee hater hat to celebrate this, our official "fool day." my brother got into the festive spirit and wore an smile as wide as anyone else's and i realized that these few fleeting moments of reckless enthusiasm were worth the midnight drive, the brief catnap and the desperate race to the open doors of a train at the beverly depot. even worth standing at our two-plus hour perch directly across the street from the museum's t-rex. the smiles on the faces of everyone present, captured both in my mind and on the fantastic roll of photos, confirmed the hopes i'd had while preparing for the adventure. 3.2 million people were grinning like idiots.

"this is one of those days we're going to want to tell your kids about," my dad said later, as we stood in line outside north station, waiting for the train back to beverly and the drive back to vermont.

he was right.

planes, trains and automobiles - or, the last two

status check - tired/excited
background ambiance - dave matthews band - rapunzel

so ... a whirlwind weekend approaches. tonight, i get a much-needed stoppard fix with "rosencrantz and gilderstern are dead," write a review, then hop in the car and head to massachusetts. my father and i are following through on our years-old pact to attend the inevitable red sox victory celebration together, so we'll be in boston bright and ungodly early tomorrow morning. i'm going to be on the lookout for vermonters so i can (perhaps) add a local element to wire story we'll run. i'm on the lookout for signs and vermont-gear.

through my preparation for this adventure, i found myself initiated into an exclusive society of red-vermont-hoodied people. there are five of us that we know of. i found it funny. and hell, i'll be warm while waiting for the parade, i'll have red gear on and i might catch the attention of fellow vermonters. score.

the sox are expected to be in vermont (burlington, in fact) next week to celebrate with all of us up in this area. i'm hoping against hope that it winds up happening on wednesday - thus making my 24th birthday the coolest ever. we'll see what happens - and i'll be sure to post the info once i know.

but as for now, i prepare for the kickass boston celebration - ignoring my less-than-fabulous memories of the last dispatch and how that crowd was less than favorable. this is the red sox we're talking about here. of course it'll be a great time.

here they are

status check - still dumbfounded
background ambiance - the standells

since everyone's looking for them ... here are your lyrics.

congratulations - see you at the parade!

I'm wanna tell you a story
I'm wanna tell you about my town
I'm gonna tell you a big fat story, baby
Aww, it's all about my town

Yeah, down by the river
Down by the banks of the river Charles
Aw, that's what's happenin' baby
That's where you'll find me
Along with lovers, buggers and thieves
Aw, but they're cool people

Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
Oh, you're the number one place

Frustrated women
(I mean they're frustrated)
Have to be in by twelve o'clock
(oh, that's a shame)
But I'm wishin' and a hopin', oh
That just once those doors weren't locked
I like to save time for my baby to walk around

Well I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh yeah)
'Cause I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston you're my home
(oh, yeah)
Well I love that dirty water
(I love it, baby)
I love that dirty water
(I love Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Have you heard about the Strangler)
I love that dirty water
(I'm the man, I'm the man)
I love that dirty water
(Owww!)
I love that dirty water
(a come on, a come on)
I love that dirty water
(come on)
I love that dirty water
(I'm in love with Boston)
I love that dirty water
(Aww yeah)
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water
I love that dirty water

we are a weird people

status check - sleepy
background ambiance - typical

there's something surreal and fascinating about forced objectivity. in a normal situation, i would have been flipping out from about 8 p.m. on last night, but i instead found myself in a surreal sort of alternative world - watching everything go on through a reporter's eyes. while i spent the first hours of the red sox reign frantically writing down everything that was happening around me, the reality of what was going on failed to sink in. i couldn't let it, after all. i had a job to do.

i was faced with the same situation a week earlier, as i covered everyone's reaction watching and, later, celebrating the red sox win over new york. it was downright eerie, how calm i felt about the whole thing. the next day, i chatted with a colleague about it, who told me that it's the sign of a journalist. your mind is processing the fact that something big is happening, but your emotions are checked until after the job is done.

the red sox win was a huge moment for millions of people and i have a feeling that for many, where they were and what they were doing when the sox officially broke the curse will be engraved in their memory for years to come. while i didn't have the opportunity to enjoy a huge outburst of energy i've been building up for years, i feel like i've got something just as valuable to show for it - i can snip out the articles i've written along the way that show precisely how things were when the moments came - when the sox beat the yankees, when the sox swept the cardinals.

after an absurdly long work-day and work-night, i got home and was completely unable to do anything other than stare at sportscenter's continuous loop of baseball footage. the tears i'd seen others shed after the game started to come on several occasions, particularly while hearing joe castiglione's call of the final out. but they never really came - i have a feeling they won't until saturday's victory parade.

which leads to my realization that i am an idiot. i'm going to be at the parade on saturday, which means i'll be exhausted beyond belief, probably to the point of lunacy. i'm reviewing a show tomorrow night, which means i have to forgo the otherwise rational idea of heading to boston immediately after i get out of work at 8. instead, i'm pondering writing the review, hopping in the car and heading to the city - or to my grandmother's place on the north shore. there are many variables still in the air - my father is considering going and we might work out something so we make the trip (as we've said for as long as i can recall that we'd go to the red sox victory celebration together).

but it doesn't matter. so what if i'm tired - i'll be alert and going wild as the parade winds by wherever i am to watch it. i'll be with at least several million of my closest fellow lunatics. most importantly, i'll be there for the red sox victory parade - the craziest, most passionate sports celebration in history.

as for now, however, i'm just flat-out tired. went to bed around 3:30, woke up late and set out to buy my red sox hat (to replace the hat that i lost at the kennedy center shortly before boston's post-season resurgance). ran into my old boss, who was clad in his red sox finest. laughed with him over the game. but now, in dire need of coffee, i've got the eyes glazing over and the yawns coming fast and frequently.

but i'm smiling like a fool.

curse - reversed.

status check - in shock
background ambiance - tv (sportscenter)

i know it may seem foolish. overdramatic. sappy.

i don't care.

the one team i have loved my entire life just won the world series. the one team that is NEVER supposed to win.

i'm alternately elated and dumbfounded. it doesn't seem like it actually happened - that i was actually covering the burlington celebration that followed. that i was able to call my father and yell "how bout dem red sox?"

it's the first time the sox have won a world series in my life and either of my parent's lives. the first time in my grandmother's life. my other three grandparents lived and died without a series win.

i'm almost afraid to go to sleep because i fear that i'll wake up and realize tonight was just a dream.

i don't think boston will have ever looked quite as beautiful as it will when i see it this weekend.

top of 6

status check - so nervous
background ambiance - keyboard clicking, baseball chatting

this morning, i woke up with a headache. i've been jittery and nervous all day. it's been a full 180 from my calm composure of the last four gamedays.

the scene around town? an eerie kind of calm. it feels as if every red sox fan is holding his or her breath, afraid to blow the whole house of post-season cards away. i can only wonder how it will be at that moment of collective release.

it's only gotten worse after the game started. the headache's gone - a bunch of tylenol works wonders. but it's starting to look like maybe ...

i can't even finish the thought. i just have to keep on watching.

come on, guys!

reverse the curse

status check - nervous
background ambiance - everyone's talking red sox

this just makes me grin like a fool.

go sox!

c'mon ...

status check - so pleased
background ambiance - post-game coverage

one.
more.
game.

c'mon guys ... let me feel like i can buy another red sox hat and not jinx things. let me feel like i should be making a trip to boston this weekend.

because i will if you keep up your end of the bargain. i want to celebrate.

i think i figured out the perfect potential halloween costume. the funny thing is that there are only three small items i would need to buy.

but i'd love to not need a costume come sunday ... i'd rather be reveling ...

YIPPEE!

status check - thrilled!
background ambiance - who cares?

the whole trizzy p uvm thing?

opening for howie day!

in.

status check - anxious
background ambiance - typical afternoon

it's in.
it's done.
there's nothing else i can do to change things or better my odds.

which means, naturally, that i'm going to be thinking about the damn thing for about three weeks - going nuts the entire time.

why did i never get that whole "wait and see" thing down? was there some lesson i missed along the way that taught everyone else to be patient and trust in that which they've already done? if so, i most certainly was missing in action for it.

but it's done and in -- that alone says something. i was able to pull it together and send it out - every necessary piece included.

so now i wait.

and, yes, agonize.

the trizzy p connection

status check - delightedly surprised!
background ambiance - silence

whoa! i go from never seeing tristan live to being able to see her three times within three and a half months!

tristan prettyman - nov. 19 - university of vermont - burlington

now will certain other musicians from the same area as ms. p please take note and get their californian butts out here? hmmm????

grown-up kids

status check - good
background ambiance - sox game

sometimes you need to be able to see yourself through the eyes of someone else to realize how you should see yourself more often than you do.

spent the day showing burlington to my 11-year-old cousin chloe (not to be confused with either my dc roommate or "arcadia" character, both of the same name), while also spending some good-natured teasing time with my parents. they brought her up for the afternoon to give her the chance to hang out with me and experience a different scene than her typical way-southern vermont environment.

it was a delightful experience for all involved. chloe clearly loved hanging out with the grown-ups, and we (i include myself in the grown-up group quite loosely) got a kick out of playing around more than usual. we didn't do anything particularly spectacular - just wandered, really - but everyone was in high spirits and peppered the experience with jokes and stories.

what really touched me about the experience, however, was looking through the sunday paper while savoring ben & jerry's goodness at the scoop shop. i was showing my story to the folks when chloe asked if she could have the copy. later, she asked for a picture of me and said she wanted to cut out the story, mount it on paper, add the picture and show it to her friends and have it in her room.

i was touched - it was just a story about a superintendent, but she seemed so excited to see her cousin's story in the paper. and she later took my arm and told me that i'm the coolest cousin ever and that she can't wait to see me again soon. i promised her that we'd get to hang out again soon and that we'd figure out a way to get her back up to burlington to spend some more cousin time together.

i flashed back to being her age at various family reunions, fascinated by my older cousins who just seemed so mature and with it. i loved it when they'd hang out with me at these functions, playing around or asking about my life.

i never thought i'd wind up ranking in that category in someone else's eyes - let alone a young lady who's turned into quite the cool girl. i can't believe how quickly she's grown up - i can't even imagine how i'll deal with such a sensation when it's a child of my own (and i can't believe i just said that).

it was just a delightful end to the weekend - i had just wrapped up the surreal, anticlimactic experience of an alumni reunion weekend and, thankfully, was able to enjoy the surreal, unexpected experience of a family reunion afternoon.

tomorrow - sending in the fellowship application. think good thoughts.
tonight - revel in the fact that boston's up 2-0 in the world series. go sox - you're making me proud! safe travels to st. louis ...

i want candy

status check - slightly shallowly smitten
background ambiance - work

eye candy kind of crushes are the best of the bunch.

while a crush is in the eye candy stage, you don't have to think about anything. you see crush. crush looks great. you drool. crush leaves plane of vision. you resume your previously scheduled activities.

you don't worry about anything else, you don't spend hours of your life thinking about him. you just see him when you see him and don't think about him the rest of the time (with the exception being those few post-run-in moments when you wind up cryptically writing about him). stress-free, and no need to get to KNOW the person, no extensive conversation. that would ruin the fabulous relationship you have already established (that being the entirely selfish drooler/droolee relationship). when you have a perfect illusion, you don't want reality to come in and fracture the whole thing.

i know, i'm oversimplifying. E.C. (eye candy) could be - hell, seems to be - a fantastic person. incredibly cool, actually. but A) i'm shy, B) he seems quiet. and i've done the whole "get to know your eye candy" thing before. it was fun - and a hell of an ego boost - to spend time with this previous eye candy, but it wound up doing a hell of a number on the image i'd created in my mind.

so, for now, i'm just going to sit back and enjoy this view. and giggle to myself. because let's face it, no crush (no matter now shallow and self-serving) comes without at least a silent case of giggles.

oy. or ugh. either way, i need a hug.

status check - bone-weary tired
background ambiance - rilo kiley - "with arms outstretched"

this morning, i sat in a seat among people i'd never normally be around* - teachers, teachers and more teachers - to listen to my former boss give a keynote address. i thought it would be funny and tricksy of me to go with one of my teacher friends and actually take advantage of that "open to the public" caveat they always stick on at the end of event announcements - but never expect to have to put into effect.

turns out my former bossman proved even tricksier. because as i'm sitting there, playing teacher girl and whatnot, he starts talking about the game last night and specifically mentions that he's not sure if anyone read (insert my nickname and last name)'s story in the paper today, but ...

it was like dozing off in a class and jolting awake because the professor calls on you to answer a question. just freakishly unexpected. why the hell would my name come up at a teachers' convention? becca laughed that she's never seen my face that red in all the years she's known me.

had to call him on it after he spoke - it was great to be able to say hello and laugh with the fellow. i know i'm biased (as one will often be after working oneself silly for someone else), but the bossman (who will always be referred to as the bossman, even when it's been decades since i worked for him)is simply the best.

but now ... so tired. want to sleep. until next tuesday. three hours left ... i can make it.

i think.

surreal

status check - dazed, sleepy
background ambiance - "the west wing" season premiere

can't sleep. should sleep, but it's not happening yet. i'll kick myself for this in the morning, but hey. spent my wide-awake hours watching last season's season finale and this season's season premiere of "the west wing." the josh/donna thing is going to get drawn out to an absurd degree, but let's face it. we know i'm hooked on it and i'll be following it the whole way. the reference to the vermont delegation cracked me up and made me feel like i was back on my former "hey, it's the weekly sign i'm supposed to be an extra on the show" track. who knows.

like most in this so-called red sox nation (a monkier i'm still not crazy about), i still can't believe the team's going to the series, but more so, i can't believe how calm i felt watching the game. i spent six of these games talking to the television, shouting and yelling - afraid to look for parts of the games, unable to look away for other parts. and maybe it was just that i was in work mode tonight or something, but it was just happening and i felt completely certain that it would work out the way i hoped. i was quiet throughout the game, letting whichever person i was speaking to get loud and crazy enough for the both of us.

i was five the last time boston played in the world series. i don't remember much about it, although i remember just knowing that they were going to win. how could they not? they were my red sox and they had my favorite player in the entire world - bill buckner.

yep, billy b was my boy. funny to think of now.

but here i am, 18 years later, waiting for the inevitable explosion of giddiness that will occur when it really dawns on me what happened tonight. perhaps i'm being overly romantic about my particular circumstances with this game seven, but i'm just so glad i was able to write about it. i'll be clipping out this story and making sure to save it - so years from now, i can look at it and remember how it was, where i was, how i felt when that last out was recorded. sure, the story is about other people, but i was able to write about those people with my voice - so it's kind of like i was writing about myself.

simply a side of myself no one else was able to see during the game. and i like knowing that. it's a good feeling.

absolutely amazing

status check - elated beyond words
background ambiance - hoots and hollers outside

words can't begin to describe how amazing it feels to know that the red sox are heading to the world series.

and even better, they came back from 0-3, won four in a row, made history twice and, most importantly, BEAT THE YANKEES TO DO IT.

i fucking LOVE this team.

haha

status check - amused
background ambiance - live rilo kiley

one must give credit where credit is due.

Hey there,

Just a quick note about tonight's show at the Common Ground....(10/20)....

The Chad and Friends Residency beginning tonight with Ryan Montbleau has been postponed and will resume next week, 10/27, with Gregory Douglass.

The night with Ryan Montbleau will most likely be moved to 11/17, details on that evening will be available shortly.

We apologize for the last minute notice...but we do hope now that you'll be able to devote your evening to watching The Battle in the Bronx....and if things work out, Chad can be found hanging from a stop light down in Kenmore Square ... and some of those are tears of joys, and others were induced by tear gas.


-- Carlton Fisk

for those north of my favorite hipster haven town, one victoria will be watching the game from a yet-to-be-determined location. this intrepid reporter will be covering the game viewing - score!

this does, however, mean said intrepid reporter will not be available for traditional IM color commentary on the game this evening ... but be comforted in knowing that a post full of either sublime joy or extreme rage will follow the final out.

good god, this is insane

status check - elated
background ambiance - "gilmore girls"

game seven.

i couldn't even watch during that last at bat ... HURRAH!

but wow ... riot gear at a baseball game ...

aw, who cares. GO SOX!

there's a reason why they didn't call it "yankee land"

status check - peachy
background ambiance - the postal service - nothing better

someone at n+1 has come up with a brilliant suggestion. here here, i say ...

No more electoral college; no more red, blue, swing; no more U.S.A. I don’t mean to sound alarmist but this thing isn’t working. I propose 7 new states carved from the existing Republic. They can maintain a loose alliance, though without the obligation to support each other in foreign entanglements. Global dominance can now be ceded to the EU—it hasn’t gone that well for us anyway. The borders of our new states should be porous. After age 18 adults have the option of crossing the border to pursue their happiness as their political and cultural leanings compel them (how it is right now more or less, minus a failed experiment called the federal government). So, the new states:

Red Sox Nation
Composite states: Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland (including Washington, D.C.), Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Wisconsin
Capital: Boston
Form of government: Social democracy
First head of state: Howard Dean
Sox fans enjoy state-provided healthcare, free higher education, the option of gay marriage, abortion on demand, without apology, and continue to serve as the world’s leading providers of financial and media services. Budget caps are imposed on the Yankees of New York. The sanest of the new states (despite its sometimes shrill executive), Sox Nation boasts no standing armed forces of its own but controls the former American nuclear arsenal by remote control. Also, Pedro still throws pitches at people’s heads.

Nirvanistan
Composite states: California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington
Capital: Seattle
Form of government: Narco-syndicalism
First head of state: Arnold Schwartzenegger
Free of the burdens of national political ambitions, Arnold legalizes marijuana, and the cash crop revitalizes Pacifica’s economy, as the new dealers synergize with Silicon Alley to sell their grass globally.

CRINGE (Christian Republic in God’s Embrace)
Composite states: Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, and all those other currently red ones in the South and the middle, plus Alaska.
Capital: Austin
Form of government: Democratic theocracy (everybody votes for God)
First head of state: God, as told to George W. Bush
We been praying a lot and working hard. Just us folks down here, believe in God, and don’t have sex if we ain’t married. Laying off the booze, dried out the whole Republic. Damn that moonshine. Devil’s concoction. Overturned that Dred Scott decision, we did. Got ourselves a culture of life and an ownership society in these parts. How can you have a culture or a society anyway if nobody’s alive and nobody owns nothin’? Got ourselves a damn big Army too. It’s very lethal. Gonna do some drillin’ in Alaska. No harm done, just a little pinch. Need some more jobs. Workin’ on that. Real hard. Amen. (Sponsored by the people of Saudi Arabia.)

Florida
Composite state: Florida
Capital: Tallahassee
Form of government: Gerontocracy
First head of state: Bob Graham
Populated by retirees from Sox Nation and CRINGE, Florida is a welfare state offering a free medicinal prescription drug benefit subsidized by its neighbors to the North.

SWEAT (Southwestern Esteemed Aged Territory)
Composite states: Arizona, New Mexico
Capital: Phoenix
Form of government: Straighttalkocracy
First head of state: John McCain
Much like Florida, but with more of a cowboy aesthetic. And free drugs.

Nevada
Composite state: Nevada
Capital: Las Vegas
Form of government: Casino
First head of state: Donald Trump
Gambling, hookers.

--Christian Lorentzen

i'm realizing just how lovely it can be when you get re-hooked on an album you haven't listened to in a bit. "give up" has been spinning throughout my travels all day and i couldn't be more pleased.

and on a jenny-lewis-can-i-be-her-for-just-one-day-please note ... a mp3-ed recording of the somerville show is posted on rilokiley.net. (go to multimedia). i downloaded it last night and felt like i was right back in the somerville theater, singing along to "a better son/daughter" at the top of my lungs with a smile on my face ...

thanks to the red sox, i won't be able to be particularly productive this evening - again ... but it will be worth it if the idiots continue to cowboy up. go sox!

i could get used to this

status check - elated
background ambiance - "the daily show"

ortiz pulls through again ... and it's now 3-2.

GO SOX!

"stop hurting america"

status check - impressed
background ambiance - "crossfire"

so ... i was offered tickets to friday's "crossfire." i said no, as A) neither beth nor i are particular fans of the show B) i was staying away from journalistadom C) "crossfire" on a friday evening? c'mon ...

little did i know that jon stewart was the lone guest that day. little did i know jon stewart would BLAST the hosts. and otherwise just flatout kick some ass.

check out the video ... it's incredible. so incredible that i'm kicking myself just the tiniest bit for saying no to attending a show that normally just pisses me off. and only because i think jon stewart is brilliance and i'd picked up rolling stone the day before strictly because he was the cover story (which, by the way, you should read. and then read the fantastic piece about the journalist who goes undercover as a bush volunteer in orlando).

back to normal

status check - tired (i lovingly blame the red sox
background ambiance - west wing dvd

it's about time boston showed up for this series ... yes, the odds are historically against the red sox, but come on. 1918 ... everything has been historically against the red sox for years. and it made for such a fun second half of the game to watch. well done, boys of autumn ...

now, however, i must turn to getting back into the normal swing of things. a pity, really, as i enjoyed the best reality-suspended weekend in washington. with the exception of a mad-cap dash to our boarded airplane yesterday morning (that we came just about as close as humanly possible to missing thanks to security at reagan), the three days in dc were more delightful than i could have imagined. everything just balanced out beautifully - plenty of time to roam the city, see the sights and wear out our legs, but balanced with low-key chill time that often left me so content i felt little inkling to do anything else. beyond the realization that we would have needed to buy tickets for another flight and still return to vermont in the end, i would have been perfectly fine with staying in dc longer.

it was a realization that surprised me, as i was nervous about making the trip - all the more so upon seeing the pristine landmarks glowing in their nighttime illumination as our plane descended thursday night. it was my return to washington after a less-than-powerful exit over a year before. as i told beth, "i don't mean to be, but i'm a passive-aggressive bridge burner. and now i'm returning to the scene of some major arson." it was new territory, returning to old stomping grounds.

but everything was just right. j, our dc hostess, is more of a treat to get to know the more i get to know her. i was able to see the people i'd wanted to see from my dc days and realized how much i've missed them. i was able to see some of the people i was terrified of seeing and realized how well i'm doing and that at least some of the bridge burning existed mostly in my mind. beth and i had the opportunity to see the city and just have fun being alternately savvy and silly. everyone seemed to have a great time during the "big" moments - exploring the kennedy center, sitting in the house gallery or gazing at the wwii memorial - and the little - sitting at a window counter sipping lattes and eating bites of pastries or laughing with chloe and beth as we enjoyed cocktails in adams morgan.

and i went full circle from my first trip junior year, when i traveled to the newseum and saw the wall of front page news. this time, rather than thinking how cool it would be to see my work on that wall, i had my picture taken while standing next to the front page of my paper - my byline there to see.

i felt the energy that had filled me during those actf visits and left me as i lived in the city. it confirmed for me that i do love washington - i adore it, really. but with that realization came another, that i made the right decision to leave it when i did. who knows how i would be now, had i stayed there. but i don't think i'd be as happy as i am now, had i remained. the timing wasn't right.

but i still love it. which felt grand to realize.

WE LOVE YOU POPI!

status check - after five hours
background ambiance - and two minutes

to the bad red sox fan holding the sign bashing the team in the sixth inning ... HOW ABOUT THAT HOME RUN, HUH?

thank you, david ortiz, for that gorgeous shot to right field ... and allowing me to go to sleep.

.

status check - exhausted
background ambiance - silence

and i'm back.

leavin on a jet plane

status check - excited
background ambiance - typical

and i'm off.

save the gaiety!

status check - barely conscious
background ambiance - phones

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i have no problems with mornings - that is, once i'm used to them. as resident night girl, i'm never at work this early.

as a result, i'm yawning as i fight the urge to nod off. and i'm starting to think perhaps a few shots of espresso would do me good.

but something did wake me up and grab my attention ... a phoenix story about the gaiety theatre in boston. or, i should say, a story about plans to demolish the gaiety. i've walked by the building countless times during my trips to boston and never even knew what i was walking by ... it makes me want to cry to read about what the city wants to do. honestly. anyone with an appreciation for theater should be horrified by this plan.

especially when you find out more about what the gaiety was in its heyday ... and what remains now. the group fighting for the theater's preservation has a website certainly worth visiting. please check it out.

ok, back to nodding off ... five hours of work left before three days of play.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

state of the union

status check - amused
background ambiance - scanners

is it telling that i was just standing in front of two side-by-side televisions in the newsroom. on the left? red sox/yankees. on the right? kerry/bush.

all my attention, however, is focused on the left tv. osama bin laden could be dancing around behind the candidates and shaving his head and you still couldn't get me to not pay attention to the game.

washingTONS to do

status check - frazzled
background ambiance - silence

it's amazing how some trips or activities stretch out before you in the distance and never seem to get any closer so you can embark on them.

then there are the trips when you realize, "oh jesus, i'm leaving tomorrow, but before i go, i've got to do this and this and this and oh yes, that too."

my impending long weekend in dc is definitely one of the latter. it hasn't fully dawned on me that i'll be on a plane tomorrow evening. i just got off the phone with a lunch-break beth and we both commented on how it doesn't feel like we're embarking on the much-discussed, much-delayed, finally-booked trip in less than 30 hours.

i have so much i need to accomplish before i go ... so much that it's all swimming in front of me and i'm starting to convince myself that i won't be able to get it all done. last night was a low-stress work evening - tonight will likely be frenzied, with sneaking glimpses at the game mid-interview phone calls.

but i just need to breathe, cross each completed task off my to-do list in a systematic manner and make sure to say "no" when it starts to look like too much. and enjoy getting excited about this trip that still seems so surreal.

ooh, and find my smartpass. i should still have a chunk of commuter money on that sucker.

nail-biter ...

status check - on the edge of my seat
background ambiance - red sox/yankees game

running commentary during the latter portion of the game. key: v=me, j=joey.
***be warned, a whole slew of expletives follow, mostly on my part. i get riled up during sox games***

v: last year, they lost to boston first game and wound up winning ...
YEAH KEVIN!!!!!
v: I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!
j: WE HAVE 2 AT HOME!
v: TWO RUNS!
j: YAH!
...
j: COME ON TROT... HIT A HOMER!
v: YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!
j: I'll take it!
v: COME ON JV!!!!!!!
v: favorite player of mine!
...
j: GGGGGGGOOOOOOO
v: AAAAHHHH!!!!
j: WOO HOO!!!
v: I LOVE YOU JV!!!!
...
v: only 3 runs away!
j: 4 :-)
v: i'm looking for the tie right now - not asking too much too soon!!!
v: baby steps
j: lol, I learned last season that ties only lead to extra inning heartaches and a hangover the next day!
v: LOL - i'm happier with an extra inning heartache than no need for a bottom of the 9th heartache!
j: touche
v: FOCUS ON THE FUCKING BATTER!!!!!
j: I'm not digging Embree's facial hair, but if he keeps the Yankees down to no runs this inning, I'll make myself love it
v: haha - rock it. much like millar's billy goat beard. it amuses/annoys me, but i love him too much to slam it too bad.
...
v: C'MON MANNY!
j: come on Manny! hit a homer
v: AAAAH!
v: C'MON POPI!
j: DAVID, HIT ANOTHER HOMER!!!
j: just like in the last game!
j: I want another one of those right now!
j: because I was in the car for it last time, but if he does it now, I will see it first hand
j: GGGGGGOOOOOO
v: aaaah!
j: WOO HOO!!! I'll take it!
j: YEAH!!!
v: I LOVE YOU POPI!!!!!!
j: gosh that was close to a home run though!
v: i love torre's face even more
v: sooooo close
j: I know
v: we lucked out big time
...
v: i hate you derek you fucking pussy bitch
j: lol
v: but i love you johnny!
v: i love you orlando!
j: I've never heard you talk like that about anyone!
v: jeter deserves it. the little sleezy bitchy girlie fucker
j: oh, I completely agree... I just have never heard you talk like that about anyone before
j: if I am going to hear it out of you though, Im glad it's about Jeter
v: haha - no one fucks with my red sox and gets away with it without a verbal lashing
v: a-rod's not much better. little diva wanker
v: ooh, look at me, i'm making $25,000 a swing ...
...
j: NICE V!
v: BASE HIT!
v: that's my boy
j: woo hoo!!! :-)
v: EEEEK!
v: C'MON MUELLER!
j: do it again!
j: let's beat them at their home field
v: this is killing me.
v: hit it, get on base, johnny'll redeem himself ...
v: i can't look
j: you? I have to get up for work in 6 hours
v: HAHAHA
j: DAMN
alternacoustic: MOTHER FUCKER!
j: well, at least I can go to bed now...
v: ok, they'll have game 2, 3, 4, then 5
v: it's so schilling can redeem himself.
j: but damn it I am bummed
v: we've got the rest of the series
j: I just want to state that I have been saying that we would take the series in 5 games! now I can mean it
j: we're winning the next 4!

xoxo

status check - amused
background ambiance - scanner

i don't know what i find funnier - that rilo kiley is mentioned on "gilmore girls" or that rilo kiley is mentioned on "gilmore girls" and i have a phone call and IM alerting me to this fact three minutes later.

spirited

status check - lovely
background ambiance - same old

it's a self-indulgent tuesday.

i'm feeling relaxed and confident today, dressed for both style and comfort as i attack the first tasks in my apparently low-stress day. i woke up late (well, fine, this is typical as of late) and spent my conscious pre-work hours enjoying season one of "the west wing"* and doing a little shopping/wandering on church street during a gorgeous autumn early afternoon. i've treated myself to a few superfluous purchases based on nothing other than the fact that i wanted them. i've capped it all off with a speeder and earl's grasshopper (white chocolate, espresso and mint).

among the previously mentioned purchases? a rose-colored velvet blazer and a new red sox hat to replace the one i was given one late-childhood christmas. it doesn't fit, so i haven't worn it in years - i realized today that it was to remedy that. i was amused to discover a small horde of people in the sporting goods store, all clamoring for a boston cap and heckling the one brave soul interested in buying new yankees headgear.

i picked out my selection and scoffed as the salesman asked if i wanted a bag. hell no, i only needed a garbage recepticle in which to place the tags and stickers. i planned on walking out with the purchase snugly placed on my head, thank you. and, upon doing so, i immediately walked into a number of walk-bys greetings and smiles from my boston bretheren. it was a huge surprise to me, as i'd just walked the same street minutes before and seen only a smattering of red sox gear. on my post-purchase travels, i've graciously received compliments on the hat and remarks of "can't wait for tonight!" after buying my hot caffeinated bevarage, i had the door to the coffeeshop held open for me by a charming fellow wearing a boston hat of his own. he had held the door for the older woman leaving before me and remained at the doorman perch for longer than most would consider necessary, letting me pass through the doorway unencumbered. he smiled as i said thank you, replying that he wouldn't hold the door for a yankees fan.

i'm preparing to watch tonight's game from the office, cheering with my mini wally the green monster beanbag purchased for me at the lone sox game i was able to attend this season. i've been reading interviews, analysies and articles about the game and the series matchup, and i'm determined to get today's work done early so i can spend much of the evening roaming between my desk and the televisions.

the only thing that would make it better would be going to a bar to watch the game ... a funny realization to make considering i'm not generally one to watch sporting events in such an environment. but i'm hoping to come up with a way to do so at some point this series.

ah, how i adore october game days in new england ...

*

status check - awake
background ambiance - washing machine

actually, he is.

(note: there's a link! interactivity! click on the title!)

wheeling along

status check - contemplative
background ambiance - "the west wing" - season one dvd

i bought a new piece of luggage today. the professional-looking yet incredibly versatile rolling carry-on. small enough to forgo the fears of checking luggage that will be resultingly lost in transit, large enough to hold a long weekend's worth of clothing, books and other necessities.

the power in this single piece of travel gear is deceptively intoxicating. for the past year and a half, my new england travel patterns have required little more than my bright orange ll bean backpack, left over from my college days. i haven't needed anything else - just throw the backpack in the backseat of the car and hit the road.

sure, such a backpack contains the potential for enjoyment, but a rolling carry-on represents travel beyond a car. it hints at airports, beverage carts and tray tables locked in their full and upright positions. it is just asking for staircases, concrete cracks and cobblestones.

i utilized a different carry-on on a regular basis during my various times in dc. during actf festivals, i cursed the luggage as it skipped and jumped on the sidewalk while i searched for my hotel. i was tempted to kick it junior year, but i'd already nearly broken my toe the night before the trip, so such a vicious attack would have hurt me far more than the witless luggage.

a couple of years later, i cursed the same piece of luggage as it refused to cooperate with the cobblestones of union station. time and time again, i tried to get it to understand - cobblestones meant trip home. it didn't get it.

my preparation of this vacation in washington leaves me feeling far more opimistic. i finally have a new carry-on. the idiotic earlier version has been thrown away and i couldn't be happier to see it go. this carry-on? strong and obedient, complete with a push lock handle and an zipper-concealed expansion feature that will cater to my slightly larger-than-expected packing needs. i've already tested this piece with the gravel in my driveway - it lived up to the lofty expectations i have placed on it. it will serve me well in dc and for the trips to come in the (hopefully) near future.

i'm sitting here, wondering what i'll pack in it, what i'll bring with me for my return to the mid-atlantic. how it will help me present myself on this first trip back - and what i'll pack in it for the return trip less than a week from now.

this new piece of cloth, plastic and metal holds infinite possibilities for its new, excited owner.

minor chords, major lifts

status check - content
background ambiance - tv pundits analyzing the debate

extreme lows were followed by mercifully extreme highs this evening. thanks to the red sox for making me jump up and down in the middle of the newsroom this evening ... i made myself (and everyone left in the office by that time) laugh at my giddiness. the one time i'll be happy to see something california return to the west ...

the red sox revelry was followed up by teitur at uvm ... talk about feeling like i stepped into a time warp. free show at a college lounge area, everyone sprawled out on couches and chairs while the guitar guy (this time armed with two bandmates for some songs) was his own goofy self onstage ... i was having crazy flashbacks to the howie days.

teitur was great - songs with pianos make me happy. songs with a harmonium make me even happier. hearing "i was just thinking" and "poetry & aeroplanes" brought me joy, while "great balls of fire" cracked me up and impressed me at the same time. he's on tour, fancy tour bus and all. see him when the bus roles into your town.

as for the lows ... well, let's just say that i'm working my ass off. and the one thing i hate more than being ignored is being lied to. but i've been following through with my vow to stick up for myself, so i'm not going to take no for an answer when it comes to something that just makes sense.

i am arts girl - hear me roar.

this could not be any more perfect

status check - impressed
background ambiance - rilo kiley - "the frug"

it's time to put together the clips, get a letter of recommendation and make myself look brilliant.

yes, folks - i am applying for a fellowship. an absolutely heavenly one, at that. theater. 11 days. california.

wish me luck.

fatigued

status check - slightly tired
background ambiance - back to usual

i'm just tired of having to grin and bear.

i shouldn't have to. i'm not going to.

p.s.

status check - amused
background ambiance - still silent

averi - 11.6 at the pickel barrel on killington.

i think we should go and rock out. why? look at the date. since i can't do anything the wednesday before due to work, i say we have a blast at an averi vermont show. bwahahaha.

yes, i know i just went off on a tangent the other day about the band, but let's face it - i can wish whatever i want and be sad about aspects of it, but it's not going to change things in any way. so i can just stop listening or i can deal and be slightly cynical. and we all know what option i'm selecting.

anyway, from last year's archives ...

hey, my birthday is in a little over a week - if anyone wants to book averi to help celebrate my 23rd, go nuts!

i've wanted to celebrate my birthday with an averi show for two years now, i'm not going to pass it up when the opportunity presents itself.

however hypocritical it may make me.

i'm ready to go ...

status check - content
background ambiance - silence

rilo kiley - great note on which to end the minibreak. as to be expected, about half the set was comprised of tracks off "more adventurous," but that was fine by me - hearing some of those tracks live actually made me like them more, so that's a bonus. of the previous two albums, the only song i'd really hoped to hear live and didn't was "with arms outstretched" - not half bad to wind up with one wish unfulfilled.

i thought "a better son/daughter" would be the highlight of my night, but it turned out to be the surprise (to me) inclusion of "pictures of success," the song that made me an avid listener. i happily sang along and thought to february when jenny got to "and they say california is a recipe for a black hole, well i say i've got my best shoes on, i'm ready to go ..."

it was funny - blake had this gorgeous large guitar, almost a sea-foam green, a little country flair going on with it. i've seen a guitar that looks just like it before - although blake seemed slightly more size-appropriate (scary, considering the fact that blake's hardly a big guy). nice to see a guitar like that's actually getting some play time ...

the size of the crowd amazed me ... so many people there, singing along with every word. i can't think of anyone among my normal group of friends who regularly listens to rilo kiley, let alone shares my enthusiasm for the band. felt great to be among people who got as much out of the music (if not more at times) as i did ...

now exhausted and with tired legs (i haven't walked this much since dc - for the most part, i liked it), i drift to sleep. rest up for the trip back and work in the afternoon ...

peppy

status check - awake
background ambiance - silence

yeah, it was a little dorky. but i don't care. i had a wicked fun time at the red sox pep rally last night at fenway. wound up five rows from the red sox dugout/NESN stage and was cheering and waving a towel like it was my job.

what can i say? when you're born and bred a red sox fan and you have the chance to let your team know you're rooting for them AND spend time in fenway park, you do it - no questions asked.

about halfway through the rally (which was broadcast on NESN), i received a voicemail. my father, saying "hey, you put your jacket on!" they had seen me several times throughout the show.

i found it funny. much as i did when dropkick murphys busted into a cover of "dirty water." i started cracking up ...

in other news. rilo kiley tonight. little more needs be said.

alas, seth cohen was MIA

status check - interesting
background ambiance - inflatable mattress, well, inflating ...

god forbid i leave you without something to read during your workdays ... reliable - that's the kind of service you've come to expect - and i've come to provide - with victoria publishing. we aim to please.

so. sooooo, even. interesting experiences today all around. in this episode, our heroine embarks on a search with her punk brother and a touring guitarist, basks in the sunshine of boston common, misses bonding with a "rock star" over our mutual love of caffeinated goodness by five minutes and finally realizes the shift in her attitude about a long-loved band. to top it all off, she winds up sharing probably too much information about it all with her readership.

yep. i was busy. i suppose it would be smartest to start at the beginning of the list and work my way through. i have a feeling this will be a long one. prepared? feel free to grab a drink or something before you start. i'll be here when you get back.

ok, we're all set now? let's go.

after meeting up with my brother (always a high point to any boston trip) and enjoying vegetarian goodness (delightedly per normal), i thought i'd be smart and find the roxy ahead of time, as i had never been there before. figured having the navigationally savvy tom with me would be a bonus. except for the fact that the roxy is one of the most discreetly labeled places i've encountered. which means we walked right by it without realizing.

pondering our next course of action (and cursing tremont for turning sharply at a corner - the corner of tremont and tremont? honestly now ...), we encounter a guy wearing a very gavin degraw-esque newsboy-like cap, looking confused. he asks if we know where the roxy is ... and he joins our search party.

through chatting, i learn that the cap is there for good reason. he's gavin degraw's guitarist and he's trying to get to the roxy for soundcheck. i laugh inside, temporarily banish my cartman voice and instead ask how the touring's been going and whatnot. very nice guy. ultimately, we turn in a complete block and get back to just before where we all met up - lo and behold, the roxy's right there. whoops. he asks if we're coming in, i decline, since i'm sure my brother wouldn't have been keen on joining a pop-rock fest. instead i get to introduce tom to honeydew iced coffee and we chat while lying on the grass in the common during a glorious early autumn day. works for me.

so after leaving the brother type and enjoying dinner, i head to the roxy. since i don't want to be there too early and just stand around waiting for the doors to open, i decide to get coffee. i walk back up tremont, right into an unrecognized or unacknowledged walk-by from the averi guys, get my starbucks and return to the line of gavin degraw fans that stretches down two full blocks. girls in front of me freak mere minutes later when their friends arrive and announce that they just met gavin at starbucks, where he was "so normal, just getting a cup of coffee. he's hotter in person." i snicker (see beth? i can snicker, too).

ultimately i get into the venue, get the first of a couple of $7.50 drinks (which made me think how right dennis was that night at metronome) and enjoy the show. order: tristan, averi, walter, gavin. for sake of not going back and forth between the performance list, i'm mixing up the order of my descriptions. c'est la vie - just figured i'd provide warning.

tristan - great. very short set (five songs, i believe? "evaporated," "guest check," "toxic," "love love love," "better"), but she was on and i'm definitely enoying her performance. people next to me are rude during the set, but that is their problem. i'm just singing along.

walter - when a tall professional basketball player starts busting out a cover of "she will be loved," he's got my attention. the best part is that he would make maroon 5 proud. i'm quite impressed with his set, very impressed with his voice.

(did you notice that, after the first paragraph of this story, i switched from past to present tense? that, dear reader, is an attempt to make sure you're right there with me in the reading process. see? i want us to be on the same page here.)

gavin - i don't quite know what to do with myself. it's my third time seeing him perform, although i did leave about three songs in back in june. i'm not expecting much of anything - other than an early departure from the roxy. get to beat everyone else in the coatcheck line.

instead? i find that a personality has sprung up suddenly. he's mixing things up, he's adding riffs - it's no longer just listening to the "chariot" album really loud with a bunch of people around. i'm actually enjoying myself. i'm even singing along.

but i'm also feeling very out of place. because, for whatever reason, attending a gavin degraw concert is, i realize, much like winning a walk-on part on a wb drama. it's just this complete package of pretty gloss. the lights are lovely - heavy on blues and purples - and gavin somehow seems to be in very close proximity to you, even from a spot quite far back. the band tends to move right from one song to the next, and the audience is just singing along to every single word. waving arms back and forth, dancing along ... and the audience is composed of the lovely beautiful young people. everyone who wanted to be on "the o.c." or "one tree hill" is at this show and they're all rock-casual chic. abercrombie guys galore. one girl? wide-necked black three-quarter length sleeve shirt. red straps underneath, a sash to match around her waist. wearing capri cargos with camoflauge print, stillettos AND a beret. ???

i don't want to be an o.c. girl. although if adam brody happened to be here, i'd be cool with further ruining seth cohen's relationship with summer and later discussing rilo kiley or bright eyes. but he's not, so i'm just feeling awfully old. i focus on singing, doing my thing and saying hi to the people i run into - including a hi-bye conversation with chad that i begin and quickly end (the end part comes from tonight's realization. see below).

which leads me to averi's set. they perform very well. they're all locked into the same mentality and are definitely into the extended jam, which is a good call. stu and michael wail away and are fantastic (but then again, they always are). chris keeps the bass anchors steady, while matt's typical matt - just damn good.

chad's appears to have decided to gradually move away from the rhythm guitarist/singer role to the frontman role. in previous sets i've seen lately, he's gone guitarless for a couple of songs. tonight it's about a third of the set. i'm still not into it - less walking around stage, more playing, please. and do NOT do the "reach out and touch the hands of adoring fans trying to grasp at you in any manner possible." i'm laughing hysterically when that occurs.

his singing is pretty on tonight - the middle earth cold voice is long gone. my jaw drops when he starts teasing silk's "freak me" during the final song ... then i'm signing along laughingly. there's something about seeing chad perrone sing "i wanna lick you up and down til you say stop" that defies explanation. funny as hell and he knows it.

"despondent" is not in the setlist, but "flutter" is back - and he remembers the lyrics this time. bonus. "for better or worse" is sounding better each time i hear it ... something that leaves me feeling perplexed. i love the song, but i want to hate it sheerly on the basis of principle. or, rather, sheerly on the basis that i wish the change that prompted the song never took place.

whenever i've heard that song lately, it prompts me to reflect for a moment, but it really gets me for some reason tonight.

***insight into my mixed-up mind about to commence.***

while pleased to see averi doing well, i've just been really angry/frustrated/disillusioned/etc. with what i've seen over the past ten months or so. and most of it has been prompted by chad. the other guys have always been nice (for the most part) when i had the opportunity to say hi to them, but chad was the one band member i spoke without outside of the whole band thing. he was nice, funny, thoughtful - and it seemed like he wanted to get to know you when he spoke with you. he'd write emails to you to say thank you for coming to a show because it meant a lot to him to see you there.

and to top it all off, you realized that averi was the first band you were really following as they grew. you knew they'd be able to avoid the traps that other bands encounter on the way up.

he's changed - and the band's changed with him. the rest of the guys (again, for the most part) are still very nice, but chad's trying to do this whole frontman thing, rather than being a member of averi. and it seems like they're letting him. he's getting full of himself and now you realize that to him, you're just another person who will go to the shows and sing along, but also one more person to say hi and give a one-armed hug to before moving on to the next person.

now don't go saying it - i know. the more fans you have, the more people who come to a show hoping for an opportunity to say hello. the more photo requests (amusingly, with all the shows i've attended, i've never had a posed photo taken with anyone in the band), the more autograph requests, the more demand. i know this and acquiesce that some compassion needs be present from potential cynics. but there's a difference.

there's no denying the autobiographical aspect of "for better or worse" - "the person i was could go by another name, he's a stranger to me now." for a long time, the fact that those lyrics were accurate just pissed me off. i wanted him to go back - to be the nice guy i remembered and to sing for the near-overwhelmingly kind band of five unassuming guys i first heard years ago (although they could maintain the current musical growth and development).

tonight, however, i realized that i'm not angry about it anymore, just sad about the whole damn thing.

i'd love to be able to just go to an averi show, rock out and sing along, then say, "hey, cool" and not have some of the memories i associate with each song. a large piece of me wishes i'd found another band to play the benefit concert two and a half years ago, that i'd hadn't learned anything more about chad than what i would see onstage. i could have seen the band in boston at some point anyway, right? i wouldn't have had to watch it all shift.

"and i can't change things, i can't change anything, but if i could, maybe i would and maybe that's wrong."

postcard

status check - caffeinated
background ambiance - tristan prettyman, "anything at all"

hey _____! hope you're well. wish you were here - having a fun time!

xoxoxoxo
v.

for some reason, i am inexplicably drawn to morons. i should really work on that.

boston - grand.
museum of science - musical staircase was delightful, "lord of the rings" exhibit absolutely amazing. i'm an elf girl, in case you were wondering. i think i handled the potential drool factor quite well. peter jackson amazes me even more now that i know more of what went into the films ...
pre-tides - i swear i met the closest thing to zach braff without meeting THE zach braff.
tides - good set. seeing averi tonight will likely lead to the decision about my favorite area band - right now tides is poised to take over. a lot of energy - originals and three covers (in no particular order, "with or without you," "in your eyes" (stop snickering, beth) and an astounding "where the streets have no name").

my kind of month

status check - amused
background ambiance - silencio

october's shaping up to be a glorious month. i work one more day before i can hit the highways and drive my way back to the skyline i adore and the shows i've been looking forward to for weeks. with the added bonuses of a long weekend and my first excursion to the museum of science since ... i was ten years old? indeed. i remember dancing up and down the musical staircase with classmates - i'll have to fight the temptation to re-enact it.

more likely, make sure no one else is around.

all the while, i'll be covertly conducting research for the novel that will someday/perhaps/i-damn-well-hope-will be finished.

after my boston-trapsing, i return for a week and a half of work before another trip - hitting the skyways this time. it's official, i've finally procured tickets to fly to and from dc. beth and i will be making the trip down on the 14th, returning the following sunday. it'll be my first chunk of time in dc in 14 months, a statistic that i still can't quite wrap my brain around. it doesn't feel like it's been that long, but nevertheless ... i'm very much looking forward to the excursion. i'll be returning in such a better frame of mind than when i last left.

i love looking ahead when i have such exciting things to look ahead to.

p.s. i pity anyone who actually followed the debate drinking game. that would have gotten ugly real quick. but i love the fact that someone actually found this space by googling it ... brave souls at psu. hope the hangover isn't too intense ...