there has been some major work done on the mhz website, as far as their mhz persents section, anyway, including some delightful stuff from the howie show beth and i attended ... i was delighted to see some photos from the taping, such as this, this, this (my personal favorite) and this. i'm looking forward to finally being able to see the show on sunday night (yes, i'll be taping it while i enjoy the oscars) ... whoo hoo!

so, naturally, as we have less than eight hours until the war clock reaches zero, my thoughts on the war with iraq and, in particular, being in washington as we prepare for the war with iraq.

it's surreal, really -- i look out my office window as i type this and can see the washington monument in the distance and know that across the street stands the united states capitol building. i know that my boss works for the united states senate and that i am a federal employee in the very government that is preparing its military for an attack on sadaam hussein. it's difficult, because i personally do not feel that war is necessary at this moment in time and do not approve of it -- yet as the countdown approaches zero, i want to support the men and women who are actually over there at this moment in time, preparing to risk their lives -- while not necessarily agreeing with the rationale of the man who has put them in that predicament.

washington is in an odd sort of hush, i suppose you could say. it's a clash of emotions and thoughts that we have here -- in some respects, people have been so excited about the notion of spring and getting outdoors and whatnot that there is an incredible rush of energy as people walk about in lightweight sweaters or jackets with smiles on their faces. yet the second the spring starts to hit, there is also the increase of security and precautions as this war looms. the white house has blocked off pedestrian access all around it, as well as cancelling any tours it normally offers, capitol security has increased, small piles of the black duffel bags (containing safety hoods) catch one's eye in the senate restaurant more than the red linen napkins and flowers on the tables do. each of us within the office are making sure to keep our IDs on us at all times in case we have to evacuate the building. as of tomorrow, i will be carrying my camera with me at all times with the hopes of capturing some of the images i've seen during my day-to-day travels and plan on jotting more phrases and random observations in my trusty notebook.

as i left work yesterday afternoon and began walking to union station, i could hear voices shouting and the mechanical din or a bullhorn coming from ahead of me. as i approached, i saw bodies perched upon the christopher columbus fountain, arms frozen in the air, sheets spraypainted with protest slogans lofted into the air. "no to war with iraq." "peace is the way." a twenty-something girl shouted into the bullhorn about how we needed to join together and show the president that he was not leading america into war because the american people have no desire to go into that war. the president is dragging the people into battle.

people stood around the fountain, squinting in the glare of the late afternoon sunshine as they looked up at her -- other protest-types with the stereotypical long hair and sandals, businessmen and -women obviously on their way home like i was who had stopped along the way -- some to listen, some to call people on their cells. a small number of people showed their silent support by holding their right hand in the peace sign.

this is part of what will become daily life here now ... and one must wonder if the man in the pond is going to become a fixture as well! you would not believe how much this guy is messing with the city ... it's so ridiculous and adds to the circus-like dynamic of the place. oh, nevermind -- turns out he surrendered!

i'm personally not at all worried about my safety or anything like that -- i know some people have asked about whether i'm scared to be in dc or how i'm handling it and whatnot. the same as anything else -- waking up, going to work, working, then going home or whatever for the night. again, as was the case during sniper season, i'm not going to let things change my experience -- although i admit i'm watching msnbc a bit more now so i can keep updated and all. yeah, dc can be seen as a "target" for attack, but it's also one of the safest places to be, all things considered. especially working where i do in the city! they're not going to let anything happen to us, let me tell you.

i guess the biggest thing is that it makes me realize how important my friends and family are to me. so, as things prepare to get all sorts of shaken up in this crazy world (i know, i sound like i walked off the set of "casablanca" with that one), know that i'm thinking of you fondly and hope you are feeling as safe and secure as possible in your various locations. whether i talk to you all the time or on rare occasion (or you're a reader i just don't know about that i might not have even met, in which case, well, hi!), know that i send you love and keep you in my heart.

n.c. truck driver continues standoff on mall

it's true -- this guy is royally messing up things for everyone hoping to travel around that area. and, while we now understand the whole possibility of explosives thing and whatnot, everyone was wondering what the hell the deal was with the tractor still being in the pond this morning. talk about randomness ...

washington is interesting in prewar times. i think i'll try blogging this evening about it a bit -- no time at work today.

IMing at work while i have a major case of itching-to-get-outdoors-spring-fever:

v: i've decided that congress should move outdoors today and know how we can figure out the estrada mess. big game of red rover -- dems on one side, republicans on the other. nice and easy -- plus fits with the estrada "hi i'm on a milk carton" theme of the entire nomination process.
e: well there's an idea
v: this is what spring fever does to me :-)
e: i've decided that congress should move to Baghdad...but I like your idea better.

in fine tradition ...

top o' the mornin to ya! sure and begorrah it warms the cockles of me heart to hope that you and yours have a fabulous day o' the irish!

ah ... st. patrick's day. one of my favorite holidays -- not just because of the typical copious alcohol consumption, thank you! i'm over half irish, so i enjoy the opportunity to celebrate an irish holiday -- despite the fact that it's been almost entirely changed into just an excuse to be drunk at all hours of the day. but even that's fun -- it's so bizarre to be sober and kicking off a full workday, considering that the past three or four years, i've been waking up, heading somewhere to drink and then either floating through the day in an intoxicated state or finding my classes all the more interesting because of my inhebriated state ... damn you, responsibility!

st. patty's was one of my favorite days last year (one of my favorites in a year of favorites ... ah, nostalgia). waking up early in the morning to try to grab a spot in line at what ales you, only to realize we were too late in getting there, so stopping at dunkies for drinks to warm us up and hopping into line to get into riras when it opened up at 9 ... drinking at the bars all morning (guinness for those who can drink beer, long island iced teas for myself and becca), then going back to campus and frolicking, whether it be in the 300s or back at the 2s. just being silly and having fun, enjoying the feeling of being twenty-one years old, in college and free to do whatever i wanted ...

and now, a year later. twenty-two years old, out of college and on my own, granted stuck in an office all day, but still happy and able to do whatever i want, in many respects. it's just crazy to think that a whole year has gone by ...

but nevertheless. i'm wearing my green, i have my hair in little pigtails of sort, i have a green carnation beside me (kevin rocks). and it's warmer outside (with the drizzly air, it's almost muggy -- how wonderful is it to be able to notice humidity? I LOVE HEAT!!!!!!!!) and things are good. hurrah!

so happy st. patty's! enjoy yourself!

i just submitted my first freelance review.

hopefully i'll get at least some form of a response. all i want out of this one is a "hey, keep on submitting." that would lift me above and beyond happiness.

fingers crossed ...

oh yeah, i finally found a radio station i can get from my apartment that plays vickie-like music (well, relatively speaking). !!! 104.1. any others i should know about?

ok, after the excitement of a delightful weekend and the huge weight lifted off my shoulders by submitting my review, i'm exhausted. time to get everything set for work tomorrow and then collapse into bed. sleep by 10:30? ooh, that would be nice.

beth -- i'll call tomorrow night!

my review is finished -- for the most part. i wrote all i intended to write today and plan on polishing and creating more of a coherent lead and final graf tomorrow after i have some time to be away from the beast. yay! beth, expect a phone call from the metro in a lil bit!

i don't know why, but around 7ish, i felt this huge rush of energy and a need to get everything done NOW so i could be on time to get to this show. i don't know what the deal was -- but this huge anticipation was luring me. it's not like it's a big deal or anything -- i'm just going to a concert like i've done a million times in the past. it's not as if i'm likely to even see anyone i know at the venue -- so why was i all rushed and flustered (but in a good way)? i suppose i'll just chalk it up to it being a spring-like saturday evening, having a ticket waiting for me at will call and a singer/songwriter scheduled to entertain me in a couple of hours, as well as the possibilities a night out possesses -- who knows who i will meet, what i will see, yadda yadda? and, in some respects, the added thought of going to the show on my own -- yes, there's the possibility that colin might wind up there to check out mason, but it seems doubtful -- fills me with anticipation. the mraz thing kind of blew up in my face last time (but certainly worked out well for me in all in all -- hi paul!), but that was also a weeknight, where i was so busy getting out of work and getting to the venue that i didn't have time to think about it. going to a show on my own is kind of neat, in its own sort of way. i mean, granted, it's always better to know that there will be someone familiar there to talk to and whatnot, but i'm rather proud of myself, in my own dorky way. i'm being proactive, dammit! assertive and strong ... yeah, i know. cue destiny child's "independent women" and all that. but i think it's something a lot of people wouldn't do on their own because of that fear of standing around without someone to talk to. and here i am, fully aware of that possibility, but looking forward to the alternative.

that's it -- a goal for the night. i'm going to find a way to talk to someone i haven't met yet. it's going to happen. revel...revelrevel.

ok, time to tame the beast that is my hair and catch the metro. here goes ...

writing the review update 2
my search for lunch was very successful -- subway treated me well. mmm ...

one of my favorite howie day songs lately has been "brace yourself" -- i found a mp3 of him performing the song live with a "band" -- talk about an amazing version -- i'm in love with this song. i'm very happy that he's going to be recording his new album, because i think it's going to be amazing. i'm very pleased with how he's developing as a musician -- unlike certain other singer/songwriters who shall remain nameless ... *cough* taco stand *cough* ...

ok, so i'm settling back in to do some of this here writing. i've procrastinated enough -- chatted on the phone, gotten lunch, etc. i'm going to write this review (at least write something for it so i can polish it and submit it tomorrow), i am going to go work out a bit, then i am going to take a walk, make dinner and prepare for the mason jennings show tonight ...

ok, here comes my dopey girlie section of the post -- my hair. do i want to grow it out again or keep it short? i'm contemplating either being just growing it for awhile or trying something new ... thoughts? leave commenting love, yo ...

writing the review update 1
aurgh! i've lost the ability to write criticism! why did this have to be the show i return to writing for? it was great -- but so hard to write about! this sucks!

ok, admittedly, i struggle like this all the time when i try writing reviews. but it's still hard -- and it's so nice outside and i'm tempted to go outside and find something to do ... i always try to find ways to procrastinate when i write reviews. it's a way of torturing myself, i suppose ... postponing the inevitable writing that comes to me at random points. it's waiting for the points to arrive that sucks. but, nonetheless, it always comes ... this makes me remember the writing process in the past -- lounging in spencer's room at actf, drinking my screwdriver and laughing as alex freaked over his writer's block -- me asking the room how to spell "durge" and asking if a funeral durge was an adequate way of describing the music at romeo and juliet. sitting in my dorm room at conn college, staring at the blank computer screen (blank because every time i'd start to write something, i'd get pissed off and erase it, freaking out that i would never finish the review or, worse, i'd finish it and oversleep the next morning and not be able to hand it in in time, thus ruining my chances of impressing linda winer. choosing instead to sit on my bed, listen to some dave while i munch on my box of frosted shredded wheat ... hearing the knock on my door at 1 a.m. while trying to write an actf review as jenny slept (because whenever i was back in my hotel room, jenny was asleep, so i would sit in the uncomfortable wooden chair at the kitchen table) and jumping for the opportunity to order late night chinese with rhiannon, who figured she wouldn't make any headway with her review until at least 2:30 or 3 anyway, so why not do so with a content and full stomach? then, later, sitting outside the hotel with rhiannon, wearing our pajamas as we lounged on the warm concrete walkway, chowing on lo mein and cursing daniel, who had already written most of his review and had decided to check out the bar scene a bit as a way of rewarding himself, fully aware of the brilliant wit he had dashed off in his latest piece, baiting us with the fact that he had made a twinkies analogy that made complete sense.

aurgh. it's a process, it always is a process, and it's one of those processes where you have to focus and think and throw things out and beat yourself up in order to squeeze out the proper words and descriptions. writing criticism is the one form of writing where i agree with a literary quotation i read somewhere -- it's something like "writing is easy -- you just stare at the blank paper until you sweat blood onto the page. and that blood is your writing." granted, i'm paraphrasing, but that's the basic idea. and that's how it is. which very well could be why i enjoy it so much -- it's not easy, and you never know if what you're putting out there is brilliant or utterly wretched. you'll never really know, no matter who you have to discuss it with -- a small group of fellow college critics, established critics (for instance, my o'neill experiences with linda, dan and the michael's -- phillips and feinstein) or a friend you beg to read your work. it's so subjective there's no way of knowing if what you're writing is any "good." which is frustrating and great at the same time.

ok, enough blathering. i'm going to continue my typical writing process by thinking, pondering and, while i do so, finding myself some lunch. oy vay.

could it be? am i doing the friday five -- on friday? yes i am...

1. do you like talking on the phone? why or why not?
well, while i would certainly prefer speaking to someone in person, i don't mind the phone at all -- keeps me in touch with everyone from back home, which is obviously very important to me. but it's difficult at times to talk on the phone because the person you're talking with seems so close, in many respects, yet the reality is that they're often very far away. which can be sad. but hey, the phone is better than nothing!

2. who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
technically, the person who just left a message for kevin. but for MY phone calls, my parentals, before i crashed into the land of slumber at an ungodly early hour last night.

3. how many telephones do you have at home?
me personally? two -- my regular, land phone and my cell. but in the apartment when we have three tenants and we all have cells? that would make six (three land, three cells) plus the kitchen phone, so seven. good lord.

4. have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? what happened?
hahahaha -- do you KNOW what i do for a job? of course -- and all i can say is that expletives were frequent and a question about job requirements for working in my office was asked of me, which i refused to answer.

5. would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? why or why not?
it's a double-edged sword. at times, i just want to hear the person's voice, so give me phone any day. but there are other times when i make more sense through my writing, so email or a letter is better for me. gives me a chance to ramble and sort through some of my thoughts and make more sense. there are pros and cons to each.

excitement! friday! weekend!

i was exhausted last night, so literally was doing my before-sleep reading last night at 10, probably well on my way to dreamland by 10:30. the early to bed, later to rise (as today was a 9 a.m. day) method worked fabulously, as i was ready and raring to go upon waking up this morning (well, relatively speaking, as i'm neither ready nor raring to go in the early a.m. hours). the combination of a number of factors -- it being a friday, having a good amount of work that i planned on accomplishing in the office today, the coming spring (despite it being chillier than anticipated today), having what i regarded as a particularly snazzy ensemble to wear to work (including my swinger shoes, which always put me in a good mood), the possibility to attending a play this evening and fun plans for the rest of the weekend -- gave me a pulse of energy that has been lacking this week, as i've been attempting to balance a seesawing pattern of feeling very hyper, then exhausted for the past few days (more on that shortly).

and, upon arriving at work, things only improved. it's finally nice and warm in the office (actually, i should say it is more like a sauna in here -- i commented to corey that we should start providing visitors with leis as they walk through the day and should put a pig on a spit for the luau we must be preparing for -- but i certainly prefer it to be a little too warm than too cold -- i have more energy this way) and, sorting through the piles of tour requests i'm trying to organize and arrange, it dawned on me that april really is right around the corner, and i have tons to do between now and then. i need to hook all these constituents up with tours now, take care of the flag info, as well as figure out what i personally want to do between now and then. for instance, shows i want to attend, concerts i'd like to be present for -- there are more things to do now or, perhaps, i'm more inclined to partake in these events. and, when april arrives, i have a large number of things planned. my family is visiting the first weekend in april, during which we will be attending the orioles/red sox game at camden yards and enjoying the cherry blossom season. i have a becca visit to look forward to shortly thereafter, followed by a trip to vermont for easter weekend and there are a plethora of intriguing concerts and events to anticipate. as well as the fact that it'll finally be warm enough to resume wandering and exploring the city -- the possibilities of walking around adams morgan without a jacket, taking my time and observing everyone in their (and, probably, my) slightly intoxicated frame of mind ... ahhhh, i cannot wait. and it's just about here!

yeah, so my body has been carrying on a debate this week, it feels. my doctor told me that i should cut back on the exercise, so i've been trying to adhere to that, but it's a battle of will between mind and body. the times i feel as if i really need to work out, i get down to the gym and keep thinking to myself, "i'm not supposed to be doing this ..." which naturally makes the time drag and wears me out, so i don't do as much as i typically do. but if i decide i'm not going to exercise, i'm sitting there feeling as if i should -- after all, i don't want to just lounge around and do nothing. so then i feel guilty and head down to the gym, but the same mindgame ensues. so, this week, i've worked out at least a little each day, but i haven't done nearly as much as i normally do (it's usually 20-30 minutes on the crosstrainer followed by a lightninig-quick run through the weight machines -- this week it's been probably 15 minutes of some form of cardio - including the stationary bike, which always annoys me because it doesn't do much for the body and is dull if i'm not riding a bike outdoors - and light weight training), and my body has been tired (primarily because i haven't given it a day off, but also because it's not being used as much as it's used to). so tonight, i'm being good and not working out, hoping that i feel more jazzed and energized tomorrow and/or sunday. i think it'll do me good.

and i don't have to worry about feeling as if i should be exercising tonight, as i have my ticket waiting for me at the arena stage for "book of days"!!! i'm incredibly excited about going to a dc theatre event, not to mention excited about the prospect of writing my review of the play after returning home tonight. i'm determined to adhere to the review-writing process i instilled in myself at actf and the o'neill -- go home, think about it, and just write until i'm done, polish, hand/send it in. i'm also thinking about reviewing the mason jennings concert tomorrow night and doing the same thing -- i've never written an actual concert review, which could be interesting -- but i think that depends a great deal on who is at the show and how much attention i truly spend to what's going on (and how many drinks i have while i'm there, i'll honestly admit). but to be determined to write again -- in the criticism sense of the word, not just the rambling i tend to do here -- fills me with the rush of anticipation that i've missed lately! two of my favorite things -- journalistic writing and theatre! hurrah!

so, needless to say, i'm psyched. the weekend looks promising, with the play tonight, tentative plans to join co-workers at one of their houses late tomorrow morning to cheer on uvm as they take on bc on espn, the concert tomorrow night, then normal sunday relaxation/preparation-for-the-coming-week chores, with our new roommate, anita, moving in later on in the day. chloe's going to be in nyc for the weekend (lucky gal! not to mention smart -- we agreed that we should take a weekend this summer and go to nyc to see "long day's journey into night" on broadway -- we should meet up with alison!), so it'll be a busy weekend, but i'll also have relaxation if i want it -- or i can dance around and blare some music or practice my guitar or whatever i want!

yes, i am in a good mood. :-) leave some lovin!

so there's this contest at mlb.com where you write a short little ditty with the best excuses to miss work and attend opening day at various ballparks. so, naturally, i entered. i thought i'd post my entry, as i found it amusing. keep in mind, i'm going for the orioles opening day game and wrote that i'm a federal employee on the hill:

I've got a Presidential Order to attend the Orioles game on the 31st. It was really crazy, the way it happened -- I'm minding my business, sitting at my desk, when there's this rush into my office -- a flurry of dark suits, walkie talkies and other Secret Service-type of action. And suddenly, there he is, standing in front of me -- our Commander in Chief. So naturally I stand and pay him the proper respect, but he's got more pressing things on his mind than courtesy. "Vickie," he says in his accent, "you know we're in Code Orange now for National Security?"

"Yes, Mr. President," I reply politely.

"Well, I need you to show that things in Code Orange time are still safe for Americans. That the people of this country can still exist normally. I need you to help me. I need YOU to attend the Orioles Opening Day game. I need YOU in Orioles Orange during this Code Orange time."

"Yes, Mr. President," I said with courage. "That's a sacrifice I will make for my country. So be it."

ok, reading the echo today, i read the story about the greensleeves employees and, frankly, i am now craving a chopped chicken sandwich like you would not believe. next time i'm home and it's not, well, easter weekend when no one's on campus, it's settled -- trip up to burlington should include a stop at smc so i can indulge.

but, then again, there's so much to indulge in up there, now that i think about it. should it be greensleeves? hop sing? muddy's? good lord, fair burlington, you tempt me far too much sometimes. ;)

it's looking to be another lovely day in dc-town ... something to boost my energy as i rub the sleep out of my eyes this morning. the whole 5:30 wakeup time on tuesdays and thursdays is always ... taxing, to say the least.

but the coming warm weather lifts my spirits and gives me reason other than work to lure me out of my bed and apartment ... this week has been yet another example of how time seems to drag in some respects while racing by in others. it certainly feels as if i've been working a lot, as yesterday afternoon, i was convinced it was later in the week than it actually was and i felt as if i was permanently glued to my desk. but walking towards union station from work last night, i could not believe it was truly wednesday (*cue tori's song of that title*), as it felt like it had just been the weekend. not to mention that the day yesterday was gorgeous. running some errands in dirksen during my lunch break, i walked outside for a few and could not get over the hustle and bustle of constitution ave. -- suited individuals running in and out of the building, taxis pushing through the traffic, casual passersby lounging around in visors and light sweatshirts, chatting on cell phones and looking at maps. all the while, the capitol building seen in the near distance to my right -- it's amazing how i take for granted where i live and work, only to be jerked back to the reality of it all at random points of time. while i've relaxed and settled in, it's still difficult to believe most of the time that i'm actually based in washington, d.c. ... how on earth did i get here? and how is it that after joking about it and saying, "hey, wouldn't it be great if ..." here i am, actually doing it.

the elizabeth smart recovery just blows my mind. i was in utah during the initial search process last summer and it was an incredible, shocking experience. i know coverage was everywhere in the country, but in the salt lake city area, it was, understandably, insane. the day we went to salt lake city, i wound up having a conversation with a stranger about how horrible the situation was after i'd stopped to buy a newspaper. the concern and love for this girl was so apparent -- but after the two weeks i was out west, i was convinced elizabeth had been killed. to imagine that she's alive and might not have been sexually abused just amazes me. not to mention i feel a double connection to her -- having been out there while the search process was at its height and the fact that we share the same birthdate -- i'm thrilled that she's back safe and sound.

ok, so i can officially congratulate paul now on becoming an uncle! yayayayayay -- i was giddy last night when i received the news!

this weekend is shaping up beautifully -- i'm officially making my smaller venue concert debut at the mason jennings show at black cat saturday night and cannot WAIT -- i was all sorts of excited after purchasing my ticket yesterday afternoon. the music scene here is looking very good indeed -- i learned that matt nathanson will be in vienna at jammin java in april and intend to catch that show, as well as the others i have mentioned previously. ani difranco will be at the wolf trap (or whatever it's called), so there is the possibility of attending that show, as well as dar williams at the 9:30 club within the next month or month and a half. i will have to make up for "lost" time, eh? then there's the fact that i need to fly home a couple of times before mid-may so we can get my free ticket to vegas through southwest -- i believe i'm flying home easter weekend, but that leaves a random weekend that i'll have to return for -- i need to check out higher ground's listings and shows in boston to see if there's a show i'd particularly like to catch -- or i'd love to come home and take a day trip up to burlington for some muddy's/waterfront action, now that it's nice and warm and i've had some time away from the burlington area and can appreciate it more!

ah ... spring. how i've missed it!

Review: Mayer's premature 'Thursday'

WHOA AGAIN!!!!!!!!

utah teen found alive

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! that's awesome. so glad.

hahahaha -- i think i'm attending my first alumni function for smc ... a "visions" reception being held in dc in early april. good ol' uncle marc will be present and nicosia will be speaking about the iraq situation. i figure hey, why not, right? so i'm all rsvped and all that fun stuff.

i'm also trying to get to a number of artistic-type events within the coming days ... i believe i'm going to go to see "book of days" at arena either tomorrow night or friday night (i'm planning on reviewing it and submitting my review to the citypaper on a freelance basis -- see if they accept it or provide any comments on my work), and then i'm pondering the idea of seeing mason jennings at the black cat saturday night. i think it's time for me to get to a show, and i've heard great things about mason jennings (and, in fact, i'm 99.99% sure i've downloaded some of his mp3s at one point or another and enjoyed them). so yay!

i know i'm jumping the gun a bit, but CONGRATS TO PAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, to those who have been wondering when the prime cherry blossom time will be (so you can come visit me like you know you'd love to do), have i got the answers for you! according to the authorities in this particular area of study, peak cherry blossom time will be april 8 - 14.

it's funny, i'm suddenly realizing that i'm going from the land of autumn foliage to the land of cherry blossom beauty. different seasons, but same urgency for the peak time! it tickles me.

talking with beth tonight reminded me of my dream last night, which i feel a need to post, as it tickled me as well ... all i remember is that i was playing roxie in "chicago" -- i bore as close a resemblence to renee zellweger as i really can -- wearing the short silver beaded costume and singing and all that. and i remember being so delighted that i had the adorably cute short blonde bob wave hair thing going on and knew that, since i'd have the role for awhile, i'd get to keep my hair looking that cute.

and i wonder why "all that jazz" was in my head all day ... hmm ...

alright, early workday tomorrow means bed for me tonight! lots of love to my dear little readers ...

"i feel frustrated when i use i statements because i realize i just CANNOT win with i statements!"

i feel that this is the end of this post as i write this, as i have said my fill regarding this subject.

you know, i'm a girl with simple needs. for instance, i present this:

Victoria's List of Needs
(as of 3:34 p.m. on 3/10/3)
- the office to close early (yeah right)
- a nice, uncrowded subway car to ride home in
- a chance to excercise without feeling like i'm going against doctor's orders ;-)
- orlando bloom waiting for me when i get home

is that REALLY so much to ask? i didn't think so either.

it is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. so to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.
--henry ward beecher

OH YEAH! almost forgot. last night, as i was drifting into buzzing slumber (the nice, floaty, wow-i'm-feeling-great-but-so-glad-i'm-not-duuurunk kind of slumber -- come on, you know what i'm talking about), i caught the "clocks" video on mtv. it's amazing what a year or so will do to make a lead singer look a hell of a lot more attractive -- chis martin was looking quite fantastic, in his brit-rock, lanky, blue-lights-flashing-behind-his-head manner. then again, he might have gotten some of his seemingly new swagger from dating gwenyth, but i digress. i was just really really impressed by him.

haha. ashton kutcher was just on mtv. keeeeeeelllllssssoooo (i promise i'll explain this at some point soon, i just lack the ambition to do it at the moment, so go with it.)

ok, now i really am going away.

i swear i am going to start actually doing these on fridays, but i always forget. so, without further adieu, the friday five (only answered on...well...sunday...):

for march 7, 2003

1. what is the last song you heard?
howie day "sorry so sorry"

2. what were the last two movies you saw?
in the theaters? "chicago" most recently, then "lord of the rings: the two towers" -- but if we're going for last movies i saw all in all, it would be the a & e version of pride & prejudice and "almost famous" (for the ten billionth time, but i love it!)

3. what were the last three things you purchased?
as it is sunday, grocery day, my answers are all sorts of exciting. starting with the most recent and working my way back...
1) chicken with vegetables chinese takeout
2) apples (red & golden delicious)
3) a tomato

4. what four things do you need to do this weekend?
i'll answer this as far as what four things i needed to do this weekend and had as objectives.
1) get my drink on saturday night (accomplished)
2) introduce paul to the wonders of chipotle (accomplished)
3) grocery shopping (accomplished)
4) enjoy the sunshine and balmy weather (accomplished)

5. who are the last five people you talked to?
going from most recently:
1) beth
2) chloe
3) nicole
4) parentals (they're a two-for-one set)
5) becca

i suppose this might have been a bit more effective had i actually done the survey when i was supposed to ... but where's the fun in that, eh? ;-)

the sag awards tonight really surprised me -- i didn't expect the julianne moore shutout and thought nicole kidman would grab best actress (i need to see "the hours" -- note to self). i figured julianna moore would get supporting actress. the fact that the cast of "everybody loves raymond" won for comedy amazed me -- i had "will & grace" (justifiably, in my opinion) pegged for it. i'm psyched "six feet under" won for drama ensemble, even though i would obviously prefer my "west wing" cast ... chicago's going to just kill at the oscar's -- while it was clear before, it's all the more obvious now.

from what i'd been told, finding good chinese in the dc area is tricky, putting it lightly -- the city tends to have much better thai than chinese. apparently i've been really lucky -- my two chinese experiences have been killer. the first was back during actf, when rhiannon and i were going nuts with writers' block and wound up ordering at like 1 a.m. and sitting on the sidewalk outside our hotel, contentedly chowing down on our selections (i swear it was the greatest chicken lo mein ever -- but that might have had to do with the fact that we were doing everything we could to not do work ... it was a great experience nonetheless!). and then the place we ordered from tonight was fantastic -- i ordered the chicken with vegetables (carrots, onions, snow peas, baby corn, broccoli, green pepper and the like) with a light brown sauce, and i thought i'd died and gone to heaven -- PLUS they delivered within probably the span of fifteen minutes. we were in shock when the knock came at the door. bonus!

it's not hop sing, i acknowledge that -- but it's an apples/oranges type of thing. i doubt i'll ever order general's chicken down here, as hop sing cannot be topped in that area, but this was great. when the chinese craving comes along and you can find a more than adequate (quite delicious) way of satisfying said craving ... ah, bliss.

but now, i prepare for another work week. where did the weekend go, i ask? crikey ...

so i finally saw howie's "sorry so sorry" video on mtv.com and am just so amused.

first of all, i like the video more than i thought i would. and i don't necessarily think it's that i don't like the video -- i just can't get past the fact that howie now has music videos! it boggles the mind ... but nonetheless, i was thoroughly tickled to see that howie's wearing the same outfit he wore for the mhz taping/fairfax tori show (the black shirt i love and ... beth, take particular note ... the jeans! hehehe ... we're horrible. i love it).

this has just been a fabulous weekend. it's been sunny and warm for the past two days and i have adored walking around outside with my sunglasses on, warm breeze blowing the hair back from my face -- the whispers of approaching spring teasing me and adding to my sense of anticipation of delightful spring. it just makes things feel so happy -- everyone is smiling more, there's more of a bounce to people's steps and bodies and spirits are infused with positive energy. it's infectious and i cannot wait to be able to walk outdoors without a jacket, to sit in the sunshine during the days and wander the streets languidly during the warm and relaxing nights ...

but i digress. after a thoroughly delightful day and night last night, i've been relaxing today -- making phone calls, laughing with chloe about the evening's escapades (hello kelso) and doing the standard, run-of-the-mill sunday chores with above average enthusiasm. i was practically skipping up wisconsin (yes, it's wisconsin, not 355! TAKE THAT! haha) on my way to grocery shopping today. i'm silly.

i believe tonight includes the SAG awards, relaxing with chloe & nicole and take-out of the asian persuasion -- either chinese or thai. mmm ... what can i say? these kinds of days are the days everyone is supposed to have, at least from time to time. :-)

and now to the gym to burn off some energy!!!

bwahahahaha

nothing like the feeling of setting out for a night of debauchery and having debacuhury occur.

hehehehhehehe. i love the coming of springtime. what a lovely day, all in all. warm sunshine, chipotle, laughter, fun times in the evening and a fun night. i'm forgetting for teh moment the fact that it'll be colder again come monday. it's saturday night, it's warm, people are happy and i am happy. that's all that is important at the moment.

leaving love. leave love in return.

WHOOO HOOOO!

while the productions have not yet been announced (supposed to be today), the fact remains that there's a week set for ACTF action, kennedy center-style!

april 14-19 at the john f. kennedy center for the performing arts! there will be actors, there will be technicians, there will be designers and there will be CRITICS!!!!!!!!! i need to email dan and see if anyone from the old gang will be back -- not to mention that i need to email mark to make sure he'll be back! i definitely want to meet up with everyone -- only about a month and a half away! i imagine they'll hit up the shakespeare theatre again...they'd be seeing richard III, which is pretty snazzy...

i also signed up for volunteering at the shakespeare theatre free for all this summer and got a response from the person who heads that up promising to send me info in april about it and telling me to contact her with any questions and whatnot, so i'll probably give her a call next week to introduce myself. ok, so i'm going a little crazy with volunteering at the moment, but i also signed up as a potential usher at both the shakespeare theatre and arena stage. whoops! i don't know what it is, but i just feel this huge need right now to get back into the arts -- and the opportunities are there, in whatever capacity, so why not, right? :)

in honor of yesterday's doctor appointment, i present this bit of humor.

what a random day that was had yesterday ... but a good one, all in all. the randomness was/is a good thing -- much as going to the doctor is never fun (not exactly what i would select as a rockin way to spend a morning), there's such a statisfying feeling when you actually do go -- particularly when leaving the doctor's office. a feeling of satisfaction over getting checked out and feeling healthy and all that jazz. i was very fortunate to have a fantastic doctor -- i definitely want to keep him as my general practitioner (there's always that worry about having a negative experience with a new doctor and feeling uncomfortable) and whatnot ... so yay. i still hate doctors (well, going to them, not the doctors personally), but at least it wasn't as bad as it COULD have been.

the rest of the day was this odd sort of high-energy/low-energy afternoon. after walking to the office in the gorgeously balmy, spring-like weather yesterday provided (fear not, those still in the frozen north -- it's supposed to be nice and cold again tomorrow) and seeing the typical wednesday hustle and bustle on 1st st that i never experience, as i'm always at my desk, the phones were ringing steadily and i was trying to catch up, while most in the office were suffering from the "ohmigodwhatalongweekthishasalreadybeen" frustrations. it rubbed off on me a bit, but i also had a rush of "hi, i just got here for the day" energy that created an interesting little juxtaposition of adrenaline and fatigue. yes, i think everyone here is certainly looking forward to the weekend. yes indeed.

but i made it through, as i always do, and now i am happily realizing that it is thursday, which means it's almost friday, which means it's almost the weekend. revelrevel! i sense a nice, enjoyable weekend coming on, regardless of what events wind up on the radar ... i know that a chipotle introduction is in the works, which brings me joy, and there will certainly be some form of debauchery or another. not to mention i just found out that martin sexton is playing at the 9:30 club on april 7th, so i think i'm going to be able to have my introduction to all that is that club shortly before ben kweller hits the stage there on the 16th! all this, however, depends on whether i will be graced with the presence of one ms. rebecca during mid-april (WHICH I SINCERELY HOPE IS THE CASE!!!! not like i'm excited about the prospects or anything). that coupled with my tentative plans to be cultured with my roommate and see "book of days" at arena stage sometime next week makes me feel as if i'm finally taking my first steps into the dc arts scene (well, since becoming an area resident, anyway). and i have a family visit approaching in during the first weekend in april, during which we will be expanding the zone of familiar space when we take on baltimore for a red sox game at camden yards! (i suppose i should say an orioles game at camden, but let's face it -- you can take the girl out of new england, but you can't take new england out of the girl)

so let's see -- other randomness to report? not much -- just kind of getting through the week. first official performance review tomorrow morning, but i'm very confident, as i've already been told that i'm doing a great job. so that's about it -- now time to return to the phones, flags and scheduling duties that make up my day ... fun times in dc-land, i tell you...

not to mention that i know i have

i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

i hate doctors.

blech.

in other news, things are going alright -- busy busy busy, but can't complain too much. i'm talking with kevin this afternoon about my workload as of late, basically apologizing for not being able to do as much as i would like, but explaining that things are going nuts, trying to balance what is essentially two full-time jobs within the same nine-hour workday and, naturally, encountering difficulty when i try to maintain that balance (who would have thought, eh?)

but it's all good -- i'll get everything done, maintain my sanity, endure the doctor tomorrow and come out on top.

i'm going to try to make phone calls tonight to re-establish contact with the people in my life -- so expect calls!!! other than that, thanks for the love and i'm sending it right back, yo!

i am home, having had a whirl-wind weekend adventure that took me...well...from albany to vermont, back to albany, back to vermont, around the southern vermont area visiting with friends and catching up and otherwise enjoying myself, then back to albany before coming back home.

yes, there appears, as far as my travelogue indicates, to be much love between myself and albany, eh? well, not necessarily so much, but it's all good.

my second-ever tori amos concert was absolutely, no-doubt-about-it, i'm-sitting-here-while-the-faerie-like-essence-of-tori-accompanied-by-the-beauty-of-a-real-glamourous-theatre-house fantastic. talk about a sensory experience -- granted i was tired and all from last week, but i just let the whole experience wash over me in warm waves of audio and visual bliss. *sigh*

it was beautiful and nice and warm (well, above freezing) in vermont this weekend and today was a glorious day in dc. walking up wisconsin for my grocery shopping, i enjoyed hearing music filter out onto the street from open car windows and various businesses, joggers braving the city streets and the puddles of almost-melted snow, everyone walking around with coats slightly unbuttoned, sunglasses on smiling faces -- what a wonderful welcome back.

that said, i am exhausted -- still trying to catch up from last week as well as trying to catch up from this weekend ... i am thrilled at the prospects of being in bed by 10:30 or 11 ... bliss!

leave some love, though!

IT'S TORI DAY!!!!!!!!!!

feeling great deal of tension today, and not sure of why. but not really digging it - not gonna lie about it.

too much to do, not enough time to do it. get me to 5 p.m. and then get me to the airport! oy.

not to mention that i'm sitting here, feeling very, very cold. not a fan of that either.

ok, my apologies -- i'm not going to be able to catch up with everyone tonight after all -- body is crashing hardcore!!! the past two days have been, as i've said, nuts and i know part of my exhaustion tonight is due to the fact that i know tomorrow will be so nuts...i'm going to do my best to be in touch with people tomorrow. my apologies...

couple of quick notes -- today i received (courtesy of the fabulous richard young of msm fame) marc broussard's "momentary setback." i took a quick listen and think it's a pretty sweet album, and i am already head over heels in love with the song "french cafe." loveitloveitloveit. he's on tour during the upcoming months, opening for maroon5, then o.a.r. good times...

i found a restaurant concept that intrigues me and think i plan to give the vegetable garden a shot within the coming weeks.

i treated myself to wrapworks tonight. happiness. mmmm...

and tomorrow will be a long day, but a good one (no beth, i am not a republican).

oh, and i was able to demonstrate today just why i am the queen of the GMC (paul: kevin called me the parker posey of the office. i squealed.)

that is all. :)

keep in mind that while i work in an office that is largely based in my homestate, i'm still hundreds of miles away from the area in which i grew up. so when you have one of those random "hey! we know the same people!" situations, it's alawys amusing and more than a little heartwarming.

when you have instance after instance -- all in the same day -- it's downright bizarre.

today, i met the husband of my favorite teacher in high school -- my wonderful, fabulous german teacher. i had heard so much about him during high school that i felt as if i knew him. so i wrote frau a note on one of my business cards, which he promised to give to her. we also spoke about todd r., whom he coached on the golf team in high school and i, obviously, knew through my sports journalism at smc...

and then a group that came by shortly thereafter included a rutland resident who knows and regularly sees the family of a girl i played on various sports teams with in high school. so then we played the name game some more. it was kind of unnerving at first, but then very cool -- especially since it'll be neat to think of people getting a random vickie update when their various well-wishes are delivered to them...i can just imagine the reactions of "what is she doing THERE?!?!"

yesterday was insane here. today's been insane here. and tomorrow? oh yeah -- it's going to be off the wall.

but things are going well, so i can't complain. but it also means i can't really blog a lot or write email while i'm here, so i'll do my best to catch up with everyone tonight, either via phone or electronically. but know i'm sending smiles.

ok, as a general rule, i don't post emails. largely due to the respect i have for those who email me, also because, in most cases, what is said within email should, in my opinion, remain within that context.

but situation arise in which i have no problem whatsoever with posting a gem -- in either the best or worse sense. which leads me to the emails i have received over the past day and a half or so...good lord, good lord.

i don't generally find myself in the position in which literary sparring comes about, but whenever i do, i have fun with it and don't hold back, particularly if the recipient of said remarks deserves them. such a recipient popped out of the depths of my past after i wanted to doublecheck to make sure no one i knew had been a victim of the fire in rhode island last week. after the mutually obligatory requests to update each other on how things have been, i dashed off a quick summary of the past eight months -- graduated, traveled, played theatre girl, moved to d.c. and am planning my ascent to top-notch theatre critic or otherwise worldly journalistic female.

the following is an excerpt from the response i recieved:

dont have a lot of time to talk i gotta get to bed and be up for six. fun times in coffee world, but it was nice to hear from ya. i donna know about your future endeavors, from my point of view you're entering a seedy profession with not so many professional people out there callin the shots. please dont listen to my cynical world view, lets hope you can make a difference in that shitty and circumstantial world of journalism.
nah, you're good for it
talk to you later

excuse me? ok, i can bash examples of bad journalistic practices (and do, quite frequently and with vigor). i even engage in debate with people i care about, defending or criticizing journalism. because i know the people i hold such discussions with are intelligent and insightful enough to enlighten me and inspire me to make the journalistic world a better place (yes, i realize that sounds just like i should start singing "we are the world" or something). but for a random person to bash the path i intend to follow for years upon years of my life without justification (or at least not justification conveyed to me)? oh no, i don't think so!

so i, naturally, dash off an appropriately short, sharp, biting response that brought me a great deal of pleasure to write:

"shitty and circumstantial." tell me what you really think -- don't hold back on my account.
your candor is appreciated, your cynicism largely disregarded. wait and see what happens when i'm the one "calling the shots."
one might wonder what profession would be considered less seedy. the obviously pristine world of the theatrical arts? much as i love and intend to spend a great deal of my life involved with it, even i know that halo's seriously askew.
enjoy the early morning while i enjoy sleeping through it.

there we go, i say to myself as i click send. no known connection to victims of the fire and the satisfaction of defending my beloved journalism against mean-spirited antagonizers. the odds of getting any form of response? nonexistant.

instead? i get praised.

i must admit i have missed the witty comebacks that were always prevalent in our conversations. and dont worry i wont hold back. (insert various 'justification' for previous cynical email) ...i am willing to concede all is not bed of roses in any profession. but enough of that...
thanks for the laughs, it was funny to see you still dont and wont hold any punches.
oh, and i DID enjoy the early morning thank you very much.
talk to you soon,

some things never cease to leave me in a permanent state of befuddlement.

in other news -- today was ridiculously long and hectic and i now feel as if i have been hit by a few metro cars. but it was filled with me accomplishing things and contributing to the office and showing (myself, at least) that i am an important part of the team and all...so it was a good crazy long day, not a bad one. tomorrow promises to be the same, so i should get shuteye now -- as i will be in the office early again tomorrow morning! i sense a reward for hard work coming on tomorrow evening. oh yeah, wrapworks is gonna be calling my name...hehehehehe

oh -- my first capitol tour was a success -- filled with a few blunders and lots of information and a healthy dash of nerves. but it's done! and i'm sure i have many more tours in my future to finetune things and come off as super savvy tourgide gal...fun times from jenkins' hill, i tell you.

but for now? i curl up with my mug of decaf tea (cinnamon. mmmm. and why is it that i suddenly felt like jewel for a moment there? "he drinks his coffee with sugar and cream, i drink my decaf herbal teeeeeeaaa..."), a copy of people magazine (i know! but it's an occasional guilty pleasure i'm entitled to, dammit! that and i didn't see an issue of entertainment weekly, which i would have preferred. but at least this issue of people has the most amazing picture of colin farrell, who i will admit is no orlando bloom -- but then again, who is? -- but is still mighty, mighty intriguing. it's the badassmamajahamba side. it's gotta be.) and a few (too few!) hours of sleep approaching.

safe journeys to dreamland to each of you...

JOHN WON A GRAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now, had he performed "your body is a wonderland" with the style he's adopted as of late -- the whole boy-band-justin-timberlake-let's-ruin-what-i've-got-going-for-me style -- i would have been thoroughly disgusted that such a horrible version of his music has received recognition from the recording industry.

but he didn't.

that was the closest thing to what i wistfully refer to as "old john" that i've seen in months. just john and his guitar. wearing a long-sleeved tee and casual pants while he performed (random note: i do admit he looked quite tasty in his pin-striped suit!), letting the world get a taste of how he used to be -- a singer/songwriter with a guitar and a laidback style, letting his music do the talking.

THAT'S the john mayer i'm a fan of! i was so delighted to see it.

and then, while i was still surrounded by warm fuzzy thoughts of old john, john mayer's "your body is a wonderland" wins a GRAMMY! so how do i react? i react by shrieking (there are witnesses to this, they'll back this up) and getting choked up.

at least for tonight, it's not john mayer the new diva who won a grammy. it's the john who let us interview him and played "babylon" during soundcheck for me and compared notes about david gray songs and sang, "your body is a taco stand."

i'm so absolutely tickled pink for him.

ok, time to process this. john won a grammy. hell, i've interviewed a grammy winner! how weird is that?!?!?

other quick notes: it was amazing to see simon & garfunkel together again. james taylor is the man. and coldplay is genius. i heart them.

more later...

surprise...

for the time being (well, the next two months, anyway), i have aol access--as i was sent one of those free trial things and i figured hey, why not? so look for me online during the evenings/weekends, as i might be lurking about...fun times, eh?

ok, need to run errands. more to come...

it is amazing that i technically had two extra days off this week, yet i still sit here this morning thinking, "thank god it's friday!" but it's a good, relaxed feeling, as i anticipate a pleasant day in the office and a good start to my weekend...

the week has been hectic, but good. i still feel as if i'm in a bit of a bohemian mindset, as i really should unpack my backpack and organize my room, which is currently in a state of disarray, as i haven't had time to be able to organize or anything remotely along those lines. ok, i admit, it's not as if i'm ever truly organized (while i'm making progress, i still definitely have the mentality that "it's not that i'm disorganized--i just have a creative approach at organization as a general practice."), but with the decoration process i've been working on as well as the bag o' stuff i brought back from vermont combined with the books i'm needing to organize and put away and all of that jazz, it's a bit of disarray that doesn't settle well with me at the moment. i've discovered how nice it is to come home to a tranquil living space and not feel the clutter of the day and whatnot weighing on my shoulders--i can drop my work bag by the door and just exist for awhile--no worries about calls regarding nominations, flag requests or tours--just vickie time that i can spend however i deem appropriate. just a much-enjoyed release--ahhhh...

but that was a tangent i didn't mean to go on...the week's gone well. being in recess is always nice for a few days, as the workday is shorter and the necessary daily tasks tend to be less in-your-face and stressful (mainly catching up on projects and whatnot), but this one has worked out particularly well because it's so brief--while it's nice to relax, recess can get rather dull. but in this one, we only had three days of it, so whoo hoo!!!

that said, i do have a cloud hanging over my head as i approach the 26th of this month...as i've been alerted that it's going to be one fuuuun day on the phones. i feel hesitant even writing about this, as i know this site has come up through some random search engines (how can we possibly forget the mass of people who stopped by while searching for "big fucking boots"?), but nonetheless, i'm going to go with it and take my chances. an organization (which i will not mention or link to, just to prevent any of those potential protesters from stopping by here) is planning a "virtual march on washington" during which they hope to have a phone call a minute coming into each senator's office voicing opposition to war in iraq. a phone call a minute for the eight hours i will be at the phone--granted that's the ideal for this group and is rather unlikely, but it still means i'm pretty much guaranteed an insane day of taking comments. oh yeah, fine holiday fun.

but it's all good. why? because it's not the 26th yet--it's only the 21st. it's friday, i've had a good week thus far and had a very enjoyable evening last night--we held a "we miss rob!!!" happy hour at buffalo billiards after the office closed down at 5 which provided fun times, good drink and good conversation, after which i returned home, in my half-buzzing state decided i was completely capable of working out on the cross-trainer for a bit, which resulted in amusing vickie antics and, after about fifteen minutes, the realization that excercising wasn't happening. so then i was able to catch up on phone calls and otherwise relax, enjoying sprawling out in my room and chatting and laughing. good times!

alright, more later. must be diligent (or at least appear to be!)

i was laughing until i had to try to get back to dc, that's for sure! despite some concerns about getting back to the area (and a two-and-a-half hour shuttle ride that left me, shall we say, quite non-plussed), i'm back, ready for a new (half) workweek and in an absolutely fan-flippin-tastic mood.

getting into work today was an adventure and a half, to say the least. while the metro was crowded at my stop this morning, there was still certainly room to get a stop standing, which was fine, particularly once a seat opened up shortly thereafter, so i was able to sit comfortably and observe the ensuing madness. there were two schools of commuters--those who were aware of the fact that the sardine-tin effect was out of everyone's control and that all those at the platforms trying to get onboard were just trying to get to work on time, and then those who were (understandably) crushed already and frustrated that more people were trying to squeeze into subway cars that were waaaaay too crowded, so they were busy yelling at other people to wait until the next train and not try to board ours. i felt (and i expressed this to some of my happy-crushed-commuter people) as if i was finally able to grasp the experience had by everyone trying to get a spot on the much-coveted lifeboats as the titanic sank into the atlantic...i found it amusing. granted, i'm sure this had something to do with my having a seat for the experience, but nonetheless...

and then, getting off the metro at union station and making my way up delaware to work--hahaha! the snowdrifts are huge, and i joined the line of those trying to climb over the drifts without falling flat on their faces. it was a warm (relatively speaking, naturally) morning, so i was loving it--particularly when everyone was enjoying the experience with one another--from the smiles i exchanged with passersby to the kind gentleman who stood on top of one of the drifts and extended a hand to help me take the slightly periolous step up to the top of the drift.

it's just been that kind of a day--there's a giddiness in the air today that i'm practically gulping in. the morning has been fantastic--i spent some time laughing and talking theater with kevin down in his office, i caught up with erica, chatted with a couple of vermonters on the telephone, got some work done--and the entire time, i've been talkative, energized--just in a fantastic mood. i don't know if it's the snow, the fact that it's warm outside or the fact that there's only a half week of work before another weekend--but things are great! between all of that, shared laughter over "guffman" quotes (there's something so delightful about picking up a phone call and hearing hysterical laughter on the other end before you even say hello) and discussion about how to get me back into the theatrical swing of things down here in dc-land...it's just all-around fun times today...lovin it.

i'll post about the weekend later on as i have more of an opportunity...fun times in the land of the frozen north were had.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

area closed on account of snow...

and everyone thought i was crazy for heading up to the frozen north of vermont this weekend--it might be cold as all hell here, but it's been too cold for snow! meanwhile, my fair home in dc is buried beneath a foot and a half of the white stuff? this is too funny...

granted, it's too funny while i'm still up here--i have a feeling that it will be a nightmare getting back home on tuesday--that is, if everything is operational again so i can get home on tuesday...i have a feeling it will, though. but bwi is closed tomorrow--will it be up and running tuesday? keep your eyes on the weather channel, gang, and see if i'll be in work tuesday afternoon or not...

what a screwy winter it has been, eh?

things here are going well. very well. relaxed, enjoying the opportunity to see everyone...a more substantial post will probably arrive tomorrow, but for now, i've got to head to bed...

happy valentine's day to each of you...

ah, yes, v day. anticipated, hyped-up, depressing, annoying--it can be so many different things to so many different people. me? i think it can be cute--a chance to see how people shower affection on their significant others that always brings an "awww..." from witnesses to said displays--but i've never been one of those people who is all about the holiday, whether all about loving it or all about hating it. i remember being younger and feeling as if i should be so incredibly excited to fill out valentines and give them to all of my classmates because then i'd be getting valentines back, but, save a few special valentines for crushes, it was always a sort of rote process of signing my name and figuring out creative ways of personalizing each one. plus i never enjoyed the feeling of wanting/not wanting to count the number i received and wonder how my total compared to others in the class (when you're younger, all of those holiday things come down to a popularity contest, don't they?). as i grew older, i never found myself involved with someone when the 14th rolled around, so i'd jokingly wear black in "protest" of the "horrificially commercialized manner in which hallmark conspires to make people 'in love' feel superior while those who are single have their noses rubbed in it." but i never fully believed it--while i always wore black, i also found a way to wear red.

i don't know, i guess it comes down to the fact that as far as valentine's day is concerned, i think it's nice that there is a day for it--because there are people out there, sadly enough, who need a specific day to serve as a reminder that they should tell people they love how much they care--and i do, in some respects, feel it's way too commercialized. and i understand that it's frustrating for some because it's a reminder that they are Alone (i use the capital letter because there's being alone, which can be good and liberating, but then there's Alone, which can be depressing and frightening) and i think all of us, regardless of how okay we are with not being involved with someone romantically, feels a twinge of envy when someone describes a romantic valentine's display of affection or gets flowers delivered to the office--but really? it's just a day. a chance to wear red. or black. or red and black or whatever color you want and pass around chocolates to friends and coworkers while acknowledging that whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, family member or friend, there's someone out there who loves you and is thinking of you. as far as the roses and presents and dinners and other showy displays of affection, i say pick a random day to surprise your loved one with it. personally, it would mean more to me to have a boyfriend tell me on a random friday that he loves me and wants to treat me to a night of romance than if he did it specifically on the 14th of february. because then it's not because there's an obligation or pressure to do so on a particular day, if that makes sense.

it's a cute day and it's a fun day. but it's really just that--a day. so have a great day--make sure to eat a chocolate-covered cherry!

it's funny how the day always looms ahead, so full of time and so full of things to get done in that vast expanse of time. wake up, go through the early (too often too early) morning routine, get out the door so i make it to work on time, make the familiar walk to the metro with the familiar unfamiliar faces of those who make the same walk each morning, read on the ride in, look for the familiar people positioned at their "stations" along my walk to work (dredlock man asking for a dime in his barry white-esque baritone, prophet lady standing just before the street--will she greet all of the pedestrians this morning or will she chastise them for their coffees, cigarettes and cell phones?), greet the security officers at my office building, head into the office, plunge into the waiting pile of papers, messages, projects. then, all of a sudden it's lunch, an hour of peace spent refueling, reading, talking perhaps with someone i've met up with. halfway through with the day, there are still hours of work to go, hours that suddenly fly by in a flurry of the same papers, phone calls, perhaps an IM conversation or a few emails dashed off. and then it's the trip home, nestled on a metro seat with the comfort of the book shielding my body from the rush-hour crush of sardine-packed people in the subway car. hurried walk against the brisk evening breeze back to the apartment, where i'm greeted by fidel in the same manner each evening ("good evening, my dear, happy ____ --fill in the blank with appropriate day of the week--how are you?" "great, thanks! see you later." "yes, dear, see you tomorrow, have a great night.") work the office-chair kinks in my back with luxuriously blissful stretching while i warm up in my room before heading down to the gym to work out some of the excess energy/frustration/excitement the day provided while watching bravo on the flatscreen television in front of me--the opportunity to zone out in the realm of entertainment and actors--the first opportunity i've had to not think all day. just be, relax, enjoy. give myself small challenges (well, small by the standards of the buff weightlifters who take on the weight machines, anyway) with the various pieces of machinery, discovering delightedly that i need to add another weight to the resistance, seeing previously hidden muscles start to emerge. return to my apartment feeling the delightfully contradicting sensations of muscles tired and energized, my mind centered and at peace. dinner, some phone conversations, television, more phone conversations, catching up on the day's events with my roommate, then the nightly ritual of unwinding with my book, a mug of hot cinammon tea, a "christmas cookie" candle burning as i relax in bed and prepare to drift off to sleep. a pattern, a routine that brings comfort and peace. and thus the vast and looming day is complete, another to begin when the alarm goes off the next morning...

ok, i felt like doing a bit of stream-of-consciousness writing there, which i haven't done for awhile. it's been a hectic day and i thought some time spent just letting my fingers move over the keys would provide a little spring of tranquility in the hectic pace of the morning. it did, thankfully! i don't know why i wound up writing about my typical routine--it just sort of happened, i guess. looking back on it now, i feel this need to clarify that it's not as boring and mundane as it sounds! there are often bits to jazz it up--whether meeting up with someone for lunch, going to a happy hour after work, etc.--but all things considered, it's a pretty typical presentation of the life of vickie (although i didn't make reference to the writing that i tend to do every day)...

as i said, a busy, hectic day today. but it's been going well and i don't feel as if i'm struggling to keep up with the workload, as was the case yesterday afternoon. but that was also due to the fact that i was trying to get my scheduling work done while organizing tours, waiting for return phone calls while communicating as best as i could via IM with my father (who is a much-improved computer user, but still somewhat illiterate when it comes to IM). it was as if a big stress snowball was rolling down the side of a swiss alps mountain, gaining momentum and size as it prepared to bowl me over and i had no possible way to escape.

regardless, i sit here today feeling much more in control of my workflow, not overly stressed yet still having enough to do in my four hours of afternoon office time after lunch to not rest on my laurels and look up random websites online. i'm also looking forward to a relaxing, enjoyable, somewhat impromptu trip to vermont for the weekend. i had mentioned to my parents two nights ago that chloe would be in colorado this weekend (actually leaves tomorrow) and that i would probably be chilling and relaxing by myself for most of the weekend, as almost all of my friends have valentines to spend the long, romantic holiday weekend with, and my father mentioned a few minutes later, quite out of the blue, "why don't we fly you home? it would be fun!" after being unable to find a flight back to bwi on monday, however, the plan seemed futile--until i was given permission to take a half day on tuesday and fly back to bwi tuesday morning. i'm looking forward to being able to have some time to unwind and see the homestate again. normally, there's such a rush to do everything when i'm home--see people and wish them the best on whatever holiday happens to have brought me home--i don't generally chill and do whatever, so it's nice to come home for no particular reason and just be for awhile. i'm thinking about making a day trip to burlington on sunday, as the family is working during the morning and early afternoon, and, if the defender staff will be working, i might be able to poke my head in and say hi, which would be a great deal of fun. it would be nice to have a little infusion of journalistic routine in my system, if only a taste. not to mention i would look forward to (in a masochistic sort of way) seeing how much the campus has changed already. so if you're a smc type and you'll be around, drop me a line and perhaps we can see about meeting up...

i feel like the past couple of days have been a montage of high-speed moving shots one would see in a hollywood film. everything's racing by, next to, behind me, moving with a rapid, somewhat jerky pace while the camera focuses on me, at my desk, or in the subway or in my apartment, moving at normal pace with a zen-like calm evident. it's rather bizarre...

i tell you, to quote wilco..."i just can't find the time to write my mind the way i want it to read..." - wilco

today's horoscope:

because the sun is agreeing with saturn, it's fair to surmise that an opportunity wouldn't be presenting itself to you unless it had a legitimate place in the/your scheme of things. therefore, especially when dealing with household, real estate or psychological issues, use the available resources instead of trafficking in theoretical abstractions and "if only"s.

despite the fact that i'm having a bit more difficulty this morning being conscious and coherent (the two c's that i hate when my alarm goes off at 5:45 on tuesdays and thursdays), the day is going to be great, i suspect. a great tuesday to follow a great monday and a very enjoyable weekend. once again i find myself faced with the challenge of providing at least some form of a recap of the weekend--a process i always want to be sure to engage in, but i never feel as if i do justice to whatever events i participated in. i need more time--time to describe in greater detail the sights, sounds and feelings that arise through the endeavors...but nonetheless, something's better than nothing, so here i go again...

friday evening was blessedly low-key. i hadn't been feeling particularly well thursday, and although the vickie indulgence thursday night i decided on (decided to finally see "igby goes down," eat chipotle and relax, unwind and decompress) helped, i still wasn't 100% on friday. so i watched the second half of "igby"--i'd had to stop the movie viewing halfway through the night before so i could get enough sleep for the next day at work--caught up on some phone calls, even did some of the work i'd brought home to do over the weekend (organization i didn't have time/space for while at work). i knew that i had plans for debauchery, adams morgan-style, saturday night, so i wasn't all about the idea of going out and being all crazy-like all weekend long (i'm getting old--such behavior is far too tiring! haha).

during the day on saturday, i continued the "vickie explores washington" tour with a trip back to the national gallery, this time to view, among other things, the two special exhibits on display--one on trompe l'oeil (artwork intended to deceive the eye), the other featuring edouard vuillard, which i thought would be enjoyable, as i'm currently discovering an appreciation for 20th century french art i never knew i possessed. both exhibits were fascinating--while some of the trompe l'oeil left me with a "um...not so much" (honestly, how many paintings of dead ducks hanging from hooks do i need to see? a question i never thought i'd have occasion to ask myself) feeling, there were so many pieces that i found astounding--both in their incredible likeness to life and the creativity that led to such pieces. there were three in particular that really grabbed me and took hold. one was a painting that was actually part of a door--a depiction of a violin hanging on a nail that was so lifelike i had to look at the door from the side so i could see that there was nothing more than a flat surface present. the second was a full-length piece depicting a door opening into a hallway, with additional open doors visible in the background. the museum positioned it at the end of one of the rooms in such a manner that visitors turned a corner and saw it at the other end--everyone was doing doubletakes. and the third depicted a painting with a curtain drawn over half of it--the sheen of the curtain, the creases in the fabric--i'm still amazed that someone can create such life out of oils, brushes and canvas...very cool indeed.

the vuillard exhibit was pretty decent--he pretty much covered the spectrum of subjects throughout his career. stil life, decorations, portraits, nudes, etc. i actually found myself drawn more to his sketches than most of the paintings, although i'm not sure of precisely why. perhaps because they were more raw and unpolished? or because they were less "classical"--i've found that i tend to prefer art that has more of a contemporary feel (i won't say "modern," as that makes me instantly think of weird sculptures and big block shapes of color, which i don't enjoy. i'm most into work from the early twentieth century, things that would go with an art deco-inspired environment). think picasso, matisse, van gogh, georgia o'keefe and similar artists. nonetheless, i enjoyed being able to amble through the rooms, at times truly interested in the pieces i was seeing, at other times unabashedly trying to look like i was interested--playing the part of the serious art enthusiast and showing "my cultured side"--hehehehe. museums are so much fun in that respect.

but i also made sure to stop by the contemporary/twentieth century section--finally stood in front of an authentic picasso for the first time (squeal!). picasso and matisse are associated so closely with my theatre experiences--the first production i ever worked on (read: the play that grabbed me by its claws and made me a theatre person) was "picasso at the lapin agile"--that i can't help but be excited when i have the opportunity to be around those works. i went up to the tower to view the matisse cutouts, which are amazing--i highly recommend that people check them out (my favorite was either "icarus" or "cirque", which i'd never seen before.

anyhoo, twas very cool. then there was relaxation and whatnot, as well as some gym time, before heading out for the night with chloe and nicole. we partook in my bottle of boone's farm (haha--lovin it!) before leaving for aileen's apartment, where we knew next to no one, which made it fun. the three of us wound up talking with a guy originally from atlanta, but now working at some lobbying job and who possessed a greater working knowlegde of the political realm than either nicole or myself (and we're the ones with the government jobs..whoops!). the guy was talking with me about the fact that there's a movement to rename the russell building--he was asking my opinion of it and i was explaining my frustrations over the pettiness of the "small stuff" when there are so many other things--larger and more pressing things--we could be focusing on, yadda yadda. my partners in crime were delighted and shocked later when i informed them that that was the first i'd heard of any such movement--i was totally bs-ing the entire thing. whoops! it was fun, though--gave me the chance to do some chatting and enjoy a couple of glasses of red wine--works for me!

and then we headed into adams morgan. i love the morgan, but i'm definitely looking forward to warmer weather. so much of the fun of the place is tied into wandering the streets, watching the people in their various stages of intoxication flock in and out of bars, spilling out onto the streets and into cabs--and it's tough to observe it properly when everyone's busy trying to get into anywhere warm...but nonetheless, it was still fun. hit up a few different places, most of which i'd never been to before, so that's always cool. it was just a laidback chance to have a few drinks, do some people-watching, find people to talk to and what have you.

before piling into the cab to return home, however, i made a horrible, tragic discovery. when first experiencing all that is adams morgan, there was a system--go to bars, drink, have fun, get a jumbo slice at pizza mart, scarf down said slice, head home. i hadn't had the slice since november, however, as i wound up having a not-so-pleasant experience with it (i think it was a combination of eating too quickly and having partaken in far too much fun at dan's cafe). but saturday night, i was ready to experience it in all of its glory once again. so we bought our slices, balanced them on the tin foil and plates while we flagged down a cab and piled into the car for our trip home.

and then i discovered it--i can't eat pizza mart anymore! i had maybe five or six bites when i started feeling ill. i stopped eating it and felt better. took another bite and felt ill. so i enjoyed the crust of my pizza and had to get rid of the rest (for the record, both chloe and nicole said it wasn't up to pizza mart's usual standards as well). this cannot be! now i have to discover something else to enjoy during the late-night drunken state! i'm going to have to either stock up on salsa con queso or find myself something else to indulge in. a travesty, i tell you!

anyway. sunday was relaxation day--i told myself that i was going to sleep in as late as i wanted. no setting alarms, no nothing. so naturally i woke up at 9:30 and couldn't fall back asleep. never fails. ;) but i was able to veg out for most of the day--did the necessary weekly tasks (grocery shopping and the like), as well as taking in a matinee of "how to lose a guy in 10 days" with c & n, which was predictable, frothy, but adorable and funny as hell! i highly recommend it to anyone in need of a fun, mindless moviegoing experience--it's a very fun time.

and then there was yesterday. typical day at work--yadda yadda. i was craving something different for dinner, so i stopped by dupont on my way home and hit up wrapworks for "the big juan" (grilled fresh veggies, roasted tomato salsa, corn and pepper relish, black beans and mexian rice in a low-fat flour tortilla) which i brought home and thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed. i'd experienced wrapworks once before, when i had a wrap custom-made for me, but never tried one of the specialties--it rivaled chipotle, although, admittedly, they're apples and oranges.

so i enjoyed gym time and dinner before checking my mail and discovering the greatest surprise waiting for me--a two-disc mraz show, courtesy of the truly kick-ass paul! so many thanks to him for sending that my way (it got me singing and dancing as i started my day today, therefore helping me cope with the early hour)--not to mention that it's an outstanding recording! it's easily the best live show of any artist i've heard--it's like mraz is chilling in my room, playing for me!

anyway, a few phone coversations later, i settled in to watch "joe millionaire" and immediately became so disgusted by the fact that we weren't going to find out who he picked that i gave that up and wound up making some calls and all in all having a great night! so thank you to those who contributed to that!

whew--ok, i should think about doing some work now. whoops!

alright, so my evening. after closing up the office, i made a mad dash to the hearing room for beryl's "so long, farewell, good luck" party, which had begun at 5 (i closed up the office at 6). about an hour and a half spent at the par-tay, enjoying a couple of glasses of wine (i'm beginning to acquire a taste for the stuff--but only red. white is way too dry for my pleasing) and conversation (including speaking with the senator's wife, as i was arranging a white house tour for her and a couple of her personal guests--she's so sweet!) before the party started to wind down at 7:30. after cleaning up and whatnot, a bunch of us junior staffers headed to cap lounge to celebrate a couple of office birthdays--patrick's, which was yesterday, and chris', which is today. i'd never been to cap lounge before, so i was looking forward to that, as well as the opportunity to hang out and relax for a drink or two before heading home in time to catch my wednesday night tv shows.

well, i got home at 10, just missing both shows. but it was worth it. i did stick to my "drink or two" policy, but wound up talking and laughing and whatnot...and having the single WORST encounter with a waitress i've ever had. the story, you ask? let me tell you...

upon entering cap lounge, we headed to the downstairs bar, which was offering specials on beer (not that that did me any good, but nonetheless). we all got our drinks and headed back upstairs, where we took over a couple of tables. when the waitress came over at one point, corey ordered another beer and i asked for a glass of water, since i wanted to pace myself and all. she gave me a Look and said it wouldn't be a problem. but when she brought corey his beer, she never brought me the water. didn't bring it at all, so i figured she forgot. no big deal.

but when i finished my first drink, i wanted another and she wasn't there, so i walked over to the bar, which was just a few feet away. while the bartender's making my drink, the waitress comes up to me.

"why didn't you order a water at the bar?" the woman, who was probably mid-40s in age, asks with another Look.

"because i wanted a water when i asked you for it," i replied. "now i want another drink."

"well, you should have ordered a water here," she shot back. "some of us have rent to pay, you know."

"well, i probably would have ordered my drink at the table had you been at the table," i said, shocked and amused by the whole thing. "but you weren't, i wanted a drink, so i got one where i could get one now. and thanks for bringing me the water." with that, i took my drink and walked back to the table, where i told everyone the story. everyone was floored. when the waitress came back to see if anyone wanted anything else, ted asked for a water. she gave me another Look (thoroughly unprovoked on my part!) and walked away.

later on, she gave dan a hard time too, as she gave him grief for paying his tab at the bar because she wasn't around and we were getting ready to leave.

i couldn't believe it, though! it's not like i'm mean or anything, particularly at restaurants or bars. i know how hard it is to deal with people--hell, i'm the former drive thru queen--i'm all about giving credit to those who deserve it. but i didn't commit any huge social faux pas or anything by what i did and she was just a bitch! i hope she was just having an off night. holy schnikies!

but the night was great fun and, while i'm feeling it today (i wasn't Drunk last night, but i was certainly past the buzzy stage) combined with the reminder that i have no big muscles as of yet (thanks cake, flower stuff and the case of beer i lugged back to phil's office post-party), i feel like i've been hit by a truck. ugh. i have tentative plans to go out for drinks tonight, but it's up in the air at the moment and kind of hope we can get it postponed to this weekend or next week or something, as i'd love to head home tonight, do some stretching and cross-training, eat dinner and watch tv.

mmmmmm.

seeing something like this makes me very, very happy.

i had an absolutely fabulous ("FAH-bulous, dahling") night last night. a full recap will follow later today, however, just know for now that i had a blast. although i did manage to miss both of my wednesday night shows (i feel as if there's something missing today--oh wait, there is! my knowledge of what happened on each show!) and i learned of just how deceptively heavy a large cake can be (particularly when one must very carefully carry said cake from the fourth floor of russell down to the basement level, through the passageway into dirsken and up to the second floor of dirksen--while waiting a good long while for the various elevators), followed up by a similar experience with a deceptively heavy box with flower arrangements, bowls and whatnot. the arms are certainly feeling it today.

but the good thing is that i've become a lightweight. whoo hoo! quick, cheap drunk! ;)

ok, more to follow later.

update: ok, link doesn't work that way. go to averi's main site, go into the journal and follow the link chad posted at the end of the most recent entry. second photo--the sold out one.

i can already tell that i'm going to be way too exhausted to kickbox tonight. so i think i'm holding off until saturday so i can use the two days this weekend and fully enjoy all that the fitness center can offer.

i think this is a wise decision, so i don't break myself. kickboxing saturday, sauna or pool sunday? not too shabby...

you ever have one of those days where you feel like you just don't feel like you can get anything right? i mean, i wake up, i get into work, i'm being dutiful and taking care of everything i can take care of. i have a project i need to finish up, but i can't do it because other people aren't providing the info/aren't in the office/etc. then i have to run to my cap tour class that's supposed to take two hours and winds up taking two and a half (but was fascinating and provided lots of fun stories i can add to my tours, so that's all good), so i haul arse back here so i can take a quick lunch (twenty minutes instead of an hour) so everyone else can get their lunches out of the way because there's a tour that has to be given this afternoon and i want to make sure erica gets her full hour (see what a sweetheart i am?). so after hauling arse back here, people don't leave for at their lunches for at least another twenty minutes (still haven't left yet), so really, i could have relaxed. i could have enjoyed my lunch, even. but instead, here i am, feeling rushed, flustered and frustrated, not to mention pissed off because now i STILL can't finish the work i want to finish.

meanwhile, i don't ask for people to come up to me and tell me how wonderful i am or anything like that, but i'm not going to lie about it--i've been working damn hard lately and i would love it if someone even appeared to NOTICE. i'm already pissed that i can't go to see the "whose line is it anyway?" performance tomorrow (don't even get me started on that one) and i've been trying to do everything i can to be a big team player and all that. a "hey, vic, thanks" would be more than sufficient.

it's just one of those days and i need to get through it so i can go home, unwind briefly and then kickbox for an hour, probably resulting in a lot of pain for me tonight and tomorrow, but at least it'll get this aggression out. grrrrrrr.

i'm intrigued.

this morning, i was looking up information about kickboxing classes in the area, as i've been thinking about getting a tape or something as a way of overall body-strengthening and as an aggression/frustration/energy outlet. but i figured going to at least one class might be a good idea, so i can see and be instructed on the proper way to do it before i give it a shot and listen to billy blanks or someone equivalent on my own. so i found out that there's a fitness center actually just around the corner from my building that offers a kickboxing class on tuesday evenings. and has a free two-day introductory special. so i printed out the little coupon thingy and am thinking about checking it out tomorrow night, at it works into my schedule really well. i'm sure the price of a membership is unrealistic for me (i'd really only be a member for the sake of being able to participate in the classes--i have a fitness room in my building that i can--and do--use for free, so what's the point in paying?), but having the opportunity to kick my own ass in kickboxing and see if i like it is great! and, i figure, since the class only meets once a week and i would, therefore, not be able to take advantage of that with a two-day offer, perhaps i can take advantage of the massages on wednesday and get my first backrub in eons! mmmm...

anyhoo...it was a nice weekend. went out to happy hour with some of the office friday evening--started off at cap city brewery and then went with jess, liz, greg and greg's brother (new to the area) to irish times, which i'd never been to before. hung out for awhile, surprised myself at the fact that i was nice and buzzy after a vodka cran and a midori sour (granted, the midori was strong and in a pint glass--good irish times bartender, i say!--but nevertheless, a midori sour isn't exactly what one would think of when one things of drinks that will get one nice and drunk). i, for the record, enjoy the buzzy feeling so much more than the "hi, i'm duuuuruuunk" feeling. i haven't been a really big drinker as of late, primarily for that reason, i believe. but riding home on the metro, my eyes feeling a bit fuzzy around the edges, my head not completely attached to the rest of my body and my fingertips feeling a bit buzzy? i'm always a fan of that feeling.

i visited the holocaust museum as i had intended to do and the experience was amazing. i spent over three hours there without realizing how much time had passed and was fascinated by everything i came across. while i obviously knew of the details of the holocaust, prior to saturday, i could never fully understand how things had reached the point they had. but the manner in which the museum is set up gives the visitor the opportunity to really understand how it was a gradual process and how it wasn't as if the german people were foolish and just randomly let hitler take power and warp everyone's minds...it was fascinating. and the reflection room at the end of the museum is gorgeous and moving. it's rather difficult to put into words the way i felt as i wandered through the museum...while no one in my family (to my knowledge, anyway) was involved with the holocaust from any real point of view (we're pretty much strictly from ireland), to be walking through the museum, with my blonde hair and blue eyes, i had to wonder how the logic could have existed that i, had i lived in that time and area, would have been considered "purer" or "more german" than someone else. no matter how many times you are taught about it, no matter how old you become, i honestly believe there's no way to get past that initial fact--and i don't think it's possible to ever provide an answer to it.

so i left the museum and, on the metro ride back towards my neighborhood, checked my messages, only to discover that my father had called to ask about what had happened to "the space shuttle." unaware of the fact that columbia was in orbit, i figured there had been a launch delay or something, so i called him at work and told him i didn't know, but i'd find out when i got home--just had to run some errands and whatnot. so i stopped at tenleytown, took my own sweet time grocery shopping (i found that i have two additional grocery stores that aren't super far away from my place--yeah, larger selection!!!), walked home, stopped at panera to get myself a bowl of mesa bean & vegetable soup (mmmm...), then ambled into the apartment, turned on the tv, and realized what had happened.

whoa.

besides my initial shock about the events that had transpired, i found myself comparing this experience to the experience i had as a young child learning of the challenger explosion. i don't remember a lot of that day--i was five, afterall--but i do remember watching the explosion on television and talking to my parents about what had happened. but i remember knowing that something like that had never happened before and hoping that it would never happen again.

when i discovered that it was columbia that had exploded this time, i instantly realized that i had seen columbia in person--back in junior high when my family vacationed in florida. my brother, who had been a huge nascar fan, was being treated to a trip to the daytona 500 by my father. since mom and i were letting the men of the family be all macho-like and watch cars race around a circle track (can you tell i've never been a nascar fan myself?), we decided to spend the day at the kennedy space center. so we drove down, took a tour and, as luck would have it, were able to see a shuttle on the launch pad, as it would be taking off on a space mission two days later. the shuttle was columbia.

so i spent much of the afternoon watching the television coverage, then took a break from that to work out (but wound up watching the coverage while i cross-trained in the gym) and then ate dinner while watching the coverage. i had intended to go out with chloe and the various and sundry chloe-people, but plans fell through and chloe wasn't going to be doing anything afterall, so i headed up the street to the movie theater there to catch the late showing of "chicago." a short review of the movie will follow later this afternoon.

and sunday was relaxation. went to trader joe's for the first time ever--love that grocery store! did a lot of reading and room decoration--finally hung up my various framed pieces of artwork or vickie memorabelia. i finished "confessions of an ugly stepsister" and began my research about shakespearean authorship. i'm now reading a book called "murder of the man who was shakespeare" (or something like that) by hoffman, which argues that christopher marlowe actually wrote all of shakespeare's work. i'm doing everything in my power to remain skeptical (i would be crushed if shakespeare didn't actually pen my favorite works), but i plan to do a lot of research on this and am already finding hoffman's book fascinating. so we'll see...